Full Show PT 3: Monday, January 19 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, January 19 [Vault]

Air Date: January 19, 2026
Main Theme: The unpredictable, humorous, and sometimes “psycho” behavior people exhibit during emotional breakups, plus a listener quest for closure over a 4-year-old ambiguous comment from a close friend.

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Episode Overview

In this lively installment of The Bert Show, the cast welcomes listeners to share their wildest "Psycho Hall of Fame" breakup stories—those moments when they acted wildly out of character in the throes of heartache. The hosts engage with callers about true (and truly strange) events, debate what breaks through to “hall of fame” status, and share some real head-scratchers from their own experiences. Later, the show pivots to a discussion about ambiguous comments in friendships when a listener confronts her best friend over a four-year-old remark that’s haunted her since.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Psycho Hall of Fame: Breakup-Induced Insanity

Segment Starts: [00:00]

• Premise: After a breakup, "otherwise healthy" people sometimes become unrecognizable—even to themselves. The show seeks listener confessions for "The Psycho Hall of Fame."
• Quote:

  "These are normal people, average people, every day, pretty healthy folks. But after the breakup, they've just gone psycho."
  —Burt, [00:14]

Wildest Nominee Stories

• The Watcher in Black:

  • An ex-boyfriend, wearing all black, tries to watch his ex go to sleep outside her apartment and ends up getting hit by a car.
  • Jessica recounting, [00:46–01:12]

• Movie Scene Recreation:

  • Jessica admits convincing her husband to chase her around the house with a knife, reenacting a slasher movie scene for kicks.
  • Jessica, [01:23–01:32]

• The Cell Phone Con:

  • A woman, obsessed with her ex's new interest "Nicole," sets up a fake voicemail and changes all the Nicole entries in his phone to her fake number.
  • Jessica, [01:36–02:09]

• Stalking and Vandalism:

  • A caller confesses to stalking her ex by sneaking into his gated apartment and keying his car after catching him with someone new.
  • Caller, [04:24–04:47]

• 5,000 Magazine Subscriptions:

  • A military husband, in retaliation for divorce proceedings, signs his ex-wife up for thousands of magazine and newspaper subscriptions.
  • Caller, [05:41–06:57]

• Laxative Revenge:

  • After being cheated on during a hospital stay, a woman bakes brownies laced with Ex-Lax for her ex-boyfriend, landing him in the hospital.

  "Well, the brownies were a little tainted. I basically put six boxes of Ex Lax in the brownies."
  —Caller, [07:20]

  • The conversation expands to a similar collegiate story where "pot brownies" doomed a man to fail a drug test.
  • Jeff, [08:29–08:59]

• Full Destruction:

  • A woman admits to not just food tampering, but also cleaning toilets with her ex's toothbrush and outing his affair to colleagues and the other woman's spouse.
  • Caller, [09:21–10:17]

• Bushes & Broken Leg:

  • Jessica recounts an episode from 15 years ago: spying on her ex in the bushes, getting caught, breaking her leg while escaping—with her toddler son witnessing it all. She's officially inducted into the Psycho Hall of Fame with a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek oath.
  • Jessica, [10:33–12:56]

Hosts’ Reflections

• On "Premeditation" vs. "Crime of Passion":
  • The crew debates what separates hall of fame insanity (requiring planning and creativity) from mere heat-of-the-moment actions like keying a car.

  "It has to be more premeditated than the act of passion. Like the keying a car is… in the moment, emotional, keyed the car. But mailing something and waiting three days… that's going and buying…"
  —Mike, [05:06]

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2. Phone Scam Segment

Segment Starts: [13:23]

• Premise: A staged prank call where a fake coworker claims to have found (and snooped through) a vacationing colleague's personal laptop, threatening to post her bikini photos online and giving unsolicited advice about her boyfriend Brian.
  • The target, Jamie, becomes increasingly uncomfortable and incredulous before learning it’s all a prank organized by her coworkers.

  "This is actually Jeff with the Birch show at all the hits Q100. And this is a Phone scam from everyone in your office who hates Brian."
  —Jeff, [18:44]

Notable Reactions

• Jamie’s mounting horror and threats:

  "Do you realize you can lose your job over this? ... That's personal."
  —Jamie, [17:35]

• The instant relief and laughter at the reveal:

  "Oh my god, are you kidding me?... I thought he was like, this guy's a weirdo."
  —Jamie, [18:48]

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3. "What Did You Mean By That?"—Listener Seeks Friendship Closure

Segment Starts: [19:12]

Setup

• Listener Tammy has spent four years wondering what her best friend Mike meant when he once said:

  "You're the type of girl who'd make a guy like me fall head over heels in love with them."
  —Tammy recounting, [22:15]

• She never addressed it at the time; now, with show support, she wants closure.

The Group Analyzes

• Team Theory:
  • Hosts believe Mike was trying to test the waters romantically, offering a "cryptic confession" to gauge Tammy's reaction without direct risk.

  "I think he was trying to cryptically say I'm in love with you without saying I'm in love with you."
  —Jen Hobby, [25:47]

The Live Call

On-Air Discussion with Mike

• Tammy asks directly about the comment after four years.

  • Mike admits he was "really, really into" Tammy at the time and considering pursuing more than friendship—but after no response (and the moment being interrupted), he moved on.

  "At the time, Tammy, I was actually... really, really into you at the time."
  —Mike, [29:30]

• When asked if he’s still interested:

  • Mike says he now only sees her as a friend and is seeing someone new, but values their friendship deeply.

  "Right now I just, you know, I kind of don't see her as any more... more than a friend, you know?"
  —Mike, [30:39]

• Tammy processes the answer—trying to be gracious but slightly hurt by the lost opportunity.

  • The hosts sympathize with her awkwardness, reminding listeners about how people can build up stories in their heads for years without closure.

Emotional Honesty

• Tammy expresses some disappointment but accepts the outcome.

  "That was your way of me, and I guess that was my missed opportunity and react to it right then. But everything's fine now..."
  —Tammy, [33:00]

• Jen Hobby reflects on the satisfaction women sometimes take in keeping friends around who might like them, and the "torture" this can be for male friends.

  "It's kind of this mean, torturous thing we do to guys. Guy friends in our life, but we do it."
  —Jen Hobby, [35:27]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On breakup madness:

  "We've all been there. Everybody's had one." —Burt, [13:04]

• On brownie revenge:

  "Well, the brownies were a little tainted. I basically put six boxes of Ex Lax in the brownies." —Caller, [07:20]

• On cryptic romantic signals:

  "You're the type of girl who'd make a guy like me fall head over heels in love with them."
  —Mike (as recalled by Tammy), [22:15]

• On missed moments:

  "It was never talked about, you know, or brought up again. So I just kind of moved on, I guess, and just assume that you weren't feeling the same way that I was four years ago."
  —Mike, [30:01]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00] - Show open, "Psycho Hall of Fame" topic intro
• [00:46] - Listeners and hosts share wild breakup stories
• [05:41] - 5,000 magazine subscriptions divorce revenge story
• [07:16] - Laxative revenge brownies
• [09:21] - Full-on revenge campaign (toothbrush, affairs, etc.)
• [10:33] - Jessica’s bush-spying, broken-leg story & induction oath
• [13:23] - Phone scam prank call starts
• [19:12] - "What Did You Mean By That?" segment begins
• [22:15] - Tammy's ambiguous quote recalled
• [28:01] - Tammy directly asks Mike about the old statement
• [29:30] - Mike confesses past feelings
• [30:39] - Mike: Now just friends, with someone new
• [33:15] - Tammy and Mike agree to remain friends, hosts debrief

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show highlights the humor, pain, and confusion that comes with love, breakups, and mixed signals. Through outrageous listener stories and a compelling live friendship drama, the show emphasizes being real, vulnerable, and unafraid to laugh at even the most embarrassing moments of our past. Anyone who's ever had a cringe-worthy breakup or wondered "What did they mean by that?" will find themselves reflected—and thoroughly entertained—here.

Transcript

[Burt]

The third show, I think we have all said before that at one point or another, when you're breaking up, probably you've become a person that you normally aren't. You know what I'm saying? Like, you've just snapped over the breakup and you've become this creature, this crazy freaking creature that is capable of doing it anything. After the breakup, and we induct you into the height. Into the psycho hall of Fame, when you can call us and you can go, okay, here's what I did. And we have got story after story after story for inductees that have gone into the psycho hall of Fame. These are normal people, average people, every day, pretty healthy folks. But after the breakup, they've just gone psycho. Here's some examples for you guys that aren't playing right now.

[Jessica]

I get a call from an ex boyfriend, and he's in the hospital. And I am talking to him. I'm like, what is going on? And he said, well, I just wanted to watch you go to sleep. And I was wearing all black and got hit by a car and.

[Jeff]

Wait, wait, hold on.

[Tammy]

Say that again.

[Jeff]

Say it again.

[Jessica]

He was outside of my apartment watching me walk around. I guess he said he wanted to watch me go to sleep. Like, my lights go out and stuff.

[Jeff]

And he was wearing. He was wearing all black.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And he got hit by a car and wanted me to come to the hospital to see him. You know how in scary movies there's always a chick with really big boobs running from the scary man with a knife?

[Burt]

Sure.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Jessica]

I wanted to see what I would do in the same situation, so I made my husband chase me with a knife.

[Tammy]

So he didn't want to do it.

[Jessica]

At first, but he was standing by the. The knife block.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And then all of a sudden, he pulled the butcher knife out and he said, okay, go.

[Tammy]

There was this guy that I really liked.

[Jessica]

He just never wanted to actually be my boyfriend. And he used to always talk about this one girl that he met through work named Nicole. And I went out and I bought another cell phone, and I got my friend to record the voicemail to say, like, nicole.

[Tammy]

So it would say, you have reached.

[Jessica]

The voice mailbox of. And then her voice would kick in and say, nicole. And then one of the times when I hung out with him, he went to the. And I just kind of took his cell phone off the table, and he.

[Tammy]

Had two numbers in there for her.

[Jessica]

And I changed them both to the cell phone number.

[Burt]

Okay, so that's what the Psycho hall of Fame basically is. There. It's when you're a perfectly healthy person, but after the breakup, you do something that you normally wouldn't do. You're just crazy. We need some inductees today. 404-741-1005. And again, we'll put you on the voice disguiser.

[Jeff]

The guy who wrote, he's not that. He's just not that into you, right? He book out and the book is mainly letters from fans of his first book. And he addressed them and it's very. It's very funny. And part of the book is psycho stories. So I read it, you know, thoroughly for research purposes, of course. And the best psycho story is a girl was walking through the mall and she ran into her ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. And she looked like hell. Not the new girlfriend, the ex. Like, I mean, she was wearing sweats, no makeup, hair pulled back, flip flops, like, total. Let me just run to the mall real quick and pick up a T shirt. I'm gonna get out of there. And probably runs into the worst person she could wanna run into, right? So she's like, I cannot let his last memory of me be looking crappy. So she goes to the post office because they used to live together, mails a package to him at her house. Just put some magazines in it and mails him a package of magazines, but at her house where they used to live together. And then calls him up and goes, you know, three days later when the mail comes, hey, you got a package at the house. And if you don't pick it up by tomorrow, I am going to throw it out. And got totally decked out, hair done, makeup, everything looking good. And just sat around and waited for him to ring the bell and come pick up his box, so to speak.

[Jen Hobby]

And he. He bought it hook, line and sinker.

[Jeff]

And Shay came over, picked up a thing, and she was smoking. She's like done. Memory erased, right? I left him. And now she's just gonna avoid him for the rest of her life. Psycho.

[Burt]

So that's what we're looking for here. 404-741-1005. And we could put you on the voice disguiser. Like we're gonna have to use right now. Good morning. We'll call you Jack. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Tammy]

Good morning, guys.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Tammy]

How are you guys doing today?

[Burt]

Good. Looking for nominees for the Psycho hall of Fame. Time to take a good hard look at it.

[Caller (various female callers)]

I think I might be a nominee. I'm gay.

[Tammy]

And when I broke up with my boyfriend or when actually, when he broke up with me. Two weeks after he broke up with.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Me, I started stalking him at his apartment. I knew his gate code to get into the apartment, and I caught him cheating on. Well, not really cheating on me because.

[Tammy]

We were broken up, but I saw.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Him with another man and I keyed his car.

[Jen Hobby]

That's a little psycho.

[Burt]

That's a little psycho. Yes, it's understandable, but a little psycho.

[Jeff]

It's not enough, though, I think, to make the hall of fame, because there's not a lot of creativity in there. I mean, when you get to the point where you're mailing packages to yourself or, you know, weird things like that.

[Mike]

It has to be more premeditated than the act of passion. Like the king a car is. He was in the moment, emotional, keyed the car. But mailing something and waiting three days. Yeah, you know, that's going and buying.

[Jeff]

A special, getting your hair done. If. If the psycho hall of fame involves preparation beyond what you can do in your house. And like the guy who got hit by while wearing all black, like he might not have made the psycho hall of fame unless he was dressed like a ninja.

[Burt]

Right. You had to really make an effort to get everything coordinated in black.

[Jeff]

The fact that he had the little veil across the. The only thing you could see were his eyes like that helped the samurai.

[Mike]

Sword he didn't need, but whatever.

[Burt]

Susan?

[Caller (various female callers)]

Yes.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Good morning. This is not about me. It's about my ex husband. But when I went to file for a divorce, he was in the military and decided that I shouldn't do this. So while he was in Italy, he went down to the local library that has all the periodicals and magazines and local newspapers for the military people there and took the subscribe now pay later slips out and subscribed all of them for me. So I had over 5,000 subscriptions to local newspapers, city newspapers in the state, magazines, field and stream, you know, parenting every make. It took forever to get this out. In the meantime, he would do things like cut off my utility, change my credit cards, all of this long distance.

[Burt]

The magazine thing, what's the actual number there? It couldn't have been 5,000, but magazines.

[Caller (various female callers)]

And newspapers like the Gwinnett county local newspaper, military people can get their local newspapers over there and the Atlanta Journal and the Phoenix Sun. I mean, all of these newspapers and magazines are coming to my house daily. You know, when I say they recounted the magazines, newspapers, little periodical, they were almost 5,000.

[Jen Hobby]

You know, somebody just got dumped last night and they just heard you. And went. That's a great.

[Jeff]

They're going through a magazine going, where is that? Buy now, pay later.

[Burt]

Page 400-474-11005. If you're brave enough to look at yourself and go, okay, here's where I snapped. I can get into the Psycho hall of fame. Hey, Stephanie, you're on the Burt Show.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Hey, Bert Show. How are you guys this morning?

[Burt]

Good, thank you.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Okay, so the short version of it is that I got sick and had to. This is when I was in college. I got sick, had to go to the hospital. While I'm in the hospital, boyfriend at the time cheats on me. He doesn't know that I know. They call me in the hospital and tell me. My friends do. So he doesn't know I know. When I get back to school, I'm like, oh, honey, I missed you. And basically, I baked you these brownies because thank you for taking care of me before I left and whatnot. Well, the brownies were a little tainted. I basically put six boxes of Ex Lax in the brownies.

[Jen Hobby]

No way. Did he figure it out?

[Caller (various female callers)]

Well, I guess he figured it out when he had to go to the hospital and get his stomach popped.

[Burt]

Oh, no.

[Caller (various female callers)]

It sounds kind of bad afterwards. But, you know, he was kind of full of, you know what, And I just wanted to help him out.

[Burt]

This might be more of a guy thing than it is a woman thing. Like when you do a practical joke to somebody else and you think you're just gonna get a couple of laughs out of it, but then when it goes so far, there's that bit of panic that hits you when you realize, oh, good God, they're rushing him to the hospital right now. This has gone too far.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't think she had any panic at all. I think she's that good.

[Caller (various female callers)]

I did.

[Burt]

I felt bad for about two minutes.

[Jeff]

I have. I forgot all about this. But when I was in college, somebody did a very similar thing. And it was a girl pissed at some guy that did whatever to her and, you know, knew the, you know, ins and outs, like, all the details, what was going on with his life. So made him some brownies to, you know, go over there. And of course he took them, and they were there, hung out, whatever, and. And she had put pot in the brownies. And he had a drug test two days later.

[Burt]

No.

[Jeff]

And she knew it.

[Burt]

Oh, no, no.

[Jeff]

And he got fired. And he didn't, like. I guess there was enough pot in there to show up on the drug test, but not enough to really make him, dude, there's something wrong with these. You know what I mean? So he never ate the brownies, crashed, woke up the next day, no problem, and then ended up getting canned from his job. And she, as soon as he got fired, she had no problem telling everybody.

[Burt]

No remorse about it.

[Jeff]

He's like, guess what I did.

[Burt]

Ashley, you're on the Voice Disguiser Psycho hall of Fame. What's up?

[Caller (various female callers)]

I found out my husband had cheated on me, and we decided to get a divorce. But we had to stay at the house for a while together. And while we did that, I coated his dinner in xlac. I cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush several times. I got the mutual friend to spread the rumor at work about who he.

[Jessica]

Was with because it was a co worker.

[Caller (various female callers)]

I went through all of his cell phone numbers and got the other girl's phone number and emailed her, found out her husband's email address, emailed him, told him everything that was going on. Yeah. Just everything I could think of to totally make his life miserable.

[Mike]

And stirring the cauldron in between. Doing all that stuff.

[Jeff]

Right. What's the toenails in there? And hair to cast a spell.

[Jen Hobby]

What's the the saying? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Absolutely.

[Burt]

Last call, Jessica. Doesn't have to be on the voice disguise. What's going on, Jessica?

[Jessica]

I can't believe I'm doing this, but about 15 years ago, I broke up with a guy, and I wanted to. I was just crazy. I took my little boy. He was about three. We sat in the parking lot of Disguise apartment complex until I got the courage to go through the bushes and watch them through the window, him and his new girlfriend. And I got caught. I got caught. I was stuck in the bushes, and it came out of the apartment, and I was running up the stairs and broke my leg. Up the stairs that went through the parking lot, hit my leg, dealt with a couple cars trying to get away.

[Burt]

And this is all happening in front of your child also.

[Jessica]

It was like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Oh, that's terrible. But it was hilarious. It's funny now. Wasn't so funny then.

[Burt]

You still had the psycho laugh from back then.

[Jeff]

I, I, I gotta find me a camel.

[Jessica]

And called a radio show like this. And I was sitting here driving at 400 going, oh, this is it. I got a challenge.

[Jen Hobby]

I just found our official oath from when we did this before.

[Burt]

You want to lay it on Jessica?

[Jen Hobby]

Jessica, take it.

[Burt]

Okay, Jessica, you have to repeat after Jen Hobby here, okay?

[Jen Hobby]

Okay. I, Jessica, solemnly swear to uphold the ideals.

[Jessica]

I, Jessica, solemnly swear to uphold the.

[Jen Hobby]

Ideals of the Bircho Psycho hall of Fame.

[Jessica]

The Birchow Cycle hall of Fame.

[Jen Hobby]

I will no longer slash, stalk, or steal.

[Jessica]

I will no longer slash something or steal.

[Jeff]

Especially. Especially in front of my son. That's a special line just for you.

[Jessica]

Especially in front of my son.

[Jen Hobby]

And I promise to throw out all mementos.

[Jessica]

I promise to draw all mementos.

[Burt]

Throw out.

[Jen Hobby]

Throw out all mementos.

[Jessica]

Throw out all mementos.

[Jen Hobby]

Reminding me of my insane obsession.

[Jessica]

Reminded me of my insecurities. State of session.

[Jen Hobby]

Of course I will never jump in the bushes ever again.

[Jessica]

Of course, I will never jump in the bushes ever again.

[Jen Hobby]

This is my official oath.

[Jessica]

This is my official oath.

[Jen Hobby]

So help me, Birch show.

[Jessica]

So help me, Bircho.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Thank you.

[Jessica]

I'm glad I called. That's funny.

[Burt]

You are now cleansing. You are inducted into the Psycho hall of Fame.

[Jessica]

I remember that.

[Burt]

We've all been there. Everybody's had one. All right, Jessica, thank you for calling.

[Caller (various female callers)]

Thanks, y'.

[Jessica]

All. Bye.

[Burt]

Bye. Bye. Yeah, she's got the laugh of a psycho.

[Jeff]

You take the psycho out of the girl, but you can't take the psycho laugh out of her, right?

[Burt]

The Birch Show. Brand new Burt show phone scam today.

[Jeff]

Calling up this woman who has just left on her vacation. And I am the brand new employee who borrowed her laptop because she just left it under her boss's desk. And I brought her laptop and found some of her journal entries. And don't think she's dating the right man.

[Tammy]

Hello?

[Jeff]

Hi, is this Jamie?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jamie. How are you?

[Tammy]

Good, good.

[Jeff]

Listen, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you're on vacation, but my name is Michael Checkaway.

[Jamie]

Uh huh.

[Jeff]

I actually just started working with you. Well, even though you're on vacation this week, I started working at your office and wanted to talk over a couple things with you.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Do you mind me interrupting your vacation here real quick?

[Jamie]

Well, I don't. I don't have too long to talk. I was actually on my way out, but.

[Tammy]

No, but I can.

[Jamie]

I can talk for a little bit.

[Jeff]

Okay. I. I guess I'm also an auditor, and so we'll be working pretty. Pretty closely together.

[Tammy]

Okay. Did you take over?

[Jamie]

Are you filling in for Steve or.

[Jeff]

I'm not sure, really. Who. I applied a couple weeks ago, and then they called me and asked me if I could start pretty quickly.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Cool. Listen, I want to talk to you about this guy Brian. And I know this is a little unorthodox especially considering we haven't met. But if I understand correctly, you are going to see him at the end of this week, and I wanted to try to get to you before you and he spent any more time together, because I don't think that's a good situation.

[Jamie]

Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, first of all, I don't understand what. Who's Brian? Are you talking about my boyfriend Brian?

[Jeff]

Well, yeah.

[Jamie]

Okay. And how did you. How do you.

[Tammy]

What?

[Jamie]

How do you know about.

[Jeff]

I mean, the quick version is this. I was at the office, and obviously today was my first day, and I was working late and yada, yada, it. And I wanted to get out of there. And I saw that on the floor of the office was a laptop. And there was no identification, you know, identification or identifying anything. So I figured it was like a loaner, because at the other firm we used to have loaners. So I brought it home and I realized it wasn't a loaner. It was your personal laptop. And then I found the journal and the pictures and yada yada. And needless to say, I've been engrossed in them.

[Jamie]

Okay?

[Jeff]

And I don't think. From what I've read, I don't think that Brian and you. I don't think it's gonna work. And I don't think, frankly, he's that into you.

[Jamie]

Okay, I'm sorry, what was your name again? Michael.

[Jeff]

You're right.

[Jamie]

Okay, Michael, if you could do me a favor and first of all, not look through my computer after you realize that it's not. It's a personal computer.

[Tammy]

Okay? I just.

[Jamie]

If you could not look through it anymore and do me a favor and take it back to work tomorrow, I will.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I'll do that. I'm not gonna look at it anymore. I mean, I've seen all the, you know, journal stuff, copied all the pictures onto a cd, so I can do those later. But wait a second.

[Tammy]

You did.

[Jamie]

You copied my pictures?

[Jeff]

Yeah. I didn't want to run your battery down because I did. It wasn't until I got back that I realized there's no power supply.

[Tammy]

Listen.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God.

[Tammy]

Okay, I don't.

[Jamie]

First of all, I don't even know you, okay?

[Tammy]

So I don't.

[Jamie]

That was really presumptuous of you to take somebody's computer without knowing.

[Jeff]

I didn't. But, see, I didn't realize it was, you know what.

[Jamie]

Did you talk to Mr. Brooks?

[Tammy]

Did you ask him first?

[Jeff]

Listen, you can't. Let's talk about what we need to talk about.

[Tammy]

I don't think I need to talk.

[Jamie]

About anything with you. I don't. I don't even.

[Jeff]

Why do you need permission?

[Tammy]

I don't need permission.

[Jeff]

Why do you need permission to go see your parents?

[Jamie]

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me right now?

[Jeff]

I'm just asking. Think about it. Permission.

[Tammy]

Do.

[Jeff]

You're 28 years old. You're going to be 29 years old and three weeks.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God. I don't need to be answering to you. What I'm doing in my personal life. I can't believe you're biting into somebody's life you don't even know.

[Jeff]

And the pictures I've seen of you. The pictures I've seen of you, you certainly do not need to. Especially if you wanted to take the bikini pictures or whatever.

[Jamie]

Unprofessional. This is very unprofessional, but I'm not. Do you realize you can lose your job over this?

[Jeff]

This is not a professional conversation. This is on our personal time. You're on vacation.

[Jamie]

But you don't know me. I don't know you. I don't need advice from you.

[Tammy]

I can.

[Jamie]

Perfect. I can handle myself just fine.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna. You know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna create an ad, and I'm gonna put an ad online, and I'm gonna use the picture of you in the bikini from Hawaii.

[Jamie]

I guarantee you that's the end of your job. I guarantee you that's the end of your job. I need you to take that computer back tomorrow, first thing in the morning.

[Jessica]

Or this.

[Jamie]

You can get into serious trouble for doing this.

[Jessica]

That's.

[Tammy]

That's personal.

[Jamie]

That is a personal computer. That I'm sure that's illegal to be.

[Tammy]

Doing what you're doing.

[Jamie]

You can't just download my pictures like that or copy them onto a CD or anything like that.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna work on that tonight, and I'm gonna have it ready to go by the time you get back, and then we'll talk. Okay?

[Jamie]

I. I don't really need to talk to you about anything further. I just need you to take my computer back.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna make things okay for you, okay?

[Jamie]

I don't need you to make anything okay for me.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that for you. And I don't even know you.

[Jessica]

Oh, my God. No, you don't.

[Jeff]

All right.

[Tammy]

This is ridiculous.

[Jeff]

Jamie.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[Jeff]

This is actually Jeff with the Birch show at all the hits Q100.

[Tammy]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff]

And this is a Phone scam from everyone in your office who hates Brian.

[Jessica]

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

[Jeff]

No.

[Jessica]

This is horrible.

[Jamie]

I thought he was like, this guy's a weirdo.

[Jessica]

Oh, my God. We will.

[Jeff]

We will scam you. Get it?

[Burt]

The bird show. All right. Melissa used our. We use Melissa as the example for our very first. What did you mean by that?

[Mike]

Yeah, what do they mean by that? The example was my friend Ashley came on the phone yesterday because a few weeks ago, there was a comment that she had made, and then the conversation was diverted into another direction. So I left that. You know, I was hanging out thinking, what? Well, what did she mean by that? And started analyzing what she meant. And instead of just trying to do a guessing game, we had Ashley on yesterday. She answered the question, and so there's closure to that. So now I understand what she meant. But there's so many situations in which something happened between you and a friend or whoever, and you're thinking, well, what. What exactly did they mean by that? So we invite you to do the same thing as I did is where you come on and that person comes on, and then you kind of get closure on whatever comment was made.

[Burt]

We got a whole bunch of emails about this yesterday because I think just about everybody has been in a situation like this where you just walk away and you're like, am I supposed to be offended by that, or what does that mean? Does that redefine our relationship? What does that mean? And Tammy emailed us with probably the quintessential example. Morning, Tammy.

[Tammy]

Good morning.

[Burt]

How are you?

[Tammy]

I'm doing great.

[Burt]

All right, give us a little bit of the history here. Who are we talking about? You and who?

[Tammy]

My best friend, Mike.

[Mike]

Okay, Mike.

[Burt]

Okay. And the history between you and Mike.

[Tammy]

I guess I did it really fast. We have been friends. First of all, we're both gonna turn 30 years old at the same day, October 8th.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Tammy]

And we're really good friends. We've been friends for. Well, since we graduated college, and just.

[Jessica]

It's.

[Tammy]

We've actually got our jobs at the same ad agency at the same day. So it's just been a really kind of interesting relationship. We've had our. We've never had our ups and downs together, but we definitely brought each other through really tough times. We both had really crappy relationships and just best friends talked on the phone for hours. It's just. We do a lot of stuff together. We got a gang of friends that we just all go out with.

[Burt]

He's like a best bud of yours.

[Tammy]

Yeah, he's Really? I don't know. He's just a really great guy. Anyway, when I heard that I definitely have one that is. I've been wondering about. For about four years.

[Mike]

Okay, four years ago.

[Burt]

Four years ago.

[Tammy]

Well, yeah, exactly. Well, it's almost. It was right when we were turning 26. So I was thinking about it as exactly four years ago because it was right before our birthdays. That's. I remember that and I remember everything about it. Okay, well, what happened was we were meeting friends from work. This guy Kim. Well, Kim and Wayne, our best friends from work. And we're all gonna go out and we were at the restaurant first, it was 9:30, and I remember sitting across from him and we were just, you know, talking about everything, talking about people we work with, what was going on. I remember exactly what I was wearing because he was making jokes about it because it was like, I don't know, it was like this velvety looking shirt and he was like, oh man, oh, you're getting sexy or something like that.

[Burt]

I don't know.

[Tammy]

He's just like joking and it was just like crazy. Anyway, he says we were talking about everything and he. For some reason, and I've tried to analyze why he said it at that moment, but he kind of leans towards me, was getting loud in the restaurant. It's about 9:30, he leans forward and I, I just was almost like, you know, I remember just kind of like, what is he saying? And he said, you're the type of girl who'd make a guy like me fall head over heels in love with him. And I just went like, you know how like you just. Your mouth opens. You like.

[Mike]

How did you respond?

[Tammy]

Well, at the exact moment our friends Kim and Wayne walk over to the table and sit down. And I'm stunned. I'm sitting there and I'm looking at him and then he's not looking at me. Like, he says that and then he like kind of backs out and he's like, you know, they start talking about like football or something and I'm just sitting there like, where did that come from?

[Mike]

So Tammy, in four years you've never addressed that comment?

[Tammy]

Well, he's never said anything like that again. So I mean, we talked the very next day. Cause we talked the next day at work and you know, it was like, hey, how you doing? Oh, you know, blah, blah, blah, what are you doing tomorrow?

[Burt]

Business as usual.

[Tammy]

Right. So he's never said anything like that.

[Burt]

I'm just curious on why you didn't mention it to him over the next 24 or 48 hours. What did you mean by that?

[Mike]

For four years or.

[Burt]

Four years?

[Tammy]

Yeah, I know, I know. I thought about it. You know, what happened? It was one of those things, you know, those things like I kind of was waiting for him to say, and then once it gets so long, then you almost don't want to say. Remember three months ago when you said, you know what I mean? Then it gets weird.

[Jeff]

So you think it's going to be better now when you go, hey, remember 47 months ago?

[Mike]

Now, are both you and Mike single?

[Tammy]

Yes.

[Mike]

Okay. And he's been single this whole time.

[Tammy]

Since he said, oh, he's gone out with a couple more people and so have I.

[Mike]

Well, I mean, that could be telltale if he's been, you know, if he hasn't been in a serious relationship in.

[Tammy]

Four years, he has been available. I mean, he went through some heartbreak with this one girl, but, you know, so I don't know if that's really available because he was. He was hurt. But, you know, I don't know, it just. Yeah, it is a little weird now that you're making me think about it. I don't know what he's gonna say, but I've been thinking about it. I just want to know what he like. Did he mean anything? Was it like a general thing to just say? It just seems like such a.

[Burt]

The exact comment again, Tammy, is it.

[Tammy]

Says you're the type of girl who'd make a man like me fall head over heels in love with them.

[Mike]

And he said that at 9:30 in the restaurant when there's a lot of noise going on, a lot of noise.

[Tammy]

And I. And we weren't drinking.

[Jamie]

I remember.

[Jen Hobby]

I wasn't.

[Tammy]

No, no, Tammy, I was.

[Jen Hobby]

Tammy, that's all right.

[Mike]

I was teasing. I was teasing at the fact that you remember the time four years ago. Because I can't remember two days ago. So it's like I was joking.

[Jeff]

It's.

[Burt]

It's the. It's the time where time stood still for her.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

Wearing her velvety shirt. He was wearing, you know.

[Tammy]

Well, it just was so odd. He's. He's a nice guy and he. And he would maybe say a compliment, but that seemed like. I don't know.

[Burt]

All right, let's debate this here for a second before we give this guy a call. 404-741-1005. The one line once again, Tammy.

[Tammy]

All right. You're the type of girl who'd make a guy like me fall head over heels in love with Him.

[Burt]

What do you got, Jan?

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, I think he was trying to cryptically say I'm in love with you without saying I'm in love with you, and wanted to see if she'd have a reaction to it. And she hasn't brought it up in four years. So he went, well, tried that. Didn't work.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I threw that out there. Didn't stick. Bye.

[Burt]

Bye with that Melissa.

[Mike]

Yeah, because it's not often a guy's gonna use the term in love with, you know, like if a guy, you know, if he was teasing her about looking sexy that night, he'd be like, hey, you're you frustrated guy. Like, you know, he would make it sexual somehow. But I think. I totally agree with Jen that he was just putting the feelers out there and he wasn't going to put him, you know, his ego on the table completely and have her bruise it. So, yeah, I think he put the bait out there. You didn't take, and he moved on.

[Burt]

Now we're going to call this guy, and either way, the relationship is going to be completely and totally defined. Maybe differently for you now. It's.

[Tammy]

Well, I mean, we've been friends for so long. I mean, I. He's got a great sense of humor. I hope you just, like. I don't know, just say, like. Well, I just. I don't know what he. I don't know what I'm even hoping for. I just.

[Jen Hobby]

What if he doesn't even remember saying it?

[Burt]

Could be. Could be.

[Jen Hobby]

That would probably hurt your feelings, wouldn't it?

[Tammy]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, in a little, it seems. It's not just saying, like, hey, you're a great girl or something like that. I mean, that's. It's a pretty deep thing to say. I would hope he doesn't seem like that type that would just say anything to somebody. I don't know.

[Jen Hobby]

If he says. If he says, I was in love with you, I am in love with you. I've always been in love with you. Would you consider going out with him?

[Tammy]

I've thought about that. I definitely think we should give it a try. If that was. I mean, I'm not saying that's the case, but if that was the case. We just have so much history together. I know it's a little weird, but, you know, I mean, part of the relationship has to be like, compatibility, and we are really compatible as friends, and I think it would be worth a try. I mean, I'm attracted to him.

[Burt]

All right, let's get him on here, Jeff, what are the parameters here of getting him on? Does he know why he's coming on?

[Jeff]

He was on hold the whole time.

[Burt]

So he knows what's up.

[Jeff]

He knows what's going on.

[Burt]

Hey, Mike.

[Tammy]

Hey.

[Mike]

Oh, hi.

[Burt]

How are you? All right, let's just make this official. And Tammy, why don't you tell Mike exactly why he's on today.

[Tammy]

Mike, it's Tam. How are you doing?

[Mike (on call)]

Hey, girl. What's going on?

[Tammy]

Well, everything's great. Everything's just fine. But I wanted to ask you about something you said a while back. Yes, it was actually about four years ago, almost to the day. At one point, I don't know if.

[Burt]

You remember, but it was at 9:30. You were wearing something sexy. We know, we know.

[Jeff]

It was 9:37. You were wearing your black leather strap watch.

[Jen Hobby]

Say the quote.

[Mike]

Say it.

[Tammy]

Tammy, you said to me, you're the type of girl who'd make a guy like me fall head over heels in love with him. Do you remember saying something like that?

[Mike (on call)]

Yeah, well, yeah, I kind of do remember saying.

[Tammy]

Okay, so it's not just me, because, I mean, I've been thinking maybe I, you know, I misheard it or. Or made it up in some weird way. I don't know.

[Mike (on call)]

No, no, I. I did. I said something like that. I guess that's probably about what I said, the way you remember it.

[Tammy]

But that's. Well, okay. I feel better about that now. And I guess I was just wondering, you know, what kind of. What you meant by it, because you. It's. I don't know if you remember, I didn't get a chance to say anything because.

[Jeff]

Because then it was 9:45 and that's the time our friends were coming by.

[Tammy]

Well, yeah, Kevin Wayne stopped by.

[Burt]

We know the details.

[Mike]

Mike, what did you mean by that?

[Tammy]

I'm sorry.

[Mike (on call)]

I'm nervous, you guys. All right. You know, it's kind of funny that you brought this up four years later, but at the time, Tammy, I was actually. I was really, really into you at the time.

[Tammy]

And like, as a girlfriend, I was just.

[Mike (on call)]

I thought that you would be a great girlfriend. And I was, you know, I was scared, I guess, of how I would possibly bring it up. I guess so. You know, at the time I was really trying to kind of raise a flag and say, hey, you know, do you think this might work out? You think we could do this? And unfortunately, we were, you know, the timing was a little off and people walked in right after I finished my sentence and we didn't get a Chance to, you know, talk about that. And then it was. It was never talked about, you know, or brought up again. So I just kind of moved on, I guess, and just assume that you weren't feeling the same way that I was four years ago.

[Mike]

Now, Mike, you had. You said a few times in there at that time. Do you still have feelings for Tammy?

[Mike (on call)]

Well, I mean, I love Tammy. I mean, Tammy's, you know, she's. She's a great friend. She's been an awesome friend, but right now I just, you know, I kind of don't see her as any more. More than a friend, you know, Right now I'm not. I'm not really interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her at the moment.

[Jessica]

Well, that's cool.

[Tammy]

I just want to know, you know, what you meant back then. But that. I mean, I'm a little confused because then you never said anything else, and I didn't get a chance to react back then. But that's cool, you know.

[Burt]

Well, well, Mike, let me ask you. Let me ask you this, Mike. I mean, have. Because you never got reaction out of her four years ago, have you just put it out of your mind that that's not even a possibility? So now that she's opening things up, I mean, would you consider something more than just a friendship?

[Mike (on call)]

Well, I mean, at the moment, I'm not really interested in anything like that. You know, I'm seeing somebody else now and, you know, it's just kind of not. It's a really laid back kind of relationship. So I don't know what's going to happen, but, I mean, we're not quite as close as we were four years ago. We're kind of branching off a little bit, trying to find our way. So I guess the answer, long and short is no, not really at the moment. But I don't ever want to lose her friendship.

[Tammy]

And I hope that we're still cool, we're still friends. I just. Yeah, everything's just fine. Everything's fine. It's definitely cool.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And it certainly won't be weird in the office. You don't have that to worry about.

[Tammy]

Yeah, no, I mean, it's just a little weird. I mean, just because you said that, it's odd that you would just say it once. And that was my one chance. And then if I don't react to it, it's just, like, gone. But I'm definitely cool with that. I mean, you're definitely whatever you want to feel is fine with you. I mean, me too. I'm fine. With that?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

You sure you're fine with that?

[Jeff]

You said you loved me back during the Olympics.

[Mike (on call)]

Yeah, I just. We never, you know, I didn't really hear anything back from you about it. And we never talked about it again afterwards or anything.

[Tammy]

It wasn't really a question, it was a statement. And I, you know, but it. Everything's fine. I mean, everybody has a way of doing things and.

[Mike (on call)]

Yeah, that's good.

[Tammy]

That was your way of me, and I guess that was my missed opportunity and react to it right then. That was gonna. But everything's fine now. I mean, you know, we're all finding our way as you said. So it's cool. Definitely. Cool. We're fine.

[Burt]

Just like, you know, sounds really cool.

[Mike]

Too far.

[Burt]

Sounds totally cool.

[Jeff]

Just like this statement, you know, I'm gonna vote for that actor fellow from California. Reagan. Yeah. I think he'll make a good president.

[Tammy]

No, it's great. Like, I love you as friend. You're a great guy. And, you know, I understand. I mean, I don't exactly understand, like, what changed in four years, but, you know, it's cool. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. And good luck with everything. I mean, you know, you're gonna see.

[Burt]

Him in an hour. He's not dying.

[Jessica]

Good luck with everything.

[Burt]

You're gonna see him in an hour in the office.

[Tammy]

No, definitely don't feel bad. I mean, you know, it's a little odd, but I'm definitely cool with it. There will be no problem at work. Don't even think of it. I mean, we are friends. We're. We'll be friends, you know, for a long time and.

[Mike (on call)]

Cool. Let's get drunk this week and laugh a little bit about this then.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Mike (on call)]

Because, I mean, we're on the Bert Show. How cool can that get?

[Tammy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Burt]

That's very cool. It's all cool.

[Tammy]

All right.

[Burt]

We're gonna let you go. We're gonna keep Tammy around for a couple of minutes. Okay. All right. But we're not gonna. But we're not gonna talk about you.

[Jeff]

If maybe a brush step against during a showing, a close encounter, the third kind or something.

[Burt]

See you, Mike.

[Jeff]

First Indiana Jones.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Burt]

You are cringing. Cringing.

[Jen Hobby]

I'm sorry, Tammy.

[Tammy]

Oh, that was weird.

[Jen Hobby]

I'm sorry. I know you're disappointed.

[Tammy]

Well, I don't know.

[Jessica]

I guess now it's cool. You should have a follow up because.

[Tammy]

Now it's like, what changed in four years? I'm the same person.

[Burt]

Well, I think what happens is once, I mean, once you put it out of your mind. Like, okay, she's not interested in me that way. Eventually, you gotta move on. I mean, we're talking about four years ago. So up until five minutes ago, you weren't even an option. So he may sit on this. You never know, right?

[Tammy]

And the thing is, I haven't been walking around for years wondering if he was in love with me. But it's just one of those things that, like. Well, what changed? I don't know.

[Mike]

You didn't say. I mean, the thing is. I mean, it was a missed opportunity. I mean, he put it out there, you thought about it, and he didn't say anything. So, I mean, it's. I mean, and now it's been four years. So, you know.

[Jeff]

Remember when he almost kissed you at the Bee Gees concert?

[Jen Hobby]

It's disappointing because you've been living the last four years feeling like he is in love with you. And in some way or another, you liked that.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I mean, I guess so.

[Jen Hobby]

Because we will do that. We will keep guys around us that we think are, you know, maybe not even in love with us, but we think that they're attracted to us. We think that they, you know, put us on a pedestal or whatever. We're the apple of their eye. Even though you weren't interested in him, it made you feel good to feel like he was in love with you for all of that time. It's kind of this mean, torturous thing we do to guys. Guy friends in our life, but we do it.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Mike]

Now, Tammy, the mistake you can't make, which you were almost trickling into making when you talked to Mike, was. You can't blame him for it. Like you said, what's changed in four years?

[Jen Hobby]

Well, you.

[Mike]

Good luck with that or whatever. Like, you could tell that you were not happy with the response, but, you know, he. You can't get mad at him for you not saying anything, right?

[Tammy]

I know. I would thought about it so many times. Like, what could I have said? Like, the next morning, could I have called up and said, what did you mean by that? But I don't know. I just. I was thinking he would get into it again, but it doesn't really matter. I'm definitely cool that he's a great guy. We're gonna be friends. It was a little awkward for a moment, but, you know.

[Burt]

Oh, I think that was awkward. Wait till you get into the office.

[Jeff]

Now it's cool.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I know.

[Burt]

All right, Tammy, thank you for.

[Tammy]

Thank you. I love you guys.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Mike]

Now, you have closure.

[Burt]

Yeah. You're on the Birch show.