Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, June 23 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show: Full Show PT 2 – June 23, 2026 [Vault]

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings a lively and authentic mix typical of their popular morning format: candid interviews, listener dilemmas, and lighthearted banter. Key themes include pursuing Olympic dreams with guest Alana Myers, navigating workplace boundaries through a tricky Valentine’s Day gift story, unpacking John Mayer’s latest controversy, and offering practical Valentine’s Day gift advice for listeners. The cast—Bert, Melissa, Jeff, Heather, Jessica, and others—maintains a blend of humor and real talk throughout.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Olympic Dreams with Alana Myers

[01:31–13:08]

Introduction & Concept

• Bert and Melissa express their love for the Olympics and joke about their chances of actually competing, specifically targeting bobsledding as the “easiest” way to make it to the games.
• They welcome Alana Myers, an accomplished US bobsledder from Georgia, to test their theory.

Key Insights & Exchanges

• Challenging the Olympic “loophole”: The team debates if lesser-known Olympic sports or less-competitive countries make it easier to qualify.
  • Quote (Melissa, 2:53):
    “It’s like the front person and the back person doing everything right... the two people in the middle aren’t doing crap.”
• Alana quickly corrects these misconceptions, explaining the athletic demands and technicality of even the “middle” bobsled roles.
  • Quote (Alana Myers, 3:53):
    “Usually men have the most problems with bobsled... they try bobsled for the first time and they never get back in the sled... Women tend to get in the sled and stay; men tend to pick up and leave.”
• The group learns about the intensity, team effort, and precision involved in bobsledding.
  • Quote (Alana Myers, 5:04):
    “It’s way more difficult to actually load in the sled than people think... getting four guys into a bobsled, that’s not very long. It’s all about riding position and teamwork.”
• Alana’s background: She transitioned from professional softball to bobsledding after the sport was removed from the Olympics.
  • Quote (Alana Myers, 5:51):
    “After I finished my softball career in 2007, I sent out an email to everyone in the federation… bought a plane ticket to Lake Placid and tried out and made the team.”
• On being an underdog: Myers describes her journey and current competitive outlook, touching on rivalry within US bobsled teams.
  • Quote (Alana Myers, 9:50):
    “We’re seen as an underdog, but I think people are underestimating us.”
• The emotional and physical aspects of representing her state and country at the Olympics, plus personal anecdotes about competition uniforms and body image.
  • Quote (Alana Myers, 10:57):
    “White pants on worldwide television. It’s not going to go well, but you know, we made it work and we’re going to rock it.”

Memorable Moments

• The half-joking (and self-deprecating) plans by Bert and Melissa to find the “easy path” into the Olympics.
• Alana’s calm myth-busting and insight into athletes' mindsets, especially regarding gender dynamics in the sport.

---

2. Caller Dilemma: Inappropriate Valentine’s Day Gift at Work

[14:47–26:55]

Scenario

• Listener “Heather” calls in with a predicament: her boss (one out of several) gives her a $1,500 Amex gift card, ostensibly as a Valentine’s Day “gift,” after expressing clear romantic interest.

Team Reaction & Advice

• The cast debates whether the gift is a well-intentioned bonus, an inappropriate overture, or both.
• Consensus: the timing and personal nature are suspicious (“If it was a bonus, give it in March!” – Burt, 18:10).
• Suggestions range from simply accepting the gift and keeping it professional, to returning it to avoid workplace drama.
  • Quote (Melissa, 21:09):
    “He is your boss. He gave you a $1,500 bonus. It’s not for you to try to figure out what it’s for. Take the money and get up.”
  • Quote (Burt, 20:30):
    “Don’t you think her accepting the gift is, he will interpret as, oh, okay, she might be a little interested?”
• Listeners and the entire team offer practical and tongue-in-cheek alternative solutions (bringing all bosses to dinner, using it on something unromantic, etc.).
• Underlying concern: implications of power, gender, workplace rumors, and repercussions.

---

3. John Mayer’s Playboy Interview & Racial Controversy

[27:30–37:32]

Summary

• The team discusses the fallout from John Mayer’s blunt Playboy interview.
• Primary issues: Mayer’s “sexual napalm” remark about Jessica Simpson, his comments on only dating white women, and the use of racially charged language (“white supremacist genitals” and the N-word).
  • Quote (Heather, 27:54):
    “He calls his male parts a white supremacist.”
• Discussion about “hood pass” or “ghetto pass” concepts, listener perspectives, and the limits of authenticity and free speech, especially concerning race.
  • Quote (Burt, 30:22):
    “You can’t say the N word… I’m a little skeptical of people, especially white people, for whom it can roll off their tongue like that. I don’t think an apology is going to make up for it.”
• Callers of diverse backgrounds weigh in, emphasizing that context, history, and proximity don’t neutralize offensive language.
  • Quote (Caller Mario, 34:40):
    “Every time a white person has said that around me, there’s been a fight… It’s not something you just look over lightly.”
• Team consensus is that Mayer’s apology doesn’t mitigate the impact, and his celebrity seems to distract from his musical talent.

---

4. Valentine’s Day Gift Advice – “Jessica Shops” Segment

[38:07–53:53]

Framework

• “Jessica Shops” joins to field calls from men unsure what to get their significant others, with a humorous tone set by putting all callers on a voice disguiser.
• Scenarios range from first dates on Valentine’s Day to years-long relationships with recent bumps.

Notable Advice

• Early relationship (first date): Stick with low-key—just a card and perhaps a single rose (43:41).
  • Quote (Jessica, 43:20):
    “Maybe flowers and a card. That is enough because you don’t want to freak her out… nothing too serious.”
• Anniversary or “serious” first Valentine’s Day: Personalized gifts like a digital photo frame loaded with pictures, maybe a sweet card (45:01).
• Troubled relationship: Gestures that reinforce connection—flowers in a thoughtfully chosen vase, personalized mementos, maybe a low-key getaway. Delivery and the “how” matter as much as the “what.”
  • Quote (Jessica, 51:11):
    “If you’re going to take her away somewhere, it’s the presentation, like, how you do it. Maybe you could even get… one picture that you both like, you could get two copies. Give her one, and then show her you have the same one.”
• What not to do: Lingerie or jewelry too soon, elaborate gifts for casual dating, generic/impersonal items, “star registry” jokes.

Humor & Memorable Bits

• Jeff repeatedly suggests prank gifts (webcams, airbrushed license plates, etc.), and Melissa riffs on the importance of effort (“It’s about effort, it’s about effort… Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good lie on Valentine’s Day”—39:35).
• Bert tells a story about giving flowers in a champagne bucket from the club where he and his wife first met, illustrating the value of sentimental personalization (53:24).

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Olympic Aspirations Debunked
  • “Usually men are the guys who start the sport and tend to chicken out… Women tend to get in the sled and stay.” – Alana Myers (03:53)
• Body Image Realness
  • “White pants on worldwide television. It’s not going to go well, but… we made it work and we’re going to rock it.” – Alana Myers (10:57)
• Workplace Boundaries
  • “Valentine’s Day? Give it to her in March at the end of the quarter or something.” – Burt (18:10)
  • “It’s not her responsibility to determine that though. He gave her the money. As a boss-employee relationship…” – Melissa (22:13)
• On John Mayer’s Comments
  • “You can’t say the N word… I’m a little skeptical of people, especially white people, for whom it can roll off their tongue like that.” – Burt (30:22)
  • “Every time a white person has said that around me, there’s been a fight. It’s not something you would just look over lightly.” – Caller Mario (34:40)

---

Episode Highlights Section-by-Section (with Timestamps)

| Timestamp | Segment | Highlights/Key Themes | |-----------|--------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:02–13:08 | Alana Myers interview | Myth-busting bobsled “easy wins,” athlete journeys, Olympics | | 14:47–26:55 | Caller "Heather" workplace dilemma | Ethics of workplace gifts, gender, power, Valentine’s drama | | 27:30–37:32 | John Mayer’s controversy | Celebrity, race, language, authenticity, musical legacy | | 38:07–53:53 | Valentine’s advice with Jessica | Relationships, meaningful gifts, humor, “effort” in romance |

---

Tone & Style

• Freewheeling, snarky, and honest, with moments of genuine empathy and self-awareness.
• Willingness to poke fun at themselves and each other, grounded in practical advice and a strong sense of community with listeners.

---

Conclusion

This Bert Show episode blends Olympic inspiration, real-world workplace debates, conversations about race and celebrity, and Valentine’s Day relationship coaching. Through it all, the show’s trademark comedic banter and community spirit keep things entertaining and relatable—delivering “laughs while bringing you into our world so you can take a break and escape yours.”

Transcript

[Lady Luck]

Hey guys, lady luck here. Are you going on any road trips this summer? I know I'm going to be going on a bunch of road trips. And being that I'm going to be passenger princess, I Love playing on Spinquest.com Spinquest has all of my favorite slot games. Live blackjack, live craps. Head on over to Spinquest right now and get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Thumbtack presents Uncertainty strikes. I was surrounded. The aisle and the options were closing in. There were paint rollers, satin and matte finish, angle brushes and natural bristles. There were too many choices. What if I never got my living room painted? What if I couldn't figure out what type of paint to use? What if I just used thumbtack? I can hire a top rated pro that knows everything about interior paint, easily compare prices and read reviews. Thumbtack knows homes. Download the app.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Today, the Burt show.

[Burt]

Burt and I are going to the Atlantis.

[Melissa]

We're going, man. I'm more fired up today about going to the Olympics, not attending, participating in the Olympics than I ever have before. Based on the story that we're about to hear from Alana Myers right now from Douglasville.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Oh, my God.

[Melissa]

I told you guys before, I'm checking out.

[Jeff]

This is embarrassing.

[Burt]

Why are you doubting? I mean, you know what? You're just gonna be jealous when you see Bert and I walking into the Olympic stadium, whichever Olympics we get into.

[Melissa]

Hey, Alana. Good morning.

[Alana Myers]

Good morning. How are you doing?

[Burt]

Great.

[Melissa]

How are you today?

[Alana Myers]

I'm good. Good.

[Melissa]

First of all, I mean, your story on how you got to where you are right now is an amazing story. It's an amazing, amazing story that we have to get to. But before we do that, Melissa and I have to ask you a question. Okay.

[Alana Myers]

Okay.

[Melissa]

You have actually inspired us.

[Burt]

That's right.

[Melissa]

Because Melissa and I love the Olympics and we've lost. We've watched the Olympics our entire lives. But now we have a dream to actually compete in the Olympics. And our theory has always been this, is that in every Olympics, there's always some random either competition or a random country that if you qualify for, you should be able to compete in the Olympics. For instance, like a team from Tonga that takes up bobsledding, you're probably gonna be able to qualify for the Olympics. All right, so our thought is, what sport can we get into where we could ride somebody else coattails and compete? And we're looking Smack dab now at bobsledding for this reason.

[Heather]

Oh, boy.

[Melissa]

And tell me if I offend you here to say I'm totally out of line.

[Alana Myers]

You don't offend me.

[Melissa]

All right, well. Cause here's our theory.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

What you do.

[Melissa]

The two women bobsled. That's impressive. You got two people working there.

[Jeff]

This is much different than what you were saying when she wasn't on hold.

[Melissa]

Well, just let me get to it. It's a two person bobsled is very small, so two people have to participate at least 50%. Here's what I'm thinking about that four man and woman bobsled, though, Ilana, the two people in the middle aren't doing crap.

[Heather]

And we all don't agree on that theory.

[Melissa]

It's like the front person and the back person doing everything right.

[Jeff]

Come on now. Before she was on hold, didn't you say anybody?

[Melissa]

What I'm saying is that two middle people.

[Burt]

The two middle people is what he's saying.

[Melissa]

Are allowed. Are allowed to ride.

[Jeff]

How hard could it be? Bobsledding?

[Burt]

Alana, first of all, congratulations, okay, for running a state in our country. And I'm sorry that you have Olympic haters over here with us. We're not hating Olympics in the room. And two of us are all about it. And two of us are over there criticizing.

[Heather]

No, I'm just saying bobsledding is a lot harder than Bert thinks, especially being the two people in the middle. So I want you to tell Bert on how difficult it is to be the two people in the middle of a four person bobsled.

[Jeff]

Dated a bobsledder over the Internet for three weeks. Remember that?

[Alana Myers]

Actually, it's funny because usually men have the most problems with bobsled. Usually men are the guys who start the sport and tend to chicken out, tell you the truth. So they have, you know, four people in the sled. But a lot of times you have men come up and try for it or try bobsled for the first time and they never get back in the sled. They just all of a sudden disappear from the track or they just don't show up again. So it's kind of funny. Women tend to get in the sled and stay, stick it out and stay around for a while. Men tend to pick up and leave. But in a four man bobsled, which obviously the women don't have, everyone's pushing, everybody's doing their thing. But you could make it down in a four man bobsled if you're not very good at pushing and you'll be in the sled or whatever. You just won't win a medal. And that's what we're all about in the USA is winning medals.

[Burt]

All right.

[Melissa]

The actual pushing of the sled here, it looks to me like it only takes like three seconds. And then so you push, push, push, push, push. And then the two, the four. But after that, the two people in

[Burt]

the middle, they're not breaking.

[Melissa]

It's like being on the Aerosmith roller coaster at Disney World.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Heather]

They all have to lean the same way.

[Burt]

Right leaning.

[Alana Myers]

Part of it is riding position. So how you ride in the sled will determine how the sled actually moves. The funny thing about four man is it's. It's way more difficult to actually load in the sled than people think.

[Heather]

Thank you.

[Alana Myers]

So in order to get four guys into bobsled, that's not very long. I don't know the exact parameter.

[Jeff]

Well, Bird, I think would be good at it because he was in Miami last weekend and he had one twin size bed for five men. So in a hotel in the Holiday Inn Express. So I think he's used to.

[Burt]

And they kind of slept.

[Melissa]

That won't be a problem for me because I basically am the size of a little league trophy.

[Burt]

Well, Alana, now your story is that you were a softball athlete and then you transitioned into bobsled. So how did that happen? And why bobsledding?

[Alana Myers]

It's funny. I was playing softball all growing up and everything. And my dream was always to go to the Olympics. And I'd seen bobsled in the Olympics in 2002 when the US won the gold medal, in 2006 when the US woman won silver. And I thought about trying it, but I was still playing softball. I played professionally softball, and then also in 2005 softball. I got taken out of games, but I still had a dream to go to the games. And I remember seeing bobsled. So after I finished my softball career in 2007, sent out an email to anyone in the federation, to everyone in the federation, actually, bobsled federation. And they sent me an email back and said that we had to try out in two weeks. So I bought a plane ticket and went up to Lake Placid and tried out and made the team.

[Melissa]

I mean, think about how impressive an athlete that is. What kind of athleticism you have to do to be. To be that great at softball that all of a sudden just say, I'm going to switch sports and be that athletic that within two years you're competing in the Olympics. That is an amazing feat.

[Jeff]

And that's what you claiming that you can do.

[Melissa]

No, what I'm saying is I can ride along.

[Burt]

You know, and here's the thing. Alana probably got a lot of flack from people who said, oh, what are you doing? You can't do bobsled. Even though if you go to Lake Placid, you can't do it. Alana said, no, I'm going to be in the Olympics. And guess what? Her dream came true. Okay, so she had people like y' all in her life. The doubters. See, that's not. That's not healthy. So, Alana, congratulations.

[Heather]

I just think it's a lot tougher than Bert and Melissa think maybe the four man.

[Alana Myers]

Yeah, it definitely is a lot tougher. And like I said, it's the loading. It's not just getting in the sled. It's being able to make sure it's as fast as possible. You know, as brakeman, we live or die on hundredths. So if you're a hundredth or two slower than people, you may. You might not be. You might be sitting at home watching the Olympics versus actually on a sled.

[Burt]

Well, Alana, I mean, you may have a better indication of this after the, you know, Olympics, but. Okay, so let's say, you know, Bert and I. Let's say the bobsledon's not a good thing. What winter sport do you think that's so easy?

[Melissa]

Like that curling thing.

[Alana Myers]

Come on. Yeah, I'm going to get persecuted, but, yeah, definitely curling. I think the oldest person on the Olympic delegation, number one, is a curler. So it's definitely a sport you could do for a while.

[Jeff]

Well, it's because it's. I mean, it's right next door to shuffleboard.

[Melissa]

It really is shuffleboard on ice.

[Jeff]

Right?

[Melissa]

I mean, we can do that.

[Sunny]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Well, we're gonna figure something out.

[Melissa]

And you are the only athlete on the entire team from the state of Georgia, right?

[Alana Myers]

Yes.

[Melissa]

I love that.

[Burt]

That's fantastic.

[Melissa]

I really love that. So you had no training in this whatsoever. You go up there, and then they train you for two years. And the very first time that you actually tried bobsled, did you realize that you had a knack for it, or was it simple athleticism?

[Alana Myers]

I was really athletic, and I could convert, but I was actually pretty awful the first time I pushed a sled. It's a lot harder than people think as far as getting technique and being able to do it efficiently. You know, everyone who comes out to bobsled has Got a pretty baseline level of raw athleticism. But being able to use your athleticism to push a bobsled and to do it on ice, it's a little bit more difficult than people would imagine.

[Melissa]

How fast do you go in that thing?

[Jessica]

Ooh.

[Alana Myers]

On the Olympic track, we will go over 90 miles per hour.

[Burt]

Oh, that sounds exciting.

[Heather]

That's intense.

[Melissa]

Totally.

[Alana Myers]

It's pretty cool. On the Olympic track, there's a curve called 50 50, which actually some of our guys nicknamed. It's curve 13. And it's actually a curve where quite a few people crash. One day we had national champions or world champions crashing in that corner. So it should be pretty exciting Olympics with that and the speeds we're going to reach now.

[Melissa]

I was reading my Sports Illustrated Winter Olympics edition just a couple of nights ago, and there's another bobsledding team, women's bobsledding team, that they're predicting will win a medal, a silver medal, but it's not your team. So there's somebody more experienced or there's a team that's more experienced than you guys are.

[Sean]

Right.

[Alana Myers]

The driver in that article is Shawna Robach, and she was actually one of my drivers last year. In women's bobsled, we tend to switch around a lot, and we won a gold medal on the Whistler track also. She's a silver medalist from the previous games. But my driver this year, Aaron Pack, also has a bronze medal on that track. So, you know, we're seen as an underdog, but I think people are underestimating us.

[Burt]

Wow.

[Melissa]

So what do you think it's going to be like for you, you know, when you're at the opening ceremonies and you're representing the country and I don't know who's carrying the flag, but have you had a chance to, like, sit back and sort of go through your mind on what that's all going to be like for you?

[Alana Myers]

Oh, we had our team processing yesterday, and we just got all our uniforms and everything's fitted and everything. And just when we were taking pictures with all this gear on for opening ceremonies, it suddenly became real. And I just think it's going to be amazing. And it's a great honor, and I'm really, really blessed to have this opportunity.

[Burt]

Are you allowed to say what the outfits are?

[Alana Myers]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

Let's go for it.

[Burt]

Yeah,

[Alana Myers]

it's Ralph Lauren. There are these red and blue jackets, mostly blue, and it's got red accents, a hat, a beanie, I guess. And it's actually have moose on it. Which is kind of cool. And a thick turtleneck sweater underneath. And white pants, which I thought would be a bobsledder. Girls worst nightmare because we're kind of big. We range anywhere from 160 to 180. And I'm the heaviest actually on the bobsled team. So I thinking white pants would be awful, but they're really nice.

[Heather]

Good looking white pants.

[Melissa]

So this goes along with the theme that you guys have said to us is that no matter what a woman's body conscious 24 7, even if you're

[Burt]

one of the best athletes in the world.

[Alana Myers]

Definitely, definitely.

[Melissa]

Well, good luck.

[Alana Myers]

White pants on worldwide television. It's not going to go well, but you know, we made it work and we're going to make it work and rock it.

[Melissa]

Well, good luck. I mean, this is the only, only athlete competing in the Olympics from Georgia. And she's from Douglasville. Is there any. Do you still have friends and family here in town?

[Alana Myers]

Of course, my family still lives there. You know, all scattered throughout Atlanta now. And my friends, same thing.

[Burt]

And when is your competition? When's Your first race?

[Alana Myers]

February 23rd and 24th and it's one race, a combination of four heats.

[MeTV Announcer]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Is there any chance you think that you'd have any time to talk to us before that also and just kind of give us a snapshot of what you've seen there and then maybe we can talk to you after the race also?

[Alana Myers]

Oh, definitely. Definitely.

[Burt]

I'd love to do that.

[Melissa]

That'd be fantastic. Well, good luck on both winning a medal and looking good in the white pants.

[Alana Myers]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Caller Mario]

Thanks a lot.

[Melissa]

Appreciate it.

[Jessica]

All right, thank you.

[Melissa]

Good luck. Bye bye. All right, so if you're watching the Olympics and you want to get it on a local level, man, Elana Myers is.

[Jeff]

And you don't want to wait four years till Burton, Melissa in it doing speed walking.

[Burt]

It doesn't matter if we're walking in and we're representing a country in the Olympics, y' all just. You can watch us on tv, but we're in our white pants. I'll wait for it.

[Melissa]

She has only been, you know, she's only been bobsledding for two years.

[Burt]

Two years.

[Melissa]

We can do this.

[Burt]

That's right.

[Sean]

Okay.

[Melissa]

It's Alana Myers from Douglasville, Georgia.

[Spinquest Announcer]

The Birch Show.

[Spinquest Announcer (alternate)]

Happy birthday, America. It's time to celebrate and play your favorite Las Vegas Casino games by American owned spinquest.com. what's better than fireworks and American pie? Hitting a blackjack in the palm of your hand and you won't lose your fingers. Over a thousand games, including slots and live dealers, and $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 spinquest.com buy American players.

[Spinquest Announcer]

For American players, SpinQuest is a free to play social casino. Prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[MeTV Announcer]

MeTV is America's number one classic TV entertainment network, airing over 60 of the greatest TV series every week. Now METV presents the Golden Girls of Summer, showcasing the best of the golden girls. Watch Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia Weeknights on MeTV at 10pm 9 Central. Log on to metv.com now to find out where to watch MeTV free over the air and on cable, satellite and select streaming services. METV is memorable entertainment television.

[MeTV Announcer (alternate)]

METV is America's number one classic TV entertainment network, airing over 60 of the greatest TV series. Every week. Now METV presents the Golden Girls of summer, showcasing the best of the golden girls. Watch Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia Weeknights on MeTV at 10pm 9 Central. Log on to metv.com now to find out where to watch MeTV free over the air and on cable, satellite and select streaming services. METV is memorable entertainment Television.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Hey, the Birch Show.

[Melissa]

All right, Heather. Here is her situation where she can't quite make out if she's got an inappropriate gift or not.

[Jeff]

I think she knows it's inappropriate. The question is, does she accept it?

[Melissa]

Hey, Heather.

[Jessica]

Hey.

[Melissa]

How are you today?

[Heather (Caller)]

Okay. How are you doing?

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Alana Myers]

All right.

[Melissa]

Do you feel comfortable telling us in what kind of industry you work?

[Heather (Caller)]

Okay. I work in real estate.

[Melissa]

Okay. All right. And you have been working there for how long?

[Heather (Caller)]

For four years.

[Melissa]

Four years. And the relationship that you have with your boss has strictly been a work employee relationship up until this point?

[Heather (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have a couple bosses. Like, it's not that I work just for one person. I actually work for four people.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Heather (Caller)]

And, like, I see a different person each day, essentially.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Heather (Caller)]

And this one particular person, he has been there only two years, and it's strictly, strictly work relationship. Like, I. I'm very clear on that.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Heather (Caller)]

He, on the other hand, is. Has kind of made it clear that he has a crush on me.

[Melissa]

In what kind of way?

[Heather (Caller)]

I mean, just sort of, like, I can, you know, a woman can kind of tell when a guy is trying to just, like, be a little extra nice or like, a little extra complimentary or, you know, he's made it really clear that he's single and looking to date. You know, I don't know. It just, like, is he flirty? Flirty with you he's flirty and not in a way that I ever feel uncomfortable, but I'm always kind of, like, aware that he.

[Jessica]

He thinks he would like to go

[Heather (Caller)]

on a date with me. And I'm like, no, I'm. You're my boss and that's it.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Melissa]

And in. In all honesty, have you ever used that to your advantage in the office?

[Heather (Caller)]

No.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jessica]

No.

[Heather (Caller)]

I don't even know a way that I could use it to my, like, no.

[Melissa]

Like, by sleeping with him or something. That would be one. Okay.

[Heather (Caller)]

So basically yesterday, he was the person that I was working for, and he gave me an American Express gift card, a 1500 dollar.

[Heather]

Nice.

[Heather (Caller)]

And he was like, I really want you to have this, and I want you to do something special with it this weekend for Valentine's Day. I was like, fifteen hundred dollars?

[Jeff]

Like, buy yourself a new car.

[Heather (Caller)]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. But, like, I know that of the four people that I work with, for example, like, he's the one that's made the least money this past year. Like, he's not a wealthy guy. So $1,500 is a lot of money for him to be giving me.

[Heather]

My expectations for Burton Jeff had just increased.

[Melissa]

You better think again.

[Jeff]

Don't give yourself anxiety over that.

[Melissa]

Are you the top seller in the company?

[Heather (Caller)]

No, no, no. I'm not personally an agent. Like, I sort of am an assistant for all of these.

[Melissa]

I'm just trying to think of in somehow some way that he's trying to tie in, like, the bonus angle to the whole thing.

[Burt]

But Valentine's Day gift.

[Lady Luck]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Even if it is a bonus angle. That's weird. On Valentine's Day?

[Burt]

Yeah. Give it to her in March at the end of the quarter or something. But yeah, I. I think. I do agree that. I think that's inappropriate.

[Heather]

Have you. Have you told him you've had any, like, financial problems at all?

[Heather (Caller)]

No, and I haven't. I'm fine.

[Melissa]

It's just coming out of nowhere.

[Burt]

And he's not giving anybody else the same thing.

[Heather (Caller)]

No. And it's specifically for Valentine's Day. He even sent me an email already being like, so what are you gonna do? What are you gonna use it for Valentine's Day? He was like, I'm not doing anything, like, weird.

[Melissa]

Hey, Lisa. Yeah, it's a little weird.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I would. I would take the money and run, you know? He gave it to you as a gift. Don't look a gift. Trust in the mouth. Go have a great Valentine's Day.

[Burt]

Now he's expecting something from that. Like, you're not going to hear the end of it.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

He doesn't want you. He's the gift horse, and he doesn't want you looking at his mouth. Tell you that, guaranteed.

[Heather (Caller)]

I'm thinking, if I took him out, if I took him out for, like, a thank you for the gift, don't do it.

[Burt]

That's what he's trying to get you to do.

[Heather (Caller)]

And, like, kept it very platonic and very, like, thank you so much. You know? Would that be.

[Alana Myers]

No.

[Jessica]

Weird.

[Heather (Caller)]

Like, then. Then I'm not just, like, taking his money. Then I'm sort of like, I don't know.

[Melissa]

If you open that door a little bit, it might as well be all the way open. In a guy's mind, that would be you opening the door, and it will become a huge hassle.

[Alana Myers]

Mm. Just dinner?

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Burt]

I mean, you sound surprised by that. I mean, you said you have how many bosses? Four bosses.

[Heather (Caller)]

Yes.

[Burt]

And you take him to dinner, like,

[Heather (Caller)]

essentially with the money that he's sort of paying.

[Burt]

Let me just tell you as the co worker. Okay, so I'm your co worker and we're, you know, everybody, your co workers. But you're almost sometimes in competition for bonuses and salaries and everything. And that would not go unnoticed that you went out to dinner with a boss, you know? Yeah, I would notice that. And it would come back to haunt you in the future.

[Melissa]

I am still with caller number one and saying, taking the money.

[Heather]

Taking the money.

[Jessica]

Really?

[Melissa]

Yes. Yes. Take the money.

[Jeff]

Just say thank you and never thank you.

[Melissa]

That's was a gift they have. It's in his head. Take the money. It was a gift. Thank you very much. Bye bye. Gotta go.

[Burt]

Here's the thing, though. You just said that in a guy's mind, a little crack in the door's opening the door in his mind. Don't you think her accepting the gift is. He will interpret as, oh, okay, she might be a little interested.

[Jeff]

No, she might be a little broke.

[Melissa]

Take that cash. Hey, Angela.

[Jeff]

Good morning.

[Jessica]

I don't. I think she's an administrative assistant. I don't think it's that unusual. I mean, I worked. I work in the law firm industry and we get bonuses all the time. You know, anywhere from 1,000 to $5,000.

[Burt]

Valentine's Day.

[Jessica]

Weird that it's on Valentine's Day.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Like, I don't think that that's a mistake, that the timing there happened on Valentine's Day.

[Jeff]

I want to.

[Melissa]

But still, he is your boss. He gave you a Fifteen hundred dollar bonus. It's not for you to try to figure out what it's for. Take the money and get up.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

End up with the emails that says what are you doing Valentine's Day and what are you gonna do with this money?

[Melissa]

You just gotta shut the door on

[Heather]

him and say email him and tell him you're going on a date with a guy and you're using the money for the date.

[Jeff]

That would go over swimmingly.

[MeTV Announcer (alternate)]

Yeah.

[Burt]

My take is just give it back because I don't. I wouldn't want the drama that comes with it.

[Jeff]

If you have three other bosses.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Are they. Are any of the other ones single?

[Heather (Caller)]

Well, two of them are women and one of them is married, so no.

[Jeff]

So he's the only single one. You can take him to dinner.

[Melissa]

No.

[Heather]

You're crazy.

[Jeff]

Take them something, man. Times are tough. Work for your money.

[Burt]

Yeah. It'll change the course of your work environment from here on out.

[Melissa]

If you go to dinner or if

[MeTV Announcer (alternate)]

you take the money.

[Jeff]

You know what?

[Melissa]

She as an employee hasn't done anything wrong by taking the money.

[Burt]

But he will not just get in his mind. It's not just a gift. And so. Well, I hope he had a good. You know, it will come back to haunt her from him.

[Melissa]

It's not her responsibility to determine that though. He gave her the money. As a boss employee relationship.

[Burt]

I understand, but I. But in a work environment, if you don't shut the door by not even taking the money, then you don't have to deal with the drama in the office. Because he is going to be on you in the office all the time. More so than he is now if you take his money.

[Melissa]

Hey, Susan.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Jessica]

Hey guys. I just wanted to tell her that taking the money makes her not just about love. It makes her expect others to him because it's basically like he's buying her now because she won't accept him. So he's trying to find another way to get to her.

[Burt]

It is a

[Jessica]

completely wrong.

[Jeff]

I think she takes the money, only goes to dinner with him because imagine how much she could get to lay down with him like mommy and daddy did once so many years ago.

[Burt]

But everybody in the office will think she did that.

[Jeff]

That's like 75. Who cares?

[Melissa]

1500 bucks.

[Jeff]

Guess what?

[Burt]

She's in your work environment.

[Spinquest Announcer (alternate)]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

A new pair of Jimmy choosing whatever they want. Hey Lynn.

[Melissa]

Good morning.

[Burt]

Come on.

[Jeff]

She is a whore and she should be proud of it.

[Melissa]

Hey Lynn. Good morning.

[Jessica]

Good morning. No, it's inappropriate.

[Heather (Caller)]

Definitely.

[Jessica]

No, I mean, you Know that kind of money leads to other things. It's like if you wanted to give her just a nice gift for Valentine's Day, a couple hundred bucks or something. But fifteen hundred dollars? She's expecting something.

[Melissa]

She is a good employee, and he wanted to go over the top. In her mind, she's perfectly. It's perfectly acceptable for her to think I've done a great job and this guy is going over the top to give me a bonus.

[Burt]

He's abusing his position and masking it as a bonus so that he can try to get to her.

[Caller Tim]

Take the.

[Burt]

Give her flowers for Valentine's Day. That's sweet. That's appropriate. That's it.

[Melissa]

Hey, Laura. Good morning.

[Heather (Caller)]

Hi. This is Laura. I just wanted to let you know that I think she ought to take everyone out to dinner with it.

[Jeff]

Like us?

[Jessica]

Yeah, you know, I mean, the. Her company.

[Heather (Caller)]

I mean, if. But I think that would be a nice gesture.

[Heather]

I think that's a great idea. Take all four bosses out to dinner.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Does make a statement. It does make a statement.

[Heather]

That.

[Melissa]

Thanks a lot for the money, but I want to share it with everybody else here.

[Heather]

I think that's a great idea and a way to mask it, too.

[Melissa]

On her side, I still don't see anything wrong with taking that cash. I gotta be honest with y'.

[Sean]

All.

[Melissa]

It is a bonus. In her mind, that is a bonus. If he's got the problem, if he's coming onto her, that's not. That's not her problem.

[Heather]

Kind of agree with you on that one. Or just tell him you're using the money for another date.

[Burt]

But imagine the work environment. Like, just. If you don't want. If you have no interest in him, then don't accept his gifts.

[Jeff]

The problem with you, Melissa, is you care what other people think of you. Like, if you could somehow. Yeah, if you could. If you could somehow lose that filter and just live in your own moment like other people aren't important.

[Melissa]

It's about you.

[Jeff]

If she's in, unless I'm nearby, then it's about me. Then it's about you.

[Burt]

He's an administrative assistant and he's her boss, and he's doing this. It is highly inappropriate. And I'm telling you, if you want that reputation in the office, take it. Take the money, take him to dinner. But you'll have that reputation in the office with everybody.

[Melissa]

Hey, Julie. Good morning.

[Heather (Caller)]

Hey. I think this is indecent proposal money for sure. I think that he's expecting her to get a hotel room with the card

[Melissa]

but just because he's expecting that doesn't mean she has to do it.

[Heather (Caller)]

I think if he had framed it as a bonus, if he had said, this is a bonus, maybe it would be different. But he didn't say it. He said, I want you to do something really nice for Valentine's Day. I think the only way she could keep the money is if she's really clear that she's doing the most unromantic thing possible, like, oh, I bought a new dishwasher with a gift card or something like that.

[Burt]

He'll know that he bought her that dishwasher. And then didn't you say that he was following up with emails like, what are you going to do with the money? I'm not doing anything for Valentine's Day. Didn't you say that's what he said after the fact, after the offer?

[Heather (Caller)]

Yeah, definitely. I mean, he's definitely made it clear that he wants to go out, I think.

[Melissa]

And you make it perfectly clear back to him that that's not gonna happen. That agreed. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with the cash, but I know on Valentine's Day, I got a date set

[Burt]

up if you really wanted. Yeah. And I think if you really want to tell him it's not gonna happen. Thanks, but give it to an employee that needs it.

[Jeff]

I wasn't gonna do anything for Valentine's Day, but now they got these fifteen hundred dollars. I'm gonna take out one guy on Friday, one guy on Saturday, and get a hotel room with a guy on Sunday. Thank you.

[Heather]

That's a great email. No, send that.

[Melissa]

Seriously? Yes.

[Burt]

I mean, and then when he gets. I don't know. I. I just think.

[Sunny]

Yeah.

[Burt]

I mean, take the money. Everybody thinks you should take the money. But don't complain if your work environment gets hostile or weird from now on, because as the administrative assistant, you have no control if you have four bosses and he gives you a hard time from now on because you rejected him. So make your job hell, and it's not a bonus.

[Melissa]

All right, Heather, we got to run. I would love to follow you up by either email or a call over the next couple of weeks and find out what you did, though.

[Heather (Caller)]

Okay.

[Melissa]

All right, Thanks a lot for calling.

[Heather (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

Good luck.

[MeTV Announcer (alternate)]

Bye.

[Caller Mario]

Bye.

[Spinquest Announcer]

The Bird Show.

[Lady Luck]

Hey, guys. Lady Luck here. Are you going on any road trips this summer? I know I'm going to be going on a bunch of road trips, and being that I'm going to be Passenger Princess, I love playing on spinquest.com. spinquest has all of my favorite slot games. Live blackjack, live craps. Head on over to Spinquest right now and get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Boyd. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Get it The Bird show.

[Heather]

Yeah, we need to get into this interview with John Mayer that he's had with Playboy magazine recently because there's a ton of controversy going on with it. And we're accustomed to John Mayer sort of talking about his relationships and getting into those. That's not anything new. He talks about Jessica Simpson and how he. She's wild in bed in this interview with Playboy magazine, saying she's like a drug. He couldn't get enough of her.

[Melissa]

Said she was what, Sexual napalm.

[Heather]

Sexual napalm.

[Melissa]

I don't even know what that means. Yeah, he's a songwriter, so it seems to be cool.

[Heather]

Yeah. He says drugs aren't good for you. And I bet I like him a lot and talks about her as a drug, but says really nice things about Jennifer Aniston. And he asked if he still loves Jennifer Aniston. He says yes, always out. Be sorry that I didn't. It didn't last. In some ways, I wish I could be with her, but I can't change the fact that I need to be 32. So maybe kind of a dig at the end, but he still is in love with Jennifer Aniston, but that's not like the controversial part. And later in the interview, they asked, do you throw. Do black women throw themselves at you? In a roundabout way. He calls his male parts a white supremacist. He compares them to a white supremacist, which leads into this whole racial comments that go on. And people are commenting on how he's a racist. In this interview, which is what I was getting to, people reacted to his answer and that he doesn't date black women. So they asked him the question saying that he doesn't date black women because he has white supremacist genitals. John said, someone asked me the other day, what does it feel like to have a hood pass? And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a blank pass.

[Melissa]

And that's, you know, what a hood passes. It's like if you're a white person and you're accepted by black people, it's a hood pass.

[Sunny]

Okay.

[Burt]

Like you're part of the hood.

[MeTV Announcer]

But he.

[Burt]

And then he said the N word pass.

[Heather]

He said the N word pass and use the full word. Like he didn't.

[Burt]

Yeah, we can't go around it.

[Heather]

I can't know.

[Burt]

I can't physically ever, ever say that.

[Melissa]

And he came out the next day, and he's apologizing left and right for using it. What did he say? That it's just such a. It's such a sensitive word that he should have known better.

[Heather]

He said, it's a shame that I did it because the point I was trying to make was that is the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it because I realized there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

[Melissa]

On one hand, I understand what John Mayer is trying to do, I think. And he's so quirky. It's very difficult to tell. And he's also so arrogant that it's very difficult to tell. Also is that he's going through this phase right now where he's going through 100% authenticity. He wants to say what he wants to say, and he just wants to be 100% truthful. So he's making all of these comments in different articles, and he's offending left and right. The truth is, you can't go your whole life with 100% authenticity. You have to have a filter and you have to have a governor on things you say. You are not allowed to say everything that's going through your mind.

[Burt]

You can't say the N word. Well, and the thing also with the N word, there are people that can say that so easily, and there are people that just, I mean, it's like a choking reflex for me to even. I can't. I can't use it. And so I just, you know, I'm a little skeptical of people, especially white people, because we've had the argument about black people using it. But for white people to have that roll off their tongue like that, I just think. I don't know. I just don't think that's cool at all. And I don't think an apology is going to make up for it.

[Heather]

Definitely not. And then he actually apologized at this concert in Nashville, but actually teared up during the apology. So I don't know if it was sincere or not. I haven't checked the video yet, but I am posting it online at q100atlanta.com Good morning, Q100.

[Jessica]

Hi, it's Paisley.

[Melissa]

Hey, Paisley.

[Jessica]

Hi. I just want to comment. I want to say hood pass. Don't use It. Because the majority of black people are not from the hood.

[Sunny]

Right?

[Jessica]

So, yeah. So we don't. We don't know that hood path would be an actual good saying.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it sounds like it's. It sounds offensive. Those two words together just sound offensive to me right now.

[Jessica]

Hood pass. I'm like, okay, that doesn't. If you tell me you have a hood pass, I don't know what that means, because me and the people I know are not from the hood. You say we're accepted. You know, we can hang out with black people. And, you know, I don't know. Hood is just way too much. Of course, the N word pass is not going to be accepted, because black people that I know don't consider themselves as N word.

[Melissa]

Now, hood pass, I've only heard a couple of times. I have black friends that told me that I get a white person pass, which has never been offensive to me. But hood pass.

[Heather]

So he's offended on two levels.

[Jessica]

You know what the real saying is? You're an exception.

[Melissa]

What do you mean?

[Jessica]

You're an exception. They're there. Either way it goes. You're an exception.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Jessica]

You're an exception. You. You. You. You can come through. You're an exception.

[Melissa]

And it's a compliment. It's a compliment, right?

[Jessica]

No, that's just the politically correct way to say it.

[Melissa]

Gotcha. All right. Thank you very much.

[Jessica]

Alrighty. Bye. Bye.

[Melissa]

Appreciate it. Here is Tim. Good morning, Tim. You're on Q100.

[Caller Tim]

Hey, what's going on, guys?

[Melissa]

What's up?

[Caller Tim]

I've never heard of the hood pass myself, but I have heard of a ghetto past.

[Sunny]

Mm.

[Caller Tim]

And it's basically, you know, the same thing that John Mayor was saying or whatever. And it's not. I'm not justifying it at all. But I've had, you know, friends of all races or whatever, and I've had white friends before in my past who have used that word, like with me or whatever. When we're talking, and it's been perfectly fine.

[Melissa]

You have to be. You have to be so close. Like this weekend, we got into this conversation because I was down in Miami with my friends Kenny and Dolvett. And for what we're talking about, it's important for me to say that they're both black, and we got into the N word conversation. They both said that we're all so tight that I could use the N word in referring to them. I could say that, but the word can't come out of my mouth. I just can't do it.

[Burt]

I can't say it.

[Caller Tim]

And I can understand that. I understand your point completely. But to most guys, or most black guys, I can promise you, if you don't think of yourself that way, then it doesn't offend you if people use it in a non offensive manner. You know, I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama, so I've been called that word a number of times. Not trying to be funny by white people before, you know, just growing up and remembering that, and that's when it's offensive. But if you have that specialized past, because it's a ghetto path, white person, white person, pass, whatever you want to call it, then it can be okay. Because I don't think of myself as an N word. So if somebody said it to me, you know, one of my black friends or one of my close white friends would say it to me. And I know that it's just being said, you know, as a term between homeboys and clean buddies, then it's fine with me. There's no problem.

[Burt]

Well, as a white person, I think it's irresponsible for a white person. Like, in your situation, Bird, if you said it, you're with your. You're with your pack, you're with your group of friends. John Mayer saying in an interview, it's more appropriate for, you know, a black one of a black artist to say, you know, and be asked about John Mayer. He said, you know what? He gets that pass, then it's not offensive. But for John Mayer, you know, of course, it's John Mayer arrogantly saying, well, you know what? Because I've got that pass. And then on top of that saying

[Heather]

that the N word, pass.

[Burt]

I think it's irresponsible for any white person to say that word.

[Melissa]

Hey, Mario, Good morning.

[Alana Myers]

What's up, guys?

[Caller Mario]

Love the show.

[Melissa]

Thank you.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Caller Mario]

I'm a black guy from Mississippi, so, you know, it's like a double double bad for me. But I love John Mayer. I grew up in private schools and all that, so I had a bunch of white friends and, you know, we would joke around a lot with race. You know, I would go to their house and they'd like, oh, we're great. The help's here. You know, and it was funny, you know, but I love John Mayer. But this is like, wow, you know, And I know when I get to work today, everybody's gonna be like, yo, so you're gonna sing any John Mayer songs today? And I'm like, I doubt it.

[Heather (Caller)]

Would you?

[Melissa]

Will you continue to call yourself a fan after that?

[Caller Mario]

I don't know. It would be tough because, I mean.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Would it help if you saw an apology from him that looked completely sincere?

[Caller Mario]

Probably, maybe. But, I mean, I don't know. I mean, because that word, I mean, it's very, very powerful, especially for people who. Who've, you know, seen some type of discrimination or issues around it. You know, me being from Mississippi, I was raised in, you know, a completely different type of family to where we were encouraged to be stronger and, you know, persevere through all of that, you know, because my parents went through it so bad and my grandparents. So, you know. But I'll tell you this much. Every time a white person has said that around me, there's been a fight, you know, it's not like something you would just look over lightly, you know.

[Melissa]

What exactly was the apology? Verbatim? What was his apology?

[Heather]

Verbatim?

[Jeff]

Did you hear that guy calling in our last caller, Mario? Hey, dude, you're on the radio right now. The whole time he was on with us.

[Melissa]

I know, because I'm on the radio, right?

[Heather]

There's actually two apologies. The first apology was for the racist remarks. He goes, it started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it's gotten out of hand, and I've created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player and a singer and a songwriter, not a shock jock. I don't have the stomach for it. And then he apologized for using the N word, saying. And it's such a shame that I did, because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I would be intellectualizing using it, because I realized that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

[Melissa]

You know what? The. Not. Not the core problem here, but one of the big problems for John Mayer now is that we have forgotten that he's one of the best musicians of our time. He's become so absorbed with celebrity and controversy and the celebrity of being a celebrity that you forget that he's a musician and one of the great ones.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Agreed.

[Burt]

Well, he's let you forget that. Like, one of the reasons he gets on my nerves is because of. I think he's let it all go to his head. I think he's a fantastic musician. Yes. His music is brilliant. I've never disputed that, but I just. He gets on my nerves because I try to intellectualize the word. Shut up. I mean, you're not an intellectual if you even use the word. So quit giving yourself so much damn credit.

[Jeff]

Stop talking. Play the guitar.

[Burt]

Yes, exactly.

[Spinquest Announcer]

You're on the Birch Show.

[Lady Luck]

Hey, guys. Lady luck here. Are you going on any road trips this summer? I know I'm going to be going on a bunch of road trips. And being that I'm going to be passenger Princess, I love playing on spinquest.com. spinquest has all of my favorite slot games. Live blackjack, live craps. Head on over to Spinquest right now and get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino, Boyd. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Listen, it's the Bird Show.

[Melissa]

Melissa, Wendy and Jessica. Jessica from Jessica Shops. Nobody knows.

[Jeff]

What's that? You almost called her Jessica Shops. Like those are names.

[MeTV Announcer (alternate)]

I wonder.

[Burt]

Some people really think, oh, my God, her last name is Shops. That is so neat.

[Melissa]

What a coincidence that she got into that industry. Right? Jessica does more shopping around this town than anybody I know, so she should be able to help you exactly pinpoint what a great present for your girlfriend or your wife is, and we'll get you off the hook here. I'm finding myself in the exact same place this year. I'm not gonna ask you guys for advice because I feel like if I do that without being on the voice disguiser, then it takes away from the credit if I take your advice. That's why I'm putting all these dudes on the voice disguiser. You know what I'm saying?

[Burt]

Yeah. Needs to be your idea.

[Melissa]

Yes. It has to be your idea as a guy. So none of these guys have requested being on the voice disguiser, but I'm gonna put them on Anyway. Good morning. Q100.

[Sunny]

Yeah, hey, this is Sunny.

[Sean]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Hey, Sonny. All right, so you just tell us what your situation is. You've been married, Are you married, how, for how long, and all that. And they should be able to tell you exactly what might be a great, appropriate Valentine's Day gift.

[Sunny]

First of all, thank you very much. This is like a community service thing for all the guys out there, so we really need it.

[Jeff]

Community service obligation.

[Melissa]

Serious.

[Sunny]

So I've been married 10 years. We have a wonderful relationship. I got three kids. But one thing I'm always lacking on is, like, gifts and surprises and thoughtfulness, you know? But we got three kids. Basically. What kind of happened to me is my wife kind of wanted to go to the Black Eyed Peas concert, and I think she subtly indicated me that'd be a nice kind of surprise gift for Valentine, sort Of. And I totally missed it. I never even remember the conversation, to be honest with you. And so when it kind of rolled around, she's like, oh, so any tickets or anything coming up? I was like, oh, no, not really. She's like, I thought you were gonna surprise me. The Black Eyed Peas tickets together. And so now I'm kind of. She's kind of bummed about it. But, you know, basically, I want to surprise her with something thoughtful and really, that'll kind of, you know, you know, warm her up again. She's a wonderful girl. She'll love me regardless. But I just want to do something good for her. You know what I mean?

[Burt]

Well, are the Blackuppies still in the Southeast or. They've moved on.

[Melissa]

That's what I was just thinking.

[Burt]

Because they did the first part of their tour is all in the Southeast. So the number of. The first thing I thought is that if that's what she specifically asked, then you could surprise her by actually taking her to the concert. Wherever they are now, if they're still in the area.

[Jeff]

Do a weekend away.

[Alana Myers]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And that way she gets out of town. She doesn't, you know, and the kids are taken care of, so she gets away, and she can relax. And then she gets. You know. And then you can mask it as if you purposely led her to believe you forgot the show here in Atlanta because you wanted to take her out of town for the show. Wherever it is on Valentine's.

[Heather (Caller)]

There it is.

[Melissa]

Man.

[Heather]

That's a great idea, Melissa.

[Sunny]

That is a great idea.

[Jeff]

You ready for.

[Burt]

That's only if they're still here.

[Jeff]

You ready for this?

[Sunny]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Saturday night, Birmingham.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Oh, my God.

[Burt]

This is done.

[Melissa]

This is done. Our work is done here.

[Sunny]

I can do this. This will work.

[Jeff]

And if that doesn't work, next Saturday night.

[Sunny]

Saturday night, Charlotte. Next Saturday?

[Spinquest Announcer (alternate)]

Yep.

[Jeff]

Next Saturday is Charlotte.

[Burt]

Let's do it this weekend.

[Jeff]

And if that doesn't work. March 20, Denver, Birmingham.

[Burt]

Saturday night, my friend.

[Sunny]

Hong Kong or Japan or something.

[Melissa]

All right, Sonny. So there you go, man.

[Heather (Caller)]

All right.

[Sunny]

Thank you so much, guys.

[Melissa]

That worked out great. We should just let it go now. We should actually end the segment.

[Burt]

I know, but be sure and let her know. Look, I purposely didn't get the Atlanta tickets, and I'm sorry that you had to feel like I neglected you, but I really wanted to surprise you.

[Melissa]

It's about effort. It's about effort.

[Burt]

That's right.

[Melissa]

Don't let the truth get in the way of a good lie on Valentine's Day.

[Jeff]

Melissa's very excited about this segment, I

[Melissa]

am Sex is on the line this weekend.

[Burt]

That's right. I feel like, you know, I've helped their marriage.

[Melissa]

We will call him Sean. And he is on the voice disguiser. Good morning.

[Sean]

Good morning.

[Melissa]

How are you?

[Sean]

I'm okay.

[Melissa]

You just tell us your situation, and with any luck at all, the women will be able to tell you what's a great Valentine's Day present for her.

[Sean]

Okay, well, see, I really don't know what to do because I've been talking to this girl for maybe, I don't know, three weeks or so, she doesn't live in town, and we actually have our first date on Valentine's Day. And so it's kind of a weird situation of what to do for that because I'm not, like, dating dating. We're just, like, you know, we've been talking for several weeks, and, you know, it's been really good. But, you know, we haven't even been on a date. So I'm not even sure what you should do in a situation like that

[Jeff]

are a couple of really high quality webcams, because as this relationship progresses and you get more intimate with yourself while you're talking to her, you can see everything really, really clearly.

[Melissa]

Jessica, you want to help this guy out? You have any ideas?

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Well, the first date is going to be on Valentine's Day, correct?

[Sunny]

Yes, that's correct.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

And so are you planning on, like, going out to dinner, or is that what you're asking? Are you asking, like, what's gonna happen when you actually take her out, or do you have no idea if you even want to take her out?

[Sean]

Well, no, we're taking her. I'm taking her out, and I'm going out to dinner. I've already got reservations on a nice restaurant.

[Heather (Caller)]

It's just, like, nice.

[Sean]

I'm not really sure, you know, what the standards are. Should I do anything else? Should I buy her something?

[Melissa]

You should definitely get her a couple of things from Victoria's Secret. No, no, no, no, no.

[Burt]

And rack the webcam in Victoria's Secret house date.

[Heather]

Come on.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

I don't know.

[Heather]

Definitely flowers.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Maybe flowers and a card. And that is enough because you don't want to freak her out. That would freak me out if I went on a date with someone after only three weeks and they got me, like, a gift. Even if it was a generic gift, like a gift card. That would just be a little weird. I would say maybe just a card, kind of. Maybe even a little humor in there. Nothing too serious, and maybe funny card,

[Burt]

but one rose Not a bunch.

[Heather]

Just get one rose.

[Burt]

Not a random rose with the card. Because you can get away with the one long stem rose. Because it's Valentine's Day. Because I do think she'd be disappointed if there was no flower involved in her Valentine's Day.

[Melissa]

Something a little special, but something that doesn't say that you're like, you know, going over the top on and change

[Jeff]

your relationship status on Facebook and print it out and bring it with you.

[Heather]

Oh, my God. Don't listen to Jeff.

[Jeff]

In a relationship.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Or put it in a frame.

[Jeff]

Yes, yes. Frame your Facebook status or Photoshop her in a picture with you. I can do this.

[Melissa]

Put that underneath the Victoria A Secret.

[Jeff]

Behind the webcam.

[Melissa]

Nice.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

And dress like Cupid. Dress like Cupid. To the restaurant. Dress like Cupid.

[Melissa]

Man, we are so on the money with these.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Why do we even have girls in here?

[Melissa]

Good morning, Q100.

[Sean]

Hey, what's up?

[Melissa]

You tell us, man, how long you've been going out with this girl? Are you married? No, no, no, no.

[Sean]

Not married. We've been dating for. I think it'll be a year next month. And I mean, things are pretty serious. And I'm just like, it'll be our first Valentine's Day, so I'm just kind of don't want to mess this one up.

[Melissa]

One year. Okay.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

One year. I think it's time for the. I think it's time for the photo book.

[Heather]

I was going to say a digital photo album, because you know those digital photo frames and then just load them up with yalls favorite pictures throughout the year.

[Burt]

Last year together.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Heather]

I think that's cute.

[Jeff]

That's the new photo book, Jess. It's not a photo album anymore. It's digital photo frames.

[Heather]

It's a digital photo frame.

[Melissa]

I like a photo book because we took a trip.

[Sean]

Like, we actually took a trip where we met up in Europe over the past summer.

[Heather]

Perfect.

[Burt]

But he doesn't have time to do the photo book, though.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Heather]

Digital photo frame. Because then you can load them straight from your computer onto the frame, and it still means something because you had to pick out the photo.

[Melissa]

Yeah, and I think here's the key, too. Here, dude. Is that you have to put the pictures in the frame. You can't just give her the album. All the pictures have to be in them because you have to. You know, women want effort, man.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Sean]

I should be too disappointed if I don't get, like, jewelry or something.

[Burt]

No, I know. I think because women like the effort as well as personalization, so I Do think this time I agree with the women that. With the digital photo frame, like you just have, you know, your. Was it whatever that you stick into the photo.

[Jeff]

The USB memory card.

[Burt]

The memory card.

[Sean]

Thank you.

[Burt]

And. And you. And you can have a card, a really sweet Valentine's Day card. So not the humor card this time. It has to be meaningful card. And in there, just talk about how much you've enjoyed being with her this first year and more to come, whatever. Depending on your seriousness. And then.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And a reflection. I think it's a great idea. A reflection of your year together.

[Heather (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Especially if they went on a trip. Yeah, I mean, that's perfect.

[Jeff]

And something from Victoria's Secret with a webcam wrapped inside.

[Sean]

Yep.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Delivered.

[Burt]

You know, actually just bring the laptop and show how you've already installed the webcam in her room.

[Melissa]

Actually put the pictures of all the pictures that you've been taking of her that she didn't know about the last and put them in the album.

[Jeff]

Yeah. If some of the pictures from your trip of hell, trip to Europe are in the style of Aaron Andrews, then you do not want to put those in the frame.

[Burt]

And look, honey, here's the peephole section.

[Jeff]

Oh. Oh, this one's not you. This woman was in the hall. The room across the hall. But I thought she was hot.

[Melissa]

Here is Jeremy. Good morning.

[Sunny]

Single.

[Melissa]

Now you are on Q100 yellow.

[Alana Myers]

Hello.

[Melissa]

Go for it.

[Sean]

Hey.

[Sunny]

Me and my girlfriend have probably been together about two years. We've been hitting this up and down on and off patch for about seven, eight months. So it's like a handful of crap.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Sunny]

I want to show her, you know, how things used to be, that I'm still here and whatnot. And I did have a surprise where I was going to bring her flowers to her work. I texted a friend to find out where she worked and a friend told her.

[Caller Tim]

Oh.

[Caller Mario]

Oh.

[Melissa]

Why would she do that? Why would she flower block you like that?

[Jeff]

Because she doesn't want her friend to date that guy.

[Burt]

How long have you been together?

[Sunny]

About two years. I mean.

[Burt]

And you didn't know where she worked?

[Heather]

That's what I was going to ask.

[Sunny]

Well, she just got a new job. She got a new job at a psychiatrist office.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Sunny]

And she's only been working there for about a month or so.

[Jeff]

That's crazy.

[Burt]

Anyway.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Okay.

[Burt]

Because I still am confused why you didn't know where she were.

[Heather]

But.

[Burt]

Okay, so the friend screwed up the flower thing.

[Melissa]

And the flower thing is. Am I right to say the flowers is standard? Like that's not allowed to be the only gift on Valentine's Day. Right.

[Burt]

But if it's omitted, it's noticed if you've been together a while.

[Melissa]

Okay, I think outside of flowers, they're dating two years on and off now. But you are serious about her and you dig her. So, Jess, you don't want to give her any pictures because not all of them are going to be up for good times.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Yeah, the picture idea is probably out the lingerie, probably not the webcams.

[Jeff]

You should bring lingerie to her work.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

I don't know. Maybe it's time for jewelry at this

[Heather]

point to make up.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Yeah, nothing major, but just like a token, maybe something.

[Melissa]

What's token jewelry mean?

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Well, nothing that's too expensive. Like, you don't have to go crazy and buy like, you know, thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, but like a nice bracelet, you know, maybe a Sephora gift card. Now, I don't know. Do you feel comfortable giving jewelry at this point, or is it on and off where that might be kind of strange?

[Sunny]

Um, I think it might be. But I mean, she's not the kind of person that really, she. She likes. She likes the thought more than, you know, how much money I spend and how flashy it is.

[Heather]

You know, we can get away or something in the mountains, do an activity together. I mean, just to bring your relationship back together.

[Sunny]

Yeah, I mean, because.

[Burt]

I mean, my thought is because you can't get into specifics about what your issues in your relationship are. But I do think if you want to prove to her that you're still there, that somehow not addressing it. But I think the gift should have something to do with make not making up for. I don't know how to put it, but somehow personalizing it where you just reassure her or you're. You're reinforcing how much you love her. And only you know what that would be so like a weekend getaway. Only you know what where that getaway would be that would mean something to her. You know what I'm saying?

[Melissa]

Together time together. Can't really go wrong there.

[Heather]

You really can't.

[Melissa]

Get one of those little motels on Beaufort highway with the vacancy sign.

[Burt]

If you get in a fight, then you don't have to pay for the whole house.

[Sunny]

That's right.

[Melissa]

I mean, you're probably. What about next to a serial killer? But it's cool.

[Jeff]

What about a license plate frame with both of your names on it, airbrushed like in pink and purple with a

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

fade from the beach in a situation like this, you know, like he was saying, she appreciates the sentiment also. So if you're. Whatever gift you decide to give, the delivery is going to be very important here. So, for example, if you decide to give her a bracelet, then you need to present it, like, in a jewelry box that she can keep beyond the gift. I mean, she'll have the gift, but then she can use it for other things. If you're going to take her away somewhere, it's the presentation, like, how you do it. Maybe you could even get. We ruled out photos, but maybe if there's one picture that you both like, you could get two copies. Give her one, and then also show her that you have the same one because you like this memory.

[Jeff]

So what about one of those best, best friend bracelet, necklace things where each person gets half a heart?

[Burt]

Yeah, or, you know, and it could be something like Jessica saying, not Jeff, but that has to do with the beginning of your relationship that, you know, kind of to remind each other why you're together in the first place. Especially if you're fighting right now.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Exactly. So if you're gonna give her flowers, don't just have them delivered with the vase that the florist gives. Go find something that's special and present it and say, you know, I found this vase because it goes with your kitchen, and you can use it so that she continues to think about you beyond the gift and that you are thoughtful and you put more into it than just making a call.

[Melissa]

Can you also purchase a star for her from the star registry?

[Heather]

I think that's cute.

[Burt]

Nothing says I love you. And to look up at the sky

[Melissa]

and see your own.

[Burt]

And for 49.95.

[Jessica]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

What if your wife got that for you?

[Melissa]

Stacey knows better than to get me a star for Valentine's Day.

[Heather]

I mean, I would take anything at this point. A star sounds fantastic.

[Jeff]

I'm getting Wendy a star, but I'm going to name it single on Valentine's Day. That's going to be the name of the star.

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

See, that's the constellation.

[Sean]

Yes.

[Jeff]

I'll get a whole bunch of stars.

[Burt]

I mean, if you had. If you had a gift certificate hanging on your wall, if it was, what star would it be that might be named after you or somebody in your family?

[Jeff]

What?

[Burt]

Don't you have one?

[Melissa]

Leslie got me one.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Melissa]

She used to be the boss. Did you get me one?

[Burt]

No.

[Melissa]

Are you texting me right now? Okay.

[Jeff]

Oh, crap. That almost got uncomfortable.

[Burt]

I was wrong with that. Bert, you don't remember Leslie Fram.

[Jeff]

Got you one.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

For what?

[Melissa]

I don't know. And like two days beforehand we were on the air ripping on the star registry and I don't think she heard it. And she got. I think it was a birthday gift.

[Alana Myers]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Or something like that. Yeah.

[Jeff]

So there's a star up there named Bert.

[Sunny]

Bert.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Have you not saved the. Anyway, I remember seeing it.

[Melissa]

It shines bright. It's a little itty bitty star.

[Jeff]

Really.

[Melissa]

It's the smallest star in the sky, but it's up there.

[Burt]

But like, you know, I do want to tell guys, like, for instance, one of the things I got Katie that I was was proud to get, like, you reminded me of it with the vase thing. Like, Katie and I actually met at Bitterball at Vision, believe it or not. And when Vision closed, I and Jeff helped me with this, got one of the champagne buckets and that's what I gave her. Her flowers in one year is in that champagne bucket because it symbolized where we first met.

[Jeff]

And I think just into tying the Q100 thing, I'm pretty sure it's the one that Andy went threw up in after drinking the bubbles.

[Burt]

That's right. Because it personalized the whole thing so

[Melissa]

much meaning we could have done this for hours. So we'll do it again tomorrow morning. You're going to be in here tomorrow morning anyway, right?

[Jessica (Gift advice)]

Yeah, I'm going to be in here tomorrow morning and I have a lot more gift ideas and sales and deals and you know, where you can actually kind of go out and buy these things if you're looking for something.

[Melissa]

Okay, cool. Because I know a lot of guys are scrambling right now and they're still are clueless on what to do. So we'll do that again tomorrow morning.

[Spinquest Announcer]

This is the bird show.

[Spinquest Announcer (alternate)]

Happy birthday, America. It's time to celebrate and play your favorite Las Vegas casino games by American owned spinquest.com what's better than fireworks and American pie? Hitting a blackjack in the palm of your hand and you won't lose your fingers. Over a thousand games including slots and live dealers and $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 spinquest.com buy American players.

[Spinquest Announcer]

For American players, Spin Quest is a free to play social casino Boyd. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more detail.