The Bert Show

Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode: Full Show PT 3: Monday, December 8
Date: December 8, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives headfirst into delightfully awkward territory as listeners share "uncomfortable teacher-student encounters" and stories about bumping into educators (or students) in questionable situations. The second half of the show unpacks a hilarious-yet-bizarre dating drama involving mistaken identity in a family photo. In classic Bert Show style, the cast and callers exchange raw, honest reactions, plenty of laughs, and genuine attempts to crowdsource the truth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Awkward Teacher-Student Encounters in the Wild

(01:33 – 09:29)

• Main Theme: Teachers and students inevitably cross paths outside class—often in places they'd rather not.

• Highlights:

  • Bert introduces the topic, sharing a friend's discomfort at running into former students at Hooters and a strip club.
  • Listeners call in with cringe-worthy stories, including:
    • A teacher who drunkenly runs into a student and his parents at Dave & Buster’s during happy hour (02:07).
    • A high school senior bumps into her wrestling coach while shopping in an adult novelty store (Starship) (03:42).
    • A caller sees his old college professor leaving a peep booth at an adult store at 2 AM (04:54).
    • A former student recognizes her attractive English teacher "Lisa" at her sister’s party—awkwardness ensues (05:30).

• Notable Banter:

  • On failed attempts to act sober:

    "You think you're being cool, but you're fidgety and spitty..."
    -- Co-host Bert (02:53)

  • On men in adult stores:

    "Guys, it's almost like they're wearing trench coats and caps and sunglasses."
    -- Co-host Bert (04:38)

  • On when NOT to acknowledge a teacher:

    "If I'm walking out of a peep booth... that's not the time to approach me."
    -- Host Burt (06:40)

• Insight: Boundaries between teachers and students are blurry out in real life, making for unforgettably awkward encounters and some solid radio entertainment.

2. The Case of the Mystery Photo: Danny vs. Sandy

(09:44 – 23:03)

Background

Danny calls in with a wild story: After meeting Sandy at a party, he spots a suspiciously familiar, cozy picture of the two of them together on Sandy’s fridge when picking her up for a date. He is certain it's of them from two years ago—she insists it’s her and her brother.

The Confrontation

• Host Burt: Recaps the situation and opens lines for both Danny and Sandy.

• Sandy's Defense: She’s adamant—the man in the photo isn’t Danny, it's her little brother (in a red sweater, spiked hair). She offers to bring the photo to the studio as proof (13:15–15:42).

• Danny’s Stance:

  “It looks exactly like me. I mean, it’s me!”
  -- Danny (14:09)

  He maintains he studied the photo for over a minute and is convinced.

• Sandy counters:

  “If there’s a resemblance, I don’t see it.”
  -- Sandy (16:56)
  She points out that being attracted to Danny—and not her brother—proves her case.

• Tracy’s Producer Logic:
  “If someone’s unwilling to participate in proving something, that’s guilt right there.” (22:09)

• Show’s Solution:
  The team suggests Sandy brings in the original picture for date verification. If Danny emails a photo of himself, the hosts will compare and post both online for the audience to judge (18:10–18:26).

Listener Opinions

• Most (especially women) side with Sandy, believing her story is more plausible (19:26–19:41).
• One listener shares a similar doppelganger experience where even close friends were fooled, lending some credibility to Danny’s confusion (19:55–21:03).

The Final Twist

• Danny refuses to send a photo unless Sandy agrees to go out with him again (21:20–21:33).

• Producer Tracy (and the rest of the cast) see this as suspicious, if not slightly unhinged (21:34–22:16).

  • “To me, that says, Danny’s the nuts one.” – Tracy (21:34)

• The cast riffs:

  "He's not evil. He's just purdy."
  -- Host Burt (22:34) "Danny, you're so cute. You're so purty."
  -- Co-host Bert (22:36)

• They agree: Only the picture’s date will settle it. If Sandy delivers, she clears her name in “Listener Land.” If not, she’s dubbed “queen of crazy” (18:26–18:32).

3. Classic Phone Scam Segment – The Costco Sample Police

(26:50 – 30:39)

• A show favorite: The team prank-calls a woman, accusing her of “over sampling” cheese sticks at Costco and threatening to revoke her membership.
• Highlights:
  • She vehemently argues her innocence:

    “The samples were free. Hazel, or whatever her name is, said I could have some and I took some. I was hungry.” (28:46)

  • Host reveals the prank:

    “This is Jeff from the Bert Show at Q100 radio and you’ve just been phone scammed courtesy of your husband.” (30:30)

Key Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Awkward student-teacher sightings: 01:33–09:29
• Danny-Sandy Mystery Photo drama: 09:44–23:03
• Classic phone scam (Costco samples): 26:50–30:39

Memorable Quotes

• "You think you're being cool, but you're being fidgety and spitty..."
  -- Co-host Bert (02:53)

• "If I'm walking out of a peep booth... that's not the time to approach me."
  -- Host Burt (06:40)

• “It looks exactly like me. I mean, it’s me!”
  -- Danny (14:09)

• “If there’s a resemblance, I don’t see it.”
  -- Sandy (16:56)

• “To me, that says, Danny’s the nuts one.”
  -- Producer Tracy (21:34)

• “He’s not evil. He’s just purdy.”
  -- Host Burt (22:34)

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and full of playful ribbing between cast and callers. It blends laugh-out-loud moments with a grounding sense of humanity, especially as listeners rally to defend Sandy’s reputation. The cast excels at keeping the mood light even as they collectively puzzle over the “photo mystery.”

Whether you’re in it for relatable embarrassments, classic prank calls, or the delightfully messy drama of mistaken identity, this is quintessential Bert Show: funny, real, and refreshingly unfiltered.