Full Show PT 3: Friday, November 14 [Vault]

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3 [Vault]

Date: November 14, 2025

Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is lively, humorous, and authentically Southern, focusing on two main themes:

1. The Ultimate Guide to Tailgating in the South — The cast and callers share rules, tips, and personal stories for an authentic Southern college football tailgate experience.
2. An Interview with Kenyetta, a Real-Life Miracle Mom — A gripping, unbelievable story of a woman who gave birth alone in a car after a crash, kept it from her family, and survived to tell the tale.

As always, the cast mixes information with laughs, real talk, and listener engagement.

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The "Idiot’s Guide" to Tailgating in the South

[00:42 – 16:43]

Setting the Scene

• The cast enthuses about the return of college football and the powerful, uniting nature of team traditions in the South. Listeners are invited to contribute their own must-dos for tailgating.
• “It’s just so good to see college football back on TV right now.” — (B, 01:58)

Core Tailgating Rules & Insights (Cast + Callers)

• Pace Yourself: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint

  • “It is, keep this in mind when you’re tailgating. It’s a marathon. It’s not a race.” — (B, 03:44)
  • Personal anecdote: The perils of drinking too much too fast and ending up sick before kickoff.

• Unique Markers for Your Spot

  • “You’ve got to have some sort of unique identifier for your area… because everybody looks similar.” — (D, 04:38)

• Bring a TV for Other Games

  • “A true college fan is interested in other games, not just the one they're about to go see.” — (C, 05:22)

• Absolute Essentials

  • Bottle Opener: “Never forget a bottle opener.” — (E, 05:50)
  • Cooler & Ice: “You gotta have a big cooler.” — (E, 13:47)
    “The one thing you cannot forget. Ice.” — (E, 11:30)
  • Plenty of Food: “You got to have plenty of food, right?” — (E, 10:48)
  • Chairs & Shade: “The best tailgating are the people that have enough chairs for people to sit in.” — (C, 10:18)
  • Grill: “Barbecue grill. Gotta have one.” — (E, 13:28)
  • Bug Spray: “Bug spray… in the South will pair you up.” — (E, 15:04)
  • Football Tickets! “Don’t forget your football tickets.” — (E, 14:52)

• Drinks of Choice

  • “You have to have Bloody Marys.” — (E, 07:14)
  • “Lots of bourbon.” — (E, 07:41)
  • “You gotta have beer. Lots and lots of beer.” — (E, 08:42)
  • For after-parties: Make sure there’s enough beer for Sunday, since you can't buy any then. — (E, 12:40)

• Social Etiquette

  • Respect Your Hosts: “Just remember, you’re partying on someone else’s campus, and there’s more of them than there are of you.” — (B, 06:01)
  • Be Respectful: “Be a little respectful of where you’re going... people have to live there too.” — (E, 08:10)
  • Don’t trash rivals’ stuff.

• Ingenious Tips

  • Smuggling Alcohol: “You have to have Ziploc baggies so… you can pour your alcohol in… [to] get into the stadium.” — (E, 13:01)
  • Park Near Restrooms: “Essential to tailgating: park near a restroom.” — (E, 11:47)
  • Know your Colors: "Don't get the Oranges mixed up..." (referring to team colors). — (E, 09:26)
  • Token Beer Hat Guy: “At least one person has to have the patented beer hat.” — (E, 14:13)

• Food for All

  • “Cheap and easy because college students are poor. Hot dogs, hamburgers, lots of potatoes... Want to drink more? Eat more potatoes.” — (E, 11:04)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• [03:44] B: “It’s a marathon. It’s not a race.”
• [05:50] E: “Never forget a bottle opener.”
• [08:10] E (Peter): “You have to be respectful when you go down to the campus... this is a place where you’re partying, but people have to live there, too.”
• [13:01] E (Brennan): “You have to have Ziploc baggies... pour your alcohol in [to] get into the stadium.”
• [11:47] E (Tom): “Essential to tailgating: park near a restroom.”

Final Recap List – [15:14]

• Cooler, ice, bug spray, football tickets
• Enough beer for Sunday
• Extra food, alcohol, and chairs for proximity to stadium
• Ziploc bags for stadium smuggling (thanks, Florida State)
• Tailgate is a marathon, not a dash
• Unique tent/spot identifiers
• TV for watching multiple games
• Bottle openers
• Social awareness and respect for campus/community
• Array of drink choices: beer, bourbon, Bloody Marys
• Grill, simple food (dogs, burgers, potatoes)
• Don’t forget the beer hat!

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A Real-Life Miracle: Kenyetta’s Birth Story

[18:23 – 29:06]

The Story

• The team recaps an unbelievable story of a 21-year-old mom (“Kenyetta”) who, while in labor, crashes her car into a canal in Florida. Despite a broken leg, she delivers her baby — herself — while stranded, with no assistance, no one knowing she’s gone.
• The baby is fittingly named “Miracle.”

Kenyetta Herself Joins the Show

• She shares her POV: She crashed, broke her leg, and was hanging out the car door—one leg bracing herself, unable to reach or touch much, let alone her soon-to-be-born daughter.
• “She just came. She fell onto the seat. I still couldn’t touch her... My upper part was outside of the car.” — (E/Kenyetta, 21:00)

The Waiting Game

• She describes waiting two and a half hours stranded for help.
• “How long were you there by yourself?... Like, two and a half hours.” — (E, 21:17)
• A passing deputy finally sees her and calls for emergency services, who arrive shortly after.

Survival Details

• Kenyetta was unable to touch the baby, so she used her unbroken leg to move and nudge her newborn to keep her responsive until help arrived.
• “If mosquitoes or something was biting her... I used my left leg to kick and move her so that she could make noise… She cried for a while, then she'd stop, then I'd wedge her again.” — (E, 22:54)

The Umbilical Cord & Biology Lesson

• The umbilical cord remained attached, providing baby Miracle with oxygen for those crucial hours.
• A paramedic caller later confirms, “The baby is still connected to the umbilical cord and he’s still getting the oxygen from the mom.” — (E, 29:24)

Secret Pregnancy

• The most jaw-dropping detail: Kenyetta’s family, including her father, did not even know she was pregnant.
• “Your dad had no idea you were pregnant. He found out the day that you got to the hospital?” — (A, 24:39)
• “It wasn't that hard because... I wear scrubs to school… I come home from work late and I’m tired, so I go to sleep.” — (E, 24:49)

Why the Secret?

• When asked why, Kenyetta says even she doesn't quite know:
  “It just... I don’t know why.” — (E, 26:22)

Unplanned Instincts

• She left for the hospital alone, driven by instinct and uncertainty, rather than waking her family.
• “It wasn’t planned. I was going off instinct… I just left.” — (E, 27:20)

Memorable Quotes

• “I was going off instinct. The first thing came to my head. I wasn’t thinking to wake them up or nothing like that.” — (E, 27:20)
• “I have a window that’s coming loose... But you got a time limit. Like, that window can be loose for as long as I live in the house. But you got nine months.” — (F, 26:34)
• “What do you think the bigger shock would be? Six or seven months along, going, ‘Hey, mom, dad, I gotta tell you something,’ or... walking home with an infant one day?” — (F, 27:46)

The Outcome

• Both mom and baby are safe (besides the broken leg). The whole story is now public.
• “Congratulations.” “Everybody’s healthy.” — (F & A, 28:14–17)
• Kenyetta is at the doctor for follow-up but in good spirits.

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Notable Listeners/Callers and Their Advice

| Time | First Name | Key Tip/Comment | Team Affiliation | |-------|------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------------| | 05:50 | Ben | “Never forget a bottle opener.” | - | | 07:14 | Dee | “You have to have Bloody Marys.” | - | | 07:38 | Kristen | “You have to have lots of bourbon.” | Auburn Tigers | | 08:08 | Peter | “Be respectful; pick up after yourself.” | Georgia | | 08:42 | Eddie | “You gotta have beer. Lots and lots of beer.” | - | | 09:08 | Clint | “Closer to stadium = need more food/alcohol for roaming fans.” | - | | 09:26 | Lori | “Make sure you’re tailgating on the right side; don’t mix team color.”| Vols | | 11:30 | Stephanie | “Cannot forget ice.” | - | | 11:47 | Tom | “Park near a restroom.” | Go Dogs (Georgia) | | 12:40 | Kerry | “Take inventory Saturday night – can't buy beer on Sunday.” | UGA | | 13:01 | Brennan | “Bring Ziplock baggies for sneaking in alcohol.” | Florida State | | 13:28 | Dustin | “Bring a barbecue grill, with real charcoal.” | - | | 13:43 | James | “Bring a (big) cooler.” | Tennessee Vols | | 14:13 | Aaron | “Someone has to wear the beer hat.” | Florida Gators | | 14:50 | Casey | “Don't forget your football tickets!” | Go Dogs | | 15:04 | Alicia | “Bring bug spray.” | Go Dogs |

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Final Thoughts

• This episode is a love letter to Southern football culture—equal parts practical, funny, and heartfelt.
• The cast is candid and relatable, with real stories and listener voices front and center.
• Kenyetta's interview is a powerful testament to resilience and the strangeness of real life.

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Timestamps for Easy Reference

• Tailgating Tips & Listener Guidance: [00:42 – 16:43]
• Kenyetta’s Miracle Birth Story: [18:23 – 29:06]

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“Everybody takes football personally down here…but just be respectful—leave everybody’s stuff alone.”

(C, 06:41)

“I was going off instinct… I just left.”

(E/Kenyetta, 27:20)

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For more laughs, guidance, and real talk, subscribe to The Bert Show and join in on upcoming episodes.

Transcript

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[Phil]

The first show. Melissa Carty. You've got exactly 40 seconds to revel.

[Melissa Carty]

Brings tears to my eyes.

[Phil]

Blood from my ears.

[Melissa Carty]

Ovals. Yeah, it's beautiful. That's beautiful. I mean, that song. Everybody knows that song. Everybody across the nation knows whose fight song that is.

[Phil]

My friend Ginger, who won't leave me alone about playing UGA all the time, is for you.

[Melissa Carty]

Ah, sweetheart, me good. All right.

[Tracy]

Okay. Now, all the Georgia fans have tuned out.

[Phil]

All right, back my dog nation.

[Caller]

There we are.

[Phil]

Where's my dog nation at? Okay. And even for a week, you played your Tech one earlier as well. So.

[Melissa Carty]

Where'S mine? Yeah, we have George State in there.

[Phil]

Is yours in here?

[Melissa Carty]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Hello. We'll find it.

[Tracy]

I really need mine. We play mine.

[Melissa Carty]

Miami.

[Tracy]

Who do you play?

[Phil]

Boise State.

[Tracy]

The sisters of the blind.

[Melissa Carty]

And we're gonna talk about that, but we gotta find, win, drink, get naked.

[Phil]

You know, despite your team's alliance or who you're with or against, it's just so good to see college football back on TV right now.

[Caller]

Ah, yeah.

[Phil]

There's one person getting excited in the city of Atlanta right now.

[Melissa Carty]

No, that's not. She's got a Florida State shirt on today.

[Phil]

Got my Georgia hat on. I got a tattoo.

[Melissa Carty]

Well, you always do.

[Caller]

Thank you, Phil.

[Phil]

No, no problem. All right, so here's what we want. 404741.

[Melissa Carty]

There's a reason for this.

[Phil]

This isn't just.

[Melissa Carty]

Just indulging us.

[Phil]

400-474-11005. Tailgating in the south. It is just it. Weekends are surrounded by it, you know.

[Melissa Carty]

And Burr, you know, too bad he's not here because he's.

[Tracy]

He.

[Melissa Carty]

He now is frustrated with me because I get impatient with him this season because he is always asking. I don't understand the rivalry between Georgia Tech and Georgia, you know, and he. And the rivalry Here and there, everyone understands rivalries. But in the south, it doesn't matter. Like it doesn't matter what your records are. It doesn't matter how you've played with there's that one team that you might play that can make or break your season. If you just win that one game, then your season is a success. Like for Florida State, if they beat Miami on Monday, then their season is a success. Uab, no offense, but so anyway, so tailgating, assess, especially during those games, is extremely important because even though the game may be at 8 o' clock at night, your tailgating experience can even start on Friday night, let alone 8 o' clock on Saturday morning.

[Phil]

I mean, I know people are heading up to Athens first thing tomorrow morning and the game isn't until 5:30 on Saturday night. So here's what we want. We're putting together the Idiot's Guide to Tailgating in the South. Maybe if it's your first time, we're going to help you out. This is how to properly tailgate and enjoy the experience that is tailgating. So we want your rules and your suggestions. 404-741-1005 and I want to put the first one on. Okay, it is. Keep this in mind when you're tailgating. It's a marathon. It's not a race. You see people that get out there and tailgate and start pounding and start drinking. I'm on my college campus. I'm here tailgating. It's a Saturday in Athens or whatever. It's just time to go crazy and by noon they're done.

[Melissa Carty]

There is nothing, nothing worse than to be in a group of friends and I'll bring up my because I went to Tennessee. So there's nothing worse than for all of us when we were in college and to start tailgating and then we're ending up nursing someone who's puking a nail in stadium before kickoff even happens, right? You have got to maintain. You have to know yourself. And like you know, Phil said, it's a marathon. So you have to just keep it, keep it going throughout the day and don't do any stupid activities until at least you, you know, halfway through the game.

[Tracy]

So if you're a veteran tailgater and you've got some of these, give us a call. 404-741-1005. I've got another one to add to the list.

[Melissa Carty]

Okay.

[Tracy]

When you're setting up a tent or setting up your area and you're outside the stadium, you're having somebody come and join You. You've got to have some sort of unique identifier to your area, whether it's your tent, whether you've got a certain flag on the top of the car. You've got to have some sort of identifier that that's your area because everybody's in the college gear. Everybody looks similar because you're all supporting your team, but you've got to have some sort of unique identifier for your spot.

[Melissa Carty]

Very good. Tracy, you have one. No, I'm just listening because I've never been tailgating.

[Tracy]

What?

[Phil]

What?

[Tracy]

Never? You went to UGA for four years.

[Melissa Carty]

I know. And we always just kind of drank around somebody's house or apartment and then just walked to the stadium. I've never actually sat in a parking lot and tailgated.

[Tracy]

We're gonna have to fix that this season.

[Melissa Carty]

Oh, go ahead. Well, mine is if you can, and tell me if this is good for the list. A true tailgater will have a television there because a true college fan is interested in other games, not just the one they're about to go see. Because every other team in your conference determines your standing in your. If you know, you know if you're a true fan. So have some kind of television that works within your vehicle.

[Phil]

Tracey, you call yourself a Georgia fan? I'll tell you what. This is a rookie mistake, but it's it. If it. I'm sure it's happened, especially for the first time. Tailgater. Hey, Ben. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Hey, never forget a bottle opener.

[Melissa Carty]

That makes sense. You're right.

[Phil]

But so true.

[Melissa Carty]

Don't assume everybody else brought one too many. You know, it's better to have too many bottle openers than none.

[Phil]

I've experienced this in Athens when the away team. Just remember, you're partying on someone else's campus, and there's more of them than there are of you. You can talk trash all in fun, but once you start to get physical, remember there's more of the home team than there is of you. I saw that we are the game last year. I don't even know which team it was. It might have been Kentucky or something. And they just started talking trash to where we were tailgating. There's maybe five of them, and there's 25 of us in one tailgating spot. Not to mention all up and down millage where there's 5000 other people and, you know, quarter square mile radius. So just remember, when you talk trash, have fun with it. It's good. It's competitive to talk trash. But don't get physical.

[Melissa Carty]

Yeah, I. And this is not to add to it. It's just to add to what Phil just said when we were up and I forgot what game it was like. It was. Was it the Florida game? No, it was the Georgia game last year, I guess. No, that was in Athens. There was a game in Knoxville. Anyway, last year where we were tailgating and there were somebody. It was after the game and we had won the game, and people were so mad that they started ripping a pair like. Like the flags. They ripped a magnet in two from someone's car. So it's like, we all take our football personally, but don't do that. I mean, that's just disrespectful. Leave everybody's stuff alone.

[Phil]

Good morning, Dee.

[Caller]

Hi. Bloody Mary's. Okay, you have to have Bloody Marys.

[Tracy]

Because you got into town the night before and you're probably sort of hurting to get started.

[Caller]

Well, that's how you get started. And you always have Bloody Marys left over, and you're definitely gonna need them the next morning. You put your Bloody Mary mix all together, and then you're all set for the weekend.

[Melissa Carty]

Perfect.

[Phil]

Good morning, Kristen.

[Caller]

Good morning. I think you have to have lots of bourbon.

[Melissa Carty]

Okay.

[Caller]

You have to drink the bourbon before you can drink the Bloody Marys. And there's one thing you can have enough of for football season. Bourbon.

[Melissa Carty]

Okay.

[Phil]

What's girl from the South?

[Melissa Carty]

Yeah.

[Phil]

What's your team, Kristen? I'm sorry, who's your team?

[Caller]

Auburn. Tigers.

[Phil]

Tigers.

[Melissa Carty]

Well, now, see, you don't have to. You don't have to give your editorial comments to every team. They. Auburn's included. And. Auburn. I forgot who I said. Oh, they play Georgia Tech, actually, this weekend.

[Phil]

Peter.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Phil]

Hey, buddy. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Melissa Carty]

Hi.

[Caller]

Hi. Okay, here's my point. I'm a huge Georgia fan. Went to Georgia. You have to be respectful when you go down to the campus because these kids still have to go to school there. People have to live there. You got to pick up after yourself. Just be a little respectful. Have as much fun. Party, drink up, but be a little respectful of where you're going. And understand, this is a place where you're partying, but people have to live there, too.

[Melissa Carty]

Very good.

[Phil]

Because, you know, in Athens, I don't know if they do this up in Tennessee, but they actually drive around and pass out huge cardboard trash cans to each tailgating spot and say, how many do you need? How many do you need? Good morning, Eddie. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Yeah, you gotta have beer. Lots and lots of beer.

[Phil]

Yes. And Remember, it's an all day thing.

[Melissa Carty]

Now, are you saying. Okay, when you say lots of beer, should we go on and say, be sure and have enough alcohol for visitors? Because in tailgating, people visit car to car and camp to camp. So if you're going to host a tent or host your SUV into this media center, then at least have enough alcohol for random strangers to come up.

[Phil]

It's exactly what Clint has to say. Hey, bud.

[Caller]

Hey. The closer you are to the stadium, the more food and alcohol that you need to have for the people that tailgate far away as they are walking to the stadium.

[Tracy]

That's a good.

[Melissa Carty]

Very good idea. Yes.

[Phil]

That's a great point. Thank you. Good morning, Laurie.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Melissa Carty]

Hi. Hi.

[Caller]

Hi. My advice is to make sure that you're tailgating on the right side. Don't get the oranges mixed up. My brother plays for the Vols, and I just want to make sure that people know where you're tailgating, because when the game starts, no rules.

[Melissa Carty]

So you're saying, like, if you're playing Clemson, like, stay with the orange and white and not the orange and purple, like, make sure.

[Caller]

Exactly. And RuPaul number 94, Jason Hall.

[Melissa Carty]

All right. Yeah.

[Phil]

That's funny. Something must have happened for you to come up with this tip.

[Caller]

What'd you say?

[Phil]

Something must have happened while you were tailgating.

[Caller]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Auburn and Clemson. Yeah. The kinds of things that people say at the tailgating is amazing. Like the opposite. Yeah. I've heard one that I just can't even repeat on air, but, yeah, it's amazing.

[Phil]

Yeah. All right, Good call. Thank you.

[Tracy]

We're putting together the Idiot's Guide to Tailgating in the South. So if you've got some advice for us, you can give us a call. 404-741-1005.

[Melissa Carty]

I'm actually going to add one or add just a little addendum to the one closer to the stadium. Have more food and alcohol for people. I'm going to add chairs to that because I think that you. There was one when one time I was in Knoxville tailgating, they had these cute, even little stools. I don't know where they got them, but collapsible stools, that's enough. But I think a lot of times the best tailgating are the people that have enough chairs for people to sit in. Even they overdo the chairs.

[Phil]

Aaron, good morning.

[Caller]

Aaron, good morning.

[Phil]

Hey, Aaron, go ahead.

[Caller]

Hey, you guys are talking about it being a marathon, and you can't very well have a marathon drinking fest if you don't have any food to suck up that alcohol so you gotta have plenty of food, right?

[Tracy]

What's the best kind of tailgating food, would you say?

[Melissa Carty]

Pardon me?

[Tracy]

What's the best kind of tailgating food, would you say?

[Caller]

Oh, well, the easy stuff to make. Cheap and easy because college students are poor. Hot dogs, hamburgers.

[Melissa Carty]

Okay.

[Caller]

Lots of potatoes. Potatoes suck up alcohol.

[Tracy]

Cool.

[Caller]

Want to drink more, eat more potatoes.

[Melissa Carty]

Cheap and easy for college. Now, what about the alumni who, like, are little, rich and got the Winnebago they probably should need to have sushi and caviar.

[Phil]

No, I'm just kidding. You tell the students from the alumni.

[Caller]

Exactly.

[Phil]

Good morning, Stephanie.

[Caller]

Yes. The one thing you cannot forget. Ice.

[Tracy]

Simple Backup ice.

[Caller]

That's true.

[Tracy]

Very good.

[Phil]

All right, let's go.

[Melissa Carty]

And everybody be sure and say your college's name when you call up because I'd love to hear where everybody's from.

[Phil]

Hey, Tom.

[Caller]

Hey, how you doing, good buddy?

[Phil]

What's going on?

[Caller]

Go Dogs.

[Phil]

Go dogs. God bless you.

[Caller]

Number number one idiot's got number one idiots. Guide to tailgating is you must essential to tailgating, park near a restroom.

[Melissa Carty]

Ah, partner.

[Phil]

So simple. But it makes sense.

[Caller]

Exactly. You're drinking all day. You have to walk a long way. Make a hike to the bathroom. You're in serious trouble.

[Phil]

Thanks. And I would almost add one and say it's probably not a bad idea. If you've got a day game and it's gonna be hot outside until it cools down bring a change of clothes or at least another shirt to wear. Because if you're wearing the same outfit all day by the end of the night, if you're tailgating all day long it might be covered in beer or food. Is that just wet?

[Tracy]

No, that's just you, Phil. You sweat like a pig.

[Phil]

It's not. I think. Admit it.

[Tracy]

I'm kidding.

[Phil]

That's Phil's Idiot's Guide to Tailgating right there. Good.

[Melissa Carty]

Should I add that? Are you saying that's just Phil?

[Phil]

Maybe it's just Phil. I think that's just Phil.

[Melissa Carty]

All right, thanks.

[Phil]

Appreciate that. Kerry, thanks for calling the birth show.

[Caller]

Hi. I just wanted to say that you better take inventory on Saturday night because there's nothing worse than not having any beer on Sunday. And you can't buy beer in the south on Sundays.

[Melissa Carty]

Very good.

[Phil]

Kerry, what's your team?

[Caller]

Uga.

[Phil]

Go Dogs.

[Melissa Carty]

Having a beer for some.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Thank you for calling.

[Phil]

Brennan.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Hey, Brennan. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Okay. You have to have Ziploc baggies. So when you're finished with tailgating ready to go into the game, you can pour your alcohol in the Ziploc baggies to put in your pocket to get into the stadium.

[Tracy]

Ooh, and what school?

[Caller]

Florida State. Jen.

[Tracy]

I almost knew it. That's such a ritual in Florida State. I almost knew she was gonna say that. Oh, that's great. Go, Knowles.

[Caller]

That's great.

[Tracy]

That's great.

[Phil]

Dustin. The Idiot's Guide to Tailgating. What do you got?

[Caller]

Barbecue grill.

[Melissa Carty]

Barbecue grill.

[Phil]

So simple.

[Caller]

Gotta have one.

[Tracy]

All right, now you do the real with the charcoal.

[Caller]

Oh, yeah.

[Tracy]

Okay. All right. Real barbecue grill.

[Caller]

Go, Cane.

[Phil]

Go, Cane.

[Melissa Carty]

All right.

[Phil]

Yeah. James.

[Caller]

Yeah. What's up, man?

[Phil]

Hey, buddy. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Hey. Yeah. You need a cooler.

[Melissa Carty]

Of course.

[Tracy]

You gotta have a cow.

[Caller]

You gotta have a big, big cooler.

[Phil]

James, who's your team?

[Caller]

Tennessee. Ball.

[Melissa Carty]

All right. Go, Balls. Yay. I'm so excited. I think I will actually tear up when, you know, and I'm sure everybody with their team, but when I'm sitting there and then the orange and white comes running out on the field, I'm gonna tear up. I love them.

[Phil]

All right, we'll do one more call here. Aaron.

[Caller]

Hey, what's up, guys? How you guys doing?

[Melissa Carty]

Good.

[Caller]

Hey, at least one person has to have the patented beer hat. You know, with the beers on the.

[Tracy]

Side, somebody has to be the token beer hat guy. What's your story?

[Caller]

Of course, the University of Florida. The Gators.

[Tracy]

All right, all right. Well, I can say it. I can say it this season.

[Phil]

Go, Gators.

[Co-host or Producer]

All right.

[Phil]

I just said that.

[Tracy]

I just said that.

[Phil]

Oh, save that.

[Tracy]

I know. I've softened. I've softened up on the Gators because my hate.

[Melissa Carty]

She's married to one.

[Tracy]

I married one. And then my hate for the hurricanes is. Is 10 times. Is 10 times worse now.

[Caller]

So she must be a patented beer hat drinker.

[Phil]

All right, these last two, we're gonna get through real quick. So, Casey, quickly, what's your idiot's guide?

[Caller]

Go, dogs. First.

[Phil]

Go dogs.

[Caller]

And don't forget your football tickets.

[Phil]

Don't forget the tickets.

[Melissa Carty]

But you're right, that is funny.

[Phil]

And, Alicia, you'll be the last call you add to the list of idiots Guide to Tailgating Bug Spray.

[Melissa Carty]

Very good.

[Caller]

Will tear you up.

[Phil]

And who's your team, Casey?

[Caller]

I'm sorry?

[Phil]

Who's your team?

[Caller]

Go Dogs.

[Phil]

Go, Dogs. Thank you, Casey.

[Melissa Carty]

Appreciate it. Yeah, because it's gonna be. It stays warm in the south past Halloween, so your first two months of football is gonna be in the heat. Well, I'll try to quickly go through these this is a long list of idios Guy detail getting here in the South. And I'll go to the simple ones first. Bring a cooler, bring ice, bring bug spray, bring your football tickets. It's like a laundry list. Also, have enough beer for Sunday, okay? Because once you run out on Saturday night after the game, then Sunday, you can't buy beer in the south on Sunday. So have enough closer to the stadium. Have more food, alcohol and chairs because more people going to the stadium are going to visit your place thanks to Florida State. Take a Ziploc bag that you carry in the alcohol into the stadium when you're done. Remember, it's a marathon and I'm going to say not a dash because you want to make sure it carries through the rest of the, through the rest of the day. It's a unique identifier to the area or the tent that you're staying at because everybody's gonna have either their red and black, their origin white. You know, they're, they're blue and they're, they're, I'm sorry, they're navy and yellow. I don't know exactly how to say the tech colors. Have TV to watch the other games within your vehicle. Never forget the bottle opener. Know where you are. Know where you are even if you're, if you're on the visitors campus because there's more of them than there is of you. Also, if you're on your own campus, be respectful. Clean up after yourselves. And then your arsenal of alcohol. Yes, have the beer, but also have Bloody Mary's and have bourbon. And all this will be on all the hits Q100 on the Burt show page. And so this weekend is the first weekend of college football. So be sure and look over this list before you head to Athens or you head to Auburn.

[Phil]

The Burt Show.

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[Phil]

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[Co-host or Producer]

All right, remember, the machine knows if you're lying.

[Tracy]

First statement, Carvana will give you a.

[Melissa Carty]

Real offer on your car.

[Co-host or Producer]

All online.

[Phil]

False. True.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Actually, you can sell your car in minutes.

[Phil]

False.

[Caller]

That's gotta true again.

[Melissa Carty]

Carvana will pick up your car from.

[Caller]

Your door or you can drop it.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Off at one of their car vending machines.

[Verizon Announcer]

Sounds too good to be true.

[Melissa Carty]

So true.

[Caller]

Finally caught on.

[Melissa Carty]

Nice job.

[Caller]

Honesty isn't just their policy, it's their entire model. Sell your car today too, Carvana.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Pickup fees may apply. Melissa told us a story yesterday, an amazing story yesterday. And if you have ever bore a child, this is an amazing, amazing story as it goes.

[Melissa Carty]

Right? Well, first, the child's name now is Miracle. And that poor Miracle as a teenager will have to hear what I'm about to say over and over again. She has no leverage with her mother ever again. So her 21 year old mother was going into labor in Florida and drove herself to the hospital. And then on the way to the hospital, she had a massive contraction to the point she lost control of the car and it went off the road into a canal. So in the process of the wreck, the woman broke her leg, okay, but she still, she was going into labor. So she gave birth to her child, who she named Miracle, in the car with a broken leg. So then a deputy happened to be passing by and happened to see the woman as she was trying to get out of her car. Now that was the original story. And then there's another story that she was already on top of the car because the car was in the water. And so she got help from the deputy to get her and the child out. But the child still had the umbilical cord attached, of course, because she gave birth to her own child in her own car. They were both taken to the hospital and both are doing okay. She, of course, has the broken leg and her daughter Miracle is doing fine.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

All right, let's separate fact from fiction because we actually have Kenyetta on with us. Right now. Good morning, Kenyetta. How are you today?

[Caller]

I'm fine. Good morning.

[Phil]

Good morning.

[Melissa Carty]

I feel the need to stand up and clap.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Seriously. I mean, that's amazing. What has happened to you over the last 48 hours is the story that we have. Pretty much accurate?

[Caller]

Pretty much. The first story, I wasn't on top of the car. I was, like, hanging outside of the door. My left leg, the one that's not broken, was actually pushing my body up from out of the door. So it's like my upper. My upper body is outside, you know, like, waving, and the lower part of my body is still inside the car. I couldn't.

[Co-host or Producer]

And we're out.

[Caller]

No, far then I couldn't get. I couldn't go back inside the car.

[Co-host or Producer]

And where was the baby at this point?

[Caller]

I hadn't delivered her then.

[Co-host or Producer]

Right, but you were holding on to her in your hand or she was sitting?

[Caller]

No, I. I was still pregnant with her.

[Co-host or Producer]

Oh, okay.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

She hadn't delivered at that point?

[Caller]

No. And after I was screaming, you know, for help, she just came. You know, she fell onto the seat. I still couldn't touch her. I never did touch her till I got to the hospital because my upper part was outside of the car.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Unbelievable. So she's kind of stuck inside, half in, half out of the car as you're kicking to try to get the door open. That's when the baby comes out?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Melissa Carty]

Wow.

[Tracy]

Believable. How long were you there by yourself before the paramedics arrived?

[Caller]

Like, two and a half hours.

[Tracy]

Two and a half hours.

[Co-host or Producer]

Oh, my God.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

So hold on a second. I've got to, like, put this thing together in my mind. The car at this point is in the canal.

[Caller]

Yes. But it's level at a point where the water or whatever was coming in was on the driver's side and the passenger side was facing the road. So when I realized that the water was coming in, I had moved to the passenger side.

[Melissa Carty]

Okay.

[Caller]

And it was tilt. So you know what I'm saying? The water couldn't get to my side just because how the car was tilted.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

So for two and a half hours, you are waiting for the paramedics to get there while your baby is in the front seat of the car?

[Caller]

Yes, on the passenger seat.

[Melissa Carty]

Now, how long? Because at first, nobody knew you had the wreck. Nobody knew you were in the car. And is it correct when I said that the deputy was passing by and saw you?

[Caller]

Yes, that's right.

[Melissa Carty]

And how long had it. Was it before the deputy saw you?

[Caller]

That's what I'm saying he. It was. I was out there at least two and a half hours before anyone came.

[Melissa Carty]

So she wasn't waiting on paramedics. She was waiting on just somebody to see her. Nobody knew she was there.

[Caller]

And it was like within five minutes that. You know what I'm saying, After the police came, that the ambulance followed after the deputy.

[Tracy]

Now, how did the baby function? I mean, aren't babies born, like, covered in a whole bunch of stuff and, like. Yeah, I mean, normally when they're born in the hospital, the doctors have to, like, suck their nose out and their mouth and make sure, you know, that they're doing good. But, I mean, how did your little baby function?

[Co-host or Producer]

Can I have water rinsed her off?

[Caller]

She. No, I couldn't touch her. The only part of me that could touch her was my left leg. My right leg is broken that was pushed into the light. The head. The head, rest of the passenger seat. So, like, if mosquitoes or something was biting her. And I turned to see that I used my left leg, you know what I'm saying, to kick the kick and move her so that she could make noise, you know what I'm saying? She cried for a while, then she'll stop crying. Then when she stopped crying, I used my legs, you know what I'm saying? The wedge had to make sure that she was all right. But as far as suction or whatever, all that was still in there, she. It was good. I can't explain anything else any better.

[Melissa Carty]

Miracle, I think it shows you with the power of nature. Because before hospitals, there were, you know, the, you know, there's plenty of natural births that have taken place without hospital. So it shows you that, you know.

[Tracy]

But it's like she wasn't even able to wipe the baby off with her hands or, like, do anything herself. I mean, she had one foot to do this with and the baby survived. You're right.

[Melissa Carty]

It's.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

The umbilical cord was still attached when the paramedics got there, correct?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Melissa Carty]

I mean, so she couldn't do anything. She couldn't do anything.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

She's a broken leg and couldn't do anything.

[Tracy]

This is unreal.

[Melissa Carty]

Well, it's like I said earlier, you know, because you named your child Miracle. That's correct, yes. Okay. Because I said. I joked earlier about how Miracle's never going to be able to say anything to you, right? Because, I mean, all you have to do is bring up this story to her and then she'll behave from now on out.

[Caller]

I hope so. You know what I'M saying you can't use that against her.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Yes, you can.

[Caller]

But, you know.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Yes, you will. Now, there's a subplot to this whole thing, too, because your dad had no idea you were pregnant.

[Caller]

No.

[Phil]

None.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

He found out the day that you got to the hospital?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Phil]

Wow.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

How do you keep that secret for nine months?

[Caller]

It was. It wasn't that hard because I go to work and I go to school every day. You know what I'm saying? And I wear clothes to school. So when I'm in school, the clothes are big. And I have on my red uniform directly after school, and they are big. So when I come home from work, it's late and I'm tired, so I go to sleep. You know what I'm saying? I interact with my family. But as far as just going anywhere, that part wasn't hard. It just the part with me figuring out what I'm gonna do the next day. Okay, will I say something tomorrow or I'm gonna say something tomorrow. You know what I'm saying? That was basically the hardest part.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

And you guys live in the same house?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Nine months.

[Melissa Carty]

Good news and bad news, dad. Bad news. I had a rat. Good news is the baby survives.

[Caller]

One baby.

[Tracy]

And by the way, I'm pregnant.

[Co-host or Producer]

That's what happened when the paramedics called your dad, and he came down there right away to see. He saw you, made sure you're okay, and then they said, would you like to hold your granddaughter? And he's like, my who? What?

[Melissa Carty]

Right. Yeah.

[Caller]

No.

[Co-host or Producer]

And they're like, your granddaughter. And he's like.

[Caller]

It was pretty weird.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Now that things have calmed down a little bit, has he had a chance to ask you, like, the details of.

[Caller]

Like, he know because I didn't say it a hundred times. He about to know the story better than me.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Do you feel comfortable enough telling us why you didn't tell him for nine months?

[Caller]

I don't know myself.

[Co-host or Producer]

Just one of those things. One of those things you'll get to tomorrow.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

You just never quite got around to it.

[Caller]

I just. Yeah, I just didn't. I don't know why.

[Co-host or Producer]

I've got a window that's in my bedroom that's kind of coming loose from the frame, and I'm gonna have to replace that. I've been putting that off for a while. That's okay. You didn't tell the, you know, your family that you're pregnant. That could. You got a time limit. Like, that window can be loose for as long as I live in the house. But you got Nine months.

[Caller]

And that's, that's, that's what was the problem. Because I, like, I got nine months, okay? I'm gonna tell them in the third. I'm gonna tell them in the fourth, then the fifth is too late.

[Melissa Carty]

Since I've come this long.

[Tracy]

So is it. Is that why you drove yourself to the hospital? Because nobody knew?

[Caller]

Yeah, because. You know what I'm saying? I could have woke them up. I could have woke my sister up. It just that it wasn't planned. It just. I was going off instinct. The first thing came to my head, okay, Dude, I wasn't thinking to wake them up or nothing like that, because me and my sister close, we like the same age or whatever. I could have woke up, but I just didn't. I just left.

[Co-host or Producer]

What do you think?

[Caller]

You weren't planned at all?

[Co-host or Producer]

What do you think the bigger shock would be? Like you six or seven months along, going, hey, mom, dad, listen, I gotta tell you something. Or nine and a half months later, just walking home with an infant one day.

[Caller]

I thought about that, too. I don't know.

[Tracy]

Maybe.

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Melissa Carty]

So. And now. So she keeps it secret for nine months and now the entire country.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Right, Right. Not a secret anymore.

[Co-host or Producer]

Well, congratulations. Right? I mean, everybody's doing fine. Everybody's healthy, so congratulations.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

I mean, except for that, the broken leg, everybody else is doing fine, right?

[Caller]

It's fine. I'm actually at the doctor now, getting ready to walk in, but other than that, I'm great.

[Phil]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

I'm glad you took a couple of minutes to talk to us, because it's really. It's an amazing story. And for any woman that hasn't had a baby yet, everybody handles the contractions a little bit differently. I guess this one was just so painful that you just couldn't focus on what was going on on the road, huh?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Co-host or Producer]

At that point, well, probably comes, you know, as a surprise when I was driving you.

[Caller]

Yeah, hold on a minute. Cause I'm like, trying to get out of the car. Cause the doctors are like, right here.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

We'll let you go now.

[Co-host or Producer]

Yeah, we can let you go.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Yeah, we'll let you go. That's fine. Thank you for talking to us. Appreciate it.

[Caller]

All right. Thank you.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

All right, Kenyatta. Bye. Bye. That thing is strange on a couple different levels, huh?

[Co-host or Producer]

She's funny.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer]

I was gonna tell him in the third month, then the fourth month, and by the fifth, it was kind of too late. Well, what were you gonna do with the kid? Hey, look what I found.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Johnny. Good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Melissa Carty]

Hey.

[Phil]

Hey, guys.

[Caller]

What's going on, man?

[Phil]

What's up? Great.

[Caller]

Yeah, I'm a paramedic in New York. I used to be a paramedic in New York. And, you know, you guys are wondering why the baby survives so long without that suction or whatever, but the baby is still connected to the umbilical cord and he's still getting the oxygen from the mom. So that's why the baby survives so.

[Co-host or Producer]

Long and it just flows through the blood.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

I mean, think of that scene, though. She's hanging half in, half out, umbilical cord is dangling and keeping the life between the two of them while she's got a broken leg and trying to kick the door open with her other leg. That is a tough woman right there.

[Caller]

She's insane tough. Human beings are, man.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

Serious.

[Tracy]

She was swatting away mosquitoes away from the baby and nudging the baby with the one leg that she could to make sure the baby would keep crying and stay like.

[Co-host or Producer]

Sounds like a scene from an Outcast video.

[Tracy]

I don't know if you could even make that up.

[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

It's a tough, tough woman, but she's not brave enough to tell her dad that she was pregnant for nine months.

[Tracy]

Good point.

[Phil]

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[Tracy]

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[Phil]

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[Melissa Carty]

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[Phil]

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[Caller]

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[Melissa Carty]

Here's a show that we recommend.

[Tracy]

For centuries, colonization has fractured our relationship with the land.

[Melissa Carty]

We've come to position ourselves outside, outside.

[Tracy]

Of nature as observers and masters of it, as if it were ours to control and bend to our will. But the earth pushes back, reminding us otherwise. I'm Leah Thomas.

[Melissa Carty]

I'm the founder of the nonprofit Intersectional Environmentalist.

[Tracy]

And I'm excited to be returning as your host for season four of as she Rises.

[Melissa Carty]

This season we're exploring rewilding.

[Tracy]

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[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

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[Host (possibly Kenyetta's interviewer)]

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