Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, January 7 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, January 7 [Vault]

Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: Christy, Emily, Dave
Podcast Theme: Authentically funny morning conversations exploring real life drama, entertainment news, and listener stories.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show crew dives into the theme of “double lives and revenge.” Sparked by a discussion on infidelity and secret lives, they share their own stories and invite listeners to confess anonymously about leading double lives. The segment shifts into a lively and jaw-dropping exchange on revenge stories after infidelity—ranging from funny to downright shocking.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Double Lives: Inspired by Oprah and Personal Experiences

[01:29 – 07:23]

• Christy recounts watching an Oprah episode on infidelity—men secretly living double lives, including one with entire families in separate cities.
• Dave references “The Pilot’s Wife” novel:
  “It's about a woman who was married to a pilot, but he had like two wives in two different cities.” (02:05, Dave)
• The crew discusses:
  • Why someone would want not just affairs, but whole other families.
  • Christy’s personal story: Her father, a traveling salesman, juggled multiple women and revealed his infidelities through nude photos—much to Christy's discomfort.
    • “On my 21st birthday, he took me to a strip club and told me about all the infidelities... showed me pictures of the woman he’d been living with in Vegas for years.” (03:07, Christy)
  • The impact and confusion such revelations cause, even years later.

Memorable Moment:
Emily offers tongue-in-cheek advice:
“If you're up in the attic and you find a penthouse from the 70s, do not open it because you will be traumatized forever.” (04:40, Dave)

2. Audience Call-Ins: Real Double Life Confessions

[07:23 – 20:02]

A. Open Marriage with Secrets

• “Marie” calls in: She’s in an open marriage, husband aware, but her outside partner doesn’t know she’s married.
  • “We kind of have a don’t ask, don’t tell... we just do it.” (08:14, Caller Marie)
  • Hosts are fascinated:
    “I’d love it if my husband came home and posed that question to me...” (09:04, Emily)
  • Marie admits the relationship with her “sex buddy” is getting more serious.

B. Long-Term Affair: Loving Two People

• “Kathy” calls in: Married 24 years, in a five-year ongoing relationship with another man (who knows she’s married, but her husband does not).
  • She loves both, feeling “scared, confused, guilty.”
    • “I didn’t mean to fall in love with another man and I didn’t want to, but it’s happened.” (11:20, Kathy)
  • Why not leave her husband?
    • “I’ve got his eight-year-old child. Has a lot to do with it.” (12:34, Kathy)
  • Emily challenges her on the concept of love mixed with betrayal.

C. The Escort Student

• “Jay” calls in: College student, receives parental money but secretly finances herself as a high-end escort—parents and almost everyone else have no idea.
  • “I’m a student... but I’m actually making money on my own. I’m a part of a male escort service.” (13:58, Jay)
  • Earns enough to cover all expenses, has tens of thousands saved, yet keeps the secret for independence.
    • “I like the fact that I don’t have to use my parents’ money because it gives me a little more independence from them.” (18:26, Jay)
  • Christy and Emily hold back explicit questions for a later segment.

3. Revenge Stories: From Petty to Criminal

[21:50 – 31:44]

A. Cutting Up a Cheater’s Life

• Christy shares a classic tale:
  • Woman discovers boyfriend’s infidelity and cuts up all his ID, credit cards—forcing him to endure bureaucratic nightmares.
  • “Every time he stood in line, she wanted him thinking about her.” (21:50, Christy)

B. Reporting an Ex as a Terrorist to the FBI

• Emily relays a shocking friend-of-a-friend story:
  • Woman, spurned after a breakup, calls the FBI and frames her ex as a terrorist, leveraging facts about his alarm clocks and flight lessons.
  • FBI actually investigates and surveils him.
    • “She convinced the FBI that those alarm clocks were set ... for different terrorist attacks.” (24:12, Emily)
    • Culminates in neighbors worrying about police presence.
    • Hosts agree this is “way over the top” and illegal.

C. Calling in Domestic Abuse to Jail an Ex

• “Michelle” calls in: After being cheated on in college, she falsely accuses her ex of abuse, involves police and a TV station, resulting in his imprisonment.
  • “He ended up spending a year in jail.” (29:08, Michelle)
    • Later clarifies he served six months due to a plea deal.
    • She now feels bad but shares it anonymously.
  • “To lie about assault, that’s just awful.” (30:29, Emily)

D. Pizza and Flower Shop Bombardment – Petty But Harmless

• A listener describes ordering dozens of pizzas, flowers, and liquor store deliveries to a cheating ex’s apartment.
  • “That's funny. That's funny.” (31:26, Emily)
• Christy notes: “Those are the calls I thought we’d get. Not, ‘I sent my ex to jail for six months.’” (31:34, Christy)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On double lives:
  “If you're living a double life in any way, shape or form, want to hear from you...” (04:51, Christy)

• On open marriages:
  “To me that means you’re not happy in that part of your relationship. Right?” (09:13, Christy)
  “Some people can separate it... it’s just fascinating.” (09:22, Dave)

• On infidelity and love:
  “I don’t think that you can say that you love someone that you’ve been cheating on for five years.” (11:41, Emily)
  “How could you do that to a man that you’ve been married to for 23 years if you love him?” (12:04, Christy)

• College escort revelation:
  “I could pay off all my tuition, all my bills, all my apartment needs and still have plenty of spending money.” (16:16, Jay)

• Revenge gone too far:
  “She reported her ex boyfriend to the FBI as a terrorist.” (24:03, Emily)
  “He ended up spending a year in jail.” (29:08, Michelle)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Time | |---------------------------------------|-----------| | Oprah and double lives discussion | 01:29–05:21 | | Listener call-ins: double lives | 07:23–20:02 | | Escort service confession | 13:43–19:59 | | Breakup revenge stories | 21:50–31:44 | | False abuse accusation | 29:08–30:44 | | Petty pizza revenge | 30:59–31:44 |

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Episode Tone & Style

The hosts keep the conversation fast-moving, humorous, and unfiltered—frequently expressing surprise, empathy, and disbelief. Their candid approach invites listeners to share personal and, at times, shocking stories, maintaining a balance between levity and genuine concern.

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Summary

This episode is a lively, unfiltered look at the extreme ways people live secret lives and get “revenge” after being wronged. Listeners’ confessions reveal the complexity and chaos of love, secrets, and the lengths some will go for payback. The Bert Show’s style—raw, funny, and deeply human—lets audiences both laugh at and reflect on the outrageous unpredictability of real-life drama.

Transcript

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[Host Christy]

The Bird show in the meantime I hate starting a sentence like this. I was watching Oprah Winfrey yesterday and she was doing a show on infidelity and it kind of like broke off almost into a discussion on like Secret lives of Guys. And at one point one guy was talking about how he had been messing around on his wife for like five years and he was living like a double life. Then they brought another guy on the show and they were talking about how he had another family in another city.

[Co-host Dave]

The best story of that is, and I've brought this up before because I think Jessica's the one who told me about it. The Pilot's Wife. It's a book. It's about a woman who was married to a pilot, but he had like two wives in two different cities.

[Host Christy]

Yeah, because he'd be able to leave.

[Co-host Dave]

Like Three days at a time, you know, because, you know, like, when you're a pilot, you're only allowed to fly so many hours, so many. Whatever. So he was a major airline pilot. So he would have his family, like, let's say in Alpharetta, they get on a plane, he would fly to, let's say, Los Angeles, and he'd have two days off. We'd have a family out there with an apartment and a wife and kids. Then he would fly from Los Angeles to, say, Detroit, and he'd have a family in Detroit.

[Co-host Emily]

Why, like, from a guy's perspective, why would you want to do, like. I almost could understand it. I mean, I don't condone it, but I can almost understand, like, the pilot's wife being, like, the wife writing the story about him having mistresses everywhere, but other families everywhere. I don't get that.

[Host Christy]

The family thing, I don't get. I kind of have a relating story as far as living a double life, though, goes with my dad. And I don't know that I've ever shared this with you guys.

[Co-host Emily]

Really?

[Host Christy]

Yeah. When I got out to California, I was part of a divorce. My mom stayed in New York, and my dad moved on out to California. And a couple of years after the divorce, I became the divorce trophy, and I went out to California to go live with my dad. And it was soon thereafter that where he just didn't care about me too much. But in the meantime, he was a traveling salesman. He sold plans to, like, hotels, to, like, Caesar's Palace. And I can't remember the names of the hotels at that time, but I'll just give you some examples, like the Palm Palms Mirage. But it was even before those hotels were up. Anyway, so he was in San Diego with me and my stepmom, like, four days out of the week, and he was in Vegas three days out of the week. And I think I told you guys this, that on my, like, 21st birthday, he took me, like, to strip club. To strip club and told me about all the infidelities he ever had in his life. And he showed me pictures of the woman that he'd been living with in Vegas for, like, years, years and years and years.

[Co-host Emily]

And he's. But he's now remarried to your stepmother.

[Host Christy]

He was remarried to my stepmother. At this point, this is just a sick story, but, like, nude pictures of this woman that he was living with in Las Vegas, which could take us on to a completely different tangent here.

[Co-host Emily]

Why he's showing his son that.

[Host Christy]

Right. You know, which is probably Part of the reason why we're not talking to each other anymore, especially the way they.

[Co-host Dave]

Kept themselves in the 70s and 80s.

[Co-host Emily]

Yuck.

[Host Christy]

There's a whole topiary situation working.

[Co-host Emily]

Take us in a completely different situation.

[Co-host Dave]

Seriously. Here's a warning to young boys. If you're up in the attic and you find a penthouse from the 70s, do not open it because you will be traumatized forever.

[Co-host Emily]

Okay, there's the other tangent.

[Host Christy]

Okay, so my dad was living this double life also. So as I was watching the show a couple of days ago, I started to think, and I'm hoping that we can use the voice disguiser on this. I want to know if there are any Burch shows listening, Burchell listeners that are listening right now that will come clean and tell us about the double life that you're living or that you have lived. 404-741-1005 and again, I want to say we'll use the voice disguise. We'll change your name on this thing.

[Co-host Emily]

Now, would this also apply to women?

[Host Christy]

Sure. Oh, absolutely.

[Co-host Emily]

Who are doing the same thing.

[Host Christy]

And it could be anything. It doesn't necessarily have to be infidelities. It could be a job that your wife or husband didn't know you have. I've told you about that guy that we found out. CIA dude that we were living across from in Alexandria, Virginia, was telling his wife for years that he had a top secret job with the CIA, or it was the FBI, I think. And. And he had to go to different countries to try to hack into other countries computers. So he'd be gone for weeks at a time. And his job was so top secret that he couldn't even tell her where he was going. And if she ever needed to get in touch with him, she could certainly call his colonel, quote, unquote, and get in touch with him. This went on for years. Years. And she found out later that dude was never in the FBI. Never in the CIA, nothing. He was just out. He was in different countries. He actually was working for the CIA. FBI. But not as much in a top secret job as he said he had. And he was traveling, but he had different women in different countries.

[Co-host Emily]

And his colonel was like his best buddy who cover for him.

[Host Christy]

Right. Just some dude that worked with him. Yeah.

[Co-host Dave]

Let me ask you this, because tell me if this falls into the category or if this is a completely different topic altogether, but when we were on vacation, I overheard somebody at another table talking about how they were a radio personality in Philadelphia, and Philadelphia is the city I worked at Worked in before I worked here in Atlanta. So I, you know, you hear like, 50% of the conversation, but those words stand out. So when I was leaving dinner, I went and, you know, asked him, and it was him and his girlfriend he was traveling with, and they were talking to the wait staff, and I asked him where he worked in Philadelphia, and he said, nah, I just made that up because I just make stuff up. I create different lives for different people. So I decided to be a radio personality in Philadelphia for the waitress.

[Host Christy]

Oh, you're kidding.

[Co-host Dave]

And, like, he turns out he's a car salesman.

[Host Christy]

Yeah, I think it's a totally different subject. Yeah. Why you lie for the sake of lying kind of thing.

[Co-host Dave]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Host Christy]

But I think this is totally different. So if you're living a double life in any way, shape or form, want to hear from you. Good morning, Cindy. You're on the voice disguiser. Cindy just bailed.

[Co-host Emily]

Oh.

[Host Christy]

We got two calls to roll through. Good morning, Mary. You are on Marie Marie on all the hits. Q100.

[Co-host Emily]

Hi.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm leaving Double life. I have an open marriage, and, like, my husband knows about it, and I'm kind of seeing somebody else, and he doesn't know that I'm married.

[Host Christy]

Okay, say that one. Give us that one more time with.

[Caller/Guest]

Me and my husband have an open marriage, and I'm kind of seeing somebody else that that person doesn't know that I'm married.

[Host Christy]

Okay, so your. Your double life really comes from the guy that you're having sex with outside of your marriage?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, like, we started out being just sex buddies, you know, it was fine. Then he told me the other day that he wants to date me. I'm like, oh, okay.

[Host Christy]

And you have one of these open marriage type deals where your husband's okay with you doing that?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. We kind of have a don't ask, don't tell. Like, we won't say, oh, well, I'm sleeping with such and such and such person. We just, like, just do it.

[Co-host Dave]

Hey, how does that come up?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, we were just talking one day. We have, like, totally different work schedule, and we're just maybe talking about being swingers. We're like, nah, we don't want to do that. And then we were both like, well, what if we just have sex with other people, you know, and see how we like that. If we don't like it, if it's too weird, we just won't do it anymore.

[Host Christy]

Yeah, there are, like, three dozen questions I'd love to shoot off of you about this Kind of thing, but it's before 8:30 and we kind of got to try to be sensitive about it, so. Well, I guess, you know, what we'll do is we'll take your number and we'll talk to you at another time later on in the show.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, that sounds great.

[Host Christy]

All right. Thank you.

[Co-host Dave]

Appreciate it.

[Co-host Emily]

Yeah, I've got thousands of questions because I'd just love it if my husband came home and posed that question to me. What if we just, you know, connect with other people?

[Host Christy]

Because to me that means that you're right. You're not happy in that part of your relationship. Right. Because if you want to go get it elsewhere. Right. Yeah.

[Co-host Emily]

Some people don't feel that way.

[Co-host Dave]

Some people can separate it, but it's just like, I just want to know how the conversation progresses, who brings it up? Because, like, I like. It's just fascinating.

[Host Christy]

We're going to call this Birch listener, Kathy. She's on the voice disguiser also. Good morning, Kathy.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning.

[Host Christy]

Hi. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm fine, thank you.

[Host Christy]

Tell us about your double life.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I've been married 24 years to the same man, and I've been involved with another man for the past five. And neither one know anything about each other, nor do our families.

[Host Christy]

Well, now you've been seeing him for five years.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. And would want to get married one day. But I'm still married to the same man and I still love both of them.

[Co-host Emily]

Who do you live with?

[Caller/Guest]

I live with the man I'm married to.

[Host Christy]

Now, how far has the other relationship progressed? You said one day we're going to get married. Have you guys talked about that?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yes, definitely.

[Host Christy]

Has he actually proposed to you?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host Christy]

What have you said?

[Caller/Guest]

Not until I can get divorced or we figure out what we're doing in our lives.

[Co-host Emily]

So the guy for five years, he knows about that you're married?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host Christy]

He does know.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host Christy]

And the guy that you're married to, I always wonder, you know, like when we come out of these relationships and they come clean finally, that how could a guy not know that you're having an affair for five years? You know.

[Caller/Guest]

He just has no idea.

[Host Christy]

No clue. He doesn't ask where you are during the day. At night, when he's not around, he's always working. Does he live in Atlanta?

[Caller/Guest]

In the metro Atlanta area?

[Host Christy]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host Christy]

Wow. And he has no idea that this other life is going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Had no idea.

[Co-host Emily]

How does the double life make you feel?

[Caller/Guest]

Scared, confused, don't know which way to go?

[Co-host Emily]

Does guilty come up anywhere in There.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, it does. It's hard because I didn't mean to fall in love with another man and I didn't want to, but it's happened.

[Host Christy]

What? Jenna.

[Caller/Guest]

Jen just threw her hands too, and that's the hard part.

[Host Christy]

Well, you still, what, Love your husband?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I do. I've been with him 20. It's almost 24 years.

[Co-host Emily]

I don't think that you can say that you love someone that you've been cheating on for five years. And when we ask you how you feel about it, your first word isn't guilty.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, tell me this. If you've been married to this man for a long, long time, how could you not love him?

[Co-host Dave]

What's a long, long time?

[Co-host Emily]

23 years.

[Host Christy]

23 years, man.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host Christy]

Well, I would.

[Caller/Guest]

Just stop loving him.

[Host Christy]

Well, I would turn that question around and I would say, how could you do that to a man that you've been Married to for 23 years if you love him?

[Caller/Guest]

You know, I don't know, but it's hard because I didn't want to fall in love with someone else. But when you meet someone that just really, really blows you away. And, you know, the more you see them, the more you really like them a lot, and the longer it carries on, the more you love that person too.

[Host Christy]

Why don't you just bail on the husband?

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. I've got his eight year old child. Has a lot to do with it. And I don't know, I just think.

[Co-host Emily]

That'S a decision you made. Somewhere at some point, you made a decision to continue with the feelings you were having for the five year guy. You know, at one point you, you had to look that decision in the face and said, I'm either gonna go for it or I'm not. And the responsible decision, obviously would have been like, no, I'm not. I'm gonna stay faithful in my marriage. Which people make that decision every day, and they make the right decision every day. But you decided to make the decision to continue with it so that you did fall in love with this person, but there was a decision made. You didn't just happen to fall in love with someone.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, you've never met someone that just. Just makes you fall in love with him as soon as you meet him. I mean, you just love everything about him.

[Host Christy]

Well, I think she married him. She's tempted by me every day. But we keep our distance because we know it's not good for either one of us.

[Co-host Emily]

Right?

[Co-host Dave]

Okay. That's gonna make you smile today then. Okay.

[Host Christy]

I gotta Move on to another call here. And good morning. We are gonna call you. Jay, you are on the voice disguiser also.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. Thank you.

[Host Christy]

You're living a double life.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I am.

[Host Christy]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm a student in school and my parents are pretty wealthy. They gave me a lot of money.

[Host Christy]

I gotta stop you there, Jay. Cause you gotta speak up a little bit. We're having a tough time hearing you. So can you start all over again?

[Caller/Guest]

Can you hear me now?

[Host Christy]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. I'm a student in school. And my parents are pretty lucky to give me a good amount of money every month because they're well off. So they give me some spending money, but I'm actually making money on my own. I'm a part of a male escort service. And I just. There was a period of time where I didn't really want their money. I had a lot of problems with them. And my friend just kind of suggested. And so I made quite a bit. But once things patched up with my parents and stuff, I just couldn't. I couldn't really come to give it.

[Host Christy]

Up for whatever reason. Are you having a tough time understanding what she's saying?

[Co-host Emily]

You just sound like you're kind of mumbling and quickly talking through your words added on to the voices. Kaiser, it's really hard to understand what you're saying. But is the gist of it that you run an escort service? You work for an escort service, but.

[Caller/Guest]

You'Re a part of one.

[Co-host Emily]

You're part of an escort of an escort service.

[Host Christy]

And she's also a student taking money from her parents.

[Co-host Emily]

So your parents don't know that you're an escort?

[Caller/Guest]

No, no, no. Nobody knows. Actually. That's why I'm talking a little low. I don't really see or anything. Sorry.

[Host Christy]

Can you pitch that voice disguise or something?

[Co-host Dave]

It's as low as it'll go.

[Host Christy]

It's as low as it'll go.

[Co-host Emily]

I just think it's because she talks quickly.

[Host Christy]

I gotcha. Hey, Jay, can I ask you what school you attend?

[Caller/Guest]

I'd rather not say. Is that okay?

[Host Christy]

You don't want to say? Okay. It's college, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host Christy]

Okay.

[Co-host Emily]

Okay.

[Host Christy]

All right. So you're taking money from your parents and you're also part of this escort service. Now this actually came up earlier in the show today because I was always under the quote unquote assumption that an escort service is just a service where, like, really rich guys come into town and they don't want to be lonely for the night and they've got a business meeting. So they call the escort service and some hottie comes by and they hang out all night. Is that what an escort service is? Or is an escort service just a pretty way of saying I sleep with these guys and I get money for sleeping with them?

[Caller/Guest]

It's a mix of both.

[Co-host Emily]

I think. Isn't an escort service like a higher class way to say?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, it is. Usually like more upper class businessmen type of thing.

[Co-host Emily]

So you're getting a lot of money to sleep with someone rather than just a little bit of money?

[Host Christy]

Give us a little clue about how much money you'd get in any given night.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm not supposed to go into specifics about that, but I could do without any assistance and I could pay off all my tuition, all my bills, all my apartment needs and still have plenty of spending money.

[Host Christy]

In one night?

[Caller/Guest]

In a week.

[Host Christy]

In a week. Okay, go ahead.

[Co-host Emily]

Can we talk to her later? Because I'm feeling uncomfortable with the questions. I want to ask her before 8:30. But I am dying to ask her like 1000 questions. Even more so than the open marriage lady.

[Host Christy]

Are you available after like 8:30 today or tomorrow? Okay, cool. Then we'll talk to you more about this because. Yeah, I've got some questions too. Like, are there different things for different cash? Is that where you're going with this? Right?

[Co-host Emily]

How you get started, what the first time was like, what, you know, what makes you feel like it's okay? Because. Yeah, I mean, there's like a thousand questions.

[Host Christy]

Do they call you directly?

[Co-host Emily]

What happened the whole deal? And how you're recruited to start.

[Host Christy]

Staying away from those kind of like sexual questions until after 8:30? How. What do your parents think that you do to make a living?

[Caller/Guest]

They don't think I have any job of any sort.

[Co-host Dave]

Which is why they keep giving you money.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I mean, they're well off anyway, so I think they would, as it is. But they don't. They don't. They're very controlling. They'd rather me not work.

[Host Christy]

So on any given Friday, Saturday night, they think you're at fraternity parties?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I live in an apartment near my campus, so they don't really ask questions about where I go and things.

[Host Christy]

Wow. They have no. And now nobody else in your life knows either? No friends know?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, there was one friend who suggested it because I guess she knew somebody that was like, you know, associated with it. And through that I kind of went on from there, but so she knows that I have. I think she knows that I'm a part of it. I don't think she knows like the extent or any of the details type of thing?

[Host Christy]

Yeah. Wow. Do you ever think, like, I think the guilt would overtake me so much, like if my mom ever found out or as a woman, if my dad ever found out?

[Co-host Emily]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, I like a lot of issues with this, but at the same time, like, you know, it's not like I like what I do. It's more that it's. I really do get a lot of money and I like the fact that I don't have to use my parents money because it gives me a little more independence from them.

[Co-host Emily]

Do you think you'll ever pay your parents back with some of that money?

[Caller/Guest]

I don't think they're expecting it. I don't think they need my money, really. They're pretty fine off without it.

[Host Christy]

How much money do you have saved right now from what you've made as being an escort?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, thousands and thousands. I don't. Like I said, I don't really want to go into specifics. I actually probably don't know.

[Co-host Dave]

It is a lot.

[Caller/Guest]

I've lost track. Actually, that's more of a way to say it. But it's definitely in the high thousands.

[Host Christy]

In the tens of thousands.

[Caller/Guest]

So we're talking higher than that?

[Host Christy]

Higher than that, yeah. And this is all cash just in your apartment or is this something you have in a bank account?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I have it in an account.

[Host Christy]

In the 30s and the 40s.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Around there, yeah.

[Host Christy]

Wow. Wow. Busy, busy, busy. You must be tired. All that studying and all that escort.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't actually. I don't even need to do that many per week.

[Co-host Dave]

How are your grades?

[Caller/Guest]

They're good.

[Co-host Dave]

Good.

[Host Christy]

A's and B's.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Host Christy]

Really?

[Co-host Emily]

Can you tell us what you're studying?

[Caller/Guest]

I am a business major.

[Host Christy]

Business model. Well, yeah, obviously passed. Well done, Jay. You know what I want to do is I want to put you on hold because I think we're all fascinated by this and there are a million more graphic questions we want to ask you, but we can't do that till after 8:30.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Host Christy]

All right, I'll put you on hold. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

All right. Thanks.

[Host Christy]

Cool.

[Co-host Dave]

THE Bird show.

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[Host Christy]

This is an ad by BetterHelp.

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[Caller/Guest]

Take a breath.

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[Host Christy]

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[Host Christy]

One of the best breakup revenge stories I had ever heard was a woman, kind of a friend of a friend story where she finds out that her boyfriend's screwing around on her and she's so ticked off about it. You know, they've been going out for like two and a half years or something and it sure looked like everybody was gonna get all married and stuff. And she finds out that they're getting married or that he was screwing around. So she goes gets his wallet and cuts up all, not only his credit cards, but also like his Social Security card and his driver's license and all of his identification because she lived in California. In California, the DMV there is as big a pain in the butt as it is here in Georgia. So every time he stood in line, she wanted him to be thinking about her.

[Co-host Emily]

Oh God.

[Host Christy]

And you guys know trying to get a Social Security card is a big time hassle. You got to spend so much time on the phones going through voicemail trees and going, this person and that person.

[Co-host Dave]

Gotten one in in years. Because I dread having to go down to the SSA office because I just know it's gonna. We had to do that when, when Jessica's dad died, we had to take her mom down there and it's just a lot of waiting in line.

[Host Christy]

It's a hassle. It's so Frustrating. So she cut up all the ID like that just because she wanted every minute he had to work on those projects to be thinking about how he screwed around on her. And I thought, that's great. That's awesome. Jen Hobby has a story of revenge. That blows that one so far out of the water, it's not even close. And I don't think anybody listening can top this story of revenge.

[Co-host Emily]

I think we should have him try, though.

[Host Christy]

Yeah, you can try. But I'll tell you what. I think you're gonna come up short on this one.

[Co-host Emily]

Maybe. So now this story of revenge is really more a story of psycho, because this is a couple that I heard of that broke up. Okay. And this is a. A close story to a friend of mine. So I'm once removed from this story. But this friend of mine told me the story, and she's very, very close to this story. Um, uh, okay. So he breaks up with her and she. Let's call her Annie. Okay. So Annie decides that what she will do is report her ex boyfriend to the FBI as a terrorist. Oh.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no.

[Co-host Emily]

Yes. And she was calculating enough that she figured out ways to get the FBI to actually believe her.

[Host Christy]

Okay, now this has got to be illegal. I'm sure it's going to be illegal.

[Co-host Emily]

And I don't know the rest of the story, like, what happened to her after this, after they found out obviously it was false. Okay. This is just an ex boyfriend. She's just mad that he broke up with her. I don't know the story around their breakup, but basically he dumped her. She got mad, called the FBI and said that he was a terrorist and that he was planning terrorist attacks, man. Okay? And here's how far it went. He is one of those people that's a snoozer, like a late sleeper, whatever. So he has like five or six, you know, maybe up to 10 alarm clocks in his house. She convinced the FBI that those alarm clocks were set as far as different events that were gonna be going on around the world. And that's why he had so many different alarm clocks in his room. She's like, go look, go see. He's got alarm clocks in there, and they're all set up for different terrorist attacks that are gonna happen around the world. And then he also was someone who was newly taking flight lessons just as a hob, like on the weekends. He was doing well enough to be able to afford some flight lessons. So sure enough, she told the FBI that he was going to be taking these flight lessons in order to Fly planes into buildings. And the funny part is he lives close to Washington, D.C. too. So they took this very seriously because he lives in that area or whatever, and this is just his hobby, you know, oh, maybe I'll just, you know, try to learn how to fly or whatever. So she knows all these different things about him that she reports to the FBI, and sure enough, the FBI shows up at his work. Okay? They show up at his office, they investigate him. Then he finds out later that they had been staking out his house.

[Host Christy]

Really?

[Co-host Emily]

From his neighbors in his neighborhood. The neighbors were like, coming over going, why are there, you know, why is there cops in our yard all the time? Why is there, you know, this going on? Or whatever. And he found out this much later. So his entire neighborhood thinks now that he's got something going on that's wrong because there's been cops staking out his cul de sac for weeks, you know, before he ever finds out about it. But sure enough, they show up at his work and they investigate him because they think that he is planning terrorist attacks. All because of a bitter ex girlfriend.

[Host Christy]

Now, no doubt. I mean, obviously this is way over the top. Way over the top. And no one. Yeah, it's totally wrong. But I'm just. I want to ask, like, what did he do that was so wrong to get her so crazy? Or was it just an ugly breakup?

[Co-host Emily]

I think it was just an ugly breakup. I really don't know the details of the breakup, but. But the friend of mine who told me the story is very close to it and said that she did have some pretty psycho tendencies.

[Co-host Dave]

Because she's a girl.

[Co-host Emily]

Well, not just because she's a girl, because that's really over the top. Really, really far. I mean, just absolutely wrong. But I mean, seriously, seriously mess with this guy's life just because she was a bitter ex girlfriend.

[Co-host Dave]

Can you believe that?

[Host Christy]

Now, does he know as fact it was her? Yes, he knows as fact.

[Co-host Dave]

How does he know? Did she tell her? She told him.

[Co-host Emily]

I mean, once the FBI cleared his name, the terrorist list or whatever, I'm sure that they had to provide him with some information because of all the meddling in his life.

[Co-host Dave]

No, she told. They'll never do that. They will never. Even if you are perfectly innocent, they'll never reveal who turned you in, really. So she told him.

[Co-host Emily]

I can believe that because she goes to that travel show, brag about it. But I mean, that's just wrong. I mean, that's because, like, with the credit, you know, cutting up the credit card and Social Security, you know, that puts the burden on him to have to go and do all these things. And to me, that's funny, but you know, this. You're talking about taking up time, the FBI and taxpayer money going to her. Trying to seek revenge is wrong. And the terrorist thing, that's not funny.

[Host Christy]

Yeah, we're not debating, like, if it's right or wrong. I mean, for sure, across the board. It's not even a no debate there. Totally over the top, totally wrong.

[Co-host Emily]

Nuts or what.

[Host Christy]

Who can beat that story of revenge? We will need the voice disguiser for this, Jeff. We are gonna call this Burt show listener. Hold on, hold on. We're gonna call you.

[Co-host Emily]

Or HO for short.

[Host Christy]

Somebody messed with the voice disguiser. We had it all set up perfectly.

[Co-host Dave]

Well, no, except for the fugitive.

[Host Christy]

Well, why can't we just keep it the same setting?

[Co-host Dave]

Cause then everybody sounds just like the fugitive.

[Host Christy]

That's fine.

[Co-host Dave]

Okay, go ahead.

[Host Christy]

Good morning, Michelle. Yeah, hi. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Caller Michelle]

This happened when I was a freshman in college and I had a boyfriend that I had been baby dating for two years. And I found out that he was cheating on me. And so, you know, we had a very ugly breakup. And I think during our whole relationship, I mean, the only time he probably did anything, he, like, pushed me. So after we broke up, you know, I was so mad that he had been cheating on me for a while that I went to the police and I said that he had been physically abusing me. So they took out like, a little, you know, report and said that they would investigate it. Well, me, I can't, you know, wait. So I get a local TV station involved.

[Host Christy]

Oh, you did not.

[Caller Michelle]

And they go. And they go after him, and he ended up spending a year in jail.

[Host Christy]

No way. And the dude was totally innocent.

[Caller Michelle]

Yeah. And I feel bad about it now because that's why I'm on voice disclosure. But I mean, you know, I was really pissed, I guess.

[Co-host Emily]

I guess. So.

[Host Christy]

How do you live with yourself, though? This dude spent a year in jail.

[Caller Michelle]

Well, I think he got out after six months for good behavior.

[Host Christy]

So that makes you feel a little bit better about things.

[Caller Michelle]

Yeah. And my best friend always tells me, you know, she's like, you, you can't wait for karma. You take things into your own hands.

[Co-host Dave]

And I'm like, yeah, well, yeah, you're gonna wait for karma, because when it comes back to get you, you're screwed.

[Host Christy]

Oh, that's gonna be a tough one to live with.

[Caller Michelle]

I know. I'm always worried I mean, now, you know, I'm happily married, have a child, but I'm like, you know, I do feel bad, and I even at one point tried to contact him. This is when I was in another city, but I never did.

[Co-host Dave]

Don't contact him.

[Host Christy]

Yeah. He never found out, right, that.

[Caller Michelle]

No, yeah, he did.

[Host Christy]

He went to jail.

[Co-host Dave]

So you testified under oath, you lied under oath.

[Caller Michelle]

Well, we didn't even have to go that far because he took a plea bargain because he knew it was just gonna be a mess.

[Co-host Dave]

Wow.

[Host Christy]

You took six months out of this guy's life over this?

[Co-host Emily]

Yeah, he was.

[Caller Michelle]

Let me just tell you. He was my first.

[Co-host Emily]

I was. You know, it doesn't justify what you did. I mean, it's awful. And to lie about assault, that's just awful.

[Co-host Dave]

Yeah.

[Host Christy]

Wow. All right.

[Co-host Emily]

That's my story Already. Yes.

[Host Christy]

That's pretty bad.

[Co-host Emily]

I mean, that's pretty bad because that involved prison time. I mean, my story was just, you know, a bit of a hassle, you know, explaining to the FBI some things.

[Host Christy]

But. Yeah. Let me tell you the stories I thought we were gonna get. You could turn the voice disguiser off. Hey, Christina, you're on all the hits. Q100. Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, well, a few years ago. Well, many years ago, I'm not as crazy as the other callers, but in any case, in New York City, a boyfriend I found out was cheating, and after he broke up with me, I called all the pizza shops for about 30 blocks, ordered as many pizzas as I could have delivered to his address. All the flower shops and the liquor stores that delivered.

[Co-host Emily]

Oh, that's great. That's funny. That's funny.

[Host Christy]

And they all came on the same day.

[Caller/Guest]

On the same day. And they wouldn't extend him credit.

[Host Christy]

See, now those are the calls I thought we would end up getting. Yeah, I like that. Not. I sent my ex to jail for six months.

[Co-host Emily]

Unbelievable.

[Host Christy]

Hey, The Bird Show.

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