Full Show PT 3: Friday, January 23 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Friday, January 23 [Vault]

Original Air Date: January 23, 2026
Hosts/Main Speakers: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show cast
Episode Theme: Laughs and real-life insights from the cast, covering morning show antics. Key segments include the long-awaited resolution to a "who is the better driver?" competition between Bert and Stacy, and an in-depth follow-up about listener Amanda’s dramatic life reinvention.

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Overview

This episode brings a mix of competition, personal revelations, and listener participation. The two main storylines feature:

• The outcome of Bert and Stacy’s driving test showdown, complete with banter, playful taunts, and expert judgment
• A follow-up with Amanda, a listener in the midst of major life changes, exploring themes of honesty, self-reinvention, and the emotional fallout of fresh starts

The hosts keep things fast, funny, and authentic while tackling relatable real-life issues.

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Driving Test Showdown: Bert vs. Stacy

Setup and Taunting (00:00–04:05)

• Bert and Stacy recount taking a professional driving test before vacation.
• The test was meant to resolve a household debate: Who is truly the better driver?
• Both drove the same car for fairness, with Alan from New London Driving School administering the test.
• Taunting and overconfidence on Bert’s part, with claims of test perfection:
  • Quote:
    "There has to be winners. There has to be losers. My house is a microcosm of America." – Bert (00:01)
  • Stacy describes Bert's taunts and her hope that parking would be included, as she thinks Bert is notably bad at it.

Details of the Test and Initial Reactions (04:05–06:11)

• Stacy reveals she had extra tasks (parallel parking) that Bert had managed to skip.
• Bert concedes the vehicle (a gigantic truck) is difficult for him to park.
• The group jokes about the difficulties and fairness of the challenge.
• Bert’s confession: He lied about not getting driving instructions, stirring playful accusations about his honesty.
  • Quote:
    "Well, that's nice that you lied." – Stacy (05:06)

Announcement of the Winner (06:11–07:00)

• Alan, the instructor, gives his verdict and praises both for solid, safe driving.
• Memorable Moment: Alan reveals the winner is... Stacy!
  • Quote:
    "The person that won this actually is Stacy." – Alan (06:24)
• Bert is floored and demands to see the test sheets!

Breakdown of Performance (07:00–09:02)

• Alan’s reasoning: Bert lost points for going over the speed limit, while Stacy’s parallel parking was "awful," but it was not weighted heavily.
  • Quote:
    "If we had included that parallel parking, then I'm afraid Bert would have won." – Alan (07:36)
• The show ribs Bert on his loss and Stacy gives a playful victory speech, thanking listeners and her (slightly infamous) father for her driving prowess.
  • Quote:
    "It will always be there every time we get in the car... I can be a silent winner." – Stacy (08:56)

Final Confirmation and Lasting Consequences (09:02–13:16)

• The hosts insist Bert must admit, unambiguously, that Stacy is the better driver.
• Notable Audio: Bert, on-air and with no background music, finally concedes:
  • Quote:
    "My wife Stacy is a better driver than I am.” – Bert (11:19)
• The cast ruminates on the consequences: jokes about home decorations, perpetual reminders, and harmless family trolling.
• Alan offers to come back for a rematch in a year. The segment wraps with good-natured ribbing and acceptance.

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Listener Life Change Follow-Up: Amanda’s Reinvention

Recap and Where Things Stand (13:25–16:17)

• Amanda, previously featured for planning radical life changes, calls in for an update.
• She has since quit her job, moved back to Ohio, and is preparing for a clean start, including possibly changing her appearance and name.
• Quote:
  “I just want to talk because I’m moving back to Ohio.” – Amanda (14:12)
• Her boss reacted positively, praising her work ethic even during her notice period.

The "Major Hookup" and New Opportunities (16:17–18:37)

• Amanda reveals she landed a new temp gig at a PR firm in Atlanta after a show listener recommended her.
• The job pays more than her previous one and offers the potential for a permanent, higher-paying position.
  • Quote:
    “I got the major hookup. I have a new gig that’s going to start on January 4th.” – Amanda (16:17)

On Changing Identity and Starting Fresh (18:37–20:44)

• Amanda intends to change her hair and use her middle name with new acquaintances.
• She’s secretive about specifics but excited by the prospect of a “completely new” self.

Host and Listener Reflections on Honesty, Lies, and Growth (20:44–25:01)

• Hosts question Amanda’s willingness to omit truths or lie outright as she resets her life.
• They reflect on the difference between externally changing circumstances and real, internal transformation.
• Listener Katie’s advice (22:00):
  • "Wherever you are, whatever you do… your happiness really depends on you. You have to be true and honest with yourself and everyone around you."
• Katie suggests sometimes "you have to lie to keep your courage" (23:12), but stresses ultimate happiness is rooted in self-honesty.
• Another listener, Julia, shares that lying during a similar personal reinvention cost her friends and family (24:50).

Hosts Debate Amanda's Trajectory and Integrity (25:25–27:23)

• The cast speculates whether Amanda will stick with them or vanish after her reinvention.
• Mixed takes:
  • Some see Amanda as selfishly focused and likely to cut ties if not benefitting herself.
  • Others defend her actions as natural adjustment to new expectations and environments.
  • Quote:
    “She’s adjusting her life to what her expectation was when she came down here.” – Co-host (25:53)
• Ultimately, concerns are raised about the long-term effects of dishonesty in forging a new identity.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• “There has to be winners. There has to be losers. My house is a microcosm of America.”
  — Bert (00:01)

• “Well, that's nice that you lied.”
  — Stacy (05:06)

• “The person that won this actually is Stacy.”
  — Alan, Driving Instructor (06:24)

• “If we had included that parallel parking, then I'm afraid Bert would have won.”
  — Alan (07:36)

• “My wife Stacy is a better driver than I am.”
  — Bert (11:19)

• "Wherever you are, whatever you do… your happiness really depends on you. You have to be true and honest with yourself and everyone around you."
  — Katie, Listener (22:00)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• Driving Test Build-Up & Taunting: 00:00–04:05
• Test Details & Rules: 04:05–06:11
• Announcement of Winner: 06:11–07:00
• Analysis & Victory Speech: 07:00–09:02
• Bert’s Concession & Fallout: 09:02–13:16
• Amanda’s Reinvention Follow-Up: 13:25–25:01
• Listener & Host Debate: 25:25–27:23

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Takeaways

• Humor & Heart: The Bert Show continues to blend sharp humor with sincere discussion, showing how even trivial competitions (like a driving test) can mirror relationship dynamics.
• Relatability: Amanda’s journey reflects the universal search for identity, the allure and peril of reinvention, and the blurry lines between self-preservation and honesty.
• Memorable Moments: Bert’s forced, solemn concession and the group’s collective ribbing. Amanda’s cautious excitement as she steps into her redesigned life.
• Authenticity First: Whether winning, losing, or making major changes, the hosts encourage “owning” your choices—and if possible, doing it with a laugh.

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For full drama, laughs, and life lessons, this episode is packed with Bert Show energy and honesty. Perfect for listeners who value real talk, playful banter, and a few life lessons along the way.

Transcript

[A]

The third show. This is America. There has to be winners. There has to be losers. My house is a microcosm of America. Someone I don't know. I just told Melissa I know I'm tired because I'm just talking too much.

[B]

First day back from vacation. But, I mean, Bert is confident that this test result will go in his favor.

[A]

Stacy is on hold. Alan from New London Driving School is on hold. We will get the results here in just a second. Hey, Stace.

[C]

Hi.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

How are you?

[D]

I'm fine.

[A]

There's a little bit of taunting going on this week on vacation, waiting for these results, I gotta tell you.

[E]

So you guys took this driving test before we left for vacation?

[A]

Yeah. Stacey, you want to explain exactly what the driving test was all about?

[D]

The driving test.

[F]

Well, said they had a car, so.

[D]

We both had to drive the same car, so it was fair. And then we had. The school was in the car with us, and there were three people, so it made you a little tense. Except he asked me when I got in the car if I was nervous. I wasn't nervous at all. But he said you were.

[F]

I was, yeah.

[D]

So.

[G]

Well, you took a bunch of Quaaludes.

[A]

Before the test, and I smoked a bunch of weed. Just clouded my. Clouded my judgment. My timing.

[G]

Also said quaaludes since Studio 54's been quaaludes. What the hell was that?

[E]

What is that?

[A]

Anyway, so, yeah, we get in our. We separately got in the car with Alan from New London Driving School. And it's not old school like it used to be. Like, I remember taking the driving test back in high school where you had a steering wheel and an accelerator and a brake on. On my side of the car. And the instructor had the same. On his side of the car. Dude just has a brake now.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

There's no steering wheel. So if you're doing something wrong, Alan's going to hit the brake as quick as he can.

[B]

Now, before we get to the test itself, Stacy, we in here in the studio have heard Bert talk about this driving test and how confident he is and the taunting. And I kind of, you know, saying that there's taunting going on. And. Well, I want to hear from your perspective how Bert's been taunting you about this.

[D]

Well, he basically keeps saying that he got 100% on the test because it's going to be like a point system. And then he's like, there's just no way that you beat me. I did perfectly in the test. And I. I said to him, did. When I got in the car. Allen said to me, you know, I'm going to get. I'm going to give you some information as we're driving, some rules and things you may have forgot since you originally went to driving school. I'm not going to say how many years ago. And then. But Bert said that he didn't give him. That Alan didn't give him any instructions. So then I was kind of like, well, but he said it as soon as we got in the car. So then I was like, he wasn't doing it just because he thought I needed it and Bert didn't. So I'm not sure what that meant, but I kind of felt like that was an advantage for me.

[G]

Why are they going into it? Because you're both in the same car going into it. I think because you're a woman, he wanted to even the playing field, so he wanted to give you a little advantage.

[F]

Right.

[D]

Okay. So anyway, he. He. So Bert said, well, since I didn't get instruction, then I know I did better than you, and there's just no way you could have beat me. And I didn't say anything. I mean, I've just been quiet. I just been like, well, whatever, we'll just see the score. Because, I mean, I know that I drive better than him. And the other thing on the test is, like, we had to do everything. Highway driving, street driving, you know, lots of traffic lights, lots of left turns. But when we came back, I said, well, do you want to do some parking? And don't you think that maybe we should be graded on that? So I had to do some parking, pull in, back into a straight spot. Then I had to also parallel park. And I did all those perfectly but didn't have to park. And I was kind of bummed about that because that was the one thing that I think he's really bad at and that I'm much better at. So I was kind of bummed that he didn't have to do that.

[A]

They didn't ask me to do that, really, for whatever reason.

[D]

Yeah, it was my suggestion.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So we were trying to bring him back downstairs to do the parking after I was done, but he'd already gone home at that point.

[A]

Darn it. That's just bum luck, right?

[E]

Parking was her trump card.

[A]

It was because, well, I don't think I'm a bad. I don't park badly. I park her. The boat that she calls a truck badly, because it's just so big.

[B]

And you can't park a trip.

[A]

The thing is, seriously, it's like the size of a small cruise ship.

[D]

Well, is there a reason that I, little person that I am, can park that truck like there's no tomorrow? People look at me like, how did you do that?

[A]

Well, you drive it every day. Let's just. Let's let the facts and let's let the numbers speak to themselves at this point. Okay?

[G]

The size of the car you're parking, you technically could be on top of like one of those old school geometrics. And nobody would know because you just pull the thing right over it. Like one of those old. Those old. The neons. Like that could be crushed under like a soda can under your tire.

[A]

Nobody would just drive this big old. It's an armada, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And things. Huge. Stupid. I shouldn't. It shouldn't be legal. But Alan is from New London Driving School. And Stacy, I didn't tell you this, that I was just jacking with you, that Alan was giving me instruction as we were driving also.

[F]

Oh, okay. Well, that's nice that you lied.

[D]

That seems fair.

[A]

Now it's going to be a more global problem.

[G]

So.

[A]

You lied to me. Well, if you lied to me about this, maybe you lied to me about other things that I don't know about.

[B]

The words have come out of. What kind of person do you really want to be? Do you want to be the person who lies to me or the person who does?

[G]

Well, in that case, Stacy would like you to know that in the middle of the driving test, she pulled over and made out with Alan, the instructor.

[A]

He's pretty sexy guy. I can understand the lore. Hey, Alan.

[H]

Hello.

[A]

How are you today?

[H]

I am very well. How about you both?

[A]

I'm doing great. Really great. Now, Alan, please be Stacey.

[G]

As a matter of fact, Alan, hold on a minute. I would like to talk to you about making this win. Winner be.

[A]

Stacy, despite what you've heard on the radio or despite personality in the car, you got to take it just. I mean, strictly professionally. Go ahead.

[H]

Professionally, you are both actually very good drivers. Neither of you made any serious mistakes on the road. You were checking what you were doing. You actually did what we teach our students to do. You took your lives in your hands and you protected them.

[A]

Okay, this is not. This is not soccer. There can be no soccer.

[H]

No, no, I don't play soccer. That's for hooligans. I play rugby. Okay, having said that, the person that won this actually is Stacy.

[A]

What?

[H]

Let me tell you why.

[G]

How is that possible? Hold on a minute, Alan. We are rejoicing. How is that possible? We Won't hear.

[A]

How is that even possible?

[G]

Hold on a minute, Bert. Quiet. Stacy, congratulations on your victory.

[D]

Thank you, Jeff.

[G]

Do you have any. Do you have any words for the. For the, you know, academy or anybody you'd like to thank?

[A]

I want facts. I want facts. I want to know the. I want to see the sheets. I want to know.

[F]

I want to see the facts.

[D]

You would have won, and you would have. You would be able to get to say something so you.

[H]

Can I.

[G]

Hold on, Alan. We have a victory speech coming from the winner, the driving test.

[H]

Can I just continue? Just a momentary speech. Isn't that great?

[G]

Oh, no.

[H]

Oh, yes. Well, but the reason. The reason that Stacy beat you was simply because at a couple of points while you were driving, you went over the speed limit.

[F]

Okay.

[H]

Now, talking to Stacy about her parallel parking, quite honestly, it was awful. She didn't look. She didn't use blinkers. She left the vehicle about three feet out from the curb. So I wasn't very impressed with the parallel parking. And if we had included that parallel parking, then I'm afraid Bert would have won.

[A]

Well, I think we have to go ahead and get me parallel parking.

[H]

Listen, the only thing with that is I've never heard of a person dying parallel parking. So at New London, we kind of concentrate on the road and where you can hurt yourself.

[A]

And in your opinion, Stacy. There's less of a chance of Stacy hurting herself than I.

[H]

Absolutely. And I got it. And I will reiterate, and both of my other instructors with me will confirm that you both did extraordinarily well.

[G]

But the winner of the driving test once again, was Stacy.

[B]

Because this is America. In America, there's winners and losers.

[A]

There's a hanging chad somewhere. Go ahead, darling.

[F]

There you go.

[A]

Do what you gotta do.

[D]

Well, first of all, I'd like to thank all the listeners that prayed for me and supported me through this, because I'm sure that that helped me with my confidence. Secondly, I'd like to thank my father, who's probably the best driver in the world, and that's who taught me to drive. And.

[A]

Wait, didn't your dad, like, roll a car and jack up his shoulder one night?

[G]

It didn't count.

[A]

He was drunk.

[F]

You know, whatever.

[D]

So the other thing that I think is going to be wonderful is that I'll never have to say a word again in the car because he will always know that I won. And it will always be there every time we get in the car that will never be forgotten. So I can be a silent winner and still in my, you know, in my silence, know that I can chuckle a little because I beat him.

[G]

Oh, that's going to be the worst. Because now in the car, she could go, hey, nevermind. And then she doesn't have to say a word.

[A]

I have zero defense. Zero defense. Zero. Okay, honey, you have been crowned the best driver in the house.

[E]

I need to ask the instructor something really quickly. Is he still on the phone?

[A]

Yeah. Alan's here. Hey, Alan.

[F]

Alan.

[H]

Hey.

[E]

One of Bert's complaints about Stacy was that she drove too far on the right side of the road. Like where he said she was about to take out mailboxes all the time. Did you find that when she.

[H]

No, I didn't. No, we didn't find that. A lot of. A lot of people make that complaint because the passenger sitting closer to the mailbox that she. She did. She did fine. And she's literally.

[A]

She's literally taken out mailboxes.

[G]

Alan, I'd like to ask you a question. Based on the question Jen just asked and something you said earlier. If you were to make a decision to drive closer to the center line or closer to a tiny little harmless mailbox with, wouldn't the proper answer be to err on the side of the mailbox and be a little farther right than left?

[H]

I think an 18 wheeler coming directly towards you is a lot less forgiving than a mailbox.

[G]

There you go, Stacey. Congratulations.

[A]

I mean, at this point, it's just overkill.

[G]

At this point, I feel like I need to send her a gift or something because you've given us quite a present.

[D]

You're welcome.

[A]

All right, honey, congratulations. The fight is over. I can never, ever, ever bring up again.

[B]

Say it.

[E]

Say it.

[A]

Stacy, baby, you are a better driver than I am.

[G]

Actually, hold on a minute.

[A]

I just threw open my mouth just a little bit.

[G]

Can you turn the music off and say that with no background? And we're gonna want to note the time, whoever's doing the index. Everyone quiet.

[A]

So you want me to say just my wife or you want me to direct it?

[G]

My wife Stacy is a better driver than I am. Oh, he's sweating.

[A]

My wife Stacy is a better driver than I am.

[G]

And that's all we need. That'll be the promo.

[A]

Okay, talk to you later.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Congratulations.

[G]

Congratulations.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Thanks. Bye. Bye.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

Alan?

[H]

Yes, Pat?

[A]

New London Driving School. I'm sorry, I think that you have to reassess the way that you give tests.

[E]

Of course.

[A]

Thank you for helping us out. Appreciate it.

[H]

Well, listen, we'll come back in a year's time and retest you. How about that, Bert? I will take you up when you've learned to stay below the speed limit.

[G]

He's already told. He's already emailed Tracy and I to find an American driving school to give a proper test on the basis that y' all don't even know what side of the road to be on.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't even see any of his papers. Green cards, citizenship, nothing. I don't even know if he's legal here. But I'm sorry.

[H]

Well, I came over the border before they closed it.

[A]

All right, Alan, thanks for all your help. Appreciate it. Thank you.

[H]

I appreciate it. I really enjoyed both of you.

[A]

Thank you.

[G]

I got emails. We're gonna have Alan's information up online because I got an email from another couple who wants to do based on what they have the same argument. Stacy and Bert have no doubt.

[A]

God, that hurts. How is that possible? I was so, like, looking at the speed limit.

[G]

Dude, the look on your face.

[A]

I was shocked. I'm shocked. You don't even know, like, this is the trophy in the house. And now it's settled.

[G]

You heard her. She's going to torture you with silence.

[F]

I know.

[G]

Damn it.

[A]

A good winner. I hate that.

[G]

And you know, you're going to, like, you're going to blow through a stop sign or make some little mistake or.

[A]

Go one mile per hour over this vehicle.

[D]

Right?

[G]

And she's going to go, hey, never mind.

[A]

Right.

[E]

You know how Stacy likes to decorate the house? Like she gets way into holidays?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

You're going to come home today, and it's going to be, like, little cars everywhere. And her, like, car trophies all over the living room.

[A]

Blown up. The blown up test with her score on it and my score on it.

[G]

Or it's going to be. Or it's going to get in your head this way. Like, if Hayden needs to go somewhere, he'll say, oh, I'll take him. No, no, no, I'll take him.

[A]

The first show. It's been a couple of weeks since we talked to her, and the last time we talked to her, she told us this was the last change.

[F]

My sister's husband is a real estate agent, and he actually. He works in Ohio, but he's actually does some work in Atlanta. Actually, that's one of the things that made it so nice to live in the area. And he wants to buy a townhouse in midtown so I can pay rent to him.

[G]

What exactly did you say to your boss yesterday? Or are you quitting your job today?

[F]

Well, I just, I just said, you know, briefly. I was like, listen, you know, I want to talk because I'm moving back to Ohio.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, let's rewind that again. Say that one more time.

[F]

I just, I just, when, you know, I saw her, I was just like, listen, I'm moving back to Ohio. You know, we, I just want to talk to you when you have time. And she's like, oh, that's cool. You know, yeah, we'll get together. We're going to get together today and talk.

[A]

You make it official today at work.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I had Amanda after the boss today. And you give your two weeks, what's the next big change?

[F]

My hair, I guess.

[B]

Long hair to short or color change.

[G]

Or shirt to long.

[F]

I think what I might do, I have really long dark hair. I think I might go really, really short and blonde or red.

[A]

Alright, so the last time we talked to her, she had not quit her job yet. Right. All right, let's find out how that went first. Hey Amanda.

[F]

Hi.

[C]

How are you?

[A]

I'm okay. It's been a couple of weeks since we talked to you.

[G]

Yeah, Merry Christmas.

[F]

Thank you very much. Merry Christmas to you too.

[A]

And you're actually in Ohio now.

[F]

Yeah, I'm at my parents house in Ohio.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. So the last time we talked you were about to quit your job.

[F]

Uh huh.

[A]

Did you do that?

[F]

Yep.

[A]

You did?

[H]

I did.

[A]

How'd it go?

[F]

It went okay. My, my boss was really cool, you know, she was really sweet actually. She just said that I did a really great job and that, you know, she really appreciated how I really kicked it up to 110% right before I left because a lot of people just sort of SL when they quit a job, but I really kicked it into high gear. So she was really psyched. And you know, I'm basically done. You know, I've got like, I think one more gig that I might do for her before the, you know, after the holidays, but that's it really.

[G]

I don't know if this has been asked before, but when you do the complete separation of your two lives, like old Amanda and new Amanda, like when you do that, can you use your old job as a reference or do you have to pretend that didn't even exist? Because aren't you tell everybody that you moved, that you're like everybody you meet in your new life, you're gonna say, oh yeah, I just moved here. That makes sense.

[F]

Oh yeah, I understand that. Actually that's not even an issue. She gave me a letter of recommendation Which I thought was really cool, but I actually don't need it.

[A]

Why don't you need it?

[F]

Because I got the major hookup.

[A]

What major hookup?

[F]

I did. I got the major hookup. I have a new gig that's gonna start on January 4th.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Can you tell us what it is?

[F]

Sure. Well, I guess you guys, you amazing, wonderful, awesome People at your radio station forwarded me an email that a listener sent you guys. Actually, it was Tracy. They sent an email to Tracy and she forwarded to me. It's a temp job with this PR firm in Atlanta.

[A]

Are you kidding?

[F]

I'm totally serious. And it's a four month temporary job with the PR firm. And I'm working on this really special project they said that would be totally perfect for. And it's this huge thing that's going to be coming through Atlanta, but I can't say what it is because it's this totally top secret, crazy project. No, I can't say anything. I really can't. But it pays even more money than my last job. Here's the thing that blows my mind. After these four months, if everything goes well and I get along with everybody and everybody thinks I'm cool, they're going to offer me full time and even more money.

[A]

All right, so let me get this straight. Somebody from a PR agency was listening to you over the last couple of weeks and has listened to the way that you've handled all of these breakups and changes in your life and said this would be the perfect woman for our organization?

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Can you tell us what PR firm?

[F]

No, I think that would be smarter than that. No, I can't say anything about any of that stuff. I'm only allowed to tell you that I have this available to me.

[H]

And.

[F]

And that's how it's going.

[A]

Didn't you tell us when you were going to quit your job? Also that you were going to tell them that you were just moving back to Ohio. You weren't even going to come clean with them?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So I'm just trying to get in the mindset of the new employer so they know that you've got, like, all of these issues of kind of lying when you cut things off. And they're like, that's okay. That's cool. She just sounds like she'd be perfect for our PR firm, basically. Okay.

[B]

All right. Congratulations.

[A]

Good break for you.

[F]

Yeah, well, it's pretty amazing. I mean, you know, the people that I've spoken to so far have just been wonderful and really cool and I'M just. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. And I just feel like I just really am doing the right thing for my life.

[B]

So what? So what's next?

[F]

I don't know. There's a million and one things that could happen, I guess. I mean, I'm going to do my hair while I'm. I think I might do it while I'm out here. I'm trying to decide if I should do it while I'm out in Ohio or if I should do it the day that I move because I don't want anybody to see me before I'm going to be in this apartment on the 28th because my townhouse isn't going to be ready yet. So I'm thinking maybe when I move into the apartment that day, maybe I'll wear a hat or something, and then that day get my hair done, and then I'll look completely different and it'll.

[G]

Be the new you starting on. The new you is born on December 28th. The new Amanda.

[F]

With a new name and everything. I'm going to be using my middle name. That's how everybody knows me now. My new job.

[A]

You're changing your name also?

[F]

Yeah. Well, I'm just using my middle one.

[A]

Can we ask you what that is?

[F]

No way. I'm not telling anybody.

[G]

Amanda's not even a real first name, so.

[A]

Oh, it's not? Okay.

[G]

All right.

[A]

I mean, you know what? On one hand, good for you. You set these goals up based on what you thought was right for you, and you handled it the way that you thought was right. And you have cleared the way for this brand new life for you. And you set a goal, and you're doing it. You're doing it. You know, the way you've done it could be questioned, but the end result so far is exactly what you wanted.

[B]

So is everything done? The friends clipped. The boyfriend clipped. You got the new car, you got the new job, you get in the new place. Was there anything else left on the list?

[F]

Wow. I don't know. I might get a dog.

[A]

Well, I mean, all the new friends. I mean, this whole new life really does start in January. So it's gonna be interesting to see if you're honest with us starting next year, if this whole brand new life, you know, you got the new gig, which you're all excited about, you're living in this, you know, new apartment or townhouse inside the perimeter that you thought was gonna be really cool, and you want to hang out with all these new cool people and you got the new cool car. It's gonna be interesting if you're honest to see if it's everything that you thought it was going to be.

[G]

We don't know who you are. So will you honestly tell us if it blows? Like, I mean, if you're like, you.

[F]

Know, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, and I'll just keep on going because I made a decision and I'm sticking to it, and I'm going to make my life work no matter what anybody says.

[G]

But wait, like, we had this guy Ben on, and we got, you know, we kind of came down hard on Ben because he was kind of a dorky fella and whatever, and. And then he just disappeared on us. So we don't want you, like, if it.

[A]

Like, we're just asking you to see it out. Like, if things are great, we want to talk to you, but if things kind of suck, we're just asking you to be honest with us and go. Because there are others that can learn a lesson probably here. Like, it sounds like you're going through almost like one of these quarter life crises. And if there are others that are listening to your story that want to make all these different changes and stuff, we would like to be able to use you as the example to either raise up or to say, look, this is the reality of it.

[F]

Well, sure. I mean, if things, you know, if things don't go exactly the way I want them to, you know, I mean, maybe, you know, you guys help me figure out my finance situation, you know, I mean, maybe you'll be able to help me figure out a new path.

[A]

All right, we'll do what we can. Now, hold on one second. Here's Katie with some advice. Hey, Katie.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

I was one of your first callers to talk to Jessica and encourage her with this change. And one thing that I've been listening over the last couple of weeks, one thing that I really want to stress to you, dear, is that no matter what kind of changes that you make in, like, make in your life, you are core, at the core, the same person, and you make the same decisions. Just remember, wherever you are, whatever you do, you. You know, that's where you're at, and your happiness really depends on you. You have to be true and honest with yourself and everyone around you. That would be the only thing that I would disag with things that you've done. You know, sometimes you have to lie to give yourself courage. But the true, you know, true happiness comes from knowing yourself. And knowing who you are, you know, I made those. I went through a very similar thing where I turned my life upside down. And it's a very hard and, you know, hard thing, but you build courage from it. But the one thing that I was always, always with people in my life, if I was honest. So if you're unhappy, let people know you're unhappy and change the things that you can. But certainly keep your eye on your goals, career wise, education wise, and your life in general.

[A]

Katie, let me ask you this, because this is all really good Dr. Phil's stuff, but the thing that I focused on there was you saying that sometimes you have to lie to keep your courage.

[F]

People lie all the time. Look at how many natural wands do you know?

[C]

What I'm saying is that sometimes you have to lie to yourself. You have to tell yourself a story long enough to make you believe it. Something my mother used to tell me all the time. The facts of your life do not matter. It's the stories that you tell yourself that's what matters. So if you go through a bad situation and you find good, you find some kind of good out of it, whether it be learning a lesson or, gee, I'm not going to do that ever again because of this pain or because of this turmoil, you just keep repeating to yourself. But, you know, and that's what I mean by, you know, sometimes you have to allow yourself to get courage because you have to tell yourself a positive story over and over again to keep. Keep yourself motivated to not, you know, lay down and die and just accept, okay, this is my life and I'm going to blah.

[A]

Melissa, you've been awfully quiet.

[B]

Well, I just think it doesn't matter when you're in your early 20s. Doesn't matter. I mean, you can get all the advice in the world you want. I mean, I do, I do agree with her. Like, I that would move here, move there, move all around town and change the scenery would help motivate me to do. Make these changes stuff. And then you learn when you get older that it does. Yeah, like she said, it doesn't matter where you are. You still have to live with you and whatever demons are in you. So. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Amanda's not gonna listen to anything. She's psyched about this new job, she's psyched about her new car, and she's gonna get her hair cut. A symbolic, you know, change on the day she moves into her new place. So. Yeah, I mean, she's going through the.

[A]

Motions hey, Julia, we have about 6, 60 seconds.

[F]

I just wanted to say that, like, I agree with her in a way, because I went through a lot of the same thing, and I had a lie to some people and things like that.

[C]

But it's.

[F]

In the end, for me, it really wasn't worth it because I lost a lot of friends and I even lost some of my family for it. And I had to find who I really was to gain all of them back.

[A]

I don't know what you take from that, Amanda, but I do want to follow you, continue to follow you in January and see if this new life is really everything that it's all cracked up to be for you. Okay?

[C]

Okay. Sounds great.

[A]

All right. Have a great holiday. Thanks.

[F]

You too.

[A]

Talk to you later. Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

All right, you guys had to guess over the next six months. First of all, I think she's gonna bail on us. Before that.

[B]

Yeah, agree. I don't think she's gonna stick with us.

[A]

I don't think she's gonna stick with.

[B]

Us unless she needs something from us. Like, I don't think she. Because Amanda's in a very. And I don't mean this in an insulting way, but a very simple, selfish place. So, like, you even heard her say, well, maybe y' all eventually can help me with my financial situation. Like, she's not thinking about helping somebody else. She just wants to help herself. So I think she's gonna bail on us for sure.

[A]

What do you think?

[G]

I think she's gonna be fine. Like, I. I don't know what you guys are reading into it to see that this is so awful and she's not in a good place and she shouldn't be lying and blah, blah, blah. Like, I see a girl who. Who left Ohio to come to Atlanta because Atlanta's hip and cool and cosmopolitan and she didn't know about the city, but she just came down here, and she ended up in a place that wasn't what she expected. But after spending a year here, she saw where the hip and cool part of town was. She saw what the hip and cool people do, where they go, the bars they hang out at. So she's adjusting her life to what her expectation was when she came down here.

[A]

I don't think anybody disagrees with that. It's the way that she's handled it. The lies, the moving back to Ohio and that she hasn't handled it with honesty and integrity, that we're all like, what?

[G]

But she. I don't. But she hasn't really hurt anyone.

[A]

Well, she hasn't hurt anybody yet, but eventually the boyfriend is gonna find out. All the friends that are outside the perimeter are gonna find out. She's just postponing the hurt. It's gonna happen. This is too small a city.

[G]

Yeah. I don't.

[B]

And if I met somebody that I found out that they crushed. Yeah. I wouldn't be. I would look differently at them.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Absolutely.

[G]

You'd be crushed if somebody. You knew that you were. Like, if. I don't know who your friends are. You'd be crushed if someone that you consider a friend said, yeah, I'm leaving town. I mean, you'd lose sleep over it.

[B]

No, I know. If I met somebody and I learned their story was they were actually here two or three more years than they said, and they changed everything about. And I would look at them different, like, well, that's kind of weird.

[A]

Of course, I'd be bummed by that.

[B]

That's kind of weird.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[G]

I don't know.

[A]

We'll continue to follow her after January when we're all back from vacation. You're on the Burt Show.