The Bert Show - Full Show: PT 2 Tuesday, November 4 [Vault]

Air Date: November 4, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Burt, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Melissa Carter, Jen, Phil Tyranna, Paige Desorbo, Adam Grant, and guests

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show leans into the show’s signature blend of laughs, authenticity, and real talk, tackling a handful of headline-worthy, eyebrow-raising, and relatable listener dilemmas. Standout topics include: debating privacy and ethics in relationships, creative office vengeance over food theft, the awkward boundaries (or lack thereof) of step-sibling romance, and a crash course on surviving a NASCAR Sunday as a newbie.

Buckle up for passionate debate, candid confessions, and classic Bert Show banter—perfect for anyone who wants a window into drama both absurd and deeply resonant.

Major Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Couples Court: Is Snooping on Your Spouse Ever Justified?

Timestamps: 01:52 - 20:25

Summary

Tom calls in with a dilemma: he read his wife’s journal—weekly, for a year—using it to “fix” his floundering marriage, only to be caught. The panel debates whether the end justified the means, while listeners and co-hosts sound off about trust, communication breakdowns, privacy, and what it really takes to save a relationship.

Key Topics Covered:

• Tom’s marriage troubles: marital disconnect, “talk of divorce” prior to snooping
• Tom discovers and reads his wife’s journal, learning she feels neglected (04:10–04:51)
• He makes behavioral changes (phone down at home, more attention), relationship improves
• Continued pattern: Tom checks the journal about once a week for a year (“progress reports”)
• Gets caught putting journal back in wrong place (06:22)
• Wife feels privacy was violated and trust broken; now, she’s furious and communication is worse

Panel Debate:

• Melissa Carter argues Tom misjudged his wife’s attempts at communication as “nagging,” using the journal as a non-threatening feedback loop (09:34)
  • “The reason I think you're at fault… is because that first time should have alerted you to… really improve your relationship with your wife is that to listen to her and not take it as criticism when she's saying it to you rather than when her journal's telling you.” —Melissa, 10:02
• Jen confesses she’d probably read her spouse’s journal too, but couldn’t keep the secret (16:50)
• Listeners weigh in—some congratulatory, others aghast at the privacy breach and “cheat sheet” dynamic
• Tension over whether improvements gained are “invalid” if built on secrecy

Memorable Quotes:

• “Is it really that bad, if it saved my marriage?” —Tom, 08:53
• “I believe that the relationship between a husband and wife should be completely open.” —Listener Ann, 13:24
• “If he's not willing to listen to her, it has not saved the relationship.” —Melissa, 10:48

Takeaway:
No clear consensus; the panel walks a fine line between justifying desperate measures and warning of deeper issues unresolved by surface fixes.

2. Office Lunch Theft: Petty Revenge or Justice?

Timestamps: 22:19 - 29:14

Summary

A classic office frustration: someone’s stealing lunches from the fridge. After an office-wide email hints at “special surprises” left for thieves, the Bert Show community unleashes their wildest revenge tales.

Key Topics Covered:

• The shame, frustration, and pettiness spawned by food theft at work
• Creative (and occasionally gross) retaliation tactics—including:
  • Orange juice refilled with urine (24:13)
  • Sandwiches spit on (25:32)
  • Tampon in lunchbox as deterrent (24:42)
  • Jalapeño juice on drink cans (27:32)
  • X-Lax in food (28:45)
  • Filming the thief and broadcasting it storewide after spitting in chocolate milk (29:26)
• Nostalgic reminiscing about high school pranks (ink on sandwich, pollen dust, etc.)

Memorable/Funny Quotes:

• “I got so sick of a man in my office eating lunch. I put a new unused tampon in my lunchbox. And it warded them off like garlic does a vampire.” —Caller, 24:42
• “She peed in her orange juice... later on that day, sure enough, somebody had drank it. But it never happened again.” —Melissa, 24:13
• “If you're stealing somebody else's food to me, you know what you're taking? All bets are off.” —Burt, 27:22

Takeaway:
Office lunch theft is a universal grievance, and when push comes to shove, collective creativity (sometimes bordering on criminal) reigns supreme.

3. First Date Friday Follow-up: Step-Siblings or Soulmates?

Timestamps: 30:28 - 44:02

Summary

Eric, who went out on a date with his former stepsister, returns to share how it went. The room divides as the cast and listeners debate if this is “gross,” “just weird,” or completely fine. Discussion turns candid about the line between family and romance, the implications of shared histories, and the reactions from friends and family.

Key Topics Covered:

• Social stigma and “ick factor” of dating a former step-sibling (no blood relation, parents now divorced)
• Eric’s recap of the date: drinks, party, growing romantic connection (33:10)
• Jen’s visceral discomfort vs. some co-hosts and several callers who see no problem
• Listeners share similar stories—many support Eric, a few, like Jen, are fiercely opposed
• Ongoing banter about the semantics of “family,” jokes about the South, and hypothetical family trees

Memorable Quotes:

• “I can't believe you're able to change the way you looked at this girl as your little sister all growing up, and now she's a sexual object for you. To me, I think you're really demented and you should end up on Maury Povich.” —Jen, 35:41
• “The only problem I can see with it because you aren't blood related, that it's gonna be difficult if you guys ever get married, that the church will have no center aisle because you don't need two sides. So when you come in, are you, you know, with the groom's family or the bride's family? You just say yes, and with the family.” —Phil Tyranna, 37:10
• "Most are calling up saying, there's nothing wrong with this. To me, it's just icky, man." —Burt, 40:35

Takeaway:
Taboo is in the eye of the beholder. The Bert Show leans into the discomfort, humor, and ambiguity that come when love, family, and history collide.

4. Culture Crash Course: NASCAR 101 for the Uninitiated

Timestamps: 46:04 - 52:38

Summary

Melissa Carter, swept up in the “honeymoon phase” of a new relationship with a NASCAR superfan, gets schooled in the essentials for surviving (and enjoying) her first Daytona 500.

Key Topics Covered:

• Phil Tyranna gives Melissa “rules” for her first NASCAR viewing party:
  • Never take Dale Earnhardt’s name in vain (49:13)
  • Diet of all things fried or buffalo’d; beer only—preferably Budweiser (49:51)
  • Red wine is only permitted from a box
  • Dress code: pit-stained T-shirts, wife beaters, and homemade gear are expected
  • Bring “charcoal, dog food, or motor oil” as hostess gifts
• Panel lightly ribs Southern stereotypes while celebrating their own regional quirks

Memorable Quotes:

• “If you even walk up on that front porch with a Zima or a Takiza, it will be discarded, it will be poured out, and you will be sent to the local convenience store." —Phil Tyranna, 51:01
• “Only from a box, right?” —Melissa Carter on wine, 51:43

Takeaway:
Lean in, have fun, and respect the regional rituals—even if it means eating hush puppies off a weight bench.

Notable Quotes & Highlights

• “Is it really that bad, if it saved my marriage?” (Tom, 08:53)
• “If he's not willing to listen to her, it has not saved the relationship.” (Melissa Carter, 10:48)
• “If you're stealing somebody else's food to me, you know what you're taking? All bets are off.” (Burt, 27:22)
• “I think you're really demented and you should end up on Maury Povich.” (Jen on the step-sibling date, 35:41)
• “Never, ever, ever, under any circumstance, ever, take the name of Dale Earnhardt in vain.” (Phil Tyranna, 49:13)

Timestamps - Important Segments

• 01:52: Tom’s journal snooping story begins
• 06:22: Tom gets caught by his wife
• 10:02 – 12:17: Deep dive: Is listening by reading really better than “nagging”?
• 16:50: Jen: “I would absolutely read it… but then I’d tell him about it”
• 22:19: Opening of ‘stolen lunches at work’ revenge stories
• 24:13: Melissa’s “orange juice” office revenge
• 30:28: First Date Friday—step-sibling romance follow-up
• 33:10: Eric details his date with his former stepsister
• 35:41: Jen: “You should end up on Maury Povich.”
• 46:04: Melissa’s “NASCAR education” segment
• 49:13: NASCAR party “rules”
• 51:43: Red wine: only from a box!

Final Thoughts

This episode showcases why The Bert Show remains a morning staple: no topic—whether cringe or common—is off-limits; debates are robust and often hilarious, and the team’s open, authentic style creates a forum where real life’s tangled messes can breathe. Whether you’re seeking relationship advice, office solidarity, or just tips on surviving your first round of NASCAR Sunday, you’re in good company here.