Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, March 17 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, March 17 [Vault]

Air Date: March 17, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and more

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show is driven by candid, engaging discussions as the team tackles two major topics:

• A listener’s dilemma about joining the military as a mom, and
• The concept of soulmates, both inside and outside of marriage.

Rounding out the show is an upbeat debate on the pros and anxieties of joining Facebook, peppered with humor and signature authenticity.

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1. Listener Dilemma: Should a Mom Join the Military?

(00:45–15:36)

Background & Context

"Emily," a listener, calls in (with her voice disguised for privacy) seeking advice over her desire to enlist in the military, despite being a mother to a toddler and wrestling with family and societal expectations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Emily’s Situation

  • Feels stuck in "just a job," not a career.
  • Has always regretted not joining the military and is considering it as a way to secure her family's future ([02:04], Emily).
  • Husband is on board but they have not told extended family.

• Main Conflict

  • Feels immense social and internal pressure about a mother leaving for military service ("A woman typically doesn’t do this…it’s perfectly acceptable for the man…he's applauded for standing up and doing so for his family…It’s not really the same way for a woman." – Emily, [03:56]).

• Team Reactions & Guidance

  • Bert stresses the reality of military family life’s instability:
    "Once you join the military…you are at the mercy of the military…especially with children." ([03:19], Bert).
  • Casey empathizes: "If your husband is okay with this, it sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself to be okay with this." ([07:54], Casey).
  • The group explores the idea of "role reversal," with a husband as primary caretaker.

• Caller Perspectives

  • Jen Hobby (former Air Force, single mom):
    • "It’s the most stable thing you could possibly do…you get to travel the world...Your child gets to see so much of the world." ([09:17–10:58]).
    • Suggests Air Force is more aligned with civilian life and presents less risk of "hands-on war" for women.
  • Michael (former military):
    • Cautions against it if you have children:
      "The military is always number one…if you’re away for two and a half years, that really does make a big difference." ([11:22–11:48]).
  • Laura (current military, single mom):
    • Shares about deployment and childcare logistics.
    • Reiterates, "There are ups and downs…it would be a good decision if that’s what she wants, but you better feel really strongly about it." ([13:23–14:33]).

• Emily’s Next Steps

  • Plans to meet with a recruiter to get her questions answered.
  • Show will check in again after her meeting ([15:16–15:32]).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "I would be making this decision for our future...My son can grow up in different places and have a wonderful lifestyle...I might be making a better decision as a parent." – Emily ([05:16])
• "If this is a dream of hers, then I think she should pursue it, but pursue it with education…If you are not certain, then I think you need to hold off." – Bert ([12:47])
• "We're planning on going and talking with the recruiter…hopefully…make a decision." – Emily ([15:10])

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2. The Soulmate Debate

(15:36–26:52)

Topic Kickoff

The show pivots from reality to romance, debating whether everyone truly has a "soulmate", if you're always married to that person, and the messy realities that complicate the soulmate myth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Angela’s Story

  • Married, but believes her soulmate is someone she met online (never in person).
  • Learned from this connection that her marriage lacked what she needed:
    "I never really saw that until you sort of see it from the outside." ([18:29], Angela).
  • Bert challenges her: "Soulmate is a very romantic notion. One thing the fairy tale never talks about is challenges within your relationship…" ([18:59]).

• Caller Laura’s Perspective

  • Lost her soulmate to death, remarried, asks: "Can you have another soulmate?" ([21:22])
  • The cast muses on whether soulmates are "one and done" or if you can find more in life.

• Producer Tracy’s Definition

  • "My relationship isn’t easy…But every single day, I can’t wait to get home to see him…I can’t imagine a single day in my life where he’s not there." ([23:02])

• Tara’s Call

  • Reunited communication with her old soulmate, both are now married to other people.
  • Both couples know about the connection, stressing the complexity of love and loyalty ([25:04]).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "It's easy to say it's your soulmate where I believe a true soulmate is somebody that there's something there despite all those things that go on." – Bert ([19:18])
• “I think if I was your best friend, I'd be telling you yes, there are more than one soulmates.” – Brischa ([22:12])
• “Soulmate is painting with big broad brushstrokes, and not, like you said, not thinking about the details of everyday life.” – Casey ([20:04])

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3. Facebook: Friend or Foe?

(27:22–36:18)

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Jen Hobby’s Dilemma
  • She's "on the Facebook fence," feeling overwhelmed by digital communication and hesitant to join yet another platform.
• Panel’s Mixed Experiences
  • Bert says he uses Facebook for listeners, not for personal connections.
  • Tracy and others recount the pressure of friend requests and privacy concerns ("If you don't add someone…they'll confront you on that in person." – Scott ([30:31]))
  • The anxiety of photo tagging, instant messaging, and privacy is humorously dissected.
• Community Suggestions
  • Ideas on creating a private, low-maintenance account to stay connected without being overwhelmed ([34:30], Michael).
  • Warnings about accidental over-sharing, tagging, and the “fan site” aspect of Facebook.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "If I added one more thing like Facebook, I would just give me an anxiety attack." – Casey ([27:44])
• "Sometimes it's excitement, sometimes it's like, oh my God, I didn't like you back then. Why do you think I like you on the computer?" – Bert ([32:30])
• "It's a great concept when you think about it. It's like your own fan site. You get to create your own fan site. It's brilliant." – Brischa ([36:05])
• "I'm still on the Facebook fence, you know." – Casey ([35:52])

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Standout Moments & Quotes

On the military as a mom:

• “I feel like I might be making a better decision as a parent.” – Emily ([05:16])
• “You're never going to have that chance to raise your kids again. And if you're away for them for two and a half years, it really does make a big difference.” – Michael ([11:22])

On soulmates:

• “A soulmate is someone you can’t imagine a single day in your life without them.” – Tracy ([23:02])
• “I wish that we would just get back to where it's okay to go through some hard work in order to make a relationship work rather than think your soulmate is the easy person that is just a phone call away.” – Bert ([26:52])

On Facebook:

• “Everybody can be famous on Facebook.” – Bert ([36:12])
• “There are just some people that just don’t know when to stop.” – Brischa ([32:57])

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Episode Flow & Energy

This episode pulses with the show's trademark authenticity, with cast and callers alike exposing dilemmas, judgments, and laughter. From the emotional tug of big life decisions to playful jabs at social media, the team offers humor, empathy, and plenty of food for thought.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Military mom dilemma and caller insights: 00:45–15:36
• Soulmate debate (callers and cast): 15:36–26:52
• Facebook fence debate: 27:22–36:18

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For listeners new and old, this episode offers an intimate look at modern life’s hardest and oddest choices, served with humor, honesty, and the warmth of morning radio at its best.

Transcript

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[Bert]

Are you really buying a car online on autotrader right now?

[Casey]

Really? I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget.

[Bert]

You can really have it delivered or pick it up. I think kid is walking up the slide.

[Tracy]

Really?

[Brischa]

Auto trader.

[Casey]

Buy your car online. Really?

[Brischa]

The bird show. All right. Completely different subject. And she needs to be on the voice disguiser here because she hasn't even discussed this with her family yet.

[Casey]

Her extended family.

[Bert]

You mean her immediate. Like her.

[Brischa]

I think her husband. I don't even think she's got into it with him yet. She's having all sorts of thoughts about going into the military, but she also has children and she's got a husband.

[Bert]

Right.

[Brischa]

So I think it probably goes against a woman's instinct, do I bail on my kids? Do I bail on my family to pursue this? So she wants to get some clarity, and maybe some of you guys listening have been in the exact same situation. Maybe you're a woman and you're in the military and you've had all these mixed feelings. Also, maybe you can help her out. Good morning, Emily.

[Emily]

Hey, Bruxell. Good morning. How are you?

[Bert]

Good. Now, is it true? Because I am concerned. Have you not shared this with your husband yet?

[Emily]

No, no, no. I actually have shared it with my husband. It's my parents, my siblings, friends, it's everyone else like that. I just happen to listen to your show. I don't want to take any chances.

[Brischa]

All right, so we'll try to not get too specific on details.

[Emily]

That's okay.

[Angela]

That's fine.

[Brischa]

So it's trying to be as vague as we can tell us how you got to the point you're at right now. Like, you're not in the military now. You have a current job, obviously. Would you say it's a job, or would you say you're in a career right now?

[Emily]

I am definitely in just a job right now, and that's what kind of got us to this position. And I don't really know how much background to give you, but basically, you know, we've. We've just been kind of talking, me and my husband. We've kind of Been talking about, you know, the place where the lease is going to come up in several months and we're going to have to make a move. I had offered the information that I'm not in a position to where I have a career. I don't have a college education. We don't live anywhere that we particularly like to call home. And I've always wanted to go into the military, never did, and I've always regretted it. And somehow or another that was thrown up that, hey, maybe I should consider that we could move. We'd have a place to live. I could get training, I could get a job.

[Casey]

And what was your husband's reaction when you guys started talking about it?

[Emily]

Well, initially, I think he thought I was joking. And I brought it up again and said, you know, hey, this is something that I'd really like your input on, because I don't think I'm completely crazy. And, you know, we did have another discussion about it, and we're both kind of in agreement that we would like to know more about it and that it's not that bad of an idea.

[Bert]

Well, I definitely think you should find out as much as you can about it, because once you join the military, I mean, they will tell you where you live, and it may be at one place for a little bit, and then you will have to move your whole family to another place. You know, so it's really. You are at the mercy of the military because you joined to serve. And so. And they will put you wherever they need you. So I do think that the instability of living conditions may be something that might. You need to consider, especially with children.

[Emily]

Right.

[Casey]

And how many kids do you have?

[Emily]

Just one.

[Brischa]

One.

[Casey]

And how old?

[Emily]

He's a year and a half.

[Scott]

Okay.

[Brischa]

Okay. So where. Where's the conflict, the mental conflict, the emotional conflict coming in for you?

[Emily]

The conflict that I'm having, and I think you said it a few minutes ago, Bert, it's. A woman typically doesn't do this. You know, that it's perfectly acceptable for the man to make this kind of decision. And, you know, he's applauded for standing up and doing so for his family. And, you know, he leaves, the woman, takes care of the house and home, and that's just cool. That's what you have to do when you do it. It's not really the same way for a woman. And I'm just. I feel really like, out of place even trying to consider that. Because I'm a mother, I don't want to leave my child. I don't want to leave my husband. I certainly don't want to have role reversal and my husband taking care of the house and my son and everything else. And I'm just. I'm having that problem. If it's okay, like, if I don't know anybody else that's done this, is it reasonable to think that we can do it and, you know, both of us just have to be willing to deal with it and it's going to be fine, or is it something that's completely, you know, just out left field and it's just. It's not going to work? I guess that's where I'm having the problem. Is it. Are we just coming up with this crazy idea because it seems like it's going to solve our problems?

[Brischa]

Do you feel like less of a mom because you're entertaining these thoughts, or you're going to be less of a mom if you're away?

[Emily]

Well, not really, because I would. I feel like I would be making this decision for our future, you know, for my child and for our family, so I don't ever have to worry about not having a career. I can get my degree and I can, you know, work in different fields and I can retire in 20 years and, you know, we can grow. My son can grow up in different places and have a wonderful lifestyle. And so I feel like, you know, part of that I would be doing to secure a future for us versus where I'm at now, not really having an education, the economy the way it is. I'm, you know, taking the risk of any day losing my job, and I feel like I might even be. I feel like I might be making a better decision as a parent. But of course, that's not something anybody wants to do, just up and leave their child.

[Jeff]

I mean, it sounds pretty much like you have your mind kind of made up that are you scared that your family's gonna see you? Like, is your family, like, traditionalist? And then they're gonna judge you for leaving and your husband staying home? Because I know a lot of families are the traditionalists.

[Emily]

With me, I've always been the one to make crazy, outrageous decisions. So I don't think that it would surprise them. I do think that they would just see it as something that we're doing on a whim. That just sounds like fun. And they wouldn't really take it serious. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a serious decision, and I think they might just see it as, you know, we're not putting any thought into it. Well, actually, we have. We just, we don't know if we're, you know, kind of on cloud nine and we think we found the perfect solution and if there's really a whole lot more and a whole other side.

[Brischa]

Sometimes I get conflicted in these thoughts because I like to think myself as a pretty progressive guy, especially when it comes to women issues on a lot of things. But the reality of it is when issues like this come up, I sort of feel traditionalist. Like a traditionalist or conservative because I'm trying to think if my wife comes to me and we only have one child and it's Hollis because he's about the same age as your child, and she says, look hon, I'm really thinking about going into the military and says the exact same things you're saying. My knee jerk reaction to that would be this is that I really think that my 18 month old, and this is just for me, I would really like my 18 month old to be around his mom consistently, then have her gone and him have not to have that connection and that day to day with his mom.

[Casey]

But everybody's family works differently.

[Brischa]

Everybody's family works different. Sure. That's what I would say to Stace

[Casey]

and I think what it sounds like to me, what are we using as her fake name?

[Jeff]

Emily.

[Brischa]

Emily.

[Bert]

Emily.

[Casey]

What it sounds like to me is that if your husband is okay with this, it sounds like, like you're trying to convince yourself to be okay with this. Because once you're steadfast in your decision, everyone around you who loves you will support you in it. It may be difficult, there's bumps in the roads and everything else, but it just sounds to me like you're trying to get everyone else's opinion around you to help you make up your mind.

[Emily]

And that might be a part of it. I mean, I do feel like I'm at this point, I'm probably 50, 50, you know, maybe even 60, 40. I do think it's a good idea, but because I have wanted to do it in the past and I just, you know, for whatever reason, I never followed through with it. I don't know, it's just, it's a weird feeling of, you know, what we would know what we would be doing. It's such a huge thing. And it's not just like, you know, moving to another city, starting a new job. You don't like the job, you quit the job, you don't like where you live, you move cities. It's, you know, I'm signing my life away for whatever 2, 4, 20 years and.

[Casey]

But it is something you've wanted to do your whole life. You said you regretted not doing it.

[Emily]

Yeah. So I think I just have a problem with the fact that it would be me and not my husband when he is perfectly capable of doing it. He's just not willing to make the decision.

[Brischa]

Good morning, Kim. You're on Q100.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, good morning, Brischa.

[Tracy]

How are you?

[Brischa]

Good, thank you.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, Emily, this is an amazing opportunity for you. I'm a single mom. I was in the Air Force before and a half years. You know, it's hard to leave your child. Yes. Will you have to make hard decisions throughout the time in the military? Yes, but it's the most stable thing you could possibly do for them. You have automatic health care benefits. You get to travel the world. Your child gets to see so much of the world. I grew up in the Air Force with my father. He was a single parent. You know, we were just exposed to so much. We were given opportunities that other children weren't given. We were overseas. You know, we were here stateside. It's an amazing opportunity. You can't feel guilty about leaving your child. There's going to be other things in your career that are going to force you to make hard decisions in regards to your family. This will be one of them. You'll have an amazing time. You know, it's stable. You know, all I can speak from is my experience at the Air Force. You do get some control over your career decisions. You know, it's based on how you perform on the asvab. Then when you get to basic training, you go to a career counselor and you're given choices that you mark 1 through 10, 1 being your favorite, 10 being your least favorite. And that's about as much control. You get over it. It's based on what positions are available at the time that you enlist, but you still get some control. For me, almost all medical positions were available to me and linguist, which was my number one choice. I didn't get it. I became a dental assistant, which has been very fruitful for me. You know, I would say do Air Force as a female because, you know, it's. You're just less apt to go overseas in the field, you know, hands on hand, kind of, you know, war type situation. The careers are more aligned with civilian careers.

[Scott]

You and Emily could connect privately.

[Brischa]

Sometimes what you're hearing there is she's saying that. Yeah.

[Casey]

Do you think good decision?

[Tracy]

Yeah, I do.

[Bert]

Yeah, I agree. And I also kind of, you know, what she was getting at is the fact that when you do your research, like, each branch of the military focuses on different things and focuses on different parts of you and your personality. So I would definitely, you know, military. Such a broad term, but each branch is very individual.

[Brischa]

So go ahead, Michael. You got to take on this.

[Michael]

Yeah, man, I was in for four years, and out of those four years, I was probably deployed for two. And, you know, the thing is, the military is always number one. And the concern is just making sure that she's putting her family first. You're never going to have that chance to raise your kids again. And if you're away from them for two and a half years, that really does make a big difference.

[Brischa]

So you're saying don't do it.

[Michael]

I'm saying don't do it. I'm saying find another path. Because the thing is, if you go into the military when you don't have kids, you have time to be able to plan around that. But when you have kids, you are definitely put in the military number one. And I'm telling you, when you sign up, when you sign up for the military, they tell you you are going to, you know, they are going to be number one in your life.

[Bert]

Yeah, I mean, I agree with that. I do think the only naive feeling I have, and I would say this to a guy, too, is that if you think that the military is not going to dictate to you how your life is going to be, then I do think you're naive once you sign up for the military, because the nature of the military is they have to figure out what's going on in the world. And they put and pluck and put and pluck and put. And it's not this personal. Let me. Let me figure out what your family life is like so I can negotiate that. They don't have time for that.

[Brischa]

Can't you see some drill sergeant sitting you down and go, okay, what would you like to do today? Would you like to go on the beach?

[Bert]

How do you feel about this?

[Brischa]

How can we accommodate your schedule?

[Bert]

Whatever.

[Brischa]

See, we're going out on deployment here, but if that doesn't work for you, that's cool. Just stay here with the fam.

[Bert]

I just think. I mean, yeah, I just want the argument to be consistent. If this is a dream of hers, then I think she should pursue it, but pursue it with education, you know? But if you are not certain, then I think that you need to hold off until you are. Because once you sign the dotted line with the military, you can. You can't back out.

[Brischa]

Let me just take one more call here, and we'll end on a. I didn't.

[Scott]

I didn't mean to sign up last year.

[Bert]

I go home, this isn't working out for me. Do y' all mind if I just go home?

[Brischa]

I got a little trial separation. Let's see. I'm gonna go my way. Military, you go your way. We'll see if this works out or not. Good morning, Corbin.

[Laura]

Hi. How you doing?

[Brischa]

I'm okay.

[Laura]

I'm in the military, and I could not wait to get to just come through so I can explain to her the ups and downs about it. There are ups and downs about it.

[M]

I am a single mom.

[Laura]

At the time that I left,

[Angela]

I

[Laura]

had three kids, and I left and went to Iraq, to Balad, Iraq, from the year 2003 to 2005. Who takes

[Casey]

care of your kids during that time?

[Laura]

Okay. When you join the military, you sign the consent for someone, a child care provider. If you're a single mom, then you have, like, your parents or the next in line. If you're married, it would automatically be your spouse. But the. The thing about it is, she would gain so much from joining the military if that's what she wanted to do. Do I love it. I mean, I battle with opinions about it every day. Everyone comes in here with an opinion. They're going to be opinions about anything that you do. But I think that it would be a good decision, because if that's what she wants to do, you better feel

[Brischa]

really strongly about it, though, is what I hear her saying.

[Bert]

Absolutely. Emily.

[Brischa]

Yeah. It's all the time we have for that. So I think we gave you. We presented you with both sides pretty equally there.

[Scott]

50.

[Brischa]

50.

[Scott]

Welcome to the bird show. There you go.

[Brischa]

I mean, I always say don't come looking for an answer here, but we can at least throw some things at you from a whole bunch of listeners that at least will give you different angles.

[Tracy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And I think.

[Emily]

And I wanted to hear from some people who were a little experienced and at least had some background where I don't. And so that's exactly what I wanted. We're planning on going and talking with the recruiter on Friday and getting all 100 one of our questions answered. And so hopefully after that, we can take some time and sit down and, you know, really make a decision on it. So that's the next step.

[Brischa]

Hey, can we check back with you on Monday morning and find out how you guys are feeling about the whole thing? After you talk to the recruiter yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Emily]

We're already got an appointment on Friday, so on Monday. I'm sure I'll know something by Monday.

[Brischa]

Okay, let's check back with you on Monday morning.

[Emily]

All right, well, thank you guys so much. I really, really appreciate it.

[Bert]

All right, good luck.

[Brischa]

Good luck, Emily. Bye. Bye. The bird show, As it does every year, the Bachelor has opened up spiritual and romantic debate for us. And last night on the Bachelor, I didn't see this. It's. It's. As Melissa was watching it, though, she stopped right in her tracks.

[Bert]

Well, it's. It's a comment that was made by. I guess she was voted off last night. The Brazilian. Raquel. Raquel. And the comment made me. You know, we forced the tv, we stopped the tv, rewound it to listen to it again, and basically. And I was shocked that she would say this on what, the second week of the Bachelor, but basically what she said was that she believes in soulmates, that once she finds her soulmate, that she believes that if anything happened to her, their soulmate would never get married again or never be with anybody again. And then she proceeded to continue saying that the Bachelor was her soulmate. She believed he was the one. Whatever. So she was voted off.

[Scott]

Obviously, she knows this after four consecutive days of being married.

[Bert]

Exactly. So. So that's what was ridiculous to me

[Casey]

for two whole weeks.

[Bert]

I know, is the fact that she would say that so up front. And I figured that that would scare a guy off pretty quickly. But it started the debate about soulmates and if we believe in them and that kind of thing.

[Brischa]

And the question that we've asked is, do you believe in soulmates, but you also know who is your soulmate, and you also know you're not married to that person. And Angela here, I've asked her if she wanted to be on the Voice Disguiser. She said no. Okay. She's married. She don't want to be on the Voice Disguiser.

[Bert]

But she's not married to her soulmate.

[Brischa]

Hey, Angela.

[Angela]

Hey.

[Brischa]

Hey. So you are married?

[Angela]

Yes.

[Brischa]

And you are not married to your soulmate?

[M]

No.

[Brischa]

And you know who your soulmate is?

[Angela]

Yes.

[Brischa]

Bring it on.

[M]

It's just really lame, I guess. I met him online, and we've never actually met or anything, and I don't know if we ever will, and that's okay. But we've talked for, you know, a year, year and a half, and, you know, we're just really good friends. And I knew there was something at the very beginning because we just clicked. And I. I was like, really mean to him. I. I really did not really want to get to know him because I knew there was something there. And so I just kind of kept, you know, shoving him off, shoving him off and wouldn't really talk to him a whole lot. And it just kind of evolved over time. So, you know, I mean, right now we're just really good friends.

[Brischa]

Have you. So you've never met him face to face?

[Laura]

No.

[Brischa]

And have you told him that you think he's your soulmate?

[M]

Yeah, I mean, we've talked about that, but there's not necessarily any romantic intention. I mean, there are just so many practical issues, you know, I mean, I.

[Scott]

You being married and all.

[M]

He lives 450 miles away.

[Brischa]

And, you know, does your husband know that you're. You have an online relationship with your soulmate?

[M]

Yeah, and actually we're going through a divorce, not because of this, just that it. It showed me that there is something more because I've been with my husband since I was 15. We started dating in high school, and it was never really a healthy relationship. And I never really saw that until you sort of see it from the outside. And it just made me realize that that's not what I wanted.

[Bert]

You know, my challenge to you is because I feel like soulmate is a very romantic, you know, notion, and it's fairy tale and everything. Sweet. One thing the fairy tale never talks about, though, is the challenges within your relationship. And I feel like not ever meeting him or living with him or spending time with him, having an argument with him, you know, all those things. I feel, isn't that just kind of easy? And it's easy to say it's your soulmate, where I believe a true soulmate is somebody. That there's something there, despite all those things that go on, you know. So I don't really know if your relationship with that guy has been challenged to the point that you can honestly say that he's your soulmate. I mean, I don't want to be disrespected by his soul.

[M]

I think of the soulmate as somebody

[Jen Hobby]

who,

[M]

you know, just really understand you. Like, our sense of humor is spot on, you know, and I don't necessarily think that there has to be that romantic.

[Bert]

I understand that. I just feel. I don't know. I. Yeah, I just feel like Casey's more of your rebound than your soulmate.

[Brischa]

He may be, or he's everything that her husband, her current husband, isn't.

[Bert]

Right.

[Casey]

Yeah. I think a soulmate is painting with big, broad brushstrokes. And not, like you said, not thinking about the details of everyday life.

[Bert]

Yeah. Because I think everybody in their relationship, whether you're married or not, sometimes you have those days that are rough. But when you're with somebody every single day, to me, that's the thing that I miss in movies is the portrayal of a relationship where they've been together every single day, they're married, and there's still romance in it where so many times we find romance in newness or in cheating or in whatever. Where to me the true romance comes when you are able to sustain that everyday, you know, detail to detail life.

[Brischa]

It's the most challenging thing. I mean, I've been with the same woman for 14 years. It's the most challenging thing you'll ever

[Bert]

do in your life, but most rewarding if you're able to make it work.

[Brischa]

Good morning, Laura, you're on Q100.

[Angela]

Good morning.

[Brischa]

Good morning.

[Angela]

Well, I've not been with the same one for 17 years, so. And I would say that it is challenging and you do have to go through that. And I would say that he wasn't my first verse. I would necessarily have called him my soulmate.

[Brischa]

You kind of fast forwarded. So you're married now, but you know the guy that is your soulmate and you're not with him.

[Angela]

No, because he, he was. Killed him, he passed away. So I mean, I have no way of being with him. So does God bring about or whoever you want to believe in? For me, it's God. Did God bring about a second soulmate? Can you have another soulmate?

[Brischa]

Yeah, that's a. That is a tricky question because I think if you have a soulmate, is it just one? It's just one. I mean, because isn't that, isn't that by definition what a soulmate is?

[Angela]

But is it? I mean, I don't know. That was something that happened. It occurred. I mean, there was nothing I could do about that. He died, you know, what do you do? You know that life was taken short. So you never experienced life after that at 21?

[Brischa]

Yeah, I don't know. I think if I was your best friend, I'd be telling you, yes, there are more than one soulmate. Yes, there are two or three.

[Angela]

That's exactly right. And so now I have to say, you know, at the time I would say no, this wasn't can. Has he developed into my soulmate? I think so. But if you were to say, was he the one?

[Casey]

No, I don't know about the one thing. I just think it also is just painting with these broad strokes, and it doesn't. I don't know, it doesn't allow room for, I don't know, just the hard work that it takes. You know, it's like, oh, well, you can hang your hat on that. Just hang your hat on that, and that'll be okay.

[Tracy]

Yeah.

[Brischa]

Somebody define what soulmate is like. Tracy. Producer Tracy here is convinced that she has married her soulmate. So define that for me.

[Tracy]

Well, first of all, I'm not going to say that that means my relationship is easy and it's perfect all the time. And, you know, I never get angry. I mean, we definitely fight. We definitely argue. There's definitely things about the two of us that annoy each other. But every single day, I can't wait to get home to see him. You know, I go to the grocery store, and I can't wait to get back home to be with him. There's nothing in my life that I want to do where he's not there. You know, I don't want to see a TV show that I enjoy without him. I don't want to go to a movie without him. I don't want to go anywhere, experience anything without him. And I can't imagine a single day in my life where he's not there. You know, I mean, if I go out of town for two or three days and he's not there, like, it breaks my heart. I hate it. And it's been seven years that we've been together, and, I mean, not a day goes by where, I mean, we're not compelled on our own to tell the other person that we love them so many times a day just because we want them to know, not because, you know, we feel like that's what we're supposed to do, but just because we legitimately feel it.

[Scott]

Fascinating.

[Brischa]

And. Did you say Smithsonian? Looking at a display right now.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Scott]

So you've never gone to the grocery store and then said, hey, you know what? I think I'm gonna go to Stonecrest Mall just because it's not home.

[Tracy]

I mean, honest to God, I would rather be.

[Scott]

Me neither. But I'm just saying that's never. Like, you've never.

[Tracy]

I'm not saying that, like, if I

[Scott]

spent the night at North Point Mall.

[Bert]

Spent the night.

[Casey]

Spent the night in your car?

[Scott]

Yeah. Or, no, in the Gap.

[Tracy]

I'm not saying I don't run errands or get things done or, you know, spend time with Adam, but.

[Scott]

But you do.

[Tracy]

In all honesty, if we were going to go to the Mall. I'd rather him be there with me.

[Scott]

Uh huh. And you guys walk around together and hold hands.

[Casey]

Two peas in a pod. They almost look alike.

[Brischa]

Now they're starting to walk alike. I noticed this yesterday.

[Jeff]

They did.

[Brischa]

You're walking just like Scott now.

[Tracy]

Or maybe he's just got the pregnancy waddle.

[Casey]

You don't have a pregnancy waddle.

[Brischa]

One more call. Good morning. Tonight, Tara, you're on Q100. Good morning. So you believe in soulmates? You know who your soulmate is, but you also know that you're not married to that person.

[Tara]

Correct. I'm married to someone else. And he is also married to someone else.

[Brischa]

Did you guys meet each other while you were both married?

[Tara]

We were.

[Emily]

No.

[Tara]

We met when we were both much younger and we were together for a long time and we went through some hurt and just broke it off and then married other people. And now we want to be back together with one another and not sure

[Emily]

how that's gonna happen.

[Bert]

Did you feel like he was your cellmate when you were with him?

[Emily]

Yes.

[Tara]

We both knew, but we were young. I was 16, he was 18, and we were together for five years. And I lost a child and that

[Michael]

really

[Tara]

put it hampered on our relationship at the time. We're young and didn't know how to deal with that.

[Bert]

Right.

[Tara]

But now we're older and like I said, we're both married to other people. And we talk every day. Our spouses know that we talk, that we've all hung out, have dinner together, stuff like that.

[Brischa]

And your husband knows that you feel this other guy is your soulmate?

[Emily]

Yes.

[Brischa]

Oh, wow. Boy, that would be the longest dinner of my life. There'd be no dinner at all, actually.

[Bert]

Wow.

[Brischa]

And we could continue doing this, you guys, for the next hour. The phone lines are lit up with people that are.

[Bert]

I just want to make sure people I don't know. I'm trying to think of what my idea of soulmate is, but I just want to make sure that people don't mistake something soulmate with missing somebody and a goal to be obtained. Does that make sense?

[Brischa]

Or somebody that's available that is so different than what you have right now. You see them as your soulmate, but really it is. It's just a nice alternative.

[Bert]

And again, it's not, you know, there may be people who legitimately, you know, are not with their soulmate and they know that other person's soulmate, but I do find that I wish that we would just get back to where it's okay to go through some Hard work in order to make a relationship work rather than think your soulmate is the easy person that is just a phone call away.

[Brischa]

The Burt show. So Jen Hobby is stubborn. She is digging in on this one man. Digging in.

[Casey]

I have been so far. But my friends are chipping away at me and what Bert's been talking about is that I'm not on Facebook and I think I'm probably the only person on the planet.

[Scott]

So where do you get your friends?

[Casey]

I know like in real life and stuff.

[Scott]

But how do you poke them? Like what if you want to.

[Brischa]

I think we know the answer to that.

[Casey]

That's a whole separate break. But yeah, I just, I haven't joined it yet. I feel like sometimes in my life with like all the emails that we'll get from listeners that I'll try to get through and read and respond to and the emails just in the work email account that I'll try to get through through and then my personal email account to keep up with my friends. Like that's three already. I feel so overwhelmed by. I never can get back to everybody as soon as I would like to. There's so many things that go left unreturned, you know, in all, in all three of those accounts like that I feel like if I added one more thing like Facebook, I would just give me an anxiety attack.

[Scott]

How do you manage your Facebook, Bert?

[Brischa]

Well, I'm on it every single day. I'm debt totally and completely dedicated it through the interns adding I will go up and here's it's I think the same as MySpace and you went through this period with MySpace where you're really excited about it and you're uploading photos and you're on it all the time and you're in the honeymoon period and you love MySpace and Facebook and it loves you and everything it does is the best thing in the world. And everything you do, everybody loves you and that lasts for about two weeks and then it's just a pain in the ass.

[Casey]

Well, see, I'm thinking about it and I was just discussing this not last night, night before last with a bunch of my close friends because I'm really out of the loop with them because my close knit group of girlfriends all communicate over Facebook all day long, you know, and they have seen each other's pictures that I haven't seen and all that kind of stuff.

[Scott]

So stay at home moms.

[Casey]

No, not necessarily, no. But people that are in front of

[Scott]

a computer, secretaries, you can be on

[Brischa]

your phone now, you can update it from your phone, you can be on

[Casey]

your BlackBerry, all that kind of stuff. So I'm thinking about. I don't know. But I also am concerned that once I'm on there, it'll be hard to resist not adding everyone. But I think if I went on there, it would really be to stay closer with my close friends. Does that make sense? But I'm already close with them.

[Brischa]

Do what Jeff does. He's got like four accounts.

[Bert]

No, you can make two. You have a private account.

[Scott]

Yeah, but the problem is the private account, which I was all gung ho about, like Bert said, I even use that anymore. Because if they're really like, if they're close friends.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Scott]

Like I just. I know it sounds old fashioned and everything, but I talk to them in person.

[Casey]

That's what I do now. But I still feel like out of the loop with my closest friends and like I don't see the most recent pictures of their kids and like all that kind of stuff that they do on Facebook, which seems really awesome. But if I went on there, it would have to be such a small group of people that would be on there because then I also feel like I don't want everybody in the whole world to see like all my pictures.

[Bert]

And I don't know, you can make it private.

[Jeff]

And I think there's even one where you can actually set your page where nobody can even search for you. So you'll have to go and find all your friends first.

[Scott]

Here's the thing though. Here's where you're gonna run into a problem is because I have encountered this. If you don't add someone as a friend, okay. Because they might think that they're closer to you than you think you're closer to them.

[Casey]

Okay.

[Scott]

There are some people who will actually confront you on that in person. Tracy.

[Brischa]

Tracy did.

[Scott]

I didn't add her once. I think I accidentally hit ignore accidentally. And she's really rattled by that.

[Brischa]

Really?

[Scott]

Well, now she won't add me. I'll send her friend request and she ignores everyone.

[Brischa]

Screw you.

[Scott]

So I can't be friends with her. And I got a couple ninja kicks for her. How else am I supposed to pass her an icy cold beer or put

[Jeff]

a kid in her garden patch?

[Brischa]

Uh huh. Oh my God.

[Bert]

That's wrong timing. Bad timing. Never garden patch. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever garden patch.

[Scott]

Just so you know, Scott already put a kid in a garden patch.

[Casey]

Yep.

[Bert]

I just realized that this is absolutely,

[Jeff]

as soon as it was coming out

[Bert]

of my mouth, ridiculous.

[Brischa]

She goes to idea limit she doesn't have a garden patch.

[Scott]

Right. I sent Madonna though, a garden patch.

[Brischa]

She obviously ignored it.

[Bert]

But you can. Because you can have a private account and share photos just with those people. Because my Facebook account is more to keep in touch with listeners than friends. I don't use my Facebook account for friends. I don't put personal photos on Facebook. I don't do any. I do. I don't do that. It's solely to communicate with the listeners faster.

[Brischa]

I use it for both.

[Casey]

Both friends and listeners.

[Brischa]

Yeah, for both. And when I first signed on, people were all excited about. They were saying, oh, you're gonna reunite with old friends, and stuff like that. And for the first couple of months, it didn't happen, but. But the last couple of weeks, it has, and it's been pretty cool. Really? Like, yeah, like, I got pictures of me back in college in our old college apartment, and, yeah, it's been actually pretty cool the last couple of weeks.

[Jeff]

And with your picture, things like, you can set your pictures on who can see which pictures. Like, you can set the pictures that you want your friends to see to just those specific friends, like, so nobody else can view them.

[Casey]

I have so much anxiety surrounding Facebook.

[Brischa]

You don't have time. Don't do it.

[Bert]

And some of those old friends, I mean, yeah, sometimes it's excitement. Sometimes it's like, oh, my God, I

[Brischa]

didn't like you back then. Why do you think I like you on the computer?

[Bert]

And it's almost like with Jeff, they keep pressing you want. You know, hey, what's going on? Like, you know what? I haven't talked to you in 20 years, and there's a reason for that.

[Casey]

Well, and my friend said that there's now this Facebook I am chat, where they can tell if you're looking at it unless you disable it.

[Scott]

Well, that's always.

[Bert]

Yeah, they can tell when you're on. That's a little voyeuristic.

[Scott]

You can turn that off.

[Brischa]

I hate all. That's a whole other side subject. I hate all instant messaging because there are just some people that just don't know when to stop.

[Casey]

And they hit you up, right.

[Brischa]

Every single time that you sign on. My analogy is always like, okay, let's take this out of the computer world and put it into a neighborhood. Every time I open up my door, you run out of your house and

[Bert]

you go, hey, Bert.

[Brischa]

Every single time I walk out of my house.

[Bert]

Yes. That's a great analogy, because it scares me every time it pops up.

[Casey]

Oh.

[Bert]

Oh, my God.

[Brischa]

Yeah.

[Scott]

And just so, you know, if you instant message me within three minutes of me logging on, every time I log on, I pass judgment on you.

[Casey]

Because you think they have nothing else to do.

[Brischa]

Yeah. What else are you doing?

[Scott]

Right? Absolutely.

[Casey]

So what do you guys say? Should I do it or should I not?

[Bert]

I think for you, if you do it, it's a private thing with just those friends that you feel out of touch with.

[Scott]

If you're gonna do that, I say don't.

[Brischa]

Jeff has a private account, so he could speak to that better than the rest of the. I like it for the show, and I like it for some of the friends that I have also. I like it. I'm a fan of it.

[Jeff]

I like it too.

[Scott]

I like it. But if you're gonna do it, do it for the show, because the private accounts.

[Casey]

I'm sorry. I already feel overwhelmed with that.

[Bert]

See, that's what I'm saying. She feels like, yeah, it's a lot to keep up with if you're trying to gear toward a lot of people. But if it's just like, a handful of friends, I think it would be easier again for picture sharing and to see their conversations throughout the day that you miss.

[Brischa]

Hey, Craig, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Michael]

Hey, I've got a suggestion for you. So you're not overwhelmed with it, just set up an account to where you have that, where you can just log in, and then you can look at their pictures. You don't have to upload pictures. You don't have to chat. You don't have to do any of that stuff. Whenever you talk to them and they say something like, oh, did you see my new pictures? Then you can just click on and log into your account and look at the pictures. That way you're caught up with everything.

[Casey]

That's a great idea.

[Scott]

And what if somebody wants to send her walk the plank request?

[Bert]

She hits ignore.

[Scott]

Can she still do that?

[Michael]

Just whatever. Just catch up with them.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And if you want to send a picture, just put it your normal way. You can send them an email.

[Scott]

I think for 24 hours, we the next. The loser of the next bet for 24 hours has to do in real life everything that's sent to them on Facebook.

[Brischa]

So, like, I have to have a beer. I have to have a shot. Ninja kick. I got to get a ninja kick.

[Scott]

I'm gonna send bird a Jimmy kick.

[Brischa]

I say go for it.

[Bert]

You have to go into the garden at some point and put a little gnome in there.

[Scott]

Go to the garden patch request, and

[Jeff]

there is a privacy setting where no one even can search your name and find you. There is that privacy thing on there.

[Brischa]

You gotta be very careful about the pictures you upload. Also, I uploaded some from Christmas time. Stacy's new tradition in the house is to have us all dressed in the same pajamas. I haven't received more crap about anything in my life than I have this one picture, really. So you got to be really careful about which ones you're putting up and which ones you're not.

[Casey]

Also, I'm still on the Facebook fence, you know. God.

[Bert]

And when you get tagged by other people in the photos, it's like, you seriously tagged me on that. Like, did you see how I looked in that picture? And you untag it.

[Casey]

Yes.

[Bert]

Yeah. No offense, but come on now. Let me be fair.

[Brischa]

It's a great concept when you think about it. It's like your own fan site. You get to create your own fan site. It's brilliant.

[Bert]

Everybody can be famous on Facebook.

[Brischa]

Yeah.

[Scott]

I love that.

[Casey]

Still on the fence.

[Tracy]

Yeah.

[Brischa]

Hey, the bird show.