Podcast Summary: The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3 [Vault]

Date: November 14, 2025

Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)

Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is lively, humorous, and authentically Southern, focusing on two main themes:

1. The Ultimate Guide to Tailgating in the South — The cast and callers share rules, tips, and personal stories for an authentic Southern college football tailgate experience.
2. An Interview with Kenyetta, a Real-Life Miracle Mom — A gripping, unbelievable story of a woman who gave birth alone in a car after a crash, kept it from her family, and survived to tell the tale.

As always, the cast mixes information with laughs, real talk, and listener engagement.

The "Idiot’s Guide" to Tailgating in the South

[00:42 – 16:43]

Setting the Scene

• The cast enthuses about the return of college football and the powerful, uniting nature of team traditions in the South. Listeners are invited to contribute their own must-dos for tailgating.
• “It’s just so good to see college football back on TV right now.” — (B, 01:58)

Core Tailgating Rules & Insights (Cast + Callers)

• Pace Yourself: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint

  • “It is, keep this in mind when you’re tailgating. It’s a marathon. It’s not a race.” — (B, 03:44)
  • Personal anecdote: The perils of drinking too much too fast and ending up sick before kickoff.

• Unique Markers for Your Spot

  • “You’ve got to have some sort of unique identifier for your area… because everybody looks similar.” — (D, 04:38)

• Bring a TV for Other Games

  • “A true college fan is interested in other games, not just the one they're about to go see.” — (C, 05:22)

• Absolute Essentials

  • Bottle Opener: “Never forget a bottle opener.” — (E, 05:50)
  • Cooler & Ice: “You gotta have a big cooler.” — (E, 13:47)
    “The one thing you cannot forget. Ice.” — (E, 11:30)
  • Plenty of Food: “You got to have plenty of food, right?” — (E, 10:48)
  • Chairs & Shade: “The best tailgating are the people that have enough chairs for people to sit in.” — (C, 10:18)
  • Grill: “Barbecue grill. Gotta have one.” — (E, 13:28)
  • Bug Spray: “Bug spray… in the South will pair you up.” — (E, 15:04)
  • Football Tickets! “Don’t forget your football tickets.” — (E, 14:52)

• Drinks of Choice

  • “You have to have Bloody Marys.” — (E, 07:14)
  • “Lots of bourbon.” — (E, 07:41)
  • “You gotta have beer. Lots and lots of beer.” — (E, 08:42)
  • For after-parties: Make sure there’s enough beer for Sunday, since you can't buy any then. — (E, 12:40)

• Social Etiquette

  • Respect Your Hosts: “Just remember, you’re partying on someone else’s campus, and there’s more of them than there are of you.” — (B, 06:01)
  • Be Respectful: “Be a little respectful of where you’re going... people have to live there too.” — (E, 08:10)
  • Don’t trash rivals’ stuff.

• Ingenious Tips

  • Smuggling Alcohol: “You have to have Ziploc baggies so… you can pour your alcohol in… [to] get into the stadium.” — (E, 13:01)
  • Park Near Restrooms: “Essential to tailgating: park near a restroom.” — (E, 11:47)
  • Know your Colors: "Don't get the Oranges mixed up..." (referring to team colors). — (E, 09:26)
  • Token Beer Hat Guy: “At least one person has to have the patented beer hat.” — (E, 14:13)

• Food for All

  • “Cheap and easy because college students are poor. Hot dogs, hamburgers, lots of potatoes... Want to drink more? Eat more potatoes.” — (E, 11:04)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• [03:44] B: “It’s a marathon. It’s not a race.”
• [05:50] E: “Never forget a bottle opener.”
• [08:10] E (Peter): “You have to be respectful when you go down to the campus... this is a place where you’re partying, but people have to live there, too.”
• [13:01] E (Brennan): “You have to have Ziploc baggies... pour your alcohol in [to] get into the stadium.”
• [11:47] E (Tom): “Essential to tailgating: park near a restroom.”

Final Recap List – [15:14]

• Cooler, ice, bug spray, football tickets
• Enough beer for Sunday
• Extra food, alcohol, and chairs for proximity to stadium
• Ziploc bags for stadium smuggling (thanks, Florida State)
• Tailgate is a marathon, not a dash
• Unique tent/spot identifiers
• TV for watching multiple games
• Bottle openers
• Social awareness and respect for campus/community
• Array of drink choices: beer, bourbon, Bloody Marys
• Grill, simple food (dogs, burgers, potatoes)
• Don’t forget the beer hat!

A Real-Life Miracle: Kenyetta’s Birth Story

[18:23 – 29:06]

The Story

• The team recaps an unbelievable story of a 21-year-old mom (“Kenyetta”) who, while in labor, crashes her car into a canal in Florida. Despite a broken leg, she delivers her baby — herself — while stranded, with no assistance, no one knowing she’s gone.
• The baby is fittingly named “Miracle.”

Kenyetta Herself Joins the Show

• She shares her POV: She crashed, broke her leg, and was hanging out the car door—one leg bracing herself, unable to reach or touch much, let alone her soon-to-be-born daughter.
• “She just came. She fell onto the seat. I still couldn’t touch her... My upper part was outside of the car.” — (E/Kenyetta, 21:00)

The Waiting Game

• She describes waiting two and a half hours stranded for help.
• “How long were you there by yourself?... Like, two and a half hours.” — (E, 21:17)
• A passing deputy finally sees her and calls for emergency services, who arrive shortly after.

Survival Details

• Kenyetta was unable to touch the baby, so she used her unbroken leg to move and nudge her newborn to keep her responsive until help arrived.
• “If mosquitoes or something was biting her... I used my left leg to kick and move her so that she could make noise… She cried for a while, then she'd stop, then I'd wedge her again.” — (E, 22:54)

The Umbilical Cord & Biology Lesson

• The umbilical cord remained attached, providing baby Miracle with oxygen for those crucial hours.
• A paramedic caller later confirms, “The baby is still connected to the umbilical cord and he’s still getting the oxygen from the mom.” — (E, 29:24)

Secret Pregnancy

• The most jaw-dropping detail: Kenyetta’s family, including her father, did not even know she was pregnant.
• “Your dad had no idea you were pregnant. He found out the day that you got to the hospital?” — (A, 24:39)
• “It wasn't that hard because... I wear scrubs to school… I come home from work late and I’m tired, so I go to sleep.” — (E, 24:49)

Why the Secret?

• When asked why, Kenyetta says even she doesn't quite know:
  “It just... I don’t know why.” — (E, 26:22)

Unplanned Instincts

• She left for the hospital alone, driven by instinct and uncertainty, rather than waking her family.
• “It wasn’t planned. I was going off instinct… I just left.” — (E, 27:20)

Memorable Quotes

• “I was going off instinct. The first thing came to my head. I wasn’t thinking to wake them up or nothing like that.” — (E, 27:20)
• “I have a window that’s coming loose... But you got a time limit. Like, that window can be loose for as long as I live in the house. But you got nine months.” — (F, 26:34)
• “What do you think the bigger shock would be? Six or seven months along, going, ‘Hey, mom, dad, I gotta tell you something,’ or... walking home with an infant one day?” — (F, 27:46)

The Outcome

• Both mom and baby are safe (besides the broken leg). The whole story is now public.
• “Congratulations.” “Everybody’s healthy.” — (F & A, 28:14–17)
• Kenyetta is at the doctor for follow-up but in good spirits.

Notable Listeners/Callers and Their Advice

| Time | First Name | Key Tip/Comment | Team Affiliation | |-------|------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------------| | 05:50 | Ben | “Never forget a bottle opener.” | - | | 07:14 | Dee | “You have to have Bloody Marys.” | - | | 07:38 | Kristen | “You have to have lots of bourbon.” | Auburn Tigers | | 08:08 | Peter | “Be respectful; pick up after yourself.” | Georgia | | 08:42 | Eddie | “You gotta have beer. Lots and lots of beer.” | - | | 09:08 | Clint | “Closer to stadium = need more food/alcohol for roaming fans.” | - | | 09:26 | Lori | “Make sure you’re tailgating on the right side; don’t mix team color.”| Vols | | 11:30 | Stephanie | “Cannot forget ice.” | - | | 11:47 | Tom | “Park near a restroom.” | Go Dogs (Georgia) | | 12:40 | Kerry | “Take inventory Saturday night – can't buy beer on Sunday.” | UGA | | 13:01 | Brennan | “Bring Ziplock baggies for sneaking in alcohol.” | Florida State | | 13:28 | Dustin | “Bring a barbecue grill, with real charcoal.” | - | | 13:43 | James | “Bring a (big) cooler.” | Tennessee Vols | | 14:13 | Aaron | “Someone has to wear the beer hat.” | Florida Gators | | 14:50 | Casey | “Don't forget your football tickets!” | Go Dogs | | 15:04 | Alicia | “Bring bug spray.” | Go Dogs |

Final Thoughts

• This episode is a love letter to Southern football culture—equal parts practical, funny, and heartfelt.
• The cast is candid and relatable, with real stories and listener voices front and center.
• Kenyetta's interview is a powerful testament to resilience and the strangeness of real life.

Timestamps for Easy Reference

• Tailgating Tips & Listener Guidance: [00:42 – 16:43]
• Kenyetta’s Miracle Birth Story: [18:23 – 29:06]

“Everybody takes football personally down here…but just be respectful—leave everybody’s stuff alone.”

(C, 06:41)

“I was going off instinct… I just left.”

(E/Kenyetta, 27:20)

For more laughs, guidance, and real talk, subscribe to The Bert Show and join in on upcoming episodes.