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The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3: Friday, January 30 [Vault]
Date: January 30, 2026
Cast: Bert, Jeff, Tracy, Annie, Bob, various guest callers
Episode Overview
This spirited installment of The Bert Show delivers their signature blend of laughs and real talk, authentically inviting listeners into lively discussions about daily experiences—this time focusing on car buying stereotypes, sales industry secrets, and a popular recurring segment featuring “tough love” from a confident 12-year-old listener. The episode moves between candid industry confessions, comedic competition, and heartfelt advice for under-15 listeners, creating an entertaining spectrum of relatable content.
Key Discussion Points
1. Do Women Get Treated Differently at Car Dealerships?
[00:00–17:36]
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Voice-Disguised Dealer Insights:
Multiple car industry professionals (anonymously) discuss the stereotype that women are treated differently during car negotiations.- Annie (dealer): Confirms that, historically, women have been seen as “easier to talk to” or more excited to make a deal, but notes today's buyers—especially women—are often better educated and prepared thanks to the internet.
"Sometimes women are so, just so ecstatic to get into a situation that they don't care what you feed them." — Annie, [00:44]
- Warns against relying on the Kelly Blue Book for East Coast deals due to pricing regionality.
- Bob (dealer): Notes a major shift—women now make over 50% of car-buying decisions, and online transparency has essentially leveled the playing field.
"You can't really take advantage. There's none of that anymore." — Bob, [03:19]
- Annie (dealer): Confirms that, historically, women have been seen as “easier to talk to” or more excited to make a deal, but notes today's buyers—especially women—are often better educated and prepared thanks to the internet.
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Online Resources and Dealer Tricks:
- Bob’s Tips: Recommends manufacturer websites, AutomotiveNews.com, cars.com, and edmunds.com for getting an accurate sense of rebates and costs.
"All you gotta do is get on the Internet. Plus, it'll tell you any rebates and even hidden dealer cash." — Bob, [05:12]
- Discusses non-negotiable fees (sales tax, title, lemon law), but that document fees ("doc fees") can be discussed.
- Bob’s Tips: Recommends manufacturer websites, AutomotiveNews.com, cars.com, and edmunds.com for getting an accurate sense of rebates and costs.
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Old Sales Tricks & Dealer Reputation:
- Stories about outdated, shady practices like tacking on fake fees and even (illegally) bugging offices for negotiations.
"We just hit the speakerphone button on the, you know, on the phone before we leave the office. But it was 100% illegal..." — Bob, [16:26]
- Today, reputable dealerships focus on service and reputation to keep loyal customers—bad behavior spreads quickly.
- Stories about outdated, shady practices like tacking on fake fees and even (illegally) bugging offices for negotiations.
Notable Moments:
- Callers recount being trapped in dealerships (even having keys thrown on the roof!).
"They actually trapped him at the dealership and to the point where, trying to escape, he lost his shoe." — Burt, [07:43]
2. Accent Challenge: Who Does the Best British Accent?
[17:40–27:34]
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Bit Setup: Jeff and Burt rekindle an old bit—seeing who can stay on a call with a British business the longest without being “outed” for a fake accent.
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Jeff’s Call (Hotel): He impersonates a Brit and is not called out (though the cast jokes about his accent slipping into Australian).
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Burt’s Call (Mechanic): Takes a sillier, more theatrical route—jokes, flirts, asks for “bangers and mash” and “shepherd’s pie.” Much banter ensues.
"Perhaps we could travel up to my flat and you could have a look under my hood." — Burt, [26:23]
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Result: No winner declared; both have fun and the mechanic's receptionist plays along.
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Cast Reaction: Hilarity over who “broke character” and whether any English locals were fooled.
3. ‘Ask Annie’ — Teen Listener Gives Tough-Love Advice to Peers
[27:41–41:50]
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Concept: Annie, a confident 12-year-old listener, dispenses plainspoken advice to fellow teens—addressing real issues on air.
- Recurring bit leader quote:
“Like, she doesn't have to tell me. If she wants to tell me, then she'll tell me, but I'm gonna find out anyway, so it doesn't really matter.” — Annie, [28:46]
- Recurring bit leader quote:
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Common Themes and Mini Cases:
- Divorcing Parents: Allie, 13, expresses distress over parents fighting and potential divorce.
“If they're not like happy together, then like, you shouldn't feel bad if they get separated, because if they get separated, they obviously like, aren't like happy together.” — Annie, [30:21]
- Challenging Teachers: Alexa, 13, describes feeling targeted by a teacher who “loses her projects.”
"If you turn something in and they lose it ... don't ever say that the teacher lost it, because they'll get mad. Just say, 'Oh, I don't know what happened to it.'” — Annie, [34:08]
- Annoying Friend Dynamics: Raven, 14, and Tiana, 14, ask advice on distancing from clingy or “copycat” friends.
“Like, why are you copying me? Like, can you not come up with your own ideas that you have to steal mine?” — Annie, [39:14]
- Rumors at School: Randy, 15, shares embarrassment about rumors involving nose-picking and bed-wetting.
“If you're gonna start a rumor, start a good rumor. Don't start a lame one.” — Annie, [37:51]
- Divorcing Parents: Allie, 13, expresses distress over parents fighting and potential divorce.
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Parental Interjections:
- One caller’s mom humorously scolds her for calling the show with teen problems instead of just asking her for advice.
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Bert Show Takeaway:
- Adults and teens have the same friendship issues and emotional struggles, just with different context.
“We take the exact same calls for adults as for kids. ... I still don't believe anybody ever really evolves past the ninth grade.” — Jeff, [40:16]
- Adults and teens have the same friendship issues and emotional struggles, just with different context.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On Women in Car Buying:
“Women make more than 50% of the buying decisions when it comes to automobiles these days.” — Bob, [03:19]
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On Researching Before Buying:
“Just go to one of these websites right here, you've got it right there. There's no negotiation.” — Jeff, [05:32]
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On Dealer Office ‘Bugging’:
“It was 100% illegal ... [but] some guys would go as far as going to little spy stores and getting a little microphones that look like pens." — Bob, [16:47]
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On Adult vs. Teen Social Dramas:
“I can't even understand it with kids, but with grownups, that's just being whiny... you're a grownup, handle it.” — Annie, [40:31]
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On Loyalty to Good Businesses:
“If I had a mechanic or a dealership that treated me well, I would always, always ... be so loyal to that company.” — Tracy, [14:10]
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Hilarious Roleplay:
“Perhaps we could travel up to my flat and you could have a look under my hood.” — Burt, [26:23]
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Teen Confidence:
"I just think the fact that you are so confident to get out here and help other kids is awesome." — Jordan (caller), [41:13]
Important Segment Timestamps
- Car Industry Stereotypes, Dealer Tips & Scams:
[00:00–16:47] - Accent Challenge (UK Phone Calls):
[17:40–27:34] - Ask Annie (Teen Advice):
[27:41–41:50]
Tone and Show Signature
The cast keeps things real, supportive, and irreverent—cutting through serious topics with humor and accessibility. The “Ask Annie” segment stands out for showing the relatability across generations, and the car dealership discussion debunks myths while sneaking in actionable advice.
For New Listeners
If you’re new to The Bert Show, you’ll hear sharp, witty banter, practical life advice, and genuine earnestness about tackling everyday challenges—whether you’re buying a car, faking a British accent, or navigating middle school drama.