Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, February 18 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show — Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, February 18 [Vault]

Release Date: February 18, 2026
Hosts: Bert (Host 1), Jim or Jen (Host 2), Jeff (Host 3), other Bert Show cast
Summary by: Podcast Summarizer AI

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Episode Overview

This episode captures the trademark mix of humor, authenticity, and listener interaction that defines The Bert Show. The hosts dive into playful yet honest conversations about celebrity crushes and tattoo culture, share a listener’s powerful decision to join the military at 37, and round it off with a wild commentary on the misuse of 911—all wrapped in the show’s irreverent, empathetic spirit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Celebrity Crushes & Tattoo Taboos

[01:30 – 13:10]

• Sean William Scott & “Tramp Stamp” Talk:
  • A host reveals her long-time crush on Sean William Scott is wavering after discovering he has a “tramp stamp” (a tattoo on the lower back).
    • “He has four tattoos... the last one says ‘Amo’—Latin for ‘I love’—on his tailbone.” — Bert, [02:02]
  • The group debates the acceptability of lower-back tattoos on men. The conversation morphs into a callout for any heterosexual men with such tattoos to call in.
    • “How do you make out with a man who has a tramp stamp?” — Bert, [02:29]
    • The segment teases at “impossible questions” and explores perceptions of masculinity and tattoo choices.
• Listeners and Tattoo Artists Chime In:
  • A tattoo artist, Puck, calls in to discuss tattoo placements he’s done—including one for a man who wanted "inspiration" in Old English across his lower back "for the ladies.”
    • “Why are the ladies staring at the small of your back?” — Host, [05:35]
  • Puck describes the most unusual places he’s tattooed—including his own testicles with the phrase “New South.”
    • “Where’s your most unusual tattoo, and what is it?” — “My testicles.” — Puck & Host, [06:54]
    • “Because the New South’s always knocking at your back door.”* — Puck, [07:15]
  • Conversation turns to scarification, with Puck explaining techniques and motivations behind the practice.
    • "Some people don't want to be tattooed. They prefer that the scar is more beautiful than a scar with ink.” — Puck, [09:57]
• Listener Stories:
  • A caller shares her experience of meeting a guy with his mother’s name tattooed on his lower back, casting doubts on their potential relationship.
    • “Makes me wonder a little bit. It’s his mom’s name.” — Amanda (Caller), [10:55]
  • Another listener reveals her husband has a lower-back tattoo chosen by his ex-fiancée.

Notable Quotes

• “I know it’s supposed to be trashy, but I still think it’s sexy.” — Host 2, [03:37]
• “If I had any cojones at all, I would do that. But I don’t.” — Bert, [04:25]
• “On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain was a 13.” — Puck, [07:38]
• “The more it hurts, the more you laugh half the time.” — Puck, [07:52]

---

2. Midlife Military Calling: John’s Story

[14:14 – 23:57]

• Listener John Calls In:
  • At 37, John left a comfortable career for a sense of purpose by joining the Army.
    • “I was going and sitting in a cubicle all day long, doing my job and just feeling like I was working for the paycheck and nothing else.” — John, [14:52]
  • Recounts initial rejection by the Air Force (age limit), but the Army accepted him after waivers and physicals.
    • “The Army is the only branch of the service that will commission people up to age 40.” — John, [16:29]
  • Describes family reaction—especially his parents' anxiety—and his own reasons rooted in childhood aspiration and a sense of calling.
    • “I think my mom and dad are both concerned that I’m going to be killed by the Iraqis on my way to boot camp.” — John, [17:11]
    • “There’s always been this burning desire to serve in the military and give back to my country.” — John, [17:45]
  • Host and callers express admiration.
    • “Kudos to you for actually taking action and making your dreams a reality.” — Bert, [23:40]
• Community Support:
  • Another listener, Laurie, calls to thank John and share her husband’s similar journey from IBM to Army Commander.
    • “My husband believes in what he does and he’s so passionate about it.” — Laurie, [20:18]
  • Valerie calls in to see if she can write John letters as a pen pal.
    • “Someone to encourage him as he goes through his trial.” — Valerie, [22:27]
  • John shares he’ll keep in touch via Facebook and through letters via The Bert Show.

Notable Quotes

• “If you don’t support the war, you have to at least support the troops.” — John, [22:15]
• “No, I’m actually never married and have no children.” — John, [23:17]

---

3. 911 Over Sandwich Drama

[26:18 – 34:23]

• Wing Restaurant Refund Fiasco:
  • Listener Angel recounts customers calling 911 over being denied a refund for eaten wings, eventually getting arrested for trespassing.
    • “They ate all their wings and then wanted a refund… So they called 911.” — Angel, [26:22]
• Subway 911 Call Playback:
  • Bert Show plays two actual 911 calls made by a man who believes being shorted spicy Italian sauce on his Subway sandwich is a true emergency.
    • “Sir, I’m not leaving here until I get what I paid for.” — 911 Caller, [28:17]
  • The group analyzes the problem of people misusing emergency services and reflects on the subjective nature of “emergencies.”
    • “Most people don’t need this explanation, okay?” — Bert, [27:33]
    • “Property or health is in danger—that’s an emergency.” — Jeff, [27:17]
  • Jokes abound as the group explores what real emergencies are, and how dispatchers handle frivolous calls.

Notable Quotes

• “Everybody’s common sense is different.” — Host 2, [27:35]
• “Do you think there’s any chance that the 911 dispatchers were starting to jack with them at that time?” — Host 2, [32:23]
• “I think Melissa might have a point—technically that’s a theft, right?” — Jeff, [32:30]

---

Memorable Moments & Humor

• Bert’s incredulity at male “tramp stamps” and the panel’s riffing on tattoo choices.
• The vivid (and outrageous) tattoo stories from Puck, including the infamous “New South” testicle tattoo and scarification.
• John’s heartfelt reflection on finding meaning through sacrifice—sparking honest, supportive dialogue.
• The crew’s animated play-by-play and comedic critique of petty reasons people call 911—with hilarious speculations about dispatchers’ true reactions.

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tattoo Taboos & Sean William Scott Crush: 01:30–13:10
• John’s Late-in-Life Military Career: 14:14–23:57
• 911 Emergency for Sandwich Order: 26:18–34:23

---

In Their Own Words: Notable Quotes

• “How do you make out with a man who has a tramp stamp?”
  — Bert, [02:29]
• “On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain was a 13.”
  — Puck (tattoo artist), [07:38]
• “There’s always been this burning desire to serve in the military and give back to my country.”
  — John, [17:45]
• “If you don’t support the war, you have to at least support the troops.”
  — John, [22:15]
• “Sir, I’m not leaving here until I get what I paid for.”
  — 911 Caller (Subway), [28:17]
• “Everybody’s common sense is different.”
  — Host 2, [27:35]

---

Conclusion

This episode embodies The Bert Show’s signature blend of real talk, humor, and heart. From tackling guilty celebrity crushes and challenging tattoo stereotypes to spotlighting a listener’s bold life change and lampooning small-town 911 absurdities, the cast covers relatable, thought-provoking—and always entertaining—ground.

Transcript

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[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Vrbocare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the.

[Caller or Guest]

Moment you head home.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

We're here to help things run smoothly, because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

The Bird Show Jen is slowly losing her crush on Stifler.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Well, I have always had a huge crush on Sean Williams Scott, the actor who plays Stifler. And then yesterday he co hosted with Kelly for Live with Regis and Kelly, and he's got a movie coming out this fall or whatever, so I don't know. I was just noodling around trying to figure it out because Tracy had heard him say some sort of reference yesterday on the show, but my wife told me blah. So I started Googling him to figure out if he was married or not, and then came across all these other little tidbits about him, and one of which really turned me off. I was like, oh, he might not be able to be my celebrity crush anymore because. So he has four tattoos. A broken heart on his hip, an infinity symbol on his wrist, a lightning bolt on his thigh. All three of those I was okay with. And then the last one says amo a m O, which is Latin for I love on his tailbone, which is.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

The small of his back, which is the tramp stamp.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That's the small of his back right there. That's it. So if a dude has a.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

How do you make out with a man who has a tramp stamp?

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

So in keeping with this series of impossible questions, what did I call these?

[Host 4]

The.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Like it would ever actually happen anyway. But, you know, it's nice to think about that. But then you think about.

[Host 4]

It was like mean pink. I mean, you know.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

You think about celebrities.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You had a chance to do this a couple years ago, and I know.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

It didn't make it happen.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

No.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

This is our segment called it only takes one Call. Is there a man listening, a heterosexual man listening to this radio show right now who has a tattoo on the small of his back?

[Host 4]

And we'll take calls watching the phones.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Right now in the event that we don't. I mean, we could also take a call. If you are a female who is hooked up with a guy and off came the shirt and you saw the first. You saw the top of the butterfly, and then down came the low waisted designer jeans.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

It doesn't even really matter what it is. It would just be interesting to figure out why they wanted that placement right there. Because it, you know, because then you can see when women have it there, it's because they want to pull their pants head down halfway and show you their butt.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

I know it's supposed to be trashy, but I still think it's sexy.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Well, I think that, I mean, I.

[Host 4]

Whatever.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Yeah, whatever.

[Host 4]

Do you think it's sexy on him?

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

On Sean Williams Scott? I have to see it first because, I mean, I've had a crush on him as a celebrity for, I mean.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

A long time because I met a little less stiff. Yeah. I can't believe you said that. You're so ridiculous.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Well, one phone line I see Sean, it only takes one.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Oh, she's gonna.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

I just would be curious about why the small the back, because it seems like a typical girl place to do it. I have a couple friends who have tattoos on the back of their necks.

[Host 4]

I think that's.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

I think that's really cool.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That's hot.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

If I had any cojones at all, I would do that. But I don't.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

I'm totally on the other side of the whole tattoo thing now. I've got three of them. And as soon as they make a procedure that is less painful than it is right now because it's supposed to be really bad and you have to go in a whole bunch of different times, I'm Getting two of the three removed. I'll keep the initials of the kids on my left shoulder, but the wave around the arm and the Chinese symbol on one arm also, those are gone.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

What is that cool Asian ball supposed to mean?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

It's friendship.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Didn't we have somebody translate it?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Yeah. And it was like it said tool.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Did it translate into friendship?

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

What about the angel wings on your shoulder blades?

[Caller or Guest]

I don't think it translated into friendship, and I don't think it meant tool either. But it wasn't.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

It was somewhere in between friendship and tool, apparently.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Boosh. Yes.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Nobody calling Jeff saying that they have one, but we do have a tattoo artist that has applied one. Come on, guy.

[Host 4]

Okay.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Good morning. Yes. This is perfect. Puck.

[Host 4]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

What is going on? How are you today?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I'm good, man.

[Caller or Guest]

How's it going?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Doing okay. So you have. You have given a tattoo on the small of a man's back.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

We had a guy come into our tattoo shop, and he wanted the word inspiration tattooed across the small of his back in big old English letters. He says it was for the ladies, for the inspiration. Why are the ladies staring at the small of your back?

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

But wouldn't they be staring at it going, I'm never gonna hook up with that guy, but I would love to introduce him to my hairdresser, Steve.

[Host 4]

I don't know many gay guys that have tattoos on the smaller backs either.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

You would be surprised where people get and what they get nowadays.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Really?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Give us a couple.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

I want to ask you so many questions to just be delicate about it.

[Host 4]

Right.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

And I'm a little nervous asking those questions of a guy named Puck.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Where's the most unusual place you have applied a tattoo on a man? In my kitchen.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You want to turn your radio down? That might help you focus.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Let me see. Album. Back of the ear.

[Host 4]

Back of the ear.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

A black heart on the back of the ear.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

That's somebody who doesn't really want to get a tattoo.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I've been tattooed in some pretty unusual places.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Where's your most unusual tattoo, and what is it?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

My testicles.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Ow.

[Host 4]

Dude.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

They say New South.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

The New South.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You're jacking with us.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

No, no, no. I will send you a picture.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

No, no, we're good.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

We'll seriously would send a picture of it?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Now, why would. Why in the world would you think that that would be a good idea?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Because the New South's always knocking at your back door.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Oh, my God.

[Advertiser or Narrator]

You are perv.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

His name's Pac. What do you expect? Do you think that maybe Some.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Do you ever, ever get action?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Your game is way on, baby.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Oh, it is way off.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Do you think someday you might regret that? Never.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That is be. How painful is that on a scale of 1 to 10?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

A 13.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Yeah, off the charts.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

And how do you.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

My assumption always is like, when guys like you get them in really freaky, obviously painful places, that it's more of a pain thing than it is a tattoo thing.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

The more it hurts, the more you laugh half the time.

[Host 4]

Yeah. Really?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You're just. You're like this close to sort of losing it all the time, aren't you, dude?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Uh huh.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Yeah, you are.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

And let me ask you a question, because I'm assuming the guy who wrote those words on your scrotum is a friend.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Yes, she is, actually.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

She.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

She.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Okay, that. That helps.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You're a very creative guy.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

She's the last one to see it.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Where do you do your tattoo art out of?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I'm a body mods artist. I do piercings, implants, branding, and scarification. I do tattooing now. Here and there a little bit. I work at Area 54 Tattoos, the new tattoo shop in Peachtree City.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Okay, that's. That's that scarification thing. Have you guys seen pictures of this?

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Yes.

[Caller or Guest]

What is it?

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Dang. I've never even heard of it.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

No, it's too disgusting. You don't even explain it.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Tell Jim what this is.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Don't even explain it.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Oh my God.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Who's gonna explain it? Don't explain it because I don't want to hear it.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Oh no, I can't see.

[Host 4]

It's just.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

What did you just Google tattoo test? They were.

[Host 4]

They were showing it's female area that's been tattooed.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You can't see anything.

[Host 4]

But did you hear about the guy? Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying explain.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

To Jen with the scarification?

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

You don't want to hear it. I'm taking my headphones off.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

I do want to hear. I've never even heard of that.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

This is going to jack you up. We had pictures of this I thought of online for a while.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Worse than some guy who's got his thing tattooed.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

The most disgusting thing you'll ever hear.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Knocking at your back door.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Come on now. Go ahead, Puck, tell her what the scarification is.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

There's a couple different forms. You have electrocuterary branding, which is electro scalpeling. You have normal scalpeling where you just cut designs into the skin. And then you have what they call etching, which is where you take a tattoo machine and turn the Voltage on it all the way up.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

So they are scarring. They are cutting you large chunks. I've seen on the Internet.

[Host 4]

It's the chunks that come off.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

For the scarring effect. And you could do whatever. Whatever you want.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Is that.

[Host 4]

Consider.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Why would you want to do that over getting a tattoo? Is that considered, like, more hardcore?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Some people don't want to be tattooed. They prefer that the scar is more beautiful than a scar with ink.

[Host 4]

Okay.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That's really.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

And do they have to endure the pain of it? And there's some sort of pleasure in that, right? Yes, for some people.

[Host 4]

Okay.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Wow.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That's a commitment.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Wow.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Wow.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Puck, thank you for being the most interesting caller we've had on today.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

No problem, guys. Have a good one.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

See you later, man.

[Host 4]

That will gross you out. That's. If you see pictures of that.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

That's scar. Well, that's like people that are cutters. I don't understand that whole thing.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

And then cutting. But they actually remove strips of.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

If you Google it, you see the strips.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Strips.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Strips are laying on the floor.

[Host 4]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

You're kidding.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Nope.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

What is wrong with people?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Hey, Amanda, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Hello.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Hello.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Hello.

[Caller or Guest]

How are y'? All?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Good.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Freaked out. How are you?

[Caller or Guest]

I'm good.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Okay, so you called us because.

[Caller or Guest]

Yes. This guy that I had a crush.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

On for a really long time, padded.

[Caller or Guest]

Up, took his shirt off one day, had the tramp stamp. Makes me wonder a little bit. It's his mom's name.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

His mom's name on the smallest bed.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

I don't know what the heck.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Yeah, that's.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

That's real bizarre.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Did you break up with him as soon as you saw that? Did you stay in that relationship?

[Caller or Guest]

No, I didn't know what to think. And then later on, I was like, that's your mom's name? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, okay.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

And then did you break up with him?

[Caller or Guest]

Well, we're not dating anymore. He moved. But, yeah. Needless to say, nothing ever happened, really, between us.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

You didn't sleep with him?

[Caller or Guest]

No.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Yeah. I mean, that was an obvious answer.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

But here's a woman that went through with the. I mean, she got married to the guy with a tattoo on the small.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Cute.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Very quickly here. I gotta get into some commercials. Good morning, Jessica. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah. My husband has a transdaler.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Why?

[Caller or Guest]

He was engaged before, and his fiance drew it and picked the spot for him to get it tattooed on.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

And you sleep with him. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, I know. That's your husband.

[Host 4]

Yeah, that's. That is. Yeah.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

It is possible.

[Host 4]

It does happen. It does.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Thank you very much. The Burt Show.

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[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

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[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

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[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

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[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

So John here, 37 years old. I mean, he's got it made, dude. Things are going great. He just wasn't feeling fulfilled. Taking a look at his life and something's not right here. So he sort of felt like, you know what? I think I could find some fulfillment some more meaning if I join the military at 37 years old. Hey, John.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

How you doing?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Good, how are you?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Not bad. I heard that comment about being almost 40. Who said that only people that.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Are 40 say that people are in their mid-30s are almost 40?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I have a young, spry 37, I'll have you know.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

So tell us your story here, man. Because, I mean, at least in your email, it sounds like. I mean, you're. You're on easy street, dude.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, I was.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I had a pretty good career. It was still up and coming. I started in the trenches and worked my way up to a pretty lucrative career. Had the house in the suburbs, just bought the BMW and just really wasn't feeling it. I mean, I was going and sitting in a cubicle all day long, doing my job and just feeling like I was working for the paycheck and nothing else. It just wasn't satisfying to me. I really wanted to do something where I felt like I was making a bigger contribution. So actually was watching a show on TV called Carrier, which is about, you know, the United States Navy. I was listening to all these people talk about what they do for their jobs, and I thought, hey, you know, I've wanted to be in the military ever since I was a young child. But when I got to be about 22 years old and wanted to go in the Cold War ended the military downside. So there really weren't any opportunities. So I chose the civilian career instead. Well, this show made me start thinking, well, gee, maybe I should try one more time to get into the military. So I went to talk to the Air Force. The Air Force found out I was over 35, and they had no more interest in me. And they said, well, go talk to the Army. So I walked three doors down to the army recruiter and said, hey, I'm 37 years old. I want to come into the military and be an officer. And they started filling out the paperwork and took about two months to get the whole process done. There was paperwork testing physical. A physical fitness test, which I thought was going to kill me, an Officers Candidate Board, and since then, got through all of it and got my class dates, and Monday night, I ship out to Fort Benning.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Wow.

[Host 4]

Congratulations.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

That's cool. Thank you. That's neat.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

That's huge.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That is pretty impressive right there.

[Host 4]

So the army, when you walked in after the Air Force, said, no, you're too old. The army didn't have any reservations at your age?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

No. The army is the only branch of the service that will commission people up to age 40.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Okay.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Okay. I didn't even know that.

[Host 4]

I didn't either have to get an.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Age waiver in most circumstances, but supposedly they're not hard to get.

[Host 4]

Okay.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

When you told your family and friends about this, what was their reaction?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Initially well, most of my friends knew that I was doing this while the process was going on. I actually did not tell my family till after I swore in because I knew my family would probably have a very negative reaction to it. And they did. The night that my mom found out, she said that she was about ready to call within a ball and cry.

[Host 4]

Yeah, well, I think any mother is a little nervous about their kid going.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Into the military, and that's it, no matter what age.

[Host 4]

Right.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

So how did you comfort her? What did you say to her?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Well, I think my mom and dad are both concerned that, you know, I'm going to be killed by the Iraqis on my way to boot camp. I just try to allay their fears that, you know, it's not as dangerous a job as it seems. And, you know, if I wind up having to give my life in the service of my country, that's okay. And, you know, my dad is ex Navy himself, so I was kind of surprised that he took it as hard as he did because I thought he would be probably the more supportive of the two parents.

[Host 4]

Was that just competition because he was a Navy man?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

It's possible. He's always wanted me to go in the Navy anyway, so it's possible.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

And you said you've always had, like, this little burning desire to be in the military.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

When I was about 10 years old, I wanted to be an Air Force pilot. And when I was 14, I joined the United States Air Force Auxiliary Civil Air Patrol because they had a cadet leadership program. And I was in that for six and a half years. Started at the bottom, worked my way all the way to the top. I was one of the few cadets that made it all the way through the program and earned the Capstone Award. And about the time that I earned that award, I was coming out of college and was looking to be an Air Force officer. And the Air Force downsized along with the other branches because of the Cold War ending. And that's when I kind of took a look at the situation, said, well, maybe there's a reason for this. And, you know, I pursued a civilian career instead. And even though I've been very successful in my civilian career, there's always been this burning desire to serve in the military and give back to my country. I thought about it again right after September 11, like a lot of people who joined the military, but the Air Force still really wasn't too receptive to me going in. And then this last opportunity was like, you know, this is my last opportunity to go in the Air Force said they didn't want me because I was over 35. The army said, you know, welcome. Welcome to your family. And I was like, okay, well, if the only opportunity I have to serve my country is going to be in the army, then that's the route I'm going to go.

[Host 4]

So it's almost like a calling. You know, you hear that all the time about somebody that, you know, has a calling, and it just, you know, continued to pull at you until you did something about it.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Was there one. Was there one thing that happened, John, that changed your mind? Like, what happened on the day you decided to walk into their office?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I don't know that there was one thing that really changed my mind. Like I said, it was just really just. I felt like it was a calling I wanted to give back to my. I wanted to do something substantial. And I really just didn't feel like in the civilian world that I was getting that opportunity. I felt like I was chasing the almighty dollar. I had the material possessions, but they just really weren't satisfying to me. That was kind of what I think really just truly motivated me.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

When you put your signature on that piece of paper and you committed, was there a tremendous sense of fulfillment or was there a tremendous sense of, oh, damn, what did I just do?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I don't even know if it was a sense of fulfillment. I think it was almost like a sense of relief. Like, I finally got through the process. I'm finally to the point where I'm putting my name on the line and I'm signing in. I'm going to be going. That was kind of how I felt was like, finally, it's over. I'm going to be going, you know, now. Now the journey begins.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Because no matter what it is that you're signing up for, you always want to be accepted. So, like, when he's signing, you know, he's signing his name to the thing, he's like, I made it.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

I still did it.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

I'm not almost 40. I'm younger than that, but I almost did.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Did it.

[Advertiser or Narrator]

Did it.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Hey, Laurie, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Caller or Guest]

Good morning. I just wanted to call and say thank you very much for what you're doing, and relay to you that my husband did a very similar thing to what you're doing. He was working at IBM, had gotten an mba, making great money, and he actually got his undergraduate education by going through rotc. So he had already fulfilled his obligation to the army and was just doing the guard on the weekends. And when September 11th happened. He was very compelled to go back into the army full time, which he did. And he was on military leave from IBM for six years, and he's just resigned from them. And he's the commander of the largest battalion in Georgia, and he's deploying again over to Afghanistan next year. And I just wanted to say thank you because my husband believes in what he does, and he's so passionate about it. And I. And. And the other thing that we have a similarity about is his mother does not support it at all and doesn't understand why he does it, and that's a little disappointing.

[Host 4]

Yeah, Well, I think. I think. I still think mothers get a pass. I think that, you know, mothers, it's.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Their job to be worried, no matter what.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

You Comes from a good place.

[Host 4]

Yeah. They're just being protective. That's what they do.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

You scared at all?

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Am I scared?

[Caller or Guest]

No.

[Advertiser or Narrator]

No.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

And what's really interesting is, you know, when my mom first reacted the way she did, you know, I went out to the army website, and there's a section on there called for parents, and I went out there to look to see what they have to tell parents as far as, you know, you know, allaying their fears and, you know, explaining why it's a great thing that your son or daughter has gone into the Army. And unfortunately, it's geared toward parents who have younger children who are going in, like, 17, 18, 19 years old, you know, so there really was nothing there that I could give my parents. Because I'm 37, I don't need the army to pay for college. I don't need the army to train me in a skill. So, you know, there was nothing there for me to give my parents, unfortunately.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Right. Well, at one point or another, we should all thank you. I mean, it doesn't matter if you agree in this war or not.

[Caller or Guest]

Right?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

It doesn't matter.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Yeah. If you don't support the war, you have to at least support the troops.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Absolutely.

[Host 4]

Well, I think everybody does, so congratulations.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Well, thank you very much.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Thank you so much.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Before we let you go here. Good morning, Valerie. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Hi, Bert. I was wondering if there was a chance to get some information on him so I could, you know, write him, be a pen pal, someone to encourage him as he goes through his trial.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Ooh, nudie pictures.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Oh, my God, Jeff.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

What?

[Host 4]

You make something so nice, so naughty.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Isn't that what happens when you. When you write to people in the military? Don't you gotta send them nudie pictures?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Hey, John, will You do this for us when you get there and they give you an email address, will you give it to us? Because I'm sure people are gonna want to keep in touch with you.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Well, I won't have access to a computer for about five months while I'm in training. Everything that you do would have to be via the US Mail. I actually have a Facebook site that I got a friend that's going to maintain for me. I'm going to mail her my information and she's going to put it online on Facebook. But what I can also do is I can also send the address to the Burt show as well. If you want to post it online.

[Host 4]

Yeah, great.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That'd be great. Some were calling, asking if you have children.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

No, I'm actually never married and have no children.

[Host 4]

Okay.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

All right. Well, hey, man, I really appreciate you sharing your story. We really do. And I want to thank you.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Pumping her fist in the air, is Valerie never married? Yeah. No.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Go get him, Valerie. Yeah, she's taking the pictures right now. Uh huh. First article of clothing just came off.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

She already has them. She took them when she was. They were 21. She's been sending them out ever since.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

In serious though, John, I want to tell you that I think a lot of people go to work or go to their cubicles every day and feel the way you do or sort of maybe think in the back of their mind. They have that calling, but don't ever do anything about it. So I want to say kudos to you for actually taking action and making your dreams a reality.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

No problem. I'm glad to do it.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

The bird show.

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[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

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[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

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[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

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[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Good morning, angel. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Hello?

[Host 4]

Hello?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Hello.

[Caller or Guest]

I heard y' all talking about the guy that called 911 because from subway or something like that. I worked at a wing restaurant last year when I was in school, and I actually had some people call 911 because we wouldn't give them a refund on their wing.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Are you kidding me?

[Host 4]

That's crazy.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, they. They ate all their wings and then wanted a refund and we wouldn't do it. So they called 911 and had the police department come out there and they actually all got arrested for criminal trespassing.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

No, there's no list that says what an emergency is. So everybody has like a different definition.

[Host 4]

Right?

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

And he's so fired up in this phone call, like he really does is an emergency.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

He really believes this is legit. It doesn't even dawn on him, not for one second, that he is taking the space of somebody that could be calling whose grandfather just passed out in the living room.

[Caller or Guest]

Right.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Kid needs The Heimlich, you say that we don't know. There's no list of what an emergency is. But I think it's common sense that if property or health is in danger.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

That'S an emergency that should be. That's one definition or two definitions.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

And by property, we don't mean you left your wallet somewhere and you need a ride back to pick it up. We mean your house is on fire, your neighbor's house is on fire, there's something life threatening, your car broke down in the middle of 85.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

Most people don't need this explanation, okay?

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

And you say common sense, but everybody's common sense is different.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

For some people, it could be mayonnaise at Subway.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

So before we judge, here's the reason why he called. He was complaining that he ordered a Subway sandwich. And he ordered it with spicy Italian sauce on it, okay? And once he opened it and he was out of the store, he realized that they didn't put the sauce on it, okay? And I think the store closed and they wouldn't let him back in to get his sauce. And he's pissed. He's concerned. I should say it's an emergency. This is an actual call. These are two calls. I'm gonna play two calls for you because he's mad in the first one, and then he doesn't get the proper attention that he wants, so he calls back a second time.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

And this just happened. Yeah. This isn't something that was like on the Internet for years and we just found it like this happened a week ago.

[911 Caller]

Yes, ma', am, my name is Bowling Avenue and I went to Subway Sandwich shop and ordered two sandwiches and I paid almost $12 for the sandwich. I did not get the sandwiches the way the mate to be made the way I wanted to. I brought the sandwiches back up here. The woman didn't tell me that she was gonna make my sandwiches over, okay? She can't tell me that they can't do this. They can't do that. All right, now they got the sandwiches that I paid for inside their store. Sir, I'm not leaving here until I get what I paid for. I'm not gonna sit pay $12 for $10 for some sandwiches and don't get what I paid for.

[Caller or Guest]

Hello, I'm here. I was waiting until you finished yelling at me.

[911 Caller]

I'm just on chat right now. Excuse me, I'm on the phone with you. The employee just came up here a lot to freaking door. And I got both of the sandwiches they did not make right for me inside the Store. He locked the door.

[Caller or Guest]

What is the sandwich shop?

[911 Caller]

Excuse me.

[Caller or Guest]

What is the name of the sandwich shop?

[911 Caller]

Subway. In front of Texaco.

[Caller or Guest]

What is your last.

[911 Caller]

Atlantic and bowling.

[Caller or Guest]

What is your last name for the police? We'll get them over to you.

[911 Caller]

Thank you.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Subway.

[Host 4]

Subway next to.

[Host 1 (likely Bert)]

I mean, she really was gonna send a police officer.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

She kept it together pretty well, probably for him.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

I was really surprised she didn't say, this is not an emergency, sir. Handle it tomorrow with the manager. She kept it together. She at least placated him and said, I'm gonna send a cop over there.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Do you think she said that with the intention of she called the cops and goes, look, this guy's making a fraudulent 911 call or it is illegal.

[Host 4]

I don't know what the. I don't know what the procedure is.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

I don't know if you have to call.

[Host 4]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

And tell the officer. And then the officer makes the determination if he's actually gonna go or not or if he was on his way to Subway. And then a legitimate call. Who knows? Either way, the dude is standing outside the subway, and he doesn't like that the cops haven't shown up in a timely fashion. So he calls back.

[Caller or Guest]

Jacksonville, 91 1, Hildebrand, 91 1.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Hello?

[911 Caller]

Yes, ma'.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

Am.

[911 Caller]

Yes, ma'.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Am.

[911 Caller]

I had called not too long ago.

[Guest (John, military recruit or Puck, tattoo artist)]

My name.

[911 Caller]

I got a situation over here with Subway.

[Caller or Guest]

Do you have that address, sir?

[911 Caller]

It's right here on Atlantic in Bowling.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay, sir, what's going on there?

[911 Caller]

Well, I ordered two sandwiches, and I asked for everything in my sandwich. And the other one, I asked for certain things on the other sandwich. I didn't get what I paid for on the first sandwich that I ordered. That I ordered. So I brought the sandwiches back and asked, can I get my sandwiches made the way they supposed to be made, since I paid for them. She did not state that she was gonna make my sandwich the way they supposed to or nothing. Then she turns around. Well, sir, you said this. You said that I'm not gonna make you a sandwich. But she never stated that she was gonna make my sandwich the way she wanted to.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay, well, I sure know we have your call, and as soon as we have an officer, we're gonna send them to you. Okay, I can update it that you're.

[911 Caller]

All I'm saying is when I called the officer earlier today, not too long ago. Yeah, but two sandwiches that I paid for at the Front Wing Restaurant, and the guy came out, he locked the door. So if I can't get my food That I paid for and he lost the door. I want my money.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay? I'm missing officer Chief. So we still have your call. Okay, I'll update it with this information. Okay?

[911 Caller]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay, thanks. Bye.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

Do you think there's any chance that the 911 dispatchers were starting to jack with them at that time? Like they knew they weren't gonna send a cop out or anything?

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

I think Melissa might have a point because technically that's a theft, right? Like if he paid for something and they didn't deliver it to him and they took it back and locked it in the store so they could. She could say, all right, they stole his sandwiches and they could send a police officer. But I don't know if you guys have ever had to call the cops for something non emergency like you. You're at the bottom of the list. They got a lot of stuff to do. They got, you know what I mean? Like, they got crimes and tickets and all the, like, regular business. So if you got a cat up your tree.

[Host 4]

Well, I think this could be opposite though. He was so angry that maybe they would check him out because if he's angry enough and he's sitting outside the subway, they're going to keep him from breaking back into the subway to get his money. Because in that last phone call, it sound like he was threatening to break in and get the money.

[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

I'm surprised we didn't get a third phone call going, hi, I work at the Subway. I work at Subway behind Taxi by the Texaco. And there is a crazy man in front of the store and he will not leave, right? Because he threw his sandwiches back at me and I didn't give him back the Birch Show. When the flu is keeping you up at night, don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with nyquil Intense Flu.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

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[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

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[Host 3 (possibly Jeff)]

Keep out of reach of children.

[Host 2 (likely Jim or Jen)]

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