Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, July 22 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show: Full Show PT 2 (Vault)

Episode Date: July 22, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and crew (guest voices include Carl, Melissa, Serge, Josh, Frankie, Brandon, Ryan Seacrest)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into both signature humor and social commentary with two standout segments: a provocative social experiment comparing reactions to public marriage proposals between straight and gay couples, and the much-anticipated conclusion to the "All Or Nothing Trivia" contest about Hollywood’s most well-endowed men. The show further explores coming out experiences in the workplace and indulges in a lively discussion about "As Seen On TV" products. Throughout, the hosts mix vulnerability, irreverence, and the show’s trademark friendly banter.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Social Experiment: Public Marriage Proposals

(Starts at 01:01)

• Purpose: To compare public reactions to a straight (man to woman) marriage proposal and a gay (man to man) proposal, with Frankie and Brandon volunteering for the challenge.
• Details:
  • Straight Proposal:
    • Location: Bahama Breeze, Kennesaw
    • Frankie proposes to his friend Melanie via restaurant-wide mic. She plays along, flipping out in excitement; diners erupt in applause and congratulations.
    • Frankie: "The way she played it off just made me act even more... She went around showing everybody the ring and just... it was awesome." [03:56]
    • Free food is mentioned humorously (coconut shrimp), and the whole atmosphere is jubilant and inclusive.
  • Gay Proposal:
    • Location: Bailey’s, Kennesaw
    • Frankie, replacing Melanie with Brandon, proposes to him in a packed sports bar, right before a big baseball play.
    • The reaction is strikingly different: silence, discomfort, and only a single round of applause (initiated by Melanie).
    • Brandon: "That place lit up when Hayward hit the home run. And when we did our proposal thing, dead silent." [08:36]
    • Frankie recounts being cursed at in the bathroom after the proposal:
      "Some dude told me to F off twice. Just the second time, just to make sure I heard him." [09:01]
    • The cast reflects on these contrasting experiences and the evident discomfort society still has with public displays of same-sex affection, especially in certain environments.
    • Melissa: "I'm not surprised that somebody would refuse to do it. I'm not surprised that there would be no reaction, you know?... But of course, it's hurtful." [10:45]
    • Discussion ensues on how reactions would differ in LGBTQ+-friendly neighborhoods.
• Memorable Moment:
  • The tension and awkwardness during the second proposal, punctuated by candid, honest reactions from both the crowd and the crew.

Timestamps for this segment:

• Set-up: 01:01
• Straight proposal at Bahama Breeze: 03:01
• Crowd reaction analysis: 04:50
• Man-to-man proposal at Bailey's: 06:43
• Post-proposal analysis and reactions: 08:36-10:59

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2. All or Nothing Trivia: Who are Hollywood’s Most Well-Endowed Men?

(Begins at 11:38)

• Premise: List the top five "most endowed" male celebrities in Hollywood to win a growing pile of prizes.
• Multiple listeners call in with their guesses, with the show’s hosts offering running commentary:
  • Near-miss answers and the comedic back-and-forth as listeners compete for the win.
  • Jill eventually wins with the correct lineup: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette, David Spade.
  • Carl: "So for those of you just checking it out today, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette and David Spade. All the five most well endowed celebrities in Hollywood." [17:23]
• Running Jokes:
  • Gentle ribbing about the contest topic, playful disbelief at the ranking, and the number of prizes (including tickets to Sheryl Crow, Lady Antebellum, John Mayer, and massages).
• Commentary:
  • The cast jokes about objectifying men and the reliability of such a list.
  • Melissa: “Is it just me or the fact that only one black man is on this list? Fast. Fascinating.” [16:16]
  • Carl: “It almost discredits the whole list.” [16:21]

Timestamps:

• Trivia Recap & Stakes: 11:38
• Listener guesses and banter: 13:11–17:14
• Winning answer and prize run-down: 17:23

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3. Coming Out at Work: Serge's Experience

(Starts at 19:07)

• Background: The crew revisits a heated debate from Friday about comfort with public gay proposals, segueing into Serge’s call where he publicly comes out on air for the first time.
• Serge’s Story:
  • Serge details his history of privacy and "stealth mode" at work, his impulse to come out on air, and the aftermath at his workplace.
  • He recounts both supportive reactions and his discomfort with the attention—especially as supportive coworkers (all white) approach him, while some black colleagues noticeably refrain.
  • Serge: "I was sort of under stealth mode... 15 minutes after I arrived [...] the first person stopped by to tell me how courageous I was... the firm was behind me." [21:18]
  • He candidly explains why he took the day off following his public coming out; struggling with the loss of control over who knows and the nature of conversations.
  • Melissa: Voices empathy while urging Serge to recognize the support he's received:
    “I just want to put it in perspective that you are lucky to be at this office because you had more than one person come to you and say, the firm is behind you… I do think that all this insecurity is coming from within you.” [25:45]
  • Notably, Serge observes a divide in reactions across racial lines, sparking a conversation about intersectionality and acceptance.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Melissa: “Be proud of yourself and the firm’s behind you… don’t waste your energy worrying about the gu that passed by you that didn’t look at you.” [27:19]

Timestamps:

• Recap/Social experiment setup: 19:07
• Serge recounts his office experience: 20:05
• Reflections on workplace and community reactions: 25:32–28:04

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4. “As Seen On TV” Product Obsession

(Begins at 28:36)

• Premise: Show members confess their guilty pleasures with infomercials and quirky TV-advertised products.
• Stories Shared:
  • D talks about buying items like Bump-Its, the Pet Egg, and the infamous Ab Belt (which only made her sweat, not toned).
  • The crew jokes about slap-chop knockoffs, the allure of infomercials, and almost purchasing yard equipment when they don’t own a yard.
  • D: "I almost bought a weed thrasher for a yard that I don’t own and was just going to do yard work for people for fun." [32:30]
  • Josh vouches for the effectiveness of green produce bags and the “Perfect Brownie” pan.
  • Conversation veers into playful weed and brownie references, keeping with the show’s irreverent, tongue-in-cheek vibe.
• Memorable exchange:
  • Melissa: “That’s right. Going back to the fact that, yes, you can grab a plant in the closet and have the perfect brownie all in the same house.” [33:32]

Timestamps:

• Product confession kickoff: 28:36
• Weed Thrasher story: 31:31
• QVC side tangent and product feedback: 32:44
• "Perfect Brownie" pan & wrap-up: 33:04–33:41

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Frankie (on proposing to Brandon):
  "The more uncomfortable he got, the better I got. It made me want to do it even more." [07:11]
• Brandon (contrasting reactions):
  "That place lit up when [Jason] Hayward hit the home run. And when we did our proposal thing, dead silent." [08:36]
• Serge (on being outed at work):
  "Once you—it leaves your lips, it just goes." [25:32]
• Carl (on the trivia topic):
  "Who are the five guys with the biggest trombones in Hollywood?" [13:49]
• D (on infomercial temptation):
  "I almost bought a weed thrasher for a yard that I don’t own." [32:30]

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The Bert Show’s Tone & Takeaways

• Conversational and irreverent, punctuated by moments of vulnerability, especially around social experimental bits and personal stories.
• Willing to tackle awkward, difficult, and funny topics alike, always with sharp but good-natured wit.
• Celebrates inclusivity and candor—even as it exposes places where society has more growing to do.

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For new listeners:
This episode is quintessential Bert Show—equal parts social commentary, offbeat humor, and the relatable messiness of everyday life, delivered unfiltered by a cast who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves or shine a light on what still needs changing.

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Transcript

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[Carl]

So here was sort of the social experiment that we wanted to do. We wanted to send a couple of staff members out and we wanted to have a public proposal of marriage. We all know what happens when a man proposes to a woman. Free drinks for everybody.

[D]

Good luck to you.

[Carl]

Free flights. You're allowed to drive 85 miles an hour. Whole world opens up to you after you get engaged. So we wanted to video a proposal between man and a woman and then compare it. Same situation between a man asking another man to be their life partner and get reactions. So we send intern Brandon and Frankie.

[Frankie]

What's up, guys?

[Melissa]

Frankie.

[Carl]

And this starts in Kennesaw, right, Brandon? Okay.

[Brandon]

Starts at. In Kennesaw. And Applebee's, I believe, was the first place we went to, the first place we tried.

[Melissa]

How many proposals happened at Applebee's? Hell yeah.

[Brandon]

I mean, but there was too many families there. So we did.

[Frankie]

Well, there was not. There was not enough people at Applebee's. At Chili's, there were. There were too many families around. And we were like, we don't want to.

[H]

We don't want to expose the kids to the gayness.

[Frankie]

Well, we were all talking about it.

[H]

And this a banner morning for Melissa.

[Serge]

We don't want to. We didn't want to be the one.

[Melissa]

I'm heading to a damn straight wedding this weekend, so I'm having a good day.

[Carl]

Melissa's Defeated. You don't even. You don't know how the reaction was yet.

[D]

So maybe we did.

[Brandon]

We didn't want to be the ones that had to forced a family discussion. I mean, we don't. Yeah. So we opted to go to a different place.

[Carl]

Okay, so you were doing the same proposals in the same place?

[Brandon]

No, we're gonna do.

[Frankie]

We're in two different. Two different places, but around the same area.

[Carl]

Okay. Both in Kennesaw.

[Frankie]

Both in Kennesaw.

[Carl]

All right, so the proposal with man and woman happens for. Set the scene for me here.

[Frankie]

We went to Bahama Breeze, and they had a guy up there playing guitar. And so we.

[H]

Is it just me, or does Frankie sound baked out of his skull?

[Carl]

This is a little 420 week for you.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Carl]

421, 422, 423.

[Melissa]

Somebody's been up all night, Right?

[Frankie]

It's been a long night.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Frankie]

But I waited and asked her, my friend Melanie. And Crystal went with me to videotape it, and I asked Melanie to go to the bathroom. And when she did, I asked the guy who was playing the guitar if he would let me borrow the mic. And I told him I wanted to propose to my girlfriend. I met her here. And so the mic goes throughout the entire restaurant, the parking lot across the street. It was ridiculous. And so I get on the mic and I get everybody's attention. And the way she played it off just made me act even more. The audio is great of her just flipping out. And she did it just like, you know, you would expect a woman to flip out. And she went around showing everybody the ring and just. It was awesome. But, yeah, we got great.

[H]

Is there a chance she thinks you're really engaged now?

[Serge]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Melissa]

Did you tell her this is a bed?

[H]

She knows it was a joke, right?

[Serge]

No.

[Carl]

You should call her up today and go. Okay, I've got the wedding planner all lined up. All right, so here's audio of Frankie actually proposing. What else did I want to add to this? I think that's it. Oh, yeah. And the video is already up online or will be up later.

[H]

It will be up. They had to edit in the audio for one of them, but it'll be up soon.

[Frankie]

Excuse me, everybody. Can I get your attention for a second, please?

[Carl]

I have an announcement to make. Melanie.

[Frankie]

I've been with her for three years now. And I know since the first day that I met you that I wanted you to be my wife.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[Carl]

Congratulations.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Carl]

So pretty standard stuff. Everybody's all excited, right? Like, paint the scene for me. Everybody seems to be clapping.

[Frankie]

Oh, everybody was clapping, shaking my hand. She was, you know, running around, showing everybody the ring. You know, it was. It was a mate. Everybody's coming up, shaking her hand. Congratulations.

[H]

Did you get a free order of potato skins or anything?

[Frankie]

No, we actually got coconut shrimp.

[Brandon]

Okay, good.

[Frankie]

And, you know, I mean, I had to have a couple drinks because it's kind of nerve wracking to ghetto. I've never proposed to anybody before, so it was kind of nerve wracking.

[Josh]

And practice run when the run happens, Right?

[Carl]

So all goes well, everything's pretty much exactly what you think. All right? Then you move on.

[Frankie]

Yeah. And then dudes were hating all over the restaurant. They were so mad because my friend, she's very attractive. So she, you know, she's. As soon as we get done so we can get out of there, she's like screaming, check, please. Check, please. You know, acting like we need to go home or whatnot, because you got to do it, right? Exactly, exactly. And we. And we walk by these dudes that are giving us, you know, giving me a dirty look, you know, because we're engaged now. And she just screams, oh, it's so big. You know, that was so funny. And then we went off to Bailey's.

[Carl]

Okay. And Bailey's is where we enter intern Brandon.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's where I come in to play at this point, because I replace Melanie.

[Carl]

Okay.

[Brandon]

As Frankie's proposal partner.

[Carl]

This is pretty much the same situation. Is this on Mike, or is this.

[Frankie]

Well, again, my friend Melanie knows the manager, so she said, can he get

[H]

Melanie, your ex fiance?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Serge]

Right.

[Melissa]

Quick breakup.

[Frankie]

Yes. You know, it moved on fast. Well, you know, I'm greedy. So she tells him or asks him if we can grab the mic and says, I have a proposal to make.

[Carl]

And he has no idea that this is gonna be man on man proposal.

[Frankie]

And I asked Brandon to go to the bathroom, too, and he comes and gives me the mic. And then I have to wait until the song ends, give him the high sign. And then I get everybody's attention. And this place is packed.

[Josh]

So not only are there's how many people in Kennesaw with a packed bar, but they're in it. And you're proposing to a man who is black.

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Melissa]

We did have a black man that took part in this bit.

[Brandon]

It was two for Tuesdays also, so.

[Frankie]

And it was packed full of testosterone.

[Carl]

It was.

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Mind you, I live literally three miles down the road, so I'm seeing people I've seen On campus, in the complex.

[Carl]

We had no idea.

[Frankie]

And the more uncomfortable he got, the better I got.

[H]

Right?

[Frankie]

It made me want to do it even more.

[Carl]

Okay, so let's try to pay attention to the crowd. Sound of after Frankie proposes here to intern Brandon.

[Frankie]

I've known this man for a couple years. I met him here. I love this man. And tonight I want you to be my life partner.

[Carl]

No,

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Carl]

That wasn't awful.

[H]

That wasn't bad.

[Frankie]

Well, no, no, no, no, no. The, the cheers came from Melanie. Everything was silent until Melanie started clapping. The looks we got on camera from people and I had two friends at the bars who said that some people were not saying some nice things.

[Carl]

So if Melanie didn't get up and sort of act as the applause meter. Applause person, then it would have been silent.

[Frankie]

Well, without her clapping. And you know, you hear that first.

[Josh]

Woo.

[Frankie]

That was Melanie. And then people started going in on it. But other than that, it was completely science. You can see it in the video.

[H]

Are you upset that Melanie got over your relationship so quickly?

[Melissa]

Thank God.

[Brandon]

This was Tuesday night and they had the Braves on one of the tv and it was right before Jason Haywood hit the game tying home run. And that place.

[Melissa]

Oh my God, you're bringing up sports again.

[Brandon]

No, I'm just saying that place lit up when Hayward hit the home run.

[Carl]

Sure.

[Brandon]

And when we did our proposal thing, dead silent.

[Carl]

Really?

[Frankie]

You don't have to be embarrassed about it, baby.

[D]

You know, it's all right.

[Carl]

Nobody else matters.

[Frankie]

Just me and you here right now. We're here.

[Brandon]

Just me and you right now.

[Carl]

Somebody did say something to you about it though, right?

[Brandon]

I believe they said something to Frankie.

[Frankie]

Yeah. I went into the bathroom about 10 minutes later and some dude told me to F off twice. Just the second time, just to make sure I heard him.

[Carl]

Really?

[Frankie]

Yeah, I was just washing my hands and I heard it and I turned around. I didn't say anything. Then he wouldn't even look me in the face either.

[Carl]

Sort of under his breath, like cowardly.

[Frankie]

No, it wasn't under his breath, Was it, Carl?

[Melissa]

No,

[Frankie]

no, it was some dude that was sitting all alone.

[Carl]

So it's pretty.

[Brandon]

He was wanting on the action.

[Frankie]

Yeah. And you know, I, I, well, so I asked for his number plus me equals three.

[Carl]

It doesn't sound like it's a really fair comparison though, because, I mean, why not? I don't know, because it isn't a sports bar. Right.

[Melissa]

And no, I think that's an indication. Exactly. Of what would happen. Absolutely.

[Carl]

We're still not ready for this.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[H]

Now, it depends on, like, I think, if you did it at what's the place next to outright and.

[Melissa]

Well, if you did it in Midtown, you're gonna get applause. Of course.

[Brandon]

I volunteer Burt and Jeff to do the next one.

[Carl]

Then I got no beef again.

[Melissa]

Burt said no to Jeff the first year. Okay, I got no beef.

[Carl]

Okay, this is them again proposing to each other.

[Frankie]

I've known this man for a couple years.

[Serge]

I met him here.

[Frankie]

His name's Brandon. Everybody say, hi, Brandon. I love this man.

[Carl]

And tonight, now, at this point, everybody thinks you're gonna say that my boy'. He's getting married. He's getting married. Hey, this is my guy right here.

[Frankie]

I want you to be my life partner.

[Brandon]

That.

[Frankie]

That other high pitch scream was Brandon.

[Brandon]

I didn't know it was a joke

[Carl]

until afterwards, so there really wasn't much there.

[Brandon]

Melissa, I have no game. So what?

[Carl]

This is pretty typical.

[Melissa]

This is my life. I mean, y'.

[Carl]

All.

[Melissa]

Oh, this is fun. It's a bit. Oh, it's an experimentation. This is my life.

[Carl]

Well, it's not like you weren't there when we were brainstorming it. I.

[Melissa]

No, I'm just saying. But you're asking me my reaction. It's like, it's. I'm not surprised. I mean, it's, you know, I'm not surprised that somebody would refuse to do it. I'm not surprised that there would be no reaction, you know? Yeah, but of course it's hurtful. It's. It doesn't mean it doesn't ever get easier, you know?

[Josh]

I wonder what the reaction would be if you did it in a more gay friendly part of town. Like if you did it in midtown at Nikimoto's.

[Melissa]

There'd be cheers.

[Josh]

Would everybody cheer?

[Carl]

Do you think the straight couple would get less applause?

[Josh]

No, not at all.

[Frankie]

Same.

[Josh]

Yeah, but I don't know.

[Carl]

I don't know either. Maybe. Well, we got to do it again, guys.

[Josh]

One more time, dear Bird Show.

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[Carl]

Listen, it's the Bird show, all right? This should be the last day for all or nothing trivia, right?

[Melissa]

Please.

[H]

Yesterday should have been last.

[Josh]

I can't take the email anymore.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I know the answer. I know number five.

[Brandon]

I know.

[Melissa]

Like you tell me in the email and I'm going to give you the prize. All the prizes right there. No, it doesn't work that way on the phones.

[Josh]

And make all five guesses and get all five right.

[Melissa]

And I don't even know who the fifth person is.

[Josh]

I don't either.

[Carl]

Melissa, what is the question that we've been playing with for the last five days?

[Melissa]

Who are the top five most endowed men in Hollywood? That's what this list is. And all or nothing trivia works that Bert asked this question and then you give five answers, because there are five answers. And then he tells you how many you got right, but not which ones you got right. And if you've been listening over the past few days, then you'll see this pattern form. And the reason I tease about everybody saying I know number five is because pretty much, if you've been listening, you know, four of the five already and

[Carl]

Jen gave you a big old hint yesterday who the fifth guy was. And every day we add another prize. So check out this list of prizes, y'.

[Melissa]

All.

[Carl]

The first day it was John Mayer in concert at Aaron, so that stays in there. Second day was 60 minute massage at the Intercontinental Buckhead. Then we gave you 50 bucks to Fideaux. These are all on the line for today. We're not taking anything back. Okay. Tickets to Lady Antebellum at Aaron's amphitheater in May Facial from Soothe Massage Studio. Yesterday was a pair of tickets to Lilith Fair at Aaron's. And today, Sheryl Crow and Colby Calais tickets. So the stakes are high. It's a big old prize here. All you gotta do is get all five right.

[Josh]

All big old answers.

[Carl]

Hey, Josh. Good morning. Big yellow.

[Serge]

This is me.

[Carl]

Yeah. Are you Josh?

[Serge]

Yeah, yeah. It's cheater Josh from yesterday.

[Carl]

Hey, man, what's going on?

[Serge]

I think I got it, man. I'm gonna need a drum roll for it.

[Carl]

Okay. You're sure you got it this time?

[H]

That's confidence.

[Serge]

I did a lot of research yesterday, so I'm hoping I got it.

[Carl]

Okay. I mean, go to Hollywood and check

[Melissa]

out, like, blue at la.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hold on.

[Carl]

I mean, if you say this thing's over, I'm going to give you the. The trombones or whatever.

[Serge]

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna need it.

[Carl]

All right, here it is.

[Melissa]

Here we are.

[Josh]

He's gonna give you the trombones.

[Carl]

Who. Who are the five guys with the biggest trombones in.

[Melissa]

Calm down.

[Serge]

In Hollywood, I got Leonardo DiCaprio. Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Spade, and Hugh Jackman.

[Carl]

You are wrong.

[Serge]

You got 450 names and he's the youngest of five, man. And I remember every well endowed.

[Carl]

Sorry, man.

[Serge]

I appreciate it.

[Carl]

405.

[Serge]

Bye.

[Carl]

Bye.

[Melissa]

Appreciate the research.

[Carl]

Just gooey. Sonya, good morning. You are on Q100.

[Serge]

Hi, Bert, how are you? Good.

[Carl]

Sonia, how are you?

[Serge]

Good, good.

[Melissa]

I have it. Okay, here we are.

[Carl]

Here they are all five now.

[Serge]

Okay. Jamie Foxx, Ashton Kutcher, Leo DiCaprio, David Spade and Jack Black.

[Josh]

I don't want to think about that.

[Melissa]

You want to think about David Spade.

[Josh]

No.

[D]

Different strokes for different folks. Somebody likes them.

[Carl]

Sonya, you got four corrects.

[Serge]

Are you kidding me?

[Carl]

I am not kidding you.

[Serge]

Oh, thank you.

[Carl]

Okay, bye. Bye.

[Melissa]

That's why I listen to the fish

[Serge]

most of the time.

[Josh]

Hate those guys and their stupid objectifying of men.

[Carl]

Sam, good morning. You are on Q100.

[Brandon]

Good morning. Good morning.

[Serge]

Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jimmy Foxx, David Spade and Denzel Washington.

[Carl]

Denzel Washington. You got four of five.

[Serge]

Thanks, guys.

[Carl]

All right, bye.

[Serge]

Bye.

[D]

I love that dudes are answering this.

[H]

Yeah, I don't, because, like, if my. If my friend won it, I would have to give him a lot of grief and then go with him to Lilith Fair.

[Melissa]

A lot of chicks there.

[Carl]

Good morning to Jill. You are on Q100.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Huh?

[Serge]

Hey.

[Melissa]

Hey.

[Serge]

How are y'? All?

[D]

Good.

[Brandon]

Doing good.

[Carl]

How are you?

[Serge]

I'm good.

[Carl]

All right, let's get to this thing. We're looking for the five celebrities that are known as being the best endowed in Hollywood.

[Serge]

Okay? Jamie Foxx, Ashton Kutcher, Anthony Moon, Leonardo DiCaprio, David Spade.

[Carl]

There you go.

[Serge]

And David Arquette.

[Carl]

David Arquette. She says, okay, we're done.

[Melissa]

That's it.

[Carl]

David Arquette.

[Melissa]

David Arquette.

[Josh]

Really?

[Serge]

Before the clue too.

[Carl]

David Arquette.

[Serge]

And then I checked last night and he was younger than 5.

[Melissa]

Is it just me or the fact that only one black man is on this list? Fast. Fascinating.

[Carl]

It almost discredits it. It almost discredits the whole list.

[H]

Does anybody find it out?

[Josh]

It's why they've stayed married for so long.

[H]

David Arquette to Courtney Cox.

[Josh]

Courtney Cox, our cat.

[Carl]

It is actually a top 10 list. The other five guys on the list are this. Jamie Kennedy is on the top 10 list, but not in the top five. Brian Austin Green is on the list. He was guest at one point. Jared Leto.

[Thrive Cosmetics Spokesperson]

Leto.

[Carl]

Leto is on the list. Andy Dick. Come on.

[Serge]

Come on.

[Carl]

No. And a guy I'm not too familiar with. Michael Rosenbaum. He plays Lex Luthor on Smallville, is in the top 10 also. But Jill, you got all of those prizes. All right, There you go.

[Josh]

Jill, you should go brag to all your friends today.

[Carl]

I know, I'm so excited. That was me on Q100 telling them who had the biggest penises in Hollywood.

[Melissa]

That was me.

[Serge]

My fiance was not happy about me calling today.

[Carl]

So for those of you just checking it out today, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette and David Spade. All the five most well endowed celebrities in Hollywood. All right, Joe, you got it all. Sheryl Crow tickets. Colby Calais, Lilith Fair, Soothe Massage studio. Lady Antebellum. We're sending you to Fideaux 60 Minute Massage at the Intercontinental Buckhead. And you got tickets to John Mayer also.

[D]

Thank you guys.

[Melissa]

Congratulations.

[Josh]

Have a great weekend.

[Melissa]

You too.

[Carl]

You earned it. Bye bye.

[Serge]

Bye.

[Carl]

The third show. I want to mention this while I was at Claremont Lounge, legendary experience. Blondie dance. Blondie lap dance. Stacy bought it for me. I didn't know it was at the time.

[Melissa]

I mean, you got top shelf at Claremont to get Blondie to give you a life.

[Carl]

It was actually bought for somebody else. But she started working her way around the, you know, all the dudes and she took my head and firmly put it between her 73 year old breast.

[Melissa]

Boy.

[D]

Oh, stop it.

[Carl]

73. And you know what? I said thank you. She is a legend there. Thank you.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[H]

Get it.

[Carl]

The Bird Show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps, you know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses. So sign up now@chumbac casino.com that's chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary.

[Serge]

VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Carl]

The Bird show here is Serge. So we get into this heated conversation on Friday with Carl and I think the center of it was. What was the center? I mean, I don't want to say

[Melissa]

there was a bit in which we were going to have two guys go out into a public place and one was going to propose to the other to see the public's reaction to it. And Carl was initially approached to do this for us and Carl refused because he said he met it made him uncomfortable. So we confronted him on the air Friday about that.

[Carl]

So Serge called up at that point and he started. He had a very strong opinion about it and added himself on the radio. He's like this. First time I've ever talked about this, and here it is publicly. So we wanted to check in with him today to see if any family heard it, friends heard it, coworkers, and what's been going on. Hey, Serge.

[Serge]

Hey, how are you? How you doing?

[Melissa]

Good.

[Serge]

I am. I've taken off work today because Friday was pretty interesting.

[Melissa]

What happened?

[Serge]

Well, I'm not going to say the experience was bad. It was outside of my comfort zone, I'll tell you that. I've been pretty much sleepless all weekend because, you know, I've been working at the same place for last five years. And prior to this, if I talked about relationships with other co workers, it was in terms of the past because I haven't been in a relationship since 2004, and my last long term was with a woman. And whenever I talked about that relationship, it was like in a conversation about relationships with someone who was experiencing some challenges in a relationship of their own. And normally it was about the Dynamics of Men vs Women. And I want to make it clear that prior to Friday, I never really talked about any romantic relationships with men, except with one or two gay co workers that kind of were respectful of me not wanting to talk about it. And with them, I never really talked much about the relationships with women. I've had about three long term with women and two with men. And I've been pretty much dating men exclusively since that last relationship with a woman. So for the gay women, men and women at work, I'm pretty much gay. For those that know, and for the straight population, they assume I'm straight. So I was sort of under stealth mode. So that said, here's what happened. My work area is sort of at a service window, so I pretty much see everyone coming and going on a floor. And I'm kind of known throughout the office since I've been there for a while. And 15 minutes after I arrived from work, at work, the first person stopped by to tell me how courageous I was about talking about the situation. And she really appreciated getting to hear what I had to say and to assure that the firm was behind me, I was kind of surprised, even though I knew it was coming, because I know talking about on the radio kind of gives open license for people to just talk about it in general, but I certainly don't have the personality that allows me to go up to a co worker to address something like that about that sort of thing, even if it's to comfort them or something, you know, so that. That opened up and I was sort of really uncomfortable talking about it at work, but it was fine. I mean, we. I said I knew what was coming after I did it, Even though I told her it wasn't courageous. It was sort of impulsive. You know, I forgot that there was a voice disguiser that I could. I could. I could go behind, and I forgot to change my name. But at the same time, I wanted to be honest on the radio because I was kind of coming at you guys in defense of Carl. So I wanted to make sure I was completely out there if I was going to call anything into question.

[Josh]

And there has to be something subconscious in you that wanted to set this in motion.

[Serge]

Yeah. Although I'm not. Yeah, yeah, No, I admit that. I admit that it's been a year of change for me. 2010. So I guess this is part of it too.

[Josh]

Good for you.

[Melissa]

Why did you take today off? I'm curious. Because her comments were very supportive.

[Serge]

Well, here's what was coming.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Serge]

The next thing was that one of the gay co workers that I spoke with came up and was really making a big deal about the whole thing because I had actually posted what was going on on Facebook. And it's a closed Facebook, but I have, like a co worker filter there. And he got to see it and he came up and it wasn't necessarily not supportive, but it was sort of like he was really making like a. You know, you should have been out more. Not that he said those things, but he was really trying to be flamboyant in front of my desk, you know, and he was. He. It start. There's my boss sitting in a. Who doesn't know yet that's going on.

[Carl]

I can't quite pinpoint exactly what.

[Melissa]

What he did.

[Carl]

Yeah, what he did.

[Serge]

Okay, define him being flamboyant, you know, point. He was pointing his finger, literally saying, gay, gay, gay.

[D]

I like teasing you.

[Serge]

Yeah, he was teasing me. And I mean, we sort of have that kind of relationship, but I hadn't told my boss yet what was going on, and he was doing it in front of my boss's office. So I felt like the choice of being able to talk about it was getting taken out of hand.

[Carl]

So why the decision to take the day off then? Because you're not there today. Probably more people are gonna talk about it in the office than if you were there.

[Serge]

Right. Well, that's True. But you see, I'm simultaneously like a very private person and an open book at the same time. I mean, I realized that I had talked about. I went in, I worked through my day. I had several people stop by. I also had like a big wig by to tell me that the. The business was behind me and they wanted the whole surge, not just one person, you know, there. But then I started really freaking out about the information being so free. You know, it was. It was something that I did on impulse and that I was. Evidently, I was ready to talk about it, but I. Once you. It leaves your lips, it just goes.

[Josh]

And then it's out there and then it just goes and it gets moving and it's in motion. And it seems like you weren't really ready for it to be in motion. So by not going to work today, you're able to control a situation that you felt like was out of control on Friday.

[Melissa]

But I've got to say, for people who get fired from work, from being gay, I just want to put it in perspective that you are lucky to be at this office because you had more than one person come to you and say, the firm is behind you. And so I do think that all this insecurity is coming from within you. It's not a hostile work environment. And so many gay people would love to be in a situation in a conservative environment where somebody walks up to them and said, just want to let you know the firm is behind you. So you're. You're very lucky.

[Serge]

Well, here's the interesting thing. You remember when we were talking about the issue of the black community and homosexuality, all of the people that came to be supportive were all black, were all white. I'm sorry, they were all white. There were people that I used to talk to every morning that, that were. That are black that just walked by, except there was just one person who said hello. And then that was it.

[Carl]

Yeah, Carl and I had that conversation outside the office or outside the studio on Friday about this very thing too. Yeah, it's just. Yeah, it's very, very different. It's very, very different. And that's why his attitude was. He didn't want to get involved in it whatsoever, you know, and they.

[Serge]

I felt, granted, they may not all have listened to it and maybe I was hyper aware of being conscious of something, some hostility, but it was really strange. There. There's one. Only one other person came to talk that I went to. To talk to about it, and she was supportive. But all the other, it was like a ratio of 1 to like 10.

[Melissa]

Well, it's like, I mean, I reiterate that your insecurity is coming from within you. And I understand that the black community is not as open minded as the white community. And I challenged Friday that that needs to change and it shouldn't just be okay. But also I think that, you know, people wear different style of clothing and people don't pay attention to them. You know, like, there's so many things that you can be insecure about. And if you're not insecure, you put your energy toward the people that are supportive of you and it ends up being more white people. Then be supportive of the white people. You know, don't waste your energy worrying about the gu that passed by you that didn't look at you. Because, I mean, be proud of yourself and the firm's behind you and you're not going to lose your job. And it's not a hostile work environment just because a couple people didn't say hi. So I think that. Yeah, I don't understand why you're backing out of work today.

[Carl]

Hey, Serge. We got to run here, ma'.

[Melissa]

Am.

[Carl]

But thank you for sharing everything with us. Appreciate it.

[Serge]

Congratulations. I appreciate you giving me the form. Thanks a lot.

[Melissa]

It's a good thing. Congratulations. It's a good thing. It's not a bad thing.

[Carl]

The Burt Show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest here. And I have discovered a fun new escape from the daily grind. Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has hundreds of social casino style games. It's all free to play anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses. So get to chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary. Terms and conditions 21 plus the Birch Show.

[D]

So I am obsessed with as seen on TV products. I mean, I have been in the store many times. I have a bump it. I have one of those things. Pet eggs. I bought one of those ab belts, you know, you put around your abs. Because I thought I'd get abs easier.

[Carl]

The little shocky thing was.

[D]

Well, I had that in middle school. No, there was another one.

[Carl]

Middle school?

[H]

Yeah, we were really middle school.

[Carl]

You're trapping one of those, like little.

[D]

It was peer pressure back in the day. Like, everybody had one.

[Carl]

Who doesn't have abs in middle school?

[D]

Well, no, everyone just had one.

[Serge]

I don't know.

[H]

It was just A middle schooler with a six pack is a weird one.

[D]

You didn't do anything with it. I mean, it just was cool to own it. So I just owned one in middle school because I thought it was neat. No, they have now an ab belt that makes you sweat pretty much. It's a big heating pad.

[Josh]

Vibrate it like jiggles the abs away.

[D]

You literally put it on and it makes sure. Yeah, makes your, your stomach sweat.

[Carl]

I've seen the one that like makes your stomach abs supposed to like convulse and it's supposed to be equivalent to like a workout, but.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Anybody I've ever talked to that spent the 30 bucks on it said it's a total waste.

[D]

Yeah, no, it doesn't really do anything. You just sit there with a heating pad on your stom stomach and it makes you sweat and it doesn't do anything but 15 minutes a day, you're supposed to have amazing abs. Never saw those results, but obsessed with the store. So the other weekend I wake up early, I'm bored. It's like 7 in the morning, which the only thing on TV really is like infomercials, Right? So I always watch these infomercials. Usually it's for like the chopper, which I'm obsessed with.

[Melissa]

Now I make out the chopper.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Carl]

What is the chopper?

[D]

The chopper is just something you can use. You can use it in your kitchen and it just chops like fruits, vegetables, it can make shakes and it makes like ingredients really easy to like put stuff in the oven. And it takes like five minutes.

[H]

Awesome.

[Melissa]

Do you have anybody?

[H]

It's also like a knife.

[Melissa]

No, it's different.

[D]

It's different. It's chopped really fast and it's this.

[H]

A slap chop thing. Yeah, we have that.

[Melissa]

It didn't work.

[H]

It's fine. But it's loud. It's not like it's like wham. Like you're trying to like drive a nail.

[Carl]

Your ears hurt after you use it all night.

[H]

It's loud.

[D]

Well, they make it seem like it's really easy. And I think that's the point of infomercials. It makes it, the product appealing and it's amazing. Well, I live in an apartment complex. I don't have a yard. I don't have any plants that I grow. I don't have any of that. So I turn on the tv.

[Carl]

I think we were all in college and we know that you can grow plants inside.

[Melissa]

Come on now, Wendy, you can be a horticulturalist.

[D]

I don't have any plants right now. No, I'm not growing anything. There's nothing to mow. I don't have any of that. So I turn on this infomercial and I don't even have the product that I need to attach this other product to But I came within maybe five, five minutes. Like, the commercial was probably an hour long. I watched it the entire hour. At 59 minutes, I was about to call and buy this product. It was an attachment for your weed eater. So it is called the Weed Thrasher. And so much so I actually printed it out while the info was running.

[Carl]

So is it just longer blades on it or something? I mean, eventually it's gonna hit you in the shin, right?

[D]

No. There's 12 quick change cutters on this bad boy.

[H]

For what?

[D]

It just cuts your weeds better. I don't know what the appeal was.

[Carl]

You don't even have a yard.

[D]

I don't have a yard.

[Josh]

I don't even have a weed whacker.

[D]

No, I don't have a weed whacker. But I literally had my phone in my hands. Gonna call. Because this product can change your life. It can make your yard amazing. I was like, maybe I could just use it around the apartment complex. Like trim up everything around around the pool. I was like, I don't know. But this thing looks so amazing because the guy on there just selling it to me.

[Carl]

Those guys are so good at that. I talked to somebody this weekend at 10 Lizzies that was going out with a girl a months ago that used to drive to St. Pete because I think that's where a lot of these infomercials are filmed. She was making a thousand dollars an hour to do that. She was working, like 12 hours making a. They get $1,000 an hour to be one of those people that sells that stuff on qvc.

[Josh]

Like on qvc, right?

[D]

Well, they do an amazing job because I almost bought a weed thrasher for a yard that I don't own and was just going to do yard work for people for fun, just so I can have this 12 cutter set that I had to put on a weed eater. So then I'd have to buy a weed eater and the cutters at the same time.

[H]

How much does it cost?

[D]

Oh, I don't know. It doesn't have the price on here.

[Melissa]

Of course it doesn't.

[Carl]

Because when you want something that is so perfect for you, price is not.

[H]

Whatever it costs, I will buy it for you and a weed eater. If you just take care of my yard for the summer.

[Josh]

I will say that some of those things that you order on TV do work really great.

[Carl]

Like what?

[Josh]

Like those green bags that, like, keep your produce for longer. Have y' all seen those as well?

[Melissa]

Do they work?

[D]

Yes, they do it.

[Josh]

They totally work. Yeah, they keep your produce lasting longer. And then producer Tracy got me the perfect brownie for Christmas.

[H]

Oh, yeah, that thing's badass.

[Josh]

Does that work? Awesome. Yes, it works great.

[Carl]

She got your attention now, Melissa.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it's like, oh, brownies.

[Josh]

But you want the perfect brownies.

[H]

Of course. Melissa's giving us our attention. We're talking about weed and brownies in the same text.

[Serge]

Hello.

[Melissa]

That's right. Going back to the fact that, yes, you can grab a plant in the closet and have the perfect brownie all in the same house.

[Carl]

The Bird Show. Tyler reddick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail] let's Jumba.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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