Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, June 2 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, June 2 [Vault]

Date: June 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show features candid and humorous conversations about family drama (particularly with in-laws), the addictive nature of online games (specifically Farmville), behind-the-scenes updates on a key cast member’s contract dispute, and the ups and downs of anticipating an engagement. True to its brand, the show blends real-life stories with playful banter between the hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and other cast members.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Listener Jennifer’s Mother-in-Law Drama

[00:30–11:20]

• Jennifer’s Holiday Story:
  Jennifer recounts a stressful holiday with her mother-in-law, focusing on boundaries regarding pets in the house. Her husband sets a rule about crating dogs at night, leading the mother-in-law to bring only one dog, which proceeds to urinate all over Jennifer’s new house.
• Surprise Early Exit:
  On Christmas morning, her mother-in-law leaves without saying goodbye. The abrupt departure is not explained, leaving Jennifer both relieved and perplexed.
• Mother-in-Law Dynamics:
  Discussion expands to the struggles of dealing with difficult in-laws, the importance of a spouse standing up for their partner, and personal boundaries.
• Marital Resilience:
  Jennifer describes attempts at direct communication—including reading her feelings in a letter, only to be cussed out.
• Host and Listener Reflections:
  • Listeners share their own similar experiences with challenging in-laws.
  • Emphasis on having a supportive partner and the possibility of needing to “cut the cord” if toxic behavior continues.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer: “Everything’s come…from me so I look like the witch, you know, the bearer of bad news. So I thought it was going to be a good idea that everything came from him, and I guess it worked to my advantage.” [01:40]
• Bert: “If you’re not getting along with [the in-laws], you really got to reconsider.” [05:29]
• Melissa: “Did you know she was like this before you married him?” [05:17]

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2. The Farmville Phenomenon

[11:34–20:10]

• Hosts Discuss Facebook Farmville Invites: The team jokes about mass Farmville invitations cluttering their inboxes and expresses confusion about the game’s appeal.
• Listener Selma Explains Farmville: Selma admits her addiction, explaining game mechanics—growing crops, raising animals, visiting neighbors’ farms, and “making babies” (game animals, not people).
• Addiction & Real Life Impact: Discussion about how Farmville interferes with relationships, with listeners describing waking at odd hours and spending hours each day farming virtually.
• Comparison to Other Games: Parallels drawn to other online games like World of Warcraft, and the financial empire the creators have built.

Notable Quotes:

• Selma: “My farm looks so pretty…I like the fact that it has different colors. You can do whatever you want to…you don’t really do this in real life.” [13:52]
• Bert: “If someone came to me with the idea for Farmville…‘I need $10,000 to start this thing called Farmville’...I’d spit in your face. But somebody’s making a trillion dollars off of that!” [15:33]
• Selma: “Don’t try it. It’s addicting. It’s crack.” [16:37]

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3. Jeff’s Contract Stalemate & The Show’s Future

[20:17–31:21]

• Listener Inquiries: A listener asks for a Jeff contract update. Bert explains negotiations are at a stalemate—Jeff wants a certain salary, corporate won’t meet it.
• Importance of Jeff: Bert and the team stress their desire to have Jeff back, emphasizing group chemistry and the special dynamic he brings.
• Business Realities & Emotional Toll: Bert discusses the need to balance personal feelings and business practicality. The team is emotionally drained and apprehensive about a future without Jeff.
• Listener Support and Honest Reflections: Callers reassure the team of their value, while acknowledging that change is always difficult for longtime fans.
• Industry Analogy: Bert compares radio hosts to vodka bottles in a bar: when popularity fades, the product changes, but their show remains “top shelf” based on ratings.
• Contingency Planning: If Jeff doesn’t return by Monday, the show will have to move forward—a possible “new era” for The Bert Show.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert: “If Jeff’s not here…the business side of me has to go on…has to kick in.” [25:04]
• Bert: “Our ratings are still so good that people are drinking Grey Goose—the problem is, I’m really still top shelf. We’re not a well drink yet!” [28:23]
• Debbie (caller): “To be quite honest with you, Jeff is not the show…the show is called—you are the show—and your show will survive without him…you’ll have a hiccup…and then in about three months people aren’t even going to remember at all.” [29:43]

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4. Anticipation and Surprises in Engagements

[31:51–41:08]

• Joanna’s Anticipation: Joanna (Flavor J) shares her romantic suspense—she’s convinced her boyfriend Jason is about to propose, having snooped through texts and emails and even caught the bouquet at a wedding.
• Overthinking & The Need for Surprise: Despite Jason's direct warnings (and telling her he wouldn't propose on their vacation cruise), Joanna can't help but over-analyze every situation.
• Host Support and Teasing: The cast sympathizes, with Melissa, Wendy, and Bert poking fun about controlling the proposal narrative.
• Listener Advice: Listeners caution Joanna not to ruin the surprise, recounting past disappointment when their own expectations weren’t met.
• Letting Go: Joanna eventually claims she’ll stop guessing and let nature take its course, though the team doubts her resolve.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert (on proposals): “This is the only thing [the guy] gets to control in this whole process, and the fact that you keep trying to control it, he’s not going to let you do that.” [38:20]
• Joanna: “Even though he told me that…I still thought the whole time…you’re lying.” [37:07]
• Bert: “Do you have a date in your mind…and don’t say what it is on the air…but do you have a date…”
  Joanna: “No, absolutely not at this point. I’m just totally...let it go.” [40:42]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On handling in-laws:
  “If you're not getting along with them, you really got to reconsider.” – Bert [05:29]
• On Farmville:
  “Don’t try it. It's addicting. It's crack.” – Selma [16:37]
• On business realities:
  “The personal side of this...this is a family in here...one of the things that separates us from other shows.” – Bert [25:17]
• On proposal anticipation:
  “This is the only thing that he gets to control in this whole process.” – Bert [38:20]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:30 – 11:20: Jennifer's mother-in-law drama & listener reactions
• 11:34 – 20:10: The Farmville addiction segment
• 20:17 – 31:21: Jeff’s contract impasse and impact on the show
• 31:51 – 41:08: Joanna’s engagement anticipation and relationship banter

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Tone & Style

The episode is lighthearted, open, and authentic; the hosts balance honest talk about life’s challenges with trademark wit and supportive camaraderie.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential Bert Show mix of real stories, playful debate, and “you’re not alone” moments. Whether you’re wrangling a difficult in-law, addicted to Farmville, worried about job security, or just hoping for a proposal, there’s a little bit of your own life somewhere in this wild, entertaining mix.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Bert]

the bird show all right let's get jennifer back on here hey jennifer hey

[Jennifer]

how are you i'm doing good thanks

[Bert]

okay now i know a little beat down you still tired from vacation you

[Jennifer]

know not so much i i guess you'll understand once i tell you the story because she actually she actually ended up leaving early that's a lucky break okay yeah so we go into this holiday and my husband called and explained to her that we don't let we just want a new home so we don't let animals sleep in the beds or anything like that so he told her that she couldn't if she was going to bring her two small dogs that they had to be crated at

[Bert]

night okay let me stop you there for one just one second is that a story that you and he devised together knowing that she would not like those rules and maybe she'd say then

[Selma]

i can't do this well i mean

[Jennifer]

no we didn't come up with it that's just our we have two small dogs and they don't sleep with us but we knew that she would get there and say oh i don't have a crate now so we wanted to go ahead and you know just let her know early on that she had to bring something to put the dogs

[Melissa]

in i will say that that's that's a great boundary that your husband's setting

[Jennifer]

with his own mom you know which is really great and i thought that it was going to turn out to be great you know that it was coming from him because i thought okay well maybe the problem is that last the last few years or whatever that i've had to deal with her everything's come you know from me so i look like the witch you know i look like the one that the bearer of bad news so i thought it was going to be a good idea that everything came from him and i guess it worked to my advantage because you know he told her that she was like okay well i can't bring one of them because he'll cry all night well she has one a new little dog and he peed on everything in my house he was peeing on the floors he was peeing on the carpet he peed on my new couch

[Bert]

did you actually see the dog peeing all the furniture or is there a chance that it was actually your mother in law peeing all over your house

[Jennifer]

no i saw the dog and so the only thing that i did was i at one point like the last time i took the dog and you know i just pointed its nose to it and i was like no you don't pee in the house and i put it in its crate so christmas morning we get up and i think everything's going okay and i can't i mean maybe that really just i'm not really sure but she ended up packing up her stuff after breakfast and she left and went to stay with her aunt with her sister that lives down the road and so i'm like oh and i was in the shower like she waited till i got in the shower i was getting ready i didn't even see her she didn't say bye she just packed up her stuff packed up her kids and her dog and left and so i come out of the shower and i'm like where's your mom and he was like oh she wanted to go stay with raina for a couple of nights and so it was just her sister and so i was like okay is she coming back and he was like yeah she'll be back on sunday she never came back she never talked about coming back she never even called us when she got home so i don't really know what happened i don't really know what the turning point was but there was no big falling out there was no you know huge drama she just left is

[Bert]

she one of these dog people that's so sort of dog crazy that she really does feel like it's like her children and nobody disciplines her children except

[Jennifer]

her you know i don't think so she could probably use that later i'm not letting you know that i the dog in the cage but i don't really think so because there was when she was pregnant the last was chris's little brother her her mother's dog jumped up on the couch and so she pushed the dog down and the grandmother yelled the grandmother's like that and the grandmother yelled at her she was like don't you push my dog down and she was like i'm pregnant and you know he could hurt my child and you're telling me not to discipline your dog and so she got really upset with that so i don't think that she is you know that type of a person but i'm sure somehow later it'll come back has your husband talked

[Wendy]

to his mom since she left well

[Jennifer]

i asked him that last night when we were at dinner i was like you know did you have you talked your mom did she get home okay and he was like well she called me but i was at work so i hadn't called her back yet how

[Melissa]

does he feel about his own mom

[Jennifer]

they really close she had him really young and so for the longest time and even now unless it's me like if someone else is talking about her he's still really defensive but he understands the situation between the two of us now so if i'm talking about her he knows that it's probably something that she's really done and he doesn't try to defend her but they have a pretty good relationship i would say i mean they don't i guess i have

[Melissa]

so many questions for you go for it i've got so many questions for you did you know she was like this before you married him yes you

[Wendy]

did you still married him you really

[Jennifer]

love him i do i really love

[Bert]

him you know we've talked about this before we've talked about this before how you know i think a lot of people go into marriage and they're like well it's not about the mothers and the fathers it's about the person that i love and you don't understand like how deep that relationship is and how much interaction you have to have with the in laws so if you're not getting along with them if you're not getting along with them you really got to reconsider has she ever tried to

[Jennifer]

break you two up you know maybe all of that maybe the funeral thing and maybe you know all the falling outs that we've had before maybe that was an attempt to maybe she was trying to show him you know how bad of a person i was or something but it really all came it blew up in her face and so it all came back to her i don't really know it was trying to break us up it could have been i know that whenever we got engaged she was living out in arizona so i called her last because i knew that she was gonna you know we both knew that she was going to do something to upset me or something like that you know try to ruin the engagement so when we called her i was like hey you know are you busy and she was like no what's up and you know they're obviously a couple of hours behind us and she was still at work and i was like well you know i just wanted to call you and let you know you know she was on your phone i said kristen i just wanted to let you know that we are engaged and she was like oh no actually actually yeah i am busy i have to call you back click

[Bert]

what

[Melissa]

was she like on your wedding day

[Jennifer]

well she during the wedding planning chris uninvited her he was like you know what this is jennifer's day this is about us you're ruining it for us she's trying to plan it she's trying to involve you even though you're so far away just don't come and so that really upset her and she ended up calling and apologizing to me so she knew coming into the wedding that if she wasn't on her best behavior like chris wasn't hitting knuckles anymore good

[Bert]

for you for having a husband that does that though like i mean we've talked to so many virtual listeners that are in the same situation and their husband never stands up to mom or never stands up to dad at least you've got one that's got your back

[Jennifer]

well to my advantage i have a really strong mom and so whenever i have an issue like this my mom's always been the one that's like be a better person and this is what you need to do and you don't have to answer for her you know you have to answer for you so when all this is going on of course my mom like is trying not to laugh about all the stories that i'm telling her you know she's trying not to laugh at me but yeah she's like write down everything that you feel like don't make it angry you know like you're cursing or anything like that just write it down because i do express my feelings better when i write and so i did i pretended as if i was writing her a letter to send it to her and i called her to talk about it you know like this is what i feel like you know you don't like me or that you are trying to sabotage me and so i was trying i made my best friend sit in the room because who knows you like your best friend you know if i was going to get out of hand or with an attitude i knew that my best friend would be like listen stop so i made her sit in the room with me while i read this letter to her over the phone and she wouldn't even let me get through it she really she bad talks my my husband's dad obvious they're divorced and he's remarried so she badmouthed him a lot and his wife and i'm very close to them very close and so you know like you talk about you talk about my in law my other in laws and i don't want you to do that anymore because if you can't say anything nice about them i don't want you to say anything about them at all eventually i'm going to have grandkids and if you're talking about them bad to me you're going to talk to them about like you know to my children and i don't want that so you won't be able to be around them i'm sure you're going to talk about me around our kids so she ended up blowing up on me and she was like cussing me out and stuff and so chris sees all of that you know he sees that i've made several attempts to make this positive and i don't know there's much i can do wow wow

[Bert]

yeah at this point probably not hey laura good morning you're on q one

[Selma]

hundred good morning i think this woman and i have the same mother in law never pulled a pink trick at the funeral or anything but my mother in law when i when i got engaged i was last we were told her last and she busted out tears and was like oh really great like she had a complete meltdown and in my wedding when we said i do all your hairs are busted out crying she was like hysterically crying and i was like i said my i do really loud but she has tried to conquer and divide us several times and i'm here to tell you i will be married seven years and i have two children and she is no longer a part of our life really wow what do you do i mean you can't have somebody who's going to try to divide your family and thank god i have a good husband who's like no that's my wife you're gonna you're gonna respect her if you can't respect her you can't respect me and you can't respect the mother of my children

[Bert]

you can't do that yeah jennifer that very well could be your future also like eventually your husband may just have to say yeah cut the cord yeah

[Jennifer]

i hope it doesn't come to that because you know like i said i'm very close to my mom and so i really want him to be able to have that relationship with his mom but i at the same time you can only put up with so much

[Melissa]

it sounds to me like she is just really unhappy in her own life she's still bitter over the divorce bitter that her ex husband's moved on bitter about you know her son moving on and having a life and she doesn't have one you know yeah she needs to get a life yeah and at

[Bert]

this point there's nothing you can do about it you're handling it great though there are so many i bet that were listening to that going huh i you know what i'm gonna try to sit down and write a letter cause maybe if you're better at writing than you are actually the face to face maybe a good option and i bet

[Melissa]

there's a whole bunch listening that god my mother in law's not so bad

[Bert]

right all right jennifer thanks a lot appreciate the update thank you all right bye bye the birch show the birch show so i'm starting to get an email over and over and over again and i bet you guys are getting this too it's more of an invitation actually than it is an email to

[Wendy]

farmville what is that no idea what

[Melissa]

that is and why won't it go

[Bert]

away i actually didn't want to do the research on it because i wanted virtual listeners to tell us about it so four hundred four thousand seven hundred forty one q one hundred here's all i know about it is that like seventy four million people are on farmville and all it appears to me is that you get like a virtual farm and you harvest every day okay as far as i can tell like i said i haven't done like intense research on the whole thing but as far as i can tell you get a lot of land a lot of land online and every day you harvest your

[Wendy]

crops i'm just getting those facebook things with here's a chicken here's a hen a goat i'm like what is this

[Melissa]

those facebook things that'll get you hidden real quick but they're unfriended it makes

[Bert]

you think there's gotta be more to it than just harvesting crops of seventy four million people are involved in it it's got to be more than just chickens and lettuce and cows and trees

[Melissa]

it has to be right there has to be something that's more intriguing than that there's got to be something addictive

[Bert]

about it you know anything about it no i don't know anything about it

[Melissa]

that's not my grandma that's melissa or melissa's lost her voice because there's a

[Wendy]

phone there's an iphone apple that's oh my god i farm yeah i heard people get it i've heard people wake up in the middle of the night to harvest but i don't know what

[Melissa]

they're doing is that what they're calling

[Bert]

it today i mean so you would set your alarm wake up and water your crops and then go back to

[Wendy]

sleep that's what i'm hearing my aunt i think is using it now so i don't know what the big deal is about it but apparently wake up in the middle of the night something

[Melissa]

addictive about it because nobody would actually get up and go outside and water their own real plants real life in the middle of the night why in the world they're doing it to their virtual ones i can't understand it's one

[Bert]

of these things though that i'm getting so many invitations on and you were all probably getting so many invitations that you can't ignore it anymore stupid but it just doesn't look like there's any fun to it at all really hey

[Selma]

selma hey good morning how are you

[Bert]

guys doing good morning now selma to me is the name of a person that is invested in farmville yeah i

[Selma]

hate to say it but i have and my farm looks so pretty i think that's what it is about it it's just i like the fact that it has different colors you can do whatever you want to to where you don't really do this in real life

[Bert]

you have to give us the basics on it though because none of us have any idea what it's about we just keep getting invitations to join people

[Selma]

on farmville basically it's you you grow your own crops and then your friends come and fertilize it to where it's going to grow faster and then you get cow chicken bulls stuff like that and then you know you put the cows and chickens together and then they make babies and it's just a bunch

[Wendy]

of stuff make babies the what cows

[Melissa]

and chickens make babies yeah i don't

[Selma]

i have no idea they have like this i can't remember what it's called but you basically put the cows and bulls together in it and after a day or two when you come back to farmville it tells you that you had cow babies and that you can sharing with friends and stuff like that

[Wendy]

okay so what's the ultimate goal ultimate

[Selma]

goal is to have as much crops as you possibly can and to have the biggest farm possible look again i

[Bert]

want to reiterate seventy four million people are on farmville so it's a virtual farm and you harvest crops and sometimes you wake up and you have more land and you have more animals and

[Selma]

that's the game basically yeah and you love it i love it i like i don't set my alarm to wake up to you know one of my crops or anything but basically when i get home that's like the first thing that i do i go check my farm before i check my facebook somebody's

[Bert]

making a ton of cash off of it like and if somebody came when ideas like this come up i think if somebody came to me with the idea this farm bill they said look bert here all i need is i need ten thousand dollars from you ten thousand dollars to start this thing called farmville and they explained it the same way selma just did look it's a virtual farm and what you're gonna do is you're gonna wake up every morning and you're gonna harvest your own crops one morning you wake up there'll be a new cow and the next morning there'll be a bull and there's really no end to the game it's just a farm online can i have ten thousand dollars i'd spit in your face i'd laugh at you ten thousand dollars for that but somebody's making a trillion

[Wendy]

dollars off of that i'm not i mean that was what twitter was hey i have one hundred and forty characters you're gonna write what you're doing and

[Bert]

everyone thought that was dumb the snuggie somebody asks you for ten thousand dollars to invest in the snuggie you'd say what a waste of your time right

[Melissa]

and it's huge maybe we should all

[Wendy]

try it for a week farmville i

[Bert]

don't have time for farmville who's got time for farmville hey jackie jackie does

[Selma]

you guys just click crack don't try it really really oh my god someone sent it to me about six months ago and i'm addicted it's horrible it's horrible don't try it yeah there are

[Bert]

support groups now that yeah that like wives are losing their husbands to it husbands are losing their wives because they're spending so much time working on their virtual farms that they're not spending time

[Selma]

with the families anymore i agree with that i got up this morning at five thirty and the first thing i did is went to check my farm before i even went to the bathroom

[Melissa]

are you serious now if you went

[Bert]

outside like jen said to check your

[Wendy]

farm then the family would have food

[Melissa]

right then you would have something to

[Selma]

cook for dinner yeah right i you know what me and my girlfriend's been in fights over it because i'm on that damn farmville don't try it it's addicting it's crack how many hours a

[Bert]

day do you spend harvesting your virtual

[Selma]

farm well i have five of them you have five farms i have farmville i have yeoville i have fish world

[Jennifer]

and i have country life and i

[Selma]

have farm town so i spend probably five hours a day and it's sick it's a sickness don't cry it it

[Bert]

sounds like a term you would use to talk about sex in front of your kids without talking about sex like baby i can't wait to harvest the crops your virtual crops can't wait to

[Wendy]

come fertilize your farm

[Melissa]

why don't you put a bowl in the barn with

[Wendy]

the calf would you like to have

[Melissa]

cow babies

[Bert]

i'm gonna harvest your farm tonight hey crystal good morning good morning

[Selma]

i love the bark show thank you so pa tell us exactly what you heard but the only thing is you actually pick everything that goes into your farm you can you can make your farm any way you want you decide how big it is you pick your animals but you can also gift an animal to a friend or a tree or whatever who cares actually harvest and

[Bert]

but there's no competition to it so there's no winners no losers there's nobody

[Selma]

dying whatsoever but your friends that are on facebook they're your neighbors and you can visit their farm and help them pull weeds and stuff so you get points and experience levels for doing it

[Bert]

wait a second you would not do

[Wendy]

that in real life you would not go to a friend's house and like hey can i help you pull weeds like you don't do that there's another

[Bert]

one of those sexual terms that you'd use in front of your kid like i want you to pull my weeds and harvest my crops tonight you could

[Wendy]

use a little extra fertilizer in that

[Melissa]

i need you to tend to my

[Bert]

crops baby crystal how much time do you spend pulling the weeds every day

[Selma]

i don't i spend an hour maybe a day on it because it does take like i told you it could take two days to harvest your wheat or whatever so you don't really have to check it every day like an

[Bert]

hour out of your day used to be a lot of time but you're like ah not that much only an hour out of my day pulling somebody

[Wendy]

else's weeds judge judy's on the other

[Melissa]

woman gets up at five thirty only because of farmville i don't know i

[Bert]

don't want to know i mean the phone lines are lit up with people that are saying that it's interfering with their relationships really it's no different than those video games you were talking about what was the online world of war world of warcraft same type of this

[Melissa]

another thing where i want a psychologist to say why explain to me why you would ruin your marriage over harvesting

[Bert]

virtual crops and somebody's making a trillion dollars off of it the birch show the birch show good morning robin you were on q one hundred hi hi

[Jennifer]

i wanted to i had to go into work yesterday when you guys were talking about jeff and his contract can

[Bert]

you talk about that yeah i mean as much as we can today there's really no update for those of you that didn't get a chance to listen to the show yesterday here's the bottom line with jeff is that he and corporate are kind of at a stalemate right now jeff wants a certain amount of money and corporate doesn't want to pay it and they're negotiating they're still negotiating and they were negotiating over the weekend they negotiated yesterday and there's really no update at this point i got a ton of emails about it yesterday and i want this to be perfectly clear that everybody on this show and i am leading the charge on this once jeff back on this show absolutely we just don't have anything to say about there's nothing we don't sign his paycheck i mean i've talked to corporate a trillion times over the last couple of months and they know how we feel about it and at this point there's nothing that we can do this is between jeff now and cumulus corporate and we're hoping and hoping and hoping that they settle over the next couple

[Selma]

of days okay good deal thanks so much okay thank you all right all

[Bert]

right bye yeah i promised you guys yesterday i wouldn't give you updates on non updates there is no update so we won't do that i mean my hope is after today when most people hear that jeff still isn't part of the show yet his contract expired it's i mean he's technically he's not an employee of q one hundred anymore so the next time we talk about it hopefully after today is us telling you that jeff is coming back on thursday or jeff is coming back on friday or jeff is going to be back on monday or unfortunately we got to move in a different direction you know i had a lot of a lot of time to think about this over the last couple of weeks in between calling corporate and calling jeff and getting my agent to call jeff's agent and my agent to call corporate and trying to get everybody on the same page together that at some point you know a decision has to be made by jeff and by corporate and at that point we're gonna have to move on as a show it's gonna be a crappy crappy day for us if this happens but i want to brace you guys as an audience that come monday that might happen and i gotta brace ourselves as a staff too that there is a possibility on monday morning that this is gonna suck but this is gonna be a jeff dollar list show

[Melissa]

that could happen we're just hoping that that doesn't happen and that we have really great news by friday that jeff will be back and the family will

[Bert]

stick together and i feel the same way like a whole bunch of you guys do i got the emails yesterday man i mean i don't think the show is as good without jeff dollar this is a better show with jeff on it and that's why i have fought so hard and tried to do everything i can to get him back in studio but i have only i can only do what i can do and if that doesn't happen then my promise to everybody else in this studio and everybody else at this radio station and our families too is to give you guys the best product we can and i've been doing radio for a long time and i've never been on a show that wasn't successful so i'm fairly certain that i will fill that spot with somebody that's gonna raise the level of the show or make it as good as it has been that is my promise to you guys i don't want it to get to that point mm mm i do none of us do none of us do you

[Melissa]

seem more defensive today in your tone in talking about it were the emails really critical of you yesterday no i'm not cause i try to stay away from all those message board posts and all that kind of stuff because everybody can sit behind a computer and you know say things they would never say to somebody's face or whatever so i just ignore that stuff and don't really read it but i was just wondering you seem more defensive today i'm not

[Bert]

defensive i'll tell you what i am and i don't read the message boards either i'll read the emails cause those are our listeners direct to us but message boards i will never go to because that's just a whole bunch of people that probably don't listen to the show all that much and aren't fans and are just being critical and just being mean so i won't go to those but the emails i read i'm not being defensive is there a difference between defiant and defensive because i think what i want to express today is this is that and i've gone through this process with jeff and corporate much longer than anybody else in the studio so i've sort of been through the battle and i've had to mentally say there's a possibility that this is going to be a jeff dollar list show and my job to you jen and to wendy and to melissa and to everybody else at this radio station because a lot of the revenue here at the station depends on this morning show getting ratings and if we don't then salespeople don't eat our production guys don't eat you don't eat jen and we're all out of jobs and i was hired to make sure that we are the best morning show in atlanta so if jeff's not here then i unfortunately the business side of me has to

[Melissa]

go on the practical side has to

[Bert]

kick in has to kick in and

[Melissa]

i think that's even though it's still so emotional and because you've been going through this for months and months it's exhausting it's exhausting you emotionally so i think that yeah i understand where your mind goes okay click over and start

[Bert]

thinking practical yeah the personal side of this and i've always had a very difficult time separating both the personal from the professional professional we are this is a family in here yeah and this really does this is one of the things that separates us from other shows is that it's very difficult for us to make business decisions because we do care about each other so much so not having jeff here the last couple of days has hurt all of us jen started crying on the air about it the other day i i lost sleep i mean a whole bunch of sleep the last couple of weeks about it because my friend isn't going to be here i know possibly our friend's not going to be here and i can't i can't even imagine looking over to my left here and seeing somebody other than jeff i know but at some point i do have a responsibility for business guy to kick in and make sure that we're all right we're

[Melissa]

all secure well let's not let him kick in until friday positive energy today's tuesday we got the rest of the week and hopefully our brother will be back that's what we're all hoping for

[Bert]

one hundred percent not even not even questioned hey kay good morning you're on

[Selma]

q one hundred hey good morning guys how are you okay okay happy new

[Bert]

year we're good until we have to talk about this yeah until we talk

[Melissa]

about this this stinks and then melissa doesn't have a voice we got two men down today two men down i

[Robin]

know well i just want to say that you know i love you guys collectively and individually and just to let you know i'm african american and i listen to you guys every single morning like i said because i love you guys collectively and individually but you don't

[Melissa]

tell your friends you do right no

[Jennifer]

i tell them too i'll tell them

[Selma]

stories they start laughing and they're like what especially the crazy chicks that follow

[Robin]

their boyfriends around they're like what i'm like yeah you need to listen to them they are hilarious you know what

[Bert]

we got to start calling this this is the burt show down low like if you're on the burt show down low you're listening you're listening you're just

[Melissa]

not telling anybody

[Robin]

in all serious talk it is a business and you do have to think about the businesses and you have to think about people like me who are listeners and who really really want a great product which is what you guys give us and so bert i have a lot of respect for you keep it up you're doing the right things you're saying the right things and i think deep down listeners understand it's just people don't like change

[Selma]

and it'll be okay look nobody in

[Bert]

here likes change either so we hope that we don't have to do it i mean when you've got this kind of formula that's worked i don't wanna

[Wendy]

change it no especially with jeff we

[Melissa]

know the timing of each other so well in here that like when melissa breathes a certain way i know she's about to say something funny or get mad about something or jeff shifts in his chair and we know he's gonna feed us a line of bs like we just know each other so well it works like an amoeba in this room and so it's just it would be weird to be missing that part

[Bert]

of the amoeba and it's just unheard of that you know it's i think i told you guys this before the analogy that my friend used justin who owns ten degrees south when i was having some contract problems a couple of years ago also said this to me he's like hey bert take a look at my bar i gave you i've told you guys this analogy before right

[Wendy]

i haven't heard it i don't think

[Bert]

so he's like take a look at my bar and he breaks out a gray goose bottle and he says you are a gray goose bottle to cumulus broadcasting when people are done coming to my bar and drinking grey goose what do i do with the bottle i throw it out and i replace it with a different kind of vodka that people are gonna like and if they don't like it anymore then i get another bottle of vodka and i give the people what they want in the entertainment field you are no different so if people are done with you then they bring in another show or just a vodka bottle in entertainment the problem here is that our ratings are still so good that people are drinking grey goose the problem that i'm really still top shelf we're still top shelf we're still top shelf we're not a well drink yet so the problem that i'm having here is that it's such a successful formula and we're messing with that formula so it doesn't make business sense to me and personally it doesn't make any sense either hey debbie good morning you're on q one hundred hey good

[Jennifer]

morning bert hey you could have said it better this is a business and even though jeff is your friend you have to separate your business and your personal feelings and to be quite honest with you jeff is not the show the show is called you are the show and your show will survive without

[Selma]

him you'll have a little bit of

[Jennifer]

a hiccup and you'll probably feel a little left out or lost for a

[Selma]

couple months but then in about three

[Jennifer]

months people aren't even going to remember

[Bert]

at all well i would agree in

[Jennifer]

a discreet and to be honest with you i personally did get annoyed with jeff and having him go on there has been like a blessing well that's

[Bert]

that's part of his charm here i'll agree with you on some things and i'll disagree with you on some things also the show isn't about bert even though it's called the bert show what i've done here is i've assembled a whole bunch of people that make this a great show this is a this is a great chemistry show and jeff is a large part of that calculation and that chemistry so that part of it i can't agree with that that it's it's the it's yes it's the birch show in name but it's our show this is our team you know the second part is i totally agree with you that there will be a hiccup for a while if on monday jeff is not here and we have to go in a different direction the show is not going to be as good for a while period missing a

[Wendy]

limb like it'd be like without my

[Bert]

right arm it's gonna happen that's what

[Melissa]

i said yesterday oh really yeah i put it i said on twitter i said i want my right arm back

[Bert]

yeah you it can't be the same show i feel bad for the guy that's gonna come in first and try to replace jeff if it gets to that point because that's gonna he's gonna get a lot of reluctance a lot of reluctance and it won't be as good a show for a while but eventually it will be because i can't allow this thing not to be good none of us can right well they

[Melissa]

say in show business the show must go on but we don't want it to go on without him right and like we keep saying it's not over

[Bert]

yet it's not over yet it's not

[Melissa]

over till the fat lady sings and

[Bert]

she isn't singing yet i'd say we probably have until monday like friday if they're still at a stalemate then on monday morning i'm going to have to come in here and we're going to i'm just going to be totally honest with you and say this is a new era on the bird show we're all hoping that doesn't happen so we have till friday okay okay the bird show the bird show that music means joanna rodriguez is at mike i would

[Joanna]

like to be referred to as my new jersey shore name which is flava

[Melissa]

j flavo j that's your that's your

[Wendy]

queenette name flavor j flavor j in

[Bert]

the house jen you can explain this better than i can this period this stage that joanna and jason are in right now okay or she like knows

[Melissa]

it's gonna happen well when you're in love and you've been dating for a long time cause you guys have been together almost two years right it's right about that two year mark where you start thinking oh my gosh we're in love and i want to get married and he wants to get married and you've talked about marriage and you've you know maybe mentioned about weddings or oh well when we get married we're going to do this differently or you think god you know what we should do that for a honeymoon someday or you've talked about potential babies at this stage both sets of parents you've met each you know and and most of the time the parents have met each other at this point so like the families are starting to merge you know it's going to happen any day now but it's up to the guy to decide and usually the woman would have wanted it to happen a little bit faster than the guy would have wanted it to happen so you're sort of on pins and needles expecting it to happen you're excited but you're also nervous because you just wanted to like hurry up let's hurry up and get it along like we know what's gonna happen and especially like where joanna is and a lot of her friends are getting married she's like i wanna plan my wedding and she's like i want it to be my day i'm ready for us to have like our moment and so that's where she is right now and every time he takes her to dinner does something special holds her hand in a special way she thinks a diamond is on the other side of that

[Joanna]

ties a shoe i think he's down

[Bert]

on the knee now she's also stacked a deck here because she snooped through his phone and through his email so

[Wendy]

yeah you little sneaky and mailbox and

[Bert]

mailbox and so you've seen things that you know that this is about to happen you just haven't really been able

[Joanna]

to pinpoint when exactly i mean it started with a text message and then i found a piece of mail and

[Melissa]

then happened to find a piece of mail she mailed this mail and snooped

[Joanna]

in and our names start with j

[Melissa]

i got confused by the way i

[Joanna]

got confused so and then he accidentally forwarded me an email disclosing that it was going to happen in january and i thought he was trying to throw me off and i thought he was gonna do it on the cruise why did i think he was gonna do it on the cruise well you know it's a really romantic time it's the new it's the holidays you're starting a new year together and so this is

[Bert]

a cruise that you guys took right

[Joanna]

before christmas right okay we first went down to florida to be with his family for christmas and then on sunday after christmas we left for our cruise

[Melissa]

cool how long was it it was

[Joanna]

a seven day cruise okay so you're

[Wendy]

on there for new year's mm and

[Joanna]

he brought his uniform for his army blues for one of the formal nights and i thought that's the day he's gonna do it you know it was on the night that he's all dressed up and i'm all dressed up that's

[Melissa]

right and you were like borrowing your

[Joanna]

friend's dress tonight yeah exactly and i had my dress picked out and i had my hair already i already knew how i was gonna do my hair and everything well a couple of things happened before we left that made me think oh for sure this is totally going down like what well one my mom told me that jason approached my brother and said i want to marry your sister and i want to make sure this is that you know for your permission i want to marry your

[Bert]

sister what do you think he meant

[Joanna]

by that i want to marry your

[Bert]

sister did you read into that at

[Melissa]

all no wait first of all calling foul on your mom for telling you

[Joanna]

that right right that's not cool i know but but you know i don't know i was kind of disappointed she said it but at the same time i was like oh well then this is perfect you know like this is totally gonna happen this weekend or this you know vacation and then the second thing that happened was when we were in florida together he goes honey do you wanna go get your nails done and i said sure i mean i get pedicures but i don't get manicures and he goes do you wanna get a pedicure and a manicure so you were thinking that and i'm thinking oh he wants me to get my manicure so my hands look nice when he puts that beautiful diamond ring on and i'm like of course i want to go get a manicure pedicure well when he comes to pick me up from getting my manicure pedicure he sits down next to me i'm drying my hands in the little thing and he sits down next to me and he goes listen i want to tell you something and i was like what he's like you know tomorrow's christmas and what i'm going to get you for christmas comes in the same kind of a box that a ring would come in but it's not a ring and i just want you to know so you don't get excited and think you know that i'm doing it then and i was like okay that's fine cause i already think you're gonna do it on the cruise is what i'm thinking i never

[Bert]

thought you were gonna do it this

[Melissa]

christmas great now i get earrings to

[Bert]

match good for him for giving you the warning though i think a lot of guys make that mistake yes then

[Joanna]

he said i wanna tell you something else and i was like what honey he goes i heard your segment where you thought i was gonna propose to you on the cruise and i'm not proposing to you on the cruise so

[Bert]

he flat out told you before the

[Joanna]

cruise came out and told me that he's not gonna do it because he didn't want me to get all excited and he wanted me to enjoy the cruise and have a good time and not think that every time he like stumbled on something it was on the ground or something because he's kind of clumsy and he falls a lot that he's like you know on one knee and i was like but seriously even though he told me that you were

[Melissa]

still like he's trying to throw me

[Joanna]

off i would have thought the same

[Melissa]

thing i would have been like oh good try buddy good try so it

[Bert]

didn't change your mentality at all not

[Joanna]

at all i still thought the whole

[Wendy]

time you're like lying but then i

[Joanna]

snooped through his suitcase and i didn't find anything you really joanna no you

[Melissa]

went through his whole suitcase yeah where was he when you went through it

[Joanna]

this is funny he was either in the bathroom or was doing something else

[Bert]

seriously so you start rummaging as quickly as you can through the shoes i

[Melissa]

was like baby i need to put

[Joanna]

away your clothes so it really didn't happen no it really did not happen

[Melissa]

i was still sitting here waiting listening to you tell all these stories thinking you were gonna stand up put your hand in your pocket and pull it

[Joanna]

out no there's no ring are you serious but you know what there was a wedding that took place on the cruise and guess who caught the bouquet

[Wendy]

you did i did you did so

[Bert]

that means it's coming wait hold on

[Melissa]

a second you really don't have a ring in your pocket let me stand up put your hands in your pocket let me see you really aren't hiding

[Bert]

a rain see the whole thing he is waiting for her to just relax

[Melissa]

about it man i thought for sure it was a done deal i thought

[Joanna]

it was done here is what he

[Bert]

understands is that this is the only thing that he gets to control in this whole process and the fact that you keep trying to control it he's not gonna let you do that mm

[Joanna]

mm i'm just so bummed and then i was thinking well maybe if i hadn't said anything on the radio he would have still done it maybe because he thought that i was coming he changed his mind so i'm done talking about it from here on out i'm not guessing anymore you're not capable of

[Melissa]

that what did you get for christmas

[Joanna]

i'm just kidding he got me these diamond earrings beautiful and a cute apron that says we'll cook for shoes it's

[Bert]

cute we'll cook for shoes yeah that's hilarious for a second there i thought you said we'll cook for jews and i'm like it's not appropriate she makes a mean matzo ball hey tc what's going on people hey man how are

[Selma]

you doing pretty good this is the inherent flaw with women when it comes to engagement you know they steal the thunder from the guy you know no matter what happens and gosh you went through the whole trip thinking that it was going to happen this is like

[Bert]

that birchill caller that we had a couple of years ago remember that she thought it was going to happen this weekend then we called her the next

[Melissa]

weekend and then valentine's day right it

[Bert]

was for three months and then her

[Wendy]

birthday and then she ended up breaking

[Bert]

up with the dude yeah i mean she put herself this disappointment that she felt every week that she was sure he was gonna propose you're going through the same thing right now yeah and

[Joanna]

to be honest it's so weird because he told me hey i'm giving you something that's in the shape of a box that a ring would come in but it's not a ring still as you're opening it your heart kind of sinks because you're thinking maybe ring ring

[Wendy]

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

[Melissa]

and it's not

[Bert]

hey ann good morning you're on the burke show good morning

[Jennifer]

everyone how y' all doing okay okay joanna congratulations or early congratulations but calm it down all right girl i'm the same way because i'm expecting a proposal this year too sometime you want the surprise you really do you really do

[Bert]

but she doesn't and i mean she doesn't want the surprise so much that her mom is even in on it

[Joanna]

now yeah no i do want the surprise but i can't help myself but think it's gonna come on all these special events i mean it's just my nature it's just how i am i'm going to try and anticipate when it's gonna happen go ahead but you did go through his suitcase yeah just helping him unload his clothes that's not a

[Melissa]

surprise

[Bert]

do you have a date in your mind and don't say what it is on the air but do you have a date in your mind where potentially it could be the next time

[Joanna]

no absolutely not at this point point i'm just totally going off let it go yeah i'm letting it go it's done good for you what if you

[Melissa]

guys date for a whole other year

[Joanna]

that's fine i thought about that too i was like what if we you know just continue dating for another year that is absolutely because i know such a lie no i really i love him i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with him i will wait

[Bert]

as long as he you're saying that cuz you think he's listening right now you think that that's gonna help you get the engagement liar hey the birch show