Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, May 12 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, May 12 [Vault]

Date: May 12, 2026
Duration covered: [00:54]–[48:47]
Main Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, various listeners, special guest Oneita Bobbitt

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers their signature real talk and humor, but pivots into serious territory as they address several themes:

• Consumer vulnerability with car repairs, exploring how mechanics often upsell or charge for unnecessary or unperformed services.
• The complication of social lies—a listener’s story about lying to fit in with a new friend group.
• Heartfelt, urgent conversations on domestic abuse, sparked by Rihanna’s public interview about her experience and followed by raw calls from listeners (both women and men) living through abuse.

The show balances light and heavy: listeners are drawn in by entertaining banter but leave with profound, potentially life-saving information.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Car Repair Rip-Offs: Mechanics, Upselling & Trust

• [00:54–13:04]:
  • The discussion opens with Bert expressing distrust in car repair shops:

    “Whenever I take my car into a mechanic, I mean, they can jack me for as much as they want. And I always feel that vulnerability.” (Bert, [00:59])

  • CBS Atlanta’s hidden camera investigation is summarized by the cast.
    • Shops are seen “upselling”—charging customers for nonessential, sometimes entirely unperformed, services:

      “We were upsold at five of the ten stores we visited.” (CBS Atlanta Reporter, [02:51]) “They just added more fluid and charged us for work that was never done.” ([05:04])

  • Listener calls and reactions:
    • One mechanic’s wife calls in to defend the upsell culture as a byproduct of low base pay [08:01].
    • Hosts push back, comparing it to being pressured to buy dessert at a restaurant:

      “With a dessert, at least I'm educated. Whether I put in my mouth, it's not gonna cause me to have a wreck...” (Katie, [08:57])

  • Advice for listeners:
    • Always ask to see the replaced parts (even if not failsafe).
    • Mark engine components discreetly to verify real changes (nail polish suggestion at [12:33]).

2. Social Lies: When “Fitting In” Goes Too Far

• [13:04–19:44]:
  • Listener Betsy joins to recount how she lied about her job (claiming she worked in marketing/PR rather than at a tanning salon) in a new church group:

    “I was just sort of thinking on my feet. I felt silly because all of these women had successful careers, and I...work at a tanning salon...So I said marketing and PR.” (Betsy, [13:46])

  • She receives coaching from another listener to navigate a resulting request for marketing advice.
  • The hosts offer advice on gracefully backing out of the snowballing fib, suggesting:
    • Say business went under, or that she wants to keep business separate from friendship.
    • The recurring risk of being asked for more “expertise” if she doesn’t come clean.
  • Emotional core:

    “I really like these women now. I definitely don't want to carry on the lie anymore.” (Betsy, [18:00])

  • Memorable moment:
    • Betsy likened to a mechanic by Katie:

      “You're like a mechanic that CBS Atlanta investigates.” ([17:01])

3. Domestic Violence: From Rihanna’s Story to Listener Realities

• [20:15–48:47]:

  • Begins with a recap of Rihanna's candid interview about her abuse by Chris Brown ([20:41]); her reluctance to “drop it” after catching him in a lie is cited as a trigger for the violence.

    “I caught him in a lie, and he wouldn't tell the truth. So I wouldn't drop it...It escalated into him being violent towards me.” (Rihanna [audio], [21:00])

  • Listener “Glenda” Calls In:

    • Shares her ongoing abusive relationship, feeling “brainwashed” and isolated after repeated cycles of leaving and returning:

      “When the things are good, they're really, really good, but when they're bad...they're really, really bad.” (Glenda, [21:39]) “I walk on eggshells every day...I don't know what to expect.” ([22:40])

  • Immediate Support:

    • Bert and Jen refer her to “Jaden’s Ladder,” an organization for domestic violence survivors, represented in the call by founder Oneita Bobbitt.
    • Oneita’s advice:
      • Prepare an exit plan: gather key documents, save cash, and leave when possible.

      “Start to get any important paperwork, start putting some money aside, give it to somebody that you trust, and just for the day that when you are ready...you're not left with nothing.” (Oneita, [26:40])

      • Validation that it’s not her fault, and she is “in a great position to get out...before it gets really bad.” ([28:55])
      • Gives out direct office and cell numbers for immediate help: 888-430-1118 and 603-205-4746 ([31:06], [48:08])
      • Describes the cycle of abuse and her own experience, reinforcing that leaving is possible and recovery is real ([27:24]).
      • Stresses importance of breaking the cycle for children if involved ([39:59], [42:00]).

  • Male Victims Addressed:

    • Listener “Preston” calls in, sharing his own abuse at the hands of his wife:

      “I really am in [an] abusive relationship because I'm at the point where I'm disconnected from my family now.” (Preston, [36:54])

    • The discussion covers stigma, “guy pride,” and difficulty seeking help as a male victim.

      “As a guy, it does have a different texture to it because you can't go to your guy friends about it...” (Bert, [36:54])

    • Oneita encourages seeking codependency support groups, and offers personal support:

      “For men, I ask them to find a codependency group because there's men and women in that group...You’re not alone.” (Oneita, [37:44])

      • Points out the impact on children:

        “If you can break the cycle now, you are actually helping your child, your daughters in the future, not to get caught up in the cycle, not to be the abuser and not to be the abused.” ([42:00])

  • Additional Listener Calls:

    • Several more women describe being trapped due to financial dependence or isolation.
    • Oneita and the team stress support is available—financial, emotional, and logistical:

      “It’s not a choice between getting abused and keeping a safe home for your kids. You’re not safe.” (Oneita, [45:10])

  • Emotional Impact and Call to Action:

    • Oneita’s lived experience lends authenticity and hope:

      “If I can do it, you can do it. You really can. And there is support out there. Just, you know, by you calling and reaching out, this is your first step.” (Oneita, [47:02])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mechanic Rip-Offs:

  • “You think you’re getting a deal, when, no, they're just cutting off money that they were overcharging you anyway.” – Katie ([03:26])
  • “I don't know what makes me more mad: upcharging or not doing the work at all.” – Jen ([06:29])

• On Social Lies:

  • “After this, I really need to come up with another lie so that it doesn't happen again.” – Betsy ([16:43])

• On Domestic Violence:

  • “When the things are good, they're really, really good, but when they're bad...they’re really, really bad.” – Glenda ([21:39])
  • “That man had just brought me down. And I got out, and there is somebody who will love you...You're gonna be free.” – Dawn ([34:05])
  • “If I can do it, you can do it.” – Oneita Bobbitt ([47:02])
  • “It doesn't make you weak because you don't hit a woman...I get a lot of calls from men like you, so don't feel that you're alone.” – Oneita ([37:44])

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Important Timestamps

• [00:54] – Start of car mechanic discussion
• [02:26] – CBS Atlanta reporter hidden camera investigation
• [08:01] – Mechanic's wife explains the upsell culture
• [13:04] – Betsy’s story: lying to new friends about her job
• [18:00] – Betsy expresses guilt about lying in a church group
• [20:15] – Rihanna’s abuse interview recap
• [21:39–26:40] – Glenda’s story of ongoing domestic abuse; Oneita Bobbitt offers immediate help
• [31:06 & 48:08] – Resource numbers for Jaden’s Ladder read on air
• [36:54] – Preston (male abuse survivor) details his experience
• [45:10] – Onita stresses urgency and support for those feeling trapped
• [47:02] – Oneita’s core message of hope for all survivors

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Resources Shared

• Jaden’s Ladder: www.jadenladder.org
  • Office: 866-430-1118 / 888-430-1118
  • Oneita Bobbitt’s cell: 603-205-4746

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Tone & Style

• Authentic, empathetic, and candid.
• The hosts foster a trusting, supportive environment, creating space for humor about life's little scams but treating real-life crises with gravity and respect.

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Conclusion

The Bert Show’s second show segment for May 12, 2026, moved from consumer protection and self-advocacy to a compassionate focus on breaking cycles of abuse—emphasizing practical advice, emotional support, and the importance of seeking help. Listener stories and expert intervention showcased the power of community radio to bring laughter, connection, and life-saving resources into listeners’ daily lives.

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Transcript

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[Bert]

Dear virt, so I always have this feeling, man, I don't know anything about cars whatsoever.

[Caller/Listener 1]

So.

[Bert]

So whenever I take my car into a mechanic, I mean, they can jack me for as much as they want. And I always feel that vulnerability, you

[Jen]

know, I think everybody does. Unless you are well schooled in auto mechanics, then feel like, you know, they could pull out some words, some technical terminology or whatever and you're gonna be snowed.

[Bert]

Jiffy Lube is the one that used to get me all the time. You know, you just go in there for an oil change and before you know it, you need a fan belt, a new air filter. I'm walking out of there with 120 bucks worth of stuff and all I went in there for was a 1999 oil change, you know. Yeah.

[Katie]

It's funny that you say that because CBS 46 had done this study and what you just described seems to be what's going on a lot with mechanics in Atlanta. And you don't need those upgrades. You just needed that oil change. And they're trying to sell you up a lot of other items.

[Bert]

They did this in a two part segment, right? And Wendy Saltzman from CBS Atlanta decided that she was going to go ahead and she was going to bring, I think it's different cars to different mechanics, Right. And it's the same car. Same car, same car, same car, totally

[Jen]

in working order, totally in healthy shape,

[Bert]

nothing wrong with it whatsoever.

[Katie]

And taking it for an oil change.

[Bert]

Okay. And the piece also had like hidden cameras Inside the car, correct?

[Katie]

Yes. The car had hidden cameras in the hood so that they could actually see what the mechanics, if they did any work, if they said they were going to do some work and they ordered it to see if they actually did it at all or if they just, you know, lied and said, yeah, we're going to charge you for it, but sat back there and, you know. You know, didn't even touch the car.

[Bert]

All right, this is cbs atlanta walking into express lube on ponce.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

CBS atlanta news took this car to be inspected by our station mechanic at wt standard. Then we rigged the car with three hidden cameras before we put it back on the road. We mounted one here in the front, one here underneath the bumper in back. The final one was hidden here in the hood up front. Our producers then took the car into 10 repair shops to get an oil change.

[Bert]

What's really necessary today?

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

And we were. Were upsold at five of the ten stores we visited. Everything is necessary at express lube en ponce, we were sold an air filter power steering flush and a coolant flush that our mechanic said we didn't need. And a rear differential service that express lube said was needed based on mileage. The differential is the set of gears that transfers the power from the transmission to the tires. The total bill was $275.

[Caller/Listener 1]

So actually, technically, I'm trying to save you as much money as I.

[Bert]

What'd he say? I was trying to save you money.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Save you money.

[Katie]

Because you think about it, when you go into a mechanic and they have all these services, they always kind of say, oh, well, guess what? You know, we'll just cut. We'll just knock this 50 bucks off because you're such a good customer. So you think you're getting a deal when, no, they're just cutting off money that they were overcharging you anyway.

[Bert]

And it's a time issue, too, because there's nothing more inconvenient than your car breaking down, right? You know, being pulled over on the side of the road. So you'll spend that extra money, not even question it, right? So listen to what she said in the very beginning. She said half of them upcharged, right?

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Our next stop, express lube and dunwoody. They sold us a rear and front differential and a transfer case. Service fluids need to be changed out, okay? Drained and fluid fitting. They should have been able to inspect the rear differential fluid to see that it was clean. We had just had it changed at their atlanta store the day before, and they never did. Some of the Work they charged us for. Our cameras showed they never flushed the rear differential. All the technician did was fill it with more fluid until it overflowed. And in the front, it just looks dirty. Our hidden cameras and an inspection by our mechanic showed express lube never flushed it. They left dirty fluid in the front differential. Our total charge was $135.

[Bert]

Now, the good part's going to come up here in a couple of minutes When I play you the confrontations, when they actually talk to the ones.

[Katie]

That's awesome.

[Bert]

When they talk to the mechanics, because I'm assuming this isn't going to be great.

[Katie]

Right?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Right.

[Bert]

All right. So this is the jiffy lube indicator.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Now, at jiffy lube indicator, we were again sold a rear differential service as well as a transmission service and a radiator fluid exchange. And our mechanics advice, well, that's where it looks new.

[Caller/Listener 1]

And then I would say, we don't need services.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Remember, our fluid was clean and had already been serviced twice. And again, like express lube, they didn't do a flush like they said they would. They just added more fluid and charged us for work that was never done. Back at our mechanic. So this was an upsell.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Yeah, it was.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Upsell mechanic could have also inspected the coolant, which was flush the day before, but they upsold us on that service, too, for another $89.

[Bert]

When you think of all the times that you've brought your car into the mechanic now.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Bert]

I mean, don't you wish you knew how many times you got upcharged and how much it would cost you?

[Katie]

Because I'm trying to think of any time I've taken my car in for an oil change, and that's all I got. You know what I mean? I don't think I've ever gone anywhere. I did an oil change. They're like, okay, we'll do it. And this is the charge. Okay, thanks. No, it's always. There's always something else wrong with the car.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

The most disturbing upsell was back at jiffy lube, where they sold us a TTEC transmission service for $119.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Fluid need to be replaced in it, and the fluid is really dark.

[Glenda]

Dark and bad. What happens if you leave it in?

[Caller/Listener 1]

I need to call that transmission.

[Glenda]

So you have to get a new transmission.

[Caller/Listener 3]

But I didn't do this.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Definitely don't want to do that.

[Betsy]

Okay.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

The mechanic moved the machine over to the car, but our hidden camera showed they never hooked it up. And an inspection by our own mechanic confirmed they never did the work you

[Caller/Listener 1]

would have into these Lines right here, so I don't see where they get flush on it.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

The total bill at Jiffy Lube was $300, I don't think.

[Jen]

Doing nothing.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Yeah. I don't know what makes me more mad up, charging or not doing the work at all. Yeah, both are equally as bad. But not doing the work. At least give me what I paid for.

[Bert]

Wasted money, man. Plus, you think that it's already taken care of, so you don't think to go and get it done again because you're like, I just got it done the last time.

[Katie]

Right.

[Bert]

I don't need to check on all that.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

And Decatur Goodyear off Clermont was our most expensive stop, with recommended repairs totaling more than $1,100.

[Betsy]

Okay.

[Glenda]

But nothing urgent that needs to be.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I mean, all of it's urgent.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Again, we were recommended to do a front and rear differential service and a transmission flush and spark plugs.

[Bert]

Definitely start getting some of it done

[Oneita Bobbitt]

before you have a catastrophe.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

And when we return to confirm we absolutely needed the repairs, Goodyear tacked on another recommendation. A brake fluid flush on top of the transmission flush.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

Transmission is the one that concerns me. The. I mean, dirty transmission fluid is supposed to be, like a red fluid, and this is almost black.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Oh, okay.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

And brake fluid. Same way brake fluid is supposed to be clear, and it's almost flat.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Again, our mechanic said it was completely unnecessary.

[Bert]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Okay.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Fluid's clear.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

It is clear.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Jen]

Unreal.

[Katie]

Because you don't know. That's the thing is they play. They. They know. You don't know anything about a car, so you don't know if your fluid's clear or black or whatever.

[Bert]

They've even brought me out, like, that air filter before, and it looked pretty good to me. I mean, it's like, hardly any dirt on it, but he says it's dirty, so I'm like, go ahead, put another one in there.

[Katie]

But you don't know what's your air filter either.

[Bert]

I have no idea.

[Katie]

You know, they could have bring a dirty one out and just say it was yours.

[Bert]

Hey, Don. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Glenda]

Hey. I just. I know I don't condone what the mechanics do are doing, but I'm a mechanic's wife. That's actually how they make their extra money. These little oil changes, I think they make 1/10 of an hour off of that oil change. So, like, my husband makes 22 an hour, so he doesn't even get, like, that full amount. I know, like, you may not need it or whatever. But a lot of times, like last week, My husband made nine hours, and he was there longer than 40 hours. And a lot of times it's the service riders that upsell. And that's really how we make our money. I mean, it's not a good thing. But when you go out to a restaurant and they offer you dessert, you know, it's. That's kind of like it is. They should offer it. A lot of those little places, they don't offer it, they just do it. The shop that my husband does, they offer it, and if you don't need it, then they won't do it.

[Bert]

It's so different than dessert.

[Katie]

No offense. That's not my fault that, you know, your husband only, you know, doesn't make more. But I mean, with a dessert, at least I'm educated. I know what a dessert is. And whether put in my mouth, it's not gonna cause me to have a wreck on the road or my car to go bad. And I think that it's so such a dangerous policy to pay bonuses based on service because of course then everybody's gonna try to charge you something you didn't do so they can make money. And that's not what it's about. It's supposed to, you know, to be about making the car a better car.

[Bert]

Now here is the follow up from CBS Atlanta. This is when they confront the mechanics and they're like, dude, this is a perfectly good car. What do you gotta say for yourself?

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

CBS Atlanta News is asking the tough questions after our hidden camera investigation exposed questionable tactics used by some repair shops to make a buck. Are you guys overcharging customers?

[Jen]

No, we are not.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

For repairs they don't need. I mean, these are things that we

[Katie]

didn't do that are based on mileage.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

The cooling system says.

[Glenda]

Going to need to speak with my

[Jen]

district manager on this.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Are you guys overcharging customers for services they don't need?

[Caller/Listener 1]

We upsold you for a service you didn't need.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Yep.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

We had dirty fluid in the front differential. You guys claimed you did. You didn't do the work.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Well, I'm pretty sure that I'm. I can guarantee that service was performed.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

I do not tolerate nor condone that type of service. And the manager and the tech involved have been suspended and demoted, but he

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

still defends some of the services they sold us as being required by mileage. You guys charged us for services that you didn't.

[Glenda]

Oh, don't put me on the camera, baby.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

But you guys didn't fly, ma'.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

Am. If we charge you for it, we did the service. Yes, ma'.

[Glenda]

Am.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

You charged us for a transmission service that you didn't do either.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

It's the case, and it was done. Then we'll take care of the employees that have done this. Our company does not condone it. That's all there is to it.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Yeah, everything that.

[Bert]

The technicians over here, they're pretty concerned. I am actually not at liberty to discuss that.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

The manager passed off our tough questions to their corporate media reps. We're talking about $103 worth of stuff that you're recommending, and you can't show us. But you can't show us where these things are wrong. I mean, you're telling us these things need to be done.

[Bert]

I'm sorry. I can't discuss anything.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

Transmission is the one that concerns me the most.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

And the most expensive repairs totaling more than $1,100.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

And brake fluid, Same way. Brake fluid's supposed to be clear. And it's almost black.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Back at our mechanic.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Okay, Lou.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

It's clear.

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

It is clear.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

You guys wrote here was dirty.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Mm.

[CBS Atlanta Reporter]

Does that look dirty to you?

[Mechanic/Shop Manager]

It's not exactly clear, no.

[Katie]

You know, we always tease about the phrase, you know, what I meant was or, you know, what happened. Was is always leading into a lie. Another one is I'm not at liberty to say that means I'm guilty to discuss.

[Bert]

You know, the. You know, management is always going to put it on the mechanic. But I wonder if we got mechanics on, like on the voice disguiser, if they would confess to us that the managers demand.

[Jen]

We did on Friday when you were out sick, we talked to a few that said absolutely. Until they make money, it's how they're bonused.

[Bert]

Let the manager say, look, go ahead and tell them what you need to.

[Caller/Listener 2]

We need the extra cash.

[Bert]

It's required.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Some of them are required to upsell anything.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener 2]

And everybody.

[Katie]

And like Jen said, that's why the mechanic's wife came on. That's how they make their bonus. That's how they make their extra money over something you don't need.

[Bert]

Some suggestions coming in. Carly wanted to say that you should always have the mechanic show you the problem. Like show you the fluid or show you the air filter. But again, how do you know it's really yours?

[Katie]

How do you know it's your fluid and your air filter? They can get around that.

[Bert]

And Debbie wanted to say you should establish a relationship with your mechanic.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Well, yeah, I Had an email from a woman who actually puts nail polish on all of her, like, belts and things in her engine. So if it needs work, she can actually see if they actually took the old one out and put a new one in.

[Katie]

That's smart.

[Bert]

That's really smart. All right, you want to go check all this stuff out yourself? You can go ahead and check out cbsatlanta.com or we'll have a link over from our [e-mail] here. Birch Show. It's the virt show. All right, so I missed this on Friday because I was out, but Betsy here has got herself into a pretty

[Jen]

tight situation, and we didn't actually talk to her on Friday. We just read it. Melissa read her email, and she was

[Bert]

just trying to impress some friends. Some new friends.

[Jen]

Yeah, she joined a church group.

[Katie]

Right, right, exactly. Yeah. And she's trying to impress them because

[Caller/Listener 2]

they're all doctors and lawyers, but she works at a tanning bed, so she wanted to up them up a little bit.

[Bert]

I don't think I caught that in the replay. So she works at a tanning salon?

[Jen]

Yes.

[Bert]

Hey, Betsy.

[Glenda]

Hi. Hi.

[Bert]

How are you?

[Betsy]

I'm good. Thanks so much for having me on. It's a real thrill.

[Bert]

Well, thank you for being on. So you work at a tanning salon. I just. I'm really curious because we didn't get to talk to you on Friday how you got so caught up so quickly in this lie and where marketing came from.

[Betsy]

I was just sort of thinking on my feet. I felt silly because all of these women had successful careers, and I, as you said, work at a tanning salon, and that just felt sort of weird to me. So I said marketing and pr. It was the first thing that came to mind.

[Bert]

And when you said that, did, like, all the heads turn, like, oh, you're gonna be a real asset to this group.

[Betsy]

You know, they looked at me in a certain way, and I didn't know what that meant then, but now I do.

[Jen]

So they didn't ask you for your help right away. It just came up a little while later. After you met them.

[Betsy]

Right. And now I know them, and I like them, and they seem to really like me, and I've actually pulled off, you know, kind of this Persona, at least until now.

[Bert]

All right, so going into. Going into the weekend, you were. Was the event this weekend, or was this just a conversation?

[Katie]

Just a meeting.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Betsy]

Meeting was Friday. Yeah. And actually, the meeting went really well.

[Katie]

Really?

[Betsy]

Yeah. Actually, one of your listeners called in after you guys read my Letter online. And she actually works for a marketing and PR firm. So you guys put me in touch with her, and she told me what to ask, you know, So I went in and she gave me a game plan. I even used, like, fancy words, you know, demographic and target audience and stuff like that.

[Caller/Listener 2]

That's funny.

[Betsy]

Yeah. So, I mean, and it was pretty short, but I just asked them the right questions. And then I'm supposed to talk to your listener again this week, and then she's going to give me sort of a game plan for them. I'm supposed to have another meeting with them on Friday.

[Jake Grez]

Okay.

[Betsy]

The meeting is. Or the game plan is supposed to be very hands off for me.

[Bert]

All right. So I'm just wondering if we're walking into a danger zone here, because this is a nonprofit event, right?

[Betsy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

But basically our listener is really doing all the work, and you're just going to be the mouthpiece for this person. So it will be done. Well, you're not going to mess up the. The event, correct?

[Betsy]

Yeah. And they were just asking for my advice. I'm not really doing all of their pr. They're doing it, but they just wanted my advice.

[Katie]

But Katie and I talked this weekend about how that our listener here in Atlanta, that's helping you out. How brilliant is that? Because if they take, you know, if you get like a referral fee, let's say in the future. Just saying that if this is not only the only case you take and you consult, but you actually are decide that you want to be PR rep, that our listener is actually the rep that's kind of your associate. You get the referral fee, and they get the business in New Jersey to

[Bert]

win, win, win, win.

[Katie]

It's destiny.

[Betsy]

That would be amazing. But I think I'd be too nervous

[Oneita Bobbitt]

to try to turn it into something.

[Bert]

So there really is no danger. There's no danger here, right?

[Jen]

I don't think so. Did you really think that they bought it, like hook line and they didn't give you any weird looks? Like nobody suspected that you didn't do this for a living.

[Betsy]

I really don't think so. I mean, after this, I really need to come up with another lie to so that it doesn't happen again.

[Katie]

I think you could become an actor because it sounds like you're doing a really good job.

[Bert]

Well, the thing is here, too, when you're around a whole bunch of people that know nothing about your industry, anything you say seems credible because you're in the industry. Why would I question that?

[Katie]

You're like A mechanic that CBS Atlanta investigates.

[Bert]

Well, it seems like it's working out fine, then.

[Betsy]

Oh, I hope so.

[Bert]

Just so long as you don't get carried away.

[Betsy]

I'm in the meeting, and then I should be in the clearing.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Bert]

If it's just advice and she's not the one that's actually planning the event and she's the one there that night that's putting the whole thing together. What's the.

[Katie]

If she gets.

[Caller/Listener 2]

What if they keep asking her for help? Event after event? Because I'm sure this isn't going to be the only one that's true.

[Betsy]

I'm worried about. I don't know how to get out of it. Like, say that I got let go or. I don't know. Well, it's your thing. I'm not sure.

[Katie]

Was it. Is it you working for somebody? Did you say it was your company?

[Betsy]

Well, I said it was my own.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Yeah. You need to say you sold it.

[Bert]

I had to change a heart. I had to get rid of that thing. Good morning, Kelly. You're on Q100.

[Glenda]

Hey, good morning. Love you guys.

[Bert]

Thank you. Good morning.

[Glenda]

I just wanted to know how she honestly felt about this whole big lie and it being in a church group.

[Bert]

The church group you lied to?

[Betsy]

Yeah. I feel really weird about that. I don't really. That's why I just want to be done with it. I definitely don't want to carry on the lie anymore. You know, I don't want to start giving them more advice. I just want to be done with it because I feel horrible, and I really like these women now.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Well, at least you're helping out a charity.

[Jen]

See?

[Caller/Listener 2]

Church charity. She's doing it for the good of somebody else.

[Betsy]

And it is a nonprofit, so.

[Glenda]

Church.

[Betsy]

So I don't think they're going to be any sort of God will still love you or anything like that.

[Bert]

Hey, Caleb. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Yeah. I was wondering what happens if someone from her group. Cesar working at her tennis lawn.

[Bert]

Oh, that's gonna be uncomfortable. Yeah, I think maybe they. The next wave of lies has to be that the company wasn't making any money and you just went belly up. Times are tough right now, and I've just ended up in a tanning salon. What else is there?

[Katie]

It's her own company.

[Bert]

My belly up. It's a recession.

[Caller/Listener 2]

She had to sell it because she wanted to work at a tanning salon.

[Bert]

She needs to get out of the line now.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Yes.

[Jen]

Yeah, she's definitely got to get out of it. Because like Wendy said, it will keep happening.

[Bert]

Like maybe in the actual group. She says, you know, this is going to be the last time I can do this because times are so tough right now. I've had to give up the company.

[Katie]

That bridge when we come to it at this point.

[Bert]

Yeah, it's over.

[Jen]

Good job pulling it off.

[Katie]

Yeah. Because our Atlanta listener heard Katie, my idea about this whole referral fee thing. And so the listeners are going to say, no, no, no, continue with the lie so I can get more business up there.

[Bert]

You're in the clear at this point. I put it pretty much. So don't. Don't add too much. Don't volunteer for any more. Get in and get out and get off of this thing.

[Betsy]

I will. That's what I plan on doing.

[Bert]

Okay. Thank you for the update.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Thanks.

[Bert]

Okay, bye.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Bye.

[Katie]

That's funny.

[Bert]

I don't see what the harm in that is.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Well, just. It's going to be a bad situation for her because they're just going to keep asking.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jen]

I mean, I think long term, it

[Bert]

could be she needs to say that the company went belly up. And I'm so sore about the whole thing. I don't even want to talk about marketing for the rest of my life.

[Katie]

Or it could just be a case of, you know what? We're friends. I don't want to mix business and pleasure. We're in church. I just want to kind of get

[Oneita Bobbitt]

away from work here.

[Bert]

Bird show. This is the Birch show. I saw Rihanna here on Friday night. I sat through this whole thing on 2020, and I was really expecting her to duck a lot of questions because those were the Internet rumors that she just doesn't want to talk about it. Yes, she's willing to help others that were in the same situation, but as far as getting into specifics, we heard Rihanna was not going to talk about it. We were all wrong.

[Jen]

Yeah. Absolutely wrong. She first explains what led up to the place where Chris got violent.

[Katie]

She says she and Brown were in the car on the way home from that Grammy party. He was driving. And over the next 30 minutes, here's what happened. She saw a text message on his cell phone from an old girlfriend. She got angry.

[Caller/Listener 3]

I caught him in a lie, and he wouldn't. He wouldn't tell the truth. So I wouldn't drop it. I wouldn't drop it. I kept saying I couldn't take that. He kept lying to me, and he couldn't take that. I wouldn't drop it because obviously his back was up against the wall. It's the truth is right here in the text message. So it escalated into him being violent towards me, and it was ugly.

[Bert]

Hey, Glenda.

[Glenda]

Hey, Bert. How are you?

[Bert]

Okay. How are you?

[Glenda]

I'm good. I'm actually in a abusive relationship right now, and I can't tell you how many times that I've left and come back and lay up and come back. And, you know, I keep telling myself, when the things are good, they're really, really good, but when they're bad, let me tell you, they're really, really bad. And I tell myself, you know, that he's going to change, things are going to get better, but, you know, they don't get better and he doesn't change. And, you know, when you love somebody, you just, you know, you want that person to change and things to be great because you do love that person. But, you know, in Rihanna's case, I, you know, I just can't speak for her, but, you know, she'll go back.

[Bert]

Is he physically abusive with you?

[Glenda]

Yeah, he's physically and mentally abusive to me.

[Bert]

So when he walks in the door tonight, anything can happen. He can knock you around.

[Glenda]

Anything can happen. It just depends, you know, it's like, you know, I walk in my front door and I walk on eggshells every day because I, you know, I don't know what to expect.

[Jen]

Do you want to leave?

[Glenda]

I don't know if it's been a good day for him and things are going to be great when I get home or if, you know, he's had a bad day at work and I'm going to be the one that he takes out on.

[Jen]

Do you want to leave him?

[Glenda]

Yeah, and I have, many times. And it's just like, you know, you kind of get brainwashed, you know, he says, oh, it's going to be different this time. It's going to be different this time. And he has been to jail for it, and, you know, he's on probation and going to counseling for it. But that's not going to happen. You know, that's not going to help him because he doesn't think he has a problem.

[Bert]

So, Lynn, how do you. I mean, you know all this, and you're speaking so realistically about it all. How do you think this is going to end?

[Glenda]

I have no idea.

[Jen]

Do you have children with him?

[Glenda]

No, my children are grown and they live in different states.

[Jen]

And what excuses do you tell people when you have bruises and cuts and broken bones?

[Glenda]

I just don't talk about it. I'm kind of. I've kind of built a brick wall around myself, and I just stay to myself.

[Jen]

Well, Bert and I worked with an organization over the weekend that can help you get out. It's called Jaden's Ladder, and they help women for two years continually. But you have to leave your abuser and vow to never go back.

[Bert]

And these are women that, when they first started with Jayden's Ladder, were talking the exact same way you are. I mean, you're certainly not alone, you know, and they can help you out of this whole situation because you know in your heart, this can't end well. This guy today is not going to be a great guy, and he's not putting his abusive ways away. You know how this is going to end, right?

[Glenda]

I do know.

[Katie]

It sounds like you just. You're tired.

[Glenda]

I am. And, you know, calling the police, that's no help. The last time an incident happened, I called the county in which I lived in, and I was told that. And the house that I live in, we rent, and it's in my name. And I was told that I was the one that had to leave. And I could only get one change of clothes. What can you do with one change of clothing? You know, And I was like, forget it. You know, don't even bother.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Right.

[Bert]

Hey, Glenda, we were just talking about this event that we were at over the weekend that Jen and I hosted for Jaden's Ladder. And this is an organization specifically set up for women just like you. And the founder of it is Oneita Bobbitt. And she's been in your place before, totally in your place before. And she's on the phone with us right now. Hey, Oneita.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Hi, guys.

[Bert]

How are you?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

I'm good. Just recovering.

[Bert]

Yeah, it was a fun night on Saturday night, but we got some pretty serious stuff going on today. Glenda called us up. We were talking about Rihanna, and we're talking about Chris Brown, and Glenda called us up, and she's in the exact same situation.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Wow. What's going on? What just happened, Glenda?

[Glenda]

I'm sorry, what did you say she

[Oneita Bobbitt]

just happened with you?

[Glenda]

Yeah, I mean, it is like when I said, when it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad, it's really, really bad. And the thing is, you know, you never know what you're walking into when

[Oneita Bobbitt]

you walk through the front door. Have you started to isolate you from your family and friends?

[Glenda]

I mean, I don't have, you know, I have friends at work when I'm at work, that when I Clock out at five. It's like there's no communication. There's no, you know, I don't talk on my cell phone. I don't communicate with my family.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

It's just me and him. Yeah. These are the immediate signs, obviously. And what I want you to start to do is to start to prepare for an exit plan, because I'm not sure how ready you are to leave. And so what I need for you to do is start to get any important paperwork, start putting some money aside, give it to somebody that you trust, and just for the day that when you are ready and when you're fed up and you're ready to go, that you're not left with nothing.

[Bert]

Onita, when is that day? Normally, because Glenda sort of painted this picture of, like, she doesn't know he could come home today. He's having a bad day, he just starts knocking around. So when is gonna be her day of definition? That, okay, today is the last day. I really gotta go.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

You know, for me, it was seven times when Aaron came back and kept beating me up. And then I was just done when I realized it affected another family member. Most of the time, Bert, it's not about us. I mean, we feel we can take it. But when you start to see it might affect your mother, the safety of your mother, that the guy can go off on your child, that's when they hit rock bottom or they really, really get. It's too late. And so I hope for you that you decide that this is a dangerous situation, that you need to get out and you need to start preparing for when you feel strong enough to leave. I know it's difficult. I've been there. But, girlfriend, I really, really want you to start to prepare and really realize the value of your life and that it's not right for what this guy's doing to you, that, you know, when he comes home, that he could just batter you. It's not the right thing. That's not a normal household. I want you to get ready and prepare to leave. And if that point, if you're not ready right now and when he comes home one day and you're just get that strength and walk out the door and you call me. Bert will give you my cell phone number. You call me, and I'll help you out of the situation. You will have me to, you know, in Jaden's ladder, to cover your back and to make sure that you're financially and emotionally okay.

[Bert]

Glenda?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Yeah.

[Bert]

I'm sorry, are you saying in your head right Now, Glenda, it's really not that bad. Are you accepting that it's as bad as it really is?

[Glenda]

No, I'm accepting that it's as bad

[Oneita Bobbitt]

as it really is.

[Glenda]

That's.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

That's an incredible step. Glenda, I want you, when you get off the phone, to get my phone number. And when you're ready to leave, call me. We will be there for you. There's no reason for a man to push you, to punch you, to verbally abuse you. This is wrong. And I want you to get out before it gets really bad. Most people can't make this phone call because it's too late. And you are. You're in a great position to get out of a situation that can potentially kill you. It's that serious. Okay? So I want you to get prepared. Get your paperwork ready. Get all your very important documents. Give it away to a friend. Get some money, whatever money you have, just put it away. And when you're ready, get out of the situation immediately. It's dangerous. I know you feel how dangerous this is, and I want you to know that I'm here. I understand it. I want you to get out of the situation as soon as possible. That was.

[Glenda]

That would be great. Just knowing that I have somebody to turn to is just. It's wonderful.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Do you have children?

[Glenda]

I've learned that, you know, you can't turn to the police or any of the domestic violence shelters or anything like that. I've tried that. And unless you go in and you've got, you know, a broken bone or a black eye or something like that, they'll turn you away and they won't help you.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Well, I want you to call me. And, you know, the shelters and the police officers, they do their job, and when it's. When it's time to do their job, but I want you to do. To do it for yourself. Don't depend on anybody right now. Just get out. And then also call me, and we will help you to get to where you need to be.

[Bert]

Hey, Glenda, don't go anywhere yet, because we want to get that phone number in your hands for sure, okay?

[Glenda]

Oh, definitely. Thank you.

[Jen]

And Oneida, I'm sure there are more women listening who don't have the courage to call in and admit to what's going on with them, but they may be able to be helped by Glenda's story or Rihanna's story, and they may need the help of Jayden's letter. Can they call you? Is there a number where they can call?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Yes, I'M going to. You know, this is unusual, but I'm going to give you my cell phone. Our 800 number is 888-430-1118. That's my office, but if anybody's in need right now and you just want to talk and I can get you through this, my cell phone number is 603-205-4746. You know, it's worth giving out a cell phone number in order to save a life or to make sure that you guys feel that you have a safe place to go. And please give me a call and we'll work it out, and we'll get you the steps to get out of a very violent, volatile situation.

[Bert]

That is really amazing of you to give your cell phone out and. Or out like that. You're going to be busy today.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

No problem.

[Bert]

Unfortunately, you're gonna be busy.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

This is why we're here.

[Bert]

All right? Again, the name of the organization is Jaden's Ladder. And Oneita, I'm gonna put you on hold for a second also, okay?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Okay.

[Bert]

And I just want to put one more call on with you because Andrea is ready to come pick you up right now. Hey, Andrea.

[Glenda]

Hi.

[Bert]

Hi. Go ahead. You're on with Glenda.

[Glenda]

Glenda, I'll come pick you up right now. There's no reason. Just call me and I will come get you. Thank you so much.

[Bert]

Has this happened to you, too?

[Glenda]

No, I just know friends that are dead because of it, and I don't want to see anybody else die.

[Bert]

I mean, it's that serious. Glenda, you know this. You're in it. But, I mean, hearing that, I mean, she's had friends that have died. You got to get out of this thing. You got to get out today. You know,

[Glenda]

I do know that. And, I mean, I've left so many times and went back thinking, you know, that it's going to change and it's going to get better, and. And I know in my heart that it's not.

[Jen]

Do your children know what's going on?

[Glenda]

My oldest son does, and he has totally removed himself from the situation. He doesn't talk to me because he says, mom, why don't you leave? And until you've walked in my shoes, you know, I keep saying, don't judge me because it's not that easy.

[Bert]

Let me put you on somebody that at least we can end on a positive note. This is somebody that's gotten out of the same situation you're in. Hey, Dawn.

[Betsy]

Hi.

[Bert]

Hi. Can you give Glenda some hope here?

[Glenda]

I'm sorry. Can you say again?

[Bert]

Can you give Glenda some hope here?

[Glenda]

Yes. I just wanted to let her know that I went through it. I thought I was nothing. That man had just brought me down. And I got out, and there is somebody who will love you. Even though he says there's nobody that will take you. It is the best thing that could ever happen to you. You're gonna be free. Just believe him, and you'll be free. Oh, I'm trying to get there.

[Bert]

All right, well, we're gonna. We're gonna put you in touch with Jaden's ladder here and Oneida, and she's gonna get you the help. If you really want it today, we're gonna get you out of there.

[Glenda]

Thank you, Bert. I appreciate it.

[Bert]

Glenda, don't hang up, okay? I'm gonna put you on hold.

[Jen]

Glenda, you had the courage enough to call, so that means you have the courage enough to admit it and to leave. So make this be the last time you ever make a call like this, okay?

[Glenda]

Thank you.

[Bert]

This is the bird show. Listen, it's the bird show. You know, generally, it's pretty light stuff on a Monday morning because we're all just trying to get back into the week. But some things can't be ignored, you know? And if you're a new listener to the show, we try to keep it as light for you as we can. But sometimes things are so serious that we got to go off on a path we didn't see coming. And this morning, we were talking about Rihanna and her interview on. On Friday night with Diane Sawyer and domestic violence. And about 15 minutes ago, we got a call from a Birch show listener, Glenda, who was saying she was going through the exact same thing, and she had nowhere to turn. Every time she walks into the house, she has no idea what her. Is it boyfriend or husband?

[Katie]

Husband.

[Bert]

Husband is gonna do. He's been knocking her around. She still goes back time and time again. So she called us up this morning, and it just started this firestorm of calls. And we got Jayden's ladder on that specifically works with cases just like this.

[Jen]

Yeah, we worked with Jayden's letter this weekend. They help survivors of domestic violence get out and stay out, and they support them for two years following, leaving their abuser.

[Bert]

Here's Preston. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Hey, good morning. How are you?

[Bert]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller/Listener 1]

I'm well. I'm well. Thank you for answering my call.

[Bert]

Sure. What's going on?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Well, I was listening to the story. And you know, it touched me. It made me want to call in because sometimes men get a bad rap, you know. And what about those men who. Being abused by the woman? It is true that interviews a relationship. My wife is, I just feel like she's the most angry, hateful woman in the world. I love her to death. Don't get me wrong. I love her. But what made me want to call in was the point where Glenda said that she's not well. Someone asked her if she was able to contact her family and talk to her with her family or was there a point where, you know, she lost contact with the family. And that struck me. I was like, wow. Because I've always been close with my family and I've always had the feeling that this woman is angry and she just abusing, you know, she's mentally abusive to me. But then when I heard the point, the part when she said, have you been disconnected from your family? I was like, wow, this is, you know, it was a light bulb went off. I'm really, I really am in abusive relationship because I'm at the point where I'm disconnected from my family now, you

[Bert]

know, and it's, I think it's a, you know, we'll get Oneita back on here from Jaden's Ladder. But. And I don't have any experience in this area, but I know as a guy, it does have a different texture to it because you can't go to your guy friends about it because you're, you're a man. That's not. You don't go to other guys for help because your girlfriend or your wife is abusive to you. It's just not something you do. We got, you know, stupid guy pride.

[Caller/Listener 1]

You know, it sounds funny. It's like, haha, you're a wimp, you know, Right. Like, what kind of man am I then if, if I'm willing to be, be you know, subtle and patient and, and not, you know, beat my wife, but I allow it to happen to me. I mean, I questioned myself at that point.

[Bert]

Hey, Oneita.

[Glenda]

Yes.

[Bert]

Did you hear Preston here?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Yeah, I did. And you know what, Preston? You're a great man. First of all, it doesn't make you weak because you don't hit a woman or you don't verbally abuse a woman. But you know what, I get a lot of calls from men like you, so don't feel that you're alone. They do not come out as often. But I do get a lot of calls that there is that situation for the man also. And because it's that same situation, it doesn't mean it's less dangerous for you. You've heard of the wife that runs the guy over, or you know, the wife that, you know. You hear it on the news. The wife that stabs the man and they find, you know, the family dead. This is serious stuff, whether you're a female or a male. So the same situation, you need to get out. You need to find actually for men, I asked them to find a codependency group because there's men and women in that group, and so you don't feel that you're so alone because there aren't many agencies that directly deal with men. You're also able to call me if you'd like, and I can talk you through this. However, look for a codependency group. Go in there, talk about. That's what you. That's what's starting all of this. Right now, you're feeling codependent upon your. Your partner, and she's being very abusive and taking advantage of you. And it can become a very serious situation. It doesn't mean you're weak, Preston, because you know that you don't. You don't react back to her. It just means you're a great guy and you have heart and you don't want to hurt another person the way they've hurt you. So the same situation, Preston. Get out of the situation. I've heard of men that. The wife takes the financial control. So take. Get some money put aside, get all your financial documents, get all your passports, birth certificates, put it in a safe deposit box, give it to a friend, and get out.

[Caller/Listener 1]

And I heard you mention that to Glenda, heard you say to do that. You. Here's the thing. I left my wife over. I left about five times. About five times. And I've come back each time. She's always begged me to come back, and I always come back mainly for my children. We have two children together.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Exactly. Yeah, I hear you. That's what I did. That's what a lot of women do. But you know what, What I tell men. Do you want. Do you have a boy or a little girl?

[Caller/Listener 1]

I have two girls.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Okay, now, do you want. Where it's the same situation. Think about it. What advice you'd give to your child. You know, if you're. If your daughter came to you at 18 years old because she saw that you were. You were being abused, and. And she allows that to happen to herself because she sees this in the household. So, you know, do you. What do you think your child, at that point, don't you know you have children? I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[Caller/Listener 1]

No, I mean, that's. That's one of the issues that we have. She likes to attack me in front of the children. And I tell her. I asked her. Well, I do tell her, because I get a little upset myself, but I asked her not to do that. But she does it constantly.

[Bert]

Preston, if this was your baby girl and she was calling you, you would drive down to her house and you would pull her as a father, you would pull her out of her situation. So why aren't you doing that for yourself?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Pull my children out of the situation?

[Bert]

Yeah, pull yourself out yourself and your children.

[Caller/Listener 1]

That's what I want to do, but I don't know how to do that. I don't have. I don't have. I don't know how.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Okay. Again, call me, Preston. My number is 60320. I will help you and give you the tools to get out of that relationship. If it's financial, we'll help you to, you know, emotional. We'll find a group for you. We will try to get you into temporary housing until we can get you into our group, possibly. But I need for you to find that strength, because if she. Imagine that the mental abuse she's giving to you and possibly physical abuse, Preston, your kids are seeing that, and they think that, okay, in that household. And I'm telling you, 10 years from now, you're going to be in therapy with your child because your child's been being beaten, your child is being in an abusive situation. And it's. And it stems from this day, this phone call, as to why that they're in that situation. So I need for you to understand this is the cycle. This is what they talk about. And if you can break the cycle now, you are actually helping your child, your daughters in the future, not to get caught up in the cycle, not to be the abuser and not to be the abuse.

[Bert]

And, you know, Preston, I need you to get it. I've said this before on the show also, that as a parent, you not only have a responsibility for your own kids, but you're also forming attitudes for every generation after you also. So if this is what your kids are learning, that's the way they're gonna parent, and that's what their kids are gonna see also. Somebody's gotta stop it, man.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Right.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Exactly.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Exactly. I would love some. Some type of gateway. I just need help. I need help. I really do, because I don't know what. I don't know how to do it myself.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Call me. Call me. But if you. If you don't want to call me, go on the Internet, find a codependency program in your area. Go in there. And that's the start of. Start of your healing process, is to find out why this is happening to you, why you're allowing this. You might have experienced abuse. Just settle abuse like this. Not. Not like this. I'm saying, like subtle abuse where you saw your. Your mom attack your dad in this way, and you think it's okay. So it's been a cycle in your life, and this is the reason why I need you to break the cycle with your kids.

[Bert]

Let me put you on hold. Okay, Preston? And we'll get. We'll get her phone number into your hands. Okay?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Thank you.

[Bert]

Hold on.

[Jen]

He's really brave for coming forward.

[Bert]

I mean, that goes against. I mean, it goes against what we're taught as you dudes, you know, like, take care of it yourself. You can't go to your other friends. You can't go to your guy friends and say that your wife is beating you up because they'll ridicule you.

[Jen]

And it's the same. He was feeling the exact same way that Glenda was, you know, that she didn't know how to leave. She kept going back. She, you know, didn't put herself first in that situation.

[Bert]

Hey, Michelle. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Glenda]

Hi. I just want to say that you guys, I've been battling this for five years now, and it's like every time I turn around, there's something hitting me in the face to say, this is you. This is you. Because you really. I have to defend these people. You have. You question it. You think it's you, and. And I don't know how to leave. I think it's me. I. I mean, I can't even make new friends. Every person I make friends with, he calls them and tells them never to call, call me back. And all I have is him, besides my kids, and they're not his kids, but I have nobody else, you know, so I. He makes it to where I have to depend on him, and that's. That's what they do.

[Jen]

You allow that abuse to happen in front of your kids?

[Glenda]

I don't allow it. I don't have a choice because I'm not financially able to take my four children out of this home and provide for them.

[Bert]

Where can she turn these? Now you're talking to women.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Jaden's the latter, Call us. We can help. And the other problem is that what you have to think about is if you're not financially independent right now and he comes home and he hurts you where you don't recoup from it, your kids are not. They have nobody to go to, you know, so think of the big picture. I really want you to realize the importance. It's not a choice between getting abused and keeping a safe home for your kids. You're not safe. And if you die, your kids have that person to live with for the rest of their lives. Bye. Bye, Gary. Okay, so you know what? It's okay to feel that and get out. And we'll try to find some financial help for you so that you can be safe and your kids can be safe. And you need to get out of the situation. I understand that everybody's issue out there right now is about financial, you know, it's the money. I can't get out because I don't have a job. We can help you to get a job. You can work, you can be independent, you can go back to school. We can get you there. Or some organization that I can work with can get you there. We can do this together. Don't feel that you're alone out there, but you will be. Your kids, Kids will be alone. If you continue this path and something happens to you, they have nobody.

[Bert]

Onita, I can almost hear, like this desperation in your voice. Is this the kind of situation where every second counts?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

It really is. I think that we get used to being in a home where abusive and volatile and you don't realize how dangerous it is because you live it day to day. I understand how you're feeling, so. And I didn't realize it until I was fighting for my life. So, you know, let's not make it that to that situation where it's too late and we read about you in the papers or we hear about you on the Burton, you know, get out and be that success story. Be a survivor. I want all you guys out there that are listening, you can become a survivor. I've done it. I've gone back. I've been beaten. And now I'm, you know, we started this organization and you can do this. If I can do it, you can do it. You really can. And there is support out there. Just, you know, by you calling and reaching out, this is your first step. It's not going to be scary from this point on. We can help.

[Jen]

I think it really is amazing that, Oneita, you've been through this yourself. And so, you know, and that's where your emotion lies, to help everyone because you know where they've been.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Oh, I know my family told me to leave numerous amount of times and I wouldn't because I felt that they need, you know, Aaron would call me and every time I left and he'd say he loved me. You know, we don't meet these guys and immediately they hit us and we're like, oh, I love you. We fall in love with these guys. So that's why it's so hard because we fell in love with this person and we don't understand who this other person is that's coming forth and we think we can save them. We cannot save these people. They have to save themselves. You know, and if they do get the help, that's all good. But for the ones that don't, and that's the majority of them, they're dangerous people. So that's where I, you know, it. It became a dangerous situation for me. This is a guy that I loved, you know, and cared about and he almost killed me. And I know your position girls out there and gentlemen. So that's why I'm saying you're used to it. You think you can handle it. But it's a bigger situation than what you can handle. So just come and seek help.

[Bert]

Oneita, what's the website again?

[Oneita Bobbitt]

Www.jaden with an S jaden gladder.org 800 number is 866-430-1118 or myself. Everybody's calling me. I'm taking the call. 603-205-4746. I will help you and all that

[Bert]

information is going to be up on our website. You are awesome to give out your cell phone number. You really.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

No problem. This is what we're here for.

[Bert]

You aren't expecting this today where you thought you know what the big party was Saturday night. I'll relax on Monday. No problem. We're not going to have any of that. All right. Don't even. Thanks for all your help.

[Oneita Bobbitt]

You know what? Thank you guys. You guys did a fabulous job. Thanks for keeping the word out. You're saving lives. God bless you guys.

[Bert]

Thanks Anita, again and all that information. You do have a place to turn. That's Jaden's ladder. This is the bird show.