Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, May 20 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, May 20 [Vault]

Episode Summary | May 20, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show crew—Bert, Jen, Wendy, and guests—keep up their signature candid, funny, and real talk about celebrity interviews, parenting dilemmas, relationship drama, and timely listener stories. The show’s segments are conversational, alternating between pop culture, parenting debates, and engaging calls from listeners sharing their real-life situations. Major themes include celebrity scrutiny, parenting choices, relationship honesty, and the practical timing of break-ups around the holidays.

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Key Segments & Insights

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1. Miley Cyrus Interview Reflections

• [01:25 – 02:43]

  • Bert missed the Miley Cyrus interview due to a family commitment involving his child attending Miley’s concert.
  • Jen and Wendy recap their impressions: Miley, though under the weather, remained gracious, personable, and down-to-earth.

• Notable Quote (Jen):

  "She was really gracious and totally cute and she was easy to talk to." — [02:30]

• Discussion covers the pressures Miley faces at age 17 as a global celebrity.

• Miley is careful with her words, mindful of scrutiny and sustaining her fanbase.

  • Quote (Bert):

    "At 17 years old, there has to be at some point where she just wants to check out, you know?" — [02:52]

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2. Highlights from the Miley Cyrus Interview

• [04:40 – 10:56]
  • Miley discusses how social media (Twitter) affected her and why she left:
    • Quote (Miley):

      "It was like late at night, and I couldn't fall asleep, and I was like, I'm really bored. So I just deleted it...cause I was like, I'm over it." — [05:17]

    • Miley observes oversharing online erases privacy by choice.
  • On "Party in the USA" and songwriting:
    • Miley confirms she did not write the hit, explaining her preference for songwriting as a diary when inspired, not for formulaic pop.
      • Quote (Miley):

        "I can't write songs like Party in the USA. I just don't know how. I have to have something happen to me and then write it." — [07:18]

    • Enjoys involvement in her creative projects, but practical constraints sometimes limit her.
  • On touring and family:
    • Relishes having her brother Trace (of Metro Station) on tour, no sibling rivalry due to different careers.
    • Family tries to stay together on the road for balance.
  • Tattoos and body image:
    • Open to tattoos in theory but scared of needles.
    • Relays her brother’s and mom’s tattoo choices and the underlying positive message about self-expression.
      • Quote (Miley):

        "It doesn't matter what color you are. It doesn't matter where you're from. And it doesn't matter if this is my body. This is what my body looks like." — [09:26]

    • Handling adulthood and responsibility amidst fame—a desire to balance fun and public scrutiny.

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3. Parenting Dilemma: Letting Kids Stay Up Late for Concerts

• [13:02 – 16:53]
  • Bert debates the age-old parental dilemma: is it okay to let his 7-year-old son stay out late on a school night for a special event?
    • Weighs memories and life experience against daily routine.
      • Quote (Bert):

        "Every now and then you just need a freaking break...he's going to be tired today, but at the end of the day, he's got his first concert memory..." — [14:01]

  • Listeners call in, mostly supporting the special occasion exception.
  • One teacher-caller urges parents to keep tired kids home the next day for the sake of classroom dynamics.

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4. Listener Call-In: "Good Parent, Bad Parent"

• [17:26 – 18:28]
  • The "good parent, bad parent" debate continues with various perspectives—the importance of balance, life experience, and responsibility for both parents and kids.

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5. Listener Dilemma: Relationship Honesty and Identity

• [20:57 – 31:14]
  • Val shares the ongoing story of claiming to be Jewish to impress her boyfriend and his family, now tangled in an escalating lie.
  • The Bert Show and callers dissect the issue: religious identity, honesty in relationships, cultural expectations.
    • Quote (Barry, caller):

      "How do you honestly think you can start a relationship with such dishonesty? Forget the religious piece of it, no matter what the dishonesty is." — [28:08]

  • Suggestions range from coming clean to inventing a convoluted family history; consensus trends toward facing the truth.

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6. ‘Tis the Season: Breakup Timing and "Turkey Drop"

• [36:16 – 47:27]
  • Discussion of "turkey drop" (Thanksgiving break-up) and the practical, often strategic timing of ending relationships before holiday obligations.
    • Quote (Bert):

      "You really gotta make a commitment this week. Like, if you're in, you're in for the next four weeks." — [37:59]

  • Listeners call in with stories about break-ups around the holidays—some comedic, some poignant.
    • Christmas morning, Valentine’s dinner, and post-Thanksgiving divorce are all recounted with humor and empathy.
  • One listener admits to prolonging a relationship for companionship over the holidays; the hosts dub the day “Breakup Day.”
    • Quote (Jen):

      "This is breakup day. You've got plenty of time to wrap up a new present under the tree..." — [45:59]

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Social Media Overload (Miley Cyrus, [05:30]):

  "I feel like everyone spends so much time on it ... do people really care if I'm doing that? And if they do, then I can't complain if I don't have a personal life..."

• On Family and Touring (Miley Cyrus, [08:03]):

  "The most fun part is having like a family member on the road...makes it feel more at home."

• On Parenting (Bert, [14:01]):

  "...he's going to be tired today, but at the end of the day, he's got his first concert memory, which to me, is way bigger..."

• On Relationship Lies (Caller Barry, [28:08]):

  "How do you honestly think that you can start a relationship with such dishonesty?...This is a huge component of a person."

• On Holiday Breakups (Bert, [37:59]):

  "You really gotta make a commitment this week. Like, if you're in, you're in for the next four weeks."

• On Cougar Dating (Caller, [44:52]):

  "I don't want to be alone for Christmas."
  Host banter:
  "His little footy PJ's out..." — [44:52]
  "At Christmas dinner, you can cut his meat." — [44:59]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | End | |--------------------------------------|----------|----------| | Miley Cyrus Interview Recap | 01:25 | 04:40 | | Miley Cyrus Actual Interview | 04:40 | 10:56 | | Parenting Dilemma: Concerts & Kids | 13:02 | 16:53 | | Good Parent, Bad Parent Discussion | 17:26 | 18:28 | | Relationship Honesty: Val’s Story | 20:57 | 31:14 | | Breakup Timing / Turkey Drop | 36:16 | 47:27 |

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the Bert Show’s familiar mix of humor, relatability, directness, and warmth. The hosts balance joking banter and genuine insight, earning both laughs and moments of reflection from each other and listeners. The show leans into authenticity—no topic is off limits, and listeners are encouraged to share and debate real-life situations.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

You'll get inside perspectives on fame from Miley, parenting gray-areas in the real world, and relationship truths—often hilariously candid. The episode is a blend of pop culture, real-life drama, and honest conversation, reflecting why the Bert Show is a morning staple for fans. The discussions are refreshingly honest and might just make you reevaluate your own takes on parenting, relationships, and adulthood.

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Transcript

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

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[Bert - Main Radio Host]

play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Bird Show Here was some irony here. I had to miss the interview with Miley Cyrus yesterday because my kid was going to see Miley Cyrus.

[Jen - Co-Host]

How did that happen?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So we were scheduled to have an interview with Miley at 2 o' clock and Stacy was taking Hayden, our 7 year old, down to the concert at like 4 or 5 o' clock with some other friends. We didn't have a babysitter lined up because I figure interview with Mylia too. Done no later by three, get home by 3:30. Hayden takes off. I got Hollis, no problem. We don't have a babysitter lined up. So Miley. Miley's folks wanted her to do the interview after the sound Check. So that was at 4:00'. Clock. So I couldn't make it because we didn't have a babysitter lined up. So I had to go home and watch holla so Hayden could go see Miley Cyrus.

[Jen - Co-Host]

And you already paid to park. So Bert was like, I paid 20 bucks not to interview Miley Cyrus.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

But Jen and Wendy did get to. So she's been in here now and we've talked to her before.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So what are your impressions still? She enjoying this still?

[Jen - Co-Host]

I think so. You know, I think she was a little bit under the weather yesterday. She said she's been kind of like all, all of us in here, like back and forth with colds and. And that kind of thing and hasn't been feeling well and on tour. So I think that her personality was a little bit more subdued because I just don't think she felt great. But she's really gracious and totally cute and she was easy to talk to.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Sweet. I like her a lot. I think she's so sweet.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

My thoughts going into it was this because I, you know, I spent some time on the computer the night before trying to figure out what to talk to. And at 17 year olds or 17 years old, there has to be at some point where she just wants to check out, you know, like everything she says now is under a microscope. She just had that stupid lawsuit that settled which was $3 billion on behalf

[Caller or Contributor]

of every Asian in Los Angeles.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Asian community. But you know how like it's a frivolous lawsuit but just how that it could just eat at you. Like really. I have to totally watch what I'm saying all the time at 17 years old. That's a lot to take on.

[Jen - Co-Host]

I did sort of get that sen that she's careful on the words that she uses. Has to be now, I think, I think with the gossip media and the paparazzi and anything that you say can be a headline two seconds later and that kind of thing. I think a lot of celebrities are on guard for that, especially somebody in Miley's position who has a lot of kids following her, a lot of young fans and that kind of thing. I think that she realizes how much scrutiny she's under and I think chooses her words carefully when talking about anything that could be seen as potentially controversial. Right. Would you say that?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Yeah, I definitely agree.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

It's so monumental to have to deal with that kind of pressure all the time at 17 years old. What you're wearing out, what you're saying, what you're texting or blogging all the time. So at one point, I wanted to ask her if it, like, gets her down sometimes, you know?

[Jen - Co-Host]

Yeah. I mean, I think. I think she would never admit it if it did, because then it would be a headline.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

It's turning on the fans. Right. You know, but she did open up to you guys a little bit.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yeah.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

We had a good time with her. I brought her something that made it really easy for.

[Caller or Contributor]

That was funny.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Easy for the door to be open, for her to answer anything. So she was pretty open and fun and. But, yeah, didn't feel well, but she was great.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Here's Miley Cyrus hanging out with Jen and Wendy yesterday before the show.

[Jen - Co-Host]

How are you? Good. Well, you've been our good luck charm because Falcons just won.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

I know. Falcons just won. We're watching it on the iPhone app. Like, literally, like a bunch of little kids. Refresh.

[Miley Cyrus]

Refresh, Refresh. That's awesome.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

So it's fun.

[Jen - Co-Host]

We were just talking about when you were here in the springtime.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Do you remember that our station was the ones that introduced you to Twitter?

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah, I do. We were just talking about. It was just like a day before. It was just like a day before I got it or something like that. I do remember that.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Yeah. And Wendy, you were the one who.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

We introduced you on Twitter with her.

[Miley Cyrus]

Right.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

You did talk about Twitter. So you got on it and then you got off of it.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

So what made you come to that decision? Was there, like, one set moment?

[Miley Cyrus]

No, I just. It was, like, late at night, and I couldn't fall asleep, and I was like, I'm really bored. So I just deleted it.

[Caller or Contributor]

Just.

[Miley Cyrus]

Cause I was like, I'm over it. Then I was like, I can't sleep. And I probably could sleep if I wasn't on this Internet thing. So I just turned it off.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Do you feel like you were spending way too much time on it?

[Miley Cyrus]

I feel like everyone spends so much time on it. I think people just need to get off because it's just like, I really don't. I was thinking. I was like, all right, I don't really care what anyone else is doing. Like, I go to Starbucks. I'm like, all right, congratulations. Right, Congrats. I'm like, so do people really care if I'm doing that? And if they do, then I can't complain if I don't have a personal life, because I'm the one that's telling people about my personal life.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Right.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Would you ever get back on it just for, like, family, friends?

[Miley Cyrus]

No, never. No.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

So it's Done deal.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah. All right.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

I need to ask you about this because I don't know if you were misquoted, but the Party in the USA song, Jay Z song.

[Miley Cyrus]

Have you really no Jay Z song?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Never.

[Miley Cyrus]

I've heard Empire State of Mind. I've heard that because my friends ringtone.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Okay.

[Miley Cyrus]

That's the only thing I've ever heard.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

All right, well, then we're gonna have a reason for you never not to hear a Jay Z song, because I got a cd. All right, so now you can put it in, and then you can hear a Jay Z song.

[Miley Cyrus]

I'm excited.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

So.

[Jen - Co-Host]

So what's the story behind it? That it was party in the USA was for your clothing line, right?

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah, Dr. Luke wrote it for my clothing line. And so I was kind of, you know, it was cool that it, like, went so well and, you know, for my clothes. And I was like, it's gonna be awesome, you know, to have something. It was kind of for the commercial and to be kind of a theme of, you know, what the clothing line is like. Cause we had lots of cool, like, flags and, you know, it was just cool. It just worked perfectly and thought it really, like, set off the campaign really well. And then people started catching onto it. So we were really stoked. And it was really cool to kind of, like, right after the climb, have a song that's so serious, to have something that's so fun and goes straight

[Jen - Co-Host]

to number one, too.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah, so we were stoked. And, you know, we worked really hard to get it there, and so we were really excited. It was my first number one, like, top 40, so I was excited.

[Jen - Co-Host]

That is incredible.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

And okay, so with the album going to number one from the climb, you talked about how you wanted to be known as a songwriter, but then somebody else wrote this song. So are you gonna be continuing to write your own music?

[Miley Cyrus]

I can't write songs like Party in the usa I just don't know how. I don't know how to write songs that, like, I have to have something happen to me and then write it. But I wrote almost my entire first record. I think I wrote like nine of the 11 tracks. And the one that I'm doing now, I've written every song. So, I mean, I'm pretty much. I pretty much write everything. But that one was quick. And I was shooting a movie, so there's really no time to write and record and produce and do all that thing. So after I was on set, I would just run to a studio and I recorded it really quickly.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Do you ever get any downtime? I mean, you're constantly on tour, you have a clothing line. Do you ever just have time for you to focus?

[Miley Cyrus]

I do, I make time, you know, and like, I think that's really important on days off, just enjoying the city that you're in. I think that's. You gotta take advantage of being on tour. Cause so many people don't. And it's so important to do that.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

And how cool is it to have your brother on tour with you?

[Miley Cyrus]

Awesome. It's so great hanging out with him. And I think that's the most fun part is having like a family member on the road. Cause it's, you know, makes it fun. It makes it feel like more at home instead of feeling like you're always moving around, you know, because you gotta have something that keeps you balanced.

[Jen - Co-Host]

So traces with Metro station. Your sisters are also performers, right? And actresses and everything. Is there any sibling rivalry with your careers?

[Miley Cyrus]

Not really. We're all so different because my brother, his music is like pop, techno, rock, you know, and it's similar style of music than mine, but he has like the band and those are all like his family and his friends. And then I have my thing going with my show and movie and you know, my sister's. We're all so different that it's not like we're ever competing for the same thing.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Now. Are you ever competing for your parents attention or anything like that?

[Miley Cyrus]

You know, we both like. It's hard because like my little sister's home with my dad and I've got my mom and then sometimes, you know, it's like switch. So it's hard like for your family, I think sometimes, especially the younger ones, they'll sometimes feel like, why is mom and dad's attention always on you? Is it because you're a performer? It's just like, no, just I can't go out on the road alone and you know, you can't. It's hard. But usually we try to bring the whole family on the road, which we've done.

[Jen - Co-Host]

That's pretty cool.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Does everybody get like their own bus?

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah, everyone's got their own bunk, so they're cool. Like it's all like close and that's awesome.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Very cool.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

And I was reading that your brother said he would get a tattoo with you. Are you open to getting a tattoo as soon as you turn 18?

[Miley Cyrus]

I want a tattoo, but really hate needles. I really hate pain. But I'm not against tattoos or like piercings or any of that because I'm Like, I love what my brother says during the concert. He looks everyone. He's like, it doesn't matter what color you are. It doesn't matter where you're from. And it doesn't matter if this is my body. This is what my body looks like. What's the difference of judging me for what I look like? It's just like judging someone for the color of their skin. It's the same thing. This is what my skin looks like. So I'm not against tattoos, but I'm kind of scared of needles. I don't even get shots or anything.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

You only have one more year to go.

[Miley Cyrus]

I made it, and the sound is really horrible. My mom just got wings across her back, and the sound was just, like, awful. I can't do that.

[Jen - Co-Host]

What would you guys get if you were gonna get one? And where would you put it?

[Miley Cyrus]

No, I would do something for my granddad that's kind of like what my. My dad. My brother's getting this weight Geronimo on his entire back. It's my dad's, like, favorite Indian, so he's doing an entire face on his entire back. So I would do something like that, like, for my dad or for my parents, but I don't know. We'll see. But I just really hate needles.

[Jen - Co-Host]

You've got a ways to go.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah, I don't. I'm not into it.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Until you can even.

[Miley Cyrus]

Scared.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Until you can even make that decision, you've gotta. That's true.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Are you ready to go out and, like, party?

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Like, 18?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Like, that's when the club's open.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah. I don't know. I'll have fun. I think it's like, I'm not gonna sit at home, but, you know, have fun and, you know, be responsible. I think that's the coolest thing. And then hopefully, like, paparazzi and everything chills out when I get home, and I'll be able to kind of hang out.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Cool.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Well, cool. Thanks for spending time with us.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

No problem.

[Miley Cyrus]

Thank you.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Appreciate it.

[Miley Cyrus]

Thank you so much.

[Jen - Co-Host]

And good luck tonight.

[Miley Cyrus]

Thank you. Thank you. And congrats on the game missing on Jay Z. Thank you. I will. I'll play my computer right now.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Awesome. Thank you.

[Miley Cyrus]

Cool.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hey, the bird show.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Okay. Can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's, no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight. Keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the WeGovi pill and the WeGovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you that's F O R h e r s.com Bert borhers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but Govi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions.

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[Bert - Main Radio Host]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Radio Host - Ad Read]

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[Bert - Main Radio Host]

The Bird show this is all based on the Miley Cyrus show last night. Okay, so we get tickets for Miley cyrus for our 7 year old and for about 15 seconds I debated should he go or should he not go. And my reasoning was this is that man today. I mean he's gotta be up at 6:45. His alarm goes off at 6:45 in the morning. He's gotta be at school at 8 o'.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Clock.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Okay so if he goes to Miley last night he doesn't get home and didn't get home till like 9:30. I didn't put him to bed last night till 10 o'. Clock. He's usually in bed at 8. And I know there are a whole bunch of people listening right now that went through the exact same thing. So the debate is this, do you let your kid go and be tired today or do you keep them fresh for the morning and do the responsible thing? I mean, they got school today, but

[Caller or Contributor]

didn't you do like a nap or something yesterday? Like, can't you.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah, no nap when you're seven years old. You crazy? Yeah, but if you do, man, there's Phineas and Ferb to watch.

[Caller or Contributor]

I'm plenty older than seven and if I know I'm gonna be up late, I take a nap.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, you know we can. But at seven years old, sometimes you put that head down. That is not gonna happen. So it wasn't even an option. So My question here, 404741Q100 is my reasoning was, look, every now and then you just need a freaking break. You just need a break. He's a good kid. He stays in line all the time. He's on this routine, he busts his butt in school. And yes, we kept him out late last night and we broke the routine. And yes, he's gonna be tired today, but at the end of the day, he's got his first concert memory, which to me is way bigger than, than being tired for the first couple hours of the day today or maybe even throughout the day. So that's the route we went. I know others are going to say, no way, you're teaching. You're sending the wrong message here.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

What message are you sending?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, you're sending a message that, I mean, you've got responsibilities the next day and you got to be fresh. Doesn't matter if you're 7 or you're 17 or you're 27 or whatever, get to sleep early, you got work to do in the morning. And in this case, for a seven year old, that's school.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah, my thing is, the message is, look, if you want to do something, you still have to get things done the next day. So he still will get his responsibilities done today, but he'll feel tired. You'll see that's the balance. You know what, you want to do it, then you still got to get your stuff done. But you see what the sacrifice is.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So there's the lesson. You can go, but you're going to be tired throughout the day. I think we've all done that. Thursday Nights into Friday morning quite a bit.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Agreed.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hey, Samantha. Good morning. Good parent, bad parent. Let your kids go to Miley and stay out late last night.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I think it was a good decision because, you know, it's one thing when you see like that little kid sitting next to you in the movie theater and you want to punch them. When it's like a late night showing, the movie's going to be there for long time. This is Miley Cyrus. This is like probably a monumental thing in his little seven year old life. And you were the cool parent and he let him go.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

And at one point. Don't we all break off into that conversation when you're adults? What was your first concert? Yeah. And we all sort of laugh about it. His is going to be Miley Cyrus. Which is cool now, but in 20 years he's going to laugh at that.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Yeah.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

He's going to talk about the next concert he goes to as being his first.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Right.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Good morning, Theresa. Good parent, bad parent. If you let your kids stay up late for Miley last night, I wouldn't

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

necessarily say you're a bad parent. I think you're a good parent. Because she went and she's excited. She got up fine this morning. So.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah, that's good.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

We did good.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

That 7 year old adrenaline rush can last all through school when you've got bragging rights to Miley Cyrus Last.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Exactly.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You went to the show last night.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Yes, we did. Thanks to you guys.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You got tickets from us.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

She had a blast. I just want you to know. And everybody was so nice. Her and Brandon got along pretty good.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Brandon's in our promotions department. He was having so much fun with all the kids yesterday out there at the show outside. It was a blast cue.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

And Wendy was very, very sweet. We love you to death.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Thank you.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

I think another a motivator too, for a kid to get up and have that adrenaline rush. At least what worked for us was the concert tee. You know, if you got him a concert T shirt at this concert, they're up early to put that T shirt on and to take it to school. Yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Nobody calling up to say, you know what? Bad parent. If you let your kids go last night. Cause my dad would have been old school about this, man.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Oh, really?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Oh, yeah. My dad would have never allowed that.

[Caller or Contributor]

Now if you were, I don't think my parents would have E. Did you hear about the guy who left his kid in the car while he went into the strip club? What? That would be bad parent. The guy wanted to go grab a drink. And last call. The latest last call was at a strip club. So he left his kid in the car.

[Jen - Co-Host]

You're kidding.

[Caller or Contributor]

And somebody. I think if.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Well, take the strip club out of it. You're taking your kid around to get last call, right? Anywhere.

[Caller or Contributor]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

It's gonna be a slam dunk call. She'll probably. Bad parent. Hey, Melissa. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Good morning. I'm the teacher that has to deal with your 7 and 8 year old after the concert the next morning. And I think it's absolutely fine that they get their life experiences. Just keep them home the next day. Because you say, you know, he's going to learn that he has to tough through the day when he's tired at 7, he's not learning that the teachers are dealing with it. They're the ones that have to like, you know, he's the one with his head on the table or kind of grouching to the other kids for no reason and he can't figure it out. Just keep him at home the next day.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Great experience. So as a teacher, you're saying sacrifice the entire day of education. If you're going to keep them out

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

late that night, he's going to be educated if he's tired. And he's probably going to distract the other kids.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Okay, see, that's where I would say bad parent. Like, if you keep your kid out of school the next day, to me, that would be the line.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

If he's not learning the next day and he's keeping other kids from learning, let him sleep in and call it a life experience. And tell him once in a while it's great to skip work. It's a life work balance.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Oh, no.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Wow.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

I'm gonna try that on Bert sometime this week. I'm gonna go out this week and I'm gonna call Bert. I'm gonna say, honey, life experience three

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

times a year when you're not actually sick to go do something, or no way.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

That doesn't fly in the real world.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Right there.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

I'm sure Bart would love for me to call hey.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Because it lines up on your Facebook now.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

All right, now let's move on to a topic I like to call a good teacher or bad teacher.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Get it?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

The bird show.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's, no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10, 000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy Pill and the Wegovy Pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you that's F O-R-H-E R S.com Bert forhers.com Bert weigh less by hers is not available in all 50 states, which is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s To get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borhearst.com Whether it's slots or

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[Bert - Main Radio Host]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Visit your nearby Lowe's.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You're on the Birch Show. Here is Val. She is back. Okay, Val was she was in the hot seat going into the weekend because she had two lies that she had to deal with. She's been lying to her boyfriend now because she initially met this guy. He's really hot and she met him at some like a Jewish gathering and she's like, yeah, I'm Jewish.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah, you're hot.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I'm Jewish. And the relationship ends up developing and she never comes clean with him. So he gets on the phone with his mom and he's like, mom, you're gonna be so happy. I'm dating a nice Jewish girl and I'm bringing her home for Thanksgiving. And Val here had. She didn't know anything about Judaism at all.

[Caller or Contributor]

Zero.

[Jen - Co-Host]

You have to do your mother's Jewish voice.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Myra. Shalom. Val, you're on the air.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Hi, how are you doing?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Good, how are you?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I'm hanging in there.

[Miley Cyrus]

Oh, no.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

All right, please, please, please. You only had one way out of this whole thing, I think, and that was to say that, look, I am Jewish, but I'm just not practicing, so I really don't know much about the religion.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Yeah, I didn't come clean. I didn't, I didn't. But there was no chance for me to do it, you know, it was just one of those things. It was so, so crazy. It was so chaotic there.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Wow.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I thought you were gonna come clean to your boyfriend first.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Well, I was, and then we had to go out of town to go to his parents house and there was just so much going on with that.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Sure. No time in the car to talk or on the plane or anything like that.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I know. This is. I'm so. I just feel so guilty because I haven't come clean to him especially.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

This goes along with being Jewish. You got that Jewish guilt thing happening.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

It's the first step.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You are Jewish.

[Jen - Co-Host]

It's her Catholic guilt about not being Jewish.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

So what happens when you get up there?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Well, it was really amazing because, I mean, my family. My family never is. Has been this close. And there was like, I mean, I'm telling you, between 40 to 50 people there at Thanksgiving.

[Caller or Contributor]

Huge.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

And they even had like tables set up in the garage with like heaters to keep everybody warm. You know, it's like included. Included everybody, you know, which was really cool. And his entire Jewish family, it was just. Just a great family, you know, I

[Caller or Contributor]

mean, just the fact everybody from temple.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Well, like 15 people, 15 family members, aside from like, you know, the immediate family, like stayed at the house the whole time. It was really cool.

[Caller or Contributor]

So how.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I mean, inevitably, religion must have come up.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

You know, the only. I mean, it definitely did at certain times, but it was so busy. And I just kept myself, you know, busy doing things to help out, which was great because then I could just kind of hide and. But I really hit it off with one of my boyfriend's cousin's girlfriends, if that makes any sense. She's really cool. And I did. I told her that I admitted to her because I just couldn't stand it anymore. And she just made me feel like, you know, she made me feel so much better about it. Because what she said was everybody in the family pretty much isn't really. It's more, you know, cultural versus, you know, they're really active in their faith, and it's more so just my boyfriend's mother. That's like everybody kind of puts a good face on for. If that makes any sense.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Okay.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Okay.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

But it's still your boyfriend's mom.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

That's the hardcore G. Which doesn't help me out much. Right.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

That'll be a problem in the future.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

How close is the cousin to your boyfriend? Because my fear here is that the girlfriend says something to the cousin and the cousin calls your brother, and then it's a mess.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Close Jewish family doesn't spread gossip or anything.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Right?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I mean, I know that's exactly. I thought that, like, late last night, it was like one of those things you, like, wake up in the middle of the night. Oh, my gosh. Because she totally could. You know, I don't. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that's like. That's one of the things, I guess.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Anyway, is there any way you guys think he would see it as charming? Like, if the cousin. If the cousin does tell him and

[Caller or Contributor]

says, oh, she's so sweet to do

[Jen - Co-Host]

through that for me. Sweet or whatever. Like, this girl loves you so much that she's just been kind of going along with the Jewish thing because she wanted to impress you, and now she doesn't know how to get out of it.

[Caller or Contributor]

If he still likes her, then yes. If he's over her, that's his get out patch.

[Jen - Co-Host]

That's his get out.

[Caller or Contributor]

That's his escape hatch.

[Jen - Co-Host]

But if he's in love with her, he'll be like, uh huh.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

And it also depends how much of a Mamba's boy he is. Mm. And how influential she is to him.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Is he a mama's boy?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Not really. Only. Only when he's around her. It's like if he's talking to her. I don't know if that makes any sense. It's not like he is unable to do things for himself. And he needs his mom for, like, you know, laundry and food and stuff. You know, it's. It's more, I guess, when they're talking on the phone. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

[Caller or Contributor]

But.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So when she. When she meets you for the very first time, or she met you for the first time, she Never brought it up. She didn't hug you and go, oh, nice Jewish girl or anything like that? It was just a very formal.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Oh, no, she totally did. She was, you know, just saying, like, welcome to the family. You know, all these. She's so sweet and so nice. And that's. See, that's the worst part about it. Like, I guess the good news is I got away with it, but the bad news is I got away with it.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, here's the offense, though. She brings up the Jewish thing, and you lied right to her and you didn't use any of your outs. Then. Then it could be a big problem.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Yeah, well, I didn't say anything, but I didn't not say I didn't tell the truth. You know what I mean? Like, was there.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Was there a situation going on? What Bert said? Like, was there a situation which she may. Like a specific something she said that you just let slide, not to me

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

directly, but to other people while I was there. And I just kind of, like, you know, nodded my head, like, okay, and didn't really say anything either way.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Like, what was it? What'd she say?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

You know, she was just, like, asking me questions about, like. Well, they were saying stuff about, like, Bat mitzvah. And like, I. Apparently it wasn't normal to have a bat mitzvah when she was younger. Apparently other women had, like, since, like, older women had later on in their lives, if that makes any sense. And they were talking about their bat mitzvah and the insecurity.

[Caller or Contributor]

Did you have an ice Bat Mitzvah?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I just nodded like I did.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You must have been just like. You know how you. Like when you're in a line, you just start getting hot in the chair?

[Caller or Contributor]

Please don't ask me.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I gotta get out of here.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

My butt goes numb.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Like, I gotta use the ladies room. Excuse me.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

She's in that bathroom a lot. She's like, every time we bring up Judaism. Good morning, Barry. You're on Q100.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Good morning. I have a question. Val, how old are you? I'm 27. Okay. I have so many things to say. But just to sum it up. No, I'll just. How do you honestly think that you can start a relationship with such dishonesty? Forget the religious piece of it, no matter what the dishonesty is. I mean, I'm sitting here as a mother of two, married for 12 years, and you have to be able to trust your spouse all the time.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, here's how it. Barry, let's give her a little bit of a break. Because this has happened before where you're so. You're so enamored with the other person.

[Caller or Contributor]

She's exhausted at the thought of giving her a break. You said, barry, let's give her a break. And she goes, oh God, this is no break.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Mondays are breaking. You're saying anything you can just to get in good. And then before you know it, the relationship starts snowballing and it's bigger than you initially thought and you're caught up in the lie.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Right. But how does this girl not have like the biggest stomachache every time she's. I mean, honestly thinking about this is a huge lie. This is not just, yeah, I like to play tennis, but I really can't. You know, this is a. This is cultural. This is a huge componen of a person.

[Caller or Contributor]

Well, if you have a stomach ache, my parents used to give me just matzah crackers, plain, nothing on them, and it makes you feel better. True story.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hey, Karen, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Hey, so I was just listening in and in no way can this be considered charming. She lied to her now boyfriend, who then in turn lied to his mother. And now. And then, of course, because she didn't face it, now her whole relationship with the mother is based upon a lie.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah, this is gonna be a tough one to get out of. No doubt, no doubt. Now Judy here has a way maybe that you could pull this off. Hey, Judy.

[Caller or Contributor]

Hey, Bert.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I love you guys. Number one, let me tell you. Thank you, Valerie. I have an easy out. You could probably lie starting by saying, you know what? I thought I was Jewish, you know, you know, past family tree, I thought

[Caller or Contributor]

I had about Mitchell.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Let her finish, let her finish. Go ahead.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Like say, say, you know, how people look on their background. Like, you know, my family tree, I had Indian, I had whatever, so and so in me. And then now she could go look and see if she does, and then say, you know what? You know, they used to tell me I did have, you know, Jewish family in my family, my family history, and you know, found out that I didn't.

[Caller or Contributor]

So she said she had a Bat Mitzvah. What does that all of a sudden become a 13th birthday party?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

No, but she can at least, you know, say, you know, they brought me up knowing that I was Jewish and then, you know, found out later, researching that she wasn't, or somebody married in her family down the line still have that belief.

[Caller or Contributor]

I thought I had a Bat Mitzvah, but it turned out it was just an Easter party.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah, the lie on Top of the lie thing. I think you just gotta. You gotta rip this band aid off.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Thanks, Judy.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Okay. Thanks, Eli.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Maybe my cousin. By the way, for you.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Puerto Rico. Judy was Puerto Rico.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Right, Right.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

It's easy to do that when you hang up on them.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, that was so clear. Okay, go ahead.

[Jen - Co-Host]

I was saying, you know, maybe you won't have to do the confession. Maybe the cousin will do it for you.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

But that's worse, isn't it? Yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You find out through the cousin, the

[Caller or Contributor]

cousin's in on it. Like, the cousin's in the same similar situation.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Val, at some point you're gonna have to bring this up. If you guys get. I mean, this is. You're in a relationship now for over six months.

[Caller or Contributor]

How long does it take to convert?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

It's the wedding.

[Caller or Contributor]

Like, seriously, can you convert quickly? Like, fast tracking?

[Wendy - Co-Host]

What do you want to do?

[Jen - Co-Host]

Yeah, would you convert?

[Caller or Contributor]

How much you like this guy?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I like them. I would convert. I would. I don't know how long. That I have no idea.

[Caller or Contributor]

I think you can do an online course and have it done in, like, two weeks. Yeah, I became a minister in 15 minutes.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Rosetta Stone, dude. Good morning, Alex. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yeah, I was going to say, like, honestly, if I was her, I just. I wouldn't say anything. I would, like, go on Wikipedia and read up on it and just not say anything about me not being Jewish. Not, like, bring it up.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Wikipedia has everything, right?

[Caller or Contributor]

Everything, Judaism, everything you need, founded by Lady Gaga.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

There's got to be some kind of website where you can look. But the truth is, you need to stop lying about this and you need to do it eventually someday. So why not now?

[Jen - Co-Host]

Were you raised in any religion, any

[Caller or Contributor]

denomination, or with any morals?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Oh, yeah, I was. Racist morals. I was. It's just I'm. We kind of dabbled in Christianity, I guess. Like, it was more like Christmas and Easter crowd to make my grandma happy, pretty much.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Well, here. Here's a. Here's further to that question. If you decided that you were gonna fake it and fake the Jew thing, and you went to your parents and

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

said, look, the Jew thing, like, shake your Jew thing.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Can you help me with this? And they. If. Would they be offended or not offended?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I don't know.

[Jen - Co-Host]

I mean, I think that you could just talk about that you didn't come from any sort of strong religious background, but that you've always been interested in Judaism and that's why you said yes at the beginning, but that you'd like to learn more with him and communicate with him.

[Caller or Contributor]

Nodded her way through a bachelor's.

I think, you know what?

[Wendy - Co-Host]

You were hot.

[Jen - Co-Host]

And.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah, I think that if you're gonna. If you're gonna come clean, come clean. Honestly. Look, you were. I was so attracted to you that I wanted to be with you. And this is what you know, that's why I said it. But I. The reason I asked earlier about his relationship with his mom is because if he is under so much pressure to marry a Jewish girl, it could be a deal breaker.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, she didn't say that he was under pressure. She was just relieved that he was finally dating a Jew.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

But I. Yeah, a technical question. I. Yeah, I think that mama and baby boy are closer than she thinks.

[Caller or Contributor]

Bert, a Christian would go to hell for telling a lie of this magnitude. Yet Jews don't believe in hell.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Ain't that nice?

[Caller or Contributor]

So where do you think she will go for portraying this mistruth about.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

There's just different levels of heaven in Judaism. So it's all good, man.

[Caller or Contributor]

So she's gonna come.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You're gonna go to a place called All Good.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Does she confess her sins? Do you confess your sins in Judaism?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You're asking the wrong person, man.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Oh, yeah, I shouldn't ask you at all.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

We could ask her on the phone. She'd know more than you.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

She's the one that got lots of misfit. Yeah, listen, it's the vert show.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wobi pill and the Wobi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit4hers.com Bert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert borhers.com Bird waitlist by hers is not available in all 50 states, but Gobi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A S to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borheart.com youm know what?

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[Bert - Main Radio Host]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Visit your nearby Lowe's

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

this is the Bird show. So if you're in a relationship right now. I read an article this morning that makes total sense to me and I don't mean to freak you out but tis the season. Okay. For breaking up. This is it right here. This is the week actually.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Why this week?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Well, think about it. You got Christmas right around the corner here and your window of breaking up close to Christmas. You really have to ask yourself look, you probably have this week to the end. What the seventh? Because even the 15th is too close to Christmas to break up.

[Jen - Co-Host]

I thought already you're in the no breakup zone because I would have thought that has to happen before Thanksgiving.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I would think so. But I do think you have a small window here. Like if you just can't take it anymore, this would be the week to get out.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Well there was a. I mean that bad. I had never heard it before but the term turkey drop. Have you that that was this weekend.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah.

[Caller or Contributor]

The turkey drop is when you break

[Wendy - Co-Host]

up with people on on Thanksgiving weekend to get out of the holiday.

[Caller or Contributor]

That's awesome.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Obligations.

[Jen - Co-Host]

So you would like turkey drop on Wednesday and then you can do whatever you want on Thursday and just and

[Wendy - Co-Host]

the rest of the holiday like your time to break up was this past weekend.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Now I still think that if you didn't break up this Weekend going into Thanksgiving, you did your time. I still think that this week is the only week that you have through New Year's.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

This is it.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Well, and some say even if it. Extend it through Valentine's, I mean, like, you know, the whole idea of breaking up is the holiday season really goes into Valentine's Day.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

But you got time in between New Year's and Valentine's. That's a lot of weeks. That's what, six weeks in between that.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could.

[Jen - Co-Host]

So you could do it. But you're right between now Christmas to New Year's, you're sticking it through the New Year's kiss.

[Caller or Contributor]

This is it.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So you really gotta make a commitment this week. Like, if you're in, you're in for the next four weeks. Plus, you're in on a relationship where you're gonna spend money.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Cause think about this.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You really have to, like, put on an Academy Award for the next month.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah. Cause I mean. Cause Valentine's Day be a little touchy. Because if you were with somebody and you got them a nice Christmas gift and you had a really romantic New Year's, then, I mean, you really. You do feel kind of obligated through Valentine's.

[Jen - Co-Host]

If you're teetering to jump off the diving board, though, I think you gotta do it now. Yeah.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Today's the, what, 30th?

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yep.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yep.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Today's the 30th.

[Caller or Contributor]

So you start the month fresh.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Tomorrow is the first.

[Miley Cyrus]

Yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Just rip it off like a band aid.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Fourth on Friday.

[Jen - Co-Host]

I see.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

You have until Friday or even through the weekend.

[Caller or Contributor]

But come Monday, 4th is exactly three weeks until Christmas. That seems too close,

[Wendy - Co-Host]

I think, today. Because it's still November, even though I think it's got to be today. You know what I mean?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Like, three weeks before Christmas and two weeks before Christmas sound like totally different stories.

[Caller or Contributor]

See, I even think three weeks is too close. I think three weeks.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You're right, it is. But I mean, if you're. If I'm. If you're talking to two people and one of you. One of them tells you that they were broken up with two weeks before Christmas, and the other one says three. It seems like light years.

[Caller or Contributor]

I think here's. And here's.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

It's gonna be a rainy Monday.

[Caller or Contributor]

Do it today. The way the story is gonna be told is if you breakup today, the breakup happens. The breakup happens before midnight tonight. You got broken up with right after Thanksgiving. But if it happens tomorrow or later. He broke up with me right before Christmas.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yes.

[Jen - Co-Host]

True.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I would take right after Thanksgiving.

[Caller or Contributor]

Thanks.

Because that's December thing. So you gotta say today. Today is the say no to Love day.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Today is prime time.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yep.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I mean, if you really want to be lazy about it. Cause the idea to break up usually happens. And then it takes days, weeks, if not months to actually execute.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

You got to squint your eyes and do it today. Push through it.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hey, John. Good morning. You're right. I wonder if we could find anybody that would rather be in a bad relationship right now. Just like, you know, he doesn't want to be in it, but you would just rather go through the motions and have him break up right after New Year's rather than be broken up with right now.

[Jen - Co-Host]

There's a ton of women who feel that way, and they even feel mediocre about the relationship, but they're like, I

[Wendy - Co-Host]

don't feel like he's sticking it to my family parties and all that stuff.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

But, like, if you're gonna. If you know you're gonna break up with the dude, like, right after January, are you sticking it up, sticking it out this month?

[Jen - Co-Host]

Depends on how long you've been dating. If you've been together several years. Yeah, you're riding it through.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

You gotta ride it through.

[Jen - Co-Host]

I think under a year. You're probably ready to bounce right now, but.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

But you have office parties that you need dates to. You're not gonna break up right now.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I wanna talk to the people that already know it's over. January 2nd. This thing's over. All right. 404-741. Q100.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Ouch.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

But like Jen said, you've been in the relationship two or three years.

[Jen - Co-Host]

You're like, I don't wanna explain it to my mother.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Gonna stick it out. But, you know, January 2nd, the first call you're making is, I never wanna see you again. I hate you. And I've hated you for three months.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Move out.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hey, John. What's going on?

[Caller or Contributor]

Not too much. How are y' all doing?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Good, man.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

What's up?

[Caller or Contributor]

I was gonna go back about three or four years ago. I was dating a girl for about two years, and she broke up with me on Christmas morning.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Oh, no.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

No violation.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yeah. And I already had reservations at the Western for New Year's Eve and had planned to go pick out the engagement ring to make.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Why was she so desperate that that was the day? Like, did you guys get into a small bubbling argument that turned into something huge?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Not.

[Caller or Contributor]

No idea. As far as I know, she still won't ever tell me. To this day, what happened?

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Wow.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I've got a theory, but I don't want to tell you because it'll hurt your feelings.

[Caller or Contributor]

Well, you can tell us.

Go ahead.

Don't tell him. Tell us.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Is it possible that she had another dude and she wanted to spend that Christmas day with him?

[Caller or Contributor]

I have no idea, but I. She never returned any phone calls, and her friends and everything said that she just didn't want to be with him, be with anybody for that period of time, but I don't know. I think she was cheating on me, but I don't know.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Damn, that hurt.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Aww.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Christmas morning. God.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yeah.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

That's brutal. That's rude.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I told you. Chandra and I broke up on Valentine's Day. I just couldn't take it anymore. We were at Valentine's night dinner.

[Caller or Contributor]

When did you get back together? How many days after that?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

The next day, probably the next day, two hours later, it was at I'll never forget Houston.

[Caller or Contributor]

Did you make a scene?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

It was one of those under the breath arguments. And it was. You had to sit through the whole Valentine's dinner, basically quiet.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

Made the waiter uncomfortable.

[Caller or Contributor]

You're looking at all the other tables, and the couples are, like, holding hands.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

It's been 17 years. I still dislike her so much right now.

[Jen - Co-Host]

In the anger, huh?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I'm getting so pissed.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Let it go, dude. Let it go.

[Caller or Contributor]

Careful. Wendy's about to throw a glass of water on you.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hey, Amy. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Good morning.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Hi.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Hi. Well, I guess my whole story is my husband and I both kind of decided on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, that we were going to get a divorce. Seriously? I packed up, like, all my stuff, what I could fit in my car, and I left. And I have my dog.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a producer or secondary host)]

You just couldn't take one more family gathering?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

No, no. Just couldn't do it. He had kids from, like, previous marriage. I don't have any kids, so that kind of threw a big kink in it.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So you decided. Look, as soon as the holidays are over, we already know this is over, but we'll go through the motions for Everybody. But come January 2nd, that's it. We're filing.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Right. Well, you know, I'm. You know, I'm already out. I'm not with him anymore. I'm unfortunately had to move back home, but, you know, my dad's awesome, so he's like, just come on home. So I did, and we're gonna wait until after the holidays to file the papers and everything.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Okay.

[Jen - Co-Host]

At least he got out now.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah, right. It's A lot of time invested right there. Hey, Lisa. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Good morning.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Morning.

[Caller or Contributor]

Well, yeah, I really need to break up with him because he's 22 and I'm 38.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Oh, wow. Okay. How long have you been seeing each other?

[Jen - Co-Host]

Two years, since he was 20.

[Caller or Contributor]

Wow.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

He hit the cougar jackpot. Now, was this like a serious emotional relationship or was this like a boy toy? Yours?

[Caller or Contributor]

No. At first it started out just like something fun, something to do, great sex, you know, all of that. Then it turned into a relationship, which, of course, he's so young, it's like I'm more serious than he is, so it's time to back it up. But I don't want to be alone for Christmas.

Well, why don't you just go over to his parents house? When he gets his new bike,

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

his little Radio Flyer, you guys come.

[Caller or Contributor]

Could spend the night in his room together and then come down in your pajamas. And mom and dad could take a picture of him coming around the corner like they have for the past 11 years of his life.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

His little footy PJ's out.

[Caller or Contributor]

You can help him the night before, you can help him put the milk and cookies out.

[Jen - Co-Host]

And at Christmas dinner, you can cut his meat.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So you would rather be with this guy knowing that it's over after the holidays than be alone on Christmas?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I really would.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Cause you're not miserable.

[Caller or Contributor]

I'm not miserable.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

But you're just over it.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Is he giving you the Heisman or what?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Yeah.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Cause you're being too serious. You want a relationship and he wanted just to have fun.

[Caller or Contributor]

Yeah. And at first it started off both of us just wanted to have fun. Then he wanted to be serious. I think he's over it. And I'm kind of over it too, but man, the sex is so good.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I don't. Keep your eye on. I know.

[Caller or Contributor]

What?

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I understand.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Yeah. Are you gonna be mad if he breaks up with you before the hol.

[Caller or Contributor]

I'm gonna be PO'd. I wanna do it first. I wanna be the cougar that lets the young one go.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Right.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Then you need to do it today.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Do it today. Today.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Today is still November.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Yeah. Today is your day. I mean, this is breakup day. We should officially make this some kind of holiday.

[Jen - Co-Host]

This is breakup day. You've got plenty of time to wrap up a new president under the tree,

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

you know, like, what time are you gonna wrap up? What time are you gonna wrap up work tonight?

[Caller or Contributor]

I am off of work today.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Okay. What time is he out? Of school. What time is the last bell?

[Caller or Contributor]

What time you pick it up at the button?

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

That is so funny.

[Caller or Contributor]

It's so wrong.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Is he available, like, tonight? Because I'm thinking, hook him up a couple more times tonight and then let him go.

[Caller or Contributor]

Okay, I'll do that.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I get midnight tonight.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Call us tomorrow and see if you could do it.

[Caller or Contributor]

Call us tomorrow and let us know you didn't do it.

Cause Jeff is right. I probably won't, but. Okay, I'm gonna try. I'm really gonna try. But if we have sex, it's over.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

I can't do it right.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

So, you know, let them.

[Caller or Contributor]

Let them being honest. All these women be like, oh, we're just, you know, it's not the same. It's just pure sex is all it is.

Well, whatever.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Why can't you continue to do that then? Why can't you just continue to have sex with the guy, but they don't have a relationship?

[Caller or Contributor]

Because now I've developed feelings for this young guy and that's not right.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Break up.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Break up. You gotta let him go today. Today's breakup day.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

It's November. Breakup now.

[Caller or Contributor]

I won't try.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

Breakup.

[Jen - Co-Host]

Happy breakup.

[Caller or Contributor]

Just make sure between now and the time you're gonna talk to him. You or he doesn't hear the new R. Kelly song because that will make it impossible to break up.

[Wendy - Co-Host]

He's gonna break up with you if you don't do it.

[Caller or Contributor]

I think so, too. I think so too.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

All right. Get it on the checkup at least.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Well, I have to see him today

[Caller or Contributor]

around 1 o', clock, so.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

All right, cool. One last present for him and then you gotta go.

[Caller or Contributor]

Okay, I'll try.

By 1:30, you should be single.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Can we talk to you?

[Caller or Contributor]

We don't have sex.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

Let's talk tomorrow morning to see if you actually did it or not.

[Val - Caller with relationship story]

Okay.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

All right, hold on.

[Caller or Contributor]

Okay. She totally won't.

[Bert - Main Radio Host]

I guarantee she has sex with that guy. She's not gonna break up, and I do. This is the Birch Show.

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[Bert - Main Radio Host]

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[Radio Host - Ad Read]

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[Jen - Co-Host]

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