Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, March 18 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, March 18 [Vault]

Air Date: March 18, 2026
Episode Focus: Authentic laughs and real-life stories, featuring relationship milestones, awkward proposals, a Craigslist social experiment, and a spirited debate about which accidental “insult” is worse for women: being mistaken for a prostitute or being mistaken as pregnant.

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the Bert Show's signature blend of humor and candid real-life moments. Listeners are treated to behind-the-scenes celebrations, calls sharing awkward proposal stories, a live social experiment with Craigslist, and a lively debate about superficial judgments women contend with. The hosts' easy banter and audience participation create a show that's both relatable and hilarious.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. Lindell’s Engagement Story

[01:38 – 07:12]

• The show kicks off with Lindell announcing her surprise engagement.
• The hosts try to guess who among them had a major life event.
• Lindell recounts her boyfriend's adorable proposal, which involved:
  • Recreating their first date, including IHOP and watching “The Goonies.”
  • Hiding the ring on their cat’s collar for an endearing reveal.
• Lindell emphasizes the value of personalized and meaningful proposals over grand gestures.

Notable Quotes:

• “He basically last night took some memorable moments from the first two weeks and put them into last night. … So he took me to IHOP and we watched the movie.” – Lindell [03:26]
• “I think that everybody needs to get proposed to in a way that means something to them.” – Lindell [06:56]

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2. Awkward & Disappointing Proposal Stories from Listeners

[08:08 – 12:07]

• Listeners call in with their own awkward, anticlimactic, or even disappointing proposals.

• Stories include:

  • A proposal in the back seat of a car, with the future mother-in-law driving. [08:13]
  • A failed scavenger hunt leading to a “just try on the ring” moment before bed. [09:26]
  • A proposal immediately after sex: “I was proposed to naked after sex. So it's not even a story that I could tell anyone.” – Caller [10:40]

• The cast reacts with both empathy and laughter, highlighting how unpredictably real life can be.

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3. Craigslist Casual Encounters Experiment

[14:01 – 24:19]

• The show launches a live experiment: Wendy posts a provocative ad on Craigslist’s casual encounters to see how quickly she'll get replies.
• The cast reads and reacts to actual Craigslist ads, amazed and amused by the graphic and often bizarre submissions.
• Callers share their own Craigslist stories:
  • Wrong-number mix-ups leading to solicitation calls. [15:04]
  • A woman who met her boyfriend on Craigslist’s “Men Seeking Women” section (not as weird as it sounds). [20:34]
  • Pranks involving posting friends' numbers in personal ads.
• Wendy receives her first creepy Craigslist response after 13 minutes.
• Memorable Moment: Melissa crafts a haiku from a Craigslist ad, complete with poetic snaps.
  • “Where should I slap you? Like autumn leaves your pants fall. I don't know your name.” – Melissa [23:17]

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4. The “Staged Bar Wedding” Recap

[27:04 – 39:30]

• Trey revisits his “wedding” at a bar, a stunt born from his friend Joel setting an arbitrary wedding date for him.
• The “ceremony” included a wedding photographer, flowers, family, and even an ex-girlfriend’s dramatic objection.
• Discussion about the legitimacy (or lack thereof) of such ceremonies, the absence of a marriage license, and real feelings about the institution itself.
• Some listeners were entertained, while others (including a caller and the host’s own wife) were offended by how lightly the event treated marriage.

Notable Quotes:

• “Let me just walk you through because it was the greatest wedding of all time. We had it. It was completely set up in the bar…We released a pigeon. We had a trumpet volunteer. We had a poem that was ready.” – Trey [33:15]
• “This just laughs at our marriage. … It spits in the face of our marriage.” – Bird Show Host, relaying his wife’s reaction. [37:50]

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5. Debate: Which Is Worse — Mistaken for Pregnant or a Prostitute?

[42:16 – 49:57]

• A spirited, comical debate erupts: for women, which is more offensive—being mistaken as pregnant (when not) or as a prostitute?
• Opinions are split but passionate. Some argue “pregnant” is worse because it implies you look fat; others prefer that to looking “trashy.”
• The conversation includes call-ins, quips about different types of “working women,” and frank, open-ended reflection.

Notable Quotes:

• “I'd rather look trashy than be fat.” – Wendy [45:11]
• “Definitely pregnant. At least if you're a prostitute, somebody wants to be with you.” – Caller [48:25]
• “Yeah, call me a whore. Don’t tell me I got a baby bump.” – Joel [49:51]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | End |
|---------|-------|-----|
| Lindell’s Proposal | 01:38 | 07:12 |
| Listener Proposal Stories | 08:08 | 12:07 |
| Craigslist Experiment | 14:01 | 24:19 |
| Bar Wedding Recap | 27:04 | 39:30 |
| Pregnant vs. Prostitute Debate | 42:16 | 49:57 |

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Episode Tone & Style

The Bert Show’s signature mix of realness, self-deprecating humor, and playful razzing is on full display. The hosts seamlessly transition between celebrating genuine joy, empathizing with listener disappointments, and poking fun at everyday absurdities. Audience participation takes center stage, underscoring the show's interactive, community vibe.

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Memorable Moments

• Cat Engagement Reveal: Lindell discovers the ring on her cat’s collar. [04:26]
• Melissa’s Craigslist Haiku: Literary creativity meets online absurdity. [23:17]
• Bar Wedding Mayhem: An ex-girlfriend objects at the ceremony, family shows up in costume, and a pigeon is released. [31:12], [33:15]
• “Call me a whore…” Line: Both hilarious and brutally honest. [49:51]

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In Summary

This episode is packed with infectious energy, candid confessions, and memorable listener contributions, offering a humorous yet authentic experience. With stories that blur the lines between chaos and celebration, The Bert Show once again delivers a mix of laughter, empathy, and unfiltered conversation you won’t soon forget.

Transcript

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[Bird Show Host]

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[Trey]

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[Bird Show Host]

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[Trey]

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[Bird Show Host]

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[Bird Show Host]

Hey, the Bird Show. The life of one Bird show member drastically changed last night.

[Melissa]

Is she the one in that video?

[Bird Show Host]

She's not a birch on the area. I am this morning.

[Joel]

No, but I can tell what the news is by just the look on her face.

[Bird Show Host]

All right, I know what it is now. What happened? What happened?

[Jeff]

What are you talking about?

[Bird Show Host]

Tell us what happened drastically in your life?

[Jeff]

Nothing happened drastically last night in my life.

[Bird Show Host]

Wouldn't you? How about you, Wendy?

[Wendy]

No, not me. But now I can. I can kind of figure it out.

[Jeff]

I was like, man, who's.

[Lindell]

Who's.

[Jeff]

Huh?

[Bird Show Host]

Jen, was it you?

[Joel]

Not me.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, me. Jeff, was it you?

[Melissa]

No, I warmed up, but I think we all did that, so that doesn't

[Joel]

really have to be. We thawed out.

[Bird Show Host]

Lindell, why don't you go ahead, grab a mic, producer. Lindell, I already.

[Lindell]

I got a new piece of jewelry last night.

[Bird Show Host]

Yes, you did. Oh, yes, you did. Congratulations. Congratulations. Look at that ring.

[Melissa]

That's all you got?

[Jeff]

Congratulations.

[Lindell]

Yeah.

[Joel]

You cannot ever play poker, by the way.

[Lindell]

I'm not really good at it. I beat a lot of people.

[Joel]

No, you were standing over there. As soon as Bert said the tease, I looked at your face, and you were, like, glowing.

[Bird Show Host]

Congratulations. She plopped her hand on my desk this morning, and I plopped my hand on top of hers.

[Lindell]

He didn't even notice.

[Bird Show Host]

And I didn't even notice.

[Melissa]

I was gonna say, how did you.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

Let's see the ring.

[Joel]

It's beautiful.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

So how did he ask You.

[Lindell]

He did a really good job.

[Melissa]

Did you guys get drunk and he just spit it out?

[Lindell]

Oh, yeah. All the time. Mormons than us, right? No, he did a really good. Today is our three year anniversary and I kind of forgot. So last night.

[Bird Show Host]

Are you like the dude in this relationship and he's more like the chick? I'm just curious.

[Lindell]

Well, I don't think so. But normally we've never really made a big deal of anniversaries and celebrated them. So I remembered like towards the end of the evening, right before he asked, but totally forgot and had no idea what he was doing. But basically he counts the first time we kissed as like the beginning of us being like boyfriend and girlfriend.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Lindell]

So. Aw, that's cute. Anyways, we dated for she is the Duke. We dated for a couple of weeks beforehand. And he basically last night took like some memorable moments from like, and experiences, places we'd gone from or stuff we'd done from the first two weeks, I guess to like put him into last night. So I was supposed to make dinner and then he goes, no, let's go out. And I was like, well, I just brought all the groceries over to do this. And I was like, okay, fine, whatever. So he takes us to ihop, which is totally not like romantic setting. I was in like sweatpants, hoodie. Like, I'm not.

[Melissa]

Is it the one in Sandy Springs?

[Lindell]

Yes, it is.

[Melissa]

Cause that's a romantic one.

[Lindell]

It is so awesome. Definitely good vibe there.

[Bird Show Host]

And at this point you're totally and completely clueless.

[Lindell]

Oh yeah, I just saw IHOP. It's open. It's 10. We have to get dinner, whatever. So we do that and then we go back to his place and he just pops in a movie and he put it on. He has a projector. And so he angled it to like one of his rooms in his house has like vaulted kind of weird ceilings. So you can lay on the floor on a bed and like kind of look at the movie up on the ceiling. And he put in the Goonies, which I was like, oh, fun movie, whatever. Totally not thinking. But that was another romantic movie. It was the movie that we watched the night we kissed and the night we went to ihop. We just like the. Originally we sat there for hours and hours and hours and just talked. And so he took me to IHOP and we watched the movie. And I was not.

[Jeff]

He was recreating that.

[Lindell]

And I had no idea. I was like, oh, this is fun. And I was so tired because it was like midnight at this point and I work here at 5 o' clock in the morning?

[Melissa]

Our job sucks. Yeah, our job is not romantic.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

New.

[Lindell]

Not at all.

[Jeff]

No.

[Lindell]

But so we were watching the movie and he kept panicking and just getting up and, like, sitting back down and going. And I was just like, okay, whatever, I'll just stay here and watch the movie. And in the end, he went out of the room and came back in and he got. He has two cats and he brought one of them over and he's like, oh, you know, Jack wants to play with you. And I was like, I'm tired. And he's tired. He just wants to sit. So I patted his head for a little bit and didn't realize it, but he put the ring around Jack's collar. And so when I was patting him, then I was like, oh, my gosh. And he asked me, will you marry me? Of course I said yes.

[Bird Show Host]

So you realized it once.

[Wendy]

Okay, that was totally.

[Trey]

I gotta tell you, he is a

[Melissa]

brave man putting a ring on a cat. Because that cat could randomly decide that it wants to be under the porch or outside, and you could never see that ring again.

[Bird Show Host]

Seriously.

[Lindell]

He did, like, kind of lecture me before, like, the evening had started and was like, do not let the cats outside tonight. And I was, you know, wondering why. He goes, it's just really cold. Don't let him out. It's like, okay.

[Jeff]

But he remembered what you did the first night you kissed and recreated that. I mean, that deserves a ton of credit.

[Lindell]

I was like, I was totally oblivious. And I didn't think until it was almost midnight, but he kept looking over at the clock and I was like, oh, yeah, tomorrow's our anniversary. And we watched Goonies the night before. I was like, oh, that's kind of fun. Totally oblivious.

[Bird Show Host]

So at no point did you think, oh, my God, I think maybe a proposal's coming.

[Wendy]

Mm.

[Lindell]

Mm. Because I was in, like, sweatpants and

[Bird Show Host]

so it was GM door.

[Caller (Mary)]

Good job.

[Joel]

Romantic. It wasn't so cute.

[Lindell]

Now that's restaurant. It was just totally us. And it was perfect for, like, us.

[Melissa]

Now, you're a cool chick, so that's fine. But I guarantee you that there are women who are, to this day, pissed because their boyfriend proposed to them while they were in sweatpants or they didn't have their hair did, or they were like, their nails were all chipped or they were had a cold or something like that. To this day, he couldn't even wait till. He wouldn't even let me get dressed up. I mean, I knew we were only gonna ihop but he could at least told me to put on something nice.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah. Who's listening right now that will come on the voice disguiser and say, yeah, I'm really disappointed by the way I was proposed to. It was just the wrong timing wasn't the way I had anticipated being at all.

[Melissa]

I think the ones I'm specifically looking for, the people where. Where the guy should have somehow warned her,

[Trey]

prepared.

[Jeff]

Didn't we do a list before where one of the charming things or one of the real things about it is if you are not all dressed up when you get proposed to? I remember a long time ago, because we the do's and don'ts and don't do it in public. Don't do it in front of the family. But one of the things that I don't know, I vaguely remember it somehow being the fact that, you know, it's almost like this real, like, I love you for who you are kind of thing.

[Lindell]

I think that everybody needs to get proposed to in a way that, like, means something to them. Like, I'm not the kind of person that needs to go to the fancy restaurant and needs to have, like, the flowers and all that stuff. So if it's comfortable for you, do it that way. And if I had been the one that was taken to the fancy restaurant, I would have known something was up.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Melissa]

Every girl needs to listen to Lindell right now.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, I'm curious because I wonder if the question that guys are listening for right now is because for us, I think the ultimate proposal is a big one, but also one where you're completely surprised. To us, surprise is priority number one.

[Joel]

And I would say most women aren't surprised.

[Bird Show Host]

That's what I'm asking, like, as a. As a woman, is it more important to be surprised or have it perfect? Have it just bright and big and grand.

[Jeff]

I'd rather be surprised.

[Wendy]

Same here.

[Lindell]

Surprise is better. And honestly, if you're in a relationship to where you know that marriage is kind of on the horizon, you kind of know that he might ask you, but, like, the way he does it should be a surprise to you. Not to be where you're like, okay, we're at the store, and then he proposes at the store at the joy counter. That's just not.

[Jeff]

See, he. I'm more like Linda Ware. Symbolic and surprise.

[Joel]

Yes.

[Jeff]

And had both.

[Joel]

And had your boyfriend taken you out to a fancy dinner, you would have been completely tipped off.

[Lindell]

I was just dumb and just not paying attention.

[Melissa]

Perfect.

[Bird Show Host]

At all. Hey, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

Good morning. How are you doing?

[Jeff]

Good.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

I love your show. My proposal for my husband was pretty crappy. I mean, I love my husband. He's wonderful. And I love my mother in law, but she didn't want to get out of the car. She wanted to see him propose to me. I was interning at the public defender's office, and his plan was to get out of the car, you know, go in the middle of the courthouse, get down on one knee and propose to me. But the way that he ended up proposing to me was, you know, we're riding in the car and everything. After he picks me up, his mom's driving. I'm sitting in the back seat behind her.

[Melissa]

Oh, no.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

Talking to her. And then he turns around and says, by the way, will you marry me?

[Jeff]

Oh, no. He panicked.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

I was so upset. I mean, I love him so much, and I was happy that he proposed to me. But to this day, we've been married for three years and I still rag him about that.

[Caller (Mary)]

I told him he could do a

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

do over because we're supposed to renew our vows because his mom took over the wedding, too. She even tried to pick out my wedding dress.

[Melissa]

You know what? I could have told you that was coming. The day that if you, if you, if I knew you back then you told me how he proposed, I could tell you you'd have mother in law problems.

[Joel]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Bird Show Host]

Good morning. Amber here wants to be on the voice disguiser.

[Caller (Chris)]

Go ahead.

[Caller (Lisa)]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

Good morning.

[Caller (Lisa)]

Fiance actually proposed to me. Hardly at all. He had this one day that he had done this whole huge proposal day with like, the scavenger hunt and the romance and the fun and all of this. And at some point during the day, it fell apart. To this day, I don't know exactly why he decided he couldn't do it and just kind of like called the whole thing off. And, you know, by that point, I knew what he was doing. So for the next couple of days, I'm thinking, it's coming, it's coming. He's going to make up for it. He's going to do something just awesome. Well, it turns out instead, on a Tuesday, I was sitting on my couch with my hair in a towel watching tv, and I was in a really crappy mood and said, you know, I don't even want to watch this. I'm going to bed. And so he said, oh, hey, can you do me a favor before you go to bed? And I was like, what? And he said, can you just see if this fits? And pulls the Ring out. And I was like, really?

[Joel]

Oh, no.

[Bird Show Host]

Really? Is that the way it's gonna be done right now?

[Caller (Lisa)]

This is it. And that was my proposal.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah. Dude, you get one crack at this. One crack at it. Be careful with it. Good morning. Lisa. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller (Lisa)]

Hey there.

[Bird Show Host]

Hi. You're on the voice disguise.

[Caller (Lisa)]

Okay, good. I was proposed to naked after sex. So it's not even a story that I could tell anyone.

[Wendy]

What did you do in bed?

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, literally, you're laying there on the bed, and he says, hold on one second.

[Wendy]

You rolled over?

[Caller (Lisa)]

No, he got down on one knee. But I'm like, are you serious?

[Joel]

I can't talk to anyone.

[Caller (Lisa)]

We've been married for almost 10 years. But still, I'm like, I've never told anyone how we got engaged.

[Bird Show Host]

Understandable. You have to make up a story. Sucks. Congratulations to you.

[Trey]

Congratulations.

[Bird Show Host]

Congratulations.

[Melissa]

Lindell, have you set a date yet? I imagine it's next week sometime.

[Lindell]

No, we kind of are just, you know, it's kind of exciting. Just kind of like bask in the globe and it's fun telling people and seeing their reactions or hearing them. I had to call my parents last night because I didn't want them to find out this morning, like, at work. So they were half asleep and like, oh, yay, that's exciting. And good night. My dad thought it was a dream. He's like, did you really get engaged last night?

[Bird Show Host]

Lindell and her boyfriend are both Mormon. So is the ceremony or is the wedding different in the Mormon religion?

[Lindell]

It is in the sense that we would get married in one of the Latter Day Saint temples. And the people that can go inside the temple are those that are members of the church. So, like, if I invited y', all, you guys wouldn't be able to see me get married, but you'd be able to come party at the reception afterwards.

[Bird Show Host]

That's really all we want to do.

[Lindell]

Exactly.

[Melissa]

God bless.

[Bird Show Host]

I love the Mormon. Yeah. Really?

[Melissa]

That is the way to do it.

[Caller (Chris)]

Right there.

[Bird Show Host]

Go bring them young. Uh huh.

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[Bird Show Host]

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[Bird Show Host]

the official experiment on how creepy Craigslist can be officially started two minutes ago now, right?

[Wendy]

Yeah, it's posted, but nobody really wants to do me on Craigslist yet.

[Bird Show Host]

We're on the encounter section of Craigslist just to reset this real quick, and we wanted to see how long it would take Wendy to get a response from just one, one post. And the post says, the post says,

[Wendy]

I'm open to trying new things and I love dirty talk. So turn me on. Fetishes Freaky? Yes, please. I'm not picky on appearance. We'll leave work immediately. Please call phone number needs some asap.

[Bird Show Host]

So if you hear a cell phone ring anytime, we're talking right now, that's the first freaky creepy dude.

[Wendy]

And people are posting literally every two seconds. Yeah, my ad keeps going down and down.

[Jeff]

And you're mad because there's more competition. You're like, hey. I'm like, hey, come on, I need it right now. I will leave work. Will they leave work? No, I will leave work.

[Bird Show Host]

What are you gonna say, Jeff?

[Melissa]

I don't remember.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, Mary, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Mary)]

Hi.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey.

[Melissa]

You go now.

[Caller (Mary)]

So I was at work the other

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

day and my phone rang and I couldn't answer it, but it went to voicemail and it left me a Voicemail. So I checked it, and a guy left me a message, and he said, hi, my name is Tom. I'm a first timer. You can give me a call back at this number. I'm usually really good about. Like, if people have the wrong number, calling them back and seeing what they want. But the number that he called from was different from the number that he left. So me and my friend that I work with, we got on the computer and looked up the number that he had called from, and it was a hotel in Fayetteville.

[Bird Show Host]

Oh, really?

[Trey]

Hey.

[Melissa]

Okay, so I love you.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

He asked if my name was Lindsay and he had found my ad on Craigslist. And I said, no, my name's not Lindsay. This is Mary. I said, you know, what kind of ad was it? And he said, well, you know, it

[Caller (Mary)]

was an ad for Is this not Lindsay?

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

I was like, no, this is not Lindsay. So we went on Craigslist to, like, try and find this ad. And a couple people have called me since then, too. But people post the most disgusting things on that, like pictures and everything.

[Bird Show Host]

So somebody posted for you with your phone number, like, playing a joke on you?

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

I have no idea. I don't know if you dialed the wrong number or somebody put the wrong number. But, like, a couple of people have called me since then thinking that I am this Lindsay person, wanting to hook up with them in a hotel.

[Melissa]

It could be. You know what? It could be a situation with Wendy. Maybe there is a real Lindsey out there who thinks that no one likes her. Like, maybe she just typed the wrong number in the ad. Like, transpose the six or nine or something.

[Joel]

And I thought I had a beautifully written ad.

[Trey]

Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

This is the first time that I've ever been on Craigslist. Encounter section.

[Jeff]

Are you shocked? Yeah, I. I love watching Bird's facial expression as he's opening up these ads.

[Wendy]

Each one.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, I learned on the very first one not to open it if there's a picture.

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

I was greeted by, careful what you wish for. Ready?

[Melissa]

Craigslist 3D would be really interesting.

[Bird Show Host]

The first one. And these are. These are here in Atlanta. Let's do it this morning. That one's in Gwinnett, if you want. If you look for a little hookup action, Gwinnett's your place to be. Special feet. Lovin's in Atlanta. Married ladies. Do you like to watch

[Joel]

some pretty graphic stuff up there?

[Bird Show Host]

Looking to have fun with a vanilla kitty. What is that?

[Melissa]

Save that.

[Bird Show Host]

You guys know what that is?

[Joel]

I would imagine it's a white girl.

[Bird Show Host]

Casual sex. Yes.

[Melissa]

Goo goo up there to get a response.

[Bird Show Host]

Any bored housewives looking for daytime encounter?

[Will (IQ Bar)]

Yes.

[Bird Show Host]

Hump day humping.

[Joel]

Seriously?

[Bird Show Host]

Seriously.

[Joel]

That was their pitch line.

[Bird Show Host]

Hump day humping.

[Joel]

I am clever. Hey, Chalmers, they're like, I had an epiphany.

[Melissa]

Just so you know, while Bert reads these ads and you write on that board, it sounds like a mattress squeaking.

[Jeff]

Yeah, the squeaking is a little suggestive at the moment.

[Wendy]

We'll do it at work.

[Melissa]

That's cool. You can do that in, like, five minutes.

[Jeff]

We have advanced to sound effects on this show.

[Bird Show Host]

Seek savvy lady to meet at Johnny's Hideaway. Super bowl fun.

[Melissa]

Johnny's Hideaway.

[Bird Show Host]

That's right.

[Melissa]

For real?

[Bird Show Host]

That's what it says. Oh, you're nasty, dude.

[Melissa]

Read it.

[Bird Show Host]

I can't. What up, showdy?

[Melissa]

Yeah, I think. I think we should all. I think the next bird show challenge should be to use a Craigslist ad and write a haiku based on it. Oh, we'll bring the arts into filth.

[Jeff]

Well, that is how.

[Joel]

What's a haiku again?

[Melissa]

353 or 373?

[Jeff]

I can't remember. At least three.

[Caller (Mary)]

Seven.

[Joel]

I can't remember either. That's gonna bug me.

[Melissa]

Craigslist.

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

Why do you haunt me with your whippings? I must go.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, Chris, you're on Q100.

[Caller (Chris)]

Yeah, we actually did this to my. My friends married and we put an ad in Craigslist. It was men seeking men.

[Bird Show Host]

Oh, that's great.

[Wendy]

Funny.

[Caller (Chris)]

It was the weirdest.

[Caller (Lisa)]

Like.

[Caller (Chris)]

Well, we told everybody that he. We put his phone number like, his actual phone number and told him that he wanted to be treated badly and act like you're the cops when you call. And it was just horrible.

[Melissa]

That's actually funny, is to put somebody's real name and tell the. And say, look, I'm way into role playing, so no matter what, you are my middle school scout leader.

[Caller (Chris)]

That's exactly what we did. We were like, do not break character, because that turns me off.

[Bird Show Host]

And he got Marlon.

[Caller (Mary)]

No.

[Joel]

Did he have to change his phone number?

[Caller (Chris)]

No, he just stopped his phone.

[Melissa]

Well, that's great. Well, the good news is, like Wendy said, because they roll off, they're so fast. Because there's a lot of pervs in the world. Your post is only up there for half a day, and by then, you've been replaced by 300 other pervs.

[Bird Show Host]

We're nine minutes into that posting and not one phone call.

[Joel]

It's in another city, too. I keep saying that I'm surprised when we're looking on. Is.

[Melissa]

Is it a big city?

[Joel]

Yeah, it's a yes.

[Melissa]

You didn't post it in like, you

[Wendy]

know, I think I almost did it in a smaller town.

[Bird Show Host]

Ransom.

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

Good morning. You're on the bird show.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

Hey.

[Caller (Mary)]

Me and my boyfriend that I'm with right now, we actually met on Craigslist. But it wasn't that. The little nasty casual encounter part. He actually put up a posting and I respond to it and we just started talking and we've been together for a couple months and I think it's really weird, but it's actually crazy because I did my own research and the females are just as nasty.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

Yeah, they are.

[Joel]

Are they really?

[Caller (Mary)]

Yes, they really are. Like, you guys saw the male section. The female section is just as bad. Including pictures.

[Bird Show Host]

All right, before we move on and go to the women's section if you can, without us losing our license, what did he post on Craigslist that you even responded to?

[Caller (Mary)]

Well, it wasn't a nasty casual encounter. It was the men seeking women. And he just told a little bit about himself. He's laid back, working full time job, you know, just looking for a female to hang out with to get to know. And it was just really simple and really laid back. And I mean, his picture was cute. So I was like, well, you know, it couldn't hurt, you know, step out on faith. And the first time we met, we met in a public place. It wasn't anything. I mean, and we've been together for months now and he's actually pretty. Pretty great.

[Jeff]

Awesome.

[Bird Show Host]

So you were looking for something a little more superficial, but you actually found something a little deeper.

[Caller (Mary)]

No, actually I wasn't looking for anything superficial because that's the difference between casual encounters. Casual encounters, just people that just want to jump on, so to speak. And men seeking women. And women seeking men is more of the long term relationship ads.

[Bird Show Host]

Gotcha. Well, thank you for calling.

[Caller (Mary)]

Thank you.

[Bird Show Host]

Lesbian freaks looking to party. Black men only. That's in Stone Mountain.

[Joel]

Whoa.

[Wendy]

And that's recent?

[Bird Show Host]

Yep. Why'd you post it a while ago?

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, Wendy's.

[Wendy]

Like I posted the same thing yesterday.

[Melissa]

By the way, I've written a Craigslist haiku. It's 575.

[Joel]

575.

[Melissa]

So apologies too.

[Joel]

It's gonna drive me crazy.

[Melissa]

To Mrs. Cook, my advanced placement English teacher in high school.

[Joel]

Sorry, Mrs. Polls, I didn't remember either.

[Bird Show Host]

Do you want to relay your haiku? Yeah.

[Melissa]

Yes, please. You have your snapping fingers. Ready, everyone?

[Jeff]

Yes, we're right.

[Caller (Lisa)]

Wait, hold on.

[Jeff]

Let me warm them up. Okay, right again.

[Melissa]

Where should I slap you? Like autumn leaves your pants fall.

[Joel]

Dude, that was.

[Melissa]

I haven't finished it yet. Three lines. It's five, seven, five.

[Bird Show Host]

His vibe.

[Melissa]

Seriously?

[Bird Show Host]

He started again.

[Melissa]

No wonder you don't have any friends.

[Bird Show Host]

She's got special friends. Found out.

[Trey]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Listen to that whole conversation.

[Jeff]

I just laugh like, yeah. See?

[Bird Show Host]

Again, live.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Ding your bell.

[Melissa]

Where should I slap you? Like autumn leaves your pants fall. I don't know your name.

[Wendy]

Can we save that?

[Joel]

I know you're.

[Bird Show Host]

Yes, it's brilliant. Nobody's called. It's been 12 minutes.

[Wendy]

I am shocked.

[Bird Show Host]

Maybe Craigslist isn't as creepy as you guys thought it was.

[Wendy]

Maybe just no one's looking to have a little chance.

[Joel]

By the looks of those Atlanta postings, he is pretty creepy.

[Wendy]

Wait, please.

[Joel]

Home.

[Melissa]

Well, let's move on to more fun and find out why your wife hates you.

[Bird Show Host]

That's what you'll get if you answer it. You got to answer.

[Joel]

Go ahead.

[Bird Show Host]

We'll just listen on one side.

[Lindell]

Hello?

[Wendy]

Hi.

[Lindell]

Oh, yeah.

[Wendy]

Where are you at?

[Melissa]

Ask him to talk sexy.

[Bird Show Host]

Oh, he hung up.

[Will (IQ Bar)]

Why?

[Jeff]

I don't hear people in the background.

[Bird Show Host]

I was whispering. He couldn't have heard that. How long did it take? 13 minutes. Oh, did he sound creepy?

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

What'd he say?

[Wendy]

He's like, I'm responding to your ad. And then just sat there silently. And then I'm like, where are you? He was like, I'm in my car.

[Melissa]

Okay, you guys play commercial. I'm going to find Southside. Steve

[Bird Show Host]

the Bird Show.

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[Bird Show Host]

Well, look at him. I mean, he looks totally different as a married guy.

[Trey]

Glowing.

[Joel]

Hi, groom.

[Melissa]

Hello.

[Bird Show Host]

Hello.

[Wendy]

I like your ring.

[Trey]

Thank you.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, let's see that ring. Hey, there's no ring on your face.

[Trey]

It's white, clear gold. No, the. The ring actually broke, to be honest with you. Along with my phone.

[Bird Show Host]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. How does a, A. A ring break? What was it made out of?

[Trey]

It was made out of a material much like gold, but not gold, probably. So, no, it did actually break, but I was wearing it. You can see it in the pictures.

[Bird Show Host]

Let's go back here for just a second. Jen, why don't you tell the history here of rewind, rewind, rewind.

[Joel]

When did this first start? August.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Four years ago.

[Joel]

Well, Joel and Trey are in studio today. And Joel and Trey are good buddies. And Joel came to us and said, you know what? My friend Trey always says that this is the year I'm going to get married. This is the year I'm going to get married. And then he never did. Well, Trey's 35. So Joel said, you know what? I'm going to take care of this for you. I'm going to set your wedding date, and I'm sending out save the dates. So he did. He sent out save the dates for January 17th. And originally, the plan was for Trey to find a bride and get married in Las Vegas. Well, the Vegas thing didn't happen, but Trey got married over the weekend here in Atlanta.

[Bird Show Host]

And that's it right there at a bar.

[Joel]

Did I miss anything?

[Trey]

That pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.

[Bird Show Host]

Now, when we talked to you two weeks ago, you said, nah, probably not gonna happen here. Not really any strong candidates. And then two weeks later, you're married to a strong candidate.

[Trey]

Right, Right. I don't know. Last week I was like, I just had a pair. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. I said I was gonna do it. Let's do it. So I called Joel on Wednesday, I think of last week, said, Saturday night, we're gonna do this thing. So we did, and I got married.

[Joel]

Tell everybody about your bride.

[Trey]

My bride is. She's my age. She's 35, which is.

[Joel]

I was very excited about the age appropriateness.

[Bird Show Host]

Thank you.

[Trey]

And she's very willing to participate in the wedding we had Saturday, which was cool. So very laid back and just worked out. So I met her about a month and a half ago at my office. Manager at the fir. Bus was looking for an apartment, and she was getting rid of an apartment, and so that's how we ran into her.

[Joel]

And she didn't know about the radio thing, is what I heard.

[Trey]

She did not know about the radio thing.

[Bird Show Host]

That makes it more legit.

[Joel]

Yeah, that's kind of cool. And that she. Your office manager, Allison told me that she didn't believe you when you told her about the radio thing.

[Trey]

No, I don't.

[Joel]

She was like, no way.

[Trey]

Yeah, she. She was taken back, I think, a little bit about that. But, you know, that's just the way love works sometimes.

[Jeff]

So which came first, Talking about the radio thing or you're actually your actual proposal to her? You know what I mean? Like, I'm curious how she found out about this and what the steps were

[Trey]

in that she found out about the radio thing before the whole Will you marry me?

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Okay.

[Trey]

You know, so we have. We had gone out a couple of times, and, you know, of all the people, I guess is the one that I could go through with this with.

[Bird Show Host]

You could see yourself spending the rest of your next couple of months with her.

[Trey]

Let's take it week by week, day by day, hour by hour. We have a new president coming in. And let's Just focus on that right now.

[Wendy]

Are you guys living together?

[Trey]

We are not living together.

[Bird Show Host]

It's a marriage that you guys are not. It's not a marriage. You didn't get married this week.

[Trey]

I did get married. Did you see me get married?

[Joel]

I saw that. I mean, it was the real.

[Trey]

Thank you.

[Joel]

Ordained minister. Right?

[Bird Show Host]

It was a ceremony.

[Joel]

A ceremony. And your mom was there?

[Trey]

My mom was there, which was the best part. My mom. We were wearing, believe it or not, normal suits. Everybody looks normal.

[Joel]

Everybody looked great.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Yeah.

[Trey]

And then my mom shows up with her friend in a costume, which was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

[Joel]

Now, I mean, I will say that one of the moments for me that stood out the most was one of your ex girlfriends standing up in the midst of the ceremony and saying that she objected.

[Bird Show Host]

Oh, she did? Really?

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[Bird Show Host]

No, she didn't.

[Joel]

She jumped up. There was a bench where Trey's mom and his mom's friend were sitting so that they could have front row to the ceremony so they could see everything that was going on. Because it was a crowded bar, Kramer's. And so I happened to be standing next to Trey's ex girlfriend, and she jumped up on the bench and said that she objected.

[Bird Show Host]

Come on.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Had to grab her and pull her down off the bench.

[Bird Show Host]

Get out of here. Really? Was she hammered?

[Trey]

No, sober.

[Bird Show Host]

Totally sober.

[Trey]

It was funny.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

We laughed.

[Caller (Lisa)]

It was good.

[Trey]

Yeah, it was very fitting. So she was cool with it?

[Joel]

I don't know. Her friends were kind of consoling her, gently accusing her. Friends were petting her, going, you know, it's okay.

[Grammarly Announcer]

It's okay.

[Joel]

It's gonna be okay. I promise.

[Bird Show Host]

Why did she even go there if she was gonna be so broken up about it? Why did she even go? Someone forced her to go.

[Joel]

I'm sure she was just wondering if it was actually going to happen.

[Trey]

Yeah, I guess so. I thought she was kind of cool with it, but I don't know. That's pretty interesting. She did object. She was the only one that objected too.

[Bird Show Host]

That's more shocking than anything.

[Trey]

That's the most shocking part.

[Bird Show Host]

I'm surprised the bride didn't stand up and go, you know what? I don't really. No, I'm not going to be so right after the quote unquote, I'm having a tough time calling it a wedding. A, because it would happen at a bar. B, there's no marriage license.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Trey]

Bert, where are you? With love, For God's sakes, man.

[Bird Show Host]

The reality part of it, this is

[Trey]

what happened Let me just walk you through because it was the greatest wedding of all time. We had it. It was completely set up in the bar. We had the balloons and real flowers. It was a lot better than I thought it was going to turn out. Joel did a poem in the middle of the wedding ceremony.

[Joel]

Oh, he also played. Yeah, Was that a bugle?

[Trey]

Yeah, Basically, he played some kind of horn as the bride came down the somewhat. Aisle in the bar. It was just majestic, really. And I forgot where I was going with this, but it was. It was really cool, actually. I was really impressed and had a great time and my mom was there and we got a lot of pictures and it was a legit deal, really.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

I mean, yeah. We hired a wedding photographer. We had an ordained minister. We had. We. We released a pigeon. We had a trumpet. Voluntary. We had a poem that was ready.

[Trey]

Bird in the bar.

[Bird Show Host]

It had everything except a marriage license.

[Trey]

I think that's the way everybody should get married, actually, because we got married. We walked out the front door with everybody cheering, got in a limo that I didn't know was there, went around the block. It dropped us back off in the bar, and we came back inside and had the reception.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

It was as real as a wedding can be. In Kramer's and Buckhead, it was. I mean, everything was legit. I mean, honestly, though, what. What is a wedding? It's. It's a. An announcement of your union to another person in a public setting. It's a legal, legally blind, binding. Trey Humphries is married.

[Joel]

It is legal if you say it in public. How does that.

[Bird Show Host]

I know it's not.

[Trey]

What are you, a lawyer?

[Jeff]

Come on.

[Joel]

Come on, now.

[Trey]

The law team at the virtual.

[Bird Show Host]

I mean, you're going to break her up. I mean, if you guys break up in two days, there's no. Nothing's going to be, you know, divide it up.

[Joel]

You don't have to get an attorney.

[Trey]

Well, I hope not. If that happens, I hope I don't have to get an attorney.

[Bird Show Host]

Was this an agreement that she made with you? Was the proposal one of, hey, let's just do this Saturday night. If it doesn't work out, it's fine, you know, I mean, we're just gonna.

[Trey]

I mean, obviously there's an element of, you know, this is kind of off the wall and random. So, yeah, I would assume that that's going through her head.

[Wendy]

You didn't get down on bended knee to propose?

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah. How did you propose?

[Trey]

No, I just kind of asked. I didn't. It wasn't the. It Was kind of a last minute thing. So it wasn't the whole romantic thing. It was more of a convincing than an asking.

[Wendy]

I think you might need that in

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

the future too, considering. I mean, considering I met her on Saturday.

[Trey]

Nobody. Nobody knew her.

[Bird Show Host]

You met her for the first time on Saturday?

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

I met her when she was about to walk down the aisle.

[Bird Show Host]

What, so you didn't even. You weren't even sure he was getting married or not?

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Well, I mean, he told. I mean, he told me. This is what's going on. This is who I've been seeing yada, yada, yada for weeks. But I'd never met her.

[Bird Show Host]

What? Wendy.

[Wendy]

I mean, you're supposed to introduce her to the best friend.

[Trey]

Can't just, hey, Joel, the guy that put me up to this.

[Joel]

No, we can say her name, right? Is she okay with that?

[Trey]

Mm.

[Joel]

Stephanie.

[Trey]

Yeah.

[Joel]

Humphrey, she was beautiful. She's an absolutely beautiful woman. A beautiful bride. She had on a fantastic wedding gown. I was like, I couldn't believe she was wearing that at Kramer's. I'm like, that is way too nice of a dress to be in this place. And, I mean, she had the bouquet, the veil, the whole thing. Like, hair done, looked gorgeous.

[Bird Show Host]

Watch it work out for the rest of their lives.

[Joel]

That's what I told her.

[Bird Show Host]

It's like 50 of our audience right now is, like, divorced. And if this is the relationship right now that actually lasts forever, it's gonna make an ugly statement.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

You're gonna have a lot of people calling you to have their wedding staged on new Kramers.

[Wendy]

Well, they won't be arguing because they're not in the same house.

[Bird Show Host]

That's right. Do you even have her cell number? Yeah.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

Email?

[Caller (Mary)]

I am

[Wendy]

they super poke every now and then.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, Fred. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Chris)]

Hey, good morning. Yeah, I was just listening to that Trey story. And my wife and I met in October. We were married in December in a bar by the bartender who was an ordained minister from Internet church. And it's the best way to get married because I did the big fancy wedding the first time I got married, and that didn't work out too good. But quick fire at the bar. Best way to do it.

[Bird Show Host]

And you've been married for how long now?

[Caller (Chris)]

Over a year and a half right now.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay.

[Joel]

There you go.

[Bird Show Host]

Thank you, Trey.

[Wendy]

There is hope.

[Trey]

I got a year and a half to beat. Thanks, Fred.

[Bird Show Host]

Susan, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Mary)]

Hey, guys. First, I just wanted to say that I've been listening to you from the very beginning. And I love the show like everybody else, but. But. And forgive me, Trey, because I'm not, you know, normally like this, but this is the most ridiculous piece you guys have ever done.

[Bird Show Host]

Totally agree.

[Caller (Mary)]

And I have. I have never, ever, ever called in. First of all, marriage is something so special. It's so special. I just can't believe that you. Number one, you put it on the air. But number two, that Trey went out and did this.

[Caller (Lisa)]

I just.

[Caller (Mary)]

I just wanted to say I was just a little bit disappointed.

[Bird Show Host]

I didn't realize how offended my wife was at this whole thing until we were talking about it late last week.

[Jeff]

She's like.

[Bird Show Host]

I said, Melissa's absolutely right, because Melissa kind of went off on it last week also, and I didn't want to turn this thing into, like, any serious debate or, you know, serious political, you know, and my wife said the same thing. She's like, this is ridiculous. This just laughs at our marriage. It's.

[Caller (Lisa)]

It's.

[Bird Show Host]

It spits in the face of our marriage.

[Caller (Mary)]

Exactly.

[Bird Show Host]

And I thought, it's a radio segment. And she said, maybe to you, but to others that are listening, like, this is a serious thing. That is ridiculous.

[Trey]

It's just one way of doing it, you know? I mean, there's a million ways to do it.

[Caller (Mary)]

Well, Bart, let me just say that when. When you normally have Trey and his friend on. Most of the time, I turn it. But I did hear it a little bit this morning, and I did want to find out whether he did get married or not. So I did hang in.

[Bird Show Host]

So we gotcha.

[Caller (Mary)]

Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

So inevitably, we got you. Why isn't she on with us this morning? The beautiful blushing bride?

[Trey]

I don't think she's ready for radio yet. She's. She's kind of a. Although she went through the. The. The bar scene, I think it's gonna take her a little while to get on the radio, you know, so.

[Bird Show Host]

Think she's embarrassed by you?

[Trey]

Probably most people are. Or maybe my mom, since she was in the costume, which was awesome.

[Bird Show Host]

So are you guys. I mean, you're saying you're officially married, but I think in the eyes of Georgie, you're probably not. Are you. Are the two of you at least exclusively seeing each other?

[Trey]

We are seeing each other. We got married. I didn't get a license. I have not done that yet. It was a minister who declared the, you know, the ceremony, so, you know, kind of is what it is.

[Bird Show Host]

So you will see no other women, and she is going to see no other guy until this relationship either plays out or not.

[Trey]

Yeah, okay.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Ultimately.

[Wendy]

Sorry I had to sneeze.

[Caller (Mary)]

There it goes.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

Gay fulfilled an obligation. He was going to get married January 17, 2009.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay.

[Wedding Photographer/Minister]

He got married January 17, 2009.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay. So that's really is the bottom line. It was an obligation and it got done right.

[Trey]

Gotta do what he gotta do.

[Jeff]

And look at him.

[Bird Show Host]

He's glowing. Watch it last forever. Book deal, movie deal. Watch it absolutely last forever. All right, you guys, thanks for the update. Get it the Bird Show.

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[Bird Show Host]

this superficial debate is directed right towards women, right here. Let me tell you how I even got into it. I'm at the W. Buckhead, I think it was on Saturday night, and my group of fellows meet a group of girls and we all start hanging out and talking, right? And throughout the course of the night, one of the girls makes some kind of like side joke to another girl and all the girls in the groups had to respond to it because they knew what was going on and nobody else was. So one of the girls said, you know what that's about is that Melissa here one time was mistaken for a prostitute. Okay? Somebody propositioned her on the road, like they thought, I guess the way she dressed awesome or what have you, and thought that she was a prostitute full on, was confident and like offered her, you know, like, how much is this gonna be?

[Wendy]

Wow.

[Bird Show Host]

And she just, like, you guys, totally and completely offended by it. And another girl in the group says, well, I mean, it could be worse. It's not like she said you were pregnant or anything. So a 10 minute debate between five women starts to break out on which is more offensive to be mistaken as a prostitute or be mistaken for a pregnant woman if you are not pregnant. And it was one of these moments where I was sitting back going, is this really happening?

[Joel]

Are they really, Is this really a debate?

[Bird Show Host]

They might have been buzzed, but they were very passionate about it.

[Jeff]

I'm trying to think which is more offensive.

[Joel]

That is a more difficult question to answer than you might think.

[Bird Show Host]

I guess it is because they were going at it for 10 minutes before finally someone in the group said, okay, we gotta put an end to this. But there was no clear conclusion, really. None.

[Jeff]

Yeah, most women right now are going,

[Lindell]

um, I don't know.

[Joel]

Well, because. Well, let's, let's dive into it. Okay. So the offensive part about being, you know, solicited as prostitute obviously means that you look available for, you know, getting paid to do that for money. For money, yeah, to do that for money. So that means that you've either cheated.

[Jeff]

Let's just say you look cheap.

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

Too provocatively.

[Joel]

Yeah, Provocative.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah.

[Joel]

Trashy.

[Jeff]

Which is better to look cheap and trashy or to look fat.

[Bird Show Host]

That's really the bottom line right now.

[Jeff]

And women, what's the struggle here?

[Bird Show Host]

404. 7 4. White.

[Melissa]

Should we get Tracy's opinion?

[Jeff]

She is pregnant.

[Melissa]

That's what I mean.

[Joel]

But see, pregnant is a different kind of overweight because it's all in one place. So if you're mistaken for being pregnant, you have like a typical man's belly. Because men carry their weight in their belly. You know what I mean? Like, that's where men usually put their extra weight. And for women, it's usually like hips, booty, thighs. You know what I mean? But if you're a woman, you're mistaken for being pregnant. Then you're carrying your extra weight like a man.

[Bird Show Host]

And that. And it doesn't get any more offensive than that.

[Joel]

I don't know.

[Wendy]

I'll say it. I'd rather look trashy.

[Bird Show Host]

You'd rather look trashy?

[Wendy]

I'd rather look trashy than be fat. Because then you can.

[Bird Show Host]

Go ahead, say it. Be honest.

[Wendy]

Yeah, I'd rather look trashy.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

I don't know.

[Wendy]

I just don't want to.

[Joel]

I don't know.

[Caller (Mary)]

I don't know.

[Wendy]

Well, I don't know. That is the toughest decision to make.

[Jeff]

Well, do you think I'm a street prostitute or do you think I'm somebody that, you know, high quality.

[Bird Show Host]

You're not an escort, you're a prostitute.

[Jeff]

Okay, so I'm not an escort.

[Bird Show Host]

They didn't say escort, they said prostitute. And that's a different thing.

[Jeff]

Okay, Yeah.

[Melissa]

I mean, if you're an escort, what's

[Joel]

the difference between being an escort outside of a hotel in Buckhead or on ponce by that? Yeah.

[Jeff]

Am I Julia Roberts prostitute, or

[Bird Show Host]

am

[Joel]

I ponce and boulevard?

[Bird Show Host]

Okay, so Wendy is weighed in and she said

[Melissa]

the difference between a prostitute and an escort is a prostitute will work in a car. An escort, you have to pay him extra to do that.

[Bird Show Host]

One has a website. One has a website. And one doesn't.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Bird Show Host]

Escort will have a website. Good morning, Jennifer.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

Hey, how are you doing? Good.

[Bird Show Host]

We're attacking the important stuff today. Would you. What is more offensive?

[Caller (Mary)]

I think pregnant, because I've actually been walking down in Buckhead with jeans on, a sweatshirt and a couple over and offered me money.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

So you don't have to look horrid

[Caller (Mary)]

to have people offer you money.

[Melissa]

How much did you take?

[Caller (Mary)]

They couldn't afford this. No, I'm just joking.

[Bird Show Host]

So it is worse for you to be mistaken as pregnant?

[Caller (Mary)]

Pregnant. Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay. Thank you.

[Wendy]

For someone to call you A prostitute though. I mean, it could be a long night of drinking your eyeliners, running. I mean, anybody will pull you over if they're desperate in the middle of the night. So you be like, no, I mean,

[Bird Show Host]

but like in, in your own mind as a woman, you can justify them making the mistake by calling you a prostitute. But if they mistake you as pregnant, then fat is. Fat is.

[Wendy]

Yes, absolutely.

[Bird Show Host]

Is that what you're saying?

[Wendy]

In a roundabout way, yeah.

[Jeff]

My mom always said fat is. No, I'm just kidding.

[Joel]

You didn't finish that because you didn't want us to say that.

[Bird Show Host]

Don't say Kelsey. Is it worse to be mistaken as a prostitute or pregnant?

[Caller (Mary)]

It's definitely worse to be mistaken as pregnant. I would have to say I agree with the ladies that if someone mistakes you as a prostitute, then they're pretty much. You don't know what their idea of a prostitute is. You could be a high class prostitute, but if you're mistaken as pregnant, you're just mistaken as pregnant. You got a belly, you looking fat. I'd rather be mistaken as a prostitute.

[Jeff]

If you. Well, if you're mistaken, you say Pretty Woman or Hustle and Flow, depending on what they say, then I know if I'm offended or not Pretty Woman.

[Joel]

Then like, okay, you know, I think we appear some pretty woman.

[Melissa]

Okay, if we take one more pregnancy call, can we send an intern to make sure Tracy doesn't jump out a window?

[Bird Show Host]

But she is pregnant, so it's not

[Joel]

taken for being pregnant. She has a baby in there.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I know, but you're getting all these calls going. Yeah, I would much rather be a prostitute than be fat, pregnant looking Tracy.

[Jeff]

I mean women. Yeah. I'm sorry, but sometimes.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah. Is our website evolved enough to where we could actually make a poll, an online poll out of this?

[Melissa]

I'm not really sure. Do you need it this month?

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, Jennifer, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Mary)]

Hey, good morning.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

How are you?

[Bird Show Host]

Good. Which is more offensive to be mistaken as pregnant or a prostitute?

[Caller (Mary)]

Definitely pregnant. At least if you're a prostitute, somebody wants to be with you.

[Bird Show Host]

Oh, God damn.

[Wendy]

I didn't say that.

[Joel]

That didn't come out of my mouth. Oh, snap. Wow, that burn.

[Bird Show Host]

It's pretty clear cut here. Good morning, Melanie. You're on Q100.

[Joel]

Not much of a debate.

[Caller (Woman with courthouse proposal story)]

No.

[Caller (Mary)]

I would Rhett smether be told that I look pregnant than like a two dollar person going down the sidewalk?

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

That's much better to me than being

[Caller (Mary)]

told I look like a prostitute, but I don't have a belly. But if I had a belly, I would.

[Caller (Mary's friend)]

I would be more offended if somebody

[Caller (Mary)]

called me a prostitute.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay, okay.

[Jeff]

But I love that. But I love how she had to add that. She had to add I don't have a belly. But if I did.

[Joel]

But if I did.

[Bird Show Host]

Why would you do that to her, Jeff?

[Trey]

You don't.

[Melissa]

What am I doing? I didn't have any kind.

[Jeff]

She is pregnant.

[Lindell]

This is just mean. I'd rather be a prostitute than look

[Bird Show Host]

like Tracy and put it on him.

[Melissa]

Not.

[Bird Show Host]

Why are you pregnant if you did it?

[Joel]

I didn't do anything.

[Jeff]

That's not what we said.

[Bird Show Host]

It's not the same thing.

[Joel]

No, it's not the same thing.

[Bird Show Host]

It's totally different.

[Lindell]

Well, I'm pregnant and everybody would rather

[Bird Show Host]

look like a whore than look like me. Save that.

[Joel]

Completely different.

[Bird Show Host]

So are you all in agreement, Melissa? I don't think I heard a final definitive.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I don't want to be called fat. I'm a woman. It would be more offensive to me if somebody thought I was pregnant than somebody solicited me for sex.

[Joel]

Yeah, call me a whore. Don't tell me I got a baby bump.

[Wendy]

But whores come in different shapes and sizes. So I mean, everyone in here.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God. Are you a prostitute? And are you pregnant? Then I would just.

[Bird Show Host]

Then that's just bad. Yeah, you're on the Birch Show.

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Greenlight helps kids learn about money the way most of us never did by actually using it. It's a debit card and money app that teaches kids to earn, save and spend in real life, not just swipe and hope for the best. Learning happens naturally in the moment. Parents can set limits, see spending in real time, and guide better habits along the way all in one place without constant check ins or cash runs. Don't wait. Try Greenlight risk free [e-mail] TryGreenlight with

[Melissa]

its two juicy beef patties and three slices of melted cheese topped with tangy Big Arch sauce. The Big Arch is what happens when you start making. Making a McDonald's burger and never stop.

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The Big Arch, the most McDonald's McDonald's

[Melissa]

burger yet for a limited time.