Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, June 9 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, June 9 [Vault]

Date: June 9, 2026
Podcast Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others

Episode Overview

This episode encapsulates the signature Bert Show mix of humor, relatability, and candid real talk by bouncing through audience drama, personal stories, and group discussions. The focus ranges from dating insecurities, body image and eating disorders, shortcuts for daily life, and social dilemmas among friends. Calls from listeners, expert guests, and in-studio intern stories fuel the show’s dynamic blend of laughs, reflection, and advice.

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Major Segments & Key Moments

1. The "Hottie vs. Four" Dating Dilemma (00:30–13:02)

• Theme: Honest dating expectations, self-image, and the reality-vs.-perception mismatch.
• Summary: The hosts unpack the story of Jesse, a self-described "four" on the attractiveness scale, who went on a date with a woman he deemed a "15." After mutual lukewarm vibes, they opted to just be friends. The team debates whether such straightforward guy honesty is believable and discuss appearance-based insecurities and dating standards.
  • Photo assessments of Jesse and his date lead to a humorous discussion about self-image and makeovers.
  • Jesse’s values (Christian, substance over looks, criminal justice degree, wants honesty and faith in a partner) are highlighted, with some gentle ribbing from the hosts.

Notable Quotes

• “At the end of the date you’re with hottie… how do you begin the conversation that, look, it seems we’re better as friends?”
  — Male Host (02:09)
• “He’s trying to find a good girl, he doesn’t care about looks, anything else.”
  — Female Co-host (02:54)
• “You’re not the four that you say that you are…. You got this image thing going on that you’re not a good [looking person]—you’re a decent looking dude, man.”
  — Male Host (06:20)
• “It’s about the relationship, man.”
  — Jesse (Guest) (09:19)

Timestamps

• [00:30] Jesse's story is introduced.
• [03:08] Jesse shares his priorities in a partner.
• [06:20] Hosts encourage Jesse's self-image.
• [09:19] Jesse asserts he cares about personality.

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2. Cosmo’s Life Shortcuts & Listener Tips (14:33–22:30)

• Theme: Time-saving hacks and the realities of busy mornings, with the crew dissecting “sneaky shortcuts” from Cosmopolitan magazine.
• Summary: The team reviews and riffs on practical shortcuts—sizing pants by your neck, doing speed-read hacks for work docs, and transitioning outfits from day to night. Listener calls share hacks about buying shoes and self-tanning.
  • Particularly entertaining is a live demonstration and widespread skepticism/enthusiasm over sizing pants using your neck’s circumference.
  • Discussion veers into sodium in foods and instant home décor tricks.

Notable Quotes

• “If you hold up a pair of pants or a skirt… and wrap it around your neck, how tight or loose it is indicates about how tight or loose it would be around your midsection.”
  — Female Host (15:26)
• “You could kind of see how many people tonight are gonna take their pants off and then go, ‘wait a second, does this really work?’”
  — Male Co-host (16:07)
• “If you’re tired of trying on shoes, you can hold up the shoe to your forearm -- it should fit your size.”
  — Jennifer (Caller) (21:21)
• “There’s nothing more annoying than having to go in and out of the dressing room over and over…”
  — Male Host (22:26)

Timestamps

• [14:33] Busy morning life and shortcuts intro.
• [15:26] Size pants using the neck trick.
• [17:53] A caller vouches for the neck trick.
• [21:21] Tip on sizing shoes via your forearm.

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3. Body Image & Eating Disorders: Lauren’s Story (23:36–35:17)

• Theme: Honest discussion about eating disorders and body image, with an expert perspective.
• Summary: Intern Lauren’s struggle with self-image and food is revisited after she recently took an on-air quiz. Allison Cross, an eating disorder specialist, gives insight into the spectrum of eating disorders, red flags, and the importance of seeking help. Multiple callers offer their experiences, particularly “Monty,” who confronts relapsed disordered eating and lack of spousal support.
  • The idea that “Ed” (eating disorder) acts like a manipulative friend/boyfriend is introduced.
  • Emphasis is placed on not judging solely by appearances and the prevalence of these issues at all ages.

Notable Quotes

• “With an eating disorder, it's an attempt to diagnose differences of how we act out with food and with our body. It's just an idea, it's just an attempt.”
  — Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist) (25:47)
• “If you’re not at peace with food... it is the deadliest mental illness you can possibly have.”
  — Allison Cross (27:52)
• “If you have somebody in your family that isn't supporting what you know is going on, do you just go anyway?... You are worthy to go in and get some more help.”
  — Allison Cross (32:59)
• “I want them to know that there's help available, that this is absolutely preventable.”
  — Allison Cross (35:17)

Timestamps

• [23:36] Introduction to Lauren’s food/body image journey.
• [25:47] Allison Cross explains eating disorders’ spectrum.
• [28:31] Signs to look for in friends/family.
• [32:59] Advice for those lacking support at home.

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4. Friendship Dilemmas: The Annoying Friend On a Girls’ Trip (36:32–45:18)

• Theme: Friend group politics, negative energy, and how to set boundaries.
• Summary: Reshma, a caller, shares her dread about a group trip because of “that one girl” who disrupts the group by overdrinking and being emotionally needy. The hosts and callers debate whether she should confront the friend, avoid the trip, or risk the group’s fun for one person.
  • Suggestions range from honest confrontation to simply not letting one person ruin the experience. The show draws parallels to relatable group trip nightmares, including references to pop culture (Jersey Shore’s Snooki).
  • The conversation highlights the challenge of group loyalty and the difficulty in excluding someone who might spiral emotionally if left out.

Notable Quotes

• "There is a special kind of person who can live in that environment of self importance... and have no idea that they're that person."
  — Male Co-host (38:18)
• “Don’t let this one girl ruin your whole weekend… you’re gonna be very, very jealous [of the stories] if you don’t go.”
  — Male Host (44:53)
• “If you appreciate, you know, if you want to actually help her, she might appreciate some honest truth.”
  — Female Host (43:19)

Timestamps

• [36:32] Reshma introduces her dilemma.
• [38:18] Hosts discuss group dynamics and “the annoying friend.”
• [41:03] Discussion of the impact of one person on a group's enjoyment.
• [44:53] Hosts urge Reshma not to miss out because of this one friend.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On body/friendship:
  "He's not a bad looking kid, right? ... You’re not the four that you say that you are." – Male Host (06:20)
• On speed reading shortcuts:
  "Speed. Read through your speed reading paper." – Female Co-host (17:48)
• On the spectrum of eating disorders:
  “It is the deadliest mental illness that you can possibly have.” – Allison Cross (27:52)
• On group trips and bad vibes:
  “There's really no way to escape.” – Male Host (41:48)

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Conclusion

This Bert Show episode skillfully balances humor and seriousness, bouncing from dating anxieties and group trip dilemmas to genuine advice on daily shortcuts and deeper issues of body image and mental health. The chemistry of the cast and the willingness of both listeners and guests to share personal stories makes for a vibrant and engaging listen—a classic Bert Show blend of comedy and authenticity.

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For more details on eating disorders:

• Ridgeview Institute: ridgeviewinstitute.com
• Project Authentic Beauty: bodybeautybravery.com

---

Transcript

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Carvana User]

Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl. Love ya.

[Female Host]

So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

[Male Host]

You're on the burch. Inconsequential that Jeff really doesn't believe Jesse's story here that he's a four and the girl that he goes out with is like a 15. He was. He asks her out, she says yes. He's shocked by that. They go out and Jesse returns from the date and he's like, you know what? She's not everything I thought she was going to be.

[Male Co-host]

He didn't return from the date. At the date, he said, let's just be friends. Let's just say shut it down.

[Female Host]

And you didn't think that it was capable for a guy to do that.

[Male Co-host]

I just think it seemed odd that it happened at that first meeting at the fondue house, House of cheese melted

[Jesse (Guest)]

or whatever it was.

[Male Host]

Like, at the very end of the whole thing, he just sort of says, you know, he's very honest.

[Jesse (Guest)]

And.

[Male Host]

Yeah, Jesse, how does that conversation go? Because I think this may be a first in the history of men. At the end of the date, you're with hottie. And how do you begin the conversation? That, look, it certainly seems to me that we're better as friends than we would be something else.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Well, basically, it just starts as, so, what do you think about me? And then she asked the same thing, and I just, I was just honest with her and we had the same interest in each other. So.

[Male Co-host]

So.

[Male Host]

So she was sort of lukewarm about the whole thing. You were sensing that and you're like. You were lukewarm also. So you said, let's just be friends then.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

All right.

[Jesse (Guest)]

You know, I mean, there's. There's really no point in trying to waste any more time. Okay.

[Female Co-host]

He's trying to find a good girl. He doesn't care about looks, anything else.

[Male Host]

That's what he says. You're a good Christian guy. The looks things not important to you. The sex thing is not important to you. And that's not what you're interested in. You're interested in a woman with more substance, right?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Exactly.

[Male Host]

Okay. That's so hard to believe. Jeff$mm. Which part? Which part?

[Male Co-host]

I. I just find it. There are a couple places where this story just seems unbelievable to me. So usually in my BSO meter, if you've got one thing where I believe, because I've learned to believe things that I never thought would be believable listening to people who call this show. But the first time when he says, do you want to study? And then she responds with, do you want to take me on a date? That's kind of unbelievable, but cool. It could happen, right?

[Female Host]

It's possible.

[Male Co-host]

And then they go to the.

[Male Host]

Here's why I believe that part of the story is right. Just before you go on, is that he sent us a picture of the 15, and he sent us a picture of himself. And in looking at her, I don't think there's that much of a discrepancy between the two of them. Right. So the fact that he was shocked that she said, let's go out on a date doesn't surprise me that much because she's not that much better looking of a woman than he is a dude.

[Male Co-host]

Right.

[Female Host]

He Just perceived it that way.

[Male Host]

You think?

[Male Co-host]

Allow me to propose this hypothesized thing.

[Male Host]

Allow myself to hypothesize.

[Male Co-host]

I am shocked. And then just adding to the unbelievability in my mind of the whole thing. Did I say that word really slow?

[Reshma (Caller)]

Yes.

[Male Host]

Yeah. I think you might have had a minor stroke.

[Male Co-host]

The fact that they are on the same scale and she might not be the 15 that we were expecting shocked me somewhat that she would have the confidence to say, you want to ask me on a date, because generally speaking,

[Female Co-host]

maybe she's who she is.

[Male Co-host]

And then they go to the cheese place and they have their dinner and everything, and then at the end of that, they have a conversation about the future of the relationship. It just seems very. Arranged marriage in Mumbai.

[Male Host]

It's an anomaly, for sure. But if the story's true, then the story is true.

[Male Co-host]

So you're an anomaly.

[Male Host]

I showed you guys her picture yesterday, right?

[Female Host]

Right. Oh, I didn't see this. I'm assuming.

[Lauren (Intern)]

Okay.

[Male Host]

This is who Jesse thought was a 15.

[Female Host]

Awesome.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

She's a beautiful girl.

[Male Co-host]

And that is who he thought was Jesse for a minute.

[Female Host]

Oh, that's why you were shocked at first. You were like, that's Jesse.

[Male Host]

Well, Tracy just. I mean, he sent that picture, and Tracy didn't want to call him back and go, are you sure this is you? Because you look really feminine.

[Male Co-host]

You look like a woman.

[Female Host]

She has, like, long brown hair. She has glasses on. Cute, pretty smile.

[Male Host]

Yeah, she's cute, you know? So then he sent a picture of himself.

[Jesse (Guest)]

And you're how old right now? I'm 20.

[Male Host]

20 years old right now.

[Male Co-host]

How old were you last year?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Changed my name last year. Well, I was 19 for part of the year and 20 for the other part.

[Female Co-host]

Okay.

[Male Host]

When do you turn 21?

[Jesse (Guest)]

I turned 21 June 12th.

[Male Host]

And I'm assuming you're not a drinker.

[Jesse (Guest)]

No, not like really a drinker.

[Male Host]

Okay. And this is the picture of Jesse that will go up on our website if you want to take a look at him.

[Female Co-host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

All right.

[Male Host]

First, I want to tell you that you're not the four that you say that you are.

[Female Host]

You're definitely not the four.

[Male Host]

Yeah, I mean, Wendy, if she got a hold of you over a weekend, she could boosh you out so badly. You'd be the hottest dude in the club, man.

[Female Co-host]

I'll get you some hair gel.

[Male Co-host]

I would actually be. I would be entertained to see that. Have Wendy give him a booshover.

[Female Co-host]

Like a makeover.

[Male Co-host]

That would be fun.

[Female Host]

Jesse, would you be up for that, sure.

[Male Co-host]

You can go through Wendy's bouch o matic.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Okay.

[Male Host]

He's not a bad looking kid, right? Yeah. So you got to get past that, dude. You got this image thing going on that you're not a good. You're not a four, okay. You're not. You're a decent looking dude, man.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Well, thank you.

[Male Co-host]

What would you rank them, Bert?

[Male Host]

I'd say you're six plus, man.

[Male Co-host]

Seven.

[Male Host]

Six plus. Close to a seven. Seven is average, right?

[Male Co-host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Male Host]

Six plus seven. You're not a four, dude.

[Male Co-host]

Six, seven, seven, five.

[Female Host]

Wait till Wendy gets a hold of him.

[Female Co-host]

Yeah, I know.

[Female Host]

Put him in some designer jeans, get

[Female Co-host]

you an airbrush tan.

[Female Host]

We talking like the Jersey Shore?

[Male Host]

So what is Jesse all about? You said you're, you're a Christian. You. You go to church every Sunday?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Oh, yeah, that's guaranteed.

[Male Host]

Tell us more about. Because we got a whole bunch of emails and calls from women that are like, that's the kind of guy I'm looking for.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Okay, well, what do you guys want to know? I mean, I'm currently enrolled in college. I'm working on my degree in criminal justice. Tried to get into the military earlier in my life and that didn't work out due to some medical reasons. So I figured I'd do the next best thing and be a police officer.

[Female Host]

Cool.

[Jesse (Guest)]

I don't know. I pretty much like everything. There's nothing that I won't at least try to do. I like all kinds of movies. I don't know, you guys ask me questions. I'll tell you what you want to know.

[Male Host]

What's a typical Friday or Saturday night like for you?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Well, for the past. Since February of last year, typical Friday night is sitting at home watching tv.

[Male Host]

We don't want that for you.

[Female Co-host]

No. What do you look for in a girl? Like, what are you looking for?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Honesty is very most important thing. Followed closely by a Christian background. Christian beliefs.

[Male Co-host]

Do you like large boobs or small?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Honestly, I don't really have a preference.

[Male Host]

Boobs are irrelevant. You are an anomaly.

[Male Co-host]

You're an ass man, huh?

[Jesse (Guest)]

No, not really.

[Female Host]

See, he's a nice, respectful boy.

[Male Host]

He thinks a little deeper than you do. Okay, not about the TNA for him, damn.

[Jesse (Guest)]

It's about the relationship, man.

[Female Co-host]

See, personality.

[Female Host]

Just focus on that. Maybe you'd have a better relationship.

[Male Host]

You're not really selling yourself in this huge way that I was hoping that you were gonna sell, man. I don't feel like I know anything else about you.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Well, what do you want to know? I mean, I don't really know how to sell myself. You help me out, guys.

[Male Host]

You ever had your heart broken?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Yes. Yes.

[Male Host]

Tell us about it.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Oh, that was horrible.

[Female Co-host]

What happened?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Started going out with this really nice girl who claimed she was a Christian. And she just was really nice at the very beginning. Really liked her. And as time progressed, she slowly started to change until she ended up cheating on me with her ex.

[Male Host]

So do you sometimes get labeled as the too nice guy? Like girls look at you and they put you right into the friend zone.

[Jesse (Guest)]

It's happened before. I try to stay out of the friend zone if possible, but it usually ends up there.

[Male Host]

Mm hmm. I got this email that I gotta read later on from a woman that insists that you shouldn't date Christian guys.

[Female Host]

What?

[Female Co-host]

Really?

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Why is that?

[Male Host]

I won't have time to cover it right now. She's got a whole list of reasons.

[Male Co-host]

Said that when I forwarded you yesterday.

[Male Host]

Yeah, we all got it.

[Male Co-host]

That's crazy.

[Male Host]

She's had a bad time with Christian guys and says do not do it.

[Female Host]

So she's after the Jews.

[Male Host]

I'm not sure.

[Female Host]

Wow.

[Male Host]

But I'll read it later on.

[Female Host]

I think Jesse seems like a sweet guy. I mean, he just seems. He seems like. I don't want to use the word simple, but he just seems like he's like cool to get along in any sort of situation and ready to roll.

[Male Co-host]

Well, you're single and have kind of pedophilia tendencies these days.

[Female Host]

I do not. Cougar, first of all, you cannot be a cougar until you're 40.

[Male Host]

That's not true. Yes, it is.

[Female Host]

I'm a puma if that's the case. But I wouldn't date anybody. 20.

[Male Co-host]

Jesse, you think you can handle a little hobby?

[Female Host]

Jesse is far too young for me.

[Male Co-host]

She's a good Christian girl.

[Male Host]

You couldn't keep up with Jen hobby? I couldn't have this.

[Male Co-host]

She has.

[Female Co-host]

She has the scary situation.

[Male Host]

You'd be so scared.

[Male Co-host]

She keeps commandments.

[Jesse (Guest)]

I don't think Jen Holly could keep up with me.

[Male Host]

Oh,

[Female Host]

I think you're right. I think you're right. Jesse.

[Male Host]

Hey, Beth, help me out here.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Hey guys, listen, we have questions for him. I'm married, so I'm currently. I'm not looking for anyone today. But I have friends that are. And I mean, they want to know, how tall is he? Does he. Is he into sports? I mean, does he have a favorite team? Those are the things that they want to know.

[Male Co-host]

The Saints.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

What?

[Female Co-host]

Jesse, do you like sports?

[Monty (Caller)]

Jesse?

[Female Co-host]

No. Jesse, do you like sports?

[Jesse (Guest)]

Do I like sports. Yes. For the most part. I'm not a big sports activist, aside from mountain biking and skateboarding and things like that. I like to try to keep active as possible.

[Male Host]

I think we're gonna have to do. We'll have him write a profile and we'll put it up online.

[Female Host]

Cool.

[Female Co-host]

Like one of those online dating profiles.

[Male Host]

Yeah, there you go.

[Female Co-host]

Okay.

[Male Host]

Maybe you can take one. Would you help us with this, Wendy? Like, the next time you're on eharmony, will you just print off one of those applications that I know that you spend a lot of time on?

[Male Co-host]

Let me tell you, Wendy's not an eharmony girl. She's a Craigslist lady.

[Female Host]

Of course, Casual encounters.

[Male Host]

So we'll send that to you, and then we'll put it up there with your picture. And if there are women that still want to go out with you, man, then we'll set this thing up for you, dude.

[Jesse (Guest)]

Okay, sounds great.

[Male Host]

All right, Jesse, have a good weekend watching tv and we'll talk to you next week, man.

[Jesse (Guest)]

All right, you too.

[Male Host]

Okay, bye.

[Monty (Caller)]

Bye.

[Male Host]

Yeah, this email that I got from this virtual listener said, do not date Christian men no matter what.

[Female Host]

That's weird.

[Male Host]

Christian guys. I'll read the whole thing later. Christian guys are the pickiest, harshest judges of women I've ever known. As a Christian woman, let me tell you more. My theory is that these men are waiting for this angel that they have in their head. She says, stay away from Christian guys.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Wow.

[Male Host]

Read it to you guys in a little bit. Listen, it's the vert show.

[Advertisement Voice]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's, no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit forhers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert Forhers.com Bert Wales by hers is not available in all 50 states with Gobi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borheart.com this is the bird Show.

[Female Host]

Everybody's got a really packed schedule, so anytime we can find a shortcut, it's a good thing because I think everybody's just got really, really busy days all the time. I feel like that. Do you guys feel like that?

[Male Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Oh, yeah.

[Female Co-host]

Time is precious.

[Female Host]

And I always. I always talk to my friends about this too. I could sleep another probably 45 minutes if I didn't have to get up and, like, do my hair and put on makeup and all that kind of stuff. Or, like, you know, some of my girlfriends wish they could work out before work in the morning, but women have to, like, do the blow drying and the getting ready and everything else. Like, it's just.

[Female Co-host]

There's just more to do the same with shopping. Like, you don't want to have to try everything on in the store because you don't only have a limited amount of time to spend.

[Female Host]

Exactly. So Cosmo has this list of sneaky shortcuts that simplify your life.

[Female Co-host]

Oh, cool.

[Female Host]

So there's a bunch of them on this list. There's about 13 of them, I think.

[Female Co-host]

Some.

[Female Host]

Some of them are. Some are good and some are bad. You tell me what you think.

[Female Co-host]

Okay.

[Female Host]

If you think these would actually work for you. They say you have to know if something fits without having to try it on. Kind of what you were talking about with shopping. They say that the circumference of a person's neck is roughly half the width of his or her waist. So if you hold up a pair of pants or a skirt, you can hook your fingers inside of the waistband and pull it and then wrap it around your neck. So how tight or loose it is indicates about how tight or loose it would be around your midsection.

[Female Co-host]

I think that is fascinating.

[Male Host]

Really. Do that one more time.

[Female Host]

Okay. So if you held up some pants, right, and you wrap them around your neck, and if it fits that way, because it's about half, then it would probably fit around your waist.

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Female Co-host]

So that saves a bunch of time.

[Female Host]

So you could kind of see how

[Male Co-host]

many people tonight are gonna take their pants off and then go, wait a second.

[Female Host]

Does this really work?

[Female Co-host]

What do you mean tonight? They're doing in the office right now?

[Male Host]

Okay.

[Male Co-host]

One of those pants off offices for women.

[Female Host]

They say if your boss calls them a last minute meeting and you need to look more pulled together than you that day, that you should smooth your hair down with a brush or comb and pull it back with a headband or into a low ponytail because that looks like put together smooth and professional. And I always forget about a ponytail looking professional. Like I always think that like your hair has to be down and whatever else but messy. Yeah. Sleek back ponytail. They say that's the way to go. And also you can brush on some bronzer and some nude lip gloss if you need to pull it together really fast and look good for a meeting that you weren't expecting.

[Female Co-host]

I think that's a great idea.

[Female Host]

Okay. Also, this is the one I don't really agree with. It says speed. Read a ton of work related reports. Okay. This is their Cosmo shortcut. It says read only the opening sentences and then the closing sentences of each paragraph that you have to get through. This is like cheating on study time.

[Male Co-host]

Speed, though.

[Male Host]

But I've had, I had. Somebody gave me this advice in college also and said, do the same thing. And they suggested that teachers do the same thing when they're reading your papers. So a roommate of mine tested the theory one time and in his paper he just wrote Mickey Mouse loves Donald Duck in the middle of the paper somewhere, thinking that the professor wouldn't catch it. Sure enough, he got it. He nailed it.

[Female Host]

Yeah. Oh, he got busted.

[Male Host]

He got busted for it. Yeah.

[Female Host]

Okay. But he was trying to test out this theory. But yeah, that is like a speed reading thing. And they're saying you can speed read a ton of work related topics if you read the first sentence and the last sentence of each paragraph instead of everything in between.

[Female Co-host]

That'll actually be a good paper to write something about. Like just see if it work.

[Male Host]

Speed. Read through your speed reading paper.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

Hey, Jennifer, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Good morning.

[Male Host]

Hey.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

So I totally was in the dressing room the other day over the weekend and I was trying on a pair of jeans and my husband was there. And so I went outside the dressing room and asked him, you know, what do you think? Or whatever? And they were kind of tight. So I'm like, oh, I don't know. Well, there was a girl in there, she was like, well, you know how to try on a pair of jeans without having to actually try them on?

[Monty (Caller)]

Right?

[Jennifer (Caller)]

And I said no. And she told me that trick about doing it around your neck, it totally worked.

[Female Host]

It does.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

And I was floored because I had never heard that before, and I thought, oh, my God, this is so great. I don't ever have to try on pants anymore.

[Female Host]

That sounds pretty cool.

[Male Host]

So you take the jeans and the waist, and you put it around your neck.

[Female Host]

Yes.

[Male Host]

And if there's any room there whatsoever, is this.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Their buttons. Like, you button them up as if you're gonna.

[Female Host]

You know, if they're on, pull it

[Jennifer (Caller)]

taut, and you take one end, like, where your hip would be, and then you take the other end for your other hip, and you wrap it around your neck. And if each hip touches, you know, where your thumbs are, then it works.

[Male Co-host]

It will fit perfectly.

[Female Host]

If it's because it says the circumference of a person's neck is roughly half the width of his or her waist.

[Male Host]

That's great.

[Female Host]

Yeah. Isn't that wild?

[Male Host]

Save you a ton of time.

[Reshma (Caller)]

That's awesome.

[Female Host]

We all want to fit into our skinny jeans by the weekend. And the shortcut, they say, is to cut out the salt, because anything with salt in it loaded with sodium. Sodium makes you retain water. And so if you cut out anything like thelike. The. Whatever they say here, like potato chips, any of the processed foods, like canned soups or frozen meals, I know a lot of single girls are constantly, like, warming up, you know, Lean Cuisines or whatever it is, those have tons of sodium in it. So it's gonna make you retain water and actually not be able to fit into your skinny jeans. So they say you can drop some water weight quickly and be able to zip your skinny jeans by Saturday night. But as soon as you return to your usual meal plan, just realize that that weight's gonna come back on again.

[Male Co-host]

Right.

[Female Co-host]

That's one I'd have a problem with.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

I like salt ramen.

[Male Host]

You ever check the ingredients on, like, ramen noodles?

[Male Co-host]

Salt. Salt water, and then a little bit of chicken broth.

[Male Host]

That's it. There's like 1400 milligrams of salt.

[Male Co-host]

And the chicken broth is salty, but

[Female Host]

it tastes so good. They say you can change the vibe of your living space without spending a lot of time or money, especially if you live in a small place. And I was taught this years ago from a friend who is an interior designer. But it's to hang really large mirrors and really large mirrors in places where you'll see them, and they reflect other portions of a bigger side of the room or the house or the apartment because it creates the illusion of more Space so big mirrors, or instead of buying a lot of artwork, one huge piece of artwork is much better off than getting a whole bunch of different things. So one big piece of artwork or one huge mirror will help you. Let's see. Other sneaky shortcuts. They say to go from daytime office to evening party. Ready. Make sure you dress in layers.

[Female Co-host]

This is what I need.

[Female Host]

Layer it all up. And then like, if you had like, like, say, like a blazer on over a shirt and some slacks or whatever at work, then you can take the blazer off and they say to dress it up with, like, a bright colored scarf or to cruise through, like, the drugstore and get, like, a new pair of, like, really cheapy hoop earrings or whatever you can. That that'll help you dress it up for nighttime if you don't have a chance to go home in between and going out.

[Male Host]

Monty has a trick for shoes.

[Female Host]

Oh, good.

[Male Host]

Hey, Monty.

[Monty (Caller)]

Hey, Good morning.

[Male Host]

How are you?

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Hi, guys.

[Male Host]

What's happening?

[Jennifer (Caller)]

How are you guys?

[Male Host]

Good, good. Thank you.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Well, I was on the shoes. If you're tired of trying on shoes, you can hold up the shoe to your forearm from your wrist to your elbow. It should fit your size.

[Female Co-host]

That's cool.

[Male Host]

So you never have to put them on your feet. You just put them right up to your forearm.

[Male Co-host]

Do you think just memorizing the size of your chew.

[Jennifer (Caller)]

Whoa. Yeah.

[Male Host]

It's different sometimes.

[Female Host]

Different sometimes.

[Male Host]

Different designers, different sizes.

[Male Co-host]

Is that that different?

[Female Host]

Sometimes and a half.

[Male Host]

Yeah. Half could change everything. Yeah.

[Female Host]

One of the last little sneaky shortcuts to simplify your life. They say if you're applying self tanner, once you've put it on, put on the hair dryer on a low setting for like, five to 10 minutes. It'll dry really quickly and you can get dressed faster.

[Female Co-host]

This is something I always do. I love it. Even if you have the can spray that you can spray on really quick, take the blow dryer immediately because it's like that. Like, you'll be tan instant because otherwise

[Female Host]

you have to walk around the house nude for a little while while the self tanner sets in and dries. You want to get it on your towels? You have to, like, stand there and wait.

[Male Host]

So blow dry your face, blow dry your bod, anything.

[Female Host]

It's awesome.

[Male Host]

Nice. I love the. The. The shoe one and the waist one.

[Female Host]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

There's nothing more annoying than having to go in and out of the dressing room over and over and over again.

[Lauren (Intern)]

It's the worst.

[Male Host]

This is the Birch show.

[Advertisement Voice]

Okay. Can we talk about how confusing Weight loss has become like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.comburt to get personalized, affordable care that gets you, that's F O R h e r s.com Bert borhers.com Bert Weightlist by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go use the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with govy, clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borheart.com it's the vert show.

[Male Host]

It was a couple of days ago that we had intern Lauren on. And the more we talked to Lauren, the more we started to get concerned that, man, she's got like this quote, unquote unhealthy relationship with food and I

[Female Host]

think very perfectly PC.

[Male Host]

I think Jen was sort of, you know, saw the red flags in a lot of different things that Lauren had said over the last couple of months.

[Female Host]

Yeah, our interns contribute on the air and participate with us and so they send us topics every week of what's going on in their life. And they participate just like show members do. And it helps them sort of determine what's going to be compelling content. And a lot of the things that Lauren sent had to be workout or food or very image consciousness related. And it seemed like it all stemmed from some sort of insecurities going on there. So we asked her to come on and share and she was very open to do that.

[Male Host]

She was very impressive.

[Female Host]

Thank you for doing that.

[Lauren (Intern)]

No problem.

[Female Host]

And took the quiz on the air and that kind of thing. And so what we determined after that was that there's definitely something there. We don't know how far along or what. It definitely is with Lauren, but she's admitted that she's got some insecurities when it comes to her body image and sort of some obsessions with working out.

[Male Host]

Since we did that with you and you took that quiz, and I don't really recommend that as like the last word for anything. Going to the Internet for anything. But it was the first one we found and the first one we gave you, and it did indicate that there's some stuff going on there. Have you had any, any, any chance to like, think over what we were talking about?

[Lauren (Intern)]

I mean, I definitely gave a lot of thought to it, but I think. I don't know the state that I'm in now. I think I don't really have that much of a problem. I agree that I totally had a disorder back then, but now I feel like I've come. I don't know, I get. I guess I got more smart with it. I don't know. I've, like, read more about the mishaps you could have with an eating disorder. So I don't, I don't know. I guess I have a slight one now, but I don't think it's as much as back then.

[Male Host]

Hey, Allison. Allison Cross is here and she works with women and girls with eating disorders at Ridgeview Institute. Is there any. Are there different levels of eating disorders or if you have a slight eating disorder, then you have a eating disorder, right?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Absolutely. There are lots of levels to it. And I mean, Lauren, you're in good company with 15 million other women out there. It's kind of like the social atmosphere of our culture for women just to be concerned with outer BD and everything. But with an eating disorder, it's an attempt to diagnose differences of how we act out with food and with our body. And it's just an idea, it's just an attempt. There's a lot of women out there that don't have a full blown eating disorder yet. They still have very serious issues to deal with. They have a lot of similar obsessions, which is how I got into doing what I do with Project Authentic Beauty.

[Male Host]

What is the difference? I mean, what are the definite red flags between you having a problem or a unhealthy relationship with food and you just having a straight up eating disorder?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Well, I think a lot of it has to do with just the obsessions that you have in your daily life and how much of that is taking your life energy? Like how much time are you putting into this? Are you thinking about what you're going to eat for Your next meal, all day long.

[Male Host]

It feels like to me, like when we talk to the women about this, this is all they talk, this is all any woman thinks about.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Well, duh. I mean, look at our media and how it just, it all points to outer beauty. I mean, that's what little girls pick up on. Even my three, well, she's four now, but my three year old last year wasn't seeing a lot of women of color that were being identified as beautiful. And at three years old, she told me, mommy, people with brown skin aren't pretty. And it horrified me because that's not something that we teach in our home. So thank God for Princess Tiana that came out and now it's reversed that. But that was a teachable moment for us to go in and say, no, honey, and for my husband especially to go and identify all diversity of beauty all around us.

[Male Host]

I guess what I'm trying to get at is if there are women listening right now and they know that they have this unhealthy relationship with food, which sounds like 90% of women have, what is the difference between I have to see somebody for my eating disorder or I have to see somebody just for my unhealthy relationship with food?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Well, I think if you feel like you have an issue, then definitely go see somebody. If you are not at peace with food, I mean, normally if you like have a cavity, you go to your dentist, right? You don't think you're going to take extra calcium and it's going to fix itself. No brainer. You go and you talk to somebody about it, because it is the deadliest mental illness that you can possibly have. And if you think about that, there's, you know, the diagnostic manual, it's so huge. And there's all kinds of issues that you can have in there, yet the eating disorder is the most deadly thing that you can have. And so if you even think that there's an issue, it's worth it to go out there and to see somebody.

[Female Co-host]

What are the signs and symptoms of somebody you may know who have an eating disorder? What are the signs you look for to get them help?

[Female Host]

Other than collarbones, right? Other than what? Because some collarbones that are popping out. Because to me, that's always a clear sign.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

You can't really.

[Female Host]

Because that's so unnatural.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Right.

[Female Host]

As soon as you see that, it's like, oh, something's going on there.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Yeah. Yet people Photoshop that because they feel like that sells magazines to see collarbones like that. Signs and symptoms. Well, you cannot judge A person by how they look.

[Female Host]

Right, right.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

So, you know, I think. And this is a great example, you know, you, Lauren, you were really open and honest about what was going on with you. And, you know, maybe in your own way, that was a way of asking for help, because here we are in a very public way, talking about your lifestyle and your obsessions. That's one thing to look for if they're willing to talk about it. If they avoid sitting down and having meals with you, if you feel like they're extra body conscious.

[Female Host]

I had a friend who used to always say she had just eaten and talk about how much she had eaten that day before she would come and hang out with the rest of us that were, like, going to. This was in college. We would all be going to Chili's or whatever, like, our big night out, and we were all gonna gorge and have a bunch of food and have. And she would always talk about, oh, my gosh, this is how much I already ate today. And so she would order nothing.

[Male Co-host]

She doesn't have to order a Chili's.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Ed is so crafty. That's what we call him at Ridgeview. It's Ed eating disorder. Yeah. He lies, he manipulates, and, you know, it's actually Ed. I wanted to help you guys understand it just a little bit more that he's like a best friend in a lot of ways. So it's really, really hard to give him up. He's like the boyfriend that everyone tells you not to date, but yet you kind of protect the relationship anyway. And a lot of times he helps you deal with really uncomfortable feelings and emotions, and a lot of times, that's the way you express yourself.

[Female Host]

Wow.

[Male Host]

Here is Ashley. Good morning. You want to be on the voice disguiser? And you are?

[Monty (Caller)]

Hi. How are you?

[Male Host]

Good, thank you.

[Monty (Caller)]

Good. My question is, I've suffered from. I'm 28, and I've suffered this from about 11 years. And I was actually at Ridgeview when I was in high school. Great program. They're great there. But my dilemma now is, after, gosh, almost like eight years of lying dormant, it's come back, and I'm married, and I have two children now. And I've tried to discuss this with my husband, but he doesn't think it's an issue, and he won't go to the support meeting, and he doesn't believe in psychologists and going and telling people about our problems and how talking about our marriage and our children and our life will help me. So my question. I've actually gone to the EDA meetings over at Ridgeview.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Good.

[Monty (Caller)]

But I feel old. I'm 28 and there's all these 17 year olds now. I feel like I have nothing in common. But my question to you is, what else can I do because we want to have another baby. It's affecting all of that stuff because I'm not gaining any weight. What else can I do other than see a psychologist?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Well, I wonder how much are you acting out? Like you said, it's come back. I'm wondering how much of your life, I mean, really tell the truth. What's going on at home?

[Monty (Caller)]

I work out every day. I run about four miles a day. I cook for everybody. And then when it comes to time to eat, I gotta do the dishes, I gotta clean up the kitchen. And then next thing you know, dinner's over and I'm done. I don't eat my kids and my 5 year old eats more than I do.

[Female Host]

But it's a symptom of something else. I think is what Alison is saying is that it's a symptom of. I don't know, maybe you're not happy in your marriage.

[Male Host]

Maybe you have a controlling husband.

[Female Host]

I don't know, maybe he likes to live on the surface.

[Jesse (Guest)]

I don't know.

[Female Host]

I don't know where they got that from.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Well, I think that you have your answer. It's okay to know that it's come back because it is an upward spiral. And this is how you've dealt with things in the past and Ed helped you. And now it feels like maybe he. He's helping you again, but you know better and that's why you're calling today.

[Male Host]

What does she do, though? If you have somebody in your family that isn't supporting what you know is, is going on, do you just go anyway? Do you hide it from him that she's getting treatment? What does she do?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Not at all. Not at all. You are worthy to go in and to get some more help. Seeing somebody once a week, it doesn't sound like that's going to be enough for you right now. You need to go and you need to get the help that you need to get because you are worthy of that time and that space. And you know, your husband may or may not come along and join you in that, but at least you will have a team of people behind you, both professional and other sufferers that can stand with you and. And help you ask for the help that you need and to be assertive.

[Female Host]

Does your husband compliment your weight now?

[Monty (Caller)]

He thinks I'm Beautiful. I mean, he's my husband. He's never going to say anything bad. He's never ever said anything bad. But he doesn't, you know, he's like, you're thin, you look great. He's like, you need to gain some weight. You're getting too skinny. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I hear it. Yeah. But then I look down and like,

[Jennifer (Caller)]

oh, God,

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

yeah, he's talking to your Ed. And that's why this is not going to help. That's why you need something more right now.

[Male Host]

Some what?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Something more.

[Male Host]

Something more.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Male Host]

She said that when she goes to the meetings, there's Nothing except like 17 and 8. Your 18 year old is there.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

There's a lot of different ages there. And I encourage you to go anyway. Go anyway because you belong. You are a part of that crowd. You don't need to fit into some kind of stereotype. This is no longer a high school fad. You know, we see women who are empty nesters, who are entering into retirement, developing eating disorders for the first time.

[Female Host]

Wow, Lauren, you're awfully quiet.

[Lauren (Intern)]

Oh, I was just gonna say I do agree with her because if somebody tells you that you're really thin, it feeds your ego. So of course you're gonna be like, oh, wow, I should keep doing what I do and not, you know, not eat and then gain weight. So then he'll be like, oh, wow, you put a few pounds on. Like it really feeds your ego when someone compliments you. So of course you're gonna be like, oh, I should keep doing what I do.

[Male Host]

But it doesn't sound like he's complimenting her. Says, you're really thin. You could use a couple extras.

[Lauren (Intern)]

Someone told me, oh, you're really thin. Then that fed my ego.

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

Like, wow, you didn't hear the second

[Male Host]

part of it that you need to put some pounds on?

[Lauren (Intern)]

No, I was like, no, I don't need to put pounds on thin. So that's fine.

[Male Host]

Where can people find more information on ridgy ridgeviewinstitute.com and what's the one thing that before you get out of here today, you want everybody to know about eating disorders?

[Allison Cross (Eating Disorder Specialist)]

I want them to know that there's help available, that this is absolutely preventable, which is what we do through Project Authentic Beauty. And you can learn more about that on bodybeautybravery.com okay, thank you.

[Male Host]

Here. Bird show.

[Advertisement Voice]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightlifts by hers is not available in all 50 states with Gobi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s Get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhurst.com the Birch show so intern

[Male Host]

Reshma is not exactly looking forward to her weekend this weekend.

[Reshma (Caller)]

Now I'm going away with a bunch of friends this weekend to up, like to Blue Ridge. And I was really excited because, yeah, I was really excited because I haven't taken like a road trip with like, just a bunch of girls for a weekend in forever. So she invited me and like sent out like a message and I started looking at everyone that was going and there's this girl that's going with us that I just do not even want to see. Like, really? Yeah, it's one of those people where you, every time you see her, she hasn't even done anything to me or even started. But every time I see her, I just get this like, feeling of the pit of my stomach.

[Female Host]

Okay, this has to be from somewhere though, right? Like, this doesn't come out of thin air.

[Reshma (Caller)]

I mean, it's not even. I don't think it's anything. She's one of our, like, in our group of friends, but she's not.

[Female Co-host]

How long?

[Reshma (Caller)]

Yeah, how long have I known her? Yeah, almost a year.

[Female Host]

Okay.

[Reshma (Caller)]

Almost a year. Yeah. And I see her all the time. She's just one of those people that tries really hard to be friends with everyone and like, be a part of our Group, which we always welcome her and invite her, but she'll take it like too far. Like we'll go out at night and she will get so drunk that we'll spend the entire night taking care of her. And then we can't say anything to her cause we know she'll get emotional and then just start like talking about it. And the next day she'll wake up and act like nothing happened. Really nothing happened. She's like, oh, that was so much fun, blah, blah. And we're like, we had the worst night because you were here.

[Female Host]

What else annoys you about her other than the fact that she, she's a little heavy handed on the drinks whenever we go out.

[Reshma (Caller)]

It's everything. Every time she starts talking or saying something, I just want to look at her and be like, are you still talking, Jeff?

[Female Host]

Do you have anybody like that in your life?

[Male Co-host]

You know what?

[Female Co-host]

Well, Jen, thanks for asking.

[Male Co-host]

Yeah, no, you don't know anybody like that.

[Female Co-host]

Come on.

[Female Host]

Who talks too much and you can't stand every time you see them.

[Male Co-host]

I like everybody who's in my world. There is a special kind of person who can live in that environment of self importance and have no idea that they're that person.

[Reshma (Caller)]

She is that person.

[Male Co-host]

And that in itself makes me mad to the point where any interaction with that person is annoying. It could be a. I could be in traffic and at a red light that's just turning green and I look over one car and there's somebody and there's that person in the car next to me. Hypothetically, should there be a person like that in my life and that person's in the car next to me. As soon as I see him, I'm like. Like they haven't even spoken to me. They might not even look that look in my direction. But that is a special kind of annoying that the person who exists is only in their own mind and it's.

[Female Host]

And it's only from an insecurity, right? Like she's insecure that she's not as close with the rest of the group of friends as everybody else is. She wants in, right? Like she's desperate to get on the inner circle, but she's not. So she over acts or is like, I don't know, probably.

[Reshma (Caller)]

It's like it's not even with us though. It's with other people because there's like a big group of us. But like with our immediate group of friends is where she does it. But everyone else I talk to, she's the exact same. But everyone Else besides our group of friends has completely X her out. So it's almost like we're the leftover. That we're the only ones that are to be like, too nice to say no because we know she says no. She's like, she'll go into one of those, like, oh, I have nothing to do and my life's horrible, blah, blah, blah.

[Female Co-host]

It's a Tony downer.

[Reshma (Caller)]

Yeah. So it's come to the point where, like, I'm considering not going this weekend, even though I want to go so bad just because.

[Female Host]

How many girls are going?

[Reshma (Caller)]

7.

[Male Co-host]

Is it a constant thing or an alcohol fueled thing?

[Reshma (Caller)]

Both.

[Male Co-host]

Is it worse with alcohol?

[Reshma (Caller)]

It's like exponentially worse with alcohol. But she loves her alcohol. Loves, loves her.

[Male Co-host]

Maybe you should start loving her alcohol too. You can just get comfortably known.

[Female Host]

When are you gonna make the decision,

[Reshma (Caller)]

like whether you go or today? I have to decide today because we're gonna. We were gonna leave tonight, but now we're leaving tomorrow morning.

[Female Host]

Well, don't let this one girl ruin your whole weekend. If there's seven girls there, is she that annoying? That like.

[Reshma (Caller)]

Yes.

[Female Host]

Oh, like she'll be like the focal annoyance of the whole weekend. Like you can't enjoy the other six girls or the other five girls and you can have. Can't have a good time because she's gonna be there yipping right now.

[Reshma (Caller)]

I think her annoyingness and the enjoyment of the other five girls is like a 60, 40. Like it will be a little bit more fun, but she's that annoying.

[Male Co-host]

If. If you have. Again, coming from planet hypothetical.

[Female Host]

Oh, right.

[Male Co-host]

If you have somebody.

[Female Host]

If you have somebody in your life that talks too much and drives you crazy every time you ever see them.

[Male Co-host]

If there is hypothetically. If that person hypothetically exists and you're in that.

[Male Host]

What if that person sits right next to you in a studio?

[Male Co-host]

If you have that person in your world and you're with a group of half a dozen people, it is enough to ruin it. It'll destroy. Really think about it. Think of your trip that you're taking down to the Super Bowl. What's that? Five guys?

[Male Host]

Yes.

[Male Co-host]

If one of those guys was the person in your world who drove you nuts, never stopped talking. Everything was about them, made every. What is one of them? That person?

[Male Host]

No, not on this trip.

[Male Co-host]

But like, that person exists. That will be enough to make you wonder if you want to spend. I mean, you guys drop a couple grand going to the Super Bowl.

[Male Host]

Agreed. Right.

[Male Co-host]

You're going to wonder, do I want to invest this Kind of money to share a hotel room with this clown.

[Male Host]

And you're doing everything as a group and there's really no way to escape.

[Reshma (Caller)]

And it's really like a relaxing weekend. So it's not like we're going out and having fun. It's like we're all gonna be in like, my friend's parents cabin the entire time together, like, enjoying each other's company.

[Female Host]

Yeah. So when everybody else is sharing stories, she's gonna always have something to contribute

[Reshma (Caller)]

and bring it back to her. Or she'll be like, really awkwardly silent for like 20 minutes. And then you'll be like, what's wrong? And then you have to go like, cheer up. Be like, what's going on?

[Female Host]

How's it going?

[Reshma (Caller)]

What can we do to make you feel better?

[Female Host]

No. Get rid of her.

[Reshma (Caller)]

Well, we're the only people, and we feel like if we get rid of her and like, cut her out of like, our final group, she. He's just gonna go in this, like, downward spiral, high maintenance girl do this. I'm like, cringing thinking about it.

[Male Host]

Hey, Robbie. Good morning. You're part of the Burt Show. Hi.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Good morning, guys. How are y' all this morning?

[Male Host]

Great, thank you.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Good. I think this girl needs to look at it from a different point of view besides not being able to talk to her. Picture themselves at a bar and this girl, the same girl she's talking about, is getting ready to get in a car to drive off. And if she is drunk, would she say something?

[Jesse (Guest)]

She needs a picture.

[Robbie (Caller)]

The same thing. If y' all are real close friends, you should be able to go to her as a group of friends and say, look, this is, you know, we're having issues, yada, yada, yada, you know, as friends. Because you wouldn't let her drive off from a bar drinking, now, would you?

[Male Host]

I'm not sure what your point is. Yeah, you got me a little confused.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Like, she's. She's talking about how it, you know, ignoring. She is when she gets drunk and they're scared to say something because they're going to hurt her feelings and they don't want to listen to her whine.

[Female Host]

He's just saying it's gonna help her.

[Monty (Caller)]

Right?

[Female Host]

I mean, if you appreciate, you know, if you want to actually help her, she might appreciate some honest truth.

[Male Co-host]

People like that.

[Female Host]

That was what he was trying to say. Like, just like, she would appreciate it if you stopped her from driving. She might appreciate it if you tell her, hey, you're annoying when you drink.

[Male Host]

Oh, no, she'd make such a dramatic scene out of something like that.

[Reshma (Caller)]

She's kind of the type person where she would act like we were all attacking her, like it was a giant intervention, and we were all going to her and being like. Like, even if we were just like, oh, you got a little tipsy last night, she'd be like, I didn't know. I don't know why you guys are all attacking me and all this is going on. And bring it to her. She'd take it to, like, another level.

[Male Co-host]

That's what happened with Snooki on the second episode of Jersey Shore is, remember, she got drunk on the first night only cause she was nervous around the new roommates. And then the next day, everybody's kind of looking at her like, oh, my God, who is this freak? And she explained that, look, I just. I drank because I was uncomfortable.

[Male Host]

So you need to take this person to a bar so she gets knocked out by some dude is what I'm hearing Jeff say. If we're following the Jersey Shore storyline,

[Female Host]

Snooki plan is that she gets punched in the face.

[Male Host]

Hey, Cody. Good morning.

[Robbie (Caller)]

Good morning. How you doing this morning?

[Male Host]

Okay, sir. How are you?

[Robbie (Caller)]

Outstanding.

[Jesse (Guest)]

I got a feeling that. That 411 woman from yesterday, I got a feeling she would be that woman in our group.

[Male Co-host]

She was the 411 woman.

[Male Host]

Yeah.

[Female Host]

Remember, she's from American Idol.

[Female Co-host]

She talked a whole bunch.

[Male Co-host]

Oh, yes.

[Female Host]

She's that girl in her group of friends.

[Male Co-host]

Oh, you're right. You know why I don't remember that? Because I blocked it out.

[Male Host]

It was so good luck. So you're going no matter what. It's just how well you handle this whole thing.

[Reshma (Caller)]

It's like 70, 30. If I'm going.

[Male Host]

Oh, you should go. Don't let one girl ruin the whole. Just go for it.

[Reshma (Caller)]

I know, I know.

[Male Host]

Because, you know, they're gonna come back with stories on the weekend that really make the weekend seem way better than it really was. And you're gonna be very, very jealous.

[Reshma (Caller)]

Yeah. And I do care for her. I mean, I do want to help her, so I don't know. I'll figure it out.

[Male Host]

Go for it. You say don't go, Chen.

[Female Host]

I say we gotta figure out a way to get her not to go and not ruin the whole weekend for everybody.

[Male Co-host]

Maybe we could pay Melissa 100 bucks to go over to her house and cough on her, breathe on her.

[Male Host]

The bird show.