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Melissa
Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?
Lowe's Announcer
Really? I can get super specific with dealer
Holly Madison
listings and see cars based on my budget.
Melissa
You can really have it delivered or pick it up.
Wendy
I think kid is walking up the slide.
Rachel
Really?
Holly Madison
Autotrader.
Rachel
Buy your car online.
Lowe's Announcer
Really?
Show Host
The Birch Show.
Jeff
Okay, Nicole, you're on the voice disguiser. How are you this morning?
Rachel
I'm good. How are you doing?
Wendy
Okay.
Jeff
So you found some car payments to a car that's not the family's?
Rachel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, a couple days ago. And I'm kind of embarrassed to say that I don't know anything about the finances in my family.
Melissa
Okay.
Rachel
You know, I have a job. My husband works. I get my check. I know what taxes are taking out and stuff like that. But as far as the bill paying and our statements and our investments and stuff like that, and we're not, you know, you know, when I say investments, we're not healthy by any stretch of the imagination. But he does everything. And we've been married for eight years. And I just. I just. It's always been like that. And I have no problem with it. You know, I get my money when I want money. I've never, you know, I'm able to do whatever. We talk about things, but he just basically does all of the bill keeping and. I don't know, a couple days ago around Thanksgiving, I was thinking about the fact that I don't know what's going on. And I just had some time the other day, and I went online and he's got all the passwords to, like, all the different accounts in a book.
Kelly
You went nosing around in your own finances?
Rachel
I did.
Holly Madison
I went nosing.
Rachel
I did. And anyway, I'm looking through stuff and I saw this payment for, like, $500 for. And it's a car payment. And I only know it's a car payment because it said something like some kind of Honda. And what freaked me out is that we don't have a new car. I have a car. He's got a car. I've got, like they're both two years old, like Ford and Toyota cars. And we paid them off. And I'm kind of freaking out a little bit. I haven't said anything to him.
Kelly
Does anybody in his small circle have a new car?
Rachel
No. And like, I was thinking about family, friends, and then, I don't know, I was thinking maybe it could be like a Christmas present or something, but it's literally been for almost a year.
Holly Madison
Huh.
Jeff
That would shake you up a little bit. So what, what, I mean, what are you really thinking is going on? What's your worst fear?
Rachel
Well, my worst fear is it's someone that I don't know and that I've never. I've trust my husband completely and we don't have any problems, no issues, no nothing. And you know, I told a dear girlfriend of mine, she was like, well, do you think it's, you know, he's paying for someone's car like, you know, like another woman? And I didn't. That doesn't even cross my mind.
Jeff
404-741-Q100.
Wendy
Now, were either of you married previously? No, before that. Okay, before with each other and then what about children? You guys have children or did he have children from a previous relationship?
Rachel
No, no children. And he doesn't have children from a previous relationship or anything? No, you don't.
Jeff
I'm just trying. I'm just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and just throwing
Wendy
a whole bunch of.
Liz
Could it be one of his parents cars or one of your parents cars?
Rachel
I don't think so. I mean, you know, everybody is fine. We've all got our own cars. No, it's never an issue. It never comes up. I just can't really. I'm like, really. You know, I just don't know who it could be. And I haven't said anything to him because I don't know. I guess, I don't know.
Jeff
This is gonna be the weekend. This will be the weekend. You say something to him?
Rachel
Yeah, I kind of want to. I mean, I've been busy. He's been busy and literally he's been traveling. So he gets back tonight and you know, we've talked on the phone a couple times, but I just want to talk to him this weekend. But I just don't know what to say.
Jeff
It's amazing how many things that you can consider busy work when you really don't want to have a conversation. Yeah, I got to eat.
Wendy
She wants to have that convers in person, not over the phone, right?
Rachel
Oh, yeah, no, I didn't want to say anything to him over the phone. I couldn't. You know, I want to see him and, you know, but I'm kind of. I don't know. I'm freaking out a little bit from
Jeff
time to time you hear this. And it always, always surprises me that, like, when a guy has another apartment that he's got a girlfriend in that the wife had no idea or is buying cars. I think like in the Steve McNair case, he had apartments and he had cars for another woman, and the wife never had any idea whatso you know.
Melissa
But I still want to hope that's not the case.
Jeff
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kelly
What would it. Did you say how much the payments?
Rachel
It's like 500. It's actually $502.
Kelly
502.
Rachel
And that's a lot of money. You know, It's a lot of money. And that's not a cheap car, right?
Kelly
Is it.
Melissa
Does it not explain. Does that what you're looking at? It doesn't show where the payments are going to or what car it is?
Rachel
No, I don't have it in front of me now, but it was a Honda. It said something about Honda. Okay.
Jeff
Good morning, Rachel. You're on Q100.
Holly Madison
Yeah, I was just wondering if. Because Honda sells things other than cars, is she sure that it's not like an ATV or, you know, anything like that? Because, yeah, that's a kind of an expensive payment, but if he only financed it for like two years, then his
Laura
payment could be $500.
Jeff
Does any of that ring true with you?
Rachel
Not really. No.
Holly Madison
No.
Wendy
Do they do like Honda does, like, motorcycles and stuff?
Kelly
It doesn't even. I'm almost wondering if Honda has a finance like you can finance. Maybe. I don't know anymore, but, like, there is a time where you could finance things through General Electric. General Electric had a finance arm, so you could. So I'm wondering if, like, Honda has a finance arm, so he could. He could have taken a loan out on the house to pay for some renovations, and it's through Honda finance company. If your name's on the account, it might be worth a phone call to the bank to find out what indeed that's going for before you.
Wendy
Yeah.
Kelly
Pull him into it.
Jeff
Yeah, I think that's.
Rachel
I didn't think about that. Yeah.
Jeff
Yeah. I think others were calling up, but they say the same advice on that. Hey, Laura, good Morning. You're on Q100.
Laura
Good morning.
Jeff
Hi.
Kelly
Hello.
Laura
Having been both a mistress and having been someone cheated on, she needs to get a detective. If she's been in this marriage for eight years before he has a reason or a way to get himself out of it by just saying, oh, it's this. Oh, it's that. She needs knowledge to go forth in this. And I really hate to think the worst case scenario, but having heard everything right now, I don't see how it's any other way. And if you approach him with the true, you know, truth in front of, you know, on a piece of paper in front of him, he can't say anything.
Jeff
Laura, was the husband that you were dating, was he paying for anything for you, like an apartment or.
Laura
He offered a thousand times over to do this. And I kept saying no. I just. The guilt got to me. I got out of it. I couldn't deal with it.
Jeff
How can, how do you. How was he planning on hiding that from his wife? Was, were they so rich that she would have been.
Laura
Men lose their mind and it doesn't matter. My, My ex boyfriend got caught after he got married. We had continued talking to his friends because we actually had a business together at one point and he fell in love with this new girl and went crazy. And I kept warning him he better stop. And yeah, he got caught, but he was doing all kinds of stuff for her. And I'm like, you've got kids at home. I got mad at him, actually. So it's just one of those men lose their mind, they fall in love. And I don't want her. I want it to be something ridiculously obvious that it's not. But she needs to. If she's got kids, she needs to be protected from this. And if she can't afford it, could you guys ask a detective?
Kelly
Well, hold on. Before we get so far ahead of it, isn't it worth. It's nine o', clock, the bank's open. Isn't it worth her getting.
Laura
She may not be able to obtain that information because she won't be the person on the account.
Kelly
Yeah, her name's on the account. Okay, well, I mean, you're telling her to run out and get a detective because it happened to you. But if I'm her husband, ultimately she still. I understand that you're saying ultimately because this is what you did and what happened to you.
Laura
No, I'm, I'm. I know it from both ends. Right, and so men will make excuses for everything if she, if you, if you talk to her Monday.
Kelly
But I'm telling you from the guy's point. I hear what you're saying, but from the guy's point of View. If there's something in my bank account that Jessica can't explain, and she looks at it once and hires a private detective, that's a bigger problem.
Melissa
She needs to call the bank before the. Jeff, she needs to call the bank before.
Kelly
Call the bank. And somebody did send a text message and says it is possible that Honda does other financing because when somebody got their car or something, they have, like, a Honda card.
Melissa
And benefit of the doubt. He knows because you admitted you don't know anything about the financing at the home, and he knows that, and he knows you have not been invested or cared about that. So saying he's doing something completely innocent. If he was to get financing for something, why would he come to you and tell you? Because it's not like you've been involved in the finances up to this point.
Rachel
Right, right, right. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff
So most are calling saying you need to do some research before you go ahead and hire a detective.
Melissa
Call the bank, especially because you have
Wendy
no reason to think he'd be unfaithful to you. You know, you don't want to.
Rachel
And that's. That's the thing. I mean, that's, you know, that something way, way, way back in the back of my head. But, I mean, I could call the bank. And even if I were to approach him with it, I really think, like, in listening, this, like, the detective thing is so way, way out there. Don't never do that.
Jeff
Well, you're one we need to check back with on Monday to find out how it all panned out. So call the bank today and let's find out what happened with you on Monday. Okay?
Rachel
Okay, I will.
Kelly
Imagine if Stacy found one thing in your world, Burr, and immediately called a private detective.
Jeff
Well, the only way you would do that is if evidence in your head piled up that this was just one thing of a whole bunch of other things.
Melissa
And it didn't cross her mind until
Jeff
her friend said it right.
Melissa
You know?
Jeff
So we'll check back with her on Monday morning.
Show Host
The Birch show
Lowe's Announcer
during Memorial Day at Lowe's shop household must haves for less. Save $80 on a Char Broil Performance Series 4 Burner Grill to chef up something special plus get up to 45%
off select major appliances to keep things fresh. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's.
Lowe's we help you save valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location. See lowe's.com for details.
Visit your nearby Lowe's.
Carvana Announcer
Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this carvana thing for selling the car. I'm going to give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl.
Lowe's Announcer
Love ya.
Wendy
So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it.
Lowe's Announcer
Sell your car today on Carvana.
Wendy
Pick up Fees may apply
Lowe's Announcer
during Memorial Day at Lowe's. Shop household must haves for less. Save $80 on a Char Broil Performance Series 4 Burner Grill to Chef up something special. Plus get up to 45% off select
major APPL appliances to keep things fresh. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's.
Lowe's we help you save valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location. See lowe's.com for details.
Visit your nearby Lowe's.
Show Host
The Birch Show.
Kelly
All right.
Jeff
Wendy knows more about girls next door than the rest of us do. And Holly Madison is joining us this morning. Hey, Holly.
Holly Madison
Hey. How are you?
Jeff
Good. How are you today?
Holly Madison
I'm great. Just waking up.
Jeff
You must be out in California.
Liz
Vegas.
Holly Madison
No, I'm in Vegas, but same time zone.
Liz
Are you still doing the peep show?
Holly Madison
Yes.
Jeff
What is the peep show?
Holly Madison
Peep show is this awesome burlesque show at Planet Hollywood that I star in.
Jeff
Okay. On any given night in Vegas, what time do you get to sleep?
Holly Madison
Like two usually.
Jeff
Really? That seems to me like that would be the. That's the Atlanta equivalent of 9 o' clock at night.
Holly Madison
Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty early for Vegas. When you live here full time, you don't really go out every night. You just kind of pick and choose and maybe go out like one one night a week or so. Otherwise you wouldn't get anything done.
Jeff
My dad lives outside of Vegas in Henderson, and he's lived there for 10 years and he's only been to the Strip one time.
Kelly
Really?
Jeff
Yes. Like, if you live.
Laura
Yeah.
Holly Madison
I mean, I live on the Strip, obviously, but a lot of locals who are born and raised here, they don't even come to the Strip.
Melissa
It's almost like any city, I think, you know, where you're really not a tourist in your own town, you know, but you'll. You will other places. But you think Vegas would be hard not to.
Kelly
New Yorkers who never go to Manhattan.
Jeff
Right.
Kelly
Or Atlantins who never come inside the Perimeter.
Wendy
Do you live in a big fancy hotel in Vegas?
Holly Madison
Yeah, I live in Planet Hollywood. I love living here. It's just like living in a small town, but yet you have everything to do that you would want to do in a big city.
Liz
Well, I want to get your take on the new girls next door because Hugh's new number one girlfriend looks exactly like you, in my opinion, and kind
Wendy
of acts like you.
Liz
What do you think of the new girls?
Holly Madison
You know, the Crystal, I don't even know. I know the twins because I worked on their Playmate pictorial, but I don't know Crystal at all.
Jeff
How do you. I got so many questions, more about you, Hefner, than anything else. And I know I'm gonna be walking the line attacky here, probably. So if I step over the line, just say, hey, you're being a tool. But when. How do you go from tool?
Kelly
Oh, that was for her.
Jeff
Yeah. How do you go from meeting Hugh Hefner to being Hugh Hefner's lover? Like, what happens there? Do his people say, look, he was really involved or interested in getting involved with you? Or is there one on one interaction? Or how does that work?
Holly Madison
It's more like you hang out with other girls and make friends with them, I find.
Jeff
But then is it like he is. Does he come into a room and he just starts to select women that he wants to be more intimate with?
Holly Madison
No, it's more like just having fun, hanging out as a group and stuff.
Jeff
But at one point, you break off because it's. It's you and the rest of the girls. So how does that happen?
Holly Madison
Well, it's just like whoever gets along and has fun and stuff like that would be who would live at the
Liz
house and how do you go up from this big group to being the number one?
Holly Madison
I was there the longest.
Jeff
Well, there had to be something special with you that he didn't have with the other girls.
Kelly
Obviously liked you more.
Holly Madison
Yeah, we got along really well. Definitely.
Wendy
Are you guys still friends?
Holly Madison
Yeah. I mean, it's kind of hard, though, because when he has the new girlfriends, like, sometimes jealousy gets up in there and, you know, I don't want to, like, nitpick every single little drama. That's not what my life's about anymore. So sometimes things get a little strange. But it is.
Wendy
Is he also jealous of your new boyfriend?
Holly Madison
No, absolutely not. He's really cool. He's always, like, really cool with, you know, his ex girlfriends.
Rachel
You know, he wants.
Holly Madison
Wants to be friends, and he always wants everybody to be happy and things like that. So it's not that at all. It's just like. I don't know. It's. It's the girls.
Laura
It's not him.
Melissa
How many times in a day do you get asked what it's like to sleep with an elderly man?
Holly Madison
Never. Never.
Melissa
What's it. What's it like to sleep with an elderly man?
Holly Madison
I don't know.
Jeff
You've never. You and Hugh never got intimate in that way?
Holly Madison
That is not a question I would answer.
Jeff
I'm trying to think of a way to rephrase it. Well, I mean, obviously, if you guys. I mean, you were his girlfriend. I mean, you guys were in a serious, serious relationship, so it has to be assumed that you were getting intimate with him.
Holly Madison
Well, would you ask anybody else on the show if they had sex with their boyfriend?
Jeff
Definitely.
Melissa
Yes.
Wendy
Yeah, that's kind of the kind of show we have.
Jeff
Definitely would. In fact, Jeff told us this morning he had sex with his wife last night.
Melissa
I had sex last night.
Kelly
I said I had sex last night. I didn't say who else was around
Melissa
me or if anybody.
Jeff
I can't believe that question has never been asked of you before.
Holly Madison
No, it's been asked. It just doesn't get asked very often.
Jeff
Yeah, Melissa, that was tacky.
Melissa
I'm sorry. I am the tacky one.
Kelly
Melissa, you're being a tool.
Melissa
Melissa's the tool.
Liz
How much interaction did you have with Hef? I know the other girls came out and said that they didn't have much during the filming of the show. Was that accurate?
Holly Madison
No. Well, the thing about Hef is he's really busy. I mean, we would always do things every day, but he's really busy with work during the day and stuff. So you would kind of do your own thing during the day, and he would always be in the office and working on the magazine and stuff.
Wendy
Is living in that house like, living in a big sorority house?
Holly Madison
Yeah, absolutely. It's super fun. And I'm kind of addicted to it, actually, because I live in this big suite in the hotel, and I have a roommate now, and I'm always like, I love being surrounded by people and by friends.
Jeff
Here's Meg. She's got a question for you. Hey, Meg, you're on with Holly Madison.
Holly Madison
Hey, Holly. I'm a huge, huge, huge fan. I love the girls next door, and I'm looking forward to the new show. But I was curious, how is your new show different from the girls next door? Do some of the same girls make an appearance, or is it completely new people? It's a lot of new people. It's new friends from peepshow, I would say, like the three other main characters in the show. One of them is the male singer from peep show. One of them is a playmate that has been on a couple Girls Next Door episodes. And then my friend angel, who was born and raised in Vegas, she was on a few Girls Next Door episode. It's a lot. I mean, it's the same producers as Girls Next Door, so it's a lot of the same style, the same fun and everything like that. But it's set in Vegas, so there's a lot of new things to do and new plot lines and different things like that.
Liz
And Holly, are you taking part in any of the editing of that show?
Holly Madison
I don't get down to the editing. I will just let the producers know if I think there's something extra special and we go over story together. But I don't actually sit in the editing bay yet.
Jeff
Are there
Laura
keyword.
Jeff
Are there some that that you feel will never ever be able to take you seriously as far as a businesswoman goes, based on how you started the whole thing out with you, Hefner?
Holly Madison
Yeah, absolutely. But, you know, I seem to be getting everything I want done anyway, so it's all right. I mean, obviously there will be some people out there who don't, but I don't really care what else.
Jeff
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
Wendy
Holly, I read on your website that you have a book club.
VRBO Announcer
Is that true?
Holly Madison
Yeah, I just like, I post a new book that I'm reading every month on my website, and then I try and get people from Twitter to recommend new ones to me.
Wendy
That's cool.
Melissa
How many people do you think were in your movie? Because it sounds like it's almost like a indirect book club. How many people?
Holly Madison
Yeah, it's not really that interactive.
Melissa
What is like the most popular book that you've read that your fans have responded to?
Holly Madison
Probably the Madonna biography.
Kelly
I read well, so you gotta really get the tacky questions.
Jeff
I know.
Melissa
I'm sorry. I was trying to make up for the elderly man sex question.
Jeff
It's too late now. So tell us about the e. Special that's premiering.
Holly Madison
It's the first episode of my spin off from Girls Next Door. It's just about everything I'm doing in Vegas and all the fun stuff we're doing here. And it's a lot of fun.
Laura
It's awesome.
Jeff
Well, very cool. Well, thank you for joining us this morning. I apologize for my co host.
Melissa
I'm Sorry.
Jeff
Getting so tacky. All right, Holly. Thank you.
Holly Madison
Thank you.
Jeff
All right. Bye. Bye. Melissa, I'm sorry.
Liz
Can't believe you.
Wendy
I wish you.
Melissa
I wish there was a camera in here by going.
Holly Madison
Yes, Melissa, is a question. Okay.
Jeff
I think we did pretty good with not a lot there.
Kelly
That was a bummer of a way to end a Friday show.
Melissa
That wasn't that bad.
Wendy
Struggle.
Liz
Yeah, She's a talker.
Jeff
I'm exhausted now.
Holly Madison
Yeah.
Carvana Announcer
Yeah.
Melissa
Her laugh fascinated me. I think Jeff and I.
Jeff
This is the message that Jeff is going to leave her later on today.
Laura
You're so. And you. I want you.
Melissa
And Jeff has a mustache, too.
Holly Madison
Really?
Laura
Please leave me. What?
Wendy
Wendy, Never.
Melissa
Okay.
Wendy
How long have you been here?
Jeff
You never noticed he had.
Melissa
You never noticed he had facial hair?
Liz
Well, no, I.
Jeff
You poor little fan.
Melissa
I guess I just didn't realize it.
Jeff
I think it's. You know what I think she's saying?
Kelly
What did you realize about the hair on my face?
Jeff
Here's what I hear her saying, Jen, is that your body is so hot, she didn't even realize you had a face.
Laura
Oh, God.
Holly Madison
That was a great way to answer that.
Kelly
Good.
Lowe's Announcer
Well, it's really gonna send me a new weekend.
Holly Madison
Great.
Kelly
Thanks for fixing the high management interview.
Liz
Hey.
Show Host
The Birch show
Lowe's Announcer
during Memorial Day at Lowe's Shop household must haves for less. Save $80 on a char broil performance. Series 4 burner grill to chef up something special. Plus get up to 45% off.
Select major appliances to keep things fresh. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's.
Lowe's. We help you Save. Valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location.
C loewes.com for details visit your nearby Lowe's.
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Early birds always rise to the occasion for summer vacation planning because early gets you closer to the action. So don't be late. Book your next vacation early on VRBO and save over $120. Rise and shine. Average savings $141. Select homes only
Lowe's Announcer
during Memorial Day at Lowe's shop household must haves for less. Save $80 on a Char Broil Performance Series 4 burner grill to chef up something special. Plus get up to 45% off.
Select major appliances to keep things fresh. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's.
Lowe's. We help you save valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location. See Lowes.com for details.
Visit your nearby Lowe's
Show Host
the Bird Show.
Jeff
I just want to do a quick check here. I don't want to get into major debate about it or anything, if this is even possible because Michael Vick is so polarizing. But if you can call up right now and you are capable of just saying boo or applaud and then hang up, that's all I want to know.
Liz
Okay.
Jeff
Because when he comes out on Sunday, I'm wondering if he is going to be greeted by a whole bunch of boos or there's going to be a whole bunch of people there that give him a standing ovation. 404-741-Q100 what I do know is that he's so polarizing and people feel so strongly about him that there's almost going to be a crowd noise competition going on because boos are going to want to drown out applause and applause is going to want to drown out booze. So if you're going to the game, what do you plan on doing when he comes onto the field for the first time? 404 741Q100 I thought it was going
Wendy
to be more cheers than boos until last week or maybe earlier this week when he came out and he said that Atlanta was still his town and that those people would stand up and give him a standing ovation. Like his cocky comment, I think is gonna make more people against him than would have been before that. Because I've gone to a couple Falcons games this year, Vick jerseys everywhere. I think it would have been a majority support. But after that statement, now I feel like it'll be split down the middle.
Jeff
I will rarely stick up for Michael Vick, but I will tell you this. That quote comes from the Associated Press and it was a very cocky quote. So it did happen. But I also went online yesterday and read the ajc and in the last couple of weeks, when asked about coming to Atlanta, Michael Vick has been very humble about it. You can find way more articles about him being humble about coming back to Atlanta than you can that one quote. I was kind of pissed when I actually read that yesterday because he's been portrayed Everybody's using that one quote associated with Michael coming back, when the truth is there are 20 quotes that he said that have a totally different texture to it.
Wendy
That makes sense.
Kelly
What would everybody in the room do?
Liz
Oh, I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to go yay or nay. Either way. I think it's bad either way. Whatever you do.
Melissa
Yeah, I wouldn't waste my energy. But if I did it, you would do.
Kelly
That's what I would do. I'd sit there silent because It's. It's. I'm certainly not going to applaud him. But he committed a crime. He did. This time. He's back in the career. People are going to argue, oh, he doesn't deserve whatever, blah. But you know what? The way the system works, his debt has been paid according to the law. I'm not a fan of his, but it's also.
Melissa
But see, we're only asking people, boo or yay.
Liz
Well, if you go boo or yay in the stadium, he's getting a reaction out of you anyway, so he's getting the attention. So if you just stand there numb, he's not going to know what to do.
Jeff
Cindy.
Holly Madison
Yes. I'm going to applaud.
Laura
He did his time.
Holly Madison
He paid his penance.
Kelly
Just say boo or applaud.
Jeff
I don't think people are capable of it, man. They're so passionate about it.
Melissa
Her.
Jeff
Rachel.
Laura
Applaud.
Jeff
Add a girl.
Liz
Look at. Look. And you're. You're waiting.
Jeff
I didn't think she could do it.
Liz
She did it.
Jeff
Are you keeping score here, Wendy?
Liz
I am.
Jeff
What do we have?
Liz
Two applauds.
Jeff
Good morning, Liz.
Kelly
That's awesome.
VRBO Announcer
Now I'm confused.
Liz
Now I'm confused.
Kelly
That's just 1.404741.
Jeff
Q100.
Lowe's Announcer
Triple boo plus infinity plus one boo.
Holly Madison
Boo.
Kelly
Triple boo infinity.
Melissa
Boo squared
Kelly
just counts as one.
Jeff
Good morning. Nikki, you're on Q100.
Holly Madison
Hello.
Jeff
Hi.
Melissa
Applaud or boo.
Laura
I would boo him.
Jeff
Boo. Erica, good Morning. You're on Q100.
Holly Madison
Applaud.
Melissa
Okay.
Jeff
Stephen.
Laura
I know him. I applaud.
Jeff
Don't want to know if you know him. Just applaud or boo.
Kelly
Just applaud or boo. Bragger.
Liz
Name dropper.
Jeff
Chrissy, good morning.
Holly Madison
Applaud.
Kelly
Thanks for your call. I'm friends with Wyclef. He tweeted me.
Jeff
I'm a Wyclef warrior. That's official.
Kelly
Dude, you were right, man. Everybody wants to welcome you to the Warrior Nation or whatever.
Jeff
Official. Good morning, Todd.
Laura
He plays for the Eagles. So you've got a boo. Him.
Kelly
Plotter.
Lowe's Announcer
Boom.
Jeff
Just a plotter. Boo.
Wendy
That was just a boo.
Melissa
We could do it in here.
Laura
Monique, applaud.
Jeff
Melissa. Melissa.
Laura
Yes.
Jeff
Hi.
Rachel
Hi.
Kelly
Applaud or boo.
Holly Madison
Boo.
Jeff
Gene Yellow.
Kelly
Applaud or boo?
Jeff
I think she's saying she's gonna sit there silently.
Liz
She said boo.
Holly Madison
Boo.
Jeff
Okay.
Kelly
You my boo. Ben.
Jeff
Good morning.
Holly Madison
It's a big boo.
Wendy
It counts as one.
Kelly
Just one boo.
Liz
I'm marking that one down as more.
Jeff
Sue.
Holly Madison
Yay.
Melissa
Okay.
Kelly
Huh?
Wendy
She went with yay. Instead of applaud.
Jeff
Very easy game. Applaud or boo. There's no big.
Kelly
There we go. He got it.
VRBO Announcer
Applaud. Okay.
Jeff
Thanks, bro.
Melissa
It's too simple.
Kelly
I know. I'm having more fun with people who can't get it. Applaud or boo.
Melissa
And you can hear their voice.
Holly Madison
Like, I'm a rule.
Kelly
You know what? I'm a rule breaker, and I'm taking a Birch show down with me.
Melissa
Don't tell me what to do.
Jeff
Daniel.
Carvana Announcer
Infinity.
Laura
Applaud.
Wendy
There is none.
Liz
I'm taking away a point for every time.
Jeff
Hey, good morning, Q100.
Holly Madison
Boo.
Kelly
Thank you.
Jeff
A plus. Good morning. Q100.
Holly Madison
Applause.
Kelly
Hey, wait a minute. Don't hang up. Are you okay? I think she was walking in a field and fell down a well.
Jeff
Good morning. Q100. What was that? No, Claude.
Wendy
Yeah, he's going to cheer his ass off.
Jeff
I think that's what he said. Is that what he said?
Wendy
He said he was going to cheer,
Melissa
so that means applaud.
Kelly
I think there's a cuss word in the front half.
Melissa
Applaud.
VRBO Announcer
Boo.
Jeff
That's it. It's very simple.
Liz
Okay.
Jeff
Q100. Good morning, boo.
Wendy
All right. Unfortunate one, but it was singular.
Kelly
Now they're wanting us to count seconds.
Holly Madison
Applause.
Wendy
Applaud OR Boo.
Show Host
Morning.
Jeff
Q100. Yellow.
Liz
I'm gonna go with boo.
Melissa
I love how people just want to be unique.
Jeff
They want their own identity, my individuality.
Melissa
Yes.
Jeff
Good morning, Q100.
Rachel
Hi, boo.
Kelly
Thank you.
Jeff
Good morning. Q100.
Kelly
You for your boo.
Laura
Applaud. Love to go.
Jeff
Thank you.
Melissa
Thanks.
Jeff
That. That's acceptable. And good morning, Q100.
Carvana Announcer
Applaud.
Jeff
Applaud. All right, so what's our tally there? If we're taking a sample size here,
Liz
there's 13 applause and 10 booze.
Jeff
It's gonna be pretty split today.
Kelly
I mean, one. Yippee.
Jeff
But you had one infinity in there, so it's not even gonna be close. I think, and I do think that people are gonna be extremely vocal as soon as he comes into the game.
Wendy
See, I think that we were taking a sample of the audience. I think if you took a sample of Falcons fans.
Holly Madison
Yeah.
Wendy
It would be more applaud than it would be audience cause.
Liz
Mm, I don't know.
Jeff
I don't know either.
Wendy
I think it's gonna be more applaud at the stadium. That's my prediction.
Kelly
Are you able to answer a question just yes or no?
Jeff
Yes. I think so.
Kelly
See, I couldn't do it.
Holly Madison
I couldn't do it.
Kelly
All right. Do you still fantasize about Melissa naked every day after the show?
Jeff
Yes.
Laura
Perfect.
Kelly
Good job. Get it.
Show Host
The Birch Show
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Show Host
You're on the Birch Show.
Kelly
I don't think Melissa or Wendy or I or any of our interns or anyone who's been around you physically today.
Wendy
Yeah.
Kelly
Would. Can avoid the fact that you have been giddy. Yeah.
Wendy
Kind of. Yeah.
Kelly
So tell us about Saturday.
Wendy
Well, I don't know how much I can tell you about it, except that I had a first date Saturday that was great.
Kelly
Okay.
Wendy
Really great. But, like, if you say too much, I don't know. You can't say too much.
Melissa
Well, here's something that keeps it generic. If we don't say anything else, let's not say anything else. Except I think, Jeff, correct me if I'm wrong, that the interesting part of the conversation, I think that listeners can be peeked into is the marital status, like, of past marital status of him. Can we talk about that or.
Wendy
No, I can just. I'll talk about my feelings in generic.
Melissa
Yes, let's go with that. We won't talk about him. But I thought the concept of this being kind of a filter in your mind was interesting.
Wendy
Right. So the filter is. And I've been talking to my friends about this, and I'm really like, I've been in a space where I'm open to dating as a verb.
Liz
Right.
Wendy
We've talked about that. So that's anybody, everybody or whatever. But I was talking to some friends of mine and I was saying, I would like to meet somebody who had been married before. I've been married before. So right off the outset, there's a judgment feeling about that, and you can't understand it until you've gone through it and been there, but you just feel like you got a big, you know, stamp on your forehead or whatever, you
Kelly
know, Big D. Big D, The Scarlet Letter type thing.
Wendy
Exactly. Like, you know. And so for me, that would be a comfortable situation, not saying that, that another situation might not work out great
Melissa
or whatever unless there's a relatability there.
Holly Madison
Right.
Wendy
It would be a relatable thing. And right off the bat there wouldn't be any judgment. And then I also was saying that, like, I felt like if I found somebody that was my age or older and married before, that that would be a good thing because. And this is gonna sound really bad about if anybody hasn't been married before, but my theory was that maybe there was something wrong or there was commitment issues if somebody had been smart, good looking, successful and all these other things, but not married before and they're like
Melissa
mid-30s and up if they have never been married.
Wendy
Yeah, like late 30s, late 30s.
Kelly
If you're really that great, why hasn't someone snagged you up to this point?
Wendy
No, not necessarily that. It's more like.
Kelly
I didn't think so.
Wendy
It's more like commitment issues.
Kelly
Right.
Wendy
If you haven't tried it by 40, why not? And would you ever be somebody that would be open to commitment? So that's what I was saying to my friends. I said, I want to meet a nice boy who's been married before, which
Melissa
I think is funny.
Wendy
And I've been saying that for about
Melissa
the last month because I don't think that it's. I don't think it's unique that Jen feels that way, that I think a lot of women probably feel that way about guys. Like, if you haven't been married by 40 and like you said, you have all these attributes than what's going on. And I just found it fascinating that now that is something that's positive if you've been divorced where. I mean, even though I'm surprised that. I'm surprised that Jen still feels a sense of judgment because my sister was divorced long time ago and she definitely felt it back when she got divorced some 20 years ago when there was definitely judgment placed, especially on women if you've been divorced before. So I just find it fascinating that it's now an asset to have been married rather than not. You know what I'm saying?
Wendy
Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it would definitely be an asset to me.
Holly Madison
Right.
Wendy
I'm sure to other women it wouldn't be. But what do we call it? I wanted. Oh, my friends and I said that we wanted somebody that was D and K, divorced, no kids, Dinks.
Kelly
That's Dinks. That's a Real category.
Rachel
Really?
Kelly
Uh huh. Divorced people with no kids are called Dinks.
Wendy
Really?
Holly Madison
Huh.
Kelly
You thought you were all creative and whatnot?
Melissa
I mean, no, it was all, it was all yours.
Wendy
No, Yeah, I didn't come up with the actual name for it, but yeah.
Kelly
So that's a good. There's a promotion idea right there. A Dinks party hosted by Jen.
Holly Madison
That's right.
Kelly
So yeah, we've learned. And by we, I'm only referring to Wendy and Jen and well, Melissa, to some extent, anybody who's spent any time single on this show.
Jeff
Oh my God.
Kelly
Yeah. That is certainly exploited.
Melissa
I certainly did. Yes. It sucked because it's.
Liz
Did the guys listen.
Melissa
It's just, I mean, it seems like, oh my God, you know, you're on the air and you could, you know, exposing yourself and you could have anybody in the sitter, you know, but it's like you can't go on a regular date. You can't go on a regular date. And I will say that one of the things that made me get to a second date with Katie that we've talked about since then is the fact that Katie at the time didn't act like she listened to the show. She didn't ask me a thing about me or a thing about the show. And that was so refreshing that she got a second date on that.
Liz
I'll agree with that one. If you can go an entire conversation without mentioning it, points because you want
Melissa
to make sure that the person's there. Because if you're gonna get in a relationship with somebody, this show is not gonna be the most important thing in that relationship. So you don't want somebody that's sitting there across from you just like, oh my God, I'm such a Burch show fan. And I just listen to Burt show. Duh, duh. It's like, gosh, I can't do it.
Kelly
Just for the record, if you're trying to wow me talk really a lot about me. Talk about how you listen to me on the show.
Liz
Talk about, hey, Jeff, how I see you're married.
Melissa
Honey.
Wendy
Wendy, you can understand this too. It's also difficult because if you have, say there's different dates that are set up. Like you can't.
Liz
Yes. Because they're gonna know about them.
Wendy
Right.
Liz
And you're not leaving anything to their imagination. You know how we're supposed to play the game and we're supposed to be unavailable. Well, they can tell when you're available and not available because you're talking about
Melissa
it all the time, your life.
Wendy
Right.
Kelly
I Was wrong by that. That Dinks thing. I was wrong.
Wendy
What does that mean?
Kelly
Melissa, you were wrong with me. So I'm not alone.
Melissa
No, I wasn't. Hey, Kelly, I didn't take you.
Kelly
Hey, what's up?
Holly Madison
Love this show. Thanks a lot. Dual income, no kids is what dink stands for.
Wendy
Dual income, no kids. So you and Jessica are Dinks?
Kelly
Yes. Start calling names.
Holly Madison
Thank you.
Rachel
Have a great day.
Melissa
Thank you.
Holly Madison
Dink.
Kelly
Hey, Julie. Welcome to the bird show.
Holly Madison
Oh, thank you.
Melissa
Hi.
Rachel
Hi.
Holly Madison
I just wanted to make a comment
Rachel
that I didn't get married until I
Holly Madison
was 37 and I had people looking down on me, asking me if I didn't like the institution of marriage, what was my problem? And there wasn't a problem. I love the institution of marriage, but I only wanted to do it once. I wanted to wait until I did it right now. I had been engaged twice before. Everybody else was getting married when I broke up my engagements. And the only smart thing my sister in law ever said to me is wait until you're ready. Your friends will be divorced two and three times. When you finally find somebody, it'll be
Laura
a while, but you'll do it.
Holly Madison
For I'd never get married after a while. Swore I'd never have kids. I've been married eight years with two kids.
Melissa
Congratulations.
Wendy
Yeah, I mean, I think that's good for you, that that's your story. But I also think that that was kind of judgmental to be like. And her, her path was better.
Rachel
Right?
Wendy
Like, well, I waited, so my decision was better. I don't think that's necessarily the right thing.
Kelly
It's not a statement. Keep in mind, a lot of times we say stuff on the show, we stay like they are our personal opinions. We're not standing on the mountain and dispelling what we think is the gospel to the masses.
Melissa
Well, she's understanding, but yeah, I agree that I think that you want to relate to who you're with. And for some people, waiting, for instance, myself waiting to have children until I'm probably going to be in my 40s. Being the older mother is what's right for me. But I totally can see the benefit of having had kids in your 20s. You know what I mean? But so one decision is not better than the other.
Kelly
Hey, Paul, what's going on?
Laura
Hey. I was just wanting to comment on Jen. Hobbies, dating with guys, or maybe even Wendy with guys. Maybe people don't know or guys don't know how to approach them because they are so popular.
Kelly
Well, we've talked about this on the show before. And both Wendy and Janet just appreciate a good junk press.
Laura
So
Kelly
what you try to do is just get physically close to them and push your pelvis into.
Wendy
Please don't do that.
Kelly
No, it's not right.
Wendy
High works only just because that's what you do. It doesn't work for everyone.
Kelly
I thought you guys were into that. Mistaken. What would be the best opening line for a guy to use on either one of you?
Wendy
Just hi.
Liz
Come up and have a normal conversation.
Holly Madison
Give me a drink.
Kelly
Wendy had one this weekend. You want to go to the SEC championship?
Wendy
That was.
Show Host
Listen, it's the vert show.
This episode exemplifies the classic Bert Show blend of real-life listener drama, playful and candid team banter, and celebrity interviews – all served with humor and open conversation. In this installment, the hosts tackle everything from marital finance secrets and relationship expectations to pop culture, capped off by an engaging interview with Holly Madison and a brisk, polarizing conversation around athlete Michael Vick. The tone is unfiltered, supportive, and quick-witted, making listeners feel like part of the morning crew.
[00:46 – 10:50]
Notable Quotes:
Memorable Moment:
[12:25 – 20:24]
Notable Quotes:
Memorable Moment:
[23:18 – 30:28]
Notable Quotes:
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[31:55 – 40:43]
Notable Quotes:
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The episode moves quickly, blending serious listener concerns with irreverent banter, direct advice, and moments of vulnerability. The cast’s chemistry is on full display—from playful needling to supportive, nuanced takes on relationships and pop culture. Listeners are brought into the fold, whether through direct advice, open debate, or shared laughs at the everyday absurdities of modern life.
The Bert Show delivers on its promise of “making your mornings bearable”—mixing the real, the ridiculous, and the relatable all in one.