Full Show PT 3: Monday, January 26 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, January 26 [Vault]

Date: January 26, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and more

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively segment of The Bert Show where the cast dives into stories about complicated engagements, commitment issues, and ambitious New Year’s resolutions—with a comedic twist and plenty of open, candid discussion from the hosts and callers. The show balances outrageous personal stories with interactive segments, inviting listeners to share, react, and sometimes commit to wild on-air challenges. Notably, they introduce the concept of "motivation by humiliation": participants risk getting a literal tattoo if they fail at their New Year’s resolution.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

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1. Angela’s Wild Engagement Saga

(00:00–16:44)

Segment Summary:

• The recurring guest "Angela" calls in to elaborate on her unprecedented romantic entanglements—having been engaged to three men at the same time.
• Discussion unfolds around Angela’s motivations, honesty, and feelings about relationships, gifts, and marriage itself.
• Callers weigh in, questioning her sincerity and morality; Angela defends her actions, claiming honesty (at least with herself) and arguing she just needs to clarify her feelings before settling down.

Key Moments & Quotes:

• Angela discloses:
  Angela: “No, it wasn't two. Sorry. It was three.” (00:31)
• Host Bert’s curiosity:
  A: "The thing that I find so interesting about you is, you know, all of this is so wrong, yet you’re so callous about it, and you really, like, can go from guy to guy and you really don’t care." (05:55)
• Angela’s justification:
  C: “First of all, I didn’t go from guy to guy. He came to me.... If he knows that I’m already engaged and he’s willing to wait for me to work it out, it is not my fault.” (06:06)
• On receiving lavish gifts:
  C: “He gave me a diamond tennis bracelet from Tiffany's and he got me little diamond style tears. ... For Christmas I got a Wii with all the freaking accessories.” (03:39)
• Angela’s honesty with her fiancé:
  C: “My current fiancé ... knows I’m hanging out [with the ex], he just doesn’t know he asked me to marry him, and I’m going to tell him.” (08:21)
• Angela’s existential crisis:
  C: “What if my wedding day comes, right? And I am walking down the aisle, and I see my high school sweetheart in the audience, and all of a sudden I am filled with, oh, my God, what would have happened?" (15:23)

Listener & Host Responses:

• Other callers and hosts alternate ridicule, psychoanalysis, and disbelief, with many suggesting Angela is motivated by gifts or the drama of relationships, not genuine love.
• One caller, Stephanie, accuses Angela of being “a narcissistic, delusional liar.” (08:44)
• Multiple times, hosts press Angela on who she actually intends to marry; Angela wavers, stating her deep feelings for both men and admits to being overwhelmed by the “celebration” aspect of engagements (13:09–13:18).

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2. “Motivation By Humiliation”: The Tattoo Challenge

(16:46–32:48)

Segment Summary:

• The cast launches a memorable New Year’s challenge: if a participant fails to achieve their New Year’s resolution, they must get a tattoo visibly marking their failure.
• The idea is to invoke both motivation and public accountability—if you don’t quit smoking, lose those pounds, or get married, you wear your defeat for life.

How It Works:

• The show recruits listeners willing to participate, explains the legalities, and discusses tattoo placement.
• Incremental progress is considered ("milestone tattoos" if people partially succeed, e.g., quitting for a while but not the whole year).

Key Moments & Quotes:

• Bert on the challenge:
  A: “We want to motivate you by humiliating you if you do not conquer your New Year’s resolution this year. And we've hired a professional tattooist that is willing to tattoo you if you don't do your resolution with something that basically says, I couldn't fulfill my resolution.” (18:32)
• Callers volunteer for the challenge:
  • Lisa: “I have to quit smoking once and for all... I’ve only not quit, probably because it’s tough and I’m lazy, but I got to do it." (22:47)
  • Hosts clarify tattoo must be in a visible place; Lisa suggests the ankle, which is debated (24:21–24:47).
• Beth’s commitment:
  Beth: “About three years ago, I started the Depo Provera birth control shot, and I gained almost 50 pounds in about four weeks. ... I have to lose between 40 and 50 pounds by my one year anniversary in September.” (27:02)
• Tattoo consequences:
  Bert: “You are willing to put a tattoo on that says, I couldn’t lose the weight.” (28:26)
• Sarah volunteers both herself and her fiancé:
  F: “We're gonna get married this year. We've been engaged almost two years now. We have a child together. ... The tattoo that you guys would get at the end of the year if you are not married would be, we couldn't commit. Or he would put, I just can’t commit.” (31:06)
• Hosts joke about tattoo slogans:
  E: “Should say even getting knocked up didn’t work.” (32:28)
  A: “And you have to explain that to every woman that he ever sees without a shirt on ever again.” (32:41)

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3. Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

Angela’s Forthrightness:

• “What do you think I said? This is Angela, the black widow here.” (05:00)
• “If you don’t want us to make you sound bad, we’ll take calls.” (08:20)

Hosts on New Year’s Resolutions & Failure:

• “You are permanently stating publicly that I will get the ink on my arm or wherever that says I could not do this.” (19:21)
• “If you don’t accomplish your resolution, then you get the tattoo. ... We’re gonna make you sign paperwork.” (20:11)

On Gifts & Relationships:

• “Why would she end the celebration of her—” “That’s true.” (08:12–08:14, playful sarcasm about Angela’s love of gifts)

Playful Analysis from the Team:

• "You just want to clone the good parts of both of them, meld them together, and then that's the guy you'll marry." (13:00)
• “I’ve quit countless times. But it is after. For me, it’s most difficult after about three weeks or a month when I start to fall apart.” (25:09, Lisa on her struggle to quit smoking)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00 – 16:44: Angela’s engagement saga, listener reactions
• 16:46 – 26:41: Introduction and deep-dive into the “motivation by humiliation” tattoo challenge, including listener Lisa’s and Beth’s pledges
• 26:41 – 32:48: More tattoo challenge volunteers (including engaged couple), wrapping up calls and humorous banter about tattoo slogans

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Takeaways

• The Bert Show delivers its signature blend of outrageous personal stories, humor, tough love, and interactive listener engagement.
• Angela’s multiple engagements spark both comedic disbelief and real talk about relationships, gifts, honesty, and self-awareness.
• The tattoo-based “motivation by humiliation” is an innovative take on making New Year's resolutions stick—with public accountability, high stakes, and plenty of laughs and empathy for the challenges of self-improvement.

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Listeners are left eagerly awaiting follow-ups with all participants, especially Angela and the tattoo challengers. The tone is playful but real—mixing empathy with hilarity—making for a radio segment as unpredictable as it is entertaining.

Transcript

[A]

The first show, way back before we left for Christmas break, we asked the question, who had been engaged to more than one person at the same time?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

And Angela called us up initially to talk about that, but then we got into a conversation about her and her boyfriend and their relationship, and she wanting to stick it out in the relationship until she got her presence right. Now, here's some of that conversation. Angela, you're on the voice disguiser. Were you engaged to two guys at the same time?

[C]

No, it wasn't two. Sorry. It was three.

[A]

Three.

[C]

Three guys at the same time. First guy. You know, high school sweethearts, we're gonna get married, yada, yada, yada. We get the engagement ring, and we set the date, started planning everything for four years later, after college. I wasn't ready for it then, so I wasn't like, we're not gonna last. Yada, y'. All, whatever. I'm doing my thing while I'm in college. Fall in love. My junior year, three years into our engagement, I still see my engaged boyfriend every holiday, every break, yada, yada, yada. So I fall in love with this guy junior year, and he asked me, and I was like, okay, so that's guy number two. Well, we set our marriage date for that summer. Okay. Well, the summer comes, and he gets this really great job opportunity, and we push it back to when I graduate, because he was a year older than me. Push it back to when I graduated from college. Well, he is away doing his thing. And immediately after graduating from college, I got this really great job that sends me abroad to England. And I'm in England for a year, and I fall in love with this guy, and he's like, yo, let's get married, and everything. And so I'm like, why not? Let's go ahead and go for it.

[A]

All right, so that's the first part of the conversation. And the second part that you don't hear there is her telling us that she's in this relationship with a guy, and she's just sticking it out. She wants the Christmas presents.

[B]

Well, they're so close to the holidays.

[D]

Why not? I mean, he had already gone shopping. She was gonna save him the trip to return him.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It's a little hypocritical of us to come down on her, because I said in that certain window, you gotta stick it out.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Like, if it's, like, after December 15th or something like that and you're not happy, you got to stick it out until January 1st.

[B]

Right? So because you don't well. And well, that was so that you would not hurt the feelings of the person that you were about to break up with. But in her case, it wasn't. She was concerned about hurting his feelings. She want to make sure that she got something. She got her goods before she left.

[A]

Hey, Angela.

[C]

Good morning, bro.

[A]

How are you?

[C]

Sorry about this morning.

[A]

That's okay. We got so late.

[C]

Okay. And one more thing. Am I on the voices? Kaiser?

[A]

You are.

[C]

Okay. Just checking. My baby's listening.

[B]

Your baby?

[A]

So you guys are still together?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, okay.

[E]

He must have given you something good.

[C]

Oh, my God, he did. He gave me. He gave me a diamond tennis bracelet from Tiffany's and he got me little diamond style tears. So I was really happy. That was my birthday, which is a couple days before Christmas. And then for Christmas I got a Wii with all the freaking accessories. And it was great. It was wonderful. But yes, let me tell you the story. So I had something for my rookies a couple of days before Christmas. And we, during my birthday weekend, we sit down and we have this discussion. And he's like, baby, I sense that you're pulling away from me and I don't want to lose you. And I want to sit down and let's talk about what's wrong with you. Let's talk about this relationship. Put your trust in me. Don't leave me like you did the other guys. I'm different. I was like, okay, babe, sure. I sit down and I'm thinking to myself, can I be real with this guy? Can I actually get married? And I decide I can. And I take the relationship completely. And so I don't break up with him after Christmas like my plans were. But a couple days after that, my mom threw me this huge I'm turning 30 party. I mean, she outdid herself. She invited some of my high school buddies, some friends from college. I think some of my international friends even flew in for it. Well, my high school sweetheart found out about the party through one of my best friends and he flew in for my birthday party.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yes. And it was so awesome. And we spent the whole night talking and catching up and all this great stuff. And at the end of the night, he proposed us with a freaking huge ring. Okay, the ring is huge.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna back up for one second because wasn't. If I remember the story correctly, isn't the high school sweetheart one of the guys that you were engaged to at the same time as the other guys?

[C]

Yes, he was one. He was the one that I Also wanted to try it again with.

[B]

Right. She did tell us that this is the one that she still had feelings for.

[A]

Okay, so.

[D]

So your current sweetheart was not at this party?

[C]

Oh, no. My mom can't stand him, so he wasn't invited.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

That's how the high school boy got in.

[A]

All right, got access. And chronologically, here it goes. Conversation with current boyfriend, Christmas, whole bunch of gifts. And then the party.

[C]

No, no, it goes. Conversation with boyfriend, birthday, whole bunch of gifts.

[A]

Gotcha.

[C]

Then the party.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Then proposal.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Wow. And what'd you say?

[C]

What do you think I said? This is Angela, the black widow here.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

You said yes?

[C]

I said yes.

[A]

So this is the second time you've been engaged to this guy?

[C]

Yes, this is the second time. And you should have heard the proposal. He was like, I know we tried it before, but I still love you. You're the only one for me. Soulmate. Yeah. Womp, womp, womp. It was beautiful, guys. It was beautiful.

[A]

And the current has no idea of any. Does he know yet that you're engaged?

[C]

It depends on how savvy he is. If he's really good at being my baby, he knows that I'm talk about him now on the radio, but other than that, no, he's.

[E]

So this is the. This is the first time he's going to hear about it. It's broadcast on Q100.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Where's the ring? Where do you hide the ring he has?

[C]

I wear his. The high school sweetheart ring because it's huge, and I just kind of take it off and put it in the ashtray every time I see my. I guess, first fiance in the car ashtray? Yeah.

[B]

Okay. It's in your car. Okay.

[A]

I don't understand. Like. I mean, you seem so. The thing that I find so interesting about you is, you know, all of this is so wrong, yet you're so callous about it, and you really, like, can go from guy to guy and you really don't care.

[C]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. First of all, I didn't go from guy to guy. He came to me. He came to me and he was. Cause we talked. My high school sweetheart, we talked the entire night. He was well aware that I wasn't engaged and set to be married in three months. He was willing to. You know, he was like, baby, you're making a mistake. Let's try it. And so if he knows that I'm already engaged and he's willing to wait for me to work it out, it is not my fault.

[D]

Now, was this more orchestrated from your mom than we even know about?

[E]

Yes, totally.

[F]

It could have been.

[C]

Because, like I said, he was out of the country, and I don't have information from him. He's in the military. But, you know, it makes sense. Cause he landed a couple days before my birthday, and he does talk to a lot of my friends a lot. So he could have just heard about it through them.

[A]

Don't you? The more we talk to you, the more I realize you just like. You like the celebration of you like. I'm not really sure this engagement is really gonna go anywhere, but. You like to get presents on Christmas. You like to have birthdays thrown for you. You like to get engagement rings. You like the whole process. You just like the celebration of you. Do you really love this guy?

[C]

I really love, I guess my current fiancee, the one I'm marrying in March. I really love him. Really do. I really want to marry him. But that's my high school sweetheart. I've loved him for so long. I'm not. It would be wrong for me to say, well, no, I'm not gonna entertain this because you're a couple months too late, you know?

[B]

Did you say March?

[F]

March?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, I'm confused now. We're talking about so many guys now I got it all confused. So you just said that you're really in love with your current, but you're prepared to marry the ex high school sweetheart?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Who are you marrying in March?

[C]

That's when our wedding date was set for the current.

[B]

With the current one? Yes.

[C]

The one I was gonna break up with.

[D]

The Tiffany's bracelet one.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Are you lying about all this?

[C]

Oh, dear. No.

[A]

So why wouldn't you just tell him? Then? The engagement is off and I'm gonna be with the ex.

[B]

Oh, that's silly, Bert. Because then she'd be cutting off some of her goods. The tennis bracelet cut off the engagement ring, and she's got another engagement ring.

[E]

Why would she end the celebration of her.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

You guys make me sound so bad. No, no, no. I mean, if you don't want us.

[E]

To make you sound bad, we'll take calls.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. I mean, my current boyfriend. I mean, my current fiance. I told him. I was like, you know, I had this big birthday party. My ex was in town, and I wanted to hang out with him. He knows I'm hanging out. He just doesn't know. He asked me to marry him, and I'm gonna tell him. It's just that it Was the holiday time, and I couldn't find the right moment.

[A]

All right. Stephanie thinks you're making this whole thing up. Hey, Stephanie.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Hey.

[F]

I have a girlfriend who is just like her. She is a narcissistic, delusional liar. Just crazy.

[C]

There may be a little bit of.

[F]

Truth to her story, but the rest of it is all embellishment. She's embellishing this story.

[A]

Angela, you promise you're not making any part of this up?

[C]

I promise I'm not making any of this up.

[E]

Why do you say. I'm curious to why she thinks that the same thing that applied to a friend applies to. To her.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

She's gone.

[C]

Hello? Where'd she go?

[A]

She's gone. I hung up on her accidentally. I thought she was just done with her point. Hold on. Good morning, Deborah. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hey, Bert. How are you guys doing this morning?

[A]

Shaking our heads. How are you?

[F]

Great. I think the girl is crazy, okay?

[C]

She's loony.

[F]

And if she think that she's not doing anything wrong, that just, you know, seals my case.

[C]

I mean, why would you not think.

[F]

You'Re doing something wrong? I mean, why would you think that? It's just their. I mean, they're doing everything wrong and you're just reaping the benefits. I think she's crazy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you're totally toying with these guys. I mean, you're. You're toying them like they're catnip and you're a cat.

[C]

Wait, no, no, no, because I'm. First of all, I'm not. Okay, the first three fiance's, when I was younger, that was all wrong. But this one is not. Like, I asked the guy to fly in for my birthday, and it's not like I told him to marry me and it's. I let him on.

[E]

You said yes.

[C]

That I was in. I had on my fiance's ring. He knew that.

[E]

But you said yes when he asked.

[C]

He asked in front of my entire. All my friends and family and nephews and nieces. What the hell was I. What the heck was I supposed to say?

[A]

No, no, they all knew that you were engaged to another guy.

[C]

Okay, but like, I'm still. There are still feelings there. And there is a. There are still feelings there that I would be wrong if I did not explore them before I walked down the aisle to another man.

[A]

Well, I have feelings for the girl they went out with in the seventh grade.

[E]

That's gonna be a fight later.

[A]

I'm not marrying the girl.

[B]

Well, you know, the people that hate her the worst are the people who can't get their boyfriends to. To ask them to marry him. Like our Birch show listener that's been married, dated the same guy for five years, and he still won't propose to her. And then every. I mean, I'm surprised that you can't go to the mall today and some random guy comes up and proposes to you. Like, what is it that you do that's different?

[C]

I'm a great gal. I mean, hate to blow my own point in, but I'm a nice person, I guess.

[D]

You got some sort of move. I need to learn something.

[C]

What is it? Caliente Kids? Is that what Bert calls me?

[A]

You got more than that.

[C]

That's what it is.

[A]

You got way more than that. Sarah, you're on Q100. Hey.

[C]

Hey.

[F]

When you're not that nice of a person, you wouldn't be leading both these guys on like that. But the thing is. And I used to be a lot like you, and I was engaged, like, six times before I actually got married, and now I'm happily divorced. But anyway, that's all beside the point. But the thing is, what you need to recognize is that this guy, the one from high school, he is disrespecting, like you and your current fiance and himself by just walking in and saying, oh, no, marry me instead, and it's just all a big mess. You're getting yourself into nothing but trouble, so just back away from Mr. High School.

[A]

I mean, this is the second time now that you've been engaged to multiple people at the same time.

[C]

This time, at least most parties know about each other.

[D]

Most parties know about it.

[A]

Well, you said he doesn't know about.

[B]

Who knows about who.

[C]

Okay, the high school sweetheart knows about my current fiance.

[A]

Yeah, but the current doesn't know about the high school sweetheart.

[C]

He doesn't know that I'm engaged. No, but if he does know that, we spend quite a bit of time together.

[B]

And does the boy, the high school dude, know that the current you are engaged to him?

[C]

He knows. What? I mean, he knows. He's seen my wedding dress. He knows the date. He knows everything.

[D]

So who are you gonna marry?

[E]

Neither of them.

[B]

Nobody.

[C]

I want to marry my current fiance because I love him.

[B]

No.

[D]

Who are you going to marry?

[B]

Neither.

[E]

We should have Hoss ask for a.

[D]

Seriously, Are you gonna actually be able to walk down the aisle with either one of them?

[C]

I want to. One of them?

[A]

Which one?

[D]

You just want to clone the good parts of both of them, meld them together, and then that's the guy you'll marry.

[A]

Have you ever been married before?

[C]

No. No, I haven't.

[A]

So you've never gone through the, you know, the celebration of a wedding day or anything? So that's not. The idea of. It is intoxicating to you?

[C]

Actually, the idea is kind of overwhelming.

[A]

Well, yeah, because you've done it nine times.

[B]

Well. And you have to stay there. Like, you have to stay with the same guy once you go through the.

[C]

Ceremony and you got to stay faithful for the rest of your life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You think. You think you have that in you?

[C]

I'm going to marry my current fiance.

[F]

I just.

[C]

I. It would be wrong of me to go down the aisle and say yes to this man, knowing and wonder what could have been or what would have happened if.

[A]

So are you going to pursue a relationship with the ex through the engagement and then just get married to the current?

[C]

Not all the way through the engagement. We need some time to get to know me, because I haven't seen this man in about six years. I mean, I want to get a chance to get to know him, see what he's all about.

[B]

Well, that's good.

[C]

Say again?

[B]

Yeah, you take before. Yeah, before you get to know him. It's. I mean, perfect. Perfect plan.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

It's so simple. Hey, Jennifer, you're on Q100.

[C]

Hey, I think she's a gold digger. What the heck? What the heck? What the. Why do I need to. If you want to, then that would be fine. But you don't need to sit there and say engaged.

[F]

Engaged means married for the rest of your life.

[C]

You're taking marriage as a joke? How am I taking it? Okay, because obviously you're sitting here engaged.

[F]

To three different guys. How is that not a joke?

[C]

And the joke is on you because you're the idiot doing it. Much younger. I admitted that one was wrong. Okay? But this one is just as wrong.

[F]

As the one before, because you are.

[C]

Still sitting here engaged to two separate men.

[A]

Angela, you can honestly take a look at your own situation right now, and you can say, I'm not doing anything wrong.

[C]

It's not like I called up my high school sweetheart and said, hey, come in and ask me to marry you because I need another engagement ring. I didn't do that. I didn't invite him to the party. I didn't ask him to marry me. I did not do anything wrong because I'm not out there.

[E]

You said yes.

[A]

You said yes. You already engaged me.

[E]

The proper answer the answer is, I'm sorry. I'm engaged to someone else.

[C]

Okay, so suppose I would have said no, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And my wedding day comes, right? And I am walking down the aisle, and I see my high school sweetheart in the audience, and all of a sudden I am filled with, oh, my God, what would have happened?

[E]

That's great.

[C]

After I get married and supposed to be faithful to the man for the rest of my life, I cheat. Because I've always. I would have wondered what happened.

[E]

Hey, black widow, listen, the proper answer is no. And then you go back to the other guy if you have doubts, and you say, hey, we gotta call off our engagement because I gotta explore some things with a past flame who's come into my life and maybe wants to rekindle some things.

[A]

But you know you'd lose the guy, so you can't do that, right?

[C]

I don't think I would lose him, would I?

[E]

I hope so.

[A]

Well, there must be a reason why you didn't tell him.

[C]

Because he wouldn't understand, and he wouldn't say yes before. I mean, before even acknowledging Lord.

[A]

Amber, we're gonna have to follow up with you. Wow.

[D]

I want to find out what advice you would give to a friend of yours if she were going through the same situation.

[C]

I would tell her to do the same thing I'm doing, except be honest with your current fiance. Let him know what play.

[A]

But you haven't done that.

[C]

I wasn't giving the advice to myself, though. You said my best friend.

[A]

Okay, so it'll be different for you. All right? We'll check back with you in a couple of weeks, see where your head's at. Okay.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Bye.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

The bird show. All right, here's the offer we want to make to you guys. And we're not sure that any of you are really bold enough or brave enough to take it, but it is the 2008 version of motivation by humiliation. We're now in a time of New Year's resolutions. I saw it at the gym on Saturday.

[B]

Mm.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I mean, Dolvett does this fast twitch class, and there's normally like, seven or eight people in there busting their ass, right? But here it is Saturday morning, and the class is full. There's 25 people in there, right? And I even said to him, how can you tell? It's New Year's. It's New Year's. And he said, and he laughed at me. And he looked around the room, there's 30 people. And everybody's, like, wants to lose weight. Right now, right? Gyms are packed, right? Don't sweat it. By February 1st, we'll be back to the regular population. Right? Here's the offer we want to make to you guys. If you have been struggling with a New Year's resolution, I mean, for years.

[E]

It doesn't have to be weight loss, right?

[A]

It doesn't have to be weight. But I think that's the most common example we could probably use. Let's say eight years ago, you made the resolution that you were going to lose £50, and you started out pretty strong there in January, and then February came around and you fell right back in your same eating patterns, and you didn't lose the weight that year. And I'm only using weight as this example, but it can, like Jeff said, apply to anything. So then the next year, you're like, you know what? I didn't lose the 50 last year. This is going to be it. So maybe you did something to put a little bit more pressure on yourself.

[E]

Maybe.

[A]

Maybe you told your husband, maybe you told your husband what your resolution was, so you put a little more pressure on yourself to make it happen. Then by February 1st again in 2001, you let it go. Then you did the same thing the year after that and a year after that and a year after that, and it has never gotten done.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Here's what we want to do. We want to motivate you by humiliating you if you do not conquer your New Year's resolution this year. And we've hired a professional tattooist that is willing to tattoo you if you don't do your resolution with something that basically says, I couldn't fulfill my resolution.

[D]

So if it's losing weight, you will get a tattoo that says, I couldn't lose the weight.

[A]

I couldn't lose the weight. What are some of the other ones? I mean, because this is. I mean, you talk about shocking your system into making a decision, right? To absolutely do what it is that you have been putting off for years and years and years. You are permanently stating publicly that I will get the ink on my arm or wherever that says I could not do this.

[E]

I will get a new job.

[A]

There you go. And if you do, I'll get a.

[E]

New job by the end of the year. That's my resolution. I'm in a dead end job now if I don't get it. Tattoo me.

[B]

I want to quit smoking. You don't quit smoking. We put on your arm that you couldn't quit smoking.

[A]

Or maybe it's just like, I mean, we could Work on the design together. Maybe it's just a tattoo of a cigarette smoking cigarette. And every time somebody sees that, they're going to ask you, what's that all about? And you're going to have to say, well, I couldn't do it. I couldn't quit smoking. I made a deal with this Q100, this Berkshire radio station. I couldn't do it at the end of the year. So this is my constant reminder about how weak I was in 2008. So who's bold enough to take us up on it? I mean, and we're serious. You can't go in halfway on this. If you commit to us, then, and you don't follow through, I mean, we're gonna make you sign paperwork.

[E]

Mm.

[A]

You don't follow through. We are allowed to drive a van by your office, pull you into it, knock you out, and put a tattoo on your arm.

[B]

I mean, Stacey will be driving the van, but we'll be doing this right.

[E]

So you'll be safe at least getting there.

[A]

So am I making it perfectly clear that we're totally serious about this?

[D]

And are we gonna talk about maybe incrementally, month by month?

[A]

Sure. Here we are.

[D]

Let's talk. Okay. Because one of the ideas that we brought up when we were talking about this off the air in our post show meeting was about how if by February 1st, you don't accomplish at least part of the goal, then you would get part of the tattoo. Then my March, April, May. So we might even puzzle piece the tattoo together over time. If you're not accomplishing the goals along.

[A]

The way, we would have to get together with a tattoo artist milestone. That is so good, and I think Tracy has one that is so good that if you did this milestone tattoo, if you did halfway through it, end up doing your resolution, we could turn it into something cool.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So, for instance, let's give it. Let's give an example of that, because if somebody, in order to get a part of the tattoo, you kind of broke your resolution. Right. So let's say. Let's say if it's the smoking thing, if you. If you had a puff and you didn't mean to, but you still want to quit smoking, then you get part of the tattoo. Or is it like. I'm trying to figure out an example for how.

[A]

I'm not totally on board on that idea.

[E]

Well, I think.

[B]

I guess it depends on the resolution on what milestones you'd have to.

[D]

Yeah, like, let's say set them up with you.

[E]

Yeah, like, let's let's say, you know, your, you know, idea is to find a new job. Like you've got a, you know, like a dead end job. Well, maybe what. What you do is like the first. If in three months or six months or whatever milestone we set, you haven't even given any thought, typed your resume, done anything like that, then maybe it's just the word job, you know, because isn't there a book in the Bible that isn't a job? Turn it into job, so you make it a Bible. So it could be. Now it's going to go either way. It's going to go to some inspirational Bible verse, or then it's gonna be the words. Ask me about my job.

[A]

Now we got a whole bunch of people on hold that are willing to do it.

[E]

We'll see when they come in here.

[A]

Hey, Lisa. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning. How are you?

[A]

How are you?

[F]

I'm good, thanks.

[A]

This, to us, is the ultimate motivation by humiliation, because there's no turning back on this thing.

[F]

I get that, and I'm up for it.

[A]

All right, give us a little history. What is your New Year's resolution, and what do you absolutely have to get done this year?

[F]

I have to quit smoking once and for all. I have smoked for 20 years, and I have two little children, and it's just time to get rid of it. And I've only not quit, probably because it's tough and I'm lazy, but I got to do it.

[B]

I think that the reservation we have is because a lot of people this time of year want that resolution, have the resolution and want to use this as the motivation. Like motivation by humiliation. But the humiliation part does exist. So come February or March, if something happens and you start, you know, you buy another pack of cigarettes and start all over again. You will have to get the tattoo.

[F]

I got that. And you know what's interesting about this challenge is that I, in my younger years, got two tattoos, and I, you know, obviously regret that. So I understand the commitment that goes along with doing that, and I know what it would mean to have that for the rest of my life, because I already do.

[B]

Because a lot of excuses come around.

[A]

Mars, right? They sure do.

[B]

A lot of excuses come around.

[A]

Oh, I got so stressed out, I lost my job. And what did I do? I just started drinking.

[F]

Yep.

[D]

Well, where would you put this tattoo that says I couldn't quit smoking?

[F]

Well, I don't know. Would I be able to put it anywhere?

[A]

Or it might be visible on your forehead.

[E]

It's got to be on your face.

[A]

No, I think an arm or. It has to be somewhere that's going to be exposed. Like if you're on the beach to where you, you know, people will see it. Like, if you put it, like on your booty, no one's ever gonna see it there. So it has to be somewhere public enough to where people are gonna ask you about it to where you're forced into getting the tattoo and explain your failure.

[B]

Right.

[F]

Okay, well, what if I put it on my ankle?

[E]

Well, we can put you on the list.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I think that's still. I mean, people are gonna see her ankles.

[E]

You ever wear skirts?

[F]

Yeah, I do on occasion.

[E]

How often do you go to the beach?

[F]

Not as often as I'd like, but I wear shorts and capri pants a lot and skirts.

[E]

Will you still wear shorts after you gain all the weight you gain you get from.

[F]

Well, that'll be my New Year's resolution next year, is to lose the weight from quitting smoking.

[A]

I mean, this is a big one right here. I mean, and Jen's gone through it. She knows what it's like to be quit smoking. The struggle going back and forth and back and forth.

[D]

Yeah, it's definitely a struggle. And so many people who quit fall off the wagon for a while and then get back on again. And.

[F]

And I've been there over the years. I've quit. It sounds silly, but I've quit countless times. But it is after. For me, it's most difficult after about three weeks or a month when I start to fall apart. And I don't know why. It seems in the beginning it is easy. But I've tried to resign myself to the fact that it is always going to be hard. And I can't just pretend that it's going to go away, which is what I've done in the past is just thought, oh, I'll quit and I won't ever crave it again. And I've learned that that's not going to be the case. And I was listening to you talk about it last week, and that was part of my realization too.

[D]

It is always going to be hard. And it's one of those things where when you're a smoker and you've stopped for three or four weeks, like what she was saying, all of a sudden in your head, the weird twisted mentality comes back up. It's like, well, I've been so good, I could just have one. It doesn't make any sense.

[E]

That's the gateway right there. That's what Lindsay Lohan did on New Year's Eve with alcohol.

[D]

It's like. It doesn't make any sense, but that is the mentality that comes to you. Well, I've been so good, I haven't had any for four weeks. I just have one, and then that turns into, you know, one pack.

[E]

Hey, Lisa, like, dieting, where people lose all this weight and then, like, okay, I've lost the weight. Now I can go back to eating.

[A]

Like I was just one donut. That's one carb. Lisa, let me put you on hold. You will. I mean, we can do this with more than one person, but if you're committed to it, then we totally committed. Okay. Okay, great. Let me put you on hold. Okay.

[F]

Okay, thanks.

[A]

We'll talk more to you over the next couple of days, and we'll work out some of the details on it.

[F]

All right, good.

[A]

Okay. Hold on. That's a commitment right there. So she loses. She stops smoking. Right? Or she gets the tattoo, says, I just couldn't do it, or a cigarette or something.

[D]

And she smoked for 20 years too.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Sometimes it takes that kind of motivation. I mean, this is on me forever, right? Good morning, Beth. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning.

[A]

Good morning. How are you?

[C]

I'm doing wonderful.

[F]

How y' all doing?

[A]

Good. All right. This is the ultimate motivation by humiliation here, because the tattoo is forever.

[F]

I'm ready for it.

[A]

Okay. What have you been struggling with?

[F]

About three years ago, I started the Depo Provera birth control shot, and I gained almost 50 pounds in about four weeks.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Were you pregnant?

[F]

No. Trying to keep from getting there, but I got married in September of last year, so there's something that I really wanted to do for my husband because he's tired. I'm sure he's probably tired of me. He always complained about how I can't ever seem to lose the weight. Plus, Chick Fil a is my fault. I passed by three Chick Fil A's on the way to work every morning.

[E]

That place will call to you too.

[F]

I'm gonna have to, like, start changing my route to work.

[E]

Chicken biscuit?

[A]

It does. There's, like, this gravitational pull.

[E]

It calls to me, especially on Sunday, and I hate them for that.

[A]

No. Have you ever? Actually, we've driven there before on Sundays. And you get there, and then you get there, and it's all closed.

[E]

I. I've, like, ran it like, I will not.

[A]

Curses, Christians.

[F]

And Chick fil a was my first job too.

[A]

So how much weight are you Looking.

[F]

To lose between 40 and 50 pounds. I do it by my one year anniversary in September.

[B]

So now are you still on that medicine?

[F]

Nope, I'm not on anything now except donuts. I'm scared to try anything else.

[A]

Okay, so £40 by September. And if you don't get it done, you are willing to put a tattoo on that says, I couldn't lose the weight.

[F]

Oh, yeah, I'm ready.

[D]

Really?

[F]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[E]

But I mean, I couldn't lose the weight. Like we have to come up with a better tattoo than that.

[A]

I couldn't lose the weight. Dammit.

[D]

That's pretty bad. Think about somebody walking up to you and being able to read that on your arm.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, that's horrible. That is a pretty good motivation by humiliation right there.

[D]

And I mean, I don't know if you can quite understand the depths of that as being a man, but as a woman to have that put on your body anywhere.

[F]

My husband's really big about not having stuff visual. I mean, tattoos. I have a tattoo in my lower back. He's like, nothing visual. I don't want to see anything. But I think with that being kind of offered there, I think he's going to push really hard for me not.

[D]

To be careful what you ask.

[B]

Yeah, but the thing is, if it doesn't work out, you have to get the tattoo because you can't come back and say, well, my husband said I couldn't get the tattoo because that's what you're just saying is he doesn't want a visible tattoo.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Give me the motivation to work even that much harder so I don't have to get it.

[A]

All right, so this is your commitment right now?

[F]

That's my commitment.

[E]

We have to get a lawyer to draw something up.

[A]

Seriously.

[F]

My husband sat as a lawyer, so I'm sure he probably did.

[A]

Okay, let's do this. Let me put you on hold. We'll talk to you over the next couple of days. We'll negotiate exactly what you could put on your arm or your leg or whatever if you don't lose the £40. But that £40 that you want to lose is your anniversary date, right?

[F]

Yep. Anniversary date.

[C]

September 8th.

[A]

September. So that'd be a bittersweet anniversary date.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, let me put you on hold. Or the best one, you know, or the best one.

[B]

She can't back out because her husband said no. That's only my, my only concern. Because even when we did, you know, Jen, was it last year, the photo, or was it the year before?

[A]

Last year.

[E]

Last year.

[B]

And even. Even with the photo resolution challenge we had a year ago, there were women that had reasons, had excuses, motivated in January. But come May, for some reason, they couldn't be a part of it. So that's only my concerns. Well, my husband said no, and no, he can't.

[A]

I'll take one more call. Good morning, Sarah. You're on Q100.

[C]

Good morning.

[A]

Good morning. How are you?

[C]

I'm pretty good. How are you all doing?

[A]

Good. I just want to set the parameters right off the bat that, you know, this is the ultimate motivation by humiliation. If you can't succeed in your resolution this year, we're going to tattoo you.

[C]

That's fine.

[F]

I actually am volunteering my fiance and myself.

[A]

Beyonce and yourself?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Does he know about this yet?

[C]

Well, I'll have to call him this.

[F]

Morning, but I have a strong feeling he'll be okay with the Tattoo. He has 15 tattoos himself, so another one I think would be okay with him.

[E]

This one's gonna say, essentially, I suck.

[A]

What's the resolution?

[F]

We're gonna get married this year. We've been engaged almost two years now. We have a child together. And, you know, it's been back and forth and every excuse under the sun as to why right now isn't a good time.

[E]

How old's your baby?

[F]

Nine months old.

[E]

Because we want to tattoo the kid as well.

[F]

He does have a tattoo for her.

[E]

I'm illegitimate. We want to tattoo that on the baby. I didn't want to use that word.

[A]

That's what I was thinking. Hey, Sarah?

[C]

Yeah?

[A]

Is it mostly your excuses or his excuses?

[F]

Oh, no, it's totally his excuses.

[A]

So the tattoo that you guys would get at the end of the year if you are not married would be, we couldn't commit. Or he would put, I just can't commit.

[F]

Yes.

[D]

And yours would be, I just couldn't get him to marry me.

[F]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Couldn't sucker him into it.

[A]

All right, that is a deal.

[B]

If he agrees to it.

[A]

If he agrees to it. So we're gonna have to talk to you again tomorrow morning. Cause you still have to get his approval on it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But if you come on tomorrow morning, then you will be our third. Okay.

[F]

All righty.

[E]

I'll.

[F]

I'll give him a call, and we'll try and get this thing together then.

[A]

All right, Let me put you on hold. Don't go anywhere, and we'll get all your information. Okay?

[F]

All right. Sounds great.

[A]

All right.

[E]

Should say even getting knocked up didn't work.

[D]

He wouldn't marry me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And his on his arm is I can't commit. I can't commit. And you have to explain that to every woman that he ever sees without a shirt on ever again.

[D]

Get it?

[A]

The bird show.