Host (possibly Burt) (1:48)

We finally found a topic Jen's passionate about.

Jen (1:51)

Jen achieved more excitement there than our listener has in five years.

Host (possibly Burt) (1:57)

So other women were calling in saying they had the same problem beyond sex.

Jen (2:02)

Hey, it's not my fault. We talked to Brian first.

Host (possibly Burt) (2:07)

Oh, okay, that's a cat of the movie.

Jen (2:09)

But we all told him he was good, didn't we?

Host (possibly Burt) (2:11)

Didn't we all say like, hey, good job, Brian. Way to get it done. Melissa. Another lie today for me, that's like five.

Jen (2:17)

Yes, I know.

Host (possibly Burt) (2:18)

Some other women were calling in yesterday saying, yeah, same problem with my man. I've been faking it. And I got as A sidebar. If you've been faking it, it's your problem. Now the problem is yours. Because he might have been bad in the beginning, you should have told him that or somehow figured it out. If you've been faking it all these years, if he's still giving you the same thing now as he was back then, it's your fault.

Jen (2:35)

Yeah, I agree. There's responsibility. If you're not being honest with your partner, then it's your fault.

Host (possibly Burt) (2:39)

Right.

Jen (2:39)

And our advice yesterday was to say that she was getting older and her body was changing, so her preferences were changing to get him to coach him along the way.

Host (possibly Burt) (2:47)

How many guys in Atlanta heard that yesterday? I wish there was some kind of count. All of them.

Melissa (2:52)

A lot of them.

Jen (2:52)

Honey, I'm a lot older these days. My body's changing. Body's changing.

Host (possibly Burt) (2:56)

You just had your 23rd birthday two weeks ago.

Jen (2:59)

I'm a different person.

Host (possibly Burt) (3:04)

So. And we have said on the show before that at least some of the women in this room would estimate about 2 in 10 guys are really good in bed. And statistics say that most women think about half guys are getting better, about 50%. So this dude was listening yesterday, and he shoots off an email to us. And I don't know what trigger we hit with him yesterday. I don't know if he just got out of a relationship. I don't know if he's not feeling appreciated, but prepare to take off.

Jen (3:30)

Oh, no.

Host (possibly Burt) (3:32)

Dear Burt Show, I'm so sick of women complaining about their men saying they don't do this well enough or that well enough, and they don't make love the right way. Ladies, you want to improve the sex in your life? Take a look in the mirror.

Melissa (3:49)

Oh, boy.

Host (possibly Burt) (3:49)

You may be the problem. That man you're criticizing for not being good in bed or spending enough quality time with you is out working hard and putting a roof over your head, not to mention food on the table. So when he comes home, I dare women to try this. Number one. When he comes home and asks you how your day was, take a deep breath. And for once, don't start complaining and tell him about the terrible day you had and then bitch about this and that. Tell him your day was great. Tell him you appreciate everything he does for you. Tell him to sit down and watch what he wants on television and say that you don't want him to move. You'll get him anything he needs. We are so tired of coming home from a hard day of work and listening to you complain. How about being in a good Mood for a change.

Jen (4:42)

If all women are sitting at home waiting for you to come home.

Host (possibly Burt) (4:44)

For more

Jen (4:46)

women that don't work, number

Host (possibly Burt) (4:48)

two, either cook or call out for whatever his favorite meal is. Number three, most importantly, tell him you want to go to bed early. You have something special planned. Every guy has their absolute favorite thing to do in bed. And just for once, don't make him beg for it. Don't complain. Give him that one special thing, whatever it is. Like there is no tomorrow. If he wants. I want to. I have to edit myself here. Hold on.

Jen (5:19)

Oh, okay.

Host (possibly Burt) (5:20)

I just wanted. I just wanted to make sure that he really was saying what he's saying here. If he wants you to do it in the backyard or to dress up like a naughty schoolgirl or whatever, do it. Number four, repeat one, two, and three a couple of times a week. That's all you need to do to radically improve your life and his. You won't need a marriage counselor. Your husband will give you everything you want. Just try it for a week or two and prepare to be amazed someone's

Jen (5:47)

not happy in their relationship. I would like to talk to him and get to the root of this. It's his. It's his. Well, I think. Yeah, hold on.

Host (possibly Burt) (5:54)

Please stop. Because Megan agrees.

Jen (5:55)

Oh, okay.

Host (possibly Burt) (5:57)

Good morning. You are thankfully part of the Burt show.

Melissa (6:01)

Melissa's favorite color.

Host (possibly Burt) (6:02)

I agree.

Jen (6:03)

Collar of the day.

Host (possibly Burt) (6:03)

You agree with what this guy's saying?

Melissa (6:05)

Yeah. Well, I'm married, and I take care of my husband, and he takes care of me. And if you're not happy in your relationship, then get out of it. I'm one of those people, though, that don't like to hear you about your problems when you can clearly fix them. If your man is not doing what he's supposed to do, talk to him there. I mean, the best thing in a relationship is communication. So if he's not doing something that you don't like, then talk to him, tell him what he's not doing, and then that way you can. You guys can fix it together. I mean, I've had that talk with my husband when we were dating. There are things that I don't like, and there's things that I do like. And now we're in a healthy, happy marriage.

Jen (6:46)

I mean, I agree with communication, absolutely, but that's not what his email said.

Host (possibly Burt) (6:50)

Right.

Jen (6:50)

You know, he's saying no.

Melissa (6:53)

Okay. And I. I know what I forget. You said that he. This is in the 1950s. You know, women aren't waiting at home. But I don't think he's saying that women should be waiting at home. I think it's just the fact that, you know, when you get home or when I get home, you know, don't. Don't complain. And, you know, my husband doesn't want to hear me complain all the time. So, you know, it's just things that you should do, what he's saying you should do. And I agree with him. I disagree. Well, okay.

Jen (7:25)

All right.

Melissa (7:26)

I mean, I think you should take care of your husband, and if you don't like it, then, you know, get out of the relationship or take care of your man or your wife or, you know, whatever relationship you're in.

Jen (7:35)

Well, the 1950s come. It was a joke, because his email did sound like, when I get home from my hard day at work, don't approach me, da, da, da. Like with Jen, I don't think I know a woman that's sitting at home waiting when their husband or partners come home. But, I mean. But everything she's saying, I mean, I don't see anything wrong with what she's saying, because she's saying, mutually conversation, mutually taken care of, mutually making efforts.

Host (possibly Burt) (7:56)

That's not what this.

Jen (7:56)

But that's not what his email saying. Well, he does say at the end of it, if you do all of this, then your husband will take care of you. I'd like him to expand upon what those things are rather than just paying the bills, because you can buy a house and pay the bills and still not take care of your wife. This is the dude. What was that guy's name that was on with us? What was that guy? Remember?

Host (possibly Burt) (8:17)

The guy who wrote the book? He wrote a book.

Melissa (8:20)

This is what he was saying verbatim. This is exactly his.

Jen (8:24)

But the problem we had with the listener was that he didn't know how to make her achieve the big O, you know? So isn't that what this all stemmed from? So his email. I mean, I get what it started

Host (possibly Burt) (8:34)

with him complaining about women complaining about their men in bed.

Jen (8:37)

Okay. What started that whole conversation was a woman who said, you know what? He does not know what to do in order to make me. Me reach that. That point. And we blamed her for not communicating.

Host (possibly Burt) (8:47)

That was her fault. Hey, Lynn, you're part of the Burt Show. Hi.

Melissa (8:50)

Hey. How are y'? All?

Host (possibly Burt) (8:51)

Good. Yourself?

Melissa (8:52)

Hey. Well, I was just gonna call and comment that I see both sides of the situation, because in my relationship, it's been about three years, and I don't know if y' all have read that book. It's called the love languages.

Jen (9:03)

Yep.

Melissa (9:04)

Yeah. Everybody has a different love language. And for the first two years of our relationship, even though we were happy in the bedroom, it was just bored. It was just boring. You know, it wasn't like, it was bad. It was just the same thing all the time. And I. And I was like, what is wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why aren't you into me? Why aren't you doing anything different? I would try the kissing. I would try everything in the world. And it wasn't until finally we bought that dang book.

Jen (9:28)

And did he read it?

Melissa (9:29)

Yeah, I read all of it. People have different love languages. I realized that his love language, quote, unquote, is visual. He's all about visual. Visual stimulation, where I am more about emotional stimulation. So when I realize that I have to dress up or if I want his attention to do something out of the norm for him, it's visual. So I come walking down in a little outfit. I don't care if he's watching the, you know, Super Bowl. Done. We're upstairs.

Host (possibly Burt) (9:55)

Jen, you seem to have a little experience with this book. Do you endorse it?

Jen (9:58)

I think it's a great book. If you both read it. Yeah. And I think. I think that. I mean, it's funny and everything, but the problem is in a lot of relationships, and I see where a lot of women are hesitant is because sometimes it is such. Your ego is so exposed when it comes to this conversation. You know, if you're not happy or he's not happy. Because it's not just men being bad. Women could be bad too. Is that when you approach that conversation, you both have to be open to the conversation or you have the same fight over and over again. Because if everybody thinks I'm doing right and I'm doing right, then you're not gonna get that. I don't know, you're not gonna be able to achieve what you wanna achieve if you're not both open to realizing, let's stop what we've been doing and start over again.

Host (possibly Burt) (10:42)

It is difficult to get out of that. Someone has to win and somebody has to lose mentality sometimes, you know, it's like we're all working on the same cause here and neither one of us are going anywhere, so we gotta figure this out.

Jen (10:51)

Well, and like, what she was saying about the five love languages. It is really good to learn what. And I talk to my girlfriends about this all the time. It is really good to learn what your partner's languages are like.

Host (possibly Burt) (11:01)

Are there guys that Are other than the visual thing.

Jen (11:04)

Well, I'm not sure where she was coming up with the visual part. Maybe it's what they learned from reading that book. But there's five different languages. It's quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of encouragement or encouraging words, and giving gifts, and not necessarily big, lavish, expensive gifts, but when you give something to someone else, whether that is you make them, you know, you buy them their favorite breakfast or something like that, Giving gifts is the fifth one. And so, so usually they say in the book that people have like a majority of two things that they like to do to express it. So that's also how you receive it. But if your partner isn't the same way, they're expressing it to you in physical touch. Right, but you're maybe not a physical touch person. You're an acts of service person. And they never do anything around the house. And so you're feeling unloved because they're not giving you your own love language back. So it's kind of. I don't know. And if you start to pay attention to that, you can learn what your partner's languages are or, you know, I mean, even your friends, like you can, you can figure out what their languages are. If it's somebody that's always getting you a little card or a little gift or this or that or whatever, that's one of their languages. So in some ways you have to reciprocate in that. In their way so that they read it in their way, so you learn to understand what they're doing rather than expecting them to do what you do. And if it's like your wife is complaining because she doesn't see you enough and we don't get any time together, we never get a chance to hang out, you're always working, blah, blah, blah. Well, her love language might be quality time.

Host (possibly Burt) (12:31)

Time.

Jen (12:32)

Like it doesn't matter what you do together. She just wants one on one time with you.

Host (possibly Burt) (12:35)

This guy would agree that her love language has to adjust to his love language. That's what the email sounds like. Yeah, she can't have her own in the back.

Jen (12:42)

But it is really, it is a really great. It is a really great.

Host (possibly Burt) (12:45)

When I read that, I'm like, does he really mean like the backyard or figuratively he wants it in the backyard. The bird show.

Jen (12:57)

The sun's shining, birds are singing, and all feels right in the world.

Host (possibly Burt) (13:02)

Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year.

Jen (13:12)

At the American Psychiatric association foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all. Because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more. So you're running out of closet space. The good news? You don't need to stop shopping. You just need to start selling with the real real. The realreal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. Whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone or those boots you never fully broke in, the RealReal handles everything from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid and make room for things that actually feel like you. And with 10,000 new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prada, Celine, Louis Vuitton and Loewe, all for up to 90% off retail, you're bound to find something perfectly on brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, right now you can get an extra $100 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you go to therealreal.com to start selling and get your extra $100 to keep shopping@therealreal.com that's therealreal.com terms apply.

Host (possibly Burt) (14:26)

This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. Last year I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and

Melissa (14:34)

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Host (possibly Burt) (14:36)

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Jen (15:04)

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Host (possibly Burt) (15:05)

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Jen (15:06)

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Host (possibly Burt) (15:07)

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Jen (15:09)

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Host (possibly Burt) (15:12)

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Jen (15:20)

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Host (possibly Burt) (15:23)

space80@talkspace.com you can follow along with Mandy and Brian's journey around the world. We started talking to him six months ago.

Jen (15:34)

Can you all believe No, I can't.

Host (possibly Burt) (15:37)

And they are keeping A really great blog with some fantastic pictures on it@mandyandbrian.com but you can link over from our website at q100atlanta.com and let me just read you two entries that made me laugh yesterday. Okay, one. I think they're both from Mandy. Dear Hot shower. While Brian and I were on vacation from our vacation, I was introduced to you. And I just wanted to let you know I think I'm in love with you. You make me feel so much cleaner than your evil twin. Cold shower. I will miss you when we take our six hour bus to a 13 hour train. Because even though I spend all that time sitting, I somehow managed to develop a funk so strong I'm afraid to raise my arms. I will miss you in Bangkok when the Tuk Tuk drivers won't leave us alone about about going to a ping pong show. And the memory of what those girls did with their lady parts makes me feel dirty. I will miss you when my legs start looking like Brian's and I know it's time to shave again. I hope to see you again. Hot shower. The sooner the better. I'm afraid I can't live without you and your hot, steamy goodness. Your most adoring fan, Mandy. That's funny. That's funny.

Jen (16:46)

I could not do that. Hot shower is like the best.

Host (possibly Burt) (16:49)

I know. I hate cold showers. I would rather go without a shower. Yes. Than a cold shower.

Jen (16:54)

Yes.

Host (possibly Burt) (16:54)

I hate it that much.

Jen (16:55)

Jinx. Somebody bust somebody. Cook quick.

Host (possibly Burt) (17:00)

It says it's been over six months that we've been traveling. And here are some random quantities. 14,661 pictures I have taken. Wow. 12. 25 pictures I have taken of monkeys. Clearly I have issues. 35 books I have read. 28 longest consecutive hours spent in transport that involved a plane, two buses, two shuttles, one train, one taxi. Six Greatest number of people seen on a motorbike. Five pairs of sunglass. Brian has lost or broken four pairs of flip flops. Brian has lost or broken three monkeys that hit Brian. One tiger that hit Brian. One stray cat that hit Brian. Brian is having a tougher time than Mandy is. Hey, you guys. How you doing? Hey y'.

Melissa (17:47)

All. Hey, how are you?

Host (possibly Burt) (17:48)

How are you? What's going on?

Melissa (17:49)

I'm good. So good to talk to you.

Host (possibly Burt) (17:52)

How are you?

Melissa (17:54)

I'm. I'm less ready to go home now that we are moving again and we have a plan. And I mean right now we're sitting in a bungalow on the beach. So I. There's really nothing to complain about here.

Host (possibly Burt) (18:08)

Have there been nights or days where you seriously said to Brian, you're like, let's get out of here? You know what? I know we had a plan, but I'm ready to go home. I miss my family.

Melissa (18:18)

Yeah, well, like you said, like, when we were in Bangkok, we were just not doing anything. And I remember before we left, my dad said if you, you know, go do this, have fun, enjoy, but if you ever reach a point where it's just not fun anymore, you can always come home. And so I just reached that point, like, this isn't fun. We're just sitting in this room all day and, you know, we've seen all of these things and so it just felt like we're not doing anything. And. And so I. Yeah, there was definitely a few late night phone calls, like my best friend, and one of which, you know, ended with me, like, really unsure if I was even going to stay or not. And then of course, they have to. The Indian consulate had our passports and so I couldn't have gone home even if I wanted to. So luckily, at this point, I have changed my mind and I am looking forward to Greece and having something to do. I feel like a lot of it now is we kind of go around and we just look at stuff, but I'm looking forward to actually experiencing and living somewhere for a while.

Host (possibly Burt) (19:10)

I think a lot of people have this fantasy to do the same thing you guys are doing. Just drop it all, I mean, and then just go travel and see the entire world.

Jen (19:16)

Who hasn't had that idea?

Host (possibly Burt) (19:18)

What's the. What's the one thing that most people don't know about traveling this consistently that you would warn them about before they take a trip?

Melissa (19:27)

Oh, gosh, I would warn them about lots of things. I mean, you have to have an incredible amount, it depends on where you're going. But especially here in, like, Asia, you have to have an incredible amount of patience and expect that your train, your bus, your boat, nothing's going to run on time. It will probably break down. Just deal with it. I mean, just get over anything that you can't control because you can't control it as far as, like, money and things like that. I've found that Brian and I don't fight over money like I thought we would, but because we have a limited supply of money, I find myself feeling really guilty anytime we spend like a substantial amount of money. So it kind of takes the fun out of doing big things. Like, we've talked about going diving, but it's like, oh, but diving so expensive. I don't know. We could just snorkel. It's cheaper, so. And then I guess part of what I'm experiencing now is if you do it for too long, like, some of the wow factor goes away. Like, at first we were like, oh, my God, we're floating down the river in Indonesia. And, you know, look at this jungle. And the. I think there's a monkey in that tree. And now we're like, monkeys. You know, they've pulled my hair, they've stolen my sunglasses. And so we're not quite as like, whoa, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen now. And so, like I said, sometimes it feels like we're just. I mean, the things we're seeing are amazing, don't get me wrong. But it just kind of feels like we're just going around and like, oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. So for a long time, you have to. It's. It's a different sort of traveling than taking a vacation.

Jen (20:58)

And, Mandy, I'm curious, because you guys are carrying everything you own on your backs everywhere you go. Have you ditched a lot of stuff that you started out with?

Melissa (21:07)

We just, in Bangkok, kind of cleaned things out because one, like you said, I mean, I'm so sick of all of the clothing I brought. I'm so tired of wearing it, and it's kind of looking dingy. And also, I mean, we're used to being really warm. And so when we head to Europe, I think it's going to be, like, shockingly cold. Like, it could be 60 degrees, and we're going to be freezing. And so we bought a couple pairs of jeans, and I bought a sweater. And so. So we're kind of preparing ourselves for it's not going to stay hot and tropical forever.

Host (possibly Burt) (21:36)

And you can't, like. I know when I go on vacations, I always seem to, like, have everybody in mind to buy gifts for. For when I get back. You can't do. You can't accumulate that kind of stuff, right?

Melissa (21:47)

No, it kind of. It affects what you buy because we find ourselves wanting to buy things that are really easily shipped home or really easily carried. So it's. Everything always have to be flat, and we're going to be gone for so long and going to so many places. Like, yeah, I have this. Like, I want to get something for everybody here, and Brian keeps reminding me, well, we're going to go to, you know, we're going to Egypt next, and then we're going to go to Europe, and there are things to buy there, too, so you don't have to scratch everyone off your list right now.

Host (possibly Burt) (22:14)

And the relationship with Brian, everything has been strong. You guys leaning on each other, everything going the way you thought it would

Melissa (22:21)

for the most part. I mean, when I was. We were. I was ready to go home and we were bored. We were a little at each other's throats because I think we were just sort of taking it out on each other because neither one of us was happy. And so it's like, I'm not happy, so I'm not fun to be around, and he's not happy and he's not fun to be around. And that just kind of escalated. So.

Host (possibly Burt) (22:39)

Oh, yeah.

Melissa (22:39)

And he said to be out of there.

Jen (22:41)

And he said he wanted to break up with you. That thing.

Host (possibly Burt) (22:43)

That was that.

Melissa (22:44)

Right? And then there was that. He hasn't done that again.

Host (possibly Burt) (22:50)

So just to get a rundown, what's coming up for you guys over the next couple of weeks?

Melissa (22:55)

Well, thanks to the Bangkok airport being closed still, we think now that we've gotten out of there, we don't really know, but we are heading down to Kuala Lumpur. We're killing some time on the islands for now. And then the 8th, we fly to Cairo. We're going to spend about 10 days in Egypt. And then we're going to fly to Athens, Greece, to meet a friend of mine for a few days. And then after that, we start working on, like you said, on a farm on this Greek island.

Host (possibly Burt) (23:23)

Fantastic. I mean, she's writing in such a way. Both of them are doing such a great job, and all the pictures are fantastic. Also, go online and check them out and you can sort of take the journey with them at q100atlanta.com all right, Mandy, we will talk to you in a couple of weeks.

Melissa (23:37)

Okay.

Host (possibly Burt) (23:38)

It's good talking to you.

Melissa (23:39)

Yeah, you guys, you too.

Host (possibly Burt) (23:41)

Bye. Bye. The bird show.