Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, June 3 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, June 3 [Vault]

Date: June 3, 2026
Podcast Team: Bert & the Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and more)
Main Topics: Westboro Baptist Church controversy, resume “fudging” for a Pentagon job, epic sex-related damage stories, and psychic predictions about the show's future.

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Episode Overview

This engaging second half of The Bert Show’s June 3, 2026, episode dives deep into a spectrum of relatable, controversial, and hilarious topics. The morning crew kicks things off with a thoughtful discussion of the Westboro Baptist Church’s provocations, then shifts gears to offer real talk and advice to a listener grappling with resume honesty for a major Pentagon gig. The mood gets lighter (and wilder) as listeners recall the most expensive or embarrassing accidental damages caused during sex, and the hour winds down with devoted fans calling in and a look back at eerily accurate psychic predictions about the Bert Show’s cast.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Westboro Baptist Church Controversy

Timestamps: 00:01–11:53

• Introduction to WBC:
  Bert introduces the Westboro Baptist Church as an infamous group picketing the funerals of victims of anti-gay violence and generally spreading hate.

  “They seem to stir up controversy for the sake of controversy…” (Host – Bert, 00:06)

• Extreme Actions and Reactions:
  The group’s latest antics focused on hating Lady Gaga, debuting a parody of “Poker Face” (parody lyrics included). The cast unanimously expresses disgust at WBC’s ideology and lack of empathy, especially their use of children in protests and hateful songs.

• Religious Reflection:
  Josh (producer) reflects on biblical interpretations and how fringe figures skew scripture—

  “Nowhere in the Bible will you find the word hate and God...” (Host – Bert, 06:29)
  “This is what happens, I think, when you follow this line of reasoning…you begin to get these extreme fundamental...” (Josh, 05:39)

• Callers Weigh In:
  Callers draw comparisons to religious extremists, explain true Baptist values, and bemoan being lumped in with radicals. There’s consensus that WBC's views pervert the core message of Christianity (“God is love”) and their “us vs. them” mentality sows more hate.

  “They just fuel themselves up with that adrenaline rush of the hate.” (Caller, 11:09)

2. Listener Dilemma: Fudging the Resume for Pentagon Job

Timestamps: 12:08–24:24

• Set-Up:
  “Brad” (voice disguised), a listener, calls in for advice about stretching the truth on his resume for a lucrative Pentagon contract job—tripling his salary if he lands it.

  “...the only thing that I changed on it was the title headings.” (Brad, 18:23)

• Honesty vs. Opportunity:
  The cast and several callers discuss how common it is to “embellish” resumes, especially when the skillset is there but formal credentials are lacking.

  “You just pick up what you do while you go along.” (Caller - Finance Company Owner, 22:00)

• Advice from the Audience:
  Sentiment is supportive—advice includes “cram for the test,” and as long as nothing is falsified for background checks or certifications, most say: go for it. The higher stakes of a Pentagon job do spur more concern, but the overall vibe is “don’t let imposter syndrome hold you back.”

  “Get your foot in the door and then make things happen once you get there.” (Caller, 21:26)

3. ‘Guinness Book of World Records’ for Sex-Related Damages

Timestamps: 24:29–33:32

• Launching the Segment:
  The crew shifts to a lighter topic: “Most Damage Caused by Sex.” Hilarious stories emerge—holes in drywall from wild sex, swing-installation mishaps, candle-induced fires in hotel rooms, and even a disastrous in-shower incident resulting in $3,000 damage and two days of no water for a condo building.

  “If you break something and got to go to the hospital…that counts too…” (Host – Bert, 29:10)

• Listener Calls: Wildest (and Most Expensive) Stories:

  • $200 in hotel repair after burning a chair and blanket (28:56)
  • $3,000 in condo plumbing damage (30:17)
  • Broken arm during sex—while pregnant (31:24)
  • TOP CASE: Totalling a new $42,000 truck after getting very distracted while driving (32:12)

  “$42,000. That can't be beat.” (Host – Bert, 33:21)

4. Caller Love & Psychic Prediction Flashback

Timestamps: 33:38–38:51

• Fan Connection:
  Longtime listener from Houston bemoans missing The Bert Show since moving, lobbying for syndication or satellite radio:

  “I need y'all to get on satellite so I can listen to y'all in the car in Houston.” (Caller, 33:41)

• Psychic Predictions:
  With rumors swirling about cast changes, a caller references a psychic prediction from last year that someone would leave the Bert Show. The crew plays clips of the psychic's forecasts, noting how some predictions seem eerily “on the nose” now that real-life departures are possible.

  “...you have a lot of big changes that are coming in around your business and your work, where you're currently working. There is actually somebody going to be leaving very soon…” (Psychic, 37:53 & 38:24)

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Memorable Quotes and Moments

• “Disgusting is the only word I can think of.” — Josh (Producer), reacting to WBC, 04:03
• “God is really the only judge. And so how are they able to be so judgmental but then still claim God as their own?” — Co-host, 04:59
• “It's us versus them. And that's such a scary…” — Caller, 10:15
• “If you can pick up your job in two months, you can do your job forever.” — Finance Company Owner, 22:00
• “All I did was change the job titles…” — Brad (listener), on resume tweaks, 18:23
• “I was using the faucet as leverage ... the next thing I knew, the faucet, the shower head, all the piping ... has been ripped out of the wall.” — Sarah (voice disguised), on condo flooding, 29:51
• “...brand new truck that I had purchased at $42,000 into the woods.” — John (voice disguised), on wildest ‘sex damage’ story, 32:40

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Westboro Baptist Church & religion debate: 00:01–11:53
• Listener Brad’s Pentagon job/resume advice: 12:08–24:24
• Sex-related damage stories (call-in segment): 24:29–33:32
• Listeners missing the Bert Show/predictions: 33:38–38:51

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Tone & Style Notes

True to the Bert Show’s style, the dialogue is fast, relatable, and humorously candid, seamlessly blending debate on social issues, personal confessions, and laugh-out-loud moments. The cast remains empathetic and nonjudgmental while offering honest advice and opening the phone lines for community-driven radio.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a classic slice of The Bert Show—moving from sobering conversations about American extremism to everyday dilemmas and escalating to crowd-sourced hilarity about intimate mishaps. It showcases why the show is beloved: realness, empathy, laughter, and a warm sense of community.

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For more or to get involved, visit: www.thebertshow.com

Transcript

[Brad]

Here.

[Host - Bert]

Birdshow.

Do you guys know the name Westboro Baptist Church? No.

[Caller or Co-host]

I don't know.

[Host - Bert]

You probably will after I tell you what they're known for. This is like the really hardcore church group that seems to protest everything. They're a Baptist church and they seem to stir up controversy for the sake of controversy, but they seem to pick at everything. Like if you go to Wikipedia, it says the Westboro Baptist Church is an independent Baptist church and an anti gay hate group. The WBC is not affiliated with any known Baptist conventions or associations. Group carries out daily picketing and travels nationally to picket the funerals of gay victims of murder. Gay bashinger. People who have died from complications related to aids. You guys know this group?

[Caller or Co-host]

Wait, so they hate gay bashers or

[Host - Bert]

they hate gay people? Gay people.

[Caller or Co-host]

That's awful.

[Host - Bert]

The group came into the national spotlight in 1998 when they were featured on CNN picketing the funeral of Matthew Shepard. That was the young guy from Wyoming who was beaten to death by two men because of homosexuality. And it wasn't that long ago that they caused quite a stir cuz the entire choir put together this song.

[Westboro Baptist Church Member (voice in parody song)]

You're all headed straight to hell. God hates the world and all her you, everyone Face a fiery day for your proud city.

[Host - Bert]

Are kids singing in this thing?

[Westboro Baptist Church Member (voice in parody song)]

It's too late to change his mind. You lived out your vain lives storing up God's wrath for all eternity.

[Host - Bert]

All right, well, now they have put their aim at Lady Gaga and they put a song together yesterday that is a parody of Poker Face. So the song is going to go on and on. It's not even a good parody. And literally keeps saying that God hates Lady Gaga, Which is shocking to hear. Right?

[Caller or Co-host]

Horrible. So yesterday people claim to be religious and they're the most judgment people I've ever heard.

Hateful.

[Host - Bert]

I brought Josh in here, our producer Josh, because he's probably. Hey, how are you everybody?

[Josh (Producer)]

Saw the girl sound great today, by the way.

[Host - Bert]

Were you including me in that whole thing?

[Josh (Producer)]

Yes.

[Host - Bert]

When you said all the girls. Yes.

[Caller or Co-host]

Josh needs an at bat song.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

I feel like.

[Host - Bert]

I know, I don't know, come up

[Josh (Producer)]

or something off the top of my head. I don't know.

[Caller or Co-host]

He.

[Host - Bert]

He told me as soon as he took the job, he's like, I don't want to be on the air, dude. So you can, you can see how. How serious I was about that.

[Josh (Producer)]

I enjoy the listening to the show and being able to contribute off the

[Host - Bert]

air, but Josh is a guy that does like all of our production off the air and stuff like that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Does a great job.

[Host - Bert]

And he's probably, I would say, the most religious on the show.

[Josh (Producer)]

Maybe, Probably. Maybe.

[Host - Bert]

I mean, you were really seriously thinking about becoming a priest at one point.

[Josh (Producer)]

I like the God.

[Host - Bert]

And he sent me a flyer that the same Westboro Baptist Church put out yesterday, and it says, God hates Lady Gaga. And it's shocking, says wbc, to picket this sleazy God hater at the Fox Theater. This is in St. Louis on Thursday. Thou hats the horse forehead. Thou refusest to be ashamed. Will he reserve his anger for you ever? Will he keep it to the end? Behold, thou hasn't spoken and done evil things as thou couldest. And it's, it's, it goes on and on and on and on, but it's shocking. The top of it says God hates Lady Gaga, and the bottom of it says, you're going to hell.

[Caller or Co-host]

What is the deal with this group? I mean, are they national? Are they interpreted?

[Josh (Producer)]

I think it's just a dude. I think it's actually one guy that sort of runs this thing. He's one sort of hate preacher.

[Host - Bert]

He's got followers, though.

[Josh (Producer)]

Well, he's out of Topeka, Kansas. And I think everyone on the show knows I used to work at a radio station in Kansas City. And we were. This was years ago. We were doing an NSYNC show and they were protesting with, you know, signs and calling. I don't even know how to even say the word. But we're calling NSYNC names, I guess, because they dance and they're guys and so they're protesting it. So we actually got used to seeing these guys and it's just evil and disgusting. And you sent that to me yesterday and said, listen, Saudi, and I just wrote you back. I'm like, this is disgusting, you know, and you're like, well, you come on and share. I don't even know what to share except disgust that I think everyone has listening to that or most people. This exists and that people wrap it up in. God is the. Disgusting is the only word I can think of.

[Host - Bert]

I think it just goes. It goes against every base principle that every person is taught about God, if you believe in God, is that he loves everybody.

[Caller or Co-host]

Right.

[Host - Bert]

So to actually hear the words God hates Lady Gaga.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah. And how are they, the people, determined to say that? I mean, God's really the only judge. And so how are they able to be so judgmental but then still claim God as their own? I don't understand that. I don't understand anybody who's that way.

[Josh (Producer)]

Yeah, I wish Melissa was here because I'm sure, I mean, she faces this, I'm sure sometimes with people.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, sure, yeah, I'm sure she does. And this seems so extremist that it seems easy to sort of like, oh, sign them off. Because this is some like crazy extremist group. But my question is the mentality of these people, like, where do they, where, where do they find that entitlement?

Yeah, I was just gonna ask. Do they think they're the only good people in the world or is everybody who's not in this cult following?

[Josh (Producer)]

Isn't this the. The same kind that would. You know, these are awful things we're talking about and I hate to talk about them, even out loud. That would hurt someone who is a doctor who might be at an abortion clinic. I think this happened recently. I don't know if it was in the news. This sort of extreme fringe that those of us who might be within the Christian community need to reach out to these people because they're around us. I knew nuts back in the Midwest. This is where what happens, I think when you follow this line of reasoning, this, I have the answers, you don't. That makes me better than you. When you follow that, you begin to get these extreme fundamental. It's like our own version of jihadism. And nowhere in the Bible, fundamentalism to the extreme. I don't even know if fundamentalism is the right word for it.

[Host - Bert]

Nowhere in the Bible will you find the word hate and God. So really it's their own interpretation, or will you?

[Josh (Producer)]

In the Old Testament, you find all kinds of like eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. And so that's where a lot of this is based. You know, it's not, you know, like you got Jesus coming along and he's saying the law doesn't work anymore. This is all theology stuff, which I enjoy.

[Host - Bert]

I know you do. We can talk about it on a

[Josh (Producer)]

100,000 watt radio station.

[Host - Bert]

I get all excited talking about the Biggest Loser and you're all excited about talking about the Bible.

[Josh (Producer)]

When is Father Krunk coming in, though? We haven't made in the new year, I think so.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, Aaron, good morning. Here on Q100.

[Caller - Finance Company Owner]

What's up?

[Host - Bert]

Bird show. Hey, what's happening?

[Caller or Co-host]

Well, these guys, you know, I think as Christians, these guys remind me of Pharisees. You know, the guys who are basically against Jesus because he was this religious guy coming out and, oh, he's sort of against the church. And these guys sound just like those people. They think they're so much better than Everybody else, because they follow this religious law to the nth degree, but yet they have no real relationship with God.

That's the bottom line.

These people are idiots because God doesn't hate homosexuals. He doesn't hate Lady Gaga and all these other people. He loves everyone. And the bottom line is these people think that they're better because they're following maybe some Old Testament rule. And they do sort of sound like jihad or something like that.

They're freaking crazy.

[Josh (Producer)]

Yeah, I think there's a danger in these people eventually. Very dangerous. You know, you think about, have you heard about this? And I can't think of the exact psalm, but there's this group, and I don't think it's these same people that have found a verse in Psalms that is something about a ruler, may his days be short. And so they printed up these stickers. And if you follow the verses after this, this is Old Testament psalm verse. You follow these verses, afterwards, it begins to say, may his wife be husbandless and children fatherless. This is awful. This is somewhere, this sort of locked up verse that's taken out of context. I don't know the context. And it's put on this Obama sticker saying, oh, it's just a joke. We're just praying that his days would be short because he's a liberal. But in the wrong hands, this becomes some sort of rational to something that's evil.

[Host - Bert]

And then you start communicating with the ignorant that buy into the philosophy. And before, you know, you have a cult group, which is what it sounds like this almost is.

[Josh (Producer)]

And there are millions of people out of the exact number, millions in America that lean towards this and move towards this.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, Nick, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host]

Hey, Bert, right?

[Host - Bert]

What's happening, man?

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, well, I mean, when I heard you talking about this, I heard you say it was Independent Baptist, and I started calling because, you know, that that's what I am. And I had to give, you know, some representation because that's not what Independent Baptists are about. I mean, I don't know where this church gets. Gets all this. All this stuff, you know, because, I mean, if you read the Bible, you would know God doesn't hate anybody, but he does hate sin. So these people are taking it to God hates the person, but in reality, God hates the sin they're doing.

[Host - Bert]

And also the reality is, is like, once people hear about Westboro Baptist Church and they're branded with Independent Baptist, right? If you tell people that you're an Independent Baptist, they'll Assume that you're as nuts as these people.

[Caller or Co-host]

Well, yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing that frustrates me so much is being a Christian and being sort of lumped into, you know, either. Either people that are this extremist or, like, by saying Christian, you are obviously, like, people assume that you're conservative.

[Josh (Producer)]

Yeah. What about these people?

[Caller or Co-host]

If you're Christian. And I'm like, wait, no, no, no, no. That does. Those two don't necessarily go together, to me.

[Josh (Producer)]

And what about these people? Speaking makes you interested in anything they have to say. Why would anyone want to be like these people?

[Host - Bert]

But there are.

[Caller or Co-host]

But it's the us versus them mentality. It's. I want to join a team and I want to be rabid about that team, and I want my team to win. Some people choose to do it over college football and root for their bulldogs and whatever, but these people have chosen to do it with religion. It's us versus them. And that's such a scary.

[Josh (Producer)]

And where does it lead us?

[Host - Bert]

It leads us into more hate. Hey, Lisa. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host]

Hey, guys. This group is the same group that protests at military funerals. This is the same group that just a few months ago, my kids go to a Jewish daycare. They had a protest in front of the daycare center. So these people pretty much hate everybody they spend.

[Host - Bert]

I think I read this on Wikipedia yesterday and Wikipedia, take it for what it's worth. Spend about $350,000 on picketing each and every year. Going to different funerals, like you said, going to different daycares.

[Caller or Co-host]

They just fuel themselves up with that adrenaline rush of the hate.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. Just to say.

[Caller or Co-host]

Right. And like Josh said, they disguise it with God. Sad.

[Host - Bert]

And I mean, and the pictures are shocking, too, because they're in a studio in this first clip that I played you guys, much like it was in the 80s. And it's children. They have their children with them also, you know,

[Westboro Baptist Church Member (voice in parody song)]

and all her people.

[Host - Bert]

Now with the Lady Gaga song, I think she's done the absolute smart thing and not responded to it whatsoever. Now it's just a matter of time before she's at a press conference and somebody asks her about it. But up until this point, she hasn't said a word.

[Caller or Co-host]

If she acknowledges it, it gives it more attention.

[Host - Bert]

That's what I'm saying. I hope the question never comes up, but it's.

[Westboro Baptist Church Member (voice in parody song)]

You'll see what he's got.

[Host - Bert]

The Birch Show. The Birch Show.

Here is Brad, and he's obviously a Little reluctant to talk about this, but I think he's looking for a little advice. He needs to be on the voice disguiser and his real name's not Brad, but like a whole bunch of you guys. And I haven't filled out a resume in a while, but I fudge on it too. Who doesn't?

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, yeah, exactly.

A little bit.

Who hasn't embellished what they're doing?

[Host - Bert]

And he has an opportunity to triple his salary. Problem here is the stakes are really high because it's an application and a job with the Pentagon.

[Caller or Co-host]

Just sort of a big deal.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah, pretty big.

[Caller or Co-host]

It's more than like a department store job.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, Brad.

[Brad]

Hey.

[Host - Bert]

Hey.

[Brad]

How are you doing? Good, how are you?

[Host - Bert]

As Wendy said, this is not Banana Republic that you're applying for here. This is. This is the Pentagon.

[Brad]

Very, very true.

[Host - Bert]

So this is pretty serious stuff. I want to be as vague as you want to be because I don't want to get you in trouble and I know you're calling for some advice, so why don't you give the details and we'll ask questions and if you're comfortable answering them, then we'll go for it.

[Brad]

Okay, wonderful. The deal is I was in the military and one of my friends has been on with this company. It's actually a contract group that works for Department of Defense and it does require security clearance and everything else. However this job is, takes me beyond what my current skill level is. And so on the resume what I've done was took a copy of the job description and matched it up with exactly what they were looking for and stuff like that. Had been working on getting on with the company since back in April and they finally flew me up for an interview and I over that weekend, in between Thursday and Monday, they spent a little over $2,000 on me, put me in a four star hotel. Stuff I'm really not used to getting or being treated like this also requires a security clearance. So just to clarify one thing, this is, as far as the resume goes, that was one thing to get hired. Now security clearance, of course is going to be conducted by the government, so it's going to be extensive and everything on my background and stuff like that. So right now what, what is weighing is the security clearance, which I don't see anything to hold me back from that. Once that goes through, then the company is going to want me out within two and a half weeks and once I get approved, as long as everything goes through, then I got to move up within two and a half weeks and I'm gonna be in a brand new field that I don't really know that much about. I'm gonna have to study and everything. But it's gonna take me from currently making right, right around 20,000 up to a signed own for about 73,000.

[Caller or Co-host]

Wow.

[Host - Bert]

So that's a major jump right there. How much of a departure is this gonna be? Like, how much of an education are you destined to fail in this job, I guess is what I'm asking. Do you have any experience in the job that you've got?

[Brad]

I do because a lot of it is pretty much coordinating the activities and everything within this job. As far as my education level goes, I've got almost enough to have my bachelor's degree complete. As soon as I went up and I interviewed, I went through five interviews, I was offered the job, went ahead and signed up with them, pending the background check. Then I went to their Christmas party. I met everybody the very next day. And most of the people have master's degrees, very few have bachelor's degrees. And with this, they're expecting me to have my bachelor's done very shortly, which I can work on once I get up there. And it's probably going to take me more than two classes going up there, so it's probably going to take me about two more semesters to get that guy.

[Caller or Co-host]

Did you let them know that you don't have a bachelor's degree or do they know that?

[Brad]

Yes, yes, I did let them know that the bachelor's degree is not complete at this time. But, you know, I do have full intentions of completing that and then pursuing my master's degree after that.

[Host - Bert]

Is this the kind of job where you would be putting other people's lives and stuff at risk? I mean, there are so many different jobs at the Pentagon. I mean, there, it's literally its own city. But the job that you have, are you putting anybody at risk?

[Brad]

No, the job that I have would not be directly involving, you know, the troops or, you know, the US citizens or anything like that. This is. And there's going to be a bunch of checks and balances. My thing is pretty much overseeing a project that has multiple aspects or categories that move in at one time. And my thing is to oversee that and pretty much act as the center link and the glue to keep the project together.

[Caller or Co-host]

So you're like the project coordinator. What kind of skills is it going to require from you that you don't have?

[Brad]

Actually, the biggest thing is going to, you know, begin to know the terminology and stuff like that. As far as performance of the job, I know that I can do that as far as supervising the project and coordinating the project. But the biggest thing is, you know, they speak a total different language up there. I've already been coached on some of my writing skills need to be adjusted, especially dealing with people with their masters and stuff like that. Just various things like that. So I would be giving out everything here in Atlanta to go up in pursuit of possibly. Well, not possibly, but, you know, more money.

[Host - Bert]

Do you have. You have family in a house and kids?

[Brad]

No. So I would be moving on my own in pursuit of making more money, not only for myself, but also to help my parents.

[Caller or Co-host]

So.

Okay.

[Host - Bert]

Okay.

[Caller or Co-host]

Is there anything on your resume that you blatantly lied about that would be informational?

[Brad]

Now, the breakdown of the current jobs that I. All that remained the same. The only thing that I changed on it was the title headings. As far as a job title, instead of the current job that I'm in, you know, changing it to operations officer or assistant operations officer, different things like that.

[Host - Bert]

Okay. All right. You asked for advice and plenty is coming in. 404, 741Q100. Hey, Sarah, good morning.

[Caller or Co-host]

Good morning.

[Host - Bert]

How are you?

[Caller or Co-host]

I'm doing well.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

How are y'? All?

[Host - Bert]

Good. So we've got Brad here, who are. Has fudged a whole bunch on his resume, and he's supposed to take this job at the Pentagon that is really over his head and he's not even sure that he should go through with it now.

[Caller or Co-host]

Right. And I wanted to comment. I actually put people into the Pentagon, and I'm actually the person who. One of the levels of clearance is actually a public trust, and that's like your lower level type of clearance. And within that, I do have to check certification. So I don't know what aspect he's talking about in regards to like, project management or project coordination. But if it's any type of, like a Microsoft certification or any type of like a train the trainer certification, we do find those things out. So if that's something that he's fudged on on his resume, that will come out.

Brad doesn't sound like that.

[Host - Bert]

Is there any risk there for you?

[Brad]

No, because the certifications as listed on my resume are there. The pretty much the only thing that was changed was job titles in which I failed. But all my certifications, education, everything on the background check, I was 100% honest, and everything's been listed. The background check.

[Host - Bert]

How dependent are your parents right now on your current income?

[Brad]

The current income I'm pretty much helping them because they had to lost a lot when the economy went down as far as retirement. And so they're getting older and I'm just trying to help them go ahead and pay off their house and, you know, get steady on their feet in case something should ever happen to them because dad's the only person working.

[Caller or Co-host]

That's sweet. You're a good guy.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, Daniel, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host]

Hey, how you doing, Bert?

[Host - Bert]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller or Co-host]

Good. Yeah. Actually, I had done this when I got out of the military and put that I for some jobs right around six figures that I had worked with different protocols in the IT field and done different things in the IT field. And I got these jobs. And what I did was prior to going into the job, I just studied what they asked for and got and being able to adapt to the knowledge and I was able to have success with these jobs. And I've done that with like two jobs on different contracts, actually.

So you just say crammed for the test.

Yeah, exactly. Just whatever they're asking for, you study it, you know, and if as long as, you know, you have some sort of background in that field, it should be no problem learning it, you know, so you get to there, you can, you know, you know, communicate properly with them.

[Host - Bert]

So get your foot in the door and then make things happen once you get there. But you say, go ahead and take it.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, absolutely, Absolutely. I've had a lot of success with it and, you know, not that I try to, you know, mislead any job, but, you know, you read what they want and you've done part of it, but you haven't done some of the stuff they require, but, you know, you can do it. So you just study for it, you know, and then you get there. It's all, you know, relative.

So.

[Host - Bert]

Thank you.

[Caller or Co-host]

I can completely agree.

I think so too.

He didn't lie about any of the important stuff. He was up front, honest. The background check, it was cleared. He's fine.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, Marty, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller - Finance Company Owner]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Caller or Co-host]

All?

[Host - Bert]

What's happening?

[Caller - Finance Company Owner]

Well, I own a finance company and you can come in with all the credentials you want, and I could pull somebody right off the street and within two months, you can teach them anything they're supposed to do in a daily activity of their job. It doesn't have anything to do with what you did before. A couple skills on typing, couple skills on word processing and Microsoft, and you can nudge the Person beside you, learn what? If you can pick up your job in two months, you can do your job forever. So all this. All this I'm so scared about. What am I going to do? How am I going to do it? What am I doing? He goes in and he asks a billion questions, write down all the notes, take very, very good notes, learn his job, go home at night, study the notes. He could be better than anybody in there within two months because no one else is going to work and studying. Nobody studies at work. You just pick up what you do while you go along.

[Host - Bert]

So you're saying, go for it.

[Caller or Co-host]

Also go for it.

[Host - Bert]

I think when you throw the word Pentagon in there, it just changes things. Like, it's like you said, this is not Banana Republic. This is not Old Navy we're talking about. It's not Q100 we're talking about. This is the Pentagon, you know?

[Caller or Co-host]

Right.

[Host - Bert]

And it just feels like the stakes are so high, but there are. There literally are thousands of jobs at the Pentagon, from very high class, you know, very high classification to secretarial stuff.

[Caller or Co-host]

And is everybody at the Pentagon government? Didn't you say something earlier this morning about not necessarily it being government?

[Host - Bert]

He said he's contracted out. Right. So you're not. You're not military. You're gonna be contracted.

[Brad]

Right. There's contract.

[Host - Bert]

But everybody that steps foot in there has to get security clearance, of course, which is what he's getting. But most are calling up saying, go for it, man. I mean, you don't have family. It's not like you're moving your entire family up to D.C. right? And they're saying, go for it.

[Caller or Co-host]

Just don't try to sneak into a White House dinner.

[Host - Bert]

That may be the easiest thing that you actually can do.

[Caller or Co-host]

They're getting a little tighter on that these days.

[Brad]

I'll uphold the respect of the state of Georgia. I won't sneak in.

[Caller or Co-host]

Okay.

[Host - Bert]

When are you supposed to make this move?

[Brad]

I find out the final answer by the end of this week or first of next week, and then at that point, it'll be within two and a half weeks after that. They want me at my desk up there working.

[Host - Bert]

Well, we got to catch up with you before you take the job and then like a month into it. Yeah, if you make it a month.

[Caller or Co-host]

If he's still treading water.

[Host - Bert]

Right? Yeah, if you even make it a month. All right, Brad, thanks a lot, man.

[Brad]

Okay, thank you.

[Host - Bert]

Talk to you later.

[Brad]

Bye.

[Caller or Co-host]

Bye.

[Host - Bert]

The bird show. The bird show.

[Caller or Co-host]

Well, this phrase is actually going to lead to this Question. So let me give you the phrase and then the question to follow up, and then I'll tell you the story. Head through a wall. Head through the wall is the phrase. And then most damage caused by sex.

Oh, wow.

Okay. Me and a group of friends went over to these fratty tatty guys. They're like older frat guys who now live in this one house altogether. They went to college together. We're in the same fraternity together. So this is where we were hanging out. So just to give you a scenario of the kind of house we were

in, they're extending college by a few years in their real life by a lot of years.

It's the old school house by a lot of years. So these are, like, things are all over the floor. Bedrooms are a mess. So we're just walking around, chilling out in the house, and we noticed this huge hole in the wall over this one guy's bed. Of course, there's no headboard, no nothing. So all you can see is this

huge hole in the wall, in the drywall. And, like, we're talking, like, how big?

Like, big.

Like plate size big. Like a dinner plate size, at least.

Okay, so huge hole in the wall. Noticeable, obviously. So me and my girlfriends are like, what is going on? Why do you have a hole in the wall and why is it not fixed? He said they had a drunken night. He took a girl back, right? Took a girl back. And then they did. And he put all. She. He put a hole through his wall with her head.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. I don't believe that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Wow.

[Host - Bert]

I think they were probably playing some basketball game in the house or something.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, he got mad and kicked it or something.

I don't think so. From the angle, the position of where

it was, it could have happened.

[Host - Bert]

So it was low.

Low enough to the mattress work to

[Caller or Co-host]

the mattress that it could have been possible. And these are frag. I mean, of course. I mean, they're gonna get chicks. They know how to pick up women. They're good at it. I mean, they do that so hard.

They've gotta be hot if they're still bringing home women and there's still a

[Host - Bert]

hole in the wall. Like, are we talking about.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, mattress on the floor type thing?

I mean, it's like. I mean, it's a good sized bed, but there's no headboard. It's just a mess. It's disgusting. But they're still gonna get chicks. Chicks get drunk enough.

Let's.

[Host - Bert]

Let's go ahead and assume that the guy's story is absolutely real. Okay.

[Brad]

Okay.

[Host - Bert]

So he's having sex. Woman's head goes through the wall. So he has to call a drywaller in or whatever, and it costs him 35, $50 to get it fixed. Right. If we were doing a Burt show, Guinness Book of World Records, and you guys were gonna call and get involved. 404-741. Q100. What is the amount of damage that you did during sex? So, like, your foot hit a candle, candle hits the drape, catches fire to the house.

[Caller or Co-host]

Sounds like a scene out of a movie.

[Host - Bert]

And now you're talking about $250,000 houses burning to the ground because you guys were getting it on with candles.

[Caller or Co-host]

It's believable.

[Host - Bert]

It could be. I mean, it could be.

[Caller or Co-host]

It could be anything.

[Host - Bert]

One of a million different things.

[Caller or Co-host]

I have a friend, and I cannot say too much about who she is, but who has installed a swing.

[Host - Bert]

So this must be somebody we know.

[Caller or Co-host]

I don't think you do. But it had to be installed.

[Host - Bert]

Am I looking at her?

[Caller with voice disguiser]

No,

[Host - Bert]

not yet.

[Caller or Co-host]

But she had to have it installed in the studs of her house, like her friend. She was. Well, anyway, they had to install it through the attic so that the swing would be secured or whatever.

Yeah.

And I think if you typically go in there, it appears as though a chandelier would go there, but that's not really what it was installed for, that kind of thing. So I'm thinking if you installed that in of front properly, that could have been a serious hole in the ceiling. You know, stuff like that.

[Host - Bert]

You got to really commit to a chair like that. It takes a lot of effort to make sure that thing's gonna. I'm assuming.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yes.

[Host - Bert]

Right.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yes. You do have to make sure it's secure.

[Psychic]

Hey.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, Ann, you're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

Hey, guys. Hi. Well, it was Valentine's Day. We had the candles going, Knocked over the candles onto the chair that it was on. It was a leather chair. It was in a hotel room. And we also caught the blanket on fire, and we had to replace it because it was being paid for by a company because they were on transfer. So we had to fix the chair and replace the blanket.

[Caller or Co-host]

What was the price tag that?

[Caller with voice disguiser]

About $200.

[Host - Bert]

All right, so our starting. If we're starting a Guinness Book of Worlds records on damage you've done While having sex, $200 is our starting point. Now, this could be personal injury also.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, that's true.

[Host - Bert]

So if you break something and you got to go to the hospital, you've got the emergency room. Cause you've got your neck brace, crutches, insurance. Hey, Sarah, you're on the voice disguiser. Good morning.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

Good morning, y'.

[Caller or Co-host]

All.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

Well, my husband and I were celebrating our first wedding anniversary in November. And, you know, things are a little tight for everybody, so we decided not to have, like, a big trip or anything. We just went out to a nice dinner and came home. And we were in the shower. Things got kind of heated, and I was using the faucet as leverage, and I kind of, like, had my foot propped up on the faucet.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, no.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

And he was kind of saying, like, you know, can you get any higher? Get a little higher. And so I sort of pushed down, and the next thing I knew, the faucet, the shower head, all the piping that connects them, the piping in the ceiling and the floor has been ripped out of the wal. Everywhere. All the tile is broken. Our Neighbors called about 10 minutes later because we lived in a condo, and it had ripped the pipe out of their ceiling as well.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, no.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

We had to turn off the water to our entire building for two days. $3,000 to fix. And everybody knew exactly how it.

[Host - Bert]

$3,000. Thousand dollars is the Guinness record right now.

[Caller or Co-host]

And I didn't even get to.

[Host - Bert]

Did it finish the deal?

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, man.

[Host - Bert]

I'll say. I'll be the only one to admit this, but I think sex in a shower is overrated.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, really?

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. I mean, it's good from time to time, but, I mean, for the most part, it's just. Yeah.

[Caller or Co-host]

Depends on what your shower looks like.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah, well, we're. It's. Ours is like a little Barbie one, because we have. We live a little bitty. We're little people with a little house. There's not a lot of room in there. Hey, Alex. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host]

Hey.

[Brad]

Hey, guys.

[Host - Bert]

Hey, man. $2,500 or $3,000, I should say, is our Guinness record right now for most damage done during sex.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, well, I mean, mine didn't cost. It may have cost my wife.

[Host - Bert]

How much?

[Caller or Co-host]

No, see, the thing is, you know, we're doing our thing, and just somehow, I mean, we fell on the floor,

[Brad]

and I fell on top of her,

[Host - Bert]

and she broke her arm.

[Westboro Baptist Church Member (voice in parody song)]

Oh, no.

[Host - Bert]

And this was. Actually got like.

[Caller - Finance Company Owner]

This was like two and a half

[Caller or Co-host]

years ago when she was pregnant.

[Host - Bert]

Oh, no.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, she was pregnant and nothing happened to the baby. She was only, like, two months pregnant,

[Host - Bert]

so she's already uncomfortable and she's not feeling great. Yeah. And here you go.

[Caller or Co-host]

And I bet she couldn't have the same medication as other people who break their arm because she was pregnant.

[Brad]

Yeah, she could.

[Caller or Co-host]

She didn't take anything.

[Host - Bert]

All she wore was a cast.

[Caller or Co-host]

Were you in the doghouse for, like, forever on that one?

[Brad]

Yeah, for like, a couple of weeks.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. That's one that. And she'll remember that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host - Bert]

All right, this is one. I think this would be our final record right here. You guys are going to be rocked by this one. Hey, John. Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Brad]

What's going on, Burcho?

[Host - Bert]

All right, man. So the number to beat right now, $3,000 worth of damage while having sex.

[Caller or Co-host]

That would be 10% of my total. You guys ever seen the movie Sinner?

No.

You guys don't recall that movie? It is after 8:30. I'll try to be ginger. But let's say I was driving the vehicle and the Mrs. Was in the passenger seat.

[Host - Bert]

Okay.

[Caller or Co-host]

Okay.

And this would be spring break down to Florida.

[Host - Bert]

Okay.

[Caller or Co-host]

Needless to say, got a little tied up in the situation. And the road turned. The vehicle did not turn. And totaled out my brand new truck that I had purchased at $42,000 into the woods.

[Host - Bert]

$42,000.

[Caller or Co-host]

It was chalked up to a possum crossing the road, me swerving and hitting the trees. Because we had plenty of time to reconcile our clothing before the officers proceeded

[Host - Bert]

to get off the scene. I bet you did. Yeah.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah. Insurance doesn't really pay for car treats.

[Host - Bert]

No, no, no.

[Caller or Co-host]

So you guys had to swerve.

[Brad]

Oh, yes.

[Caller or Co-host]

Just swerved him in spot.

That's all it was.

[Host - Bert]

I promise. $42,000. That can't be beat.

[Caller or Co-host]

It was a new truck. And needless to say, after that, I purchased an $8,000 vehicle.

[Host - Bert]

The bird show. The Birch show.

Hello, Chastity.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

Hey, Bert.

[Host - Bert]

How are you?

[Caller - Houston Listener]

I'm not doing well today.

[Host - Bert]

Oh, darling. What's up?

[Caller or Co-host]

What's up?

Okay.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

I.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

When I moved to Atlanta about nine years ago, and I. I first started listening to y' all when I first moved there. And so, you know, I was like,

[Caller or Co-host]

oh, this is a great show.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

And I've been listening to y' all the whole time.

[Brad]

I've called in before, we've talked, and

[Caller - Houston Listener]

right before Christmas, I moved back to Houston. So I'm in Houston now, and I need y' all to get on satellite so I can listen to y' all in the car in Houston.

[Caller or Co-host]

Oh, man, we miss you, too.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

I know. I'm just like, what am I gonna

[Host - Bert]

do without Burton and everyone in the morning? Well, we have A sister station down there that has a decent morning show. I think that Ryan and Rula are down there.

[Caller or Co-host]

What is it?

[Caller - Houston Listener]

Is it 104?

[Caller or Co-host]

Kbre?

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. Is it that one?

[Caller - Houston Listener]

Yeah. No, but I'm not feeling them like I feel.

[Host - Bert]

Y' all not working for you, huh?

[Caller or Co-host]

Give them a shot for now. Yeah, maybe. We'll be there.

[Host - Bert]

There's nothing we can do for you in the car yet.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

I know.

[Caller or Co-host]

That's the problem.

[Host - Bert]

Well, I think. I mean, it's blatantly obvious to me that you. You got to be in Atlanta.

[Caller or Co-host]

You got to move back.

[Host - Bert]

You got to move back. I mean, if you show some commitment here, don't ask us for things we can't deliver. Move back to Atlanta. Yeah, I know.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

I know. I just was like. And I can't listen at work. I can't because, you know, I can't listen online at work because I'm in

[Brad]

a dental office, so.

[Host - Bert]

So it's not even a job that is worth staying at in Houston, so you might as well come back here.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

Oh, I know, I know.

[Caller or Co-host]

Okay. But is that possible?

[Caller - Houston Listener]

I mean, ever y' all get on satellite so everyone can hear y'?

[Caller or Co-host]

All?

I don't know that.

[Host - Bert]

I mean, we haven't really started talking about satellite yet. We've been toying with the idea of syndication or there are companies that are toying with us about syndication, but.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

Yeah.

[Caller or Co-host]

Yeah, that. Yeah.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

Okay, let's do that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Whatever it is, just figure it out in Houston.

[Caller with voice disguiser]

Yeah.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

If you need me to come and present something in a board meeting or something like that, I can do that.

[Host - Bert]

Some PowerPoint presentation. You're on it, huh?

[Caller or Co-host]

Yes.

[Host - Bert]

Okay, well, if anything progresses, we will let you know.

[Caller - Houston Listener]

Okay. I'll be checking the website.

[Host - Bert]

All right, thank you. Okay, bye. Good morning. Is it Tanisha?

[Caller or Co-host]

Yes.

How are you?

[Caller with voice disguiser]

Good morning.

[Josh (Producer)]

How are you?

[Caller or Co-host]

Good morning.

Oh, good. I love you guys.

[Host - Bert]

Loving you, too. What's up?

[Caller or Co-host]

Well, I love Jeff also, and I'm missing. But this is just so freaky. I was thinking about this. Remember when y' all were doing the psychic predictions back last year? Was it not Jeff psychic that said somebody was going to be leaving the Burt Show?

[Host - Bert]

All right, well, let me just say one thing before we. We even address that, that we don't know that Jeff is leaving the Burke show yet.

[Caller or Co-host]

Well, I hope he's not. But I was just thinking about that prediction. I was thinking, oh, I hope not. I just remember the psychic prediction, and

his psychic was, like, freaky, too. She was getting some other things right, wasn't she?

[Host - Bert]

Too many other things. Right?

Yeah.

When we first started talking about Jeff and then the negotiations, excuse me. With the radio station not going well, we got a couple of emails from people saying the same thing, that his psychic was right on. So we looked for it, looked for the audio, and here it is. Because we all went out and we found psychics to make predictions for the year. Right. And this is what Jeff's psychic said.

[Psychic]

I don't know what your plans are, but you've got your own label for something. Now, I don't mean just something that you put on an envelope when you're sending your mail out.

[Caller or Co-host]

Okay.

[Psychic]

There's a label. You could have a label for something. There's something. A clothing label. I don't know. But they're just saying your own label is going to be in the works for you.

[Brad]

Okay.

[Psychic]

Your life's going to go to better things, Jeff, and you're going to have your own situation. Your own situation. There's something of your own coming.

[Brad]

Okay.

[Psychic]

This is really good. Your name will become strong.

[Host - Bert]

So is that it? Is that what everybody's talking about?

[Caller or Co-host]

I think so.

[Host - Bert]

Now, Josh gave me another clip here. Give me a second to actually enter it in that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Well, that would make sense, because, you know. Yeah. I think what she said would probably make sense.

Well, his name is out there now.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah, unfortunately it is. Yeah, unfortunately it is.

[Caller or Co-host]

And we do have to be clear that we don't know until Friday what's actually going to happen. We'll have an answer for everybody on Monday.

[Host - Bert]

Here's the. The other clip that Josh provided.

[Psychic]

Right. This is all coming up in the next three to four months for you, and this is all around you. The first thing is I'm going to go into your work because you have a lot of big changes that are coming in around your business and your work, where you're currently working. There is actually somebody going to be leaving very soon, and I'd say within the next six weeks. Somebody's departing your business, and it's somebody that you sort of see on a regular basis.

[Host - Bert]

That doesn't really indicate that it's him, though. It almost sounds like that.

[Caller or Co-host]

Sounds like it'd be somebody else.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. So, Wendy, are you going someplace that we don't know about?

[Caller or Co-host]

I don't think so.

And Melissa just lost her voice. She's not going anywhere. She's just not here today because she has no voice. But she'll be back tomorrow, we hope.

[Host - Bert]

Yeah. And as far as Jeff goes, I told you guys I wouldn't waste your time with a lot of non update updates. So we haven't talked about it this morning because there's really nothing to talk about. As soon as we know something, we will pass it on to you.

Hey, the bird show.