The Bert Show: Full Show PT 2 – Wednesday, January 28 [Vault]

Air Date: January 28, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen, Jeff, Melissa, Tracy, Alicia, Walt

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into two main stories:

1. A listener's unconventional quest for love after seeing a man in Cosmo magazine.
2. A controversial incident involving a kindergarten teacher whose shocking comments to students were revealed by a secret recording.

Backed with their characteristic humor and authenticity, the cast explores the boundaries between fantasy and reality in adult crushes and unpacks the stresses and responsibilities of teaching, engaging with callers throughout.

Segment 1: Kelly's Cosmo Crush – Real-Life Romance or Over-the-Top?

Timestamps: 00:00–11:25

The Story Setup

• Voice Disguised Kelly calls in, seeking help to track down a man she saw profiled in Cosmo magazine. She and her sister believe he's her potential soulmate, based on shared interests described in the article.

  • Initial confusion and technical difficulties with the voice disguiser provides early comic relief.

• Jen: “A very intriguing email because…you’re checking out Cosmo magazine and you identify and make a connection with a guy that’s pictured in Cosmo and you want help finding the dude.” (01:21)

Key Discussion Points

• Kelly’s Dilemma:

  • Single for five years, burned out on Atlanta’s club scene and skeptical of online dating.
  • Drawn to the Cosmo bachelor for his outdoorsy nature, athleticism, and apparent desire for an independent partner.
  • Recognizes the situation as “the most crazy thing I’ve ever done in my life.” (05:16 Kelly)

• Hosts’ Takes:

  • Jen and Melissa debate whether this pursuit is admirable or desperate.
    • “Give us a little of your dating history because… it certainly has a hint of desperation.” (05:35 Jen)
  • The show references the shared fantasy of “finding a soulmate in a magazine,” comparing it to teenage crushes on celebrities.
    • “Every woman has done it when they've gone through a magazine. So you're just living out the adult fantasy and maybe it'll come true.” (04:02 Melissa)
  • Jeff provides comic relief by suggesting Craigslist.

• Audience Perspective & Advice:

  • Callers cheer Kelly’s initiative, likening a Cosmo magazine search to online dating.

    • “I just want to applaud her for doing this because it’s just like online dating, only she found him on paper as opposed to reading his profile on the Internet.” (09:05 Alicia)

  • Discussion about the Cosmo bachelor’s level of fame (semi-pro hockey for the Youngstown Steelhounds) and the difference between pursuing a regular person vs. a celebrity.

• The Plan:

  • The Bert Show leverages their network to contact a Youngstown morning show (“The Wake Up Crew”) to assist Kelly in reaching the bachelor, Curtis Dulay/Dole.
    • “We can call the morning show up in Youngstown… and maybe even get him on with you this morning.” (09:20 Jen)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You should be proud of finding love.” (02:05 Jeff)
• “If you do have one soulmate in life, just because you happen to live in Atlanta, what makes you think that God made your one soulmate live here too?” (04:36 Tracy)
• “That's obviously going to be the most common call that we're going to take. But there's also like, why not like, if you turn the pages of the magazine… why not pursue it?” (03:37 Jen)

Segment 2: The Teacher Tape – When Classroom Management Crosses the Line

Timestamps: 11:30–23:19

The Story Setup

• Melissa introduces a viral news story from Houston:

  • A mother, suspicious of her daughter's behavioral issues reported by school, secretly equips her kindergarten-age child with a tape recorder.
  • The results capture a teacher chastising and berating young children harshly.

• Audio from the Tape:

  • “Nobody are you good for? You’re just a bad kid now. When are you going to be a good kid?... You’re just Mac mean to your teacher and I’m going to be mean to you too.” (13:36 – Tape playback)

Key Discussion Points

• Hosts React:

  • Jen, Melissa, and Jeff are outraged and saddened by the teacher’s language.
  • “I don’t know how you defend that.” (14:58 Jen)
  • “That is just abusive, you know?” (15:26 Melissa)

• Callers’ Stories:

  • Alicia shares how, as a child, she and her brother also caught a mean babysitter with a tape recorder. (16:31)
  • Lexi, a kindergarten teacher, affirms the verbal abuse is inexcusable and urges teachers to seek other careers if they're that burned out.
  • Sally says negative teacher conduct is more common than people think, recalling a “pie hole” teacher who berated and demeaned students.
    • “She would tell them how stupid they were if they failed the test because no man would ever want them.” (17:59 Sally)
  • Melissa recalls witnessing a teacher’s breakdown and another instance of teacher violence—underscoring how stress manifests in classrooms.

• Where's the Line?

  • Several hosts and callers note that while teaching is stressful, no situation justifies insulting students.

  • Holly, a high school teacher: “You never refer to kids as stupid or tell them they’re being mean… I completely agree… with what she’s going through and how she feels. But as a teacher, you have to watch the way you word things to kids.” (20:05 Holly)

  • Walt and Jeff cite instances where teachers were reprimanded or fired for less (simply physically separating fighting students), prompting a discussion of where boundaries lie.

• Wider Perspective:

  • Jen notes, “There has to be mathematically a worst in every profession,” and one of your kids can end up with that teacher. (23:00 Jen)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Exchanges

• “I would love to see the teacher’s face when she was informed that there was a recorder in that backpack.” (15:49 Jen)
• “If you're that stressed, you can't stand it that much… just take the day off.” (15:23 Jen)
• “She didn’t put her hands on the students. I think that the comments are far worse…” (22:40 Melissa)

Key Timestamps

• 00:21 – Kelly explains Cosmo crush and her romantic rationale
• 02:54 – Kelly’s description of the Cosmo bachelor and her connection
• 04:36 – Exploring “soulmate” logic and destiny
• 09:05 – Caller Alicia compares magazine crush to online dating
• 09:20 to 11:25 – Plan to contact Youngstown’s morning show to find the bachelor
• 11:30 – Shift to the tape-recorded teacher incident
• 13:36 – Playback of the teacher’s shocking comments
• 14:58 – Host reactions to the audio
• 16:31 to 18:59 – Callers add stories of similar experiences; debate on teacher burnout and accountability
• 21:08 – Host consensus: Insulting students is always out of line
• 22:40 to 23:19 – “Worst in every profession” reflection; episode wraps

Conclusion

The Bert Show skillfully balances empathetic explorations of personal dilemmas (Kelly’s unconventional quest for love) with hard-hitting community issues (teacher misconduct), always inviting candid audience participation. This episode underscores the power of taking chances—whether in romance or in standing up for children—and the critical need for compassion and accountability in all professions.

Notable & Memorable Quotes

• “You should be proud of finding love.” – Jeff (02:05)
• “If you do have one soulmate in life, just because you happen to live in Atlanta, what makes you think that God made your one soulmate live here too?” – Tracy (04:36)
• “That is just abusive, you know?” – Melissa (15:26)
• “There has to be mathematically a worst in every profession. There's the worst hairstylist in the world…and one of your kids is being taught by that person.” – Jen (23:00)

For listeners who missed the episode:
You'll find heartfelt honesty, humor, and real talk—whether about risking a bold romantic move or confronting the tough realities of the education system.