The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, January 7 [Vault]

Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: Christy, Emily, Dave
Podcast Theme: Authentically funny morning conversations exploring real life drama, entertainment news, and listener stories.

Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show crew dives into the theme of “double lives and revenge.” Sparked by a discussion on infidelity and secret lives, they share their own stories and invite listeners to confess anonymously about leading double lives. The segment shifts into a lively and jaw-dropping exchange on revenge stories after infidelity—ranging from funny to downright shocking.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Double Lives: Inspired by Oprah and Personal Experiences

[01:29 – 07:23]

• Christy recounts watching an Oprah episode on infidelity—men secretly living double lives, including one with entire families in separate cities.
• Dave references “The Pilot’s Wife” novel:
  “It's about a woman who was married to a pilot, but he had like two wives in two different cities.” (02:05, Dave)
• The crew discusses:
  • Why someone would want not just affairs, but whole other families.
  • Christy’s personal story: Her father, a traveling salesman, juggled multiple women and revealed his infidelities through nude photos—much to Christy's discomfort.
    • “On my 21st birthday, he took me to a strip club and told me about all the infidelities... showed me pictures of the woman he’d been living with in Vegas for years.” (03:07, Christy)
  • The impact and confusion such revelations cause, even years later.

Memorable Moment:
Emily offers tongue-in-cheek advice:
“If you're up in the attic and you find a penthouse from the 70s, do not open it because you will be traumatized forever.” (04:40, Dave)

2. Audience Call-Ins: Real Double Life Confessions

[07:23 – 20:02]

A. Open Marriage with Secrets

• “Marie” calls in: She’s in an open marriage, husband aware, but her outside partner doesn’t know she’s married.
  • “We kind of have a don’t ask, don’t tell... we just do it.” (08:14, Caller Marie)
  • Hosts are fascinated:
    “I’d love it if my husband came home and posed that question to me...” (09:04, Emily)
  • Marie admits the relationship with her “sex buddy” is getting more serious.

B. Long-Term Affair: Loving Two People

• “Kathy” calls in: Married 24 years, in a five-year ongoing relationship with another man (who knows she’s married, but her husband does not).
  • She loves both, feeling “scared, confused, guilty.”
    • “I didn’t mean to fall in love with another man and I didn’t want to, but it’s happened.” (11:20, Kathy)
  • Why not leave her husband?
    • “I’ve got his eight-year-old child. Has a lot to do with it.” (12:34, Kathy)
  • Emily challenges her on the concept of love mixed with betrayal.

C. The Escort Student

• “Jay” calls in: College student, receives parental money but secretly finances herself as a high-end escort—parents and almost everyone else have no idea.
  • “I’m a student... but I’m actually making money on my own. I’m a part of a male escort service.” (13:58, Jay)
  • Earns enough to cover all expenses, has tens of thousands saved, yet keeps the secret for independence.
    • “I like the fact that I don’t have to use my parents’ money because it gives me a little more independence from them.” (18:26, Jay)
  • Christy and Emily hold back explicit questions for a later segment.

3. Revenge Stories: From Petty to Criminal

[21:50 – 31:44]

A. Cutting Up a Cheater’s Life

• Christy shares a classic tale:
  • Woman discovers boyfriend’s infidelity and cuts up all his ID, credit cards—forcing him to endure bureaucratic nightmares.
  • “Every time he stood in line, she wanted him thinking about her.” (21:50, Christy)

B. Reporting an Ex as a Terrorist to the FBI

• Emily relays a shocking friend-of-a-friend story:
  • Woman, spurned after a breakup, calls the FBI and frames her ex as a terrorist, leveraging facts about his alarm clocks and flight lessons.
  • FBI actually investigates and surveils him.
    • “She convinced the FBI that those alarm clocks were set ... for different terrorist attacks.” (24:12, Emily)
    • Culminates in neighbors worrying about police presence.
    • Hosts agree this is “way over the top” and illegal.

C. Calling in Domestic Abuse to Jail an Ex

• “Michelle” calls in: After being cheated on in college, she falsely accuses her ex of abuse, involves police and a TV station, resulting in his imprisonment.
  • “He ended up spending a year in jail.” (29:08, Michelle)
    • Later clarifies he served six months due to a plea deal.
    • She now feels bad but shares it anonymously.
  • “To lie about assault, that’s just awful.” (30:29, Emily)

D. Pizza and Flower Shop Bombardment – Petty But Harmless

• A listener describes ordering dozens of pizzas, flowers, and liquor store deliveries to a cheating ex’s apartment.
  • “That's funny. That's funny.” (31:26, Emily)
• Christy notes: “Those are the calls I thought we’d get. Not, ‘I sent my ex to jail for six months.’” (31:34, Christy)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On double lives:
  “If you're living a double life in any way, shape or form, want to hear from you...” (04:51, Christy)

• On open marriages:
  “To me that means you’re not happy in that part of your relationship. Right?” (09:13, Christy)
  “Some people can separate it... it’s just fascinating.” (09:22, Dave)

• On infidelity and love:
  “I don’t think that you can say that you love someone that you’ve been cheating on for five years.” (11:41, Emily)
  “How could you do that to a man that you’ve been married to for 23 years if you love him?” (12:04, Christy)

• College escort revelation:
  “I could pay off all my tuition, all my bills, all my apartment needs and still have plenty of spending money.” (16:16, Jay)

• Revenge gone too far:
  “She reported her ex boyfriend to the FBI as a terrorist.” (24:03, Emily)
  “He ended up spending a year in jail.” (29:08, Michelle)

Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Time | |---------------------------------------|-----------| | Oprah and double lives discussion | 01:29–05:21 | | Listener call-ins: double lives | 07:23–20:02 | | Escort service confession | 13:43–19:59 | | Breakup revenge stories | 21:50–31:44 | | False abuse accusation | 29:08–30:44 | | Petty pizza revenge | 30:59–31:44 |

Episode Tone & Style

The hosts keep the conversation fast-moving, humorous, and unfiltered—frequently expressing surprise, empathy, and disbelief. Their candid approach invites listeners to share personal and, at times, shocking stories, maintaining a balance between levity and genuine concern.

Summary

This episode is a lively, unfiltered look at the extreme ways people live secret lives and get “revenge” after being wronged. Listeners’ confessions reveal the complexity and chaos of love, secrets, and the lengths some will go for payback. The Bert Show’s style—raw, funny, and deeply human—lets audiences both laugh at and reflect on the outrageous unpredictability of real-life drama.