Full Show PT 3: Monday, July 6 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, July 6 [Vault]

Date: July 6, 2026
Cast: Bert, Jeff, Jessica, Megan, Natalie, Plus Callers & Guests

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show blends authentic humor, candid life stories, and real listener drama. From celebrating significant weight-loss journeys for charity, to a heated debate on parental interference in prom dates, and an awkward voicemail overshare threatening a friendship, the cast offers both laughs and genuine insights. The show wraps up with an update on a surprise wedding plan that didn't go as intended.

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Segment 1: Healthy Trim Challenge – Weight Loss for a Cause

[01:01 – 14:34]

Key Points

• The Challenge:
  Healthy Trim (an all-natural dietary supplement) sponsored a challenge: For every pound lost by ten selected listeners, $50 would be donated to Bert’s Big Adventure, a charity sending children with chronic illnesses to Disney World.

• Selection & Motivation:
  868 people applied; 10 contestants were chosen. Bert voices some disappointment that not everyone took the challenge as seriously as hoped, emphasizing the direct impact on charity donations.

• Extra Support:
  Trainers were provided to assist contestants. The group is dubbed the "Healthy Trim Posse."

• Contestant Spotlights:

  • Holly (Chef for the Governor):
    • Lost 25 pounds in 6 weeks (Started at 251 lbs)
      • "I'm down 25." (04:29 – Holly)
      • Despite being surrounded by food, her cravings are curbed:
        • “I did a buffet for 100 women…did not lick my fingers once.” (04:42 – Holly)
        • “I even…had an extra glass of wine, but I didn’t eat one-third of what I normally would have eaten.” (05:00 – Holly)
  • Jay (Prize Pupil):
    • Lost 56 pounds in 6 weeks (Started at 343 lbs, now 287 lbs)
      • “56 pounds in six weeks?” (08:15 – Jay confirming with Bert)
      • His cravings—including caffeine and diet soda—vanished:
        • “From day one, there was no craving whatsoever.” (09:29 – Jay)
      • Health benefits: His blood pressure normalized for the first time in 27 years, possibly allowing him to go off meds.
      • Emotional motivator:
        • “If you would have known how bad the caffeine cravings [were]...from day one, no headaches, no nothing. It was awesome.” (10:25 – Jay)

• Others Featured:

  • Jeremiah (Former Georgia Tech football player):
    • Started at 498 lbs, down 37 lbs without regular exercise, encouraged to keep going to regain the ability to wear his national championship ring.
    • “Hopefully his friends and family will say, Jeremiah, you got to be able to wear the ring again.” (12:37 – Matthew)

• Overall Impact:

  • About 370–380 total pounds lost so far (Approx. $19,000 raised for charity).
  • New promotion: $7 donated to Bert’s Big Adventure for every Healthy Trim purchase in the next 48 hours.

Notable Quotes

• Bert (about seriousness):
  • “Every pound you don’t lose is going away from this trip down to Disney World.” (02:35)
• Jay:
  • “It wasn’t actually the announcement for the Healthy Trim challenge...by the time I got there, I was bawling like that.” (07:34)
• Bert (about Jay’s achievement):
  • “That’s $5,000, which is probably about one family that's going to Disney World just because of you.” (10:41)
• Matthew:
  • “Healthy Trim completely curbs those cravings.” (06:47)

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Segment 2: “Prom Mom” – Should a Parent Judge Their Kid’s Date?

[16:08 – 26:37]

Key Points

• Caller Dilemma:
  Janine (using a voice disguiser) is upset that her “popular” son is bringing an “overweight, not very popular” girl to prom. She looked up the girl on Facebook and judged her lack of friends and activities.

• Panel & Listener Response:

  • The show panel is incredulous and gently confrontational, seeing Janine as a “helicopter mom.”
  • Jessica: “If she had pictures up there of her underage drinking or something, I can see you being upset about it, but...she’s maybe not quite as popular as your son is, but there’s something about her that he really likes.” (18:07)
  • Jeff: “All he’s gonna remember is that he went with the fat girl.” (20:19) — Promptly challenged by others.
  • Kayla and Christy (callers): Defend the son’s choice, praise compassion and substance over looks.
  • Megan to caller: “What if she’s new to the community?...You haven’t even given this girl a chance. You haven’t had a conversation with her at all.” (20:53, 23:49)

• Consensus:
  Let kids make their own choices—define 'best' for themselves. The “best” may not match a parent's standards.

• Advice Given:

  • Jeff: “Tonight you should just ask him why he chose that girl and what he likes about her. Don’t go anything further.” (25:37)

Notable Quotes

• Bert:
  • “Let your kid define what best is for himself or herself.” (23:06)
  • “Here’s one way to approach it. Just shut up.” (25:31)
• Jessica:
  • “Stop hovering over this child of yours. It sounds like he’s a wonderful kid. Maybe it’s the fact that this girl...is a great person and he wants everyone else to see that.” (24:46)

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Segment 3: The Voicemail That Could Ruin a Friendship

[27:12 – 35:06]

Key Points

• Jessica’s Confession:
  She habitually leaves long voicemail updates for distant friends. In a recent message, she trashed an old acquaintance (calling him cheesy/lame) whom she discovers mid-call is dating her best friend.

• The Dilemma:
  Jessica fears her voicemail will be discovered and could irreparably damage her friendship. She hopes her friend will skip the voicemail, having already spoken to her directly.

• Cast Analysis:

  • Bert offers hope: “If you just talked to her, maybe she didn’t listen to the voicemail.” (31:27)
  • Jeff: “You’ll never, ever know...if they get married and you don’t get invited to the wedding...” (32:22)
  • Jessica: “This is the danger of voicemail.” (32:42)
  • Cast jokes about subtle “damage control.”

Notable Quotes

• Jessica (Caller):
  • “I just can’t believe...this is the danger of voicemail.” (32:42)
• Bert:
  • “It’s the danger of talking too much.” (32:48)

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Segment 4: Vegas Wedding Ultimatum – Did She Say Yes?

[35:11 – 40:35]

Key Points

• Recap:
  Previously, Janine’s sister considered surprising her hesitant fiancé (in Vegas for work) with an on-the-spot wedding, but flight costs derailed the plan.

• What Actually Happened:

  • The bride wore her wedding dress when the fiancé returned home, giving him an ultimatum: get married this weekend or not at all.
  • He agreed; they’re marrying at City Hall instead.

• Discussion:

  • Cast reads the hesitation as a potential red flag.
    • “If he’s been hesitant or fighting her on setting a wedding date, then he doesn’t really want to get married.” (36:06 – Jessica)
  • The panel muses about the romance (or lack thereof) in ultimatum marriage proposals.

Notable Quotes

• Janine:
  • “He was down with it, which makes me think that he would have been fine with the Vegas thing.” (38:23)
• Jessica:
  • “Afterwards, she’s gonna feel kind of rotten about it...Like, it doesn’t feel 100% authentic.” (40:24 – Bert, echoing Jessica’s sentiment)

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Memorable Moments

• Jay’s Emotional Testimony:
  • “Every day, two and a half liters of diet soda...from day one, no craving whatsoever.” (09:29 – Jay)
• Parental Supervision Satire:
  • “Here’s one way to approach it. Just shut up.” (25:31 – Bert)
• Voicemail Dread:
  • “You’ll never, ever know...if they get married and you don’t get invited...” (32:22 – Jeff)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Healthy Trim Challenge: 01:01 – 14:34
• Prom Mom Debate: 16:08 – 26:37
• Voicemail Mix-up: 27:12 – 35:06
• Wedding Ultimatum: 35:11 – 40:35

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Conclusion

The Bert Show delivers a genuinely entertaining and relatable experience—balancing encouragement and humor while confronting real issues. From public weight-loss victories to navigating generational and social boundaries, the team isn’t afraid to hold a mirror to listeners, often with a wink and a knowing laugh.

Transcript

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[Show Announcer]

the bird show.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

It was a couple of weeks ago that Matthew Dwyer came in here from Healthy Trim. And Healthy Trim is that all natural diet supplement that I endorse for these guys that I really, really believe in. And I've seen it work for my friends, my family. My wife is three pounds away from her. Her goal weight right now being on Healthy Trim. And Matthew came in here weeks ago, and he made a really cool offer for Burt's Big Adventure.

[McDonald's Announcer]

He.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

We chose 10 Burt show listeners that really wanted to lose weight. And Matthew made the offer. Look, I'm gonna give $50 to Burt's big Adventure for every pound of weight loss that these 10 Burk show listeners lose. So we were doing the math in here, man. We're thinking, I mean, if we get really committed Burt show listeners to do this, I mean, I mean, we're Talking about maybe $60,000 of a donation for Burt's Big Adventure so that, you know Matthew, I mean, that's his goal. He's so competitive that he's like, who's the largest?

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Gotta be the biggest.

[Show Announcer]

Gotta be the biggest.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Who's the largest fundraiser you ever had in your life? I could beat that. So he went with 60 grand. All right, so we chose 10 people.

[Jeff]

I hope you're using your time wisely and trying to find somebody between the start of this contest and now to donate, like, 100 grand. Because if Matthew always wants to be the biggest, you just keep getting bigger.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Right, right, right. So Healthy Trim really did. And we got, what, 800 different emails from people that wanted to be on this?

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

868 contestants on top of 1300 people that bought in two days. So those were different. So everyone's interested. But yes, 868 entries in 48 hours.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So initially, we talked about some of the contestants that were going to be involved in this, and some have done really great. Others, I'll be totally and completely honest with you. Others, I've been disappointed in because we said, look, man, I mean, this is for Burt's Big Adventure. Don't do this unless you are committed to losing the weight, because every pound you don't lose is going away from this trip down to Disney World. And I've been a little disappointed that some of our contestants haven't taken it as seriously as I have. Yes, yes.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Well, what I've done is we actually pre bought a trainer. A couple trainers, right, Holly?

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Every Saturday morning at Forever Fit. And so, you know, healthy trim works on its own merits, but if you work out on the supplements, you can lose weight even more. So we have. Well, I think we've gone every extra mile to make sure that you're eating right. And, Holly, you've been helpful with that, and I've been personally working out when I'm in town with you guys. We hired them a trainer and the whole nine yards.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Now, Holly came on. Holly, were you on with us initially?

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

No, sir.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

You were not. Okay. So, Holly, why did you sign up to be part of the contest?

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

I am tired of being fat. I'm a chef by profession, so I'm around food all day long, and I just needed the kick in the butt to get going. And Healthy Trim has been absolutely amazing. And Matthew has been absolutely amazing. Our trainer, Idella, is so motivating, and the few that show up, we call the healthy Trim Posse.

[Jessica]

Oh, that's cute.

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

We work our tails off, and we have a page on Facebook and we moan about our aches and pains and muscles, but it's just. It's absolutely been awesome.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So when we started with you a couple of weeks ago, how much did you weigh?

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

I weighed 251 pounds.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And that was how many weeks ago, Matthew?

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Six weeks ago.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Six weeks ago. And what are you?

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

I'm down 25.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Good for you. Congratulations.

[Jessica]

Congratulations.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Holly, you're the chef for the governor.

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

Yes, sir.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

You need to tell the story about a couple weeks ago when you had to make 200 desserts.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

What did you say?

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

I did a buffet for 100 women, and I had to do all little finger desserts, and I had to cut them all individually, and I did not lick my fingers once.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Wow, that is smart.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Because you didn't crave it.

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

No, I didn't. It's absolutely amazing. You know, I even. I went out to dinner Saturday night with some out of town friends, and I said, I'm not gonna worry about it tonight. You know, I had an extra glass of wine, but I didn't eat one third of what I normally would have eaten when I was blowing it out. I mean, it just.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

That's the power of healthy trim. I mean, you can still eat what you want. You're just gonna eat less portions and feel content.

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

Yep. Yeah, it really is amazing.

[Jeff]

Do you recall what time you had that wine? Cause Sunny's gonna have an issue if it happened on Sunday. I'm just trying to.

[Jessica]

She didn't buy it on Sunday.

[Jeff]

I was just drank it.

[Jessica (Caller)]

You can drink it.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Well, congratulations and thank you very much for helping us out. We still got time, so I still want to mil for some money for birthday.

[Kit Kat Jingle Singer]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

She's gonna lose more. She's motivated. Healthy chins.

[Jessica]

Motivated.

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

Oh, absolutely. I'm doing it and I kind of beat up myself a little bit. Cause some of the girls have done better than me, and I'm very competitive. But I also remind myself that I'm almost twice their age, so it doesn't

[Jessica (Caller)]

come off as fast.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

It's never too late. It is never too late.

[Jeff]

Did you hear the governor when he was out with us, Holly?

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Okay, you were out, Burt. But Governor Perdue called and said was very proud of Holly and was talking about how tough it is to have to work around food all day. But she stuck, you know, sticking to it and working with it. And, you know, he says, you know, she's cooking healthy for him and for the family. So he was. He was very proud.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And I think that speaks to the product too. I really do that. I mean, you're around all this dessert all day, and there's something. Something natural and healthy trim that doesn't make her just want to dive in. So it's working.

[Holly (Contestant/Chef)]

And I'm developing much more healthy menus for events. You know, I find myself just naturally going towards more whole grains and more fish and just developing the whole thing.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

It curbs your cravings for the carbs you desire, the carbs in the fried foods and the sugars. Less healthy Gym completely curbs those cravings. We got to hear from Jay. Yeah.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Get up here, Jay. This is like the prize pupil right here. Every time I talk to Matthew, I'm getting an update from the contestants. First guy he talks about is this dude Jay here.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Jay, how are you?

[Jay (Contestant)]

Am I the cash cow or

[Jeff]

this Isn't that Georgia Tech football Player, is it?

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

No, but we. We've got something for him. We're going to have to talk about him in a minute.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Jay, you started six weeks ago, and how much did you weigh at that time?

[Jay (Contestant)]

343.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And what are you at now?

[Jay (Contestant)]

287.

[Kayla (Caller)]

What?

[Megan]

Congratulations.

[Jessica]

Amazing, really.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Jay's 47. And how many have you ever. Have you tried other meal plans, crazy plans, supplements?

[Jay (Contestant)]

I'm not going to it or say how many, but I've tried it all and it's never worked. Bert, it's your fault that I got on this, because it wasn't actually the announcement for the Healthy Trim challenge. It was the week before. Member of the 5:30 club. I was driving to work, and I heard that little montage you had of the clips of you calling all the families, saying nonchalantly, hey, you're going. And by the time I got there, I was like, thank goodness there's nobody in this car, because I was bawling like that. So the following week, when Matthew was on and you guys announced the challenge, that's when I got into it. And it's been an awesome experience.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So how many pounds is that? I can't do math very well.

[Jay (Contestant)]

56.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

£56 in six weeks?

[Show Announcer]

Yes.

[Jessica]

You gotta feel so different.

[Jeff]

Have you had to buy a new wardrobe?

[Jay (Contestant)]

Not yet. Not yet. The thing is, the last two or three people can't judge my size. So for Christmas presents, I got all my clothes, but the tag's still on them. So I have a way before I have to go out and buy anything yet.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Now here's where I have to sort of step in Matthew and almost warn people that's not normal. I mean, losing that much weight in six weeks on Healthy Trim is going to help you. But that's.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

No, he's working out, you know, he's working out. If you. If you work out regularly on Healthy Trim, you're going to lose a lot of weight. Now, he's a gentleman that's, you know, has more weight to lose than the average person, but that's okay. Like you've talked about, everybody's got to see it start somewhere. And I was talking to Jay, and Jay's like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to keep going. You know, it's. It's motivated him to keep going. 70%, you know, in guys, you'll lose 7 to 12 pounds in the first few weeks. And people say, oh, okay, that's water weight. Well, 70% of the body, of the human body is water anyway. But it's real weight. And no, that's not typical, but if people work out with healthy trim, you're going to lose a heck of a lot of weight. So I think, without question, he can be down £100 by the end of the challenge.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

That's awesome, man.

[Jay (Contestant)]

One thing I wanted to say real quick on that is, though, with the healthy trim, it takes away everything. I mean, my cravings. I was a large cappuccino drinker. Every day, two and a half liters of diet soda a day. A day, honestly. And, I mean, from day one, there was no craving whatsoever. The weird thing about it was the third week, I started getting lightheaded. Third or fourth, I was getting lightheaded. And so I had scheduled a complete physical, and the doctor said, go ahead and bring all your stuff in. And so I brought my healthy trim, plex and shield. And he looked through all that and kept taking my blood pressure. And he goes, he goes, you keep taking what you're taking, but he goes, you're gonna have to come back in four weeks because he goes, your blood pressure is staying normal now. And so I started on blood pressure meds when I was 19 or 20. I'm 40, almost 47, so it'd be the first time in, like, 27 years that I'll be off blood pressure meds.

[Jessica]

Good for you, bro.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

That's fantastic, Matthew.

[Jay (Contestant)]

And healthy trim, because I just. I. I wish I could. I could, I could. I'm not going to get too emotional on you right now, but if you would have known how bad the caffeine cravings, if you try to go all day without having your soda and your coffee. And from day one, no headaches, no nothing. It was awesome.

[Jeff]

Well, if you don't want to get emotional, then try not to think about the fact that if you lose 100 pounds at $50 a pound, that's $5,000, which is probably about one family that's going to Disney World just because of you. So one of the families that Bert called.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Well, next year, when you hear me making those calls, you just pick a family, and you've pretty much paid for one of those families. Jeff. Absolutely right.

[Jeff]

It's about $1,000 a person, right?

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jay (Contestant)]

And I'm glad you. You know, at the last minute when we did the weigh in, you slipped in that BBA magazine. And if anybody gets a chance to really read that magazine, I mean, serious, you start from the beginning and read Bert's vision, and you get into the now and the. The now and then part of it, you can't tell me that's not magical. This is. It's an awesome experience. And this is. I mean, this is great.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Well, thanks for taking it so seriously, man. Hey, Matthew, I get a ton of emails from people that we have to get an update about the Georgia Tech football player Jeremiah that came in here. This dude was the captain on Georgia Tech's national football team. National winning football team in 1990, correct? Right, Jeremiah. And he came in here initially and he said that he weighed 455 pounds, but when you put him on the scale, it was more than that. Right?

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

It was 498.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

498.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Wow.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So how is.

[Jeff]

Dude, he had breakfast that day.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

You know, Jeremiah, I would put him in the category of someone that is taking healthy trim. So he's down 37 pounds, but he's not getting on the treadmill. So he should be down as much as Jay. But I had a couple. I'm trying to motivate him to really get going. So I contacted a couple of his relatives and wearing on my ring now is his national championship on my hand ring that Jeremiah can't fit into anymore

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

because he's too overweight, so he can't even wear it.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

He can't even wear it now.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Doesn't.

[Jessica]

That's his national championship ring from Georgia Tech.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

This is his national championship ring from Georgia Tech when he was All American, when they were national champions.

[Jessica]

Wow.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

He was 265. He's 490. He's down 37 pounds. But hopefully we can get him going. Hopefully his friends and family will say, Jeremiah, I mean, you got to be able to wear the ring again. So if you can lose the weight and get motivated, there's no question.

[Jeff]

Why don't you just threaten to give it to a hardcore UGA fan should

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

he not reach some sort of. That's a great idea.

[Jeff]

That's really good.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

All right, so in the interest of time here, Matthew, do you have a total amount that's been lost so far?

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

I don't have a total amount on me that's been lost so far. I think it's probably. I think the average is in the 30s with 10 people. So it's 300. It's probably about 370, £380 total. But I think we need to, you know, like I said, we want to be the largest contributor. So maybe we have to run something special here.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Yeah, Matthew wants to do the same type thing that he did last time where he runs a special for like 24 hours.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Yeah, I think that look, we're learning all everybody. There's so many healthy benefits to healthy trim. You don't have to be extremely overweight. In fact, your wife Stacy, who looks amazing, she just wanted to lose that £12 that she's tried to for the last five years and couldn't. And she started it a month ago. She's down nine pounds. So everybody needs the energy out there. I don't know anybody that wouldn't like to lose an inch or two. So here's the deal. If other people listening would like to contribute to Burt's Big Adventure, for everyone that buys healthy trim, from today through Wednesday night at midnight for the next 48 hours, HealthyTrim.com will donate $7 per person for everybody who buys healthy trim.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Okay? So that could be big money for us right there. So you just need to go either directly to their website, healthytrim.com or go to q100atlanta.com and we have a link over there also. So for everybody that buys a bottle, we get seven bucks for Birch Big Adventure.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

Seven additional seven bucks. For everybody that buys today all the way through Wednesday night, every person, $7 extra will be donated. So everybody that wants to get involved, that's listening, that wants to raise more money for Burt's Big Adventure. Healthy trims easy. It's all natural and it works. So why wouldn't you try it? And you could donate to Burt's Big

[Show Announcer]

Adventure, the Birch Show.

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Gimme a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Gimme A break, gimme a break Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar the chocolate crispy taste gonna make your day and wherever you go you hear the people say Give me a break, give me a break Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar have a break, have a Kit Kat.

[Jeff]

Hey.

[Show Announcer]

The bird show.

[Jeff]

And it doesn't say voice disguiser, so we'll just put Megan on the phone. Hey, Megan.

[Janine]

Hi. Hi, everybody.

[Jeff]

Do you need a voice disguiser or are you good?

[Janine]

Yeah, I'd like a voice disguiser.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

I think that's a great idea. Yeah, I think you're gonna get beat up pretty badly. I would definitely go on the voice disguiser.

[Jessica]

Save face for her son. Save cool points for him.

[Jeff]

So I guess I gave him kind of a summary of your story, but the floor is yours. Tell us what's going on with your son and the substandard woman that he asked his mom.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Well, so my son. It's his junior prom coming up. And, you know, I've been really. My son's quite popular, actually. And, you know, he's just a great kid. He's a really great kid. And I've been waiting to find out who he was going to bring to prom. And, you know, it's getting later and later. I hadn't heard anything. And finally he came to me and, you know, told me the name of the girl that he asked to prom. And I didn't recognize the name. I'd never heard him say it before. And she's never been around the house or anything. So I looked her up on Facebook. Mm. And I have to say, I was a little disappointed with what? She just, you know, she doesn't have very many friends on Facebook. She's just not very. She's not really involved in a lot of extracurricular activities. She's not, you know, tagged in very many of the group photos from class trips or anything like that. And she's just a little bit overweight and a little, you know, I just feel like she's just a little, you know, beneath him. And that's not fair.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

I must have missed something here. Cause I'm coming off painkillers. Did you say they're going to prom or they're getting married? They're going to prom.

[Schwab Advisor Services Representative]

Okay.

[Jessica]

Regardless, it doesn't sound like she's a bad person. I mean, if she had pictures up there of her underage drinking or something. I can see you being upset about it, but, I mean, Jen, if you're

[Jeff]

not, there's something wrong with you.

[Jessica]

If you're not getting sex, it sounds like she's maybe not quite as popular as your son is, but there's something about her that he really likes.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Maybe it makes a statement about your son. Maybe your son's not the kid that you think he is.

[Jessica]

Or maybe he is and he just likes her or.

[Prom Mom Caller]

I've never. I've never even heard him mention her before. I mean, I. You know, I just don't really understand what's going on. I was hoping to maybe, you know, and I don't know how to do this. That's why I'm calling, to kind of. How do you gently persuade your child away from some dating someone that you don't. That's awfully approve of?

[Megan]

So which one is the major issue? The fact that she's not popular or her weight?

[Prom Mom Caller]

The fact that she's not popular? The fact that she's not involved, that she's not kind of at the same level as him at school.

[Megan]

But why does that matter?

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Especially for one night? And he seems to dig her, so what do you care?

[Prom Mom Caller]

Well, it's prominent. It's a big deal, and it's one of those nights that you remember forever

[Jessica]

and, you know, so let him go with who he wants to take. I mean, he made the effort to go ask this girl to prom as his date, so leave it alone.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

You're one of these helicopter moms, aren't you? These meddling moms that's just looking over your son's shoulder all the time.

[Prom Mom Caller]

I'm not. I'm not. It's just. It's just this, you know, it's prominent, special, and I just, you know, you want the best for your kid, and I want.

[Jessica]

And it sounds like he already took care of that himself, you know?

[Jeff]

Hey, Kayla. Welcome to the bird show.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Hi. Good morning.

[Jeff]

What's going on?

[Kayla (Caller)]

I just wanted to call in because, like, I'm on the cusp of just having graduated high school a couple years ago, so I remember my prom and how often it was that a great

[Jessica (Caller)]

person asked me, and it didn't matter what they looked like.

[Kayla (Caller)]

And my comment is that her son, if he's so such a good person, like, she's claiming she should be proud of the fact that he chose someone not based on what they look like, but based on who they are. And she would rather have him go out with someone who looks good. So maybe they're gonna, I don't know, break his heart later, party and be

[Jessica (Caller)]

really bad that night.

[Jeff]

What? You're. What? You're not taking into account is the fact that years from now, when he looks back on his prom, all he's gonna remember is that he went with the fat girl.

[Megan]

That's not true.

[Jessica]

That's not true.

[Kayla (Caller)]

Maybe he's going to remember how awesome she was, how fun she was to dance with, and how maybe he'll get a lasting relationship out of it. Not what she looked like, but the

[Janine]

actual time he spent with her.

[Kayla (Caller)]

That's what's important about prom.

[Jeff]

What's that? Megan?

[Prom Mom Caller]

If she's so awesome and fun, why isn't she more popular? You know what I'm saying? I mean, if she's such a. If she's so great to be around, then why aren't more people around her?

[Megan]

What if she's new to the community? She just got to this brand new school she just attended this semester.

[Prom Mom Caller]

I didn't have any other high schools listed.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Maybe she's just one of these girls that likes like a tight knit group and just doesn't have a lot of acquaintances. Like, if you're in with her, you're totally in. And if not, she just doesn't like superficial relationships. It could be a million things. My bet is that this is more about you and how your friends are gonna talk about your son than it is about your son.

[Prom Mom Caller]

It's not. I really just want the best for my kid. I mean, I do feel protective of him and I do feel, you know, like I just absolutely want the best for him. And I know how popular he is.

[Jessica]

What about this girl is not the best for him?

[Prom Mom Caller]

Hmm?

[Jeff]

Hey. Hey, Christy. Welcome to the show.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Hey.

[Christy (Caller)]

Oh my God. Mom, you need to chill out. How dare you intervene? Evidently, this. This girl has something that he's looking for. I know. I'm a mom and I don't even allow my kids out on Facebook. So that's probably. You're probably. She's not leaving a footprint for the world to see what she's doing. The cool girls, the popular girls. There's a reason he's probably not asking them out, so you should be grateful that he even has a date as popular as he is.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Take a.

[Christy (Caller)]

Take a chill pill, Mom.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Okay?

[Christy (Caller)]

And start with the superficial because you'll be so thankful that that child picked her over a couple of years later. For someone who's out there, breast implants, the fakies. Because he's so popular and that's what you envision him to be.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Now those have their place. Also, let's not insult. Here's the great divide between, like, parents and kids, for me, in a lot of different cases, is that parents say they want the best for their kids, but they're defining what best is, and they're not allowing what the kid thinks best is for themselves.

[Jessica]

Well, and I would agree with her if she called up and said, this girl looks like she's, you know, she's talking about drugs or underage drinking or she's failing in school or she's, you know, skipping all the time. Okay, I would get that. Like, that in those ways, like, the mom can put her spin on this, you know, on this prom date, but just because she's maybe a little bit more shy and not as popular and doesn't look the way mom wants her to look, that's just crap.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Let your kid define what best is for himself or herself.

[Jeff]

And I think, you know.

[Kayla (Caller)]

You know what?

[Prom Mom Caller]

If you let your kids always define what best is for themselves, you have complete chaos. I mean, that's what a parent's job is, to kind of help inform what best is, not chaos.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

It's okay for them to make. It's okay for them to make mistakes and define what's right for them along the way.

[Prom Mom Caller]

I think I find it very hard to have children. Right. I mean, you know, I'd love to hear from. There's got to be parents out there that. That their kid has been dating or went on date or been around, hanging around someone that they didn't necessarily approve of for a variety of reasons. And I. I've just never been in this situation before. And I want to know how maybe somebody else was able to talk to their kid about it or.

[Megan]

But you haven't even given this girl a chance. You haven't had a conversation with her at all. You have no idea who she is as a person.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

You have no solid reasons to think really that is beneath. Or that your son is in some kind of trouble because he's hanging out with this girl. It's so superficial. It's ugly.

[Jeff]

I think your son deserves credit because you know what? The hot girls would not be as willing to put out. Like, I think if this girl's a little. Not physically attractive, stop it.

[Jessica]

There are high schoolers still listening right now.

[Jeff]

I'm just saying everybody knows that. Chunky girls a little bit.

[Schwab Advisor Services Representative]

Stop.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Jeff. I'm not saying that I think that he's in some sort of trouble. I just think that he's maybe not. He doesn't have the confidence of knowing how great he actually is. I think that he just doesn't really realize everything that he has to offer. That he doesn't see himself as popular and dynamic as he is. And I want to make sure that he understands.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Megan]

I'm glad he's not as shallow.

[Jeff]

Hey, Valerie.

[Janine]

Hi.

[Jeff]

What's going on?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Stop hovering over this child of yours. It sounds like he's a wonderful kid. And maybe it's the fact that this girl doesn't really fit in or is a great person and he wants everyone else to see that.

[Prom Mom Caller]

And he has compassion.

[Jessica (Caller)]

He sounds like he's much better than you are.

[Jessica]

Agreed.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Yeah. Someone's done something right with your. Your kid. Something really right.

[Jeff]

What was it?

[Christy (Caller)]

He's.

[Jessica (Caller)]

He's great. Let. Let him be great. Let everyone see how great he is.

[Jessica]

I wonder what his reaction would be if he heard this whole conversation. Have you already said he would say to you.

[Jeff]

Have you already said something to him about the quality of girl that he picked?

[Prom Mom Caller]

No, that's why I'm calling. I want to know how to. How to kind of approach that subject with him.

[Jessica]

How about just shut up?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Don't worry about it.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Here's one way to approach it. Just shut up.

[Jeff]

I think.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Nice advice.

[Jessica]

I think.

[Jeff]

I think that you should just. Without evaluating or pressuring. I think tonight you should just ask him why he chose that girl and what he likes about her. Don't go anything further. Just find out for us in the next 24 hours.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Tell me a little bit more about this girl that you're taking. A prom?

[Janine]

Yes.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

That's all it's gotta be.

[Jeff]

Why? And don't pressure. Don't why her? Don't try to compare her to other girls.

[Jessica]

You think that's really possible for in the class?

[Jeff]

I just want you to try it. And then we will. And then when we get his answer, we will have you on again and we will get you the advice you're looking for. But you have to only ask him that question.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Just why? Why he picked her.

[Jeff]

Exactly how Bert said it.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Tell me a little bit more about this girl that you're taking. A prom.

[Jeff]

That's it?

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

That's it? That's all you gotta say?

[Prom Mom Caller]

All right.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

All right.

[Jeff]

You sure you can do it?

[Prom Mom Caller]

Okay, I can do it. No, I'll do it.

[Jeff]

We're getting you the advice that you wanted.

[Prom Mom Caller]

All right? Yes. Thank you.

[Jeff]

You're welcome.

[Prom Mom Caller]

I will ask him. Alright. Okay.

[Jeff]

We'll have you on again tomorrow.

[Megan]

I'm annoyed.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Leave alone man. Serious? I have no idea.

[Jeff]

I love Birch show listeners so much. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much for making life so Easy.

[Show Announcer]

The virtue.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Jeff and Jessica are in the middle of sort of a situation that has to end sometime over the next 24 hours.

[Jeff]

It's not me. I didn't do anything.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

For once, you sitting back enjoying the ride.

[Jeff]

For once. There is a big screw up in the Dollar Castle in Sandy Springs and I didn't do it. Okay, 100%. Jessica.

[Megan]

Jessica, what'd you do?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Well, first of all, I think I'm in danger of losing my best friend.

[Megan]

Oh, no.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Seriously?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Yes. And you know what? It's because I talk too much and I leave too much information on voicemail and I'm not even going to do that anymore.

[Jessica]

Uh oh. What happened?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Well, I have a, like one of my best friends. She doesn't live here. We, we don't talk on the phone that much. I mean, we exchange voicemails a lot because we play phone tag. So we leave a lot of information on voicemail, Facebook, whatever.

[Jeff]

It's almost annoying the way Jessica leaves this girl voicemail messages because it's like, hey, just call and say hey, blah, blah, blah. Jeff and I are on our way to the airport because we're going to Panama. I don't know. I don't even know if I told you we were going to Panama. We're going to Panama. And it's so weird because Jeff's co worker Jen is going to be in Central America and his co worker Bert is going to be in Central America. And you know, Bert's a surfer and Jen's going to surf camp. So that's really cool. But they're not gonna be together, obviously. They're going separately. Anyways, we've got that going on. And Sasha learned a new trick. And we'll leave like a four minute message with an update of everything of the past two weeks.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Jeff]

All sorts of random information. I make fun of her for it, but that's how she communicates with like two or three of her friends from other states.

[Megan]

Okay.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Yeah.

[Jessica (Caller)]

So that's exactly what I do. And I got on Facebook the other day and I noticed that she's friends with this guy from our past. And you know how when you're friends with someone on Facebook, you can see, even if you're not friends with them, you can see their friends pictures.

[Christy (Caller)]

Right.

[Jessica (Caller)]

So I noticed that she's now friends with this guy that we both used to know. So of course I went and looked at all his pictures and I saw all these photos and so I, you know, I decided that based on the photos, he was a little cheesy. And lame and, you know, all these other things. So I called her to leave a message, and we'd been playing phone tag for, like, a week. So I'm on her voicemail leaving this really long message. Oh, my God. Can you believe. I can't believe you're friends with this guy. What a cheese ball he turned out to be. I mean, and then I'm like, rattling off this list of things like, can you believe this? Can you believe that? Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Jeff]

Making fun of his car. The way he dresses now.

[Megan]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

Like, the way he's decorated the inside of his house. How he was cool in high school, but has grown up to be the biggest redneck dork ever.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Just every area ripping on this guy.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Ripping. And I'm like, blah, blah, blah. And I'm so in the zone of being mean that I see, you know, my phone beeps. I'm getting a call, and it's her. I'm like, oh, my God. So excited to actually talk to her in person that I just click over without ending that first call. I just click over. So she and I start talking, blah, blah, blah. We get into the conversation of this guy. Turns out that they are, like, kind of starting to date. Oh, no.

[Jessica]

Oh, no.

[Megan]

Insert face.

[Jessica (Caller)]

And I'm like, oh, my gosh. So tell me about this guy. You know, I can't find you on Facebook. She's like, yeah. Oh, my gosh, I have so much to tell you. We actually went out to lunch. We this and we that, and. And, you know, she starts going into all these things.

[Janine]

I'm like, well, so.

[Jessica (Caller)]

I mean, are you dating? And she's like, I don't know. I think so. I hope so. And so, you know, I start talking about that in the back of my mind. I'm thinking, oh, my God, I hope that that voicemail I left somehow erases, which I know it won't. She doesn't check her voicemail very much, but I haven't heard back from her after our. After we actually talked. So I know at some point she's going to hear that voicemail, and then I'm going to have to. She's going to feel terrible about it because I said all those bad things, and she actually likes this guy. And when I was on the phone with her, I was, you know, I didn't say bad things to her face, so. Such a hypocrite.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Now, you might have saved yourself. You might have saved yourself, and here's why, okay? If the same chain of events happened to me and I left a voicemail, but then I talked to the person as I was leaving the voicemail. When I get off the phone with you, my assumption is you were just leaving the details of the voicemail that you and I talked about live. So I just immediately delete and I move on to the next voicemail.

[Jeff]

Is that a guy thing, though, or do girls do that?

[Megan]

No, we do that same thing.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Cause why listen to a message when you just talk to the person? So she might have just deleted it and moved on.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Now, that's a great point.

[Jeff]

How far into the message was it before you started ripping on this guy? Like, was it immediately, like, hey, oh, my God, this dude on Facebook, blah, blah, blah, blah? Or was it like, hey, I got so much to tell you about, and then, like, it was the second or third thing down the list?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Yeah, it was the second or third thing. You know, because, you know, when I talk crap about someone, I don't just jump right into it.

[Jeff]

You got to warm up.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

You got to take a pace lap. You got to throw bp.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

You got to stretch a little bit.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Sure.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

I bet that if you're leaving, if you're one of those people that leaves long messages, and the third thing you leave in that message is ripping on the guy she three. Seven'd you.

[Jeff]

Now, you know what the bad thing about that is? You will never, ever know.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Right.

[Jeff]

Cause it is possible she could listen to it and never tell you and never bring it up and just never bring up this guy. And you'll know if they get married and you don't get invited to the wedding.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And I don't think that you have the kind of personality that can allow it just to sit. Like, at some point, I think you're gonna break down and say, did you ever listen to that voicemail message I left you?

[Jessica (Caller)]

You're probably right. Oh, I just can't believe this is the danger of voicemail.

[Jeff]

I know.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

It's the danger of talking too much.

[Jeff]

Exactly.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Thank you.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And judging.

[Jeff]

I solved it. By the way, Bert, while using your tip, all you have to do is call her back today and ask her if she listened to the message because you left him. They included something in that message that you haven't talked to her about. So, hey, did you listen to the message and hear that and just make something random up? Like, Jeff and I test drove the car that you own. We might get one or something totally random, but would be relevant.

[Matthew Dwyer (Healthy Trim Representative)]

No.

[Megan]

Bad Wendy, because then what if the message is still saved in her voicemail, then she's Gonna go back and listen to it.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

She'll be intrigued to listen to it.

[Megan]

You can't do that.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

This is a ticking time bomb right here.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Wow.

[Jeff]

And I. And I love the fact you just

[Natalie]

gotta hold out and see.

[Jeff]

And I love the fact that you'll never find out.

[Megan]

Well, she may say something.

[Jessica]

She would say something. If she hears it and she's offended, is she the kind of friend that would say something?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Yes. Because, you know, another thing is when we were talking about. When we were talking about that guy, you know, and we were kind of talking about them dating, she started to go off into this tangent about how now that she's a little bit older, she doesn't judge people as harshly and

[Prom Mom Caller]

gives everyone a chance.

[Jessica]

Seriously.

[Jessica (Caller)]

And I really started to feel bad because I was like, oh, my gosh, who am I to judge this person? I mean, really? And then she's like, you know, I just. I don't like to judge people anymore. And she kind of went a little bit under that. So, yeah, she might say something about that.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So when is the next time that you are supposed to have communication with her?

[Megan]

I don't know.

[Jessica (Caller)]

I think it's just whenever. I mean, there's no time. It's just I'll probably start calling her more often now so I can see if she's gonna call me back.

[Jeff]

Well, the way that you guys trade voicemail messages, if you get one from her, that's just, hey, call me then. You know.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

You know what it might be also? It might be when she goes out with this guy for a second time or something. She may call you back and just say, you know what? You totally miss pegged this guy. He's so not what you think.

[Jeff]

Or she may. While you find it a little rednecky, she may find his Trans Am and the T tops totally sexy.

[Jessica]

Hey, those are hot.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

All right, Jess, keep us posted.

[Jessica]

All right?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Okay.

[Show Announcer]

You're on the Vert Show. Listen, it's the Vert Show.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

All right, Natalie, do you have the recap of the first time we had Janine on here? I'd love to hear that.

[Janine]

It's kind of crazy, actually. My sister's Beyonce has been real hesitant to set a date for their wedding. And he is actually in Vegas with our father this weekend for work. He works with our family business, and we had the idea that we're just gonna pop on West Vegas with my mom and my sister, who's obviously the bride to be, and surprise him and get it done.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Okay, so that was when you guys were out at Filene's basement, right? She calls up, fiance's in Vegas already. And they had this great idea. We'll just fly to Vegas and we'll just get married there. He'll be into it, man.

[Jessica]

The key to what she said right there, too, was her fiance has been hesitant about setting a wedding date.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Okay.

[Megan]

It's been a year since they've been engaged.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And what does that speak to you guys?

[Jessica]

That he doesn't want to get married.

[Jeff]

Really?

[Megan]

Or at least not yet.

[Jessica]

It's only because typically it's the girl who picks the date and, like, gets the ball rolling. And, you know, I mean, you're watching producer Joanna do it right now.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So the engagement really is just the hush engagement. You get the ring, and then there's still time for him to bail because he really doesn't want to get married.

[Jessica]

To me, that's what it sounds like. If he's been hesitant or fighting her on setting a wedding date, then he doesn't really want to get married.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Well, here's Janine. Let's find out what happened in Vegas. Hey, Jeanine.

[Prom Mom Caller]

Hey, guys.

[Jessica (Caller)]

How's it going?

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Good. How are you today?

[Janine]

I am fine.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

It's been a couple of days since these guys talked to you. So the last we talked to you, you had the idea to go on out to Vegas. You're gonna surprise the fiance, say, you know what, this is a great weekend right here. Let's just get this done right now. Did you have any hesitation, like on the plane out thinking, okay, this isn't gonna work?

[Janine]

Well, it actually didn't exactly work out how we planned, but it was still good. So basically, my sister and I were in charge of going and getting her dress. Going to get, you know, a dress for me. I was obviously her maid of honor and all that good stuff. And my mom was just. All she had to do is handle booking the travel and booking a way to get to the airport and all that good stuff. Ends up that last minute tickets to Las Vegas are expensive, so we couldn't find flights for under, like $900.

[Jessica]

Oh, that's a lot.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Janine]

So we ended up actually not going.

[Jeff]

So your love is not your sister's love is only worth what, like 450?

[Jessica (Caller)]

Well, it just kind of, I think,

[Janine]

made my mom also realize that it was a bold thing to do. And, you know, I think my mom kind of had a little bit of doubt about it too, to be honest with you. So anyway, what actually ended up happening was my sister put her wedding dress on that we got her gorgeous and wore it when her fiance got home and basically gave him an ultimatum and was like, I'm ready for this. You know, just, you need to let me know if you are or not. And so they are going to just be married this weekend down at city hall.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So she said to him, look, I've got the dress. I'm sick of waiting for a date. It's now or it's not going to happen at all.

[Janine]

Yeah, like, yeah, exactly.

[Jessica]

Wow, that's bold. And he said, cool.

[Janine]

Yeah, he was down with it, which makes me think that he would have been fine with the Vegas thing.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So unless he bails this weekend, unless

[Jeff]

he was mad that you spent 3,600 bucks for the free all to fly out. Why couldn't you have just done this at home in front of a justice of the peace? So it's gonna. It's 100% definitely gonna happen this weekend. Like, they're gonna go get the licenses and all the stuff they have to do, and.

[Janine]

Yep, we're gonna have a little party afterward, and then I think they're gonna plan a honeymoon in the next couple weeks.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

So now has this. Has the process started? Because here we are now, and it's Wednesday. So I'm assuming that, like, blood work had to be drawn and papers had to be drawn up already if they're getting married this weekend. So has he already started that process, or is he put that on hold also?

[Janine]

I know that they're doing whatever. Believe me, I would have heard about it if he put something on hold. I'm not the bride, so I'm not exactly sure what they have to do,

[Jessica]

you know, have to do that in Georgia.

[Janine]

But, yeah, I definitely would have heard about it if you were doing anything to this stall.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

I know you can't just show up on whatever Friday or Saturday and say,

[Jessica]

okay, we're here to get blood, apply for a marriage license, but I don't think you have to take blood.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

I have no idea.

[Jessica]

Or anything like that.

[Jeff]

According to Joanna, and she knows a thing or two about weddings right now, you do not have to get a blood test in Georgia right now.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

All right, so maybe it happens this weekend now.

[Jeff]

Okay, Maybe perhaps appreciate, you know, appreciate the lovebird. It will happen.

[Jessica]

I wonder how that makes her feel to have to demand ultimatum style him

[Megan]

marry her or rush your wedding.

[Jessica]

That's not, like, really the most romantic

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

story to tell that I had to sort of push him into this week.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

And why couldn't the ultimatum be like, okay, this has to happen by July 15, or it's not gonna happen at all. Like, why did it have to be this weekend?

[Janine]

Well, I think she just is. Finally. They've been engaged for so long that she kind of already unromantic, and she's kind of already over it. So at this point, she's like, all right, we're both mature adults. We are in love. We do want to be married, supposedly. If you do, let's just do it.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Okay.

[Jessica]

Look, I can understand the sentiment. I just think afterwards, she's gonna feel kind of rotten about it.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Like, it doesn't feel 100% authentic.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All right.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

Janine, thank you for the update. Appreciate it.

[Jessica (Caller)]

Okay.

[Janine]

No problem.

[Bert (Host of The Bird Show)]

IQ 100.

[Show Announcer]

This is the Bird Show.