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Podcast Host
House of the Dragon is back and so is the official Podcast Join hosts Greta Johnson and Jason Concepcion on HBO Max's official House of the Dragon podcast as they break down every episode and speak with the show's writers, cast and crew members. It's an all out war in Westeros and you never know what to expect when battling with dragons. Watch the official Game of Thrones podcast House of the Dragon on HBO Max or listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Tracy
The Birch show the first Twilight came out last year, was it?
Melissa
And the second Twilight came out last year.
Tracy
Second Twilight. So what's coming out now? Number three.
Melissa
Three.
Tracy
Okay, so when the second one came out, remember that crazy British girl who watched the trailer online?
Wendy
She watched the trailer for New Moon.
Tracy
Yes, she watched the trailer for Number three.
Melissa
Oh fantastic. Is it just as good?
Tracy
Well, she goes on and on for several minutes. Josh was able to package it up in a nice little two minute clip that we can play here while Carl gets our thousand dollar winner. This is the. I wish I even knew her name. But she's British and she likes Twilight and she's very excited for number three coming to theaters.
British Twilight Fan
Hey guys, the eclipse trailer is online and I'm gonna watch it and I'm gonna react and I'm so freaking excited. It's unreal. If you don't like loud noises and you value your eardrums, it might be a good idea to turn the volume down or off or, you know, just don't watch. So yeah, gonna watch the video now. Oh my God, I can't wait. Wait. Full screen hd.
Erin
Isabella Swan, the mirror.
British Twilight Fan
Oh my God, it's the Moltres. Jesus. Hair in my mouth. Damn it.
Jill
I'm in love with you and I want you to.
Kathy
Oh my God, what's wrong with her hair?
Bert
You have to consider the idea that
Erin
I might be better for her than you are.
British Twilight Fan
No.
Kathy
No. Oh my God, it's amazing.
British Twilight Fan
I love it so much and seriously, I'm not even close to joking. It's amazing. It's out of this world. I love it. I'm going to watch it about another 5,000 times and then I still won't be bored. And then I'll keep watching it again and again and again and again and again and I will tell everybody that I know to watch it and that will annoy them. And then I'll end up with no friends. Except that. What happened? Because most of my friends are actually Twilight friends, which basically means that they love it as well, which basically means that we'll be annoying each other to watch it and asking questions about it in various stup things. So, yeah, also, if you happen to be a member of the cast and you meet me or have met me, I promise not to attack you. Love you loads.
Kathy
Bye.
Spin Quest Announcer
The Birch Show.
Tracy
Tracy did get that girl.
Melissa
Oh, she did?
Tracy
The woman whose husband bought Weird. The boob inserts for his daughter.
Melissa
Yeah, the cutlet. That's kind of gross.
Erin
I'm sorry, it's.
Tracy
Yep, she will be. I think she's on hold right now.
Melissa
Okay.
Katie
Oh, good.
Tracy
Just waiting for her name.
Wendy
She might have to have a fake name.
Melissa
Yeah. Jill.
Tracy
Voice disguiser.
Wendy
Voice disguiser. Well, yeah, her husband's buying boobies for the kid.
Erin
What?
Tracy
Good morning, Jill.
Ann
Hi.
Jill
Good morning.
Tracy
How are you?
Jill
I'm okay. How are you?
Wendy
Yeah.
Melissa
Curious to hear how this happened.
Jill
Okay, so basically my daughter's 13 and she went to go visit her dad a couple of weeks ago and when she came back, she, you know, showed me that he had taken her shopping and he bought her a bikini, which I thought the suit was a little skimpy for, you know, 13, but I was like, okay, you know, it was fine. But then later I was, you know, cleaning up in her room and I came across those, you know, inserts like the. I think they call them like chicken. They look like chicken cutlets.
Katie
Yeah.
Tracy
Yeah, that's what we called them.
Jill
Yeah. And you, you know, you put them in your bra to, you know, make it look like you have cleavage and anyway, as you can understand, I was incredibly upset. You know, I think that is unbelievably inappropriate for a 13 year old girl. You know, I mean, just, I don't know what, I don't know what my husband was thinking. And I, you know, I asked her about them and said, you know, where
Erin
did you get these?
Jill
And she said, oh, you know, daddy bought them for me. And it was just so upsetting and wrong on so many different levels. You know, I'm getting so angry again talking about it. So basically I, you know, I don't have any problem, you know, calling my husband and explaining to him that I think it was really wrong of him and inappropriate and that stuff like that in the future is just unacceptable. My problem is that I don't really know how to talk to my daughter because I know she's going to be upset because I could tell that she was, you know, she seemed embarrassed that I found the chicken cutlets, but I could tell she also was kind of excited about them because she, you know, she's, she's 13, so she's, you know, she's just now going into puberty. She's, she hasn't developed breasts yet. And I know a lot of the girls in her class have. So, you know, I'm sure she wants to, she wants to fit in and feel like she's, you know, she's growing her boobs too. But this is just, it's just, you know, 13 year old girls do not need to have cleavage. They're 13 for a reason. And you know, when you grow breasts, you grow breasts. And I just, I don't know how to explain it to my daughter without making her angry and, you know, without her making it seem like I'm the bad guy and daddy's the, you know, daddy's the one that understands. And one of the things is like, I do want to be clear that, you know, there wasn't anything creepy about my husband buying her these. You know, my daughter, she does this a lot with my ex. She, you know, she's sort of, you know, oh, daddy, and would you please, blah, blah, blah. And he, you know, he wants to make her happy and you know, he's kind of clueless about, you know, fashion and what's, you know, what's appropriate and what's not. So, you know, and I'm sure, you know, because what she often does is she'll say, oh, you know, mommy said that I could get this. You know, we've been in this situation before where she said, you know, Mommy said I could get this. So my husband, while it wasn't appropriate, you know, I just don't think he was really thinking when he did it, when he bought them for her, so.
Tracy
What? Yeah, because that was my first thought, that it was kind of creepy, odd, but looking at the phone.
Jill
Yeah, I don't want to paint my, I mean, I'm mad at my husband for buying them, but I don't want to paint him in that light at all.
Melissa
I feel like he was just the dad that's like, okay, if this is what you want. He's like, whatever. And especially since it's a, you know, divorce, he probably goes above and beyond for her. More so than normal.
Tracy
Hey, Erin, welcome to the bird show. You got some advice for Jill?
Erin
Yes. I was just gonna say that if
Bert
they don't want the daughter to have
Erin
the cutlets, she should make the dad
Caller
be the one to go back and take them away and explain to her
Erin
why they were not appropriate for a 13 year old.
Wendy
I think that's a good idea. Could you do that?
Jill
I think my daughter might die of embarrassment if I did that. Like, I mean, it's an idea. I don't know. I just, I know it would be incredibly embarrassing for my husband. And I think, I think, you know, my daughter might be a little mortified.
Tracy
It's not. And let me tell you why it's not a. Why it's not a good idea. Like, he didn't know in the first place not to buy this for her.
Jill
Exactly.
Tracy
You know what I'm saying? Like, he was unaware that she definitely manipulated her dad. Totally.
British Twilight Fan
Yeah.
Wendy
To get him what she wanted, she
Tracy
probably just went to the mall and, dad, guys don't want to be at the mall. Like, girls want to be at the mall. And she probably just blazed through whatever store or stores and said, I need this, I need this, I need this and I need this. I bet he didn't even look, you know what I'm saying? He's like, all right, whatever you want. Hey, Michelle, welcome to the bird show.
Erin
Hi. Yeah, I just wanted to. In the dad sense, I can completely understand. My mother and father were both married, but I would always go to my father when it came to certain things that I knew my mother, I felt like wouldn't understand. At 13. I think at 13, a lot of girls, we stuff our bras anyway. So I really don't see a big deal with the chicken cutlets because either if she takes them away, she's going to probably use the old sock method and steal stuff herself or with, you know, tissue or whatever to make herself look bigger. So it's a self esteem issue. And I think the real issue that the mother needs to find out is why didn't she feel comfortable enough to go to her mother in the first place to discuss this instead of going to her using her dad to cover it up?
Katie
Well, because she knew her mom wouldn't buy them.
Erin
Yeah, but it's a self esteem issue. I mean, it's deeper than. Okay, well, I just want to, you know, I want to go get chicken cutlets. But why didn't she feel comfortable enough to go to mom and say, hey, you know, I'm still, you know, I'm still flat chested. The other girls are developing now, what can we do about this? Because if you take away the chicken coverlets, that's not going to stop her from stuffing her breasts.
Melissa
Right?
Katie
Well, she's 13 years old. I mean I wouldn't have talked to my girlfriend.
Erin
I think most girls stuff their breasts with something might not be in chin cuts, but you're gonna, I mean you do something to make yourself look better at that age.
Melissa
Well, I think it's a, it's, she's manipulating both par because I guarantee if they were still together the dad would probably say, you know what, this is for your mom. I don't want to do this. You know what I mean? He was kind of forced in that situation.
Tracy
Now isn't it like just from a guy's point of view if a 13 year old boy got stuff like caught stuff in his pants, you know what I mean?
Melissa
Or mom bought him something to stuff his pants with?
Tracy
No, I mean just regardless of what he put in there and got caught at school, he would be ripped on through the. I mean he would go to college in a different country.
Wendy
No, it's not really the same thing. It's hard to make the comparison to a boy because I don't think boys have the same.
Melissa
Well with girls, you know, eventually you're gonna get to that point or you hope you eventually get to that point rather than at, you know, 13. That's not, that's not the end of it.
Tracy
Hey Ann, welcome to the bird show. You're on with Jill.
Ann
Hey, good morning. I have a daughter that is in seventh grade and she has a classmate that got caught wearing the inserts and the kind that she was wearing. Not my daughter now because I would never. I don't agree with that. At seventh grade it's just uncalled for. But this classmate had the jelly inserts and her classmates found out about it and so now they've nicknamed this little girl Jelly. It is doing more harm than good for sure because all the kids, they're in seventh grade. It's going to stick with that kid forever.
Melissa
Now that's true.
Wendy
Well, seventh grade girls are mean or hateful.
Melissa
Well, you say that, but when I was in sixth grade, it was the girl that became endowed before everybody else that people made fun of and she couldn't help it. Like it's. Unfortunately not all girls develop at the Same rate or even to the same point. And you know they're going to get crap regardless.
Tracy
But I feel like we're arguing the wrong point. Yeah, this feels so weird to me because I feel like I'm about to argue, like, the women's lib point or whatever, but we're arguing how embarrassed she would be to have those in, like, if she got caught. When the reality isn't a lesson that should be taught. Love your own body thing. Like, you'll get moves eventually.
Wendy
Definitely.
Melissa
Absolutely.
Wendy
Definitely. But I think that that's just being a teenage girl. I think, like Wendy said, She's 13. She's gonna want what she wants. And there's nothing more important than fitting in when you're that age, you know?
Melissa
And I think everybody's bringing a point because the mother wants advice on how to approach her daughter about this. And I think everybody's just trying to come from the standpoint of the daughter of where her mind is amongst, you know, with all this. Hey, but I appreciate your effort, Jeff.
Tracy
Thanks. Hey, Jill, tell us where you are with your daughter. Does she know that you've found these? I can't remember if you've told us yet.
Ann
Yes.
Jill
I mean, because I asked her, you know, I said, where did you get these? And she told me.
Tracy
Oh, yeah, okay.
Jill
That daddy bought them.
Tracy
Okay. But you have not said anything further, like you can never wear them again or.
Jill
Well, I did take them away from her.
Melissa
Yeah, you did. Okay.
Tracy
Hey, Kathy, welcome to the bird show.
Kathy
Hey, Bert Show. I love you guys.
Tracy
Thank you.
Kathy
Just a quick comment. The little girl is 13 years old, and, yes, she is a teenager and she's becoming a woman and all. But the whole problem here, I think, is she's getting away with manipulating her parents. I think that definitely needs to be addressed. And she's 13, and there's life lessons to learn, and this is a huge life lesson. You can't always get what you want by manipulating people.
Melissa
Well, and she's a part of divorce. Do you find that, Jill, do you think that you and your ex husband are a little more lenient on her because you. Because of the divorce?
Jill
Well, I mean, yeah, of course there's, you know, we both have guilt issues there. And, you know, we do try to get her or give her anything that she wants, you know, within reason. So, you know, there's definitely that element there.
Kathy
And can I just say that my daughter also was a product of a divorce, but the good thing is she still has two very loving and caring parents that are very active in their life. It's not like one has to overcompensate for the other one not being there. So she needs to learn that divorce is part of life. As much as you hate to see it happen and have children, go through it, you need to work together, not manipulate, not having this little girl manipulate one against the other to get what she wants. I mean, you don't always get what you want. She needs to learn that she cannot continue to do this.
Wendy
I would agree with that. And I would also say that I think the same message that you can send to your daughter and that your husband can or ex husband can send to your, your daughter is that she's beautiful just the way she is and that she doesn't need those kind of things. And, and maybe that's the way you approach it and talk to her about it and have, have your ex do the exact same thing. Because I think as uncomfortable as a conversation as that would be for him to have with her, I think it's important for him to reinforce it as well. And it's not just like, oh, mom's just saying that because she took him away from me, you know, that it's both of you sending that same message like, listen, honey, you're beautiful just as you are. You don't need this kind of thing.
Melissa
Yeah. You have to be on the same page as parents, divorced or not. You have to. Or any kid's gonna naturally do that, you know.
Tracy
Will you, after you have the talk with your daughter, will you please shoot Tracy an email and let us know how it went?
Jill
Yes, absolutely. And thank you. This was really helpful. I got to feel much calmer.
Wendy
And then you could probably coach producer T.R. her husband Scott, because I'm certain that their daughter's already doing it too.
Tracy
Asking for breast implants.
Wendy
No, manipulating them.
Tracy
The Bird show hey everybody.
Lady Luck
Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on fin quest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble crafts. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.
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British Twilight Fan
What's up?
Bert
Hey, Slowly but surely getting back on the regular schedule.
Tracy
You look almost coherent and stuff.
Bert
Yeah, I didn't take a painkiller this morning. So I'm gonna be a real. In about an hour.
Tracy
Why have you.
Katie
How's me feeling?
Tracy
It looks like you have less apparatus on it than you've had last week.
Bert
I think it's about the same.
Melissa
Right.
Bert
I had this thing on.
Melissa
It's the same brace, but, I mean,
Tracy
it seems like it was Ratmore Burt, by the way, had knee surgery. Not last Thursday, a week ago Thursday. And proudly declared, I'll be in on Monday. I might be a little late. And by a little late, he meant seven days.
Bert
Well, I was basing it on the first knee surgery, the left one. And I can't even remember how many days I took off for that one. But this knee, the right knee, turned out to be a lot worse than the left one. And the pain on this one has just been so much more. I don't know if I'm just getting softer as I get older or. Tom was saying that the meniscus was a real problem because it tore in half. So there are pins in there. And when do you repeat that sentence?
Katie
Right now, because I have no idea what you just said. I don't want to.
Bert
So at the end of the day, this one was worse because the ACL was ripped from the femur. And the meniscus, Wendy. Just completely cut in two like this and was dangling between two bones. Just like this.
Melissa
Just like that.
Katie
My eyes are close.
Wendy
Can you tell everybody how to avoid this surgery?
Ann
Yeah.
Tracy
Don't start playing soccer when you're 50.
Melissa
Not 50, Joe.
Tracy
Sorry.
Bert
No, not really. I mean, if you play any kind of cutting sport, you're gonna be susceptible to a knee injury.
Wendy
What's a cutting sport?
Bert
You know, like volleyball, basketball, tennis.
Tracy
Where do you have.
Melissa
Side to side? Yeah.
Wendy
Okay.
Bert
You know, chances are fairly good if you're playing golf, you got a better chance of not doing this.
Melissa
Yeah. The knees don't seem to really, really be built for side to side.
Bert
No, not really.
Melissa
Yeah.
Bert
Now, the way the knee is built, it's so complicated in there, and so many things can go wrong. But some people go their whole lives playing soccer and never have an injury, which impresses me to no end.
Tracy
Well, some people start playing soccer at age five. You started playing at over 40. And that's kind of.
Bert
And even now, I'm not bummed that I tried it, you know? I mean, what are you gonna do? I mean, it looked like it was gonna be fun, and I had fun for three games.
Wendy
You're not going back, though, are you?
Bert
I'm pretty sure I'm not going back.
Tracy
Retired.
Wendy
I think Stacy might have something to say about that.
Bert
I think it was a short, fruitless career. 03. No goals, no assists, no wins.
Katie
What about any sports then? Are you going to go back to sports in general?
Melissa
Yeah.
Bert
Melissa and I were talking about this on Saturday night. I don't know what to go and play. The thing about soccer that was so cool is that it was physical, you know, and you could really get beat up and do some beating up, too.
British Twilight Fan
And.
Melissa
Well, Burr likes competition. I keep telling him that because Katie's had this surgery, and one of the things that she had to change was forward motion. Sports with forward. So she can still run, she can still bike, she. You know, anything. But she can't do soccer. Shouldn't be doing tennis, even though we do tennis a little bit. But, I mean, there's competitive sports out there where you just. It's just forward motion and your knee will be fine.
Wendy
How about, like, rowing? Because then you just sit and then use your arms.
Bert
Where am I gonna go Chattahoochee to do competitive rowing?
Wendy
Yeah. I mean, that would keep you off crutches.
Tracy
Hey, I'm not. Look, I'm not buying into this nonsense that you guys have been saying.
Katie
Curling.
Tracy
But curling does sound like a safe option.
Bert
And if I started curling today, I could be the best in the United States. In five days.
Lady Luck
Hell, yeah.
Bert
Because there's only three people playing.
Tracy
And the good thing is, if you do damage your knee, all you'd have to do is kneel down and you're icing it.
Kathy
Right.
Bert
And you would have to make up such a great excuse. Cause if you jacked up your kn. You'd have to make up a million different excuses, really, what happened?
Wendy
It would have to be. You got attacked.
Tracy
So it's better.
Bert
It's getting better every day. And I'm taking less painkillers every day. It's just. It's tiring. Like, I don't think people know the process. It's just tiring because you have to
Katie
stay off of it for what, six weeks?
Bert
Yeah.
Tracy
So what did you do this weekend?
Melissa
Are exhausting.
Tracy
Were you even able to leave the house on that nice Saturday or anything?
Bert
Saturday night, Melissa and I went up to the bidets the BBA family's house for dinner. But I was so beat at the end of that thing. And outside of that, Seriously, Jeff, it's been same position on the couch for seven days. Just watching basketball, working on the computer.
Tracy
Is your marriage stronger than ever? Or is one of you calling Evan, poor little thing.
Bert
Stacy's not only catering to the kids now. Now she's catering to me also. And I could see she's just at the end, you know, it's a lot of work for her. So I'm glad I'm to a point where I can start getting back to work. It's probably best for the whole family.
Tracy
And you got the diaper off, so that's cool.
Bert
The diaper?
Tracy
Yeah. Didn't you have to wear a diaper for your first three days on the couch?
Bert
I dreamt that.
Melissa
Yeah, he just wears that. That's just at the bars. That's not.
Katie
When he.
Melissa
That's not anything. That was, you know, drinking nights.
Bert
I have not peed standing up in seven days, though.
Katie
Save that.
British Twilight Fan
Yeah,
Bert
that will take the dignity right out from underneath you.
Wendy
That's embarrassing.
Melissa
So you're not more sympathetic to those that sit and pee?
Bert
No, it's. It would definitely not be an option for me.
Erin
It's.
Bert
It really takes the manhood right away from you.
Tracy
Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's awkward.
Bert
So that's where it's at, man. I mean, every day I'm going to try to come in a little bit earlier and just try to get back into the swing of things.
Tracy
So are you sleeping through the night?
Bert
No.
Katie
No, not at all.
Melissa
It's uncomfortable.
Bert
It's uncomfortable because you have to keep your knee up. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it is what it is at this point.
Melissa
Yeah.
Wendy
What's the countdown till this is done?
Bert
They said four weeks in the brace or six weeks in the brace, depending on how it goes. I mean, on crutches, and then another four weeks in the brace. I can't put any pressure on it whatsoever.
Katie
Whoa.
Bert
Yeah.
Tracy
Well, for whatever reason, everybody's calling up not to say welcome back, but to make you feel better about the injury you have.
Bert
Oh, good.
Melissa
Okay.
Tracy
Wendy, you may want to go for a walk.
Bert
Oh, these are fun.
Melissa
Okay.
Tracy
Hey, Jeannie.
Erin
Good morning, everyone.
Tracy
What's going on?
Erin
Just want to tell Bert that my
Caller
son had the same injury from playing
Erin
football, except his kneecap also popped in half.
Katie
So not only do you have kneecap.
Melissa
Wow. Thanks for repeating.
British Twilight Fan
Wow.
Tracy
Hey, Brittany. What's going on?
Kathy
Oh, not much. I just wanted to let you know if you want to do lightweight leg extension and leg curls on a machine, it'll totally get your hamstrings and your
Erin
quads stronger, and you'll recover a lot quicker.
Bert
Yeah, I've already gone to physical therapy a couple of times. They don't want you laying up on this thing at all. In fact, my physical therapist wanted me in the day after the surgery and I said I'll wait till Monday. So I've seen him twice already, but they're already working on it.
Tracy
Who are you going to hate more, Dolvett or your physical therapist?
Bert
It will be Mark Wentworth. My physical therapist.
Tracy
Okay.
Melissa
First and last name.
Bert
I already refer to him as Diablo to my wife.
Tracy
Bert famously hates any trainer he has because they try to hurt him.
Kathy
Right.
Tracy
Knowing that's their job. Right?
Bert
Yeah.
Tracy
No pain, no gain. Hey, Moynya, is Monyer, right? That's what I was about to say.
Erin
Yeah, exactly. Well, I just wanted to say I think either Jen or Melissa asked what you can do to prevent from this. Really nothing. When I was like 17, 18, within a matter of a year and a half, I had both of my meniscus like ripped, like Bert was saying. And I wasn't playing any football. In fact, one time I tried to get on like a step ladder, try to take two steps at the same time. It ripped. The second time I was just turning to the left and it ripped. So it was not even sports. It was just regular day to day things. And I don't think you can do anything. Either it rips or it doesn't.
Bert
Yeah, there are some people that are just more prone to this kind of thing than other people are.
Melissa
Well, it's good to know that we're all together in this, that we all can rip our meniscus too.
Bert
You know, it's been such a hassle.
Tracy
Everybody rip your meniscus.
Bert
It's been such a hassle. Just be, you know, hobbling on one leg that I remember the other day when I was working in Washington D.C. the host of the show, his wife went out and tried inline skating one day with their kids. And the very first time she went out, she fell backwards and she busted both legs and both wrists.
Wendy
Oh, God.
Bert
So for six months she couldn't do anything. And that was her very first time trying inline skating. So one leg is nothing compared to that. I mean, she literally. They had to bring a nurse in to wipe her butt to do everything.
Wendy
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Melissa
I'd like to wipe my own butt from
Wendy
horrible.
Tracy
Well, anyways, good to have you back. Even if it's only for half the show. It's good that you're starting to hobble every day.
Bert
Hopefully a little earlier and then I'll be able to be back in the driver's seat.
Spin Quest Announcer
Hey, the bird show.
Tracy
Hey, everybody.
Lady Luck
Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.
Spin Quest Announcer
Spin Quest is a free to play social casino, Boyd. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The third show Melissa?
Melissa
Yes.
Tracy
You have to tell Bert what you're doing.
Melissa
I know.
Wendy
I have to tell Dr. Oz what you're doing.
Melissa
I know we talked a little bit about it on Saturday, but I, for those who have not heard yet, Katie and I are freezing my eggs and I say freezing my eggs are actually freezing embryos this week.
Bert
You really are gonna have to speak to me as though I am a sixth grader when it comes to any of this because we had this conversation on Saturday night and I gotta be honest with you.
Melissa
Yeah.
Bert
Outside of how do I put this lightly, what to touch, I really don't know a lot about female anatomy. How do women's bodies work in this way?
Melissa
Right. All right. Well, every month women produce a natural hormone that causes one ovary to make an egg. Because I also learned through this process, the eggs were not already created, which I thought, so even women, even women don't know their own bodies. But it's a natural hormone that one ovary creates an egg and then pops it out and you have your cycle or you get pregnant. So what I'm doing is for the past six weeks, they have slowly built up my hormone level of that natural hormone in others that has allowed both ovaries to decide to make multiple eggs. So then what's gonna happen this week is they are going to go and retrieve those eggs. They're going to mix them with the sperm that we have received from the donor and then they're going to see which ones start splitting, as in, you know, start growing. Then they're going to put them in the freezer and stop the process.
Bert
And all this is happening like a little petri dish.
Melissa
Yes. The fascinating thing is that it's very sci fi, which of course I love. But it's like this. It's a scientist in a lab that is going to put the and see and then put them in the freezer. So I was teasing with them today because I have really not felt very many effects of the hormones. One hormone did make me cry, but I'm not on that as much as I Was so I'm not in a crying mood or emotional mood anymore. But I. But the fact that both ovaries are producing a lot of eggs, you know, they're growing. My ovaries are bigger than normal. And so I'm incredibly, I feel incredibly bloated and huge today. So I. Melissa's been leaning back in her chair like it's pulling shirt down,
Bert
like, oh my God, like grandpa at Thanksgiving dinner.
Tracy
You know, like you just polished off enough turkey for four men.
Melissa
And it started last night because I have to give myself shots for these hormones come in a syringe. So I have to give myself shots every night. So last night after that shot, well, about an hour or so after that, as my estrogen levels and everything, where
Tracy
you have to give yourself the shot in my stomach.
Bert
Yeah, she told me.
Melissa
Yeah. So. But yeah, so last night Katie was laughing at me because I was just like laying on the couch and it was, you know, just like one of, you know, really, you know, tough cycle. So anyway, but other than that, I've been very fortunate. And it may not end up in anything because when they go to retrieve some of the eggs may not even take to the sperm. And it may not produce any egg, you know, any embryos whatsoever. But we're hoping that it will.
Wendy
And the obvious question from the outside looking in is why not just implant them and have a baby?
Melissa
Because I am not ready to have a baby. Yeah. Katie and I are not financially or time wise ready. But because I am 40 now and because I am a transplant recipient in case something happens, in case I have to go on dialysis again, we wanted to have this option.
Wendy
So that's what I'm doing. I knew the answer to that, but that's the question.
Melissa
Now I tease them. If we do get embryos in the freezer this week, I do expect, you know, a Mother's day card in May for my ice cubes, you know, but because I get something kind of a mom halfway. A mom.
Tracy
Yeah. One Mother's day card or several.
Melissa
It depends on how many I will know by the end of the week how many embryos are in the freezer.
Katie
It could be 20.
Melissa
So it could be 20, it could be one, it could be three. You know, they don't know.
Tracy
Now if you have 20 and you only use one or two, can we give the others away to call her 100?
Melissa
We'll create some kind of contest.
Bert
You could win Justin Bieber tickets or Melissa's eggs.
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Tracy
I'm excited because the first time he was out with us, I wasn't here. I actually think I was out sick.
Melissa
Oh, that's right. Oddly enough.
Tracy
But everybody in here has been raving about it. Dr. Oz, back on the bird show. Hey, Dr. Oz.
Dr. Oz
Good morning, Bert. Good to finally meet you.
Tracy
Bert's in the back of the room, laid up with a bum knee.
Bert
Yeah, we've got a lot of things to run by you today, man. Since the last time we talked to you. I ripped my ACL and my meniscus. Jen Hobby here has had a cold for the last 10 days that she can't shake also. So you're talking about a morning show that's operating at about 78% right now.
Wendy
No kidding.
Dr. Oz
And what's your copay like?
Tracy
Yeah, this is a good day to be talking to you because of the health care reform that passed last night. Have you commented publicly on whether you're a fan of this or would like to see it done differently?
Dr. Oz
Well, I'm not gonna get into the actual bill itself, and it's understandably controversial because it's got so many different aspects to it that could please or displease folks. But I gotta say, I don't think any healthcare bill is gonna work long term unless we're able to change the health of. Because, you know, we're fighting about a health care bill, but it's the care of health that we've sort of lost sight of, I think. And obesity being a good example, if we're unable to affect something that changes maybe 15, 20% of the healthcare bill like obesity does, none of these bills are going to be able to make us solvent because they all go bankrupt at the end of the day. And I think it's a much more profound challenge we have in America than how we're going to pay for the insurance is how to make it so that people aren't sick so they don't need the insurance.
Melissa
I agree with that.
Tracy
Hey, Dr. Oz, we're gonna get right to the questions. Cause these are great. Okay, the first one, they didn't put their name up. Either they're trying to remain anonymous or it was just forgotten about. But they think they become alcohol intolerant.
Erin
Hello?
Tracy
Hey, are you there?
Dr. Oz
They become alcohol intolerant, and that's a
Bert
problem or not a problem.
Dr. Oz
Well, alcohol tolerance, as you know, happens because your liver starts to metabolize the alcohol more effectively so you can drink more than you could before. There are some. Some genders that have more difficulty than others. Women, often, because they lack an enzyme in their stomach are unable to drink as much as men can because more of the alcohol gets into their bloodstream. And people who are from Asia lack an enzyme to clear the alcohol in their liver, so they actually have double indemnity. That's why Asian women really have a lot of problem with alcohol. But people who become alcohol intolerant, usually having allergies to alcohol. I suspect that's what they're asking about. And that's because we have a lot of tannins, a lot of sulfates and preservatives and alcohol. So just be careful. Pick the better stuff. The clear alcohols are generally better for you, like the vodkas and the gins. They give you less of a hangover.
Katie
Oh, that's good to know.
Tracy
Do you have any follow up questions to that?
Caller
Yeah, actually I just finished like three months of gastro testing because of course
Erin
this was sort of like. Was it acid reflux?
Caller
Because the only problem I'm having is at night. I can drink during the day, but when I drink at night, I get very nauseous about two hours into my sleep. It wakes me up and I get up and I'm so, so nauseous that I don't want to drink. I mean, that's how bad it is. Most people can kind of, you know, deal with it, but it's so bad I can't.
Dr. Oz
Well, it's an interesting point you make because alcohol, people think it helps you sleep. It's the opposite. It messes up your sleep. And as we get older and our sleep patterns become more susceptible to change, many of us will have more difficulty mixing alcohol and sleep. So that nausea may not just be the pure alcohol. It may have been that you had the nausea even when you were younger, but you were able to sleep through it. But something obviously not agreeing with you. But I would be cautious about what alcohol is causing the problem. Do that little experiment on yourself and try using the clear alcohols. They may help you with a little bit of the allergies that occur.
Bert
I don't have a diploma on the wall or anything. And I would just say drink in the afternoon then, right?
Dr. Oz
That's the obvious.
Bert
Well, since that's not an option yet.
Tracy
Hey, Dr. Oz, we've all had a great time passing around the same sinus flu y cold thing here in the studio. And we think it's finally wrapping itself up. But many of us have fell in love during the process with the neti pot.
Dr. Oz
Yeah.
Tracy
Is that, is there a danger? Because the recommendation on the box is you know, to do it every day or every week. But the recommendation on a shampoo bottle is to shampoo your hair twice. Is it healthy to neti pot when you are healthy?
Dr. Oz
Yes. Neti pot is one of the godsends, I think, that we have forgotten about just the way we brush our teeth and helps our dental hygiene. You should be taking care of our noses and our sinuses the exact same way. And you can wash your sinuses and noses out twice a day without difficulty, even when you're healthy. For most people, that's sort of a hassle. They don't do it. But you, I could see doing it when I'm healthy in the neti pot a couple times a week. It gives you sort of a high anyway. But if you're fearful of getting allergies or sinus infections, for sure, prophylactically, you ought to be using it every day, at least until the rest of the office clears the illness. Anyone who's in the office now who's not sick yet, start using your neti pot.
Melissa
Yeah, because I have used the neti pot before these guys did, and it does curb the allergies. But, yeah, I think a lot of people don't realize you use the neti pot when you're healthy. Not you. You don't wait until you get a sinus infection to use it.
Wendy
When you do, it clears it out.
Tracy
If you haven't seen the commercials, the neti pot is basically pouring a saline water into your sinuses and letting it drain out. And, man, is it a good feeling when it works.
Dr. Oz
It works. Well, folks, I need to run to Houston. They're calling me.
Tracy
Oh, that's quick.
Dr. Oz
I know, but I miss you and I'd love to come back and visit with you.
Lady Luck
Absolutely.
Tracy
Yeah, we definitely have to get you rescheduled because you're a hitman. Everybody, everybody, phones are lit up. Everybody wants to talk to you.
Dr. Oz
Well, you're very kind. You know, the Drost.com site's based in Atlanta, so I come down there quite frequently. I'll come in person.
Tracy
Oh, definitely. We'll see you here in studio.
Dr. Oz
All right, guys, take care.
Tracy
Thanks, Dr. Oz. Have a great day.
Dr. Oz
Stay well.
Tracy
It's 8:34 on the bird show. I know. We could talk to him for an hour. I didn't even get to Wendy, who's, you know, Melissa was joking. Like Dr. Oz being a real surgeon or whatever. I didn't even get to Wendy, whose Dr. Oz performed surgery on her mom.
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Lady Luck
Hey, guys.
Katie
Lady luck here.
Lady Luck
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Bert
The update on Hayden. Hayden got a call last week to do an on camera interview to have a part in this new Owen Wilson movie that has been shooting around Atlanta. And it was an audition and they really, they said, look, it's just, it's just the perfect storm for him right now because one of the actors in the movie, Hayden looks like him as a kid. So as this guy gets older, Hayden could be this guy as an adult. So we need a younger version of this adult. So why don't you bring him in and we'll put him on camera for a couple of minutes and we'll see if the producer likes him or not. Which would have been a huge coup because he's never done anything except, you know, on stage stuff. And he's only been doing that for about a year now here around Atlanta.
Tracy
What was that? The Seussical? Wasn't that what he was in? Excuse. What a leap to go from Seussical
Bert
to an Owen Wilson movie. So we got him an agent and they booked him this audition and a couple of weeks ago he went down and he literally was in their office for one minute. He comes in, they turn the camera on, they say, what's your name? He says, hayden Weiss. They say, what color are your eyes? He says they are blue. And they say, thank you very much, Hayden. That was great. And then he leaves the office.
Wendy
Not wasting any time.
Bert
Not wasting any time. I don't think it really had much to do with talent. I think it just had to do with anything. How closely does Hayden look to this adult actor?
Wendy
And he wants to be an actor so badly. So what did he think of the whole experience?
Bert
He's so notch a lot about things. Like I think his parents are way more excited about it than he is. So he seems to like the whole process but, you know, he's just not, I don't know, he's not as excited.
Wendy
He doesn't get nervous in front of the camera or say, daddy, I don't want to go no, because some kids will, like, talk a big game and then they sort of freak out at the moment.
Tracy
You know, Hayden, he's a performer, man.
Bert
Well, right before he has to do anything, he gets a little freaked out. Like, he's confident, confident, confident. And then right before the lights go on, he gets a little freaked out. Then the lights go on, and he's fine. So I think the same thing happened with this audition.
Tracy
And the little jaeger bombs have helped him calm down, too, right?
Bert
Totally, man.
Tracy
15 minutes before he's got to be on stage.
Wendy
I love it how you created that. My little jaeger bomb.
Bert
The funnel.
Wendy
How about the little.
Bert
My little funnel?
Tracy
You know, before you get freaked out, it's not.
Melissa
People are going to believe you.
Tracy
It's not a full jaeger bomb. It's actually a shot glass and a thimble. So it's smaller because Hayden is obviously smaller. So we're.
Bert
Yeah, let's not be crazy.
Wendy
It's cute.
Bert
So we got the call. We got the call a couple of days ago that they gave the part to somebody else. Oh, bummer. Which allowed us because remember what I said when this whole thing started that with acting, I just want this to be Hayden's sports. So he's gonna have to enjoy the successes and he's gonna have to learn how to deal with the disappointments. So I was actually looking forward to having to have the talk with him that he didn't get the part because he doesn't understand, you know?
Tracy
Have you told him? He knows now.
Bert
Yeah.
Katie
Yeah.
Bert
Stacey brought him, and I brought him. We talked about it a couple days ago and just said, look, we were very blunt about it. Like, we just want to let you know that, first of all, it was huge honor that you were even selected. And in the acting world, for every, like, 10 or 15 auditions that you go on, you'll get a part. So don't think you fail every single time. But no, you didn't get the part this time around. And I could tell he was a little bit like, what? I didn't even know that was really an option. We told him that they gave it to somebody else, and again, we told him that you're not gonna get every part. And it really probably had very little to do with his acting ability. And just it was based on looks, and he just doesn't. This other kid might have looked a little bit more like the adult.
Tracy
Can you promise me?
Wendy
Do you think that's the first time he's dealt with rejection?
Bert
I could see it in his eyes. And as a parent, you want to embrace, but you also want them to have to absorb it and learn how to deal with it, you know, and his. His disappointment, a 7 year old's disappointment lasts 40 seconds and then he's on to something else. On to something else.
Tracy
Can you promise me that when you. When that movie comes out in theaters and you and Stacy go to it, that you will record the conversation you have immediately after the movie, talking about the little punk that they put in Hayden's place.
Bert
Interviewing Hayden about the kid that got the.
Dr. Oz
That's.
Tracy
I want to hear Hayden's review of
Katie
or of that kid.
Bert
So he didn't get the part, but he seemed okay with it.
Tracy
Will you bring us up to date on your TV show?
Bert
I don't have an update. The last I heard from Princess, she was upset at me because I accidentally told who the players were on the air that day. And you guys heard me off the air going, I'm so sorry. You didn't tell me. I wasn't allowed to talk about it and I haven't heard a thing since. So I don't know.
Tracy
I thought that. I thought it was. I wasn't there then. I don't remember that call.
Bert
You weren't here that day.
Melissa
Oh, well, that was. Yeah, I mean, it was basically what Bert said is, I mean, he was talking about the party that y' all went to to meet other cast members or potential cast members. And he was just talking about the party and a couple names came out that he didn't realize were undercover. And so Princess, are they different than
Tracy
the ones you had brought up before? Because she didn't seem to care before.
Bert
Yeah, some of them we had not talked about before. And they, they just got us in sort of a restaurant atmosphere just to hang out to see if there was some chemistry between all of us. And the night went great. It was fantastic. All the dudes got along and everything went great. So I came on the air the next day and I started naming who the other cast members were. Halfway through the conversation, I get a text from her saying, I'm not listening right now, but please don't mention who the other cast members are. So it was too late at that point, and I haven't really heard from her since. I apologized afterwards. She said, you know, it's okay. I understand you made a mistake, but I haven't heard anything about the show since.
Tracy
Well, Bert, what's important to remember is for every 10 or 15 auditions you go out for, you'll only get one or two jobs. So this is not a failure. And I can see in your eyes, this is the first time you've ever dealt with rejection.
Bert
Yeah, it hurt.
Katie
It hurt.
Bert
It really, really hurt a lot. So I don't know.
Melissa
As soon as I want to embrace you right now, you want to embrace
Bert
me, but you want me to sit in my disappointment?
Melissa
Right now we need you to be able to adapt and handle and deal with it on your own, too.
Tracy
You need to understand that this is just part of what you're doing.
Bert
Right?
Tracy
And you'll. You know what? It'll all make sense when you're older.
Wendy
Are you having fun?
Bert
Can we play? Can we watch now?
Wendy
Yes.
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Tracy
Hey everybody.
Lady Luck
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This episode of The Bert Show brings listeners inside the lives, laughs, and dramas of the full cast. The team tackles real-life issues sent in by listeners, shares updates from their personal lives, and welcomes Dr. Oz for candid health discussions. Topics range from parenting dilemmas and body image to fertility journeys, sports injuries, and the harsh realities of rejection in the entertainment world—all told with signature wit, warmth, and camaraderie.
[01:16–03:06]
[03:08–15:06]
[15:44–24:08]
[24:46–28:32]
[28:39–34:45]
[35:21–41:30]
If you missed the episode, expect genuine conversations about growing up, letting go, and moving forward—whether you’re a parent, a patient, or just someone trying to make sense of life’s curveballs.