Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, August 12 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, August 12 [Vault]
Air Date: August 12, 2026

---

Episode Overview

This lively installment of The Bert Show centers on authentic, humorous stories from the hosts’ real lives and a classic “Love Lost and Found” segment, where a listener named Brian enlists the show’s help tracking down a woman he met but subsequently lost contact with. The episode weaves together parent-child dynamics, comic boating misadventures, and the realities of radio internship life, always peppered with the cast’s signature off-the-cuff banter.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

---

1. Parenting & The Mystery of Kids’ Secrets

[00:46–04:35]

• Main Story:
  Bert describes discovering—at the last minute—that his son Hayden had secretly been the lead in a school play ("Where the Wild Things Are") after rehearsing for 30 days.
• Parental Concern:
  Bert and the team reflect on kids’ reluctance to share, wondering why Hayden withheld such a big part of his life.
• Discussion Points:
  • Sometimes children, and even adults, don't communicate important events because they seem routine to them.
  • Bert emphasized to Hayden the significance of sharing all aspects of his day, reinforcing parental interest in even the "little things."
• Memorable Quote:
  “Every little thing that you do is important to your mom and I, so don’t think that there’s anything that goes on in your day that we’re not interested in.” — Bert [04:01]

---

2. Boating Blunders & “Manly” Adventures

[04:41–12:00]

• Main Story:
  Brandon recounts his bumbling-yet-macho attempt at operating a WaveRunner on the lake, only to end up stranded and forced into an embarrassing rescue.
• Themes:
  The “performance” of masculinity, playful teasing among the cast, and the gulf between how we hope we appear versus reality.
• Notable Moments:
  • The cast pokes fun at Brandon’s terminology (“toppy part,” “ring thing”) and his “manly leap” turning into an awkward stumble.
  • The story ends with self-deprecating humor about calling for professional help.
• Funny Exchange:
  “Maybe one of you guys can call me back when you grow a penis. But right now, Bert and I are having a conversation about mechanics.” — Brandon [06:45]

---

3. Love Lost and Found: Brian Searches for Lauren

[13:22–49:45]

A. Brian’s Story

• Background:
  Brian met Lauren at a club in East Atlanta. She was friendly, tall (5’9’’ short dark hair), a hairstylist living in Grant Park, working in Marietta. He got her number, then lost his phone on a bike ride.
• Search Attempts:
  • Brian pedaled (and later walked) for miles retracing his steps, called salons, checked online reviews/bios, and even visited salons in person.
  • He received encouragement and ribbing from the cast for his “romantic” persistence.
• Relatable Moments:
  • The cast jokes about the perils and embarrassment of wearing a phone belt holster, losing numbers, and chasing serendipity.
• Critical Quotes:
  “You can replace the phone, but the possibility that you’re gonna get through meeting a new person... that’s not really replaceable.” — Brian [16:34]
  “It’s just like some movie, serendipity.” — Salon receptionist (as relayed by Brian) [18:50]

B. The Audience Steps In

[26:09–34:11]

• Callers Provide Leads:
  • Listeners provide possible salon names (“Clairbourne’s,” “Elan Salon,” “313”) and details based on Brian’s description.
  • The community demonstrates collective detective work and support, fueling the ongoing search.

C. The Big Break

[49:01–49:45]

• Final Lead:
  • A caller recognizes Lauren as her best friend, confirming she works at “Claybord’s,” has the right physical description, and lives in Grant Park.
  • The show commits to putting Brian in touch with Lauren live on air the next morning.
• Panel’s Celebratory Reaction:
  “All right. Don’t give up hope again. I think this is pretty strong, man.” — Bert [33:33]

---

4. Behind the Scenes: Intern Work Ethic Debate

[36:28–48:00]

• Intern Culture Insight:
  Jen (intern coordinator) observes that, over her eight years, male interns tend to slack off on behind-the-scenes work once they get a taste of on-air time, compared to the consistently diligent female interns.
• In-Studio Reactions:
  • Brandon and other interns both defend themselves and admit the grueling early hours can be “tolling.”
  • The conversation serves as both in-joke and a window into the real-life, less-glamorous realities of radio work.
• Discussion Broadens:
  Bert poses, “Are young women, in your experience, more reliable than young men?” — leading to a broader, sometimes tongue-in-cheek debate about work ethic and gender.
• Notable Quotes:
  “It just seems that this trend sort of repeats its pattern.” — Jen Fallon [40:20]
  “Do you realize the paperwork that you have to do to fire a woman in this world... It’s not like the old days!" — Brandon [48:08]

---

Memorable Quotes

• On Parenting:
  “Every little thing that you do is important to your mom and I, so don’t think that there’s anything that goes on in your day that we’re not interested in.” — Bert [04:01]
• On Romantic Persistence:
  “You can replace the phone, but the possibility that you’re gonna get through meeting a new person... that’s not really replaceable.” — Brian [16:34]
• On Internships & Gender:
  “It just seems that this trend sort of repeats its pattern.” — Jen Fallon [40:20]
• On Male Interns’ On-Air Transformation:
  “Once they get on the air, their behavior on all of the responsibilities off the air completely changes.” — Jen Fallon [38:59]
• On Performing Masculinity:
  “Maybe one of you guys can call me back when you grow a penis. But right now, Bert and I are having a conversation about mechanics.” — Brandon [06:45]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Parenting and the School Play Story — [00:46–04:35]
• Brandon’s Boating Misadventure — [04:41–12:00]
• Love Lost and Found: Brian’s Search For Lauren — [13:22–34:11] & [49:01–49:45]
• Intern Work Ethic & Gender Debate — [36:28–48:00]
• Brian Locates Lauren Through a Listener Connection — [49:01–49:45]

---

Episode Tone & Style

True to The Bert Show’s brand, the tone is conversational, unguarded, and full of in-group humor. The cast is quick to poke fun at themselves and each other, tackle awkward subjects head-on, and invite the audience to become part of their world — whether by crowdsourcing a lost romantic connection or by sharing real behind-the-scenes frustrations.

---

Summary Takeaway

This episode blends relatable parenting struggles, comedic mishaps, the thrill of romantic “serendipity,” and authentic workplace gripes, all delivered with warmth, honesty, and plenty of laughs. Through the “Love Lost and Found” saga, the passionate radio community comes together to help one of their own — a microcosm of the show's larger purpose: escaping daily drudgery and connecting people, one authentic story at a time.

Transcript

[Jen Fallon]

Support is available 247 with VRBoCare. We're here day or night, ready whenever you need help. Because a great trip starts with the right support.

[Bretzky]

What's going on everyone? It's bluff here. And you know what's more American than America's 250th birthday? Supporting American owned companies like Spinquest, America's number one social casino. With over a thousand games like live dealer, Blackjack and and craps. They're offering new users a 30 coin package for just $10. Go to spinquest.com and sign up today.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Bert]

It's the virt show. All right, parents. Lord, do I need your help My little heart broke Lord, Lord, she brought

[Melissa]

up the Lord's name Bless his heart Lord, I need your help Doing the

[Bert]

best I can Doing the best I can 1-877-7588 Bert B E R T so we found out last week that Hayden was the lead in a school play.

[Melissa]

It's awesome.

[Bert]

It's really great, isn't it? Except he never told us about it and he was rehearsing for 30 days. Every night at the dinner table. I say to him, hayden, tell me about your day. Or as soon as he comes in from school, hayden, tell me about your day. Oh, same, same, same, same. You know, did Spanish, you know, PE today, learned a couple of new words. 30 days rehearsing for the lead in where the Wild Things Are. Not one word.

[Brandon]

He was a little Max, dude.

[Bert]

Yeah, it was Max, man. And all the other parents said that they killed it. But we found out about it the, the day of the play. Some parent called Stacy and said, hey, look, I know you got, you're going to be there late today, so would you mind driving my kid home also? And Stacy said, what are you talking about? And their mom said, well, you know, you know the play today, Hayden, Max, where the Wild Things Are.

[Brandon]

It's not even like he was like a bush in one of the scenes and all he had to do was wave or something. He was the lead, man.

[Bert]

The lead. The lead in the whole thing.

[Wendy]

But it's the same thing we did with our parents, though.

[Bert]

I don't know, man. 30 straight days.

[Brandon]

No, see, with my parents it was. Cause I had a boring existence. Now here's where I think when we talked about this in la, because Hayden's been acting ever since, you know, forever, right? So it may not be that big of a deal to him, to all of us. It would be a big deal to be the lead in a play, right?

[Jen Fallon]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So think of this stuff that even as adults, some of the stuff that we neglect to tell people about our world, that is exciting because. Because it becomes somewhat routine to us. For example, when we talk to Crystal Bowersox. It's a huge deal. She was almost one American Idol. You know, she got the sad, cool story about her boyfriend dumping her the morning of the performance show and all that stuff. Very neat. To 90% of the world. There's a chance that we would forget to tell our significant others that we're having that conversation only because it becomes kind of routine for us. Right.

[Bert]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

So even as adults, could you see, I don't know.

[Bert]

I think he had a problem separating, like a school play from something he's been doing outside. Like he felt it was a school activity, but he still should have told us about it, you know? So I had to talk to him the other day.

[Melissa]

I mean, is it a play where the public was invited to come, parents were coming to see it?

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

I mean, I think that's where the difference is, is the fact that it's something he didn't tell you that you would have been able to go to.

[Bert]

Yeah. So I sat him down last week and I said, look, you're not in trouble, man. You're not in trouble at all. I just want to let you know that every little thing that you do is important to your mom and I so don't think that there's anything that goes on in your day that we're not interested in. Because I think that he just thought, you know, it's not a big deal. Even though every day we say to him, I'm guessing, you know, I don't think you can put the responsibility on the child in that. In that case, it's something I didn't make. Some kind of connection, something there where he didn't know.

[Jen Fallon]

What did he say?

[Bert]

He said that his response was that he was trying to surprise us, which was just a BS by not telling you at all. Well, then I guess then maybe in his head he forgot to tell us at the end. I don't know. It was a BS answer anyway. I don't know.

[Jen Fallon]

So you really never got an explanation?

[Bert]

Never really did. So for me, the important part was just letting them know everything is important, dude. So tell us every little thing.

[Brandon]

And tonight you're gonna have a six hour dinner with Hayden.

[Bretzky]

This is the Birch Show.

[Brandon]

So I was up at the lake for Memorial Day, weekend. You know, doing stuff. You know, lake stuff and boating stuff. Boating is very manly. You ever seen a man on a boat? Please try to. Jen, you were there. So disregard the fact that when it almost sank Wendy's, the one who saved it two years ago.

[Jen Fallon]

I did see that.

[Brandon]

Disregard that.

[Jen Fallon]

We'll ignore that right now.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Thank you.

[Jen Fallon]

Okay.

[Cassie]

But you know, the sinking boat, you're

[Brandon]

doing very manly, boaty things.

[Bert]

You ever actually work on the engine and stuff like that?

[Brandon]

I know where it is.

[Bert]

You ever actually work on the engine and stuff like that?

[Brian]

Mm.

[Melissa]

Okay, look who's asking you.

[Bert]

Yeah, I would never. I could never. I wouldn't even know where the engine was. At least he got that right.

[Brandon]

I actually. There was one time. It was last year when I couldn't start it for whatever reason, so I took the. The toppy metal ish part off.

[Bert]

Is that the.

[Melissa]

Is it an inboard or outboard motor?

[Bert]

Yes.

[Melissa]

All right, go ahead.

[Brandon]

No, it's a jet. It's a jet boat. Okay, so it's a jet. It's a jet engine. It is. It's a level of dangerous that you can't even imagine.

[Jen Fallon]

I'm sorry.

[Melissa]

I don't mean to encroach upon your. Upon your mat.

[Brandon]

It's actually a twin. Twin jet engine.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Brandon]

All right, so why don't you back up?

[Bert]

Even more powerful.

[Brandon]

A couple years ago, I actually did take the top. The toppy part off with the.

[Jen Fallon]

Is that the textbook term, the toppy part?

[Brandon]

And I took that off in the thing around it, and I took that out.

[Melissa]

If listeners could see your hand motions. He's trying to explain it to his kind of pictionary style and kind of. Go ahead.

[Brandon]

Boat owners understand.

[Jen Fallon]

Sounds like two syllables.

[Brandon]

And so. And then when I put it back on, the boat started. So technically, I fixed the boat. Not 100% certain.

[Melissa]

So you took the toppy part off and then put the top part back on, and then the boat started.

[Brandon]

No, and I took the toppy part off. I took the ring thing out. I put the ring thing back on. I put the toppy part back on.

[Melissa]

I'm sorry. Okay. I missed the ring.

[Bert]

I'm with you. Technically, you fixed it.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Right, right. And it started right up.

[Melissa]

And you could have died doing it. I know.

[Brandon]

There's gasoline.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Brandon]

And jet engines.

[Melissa]

Explosive. Explosiveness.

[Bert]

Could have pinched your finger between the top and the bottomy thing.

[Brandon]

The choppy thing in the bottom of you thing. You know what I'm talking about?

[Bert]

Yeah, man. Could have got a bad blood blister

[Brandon]

okay, maybe one of you guys can call me back when you grow a penis. But right now, Bert and I are having a conversation about mechanics.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Bert]

You want to take that one with us?

[Melissa]

I've been trying and trying and trying, so if God would just let me.

[Brandon]

So we have some friends who have WaveRunner up on the lake, and we get to use it because they don't go up as often as we do. So they're like, you keep it gassed up and run it and take care of it, and it's. You know, keep it clean, and it's yours. I'm like, sure, yeah.

[Jen Fallon]

So does that have a tappy part and ringy thing, too?

[Brandon]

Shut up. Don't even pretend to know. You can't even drive on 285 without getting a flat so that you didn't

[Melissa]

know how to fix.

[Brandon]

So I went over. Brandon was there, and so was the hero truck.

[Wendy]

I'm just saying.

[Brandon]

I'm trying to tell a story.

[Bert]

Didn't you wait for Brandon? Then he showed up and started doing the tire.

[Brandon]

So anyways, the waverunner is at our friend's dock. So we pull up, and then this is. I say to Jessica, I'm like, hey, just put the nose into the dock. And I will leap from the moving boat onto the stationary dock.

[Brian]

Oh, boy.

[Brandon]

And take and roll on out of here. And there's people there. It's Memorial Day weekends. There's people on the dock and having a good time. People around, and this is all good. So I nose right up, and I make. Man, it was a beautiful, masculine leap from the running boat, moving boat, onto the. The dock. Man, I jumped right on there. Like, no problem, right?

[Melissa]

No.

[Brian]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Bert]

How far away was it?

[Brandon]

Yeah, like three feet, man. It was a leap that was manly,

[Bert]

so about six inches.

[Brandon]

And there were sharks.

[Jen Fallon]

You're such a boaterman.

[Brandon]

Lake sharks. So then I start calling you cat. I stepped over to the Wave.

[Jen Fallon]

You're looking like a J. Crew model.

[Brandon]

I stepped over to the Wave Runner, you know, and I had my life jacket on, but it wasn't buckled.

[Melissa]

Because you living on the edge.

[Wendy]

That's right.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I'm safe, but not too safe.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Bert]

I will not hook that left buckle.

[Brandon]

I go over to the waverunner, and I untie the cable at the front. You know, the thing. It's on the little floaty ramp thing. And then I actually use the weight of my body, and I pick up the front of the waverunner, and I have to push it back into the water. Yeah, you Know, because that's how you get it off the ramp. When I do that and then I step on the little side thing, I swing my leg around. I mean, it was Bow and Luke Duke jumping across the front of the General Lee.

[Melissa]

Man, Duke's a hazard.

[Brandon]

I hopped right on that.

[Bert]

Jumping and hopping and stretching. You sure this is your story?

[Brandon]

So manly, man. It was ridiculous. The only thing that would have made it cooler if I was wearing the morph suit. But I was on there, no problem. And I wave at Jessica. So she turns the boat around and speeds away. And I hit the start button. And that WaveRunner didn't start. So Jessica's gone and I'm floating on a non working Waverunner in choppy waters while people stare at me, wondering why I haven't started it yet.

[Bert]

Things you can't look cool doing.

[Melissa]

So did you start buckling that life?

[Brian]

I did at that point.

[Brandon]

I had to buckle that in order to leap off the Waverunner.

[Bert]

Oh, how come I couldn't hear the first help out of your mouth? The first.

[Brandon]

I didn't let out a help. I just jumped off the Waverunner with my life jacket into water that was more shallow than I thought it was. So I fell.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

Oh.

[Brandon]

And then. And then walked. And then pulled the rope and walked the waverunner over to the shore which was very rocky and I mean like big rock, like bouldery rock.

[Melissa]

So that was a stumbling rock.

[Brandon]

Stumbly walk up the hill and your

[Jen Fallon]

toesy woesies were hurting you.

[Bretzky]

Sure they were.

[Melissa]

I'm just imagining a little kid that pulls like they're you. The force on the wheels with the rope and everything. You got the Waverunner.

[Brandon]

So I called the Waverunner fixer place and they're gonna take care of it.

[Bert]

They're take care of that for you now.

[Jen Fallon]

That's real sweet of them, honey. Not so manly.

[Brandon]

It was good in the beginning, man.

[Jen Fallon]

Did your wifey come and rescue you

[Brandon]

that leap from the.

[Melissa]

Honey, can you come pick me up?

[Brandon]

The boat was moving. I mentioned that, right? I mean, it was probably going.

[Bert]

I mean, it was moving, he said. And it was in like two feet of water too.

[Brandon]

Well, I thought it was deeper. So mentally I was more frightened than the situation.

[Melissa]

I was just jumping off the wavefront, falling into the shallow water.

[Brandon]

I didn't realize how deep the water was with.

[Jen Fallon]

With your buckled life.

[Bert]

Somebody needs to invent TiVo for your life so we could just rewind and take us right back.

[Bretzky]

This is the Bird Show.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie and this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it y'. All, I took a look at my closet the other day, like truly looked at it and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never ever wear and it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet and I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now. You've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple and once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn and for a limited time you can enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[Bretzky]

What's up everybody? It's Bretzky and America is turning 250 and I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games, Live crabs, bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spinquest.com

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play Social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Thumbtack Announcer]

Thumbtack Presents Uncertainty Strikes I was surrounded the aisle and the options were closing in. There were paint rollers, satin and matte finish, angle brushes and natural bristles. There were too many choices. What if I never got my living room painted? What if I couldn't figure out what type of paint to use? What if I just used Thumbtack? I can hire a top rated pro that knows everything about interior paint, easily compare prices and read reviews. Thumbtack knows homes. Download the app today.

[Bert]

You're on the Birch show. All right, Wendy, explain again exactly how Love Lost and found works on the Birch Show.

[Wendy]

Well, love Lost and found is when you kind of meet somebody out, but through some sort of circumstances, you hit it off right away, but you end up either losing a phone number, not getting a phone number, but you're always thinking about this person. So you come on on the show, you give us a couple of details, some highlights of the person that you met. And we sort of asked the Burt show community on if they know this person and if we can find the person for you.

[Bert]

Here's why this story is so tragic. Because dude manned up. I mean, he gets the phone number. In a lot of cases. We'll get a guy calling up saying, look, everything was going so well. End of the night rolls around, or when we both left the supermarket, there was that. That second that I knew it and she knew it, and I could have gone in for the phone number, and. And I just chickened out, and I didn't do it.

[Brian]

And.

[Bert]

Okay, so we'll help you out in a case like that, but this has more honor to it.

[Jen Fallon]

Definitely.

[Bert]

Brian went in, man.

[Melissa]

He got the phone number.

[Bert]

Yes, he went in. What's going on, Brian?

[Brian]

Hey, what's going on? Bert, Jen, Jeff, Melissa, Wendy.

[Bert]

Hello.

[Melissa]

Hi.

[Bert]

It's a tragedy. I tell you. It's a tragedy.

[Brian]

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[Brandon]

His mood changed quickly. Hey, everybody.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Yep.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

Yeah.

[Bert]

All right, bring us back to that night, exactly where you were, and give us all the details leading up to where we are right now.

[Brian]

It was two Saturdays ago in east Atlanta. I was there with a buddy watching a jazz show, and we went into the. Can I name the club. We went into the graveyard toward the end of the night, and almost immediately, I ran into this girl that she commented on my height. I'm 6 9, and she's 5 9. So, you know, she's vertically. Very convenient to talk to in a club like that.

[Bert]

Vertically convenient.

[Brian]

But then she accidentally knocked my drink out of my hand, and she was embarrassed. You know, I teased her a little bit and.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Yeah.

[Brian]

But we kept talking, and eventually I just said, look, you know, we really ought to go out on a date. So got her number, and you kind of told the rest of the story. Left club, you know, feeling pretty happy, excited. Got up the next day, did my normal weekend stuff and decided to go to the. I don't know, there was some, like, walk around downtown bike thing. And I rode from Decatur down to downtown and reached for my phone, and it was gone. Oh, no. Yeah. And, you know, I've been trying to break this habit because apparently it's very unfashionable to wear your phone on your belt. Is that right, lady?

[Brandon]

No, if it's while you're riding a bike, I think it's totally cool.

[Brian]

Is it okay that way?

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Or use a magnet and put it right on your helmet.

[Bert]

Or you could always put it in your fanny pack.

[Melissa]

Yeah, well, I always find. I always find that guys that put, you know, have the holster on their belt that makes the phone go sideways is much cooler than going up and down.

[Brandon]

That's just so it doesn't push against your pantis.

[Brian]

Well, I was trying to break that habit. But anyway, so. So, you know, at that point, I immediately think of the number, and I'm like. I mean, the phone was not. Not a cheap phone, but you can replace the phone.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

The.

[Brian]

The possibility that you're gonna get, you know, through meeting a new person, though, I mean, that. That's not really replaceable. So. So I double back, and I'm, you know, like, pedaling my little heart out against traffic. People are honking at me, and finally, I get a flat tire.

[Melissa]

Oh, man.

[Brian]

Oh, yeah. And I'm like, is this a sign? Maybe I'm supposed to. Supposed to walk so I'll find the phone? No, I didn't find myself.

[Brandon]

So let me get this straight. At one point, there was a man walking his bike with one flat tire from Atlanta to Decatur with an empty fold holster on his belt, and no other beautiful woman pulled over to say hi to you?

[Brian]

Exactly.

[Bert]

Hard to believe.

[Jen Fallon]

Wow.

[Brian]

Everything came off.

[Wendy]

Don't ruin it, Jeff.

[Melissa]

Don't ruin this. I make an effort. He is risking his life going against traffic to find the phone to get his handbrake.

[Brian]

I mean.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Brian]

And later that night, I got a weird phone call. Somebody called, asked for Brian. I said, this is Brian, and he hung up. So I'm like, oh, man, this must be the guy. I had emailed my phone and said, look, there's a reward if you just, you know, just for the information on the phone.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

And.

[Brian]

And the guy hung up. I called back. He kept hanging up on me. And finally he started saying something like, I wouldn't give you that number if I had your phone. So I was feeling pretty bummed at that point. But, you know, after regrouping and thinking about it a little bit, I Googled what I did know about her, which is that she's a hairstylist, she lives in Grant park, she works in Marietta. And immediately I Started seeing reviews for stylists by her name. And so, you know, over the last course of the last week, I'm calling some of these salons and, you know, trying to figure out exactly, you know, a tactful way of saying, is there a Lauren that works there? And, you know, trying to get descriptions, get a description of them, and rule out the ones that I could find via the Internet like that. And I was able to do that by looking at some of the bios on the websites. And actually, last Saturday, I went into one in, and Marietta, and the receptionist was just freaking out. She was like, oh, my God, this is so romantic. It's just like some movie serendipity. And I was like, well, that's good, because I was afraid I was coming off like a stalker.

[Bert]

But maybe the serendipity was to meet the receptionist that thought it was really romantic. Have you thought of that? Did you hook up with her?

[Brian]

You know, it's kind of disingenuous to go in there with one goal in

[Melissa]

mind, and then, Burt, you're dating.

[Bert]

What does that have to do with being genuine?

[Melissa]

He got the number. That was a backup. If it doesn't work. Anyway, I'm no dummy, stupid. I'm six, nine.

[Jen Fallon]

How many different salons did you go through on the list looking for her?

[Brian]

About four. That I found that there was a definite, you know, person named Lauren working there. And most of those were either, like I said, off of online bios. And then I went in, you know, the other day, I was sitting in the parking lot going, man, are you really getting ready to go in there and just, you know, come out with a story to some stranger? But anyway, so, you know, and then I looked online, and there's only, like, I don't know, 300 or 400 salons in Marietta. So that, you know, at this point, I need the A team.

[Bert]

Yeah, here we are, man. We're here to save the day. I think you've got enough details here that I'm pretty confident we're gonna find her today, man. I really am. All right, so here's what we have. You guys met at the graveyard on what was the date?

[Brian]

22nd.

[Bert]

He remembers it like it was yesterday, man. I love that answer, dude.

[Jen Fallon]

You are so cute, Brian.

[Bert]

All right, 22nd at the graveyard in East Atlanta. You know, she's a hairstylist. You know, she lives in Grant Park. She works in Marietta. And we got a name, y'.

[Bretzky]

All.

[Bert]

It's Lauren.

[Wendy]

And she's five.

[Brian]

Lauren. Lauren L. A U R E N. Lauren. And she was with a friend that said she was German.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Did she look German?

[Brian]

You know, I didn't really get any definitive accents, but, I mean, it's kind of loud in there.

[Brandon]

Huge.

[Bert]

Did you get the name of the friend by any chance?

[Brian]

I didn't.

[Jen Fallon]

Okay, can you give us a physical?

[Brian]

Easy. I mean, she's. She's 5 9, and she's got short dark hair.

[Jen Fallon]

Short? How short?

[Brian]

Short. Like pretty short. Around the clipper, short on the sides.

[Jen Fallon]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Like to her head, short, short?

[Brian]

Yes.

[Jen Fallon]

Okay.

[Bert]

Asking about, like, clothing or anything like that doesn't do us any good because it was a week and a half ago. Short, dark hair, but she's.

[Jen Fallon]

Anything else. Like, is she from here?

[Brandon]

Describe her breasts.

[Jen Fallon]

This is a sweet story.

[Brian]

You know, I'm hesitant to go into trying to guess a woman's age. I would say.

[Bert]

No, don't answer it, dude. Don't, don't, don't, don't. You're smarter than that.

[Jen Fallon]

No, he was gonna guess her age. That's why it's not her bra size.

[Melissa]

I know, but I'm still saying.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Shh.

[Melissa]

I don't even try to guess her age.

[Brandon]

How much do you think she weighed?

[Bert]

Don't do it, Brian. Hold on one sec. I'm gonna put you on hold. I'll give the phone number out and we'll see if we can get any strong leads for you. Okay?

[Brian]

Good deal. Thank you.

[Bert]

All right, hold on.

[Brandon]

Did you pinch her sides at all, please?

[Jen Fallon]

And he's 6 9, so that's gonna be easy to remember if she hears it or if she told a friend about it.

[Bert]

I bet her phone is buzzing right now. Okay, so here's what we got. We got this guy Brian, who meets Lauren at the graveyard on the 22nd. They vibe it up big time. He loses his phone the next day. It has her phone number in it. He's a panic about it, right? Can't find her anywhere. He's gone online and searched for it also. Here's what we know, and here's who we're looking for. Her name is Lauren. She's 5 9. She's a hairstylist. She works in Grant Park. No, she works in Marietta, but she lives in Grant park and she's got short dark hair. That's what we're looking for. If you have any leads for us, like, even if you don't know her, if you might know the name of the salon she works at, give us a call and we'll follow those leads, but we need you guys to call.

[Bretzky]

Listen, it's the Birch Show.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

All.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

I took a look at my closet the other day, like truly looked at it and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet and I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now. You've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[Brian]

Ugh.

[Bretzky]

I have had no luck lately. Wait.

[Bert]

Lady Luck Britsky.

[Cassie]

I got you.

[Lady Luck]

I've had so much luck on spinquest.com they have all of my favorite games, slot games, live blackjack, craps and bubble craps. You can even get a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Bretzky]

10 bucks for 30. I'm headed over to spinquest.com right now.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Cassie]

Sleep Number's new collections are designed to adapt to the changing nature of your life and your sleep needs. Whether it's the personalized comfort of the Comfort Mode mattress, the targeted pressure relief of the Comfort Next mattress, or the climate collection that actively cools or warms to help you fall asleep and stay asleep.

[Bretzky]

And now get early access to our biggest sale of the year. Save 25% on the new ComfortNext Luxe for a limited time only at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com.

[Bert]

the bird show. We've been spending some good time here with Brian here in the middle of a love lost and found. Here's what we know about the girl that he's trying to track down right now.

[Brian]

Two Saturdays ago in East Atlanta, I was there with a buddy watching a jazz show. And we went into the. Can I name the club. We went into the graveyard toward the end of the night, and almost immediately I ran into this girl that she commented on my height. I'm 6 9, and she's 5 9. We kept talking, and eventually I just said, look, you know, we really ought to go out on a date. So, got her number, got up the next day, reached for my phone, and it was gone.

[Bert]

All right, that was Brian a couple of minutes ago. So here's what we know. We know that we are looking for Lauren. That's her name. We know that she is a hairstylist. And all hairstylists know each other. Y' all talking all the time. Y' all know each other. So she's up in Marietta. She lives in Grant Park. She's five nine. She has shortly.

[Melissa]

Convenient, vertically convenient.

[Bert]

And she has short, dark hair. So we don't have all that many leads. Brian. Not that many yet, which I'm surprised by. Here's Helen. Good morning. You were on the Burt Show.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Good morning, guys. I love your show. I listen every morning.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Okay. I might be able to help Brian out, but I don't know. I'm just putting something out there.

[Jen Fallon]

Good.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

A year ago, I dated a guy who was 7:2, which would make sense that Lauren would have mentioned something about his height, because that would have given them common ground if she thought he was cute. You know, about a year ago, she graduated from cosmetology school. She was living and working in a hair salon in that area. But it's been a year. I don't know if she's still there. And she keeps her hair cut real short, or at least she did a year ago. But her last name is Stegall. S T E G A L L

[Jen Fallon]

might be the girl.

[Bert]

This would be a stretch for sure.

[Wendy]

And which hair salon did you work?

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

I don't know. Him and I broke up and went our separate ways.

[Jen Fallon]

You know, how was she connected to him?

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

That was his niece. I dated him and she was his niece. And, you know, I had family dinners with him and everything. And she always kept her hair Cut really short. Cute look. I mean, just cute as she can be. Good job, Brian. If it's her. And I know she was living and working up in that area. Her dad lives in Smyrna, so, I mean, she stays up in that area. And I know she goes to a lot of clubs on the weekends, you know. Well, not a lot, but, you know, she likes the sea bands.

[Bert]

Well, we don't even know if it's the right girl at this point. So it'll be a real, real, real stretch here. So still, what we have here is Brian, who is looking for Lauren. We know she's five nine. We know they met a couple of weeks ago at the graveyard. We know that she's a hairstylist in Marietta and she lives in Grant Park. But outside of that, we don't have much, except that he's been busting his butt for the last couple of weeks to try to find her. He got her phone number, then he lost his phone.

[Jen Fallon]

Brian, are you in front of a computer anywhere? You could look up that name, maybe on Facebook and take a picture.

[Brian]

I was actually about to ask you guys that. But you wouldn't know what she looks like, would you?

[Jen Fallon]

You would have to be alone looking at it.

[Brian]

No, I'm actually. I'm actually driving.

[Jen Fallon]

Okay.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Brian]

Hands free. But driving.

[Bert]

1.877.588. Bert B E R T. If you have any clues on who she might be. Hey, Charay. Good morning. You are on the Burt Show.

[Brian]

Hi.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Good morning, guys.

[Jen Fallon]

Morning.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Hey. I don't know this girl personally, but last time I was getting my hair cut in the Elan Salon in Marietta. The hairstylist I used was moving and she said, hey, that's Lauren over there. You should use her next time you come in. She was pretty tall. She did not have really, really short hair at the time. But again, hairstylists, you know, change all the time.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

So delayed. There's a leaf.

[Melissa]

There's a Lauren and a salon in Marietta.

[Brian]

Yeah, we looked at that salon, too. I think they don't have bios online for that one, but that may have been one I haven't ruled out.

[Bert]

Yeah. If you're just joining in, Brian knew that she's a hairstylist, so he started calling all of these different salons in Marietta to try to find this girl. Here is Eric, perhaps with the lead. Good morning, Eric. You are on the Burt Show.

[Brian]

Hey, it's actually Garrett.

[Bert]

Yes, it is.

[Bretzky]

All right.

[Brian]

I actually went to school with Wendy. What's up, Wendy? And had a Suggestion for the caller to just check his phone records. Because if he called her that night. Yeah, that night. But there was no service in the club, so it never registered on the network. Yeah, man, I've done them all, dude.

[Brandon]

Have you considered.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

He's done everything.

[Melissa]

He has gone to the salons. He's called the salons. He checked phone records.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

Dang.

[Brandon]

Have you considered that maybe you're not supposed to be with her?

[Bert]

The forces are keeping you guys apart, man.

[Jen Fallon]

That's what serendipity is about.

[Brian]

People have said that, but I don't know. I think it was just a random, stupid mistake.

[Jen Fallon]

I think this is so romantic.

[Melissa]

I think you should go back to that receptionist, ask her out.

[Jen Fallon]

Hey, Mama's giving up.

[Melissa]

I've been working on it.

[Brian]

Okay, look, if we don't end up with any leads, then maybe we'll open it up for runners up.

[Jen Fallon]

Can't do that.

[Brian]

But I'd really like to reconnect with her, so hopefully. I don't know. Hopefully. Maybe. Maybe hairstylists sleep late.

[Bert]

Well, maybe. I mean, we got a couple more leads to go through here. And just as a side note, I got to tell you guys, you remember the love lost and found we did with the dude that break dances? Do you guys remember that? They met in a club. She saw him at a club, and he was breakdancing. You guys don't remember this?

[Jen Fallon]

Barely.

[Bert]

It was a long time ago, right?

[Brandon]

Yeah, like in 1981, when break dancing.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

No, that's what was.

[Bert]

The funny thing about the whole thing is that the dude was break dancing and she sort of spotted him, and they hit it off, and we did end up putting the two together. I saw them this weekend at some event, and they're still together.

[Brian]

Really?

[Bert]

Yes.

[Melissa]

We can say we introduced them.

[Jen Fallon]

See, that's what Brian's hoping for here.

[Bert]

It still might happen. Hey, Amy.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

Good morning.

[Bert]

You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Good morning.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

I was listening to you guys. I'm on my way to work, and I actually get my hair done at a place called Clairbourne's in Marietta. It's on the corner of Powers Ferry in Taylor Mill. And there's a girl there. She's. She's very cute. She has short brown hair. Her name is Lauren, and she lives in Grant Park.

[Melissa]

Oh.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

The last time I got my haircut, she was like, yeah, I live down in Grant park, and I'm gonna make a snowman in my front yard when it snows.

[Brian]

It couldn't be her.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Yeah, so maybe I'll wait For you guys.

[Brian]

Awesome.

[Bert]

And what was the name of that salon?

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

It's called Clairbourne.

[Brandon]

Brian, would the girl you met make a snowman or would she make a snow angel?

[Bert]

Here is.

[Brian]

I don't know how to respond to that.

[Bert]

Here is a different Lauren. Good morning, different Lauren. You are on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Hey. I was just gonna say that if that falls through. Cause that sounds pretty promising. But if it falls through, I get my hair done at a place called 313, and it's off Canton Road in Marietta. And the whole staff is just, like, a little bit edgier. Hangs out sort of in the same area that he's talking about. I can definitely. I know there's a Lauren that works there. I'm not sure if she's super tall or has short hair, but I know that I've seen her name there before when I've been getting my hair done.

[Bert]

Okay, and what's the name of that salon?

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

313. It's off Canton Road in Marietta. But the whole staff is just a little more on the, like, punk, edgy side. And a lot of them hang. I go to graveyard and a lot. And I know a lot of people that hang out there from there.

[Bert]

Okay, cool.

[Brandon]

We're getting to the point where people are just gonna call up and go, hey, listen, I get my haircut at the super cuts up there in Marietta.

[Bert]

I know a girl named Laura.

[Brandon]

There's nobod.

[Brian]

Their names, Lauren.

[Brandon]

They just do a real good job. If you call them right now, mention my name, you get $10 haircuts all day today.

[Brian]

Yeah, super cuts.

[Brandon]

Marriott Square.

[Melissa]

And she lives in College Park.

[Brandon]

Still a park.

[Bert]

She's been to a park a lot of.

[Brandon]

Right now, her car's in park.

[Bert]

A lot of times these things take, like, 24 hours to put together. So we'll follow the leads later on today, and we'll check out some of the emails that I know that we'll get also. And maybe Tomorrow morning around 7, 7:15, we can try to reconnect you guys. All right.

[Brian]

You guys rock. Thank you so much.

[Bert]

All right, dude, don't give up hope again. I think this is pretty strong, man.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Brian]

Yeah. Yeah, I.

[Bert]

Hold on one second.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Thank you.

[Wendy]

Okay.

[Jen Fallon]

So cute.

[Melissa]

Mind helping him? Because he did everything possible.

[Bert]

Yeah, I think this one's gonna work out here. All right, we got a bail on it right now, but if you have any leads, please email us later and we'll try to hook Brian up with Lauren again. Here's what we know about her that she's a hairstylist. We know that she works in Marietta and that she lives in Grant park and she's five nine, she's got short dark hair and this dude has put in some serious mileage to try to find her. Serious mileage. So if you know anything, email us later through thebirdshow.com get it the Bird

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

show this episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.

[Wendy]

All.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

I took a look at my closet the other day, like truly looked at it and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet and I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now you've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn and for a limited time you can enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[Bert]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on finquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Cassie]

Sleep Number's new collections are Designed to adapt to the changing nature of your life and your sleep needs. Whether it's the personalized comfort of the Comfort Mode mattress, the targeted pressure relief of the Comfort Next mattress, or the climate collection that actively cools or warms to help you fall asleep and stay asleep.

[Bretzky]

And now get early access to our biggest sale of the year. Save 25% on the new Comfort Next luxe for a limited time only at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com

[Spinquest Announcer]

the

[Jen Fallon]

Birch Show One of my jobs at the Birch show is to coordinate our intern staff. So our interns are current college students who are earning credit for working with us and they do a great job and they do a lot of important things for us behind the scenes that you guys will never hear. But the show would not run properly without them. So big ups to the Oftentimes they recycle through semesters. Sometimes they'll stay a couple of different semesters. We have a new intern starting today for the summer semester. And I have noticed we actually have

[Brandon]

more interns in here than we have us. That's true. I gotta be honest with you.

[Melissa]

I'm about to give a lecture to a class.

[Jen Fallon]

One thing I have noticed is a trend amongst interns and I've been doing this for about eight years. So this is eight years of my personal research. And that is that there is a typical trend that happened with the guy interns when they come to the show.

[Bert]

Here we go.

[Jen Fallon]

And this is just a theory, and y' all can call up and tell me I'm wrong, but this is a theory over my experience with working with the bird show and with the guy interns specifically who come to work because typically the way that it has gone, and I will say Carl's an exception to the rule, maybe the only one

[Bert]

he's graduated into producership.

[Jen Fallon]

Yes, he is producer Carl now. But is that once they have a lot of things, responsibilities to do off the air, typing things and sending stuff for the website and doing mundane tasks, spell checking and printing the prep and getting the studio ready for the show and all these different things.

[Brandon]

Washing Jen, like cleaning her and you

[Jen Fallon]

had to go to her house like a cat.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And grooming her hair, putting her makeup on her, brushing Melissa's teeth.

[Jen Fallon]

Right, right.

[Brandon]

Stuff like that.

[Jen Fallon]

They've got mundane tasks to do, but really important ones that if they don't get accomplished, the show doesn't run as well. And then sort of as like a next level once they've got those things mastered is we ask the interns to join Us on the air. And you've heard all of our interns through the years join us and help us with content and that sort of thing. And I've noticed that the guys, once they get on the air, their behavior on all of the responsibilities off the air completely changes. It's like somehow they've gotten what they want and all the rest of the responsibilities don't mean anything anymore. And they start to slack on those responsibilities a little bit faster and certainly more predictably than the girls interns ever do. I mean, they just, they start falling off on some of that mundane stuff.

[Bert]

So the theory here for Jen as the intern coordinator is dudes are busting butt, then they get on the air, and then their workload is like, cut in 50%. Or at least their attitude is cut. 50%?

[Jen Fallon]

Yeah. All of a sudden, all of their off air responsibilities are not nearly as important as their on air Persona and that sort of thing. It's like they get sort of a touch of this on air celebrity. Or maybe they go out to a Q100 event and somebody's like, oh, I heard you on the radio. And they have listeners who know who they are. And then all of a sudden there was, behind the scenes start slacking off. And I found with the girl interns, that doesn't happen, that they are more buttoned up with their responsibilities all across the board, regardless of whether they get on the air or not.

[Bert]

All right, so let's get intern Brandon on. This is his Ike music. Anytime a new intern is introduced, we've got music that we play for him. This is what he chose. Hi, Brandon. So you are continuing a trend, man. You had an opportunity to change the

[Brandon]

brand name, the course in history.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

Well, just let me, just let me say first, Jen was talking about the male interns, and I'm the only male intern on staff.

[Bert]

So I have a feeling in sneak

[Brian]

and suspicion it's me.

[Bert]

Okay, well, she's just saying you're a guy line of interns that she's sensing the same pattern.

[Melissa]

She's whittling down the number of men that are on the.

[Jen Fallon]

And I don't want to be that way. I want to have a balanced staff. I want to give, you know, opportunities to all students who are eligible to earn college credit. But it seems that this trend sort of repeats its pattern. And I hate to bring this up now because we have been gone for a week and a half. We were in LA and that kind of thing. But before that, we talked about stepping it up on the off air stuff.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

Yeah, and I, I think that where you may not see how I step up is maybe in the morning at like 5 o' clock when we're trying to print stuff. This morning the computers didn't work. All of us tried. I was the one ultimately got the computers fixed and all the prep, printing.

[Brandon]

Look at Melissa's face right now.

[Jen Fallon]

Intern Lauren's face.

[Bert]

Come up here, Lauren. I didn't turn, Lauren. Lauren tried. This is Lauren's last. You're never gonna hear Lauren more cocky than right now because this is her last day.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

I just want to say I did get here first and I was printing everything and as soon as the printer broke, Brandon was like, oh, oh, it's your last day. Get up, let me do it, let me do it. So I was printing stuff, he just kind of took over and was like, oh no, you don't have to work today, it's your last day. So I'm just saying.

[Bert]

Now let me ask you this then, Lauren, on days that you're normally here with Brandon, is he here before you are and working or are you here first?

[Melissa]

I usually don't intern with Brandon.

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

Okay, So I don't know.

[Bert]

Melissa, what's that look?

[Melissa]

Well, I'm here before Jen and the print, you know, and for birth show listeners, the way it works is that Jen and I, you know, Jen is the entertainment reporter, I'm the news reporter and we do research throughout the day, but in the morning we have things printed out for us in case something happened overnight or there's breaking news that we both need to report on, on the show. So one of the interns jobs is to print out everything they're talking about the prep, the prep to prep for the show is all these stories to be there ready for us. And there seemed to be a trend there for a little bit that I think because Jen was the intern coordinator, that the interns thought, well, the prep should be printed before the, before Jen does her entertainment buzz. But there's a portion of that prep service that is news that I need before 5:30. So we, you know, I have found that, and I'll say it, that when men are on the staff that the prep is not there on time. So I mean, today maybe the printer was broken, but somehow on days that Brandon's not here, the printer's not broken. And I get it by 5:10, 5:15,

[Brandon]

who does a better job running to your respective houses and walking your dog?

[Jen Fallon]

Right, Right.

[Melissa]

So I'm just saying, I mean, you know, and again, that's just. Yeah, I Mean, but I don't feel

[Jen Fallon]

that that happened until Brandon was on the air and we're talking to him about relationships and Bert's like, oh, he's got all this great on air content. Let's put Brandon on the air all the time.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

No, I don't, I don't, I don't think it has anything to do with that.

[Wendy]

It's.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I, I will be totally honest. Like, normally interns are here for two days. I've been here three days since I started. And it does wear on you a little bit that I never, I never expected it to be this tolling being the schedule.

[Bert]

Yeah, three days.

[Brandon]

Me neither.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

So, yeah, for a while it's like.

[Melissa]

But that's honest.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I, I appreciate the, you know, come getting up it. And we. You guys were in la, so had a week essentially of not getting up and coming in. So this morning it was kind of. Oh my God. I. I used to have my morning. I'm used to having my mornings for this past week. So it does. It's an adjustment.

[Jen Fallon]

I thought you were supposed to be here last week.

[Brandon]

Oh, damn.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I was here. No, I'm talking about not getting up and not. Well, we only had to come in Wednesday and Monday. Not. So it's been a week. Monday you guys were off.

[Jen Fallon]

Gotcha.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

So it's essentially been.

[Bert]

That was gonna be ugly, wasn't it? No, I was here.

[Melissa]

My butt went numb.

[Bert]

Mine too.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Man.

[Melissa]

I think I peed in my seat a little bit.

[Jen Fallon]

No.

[Melissa]

Well, I think that the one thing about the internship at the Burt show that nobody thinks about until they have to do it. And just like Brandon's talking about, I think that the hardest part of our job is the physical endurance of doing it.

[Bert]

It's just taxing that people don't think about. To me, when people say, how do you do it?

[Cassie (Vinted Ad)]

How do you get up the.

[Bert]

This is not a hard job. To me. It's taxing more than anything else.

[Melissa]

It's like a marathon. We have to. I mean it's, you know. Yeah. And so I think the intern. I think the most important aspect of the internship is for the interns to realize. Can. Can I hang with the schedule?

[Brandon]

Yeah, can I hang with this physically fit bunch of people? Can I fit in with these super in shape superstars?

[Melissa]

Right. Just the schedule shows you you can't be physically fit.

[Brandon]

Do you think it would be easier to do your internship if we got you an intern?

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

Yeah, that actually be awesome.

[Brandon]

We could get here early and better be a woman. Yeah, right.

[Jen Fallon]

Make sure you don't hire a guy.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

Also, like, for a while, I was the only intern here one day a week. So it was doing a little bit extra on that one day, doing the job of everybody. And then, so it does take a lot at you hit a wall.

[Bert]

So I want to take this away from Brandon for a second and make it like a more global question. Okay. Like, as a general rule, then can. In what you've seen, you're saying that young women have a better work ethic than young men.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Oh, now here comes.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I don't think that because. Just because I don't.

[Bert]

Just because you're lazy. No, we can't generalize all guys. I don't think I'm crazy by any means.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

It's just because it doesn't look like I'm working harder than any anybody else doesn't mean I'm not working harder. Like, I see.

[Bert]

Like, it didn't look like Michael Jordan was working as hard because he had so much talent.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I mean, no, it's not like it's not a talent.

[Brandon]

LeBron makes it look effortless.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

No, it's not anything with talent. It's just a lot of times, I think, especially being around the office a lot as I am, everybody expects a high energy. Me. Everybody who sees me in the office always sees me as high energy, being wacky and crazy.

[Bert]

I think she's just looking for high quality.

[Melissa]

I just want my prep quality on time.

[Brandon]

Melissa's like, can you just run that Xerox machine real good?

[Jen Fallon]

Like Bert said, it's not necessarily about Brandon. It's not about you. I mean, we've had this conversation before. Yeah, this conversation came up before you, and we had male interns in the past and that sort of thing. I just feel like there's an attitude change once they get on the air, and so. And I would say that the. The female interns that have worked on the show over the last eight years have had a better work work ethic in general. Called in less, that kind of thing.

[Bert]

All right, if you want.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I never called out, though, by the way.

[Bert]

What's that?

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

I've never called out, by the way.

[Jen Fallon]

I just said it's not about you.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

No, I just. I just want to guess what.

[Jen Fallon]

It's not about you.

[Brandon]

Oh, here we go.

[Melissa]

I just see it again.

[Bert]

1-877-588. Bert B E R T. Hey, Mark, Good morning. You're on the Bert show, huh?

[Brian]

Hey, what's going on, y'? All? I love the show.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Brian]

Listen, Brandon, I'm Always defending you, bro. But, you know, you disappointed me, man. Like, as a black man, you know, And I just. I hate to bring it there, but, you know, Brandon, like, we gotta work twice as hard to be seen as half as good. Brandon, you gotta represent, dude. You can't be slacking off, man. Come on, man. I mean, that's. Come on, bro.

[Bert]

Not only have you left down men, but you've let down black men.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

Yeah, I take the odors for the race.

[Jen Fallon]

The one guy who came from our internship program got hired by the show. The only one ever is Carl, who is a black man.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Yeah.

[Jen Fallon]

So, yeah, Carl's representative.

[Brian]

I guarantee you never had that problem out of Carl, because Carl knows what I'm talking about.

[Bert]

Carl opened up the door for you to slam shut.

[Jen Fallon]

It's really not about black or white. It's really about male or female, which

[Bert]

is what we're trying to get to here.

[Jen Fallon]

And women do work harder.

[Wendy]

Look around the office. Women. Do you work harder? Look at all the interns just in this office alone that have went from intern to job. There's Jen Fallon, there's Tracy, there's Joanna. I mean, all started.

[Brandon]

And you are. You are assuming that every. All three of those people were good

[Melissa]

hires that they don't regret.

[Brandon]

Do you realize the paperwork that you have to do to fire a woman in this world? Like, it's not like the old days where you could just walk up and grab her boobs and she leaves on her own. No, I've tried that with Melissa, like, six times. Then you gotta sit in human resources.

[Melissa]

Yeah, but I have to not enjoy it.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

I'm sorry.

[Brandon]

I was drinking orange juice or wine, and next thing you know, Carter was on my lap again.

[Bert]

Hey, the Birch Show. Please email us later and we'll try to hook Brian up with Lauren again. Here's what we know about her. That she's a hairstylist. We know that she works in Marietta and that she lives in Grant park, and she's 5 9, she's got short, dark hair, and this dude has put in some serious mileage to try to find her. Serious mileage. So if you know anything, email us later through thebirdshow.com the Birchow Q100. I think we got another lead. I think we got a solid lead.

[Melissa]

So kind.

[Brian]

My best friend. I'm going to see her right now at work. We work at clay boards together. Come on.

[Bert]

Seriously?

[Brian]

Yeah, she's my best friend. We met about a month or so ago at Claybord's, and she's a stylist there. She's got short, dark hair, clipper cut, very beautiful. I know exactly who he's talking about. She's my best girlfriend. Well, yeah, she lives at Grant park because we're always talking about meeting at the park together.

[Bert]

Okay, let me put you on hold. We want to get your phone number. We got to get these on these guys together tomorrow on the air.

[Brian]

Yes, because I want to hook her up.

[Caller (Possibly Lauren's acquaintance)]

Perfect.

[Bert]

All right.

[Melissa]

Yay.

[Jen Fallon]

So she's single.

[Bert]

Hey, Dale, can you hold on one second for me? Because I actually want to talk to you after a couple of commercials and I want to get some more info about her.

[Brian]

Yeah, sure. No problem. All right.

[Bert]

Don't go anywhere.

[Brian]

Okay.

[Male Intern (Possibly Carl)]

All right.

[Bert]

We're going to find more out about Lauren here. Next, the bird show.

[Bretzky]

Happy birthday, America. It's time to celebrate and play your favorite Las Vegas casino games by American owned spin quest.com what's better than fireworks and American pie hitting a black tech in the palm of your hand and you won't lose your fingers. Over a thousand games including slots and live dealers and $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 spinquest.com buy American players.

[Spinquest Announcer]

For American players, Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Boyd. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Bert]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I think thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Cassie]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.