The Bert Show (Vault Episode) – Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, December 24

Date: December 24, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & team)
Theme: Authentic, funny conversations blending entertainment news, listener stories, and real-life insights into relationships—with a dose of laughter and listener participation.

Episode Overview

This episode delves deeply into quirky personal habits (“Am I Normal?” calls) and features a jaw-dropping real-life story of a “home takeover” while highlighting the emotional challenges women face in difficult or unhealthy relationships. The team, remaining characteristically candid and humorous, creates both a safe space for vulnerability and lots of laughs.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Listener Call-In: “Am I Weird?” (01:32–12:04)

A favorite Bert Show tradition returns, as listeners share odd behaviors and ask the cast if they’re “normal.” The segment is packed with confessions, empathy, jokes, and memorable admissions from both the team and the audience.

Highlights:

• Kerry's Horror Movie Experiment:
  Kerry recounts getting her husband to chase her with a knife “just to see” if she'd react like a horror movie victim.
  • “I have a feeling it's pretty bizarre, but I just want to get your take on it.” (01:46, Kerry)
  • “You were trying to do a scientific experiment based on horror movies!” (02:32, Bert)
• Other Listeners’ Unique Habits:
  • Dancing naked after a shower
  • Practicing lottery-winning reactions
  • Acting out winning Oscars (and thanking the Academy while climbing stairs)
  • Loud “audition” singing at local bar venues
  • Emotional acting practice (crying as if a breakup just happened)
  • Telling oneself how "hot" you look each morning
  • Parents sneaking into their kids’ rooms to play with toys

Notable Quotes:

• “All my magazines in my bathroom are face down so there’s no faces looking at me.” – Liz (07:29)
• “I act like Sophia from The Color Purple … every morning on the way to work.” – Kristen (06:21, with an on-air recitation 06:41)

Tone: Warm, supportive, with group laughter; cast celebrates the quirks that make listeners unique.

2. Surreal Listener Story: “Home Takeover” (12:04–27:06)

Beverly, a listener, returns from vacation to find a stranger living in her home—renovating rooms, wearing her clothes, and moving in her own belongings. The cast delivers a mix of shock, concern, and humor as the details unfold.

Story Details:

• Beverly comes home to see a strange car, open windows, and realizes someone has invaded her house.
• The police find the intruder—completely naked, hiding with her dog in the bathroom.
• Extensive “renovations” include ripped-up carpet and swapped room layouts.
• The intruder even moves her own dishes and appliances into the house and changes Beverly's utilities over to her name.

Notable Quotes & Exchanges:

• “She had basically brought in everything she owned and moved me out.” – Beverly (16:32)
• “She reversed the colors—now I have sandstone ceilings and white walls!” – Beverly (16:31)
• “She took $23,000 worth of jewelry. That was on the low side… we found that much in her car.” – Beverly (19:27)
• “She had the power turned off in my name and had it turned on in her name.” – Beverly (23:21)
• “If it didn’t happen to you, it’s probably the funniest story you ever heard in your life.” – Bert (23:38)

Memorable Moments:

• Cast jokes about keeping the intruder’s “brand new” washer and dryer (26:39)
• Suggestion for a home makeover TV appearance due to the bizarre situation (26:48)

Tone: Shock, dark humor, sympathy. Cast offers support and resources (homeowner's insurance, media attention).

3. Why Do Women Stay in Bad Relationships? (27:09–43:50)

A candid, emotionally charged group discussion prompted by a flood of listener emails describing toxic relationships. The topic: Why do women often stay in situations where they're undervalued, mistreated, or unhappy?

Discussion Points:

• Real email examples:
  • Boyfriends letting exes sleep over
  • Women financially supporting partners who cheat or won’t contribute
  • Flirting, unfaithful partners—yet women staying
• The panel explores reasons:
  • Self-esteem, fear of being alone, social conditioning
  • Many women derive identity/self-worth from relationships
  • Societal double standards (single women viewed as failures, single men as “bachelors”)
• Generational cycles: Family examples of repeated unhealthy relationship patterns
• The difficulty of escaping emotional and physical abuse
• Importance of self-love, family support, and learning to prioritize oneself

Notable Quotes:

• “Women would rather be in the wrong relationship than be alone for the right reasons.” – Bert (33:21)
• “Because you have to understand, women are emotionally based. … But I'm not getting into a relationship just to not be alone.” – Female co-host (34:42)
• “For a woman at 34, 35, 40, whatever, to be single, there's a part of her that's been taught that she's a failure because of that.” – Female co-host (35:46)
• “Nobody looks at a guy who’s 40 and single and says, oh, that poor guy… But if you see a 40-year-old woman who’s never been married, we gotta set her up with somebody.” – Co-host (36:36)
• “I couldn't leave because if I had left, I wouldn't know what to wear when I got up.” – Caller discussing abusive relationship (38:41)
• “They spend too much time loving somebody else and not enough time loving themselves.” – Christine (41:28)
• “Women are taught that nurturing part—make sure everybody else is okay, then you can focus on yourself. ... Learning to have an ego is a difficult thing.” – Co-host (42:08)
• “A lot of times a woman has to be the hero she’s looking for in someone else.” – Co-host (43:26)

Memorable Moments:

• Callers bravely share personal stories of abuse, codependency, childhood family patterns.
• The cast stresses nurturing self-esteem in young girls to break the cycle.
• Some comic relief: “All women should just act more like guys and be happy sitting on the couch, not talking about anything or analyzing everything.” – Co-host (43:36)

Tone: Empathetic, honest, a little somber but ultimately empowering. The show balances tough truths with comedic asides.

4. Closing/Bookend (43:58–44:57)

Brief, light-hearted reprise of a holiday skit and sponsor messages.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener “Am I Weird?” Calls: 01:32–12:04
• Home Takeover w/ Beverly: 12:04–27:06
• Women Staying in Toxic Relationships: 27:09–43:50
• Listener Callers on Relationship Cycles/Self-Esteem: 36:55–43:50
• Sponsor/Light Skit/Outro: 43:58–end

Overall Tone and Takeaways

• Language/Tone: Friendly, conversational, supportive, with the familiar quick wit and warmth of The Bert Show.
• Themes:
  • Embracing individuality and quirks (“Am I normal?”)
  • The real impact of fear, self-worth, and societal pressure on women’s relationships
  • Importance of open dialogue about abuse, empowerment, and mental health
  • Sometimes the strangest true stories can bring the best mix of laughter and empathy

This episode is a quintessential Bert Show blend of earnest realness, audience participation, personal confessions, and pitch-perfect comic relief—inviting listeners to both self-reflect and laugh out loud.