The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, February 9 [Vault]

Air Date: February 9, 2026
Host & Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Episode Theme: Modern Love, Wedding Rings, and Dysfunctional Wedding Stories

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives deep into two interconnected themes:

• The emotional and superstitious baggage of buying engagement or wedding rings tied to failed relationships, and
• Listeners calling in with wild, dysfunctional wedding and relationship stories in a lively “can you top this?” contest.

With Bert and the crew facilitating, the conversation is honest, humorous, and unfiltered, putting daily relationship drama under a hilarious, relatable microscope.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Selling a "Jinxed" Wedding/Engagement Ring (00:00 – 10:30)

Ashley's Dilemma: How to Sell Her Ring

• Ashley calls in, explaining she's been trying (unsuccessfully) to sell her wedding and engagement ring set after ending her marriage. She now has the option for a $5,000 store credit and wants to sell that for less cash so others—in need of an engagement ring—can use the credit for a better deal and she gets some money back ([00:00–01:39]).
• The show discusses the practicality, and emotional or superstitious issues in buying or wearing a ring (or using store credit) associated with a failed marriage.

Key Quotes & Discussions

• Bert: “I fully believe there are women out there who would be upset… if their engagement ring was purchased using a gift certificate that's tied to another engagement ring where the marriage failed.” ([03:32])
• Cast: Debate whether it's just superstition, or if there's a more rational hesitation. Is the problem the physical ring, or does the “bad karma” attach even to the store credit?

Listener Reactions

• Kelly: “We were so totally strapped for cash that I would definitely push him to take the gift certificate. It's free money.” ([05:23])
• Hosts look for dissenters, especially women who would refuse; Bert: “I want the woman who's like, no way... I will take a smaller ring rather than take a ring that is connected to a marriage that didn't work out.” ([05:46])
• Erica: Shares her fiancé traded in his ex’s ring for her new, better ring, and she's fine with it: “I now have an $8,000 ring on my skirt.” ([06:31])
• Other caller: Admits she’s too superstitious: “I'm all for a bargain, but when it was from another woman's ring, I'm not too sure about that.” ([07:17])

The Jewelry Store Angle

• The crew wonders: When stores take back rings, do they inform new buyers it’s “pre-owned” or from a failed marriage?
• Jeweler listener: Confirms that stores often just clean up and resell sets or repurpose diamonds: “You always resell those sets… plenty of women in Atlanta are wearing a jinx ring and have no idea.” ([09:26])

Another Notable Quote

• Bert: “If the cash was in front of her… my guess is she's wrapping her arms around the 20 stacks and the big stone and running the hell out of there.” ([10:32])

2. Dysfunctional Wedding Stories – “Beat Our Royal Flush” (11:06 – 23:47)

The cast launches a contest for the most dysfunctional wedding or relationship story—hilarity and jaw-drops ensue.

Top Listeners’ Stories

• Alexis: At her friend’s wedding, the bride’s mother stood up during the ceremony and announced she (and the bride’s father) had been having threesomes with the groom for six months. The bride attacked the groom, collapsed sobbing; “She’s still in therapy, it’s been three years.” ([11:27–13:00])

  • Notable Quote: “Her parents were having a threesome with the groom. That is solid. That is a tough, tough hand to beat.” — Bert ([12:08])

• Amber: Was dumped by her fiancé after the church marriage counselor (an older woman) intervened, then watched as he married the counselor…the same day Amber was supposed to be wed. The counselor told him God didn’t want them together! ([13:40–14:34])

  • Cast: “Oh, no, she didn’t!” ([14:34])

• Veronica: Married a man and divorced after 11 years—then her ex-husband married his stepsister. Both had grown up together (no blood relation), but it’s confusing and awkward to explain. ([14:56–16:33])

• Christy (voice disguiser): Learned her mother’s grandmother and father’s grandmother are sisters, making her parents cousins—“at reunions everyone is related more than one time.” ([22:31–23:43])

Show’s Own “In-Progress” Dysfunctional Story

• A co-host shares a convoluted real-time story:
  • A bride (former model) is marrying a groom, but had an affair with a female bridesmaid (also a former model and out lesbian), with the groom oblivious. The bridesmaid is in love with the bride and will stand beside her as she marries the groom this weekend. Unresolved as of air date. ([17:22–22:12])
  • “She is there right now… I want to hire a photographer just on the lesbian, because she's gonna blow before this is…” ([21:33])

Notable Quotes (With Timestamps)

• “There are women who would be annoyed that the husband… did some weird negotiation transaction… to get them their ring.” – Bert ([04:14])
• “You don't want [your ring] passed on from another relationship, especially something that's failed.” – Elaine ([10:14])
• “There are plenty of women in Atlanta who are wearing a jinx ring and have no idea.” – D ([09:41])
• “Her parents were having a threesome with the groom. That is solid. That is a tough, tough hand to beat.” – Bert ([12:08])
• “She broke up the two of you, and then they turned around and got married. How long after that?” – A ([14:24])
• “Every time you tell somebody, you have to explain it because they say your stepfather's stepdaughter in law, stepbrother… and you're like, yeah.” – Veronica ([16:33])

Memorable Moments & Tone

• The ongoing debate about “bad mojo” and rings is vintage Bert Show: honest and funny, but it takes seriously how deeply people can attach emotion and superstition to symbols of love.
• The call-ins are sometimes jaw-dropping, sometimes relatable; the cast balances outrage and humor, constantly looking for the “no way, that’s too wild” scenario.
• The in-progress wedding story, with its unresolved drama, gets the crew buzzing with speculation and mock bets about what will go down.

Timeline & Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Ashley calls in—tries to unload her wedding/engagement ring via store credit | | 01:39 | Explains the unusual credit-for-cash trade proposal | | 03:32 | Bert and crew debate “bad juju” attached to rings/store credit | | 05:23 | Kelly: “It’s free money”—listener support for the credit idea | | 07:17 | Superstitious caller: “Not sure I’d want a ring from another woman’s failed marriage” | | 09:26 | Jeweler: most stores just resell sets or re-set diamonds, “jinx” included | | 11:06 | Kick-off of dysfunctional wedding stories contest | | 11:27 | Alexis: parents’ threesome with groom revealed at the altar | | 13:40 | Amber: fiancé dumps her for the marriage counselor, marries her instead | | 14:56 | Veronica: ex-husband marries his stepsister—navigating the family tree confusion | | 17:22 | Co-host introduces the “in progress” story: bride/lesbian bridesmaid affair, secret at imminent wedding | | 22:31 | Christy: learns her parents are cousins via shared great-grandmothers |

Summary Table: Positions on the “Bad Karma Ring” Debate

| Person | Position | Quote | |----------------------------|------------------------------------------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | Ashley (caller) | Wants to sell/store credit, empathetic | “Just trying to help someone out and get extra change in my pocket.” ([02:07]) | | Bert | Thinks some women will find it unacceptable | “I believe... there are women... who would be annoyed... if it had any connection to a failed marriage.” ([04:25]) | | Kelly (caller) | Practical, pro-credit | “…I would definitely push him to get... the gift certificate... It’s free money.” ([05:23]) | | Erica (caller) | Okay with traded-in ring/credit | “…I was totally fine... I now have that $8,000 ring...” ([06:31]) | | Superstitious caller | Won’t risk it | “…when it was from another woman's ring, I'm not too sure about that.” ([07:17]) | | Elaine (caller) | Only fine for non-engagement jewelry | “…beautiful diamond earrings or a pendant... Anything but engagement or wedding ring...” ([10:14]) |

Tone & Language

• Original: Honest, fast, and playful. Cast uses sarcasm, banter, and frequent interruptions.
• Listener Calls: Earnest and gossipy, with a range from matter-of-fact to “no way!” incredulity.
• Swings between deeply practical and gleefully superstitious.

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a goldmine of modern love realities: the comedy—and agony—of making practical decisions with emotional baggage, a window into the business of secondhand diamonds, and proof that wedding drama knows no bounds.
If you like relatable, fast-paced, and slightly outrageous relationship talk, this vault episode is a must-listen.