Full Show PT 3: Monday, June 1 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, June 1 [Vault]

Date: June 1, 2026
Cast: Bert, Melissa, Jen, Wendy, (Plus callers and news audio)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is a lively blend of real-life dating stories, candid behind-the-scenes discussions about the show's cast, predictions revisited, and an eyebrow-raising news segment. Themes of honesty, workplace loyalty, personal boundaries, and sometimes absurd real-life headlines color the morning’s conversations. Throughout, the cast’s humor, candidness, and camaraderie are on full display.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wendy’s Night Out: Dating and Red Flags

[01:00 – 08:21]

Wendy’s Adventures in Meeting New People

• Wendy recounts a recent night out where she was proactive in meeting new people and very direct in establishing status (“What's your status?”).
• She shares an experience with a man, “Colt,” who claimed to be previously married but gave off suspicious vibes.

Investigating Relationship Status

• Wendy's gut feeling led her to snoop on MySpace to confirm Colt’s story.
• She finds that Colt’s marital status on MySpace is outdated, but his supposed wife’s profile is recently updated and still carries his last name.

“So I'm searching and searching. Oh, I found his profile holler. And you're still married.” – Wendy [04:05]

The Group Debates “Separated” vs “Used to Be Married”

• The cast agrees "used to be married" should mean divorced, while "separated" implies ongoing entanglement.
• Jen and Melissa warn about the dangers and ambiguity of dating someone “separated.”

"Used to be married means divorced. Done. And separated means lingering. I wouldn't deal with a separation, and I would have rather have known that than waste two hours of my life..." – Wendy [05:12]

Listeners Weigh In

• A caller suggests women often keep married names for years, so an online “last name” isn't always proof of marital status.
• Ultimately, Wendy texts Colt to call him out directly on his status.

Memorable Moment:
Wendy live-texing “Are you still married?” at the group’s urging.

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2. Inside Look: Jeff’s Contract Stalemate

[09:46 – 26:03]

Bert Lays Out the Situation

• Bert expresses emotional exhaustion and concern over ongoing contract disputes between beloved cast member Jeff and Cumulus Corporate.
• He describes the process: radio contracts operate like sports teams—each member negotiates independently.

"As far as we're concerned, everybody in this room wants Jeff to be part of this show. 1,000%." – Bert [10:27]

Cast Reactions & Emotional Honesty

• The team grapples with the possibly of Jeff’s departure, expressing denial, worry, and frustration.
• Bert shares his attempts to mediate, feeling “exhausted” by the negotiations.

“I'm exhausted, and I've ridden every step of the way with Jeff on this whole thing, and I am spent on it.” – Bert [14:22]

Listener Input:

• Listeners call with strong feelings, either threatening to stop listening if Jeff leaves or urging the team to embrace change.
• Some ask what they can do. Bert carefully suggests directing feedback to Cumulus Corporate, not the station staff.

“You know, what listeners are going to ask next is: what can they do about it?” – Melissa [15:44]

Broader Workplace Issues

• A caller questions sympathizing with Jeff over a better contract during “a recession” and suggests the show use this as a moment to diversify.

"We're in a recession right now... so why are we so upset if Jeff didn't choose to take what he was offered?" – Caller [20:24]

The Cast Emphasizes:

• Individual negotiation structure of their contracts.
• The show's authenticity and transparency (“we would be up front with you” – Bert [24:58]).
• Emotional difficulty in discussing the future without Jeff.

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3. Revisiting Predictions for 2009

[26:58 – 34:05]

The Cast Recaps Last Year’s Bets:

• Debates on everything from Bert getting a Wii to the revelation of “Big Papa” on Real Housewives, celebrity deaths, and notable pop culture relationships.
• Joking and playfulness dominate as the cast tallies “who was right and who was wrong.”

"Will Dick Clark ring in 2010? Because he was in bad shape..." – Bert [29:14]

Highlights:

• Patrick Swayze’s predicted death: somber but delivered with a sense of morbid curiosity.
• Ongoing ribbing about Bert’s family having a Wii despite long-standing resistance.

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4. April Fools’ Joke Gone Wrong: Tattooing Children

[34:33 – 39:36]

The Bert Show’s Fake Tattoo Stunt

• Recap of their controversial April Fools’ prank: faked pictures of Bert's young son getting a tattoo (as a joke to prove no one would believe it).
• The joke’s reality: DFCS (Child Services) visited Bert—twice—because someone believed the photos.

"So I take Hayden on up to a psycho tattoo on Roswell Road... and we fake a whole bunch of pictures... and sure enough, man, somebody calls D fax on me." – Bert [36:01]

Reality Check: Actual News Story

• Melissa reports a real Georgia couple tattooed several of their children, facing illegal tattooing and cruelty charges.
• The story shocks the cast: even their ridiculous joke could not compare to real life.

"Georgia is on the map for tattooing children." – Wendy [39:18]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “You have nothing to lose. You owe this guy.” – Melissa, on Wendy confronting Colt [08:15]
• “I've done everything I can the last couple of months to make sure that Jeff is part of this show.” – Bert [11:16]
• "We are not a group collective doing this. It's all... we're all individual contractors." – Jen, explaining radio contract realities [18:50]
• “You guys are so hell-bent on him being there, why don’t you take a break and give him part of your salary if he’s just that important!” – Caller Lisa [23:30]
• “This has blowed up so bad.” – Real-life mother from tattoo news story via Melissa [39:14]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:00 – 08:21: Wendy’s Date Story & Snoop Investigation
• 09:46 – 26:03: Jeff’s Contract Struggles and Cast/Listener Reactions
• 26:58 – 34:05: Predictions Review (Pop Culture & Celebrity)
• 34:33 – 39:36: April Fools Tattoo Prank and Real-World Child Tattoo News

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Tone & Style

The Bert Show remains a blend of real, relatable drama and big laughs, supporting each other as colleagues and friends. Their candid segments—especially around industry negotiations and boundary-crossing news—showcase their willingness to “let listeners in” to both triumphs and behind-the-scenes struggles.

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Conclusion:
This episode delivers signature Bert Show honesty and humor, mixing meaningful discussions about friendship and work with the unpredictability of real-life headlines and on-air antics. Whether debating dating etiquette, struggling to keep a favorite cast member, or confronting jaw-dropping news, the show provides its signature escape—one laugh, gripe, and honest moment at a time.

Transcript

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[Wendy]

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[Melissa]

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[Wendy]

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[Bert]

The Birch show so Wendy had a date all lined up or.

[Wendy]

Well, it wasn't really a date. I was just out and about because I'm a single girl. So I'm trying to just go out there, meet people, meet different guys. And normally I don't like to waste my time. I mean, one of the first questions I ask a guy when I'm sitting there, like, having my cocktail or at the bar, wherever I am, I'm like, what's your status? Do you have a girlfriend? Are you just dating? Are you married?

[Jen]

What's your status?

[Melissa]

What's your status?

[Wendy]

What's good status?

[Bert]

I think legitimate questions, that's definitely a

[Wendy]

normal question because the first guy I ended up meeting had a girlfriend. So I was like, that's great. I'm just gonna move on. Or just ended that conversation. Then I meet another guy walking out of the bar. I'm like, hey, we're going over here. You're really hot. If you want to talk, come over here and chat. Well, I'm like, okay. So I'm sitting at the bar in the next bar with this guy who's really handsome, has one of those unique names that you just don't hear often. We'll just say Colt. We'll just do Colt, because that's not. It's not a common name. So we'll call him Colt.

[Bert]

It's an icebreaker. Something that grabs you. Okay.

[Melissa]

Yep.

[Wendy]

Sitting there, talking to Colt. Have the entire night, like, great conversation. I asked him a Step.

[Melissa]

How long? Like a couple hours.

[Wendy]

Oh, this is like a two hour deal. Like, I didn't force him to sit next to me and talk to me. And I asked the question right off the bat almost immediately because I'm like, well, this other guy I was talking to has a girlfriend. I just want to know your status.

[Bert]

So you literally said. Those words literally came out of your mouth.

[Wendy]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert]

Okay, well.

[Wendy]

Cause I think that's important. I'm not gonna sit there and waste my time with somebody who's already committed or supposedly committed. So sitting there, he was like, I used to be married. I'm like, okay. I mean, I can deal with that. Let's just chat. So we're chatting the entire night and just something was really odd at the end of the conversation. I mean, it was just odd. I don't know what it was. I had a feeling like, this guy's still married. So I had great conversation.

[Melissa]

And then like, did he not give you his number or something? Was he like, dicey about that?

[Wendy]

Dicey at the end because we went to exchange the phone numbers and he took my number, but didn't, like, call mine or put my. His number in my phone. So I couldn't, like, text him back. Back for a follow up, follow up or give him a call the next day if I wanted to. So he had to make the initial move and call me.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Wendy]

So that was. I mean, that's a little off. Normally if you're having a great flag. Yeah, normally if you're having a great conversation, you change numbers.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Both of you guys evenly. So girls do this all the time. I'm doing a little snooping because I have a feeling about this guy. I think he's still married because, I mean, he did send me a text message the next day.

[Bert]

He did.

[Wendy]

But it was. It was just like, hey, hope you made it home safe. And that was it. There was nothing.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Wendy]

Like, ridiculous. I'm like, searching. I go to Facebook. He's not on Facebook, can find him anywhere. So I go to MySpace and I'm looking through everybody because there's only one.

[Jen]

How many people are left on MySpace?

[Wendy]

Actually, there's a lot.

[Jen]

I'm just kidding.

[Wendy]

There's a lot. And there's a lot of people with his first name on MySpace, even though

[Bert]

it was such a unique name.

[Wendy]

Even though. Well, I put in the specific area because he told me, like, what part of town he lived in.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Wendy]

And that he had a home and all this kind of stuff. So I'm searching and searching Oh, I found his profile holler. And you're still married.

[Bert]

MySpace.

[Wendy]

MySpace.

[Melissa]

Now, wait, couldn't that be an old profile, though?

[Wendy]

Okay, we'll go back to this because it gets even better, because she's probably

[Bert]

thinking she's making every. Every probably, like, internal excuse you can to make this guy legit.

[Wendy]

Oh, absolutely. So I'm looking at the Nate, it's last updated. It says 2008. Okay, cool. 2008. Married in 2008. It's 2009. December.

[Melissa]

We're good.

[Wendy]

So I click over to the person that he's supposedly married to, and she still has his last name on her profile that was updated that day.

[Jen]

So he's doing the whole I'm separated thing. Like, there's so many guys out there. Let's just. Let's just say that they. Let's say that they are separated. But I still think that there are so many guys who say, well, I used to be married, I'm separated, that are still living in the same house as their wife and trying to go out there and date.

[Bert]

Is it different if a guy tells you that he's separated and a guy that tells you that he used to be married? Is it the same thing to you, or does it have two different definitions to it?

[Wendy]

It's completely different.

[Melissa]

It is separated says exactly what's going on. Right, Right. Like, that's a lot more clear than used to be married. Used to separate.

[Jen]

Used to be married. He's divorced. Yeah. I would assume that used to be married means divorce. Done. And separated means lingering. Y. I wouldn't deal with a separation,

[Wendy]

and I would have rather have known that than waste two hours of my life sitting there talking to you, having a great conversation for you to be married.

[Melissa]

Have you heard from him?

[Bert]

Separated.

[Jen]

No, he.

[Melissa]

Have you heard from him since?

[Wendy]

I mean, we've exchanged. We exchanged a couple of text messages, but after I saw that, I didn't respond to anything.

[Melissa]

Why don't you just text him and say, are you still married? You should just do right now.

[Bert]

Crazy idea.

[Melissa]

I mean, what do you have to lose? Really? Because.

[Bert]

Do it right now. See if we can get an answer out of this.

[Wendy]

I gotta go grab my phone.

[Bert]

Go get your phone.

[Jen]

Go get your phone.

[Melissa]

Because right now, I mean, you're not really, you know, worried about, like, ruining the relationship because there's, you know, it was a two hour bar conversation, whatever. I mean, I think you could call him out on it.

[Jen]

Yeah. And the separation thing. I would. And I. Yeah. My sister got, you know, kind of screwed over by a guy that did the separation thing because he was saying, oh, well, I live with a roommate. I do this. We're not, you know, it's just a complicated divorce, whatever. And he's living on the couch of his wife's house, you know.

[Melissa]

Well, that's different. But some people go through divorces for like two and three years.

[Jen]

You say that's different, but I think there's a lot. I mean, I would stay as far away from the separation things.

[Bert]

I don't know that I agree with that.

[Melissa]

I don't totally agree with that.

[Bert]

I don't know that I agree with that either. I mean, every case is totally individual.

[Melissa]

Everybody is totally different. But sometimes they last a really long time and it's only a legal battle until it's finished and it's years and years of your life.

[Jen]

You're not allowed that they are living in their own house. If you see proof. They have their own space. If you see proof of that. But if they never let you around and never call you and everything. They're not. No. That has nothing to do with a complicated divorce. It means that they're trying to have their cake and eat it too.

[Bert]

It depends on how long the separation is. Also, like, do you really want to be the first person he or she starts dating right after the separation if it's only gone on for like a month or two? Because there's going to be a lot of emotional baggage going on there.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Bert]

And I think I'd want some more space. But that's. But if a separation is going on for a year, year and a half and he's mentally. Or she's mentally checked out, I would have no problem with that.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Wendy]

It's been done.

[Jen]

You sent a message.

[Melissa]

Good.

[Wendy]

Just random. At 7 o' clock in the morning. Good. That's that odd.

[Bert]

Hey, Christine. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi, Christine.

[Caller]

Hi. Yes, I was just on to bring another idea to the table. Wendy, My sister was married to her first husband. They divorced and she kept his last name for two years because of their child until she remarried. So I don't think that really has a big play on it. A lot of women do that.

[Bert]

Okay, so it could be some wiggle room here.

[Melissa]

Could be some wiggle room with the last name. I know mine didn't change officially for a while too.

[Jen]

But you have.

[Wendy]

It's like hyphenated.

[Melissa]

I. Well, some women don't. Oh, hers was hyphenated. Oh, see, I.

[Jen]

You. But you've got some gut that's telling you something's not right.

[Melissa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wendy]

I mean, I had a feeling, but I was having a great conversation. I didn't want to like just blatantly ask again when I already asked what your status was.

[Bert]

Well, you'll know within three hours.

[Melissa]

You have nothing to lose. You owe this guy.

[Wendy]

No, well, that was just random.

[Bert]

And if you don't hear from him again, he's married, Right? Okay, we'll know by the end of the show. Yeah, well, no, the Bird show.

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[Melissa]

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[Bert]

I'm not exactly sure even where to start sometimes when I'm going to talk about something so big on the show that I'll spend a lot of time thinking about how I'm gonna talk about it and then how we're gonna get out of talking about it also. And in this case, I'm so emotionally invested and spent over everything that's gone on with Jeff over the last like four or six weeks that I'm not even exactly sure where to start with you guys.

[Jen]

Well, maybe explain to listeners who aren't a part of our industry just how, you know, I mean, cause to me, like, I think the confusing thing for so many people is that they don't understand how our jobs work and our contracts work individually.

[Bert]

In most cases, the radio industry is much like any entertainment industry. Like if you take a look at sports and the way sports is handled on contracts, you sign a couple of year contract and then when your contract is Coming up, you start to renegotiate a deal. If your team still wants you and you still want to be there, then you both decide, okay, look, we both like each other, so let's go on and start talking about how much money we're going to get, how much of a raise I'm going to get, and then how long I'm going to stay on the team. In this case, the team is Q100. The team is not the Bert show. Yes, this is our team, but we don't have anything to do with the negotiations of any of the players on this team. That's all done with Cumulus Corporate. As far as we're concerned, everybody in this room wants Jeff to be part of this show. 1,000%.

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Bert]

It was unthinkable to me a couple of weeks ago that we would be at this point with Jeff and his contract, because within our industry, I know some of you guys are gonna have a really tough time believing this. This is a pretty well respected morning show and probably one of the top five around the country. And the other four that I speak of have been around for years. And you do everything you can when you have something so unique like we have here. And we've had. We've been blessed and lucky enough to have the success that we've had here in Atlanta. It's so rare in our industry. Look, you guys listen to radio here in Atlanta. You hear morning shows coming and morning shows going all the time. Radio stations come and go every three, four, five months. So when you have a morning show that has the chemistry that we do, that really is family like we are, you do everything you can to make sure that that team sticks together. So we have done that. I have done that. I have gone above and be. I have done everything I can the last couple of months to make sure that Jeff is part of this show. Jeff and his agent have had tough times with corporate, with Cumulus, and they haven't been able to agree on a contract. Jeff wants a certain amount of money. Corporate is saying, sorry, we don't have it, or I'm not willing to pay it. And that's where the impasse is. Jeff is taking a look at our ratings and our success and saying, I understand what the market is here, but the truth of the matter is we're doing really, really well, and I want to be compensated for that. And corporate is saying, I understand where you're coming from, but the market has changed and your figure is not good enough for us. And there's a stalemate and that's where it is.

[Melissa]

I mean, there's a few more levels of details beyond that, right? Or no, maybe I'm misunderstood.

[Bert]

I think that's the. Those are the basics. Like, I don't. I have to be very protective of both parties here, and I really have to sort of walk a funny line. Cause I'm employed by Q100 and Cumulus, yet Jeff is a friend and he's a teammate that I think is vital to what we do as a success. I want him part of the show emotionally and professionally.

[Melissa]

He's a family member.

[Bert]

Yeah, I want him part of the show. And not doing the show with. I mean, doing the show without Jeff was unthinkable. Unthinkable a month and a half or two months ago to me.

[Melissa]

It still is to me. Like, the whole thing hasn't hit me yet. Like, I've known about this and talked to Jeff over the holidays and been back and forth with the whole thing, but it just, like, seems unfathomable to me. And it's just. It's still. Even right now talking about it still hasn't hit me. He could potentially not be here.

[Jen]

Katie said last night, she said, you don't seem affected at all. I said, because I don't believe. I mean, I don't believe it.

[Melissa]

I don't believe it either.

[Jen]

I've seen the articles. I've seen the rumors. I've seen the tweets and the Facebook and the AJC and all this stuff, and I just. But it just kind of. Yeah, no, I don't. I just don't. You know, I'm much like Jen. It's like. It's so. It's so much not part of my reality that this would change, that I. I guess I have not. I have not accepted the possibility that it will.

[Melissa]

And I'll.

[Bert]

Well, yeah, and I think I'm still in it, too, but I'm at a different place than that. I was at your place a couple of months ago when the waters just became rough. I didn't even take it seriously. I'm like, there's no way that this is going to happen. And then I've been in the negotiations so much and ridden this emotional roller coaster for the last couple of weeks. It was the most restless vacation I ever had. Between having my agent talk to corporate and my agent talk to Jeff's agent and trying to sort of be the ambassador between all parties, making sure this thing doesn't collapse. I'm exhausted, and I've ridden every step of the way with Jeff on this whole thing, and I am spent on it. So what was unthinkable to me a couple of weeks ago, I'm past where you guys are because now I've really had to start thinking, you know what, this is a possibility. So here's what our week looks like.

[Melissa]

I really wish Jeff was here himself to be able to.

[Bert]

He wouldn't be able to tell you anything that I'm not telling you right now. He couldn't say anymore. So here is really what we've got coming up the next week. Jeff could come in here tomorrow morning. He and corporate could see eye to eye on this contract. Things could be done today by five o' clock, and Jeff is part of the show again tomorrow. It could be done on Tuesday and Jeff is here on Wednesday. It could be done on Wednesday and Jeff is here on Thursday. But if Friday rolls around and this thing's not done, then I'd say we're probably looking at a Birch show without Jeff Dahler.

[Melissa]

You know, what listeners are going to ask next is what can they do about it, if anything?

[Bert]

I guess you can. I mean, I guess you could write the radio station. The people here at the radio station don't have anything to do with it. It's at the corporate level. So I guess you could email John Dickey at the corporate level and tell him how you feel about it, because

[Melissa]

that's what listeners are gonna want to do is how do I help? How do I make sure that this team stays together? Cause I think that's what all of us have felt during this process going on behind the scenes. What can I do? I mean, how do we help? How do we make it, you know, how do we make the family stay together?

[Bert]

Anybody got any cash? We can do a. That's really what we need is cash. You know, we live in a world now with the Internet and blogs, and you could certainly let your feelings know online. I don't want to give out. I don't want to give out John's personal voicemail or his cumulus, because again, I'm in a real tough spot here. And I do want to say this, that I don't want to do a show without Jeff$. And I told corporate I do not want to do this show without Jeff$. And I have done, seriously, y', all, everything I can. Everything. At some point, they're gonna tell me either yes or no. And I have. I've. My only thing to do is move on with the show. That's it.

[Melissa]

I don't even want to talk about that yet.

[Wendy]

I don't either.

[Bert]

Mean, I don't. I don't either.

[Melissa]

Let's just not talk about that.

[Wendy]

I love my Jeff.

[Bert]

Hey, Kerry. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

I just wanted to say that if Jeff's not gonna be on the show, I mean, I love you guys, but if Jeff's not gonna be on the show, I'm not gonna listen.

[Bert]

Yeah, it's your prerogative. I mean, there's nothing we can do about that. Some of you guys love Jeff. You'll hate the show without Jeff. You won't even give a new person a try.

[Caller]

It's not that I wouldn't give a new person a try. It's just that he provides a perspective that is needed. I think I agree.

[Bert]

I totally and completely agree. It's not even debatable that this show is based on balance, that when one person is out, there's something missing of their show. Jeff is a large part of the show. So, yeah, I expect that if Jeff isn't part of the show, a whole bunch of you guys will take off, but there's nothing I can do about that.

[Caller]

Right. So we just need to look up the information for Cumulus Corporate and go that route.

[Bert]

Yeah, go to our website. I think we got message boards up there also. You can just. Yeah.

[Caller]

All right. Thank you.

[Bert]

Thank you. And I hope I'm not sounding callous. I just don't. I feel like my hands are tied, and I've done everything I can. And look, the thought of doing the show without Jeff scares me. Look, we've done this thing together for nine years. The only Burke show I know is with Jeff dollar.

[Caller]

And

[Bert]

it still doesn't make sense to me that I'm looking over there and there may not be a Jeff here after Friday. So I don't know. I don't know what else I can add. What do you know that I don't know that you wanted to add?

[Melissa]

Nothing.

[Bert]

Did we cover it?

[Melissa]

I think.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

No, I think we covered it. I just. It's not even a reality yet. Like, I don't even want to talk about it as a reality yet. It's only still a possibility till Friday.

[Jen]

But I think I want to reiterate to the listener, because I do think that we're in this industry, and we know how things go, and we know that each one of us individually, because, like Bert said, all of us are in are. We individually negotiate our own contracts here at the station. So we are not a group Collective doing this. It's all. We're all individual contractors. And so I think that even, you know, I know the listener was disappointed that just called up. And I think that Bert's effort is to direct people's anger or concern in the appropriate direction, because, like you said, we don't have. We have no say so in this room. I don't have a say so in whether Jeff Dollar is here or not. I want Jeff Dollar to be here. I need somebody to fuss at. I need somebody to be my, you know, counter, you know, negativity, energy in the room. But. But, yeah, I think that a lot. You know, we are not sabotaging. I'm not sabotaging Jeff's job. You know, I want him here. So I think that I just want to reiterate to listeners that that's how this business works, unfortunately, is that each player is an individual player behind the scenes.

[Bert]

And I also want it reiterated that I do have a say. But. And I've said it. But at one point, I don't make the final decision here. I've said and said and said a lot to make sure that Jeff is still here, but at the end of the day, I don't sign Jeff's paycheck. So it's not my decision. It's not anybody in here's decision. Hey, Sarah. Good morning. You're on the Bert show.

[Caller]

Hey. I just, you know, I don't like or not like Jeff, but at the same time, it was a contract where he was offered something, and he chose not to take it. So how much pity can you have for somebody who chose not to take something? I mean, we're in a recession right now, and I'm in corporate America just like thousands of other Americans right now, and we're not getting pay increases, and we can't just walk away from our jobs because we didn't get a 2% increase just for the cost of living or for our performance. So why are we so upset if Jeff didn't choose to take what he was offered?

[Bert]

Well, he might have felt like it just. It was a disrespectful offer.

[Caller]

Well, everyone else in America does. Who's not getting pay increases right now because of the recession?

[Bert]

And everybody has an option. Either you stay with that employer, or you go on and you try to find something somewhere else. And in this case, it hasn't been acceptable to Jeff at this point.

[Caller]

Right, but why is everybody else so upset by Cumulus if, hey, this is what we offered you. If you don't like It. Okay, that was Jeff's decision not to take it. Let's move on. Change is also a good thing. You guys could take this now and embrace it as you have an extra spot. How are we going to fill it? How can we change the dynamics of the show? Do we put an African American in? You guys don't have any minorities on your seats right now. An Asian person and a Hispanic person. I know Joanne is there. But it could also be a positive. You know, again, Jeff chose not to take what he was offered. So, you know, I think a lot

[Melissa]

of people probably feel the way that you do.

[Bert]

And I haven't even heard voice for

[Melissa]

a lot of people out there right now.

[Bert]

And I haven't even wrapped my mind around, at least not fully around filling his spot with anybody at this point. Until this thing is completely 100% off the table. I don't. I can't even start working on who I'm going to replace him with just yet. But I understand what you're saying. The show is. The show is better with Jeff than without Jeff. And my job is to make sure our product.

[Caller]

Can you say that, though? Because you haven't done without him. Can you really say that?

[Melissa]

I think he's a family member, and I'm pretty.

[Bert]

I'm pretty in touch with what's going on in the industry. I mean, everybody in here can be replaced. It could be the Brett show tomorrow morning. I could be gone. Melissa could be gone. Jen could be gone. Wendy can't be gone. Cause she does a split shift.

[Wendy]

Thank God for traffic in the afternoon.

[Melissa]

Well, and I think you should maybe address the whole, like, stunt thing, like the idea that this would be like, some sort of stunt or radio, you know, because a lot of stations will do, like, kind of create, like, wacky, crazy stunts, and that's.

[Jen]

We wouldn't talk at length about it if it was a stunt. Like, we're, you know, and it wouldn't be trying to be consistent where we talk about things.

[Bert]

And it wouldn't be done if you're. If you're gonna pull a stunt like that, it wouldn't be done over a holiday vacation where your listenership is down so much. And honestly, we're really not in a important ratings period, so we're not a

[Melissa]

stunt kind of thing.

[Bert]

And this is just an. This is just not a place that we would jack with you guys. Exactly. 100% authentic. Hey, Lisa. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning. I just want to make a suggestion to you guys. You Guys think that this show would not be better without Jeff. I beg to differ. But if you guys are so hell bent on him being there, why don't you guys take a break and give him part of your salary if he's just that important? I don't think it's that big of a loss.

[Bert]

Well, without getting. Hold on. Without getting too much into it. That's already been done, that's already been offered.

[Caller]

And if he's that cocky to not take it, then you guys need to move on because I really think that.

[Bert]

Wait, wait, wait, let me stop you right there. You're assuming that Jeff is the one that didn't accept that. So don't assume that. All I'm telling you is your suggestion was why don't you guys take some salary or find it somewhere in your own budget and help him out. And I'm saying that has been offered to give him some more.

[Caller]

If he's that important, give him more. You guys have to show how important he really is. I don't think it's going to be a big loss.

[Bert]

When do I think you're right?

[Jen]

How much you got? But I feel so uncomfortable talking, you know, I don't know. I feel so uncomfortable talking because I feel like Jeff's not here to defend himself.

[Melissa]

Exactly.

[Jen]

Corporate's not here to talk about it. I don't, I don't feel comfortable taking listeners because there are people that hate me. There are people that love me. There are people that hate Jen, love Jen, hate Jeff, love Jeff. And I mean, I think it comes across in the way that they're expressing their opinion. Not that their opinion doesn't matter, but. But it's an unresolved issue. And so I think that once there's a resolution, then depending on whatever that resolution is, then we can take. But I just think personal shots at Jeff is unfair today.

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Bert]

Yeah. You guys just. I can't give you all the details. Legally I cannot. And there are still negotiations going on and I'm walking this very fine line because we've always told you guys we would be up front with you on exactly what was going on behind the scenes. So really what I'm trying to do is give you as much information as I can. And if you're listening to the show and you don't hear Jeff, we have to address that.

[Melissa]

Right. But we don't know what the details of the contract negotiations are. We have no idea what it is that they're stuck on or back and forth on. I mean, other than the general description that Bert gave you. You can't fill in the blanks on what you think it is because we

[Jen]

don't know because that's why we're reiterating. We're individual con. You know, there's individual contracts in here. I have no idea what the conversations are between them.

[Bert]

It really comes down. Look, this is a lot like any company. They it's their job to try to keep costs down. And you as an employee are. It's your job to try to provide as much money as you can for yourself and your family. And these two just aren't agreeing right now on what that number is. Hey, Nicole, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning, guys.

[Wendy]

Good morning.

[Caller]

Hey, I just wanted to say that you guys are awesome. And I don't like that your callers are calling and threatening to quit the show because one of you aren't there. Because you're all equally important and awesome.

[Wendy]

Thank you.

[Caller]

And I will continue listening to you forever with or without Jeff, even though he is awesome. To the show. Now, if Melissa leaves, however, I'm gonna

[Bluff]

have to quit the bird show. What's going on, everyone? It's bluff here. And you know what's more American than America's 250th birthday? Supporting American owned companies like Spinquest, America's number one social casino with over a thousand games like live dealer, blackjack and craps. They're offering new users a $30 coin package for just $10. Go to spinquest.com and sign up today.

[Bert]

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[News Reporter]

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[Bert]

Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Birch Show. All right, so these were our predictions going into 2009. The one was, will Burt have a Wii in the house? And you remember my wife Stacy was like, no video games in this house. We are not going to be a family that has video games. Our son's not going to be raised on video games. Well, we got one and we love it. So here are our predictions for that. Will Burt's Wii still be in his house? Still be in his house. The Wii game that my wife bought us for Christmas, Even though for 14 years she said we'll never have video games in this house.

[Bluff]

Never.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Melissa]

Yes. And she'll be playing it more than you.

[Bert]

Yes. But you won't be. That's a different category.

[Wendy]

I'm gonna say yes, and you're gonna

[Bert]

have a wee two A we two. What is that?

[Wendy]

I don't know if one's gonna come out again. No, it's updated.

[Bert]

There's another prediction right there.

[Jen]

Are you drunk, Wendy? I don't know.

[Bert]

So two predictions from Wendy there. That I would have the Wii and that a new Wii would come out.

[Wendy]

I don't know where I was at that day.

[Bert]

We still have the Wii in the house. She's not playing it as much as I do, but we're not playing it nearly as much as I thought we would. Yeah, but it's there.

[Melissa]

It's there.

[Wendy]

That's good.

[Bert]

All right. The next one was about Big Papa. Will Big Papa be revealed? Will Big Papa from Real Housewives be revealed? No.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Jen]

I'm gonna say yes.

[Bert]

So is it gonna be confirmed by her on the new episode? I think that's probably the question. Will it be confirmed by her or him that he is Big Pop?

[Jen]

I'm gonna still say yes.

[Melissa]

I'm gonna still say yes.

[Bert]

Yes. Yes.

[Wendy]

I say yes.

[Bert]

I say no. That's a tricky question because she has never confirmed it, but we all know it to be that Lena Jara guy, right? So.

[Jen]

So I think that's a wash.

[Bert]

It's a wash.

[Melissa]

But they never confirmed it.

[Bert]

They never did confirm it, so it's really not. Whoever said that it wouldn't be confirmed? It wasn't.

[Melissa]

So you and Jeff were right and the rest of us were wrong.

[Wendy]

Dang it.

[Bert]

I like when that happens too.

[Melissa]

Too much information. Oh, sorry. Is too far mean to confirm that.

[Wendy]

Thanks.

[Melissa]

Well, that's the only occasion Celebrity deaths.

[Bert]

Which celebrity do you think will die in 2009?

[Wendy]

Wendy.

[Melissa]

God.

[Bert]

I'll go with Amy Winehouse.

[Jen]

I remember Gary Busey.

[Bert]

Busey.

[Wendy]

I'm gonna say a sad one. Patrick Swayze.

[Melissa]

Dog is sad.

[Bert]

Yeah, I'm gonna say that, too. Yeah.

[Bluff]

I'm gonna go with Patrick Swayze also.

[Bert]

That was a really good one. Yeah. Patrick Swayze.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Jen Gerard Butler.

[Bert]

Oh, who's the woman who was on Dance with the Stars?

[Melissa]

I'll take her.

[Bert]

Give me her.

[Jen]

Cloris Leishman's still alive. He's still around, Wendy.

[Bert]

The only one that got it right.

[Wendy]

I know, I know. Sad, though. I liked him.

[Bert]

Hey, congratulations, Patrick Suez, you won. That's great. Will Dick Clark ring in 2010? Because he was in bad shape.

[Melissa]

You remember last year?

[Bert]

Did he even do the show last year?

[Jen]

I didn't watch it last year. He came on for the. For, like, at midnight where Ryan Seacrest did most of the.

[Melissa]

But he did a lot this year.

[Bert]

Yeah, he was part of it this year, right? Yeah. Will Dick Clark ring in 2010?

[Melissa]

I'm gonna say Ryan Seacrest will host it alone next year.

[Bert]

You're saying no?

[Bluff]

No, I'm saying no.

[Jen]

Mm. Mm.

[Bert]

No, no, no. I think we're gonna lose dick this year.

[Jen]

We were all wrong.

[Bert]

I just don't like that. I just don't like that.

[Jen]

Save that somewhat.

[Bert]

We're gonna lose dick this year is what I said. That was my prediction.

[Wendy]

That be true, but not dick.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Wendy]

Your prediction may come true.

[Bert]

As far as I know, we did not lose dick.

[Jen]

Just kidding.

[Bert]

Dick was around, and he did the show.

[Melissa]

Y.

[Bluff]

Okay.

[Wendy]

Wow.

[Bert]

Jen and smoking. Will Jen have quit smoking? No.

[Melissa]

I'm gonna go with yes.

[Bert]

I'm going with yes, then no.

[Melissa]

No. Hell no. Let's just go. Wendy and Melissa and Jeff being correct.

[Bert]

Well, you did quit and then starting to smoke. She's a smoker, so yes. Jenna's still smoking.

[Melissa]

Justin not as much, though. Does that count?

[Jen]

No.

[Bert]

Like being kind of pregnant and Jessica married.

[Jen]

What?

[Melissa]

Huh?

[Bert]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel married?

[Melissa]

Maybe.

[Bert]

Will Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel get married?

[Melissa]

No. I think he's gonna bail on her right before the wedding.

[Bert]

Really?

[Jen]

Yeah. No.

[Wendy]

I say yes.

[Bert]

Not only will they not be married. Yeah. But there's gonna be some sort of Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears collaboration, either romantically or musically.

[Wendy]

Booyah.

[Bluff]

Negative.

[Melissa]

I think so.

[Bert]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel will be engaged but not married. They love each other. I miss him.

[Melissa]

You're wrong.

[Bert]

Who was right and who was wrong there?

[Wendy]

I was wrong.

[Bert]

I think I said that they would be engaged.

[Melissa]

Yeah, you said they'd be engaged, so you're wrong. I said they would not. Right.

[Jen]

You know I said they wouldn't.

[Bert]

Well, Katie Jo and Melissa be married. Will Melissa and Katie Jo be married by the end of 2009? You gonna be married this year?

[Jen]

No.

[Wendy]

I was gonna say yes.

[Melissa]

I'm gonna say no because Melissa's always said if it wasn't legal, then she wouldn't want to do it.

[Bluff]

I'm gonna say yes, but both to men.

[Bert]

I'll say no. Also no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jen]

Katie Jo and I are not married.

[Bert]

Okay. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are gonna be together. We attacked the really important issues. This one from the celebrity related category. Lindsay and Samantha Ronson together or no. Nope. Jeff. No.

[Jen]

No.

[Wendy]

Yes.

[Bert]

No way.

[Wendy]

Yes way.

[Bert]

No way.

[Melissa]

Sorry.

[Caller]

Wendy.

[Jen]

Wendy, always the optimist. Yes, they're gonna be together.

[Wendy]

Yes, they're gonna be engaged.

[Jen]

Love, love, love.

[Bert]

No, no, no.

[Wendy]

Bummer. She's trying.

[Bert]

Terrorist attack in 2009. Would there be one. Wow. Some of these are pretty brutal, man. Will there be a terrorist attack on the U.S. no.

[Melissa]

I'm gonna go.

[Jen]

No, I'm gonna say no.

[Bert]

No, I'm gonna say yes.

[Wendy]

There was one.

[Bert]

There was.

[Melissa]

There was an attempt.

[Bert]

Mm. Just a couple weeks ago.

[Jen]

So congratulations.

[Bert]

Yeah, right.

[Wendy]

Does that count?

[Melissa]

Was an attempt count?

[Wendy]

No, I don't think it does. Nope.

[Caller]

I want.

[Melissa]

Wendy wants to see.

[Bert]

I'll go with you guys on this. All right, the last one here was predicting the gender of Tracy's baby. Okay, Producer Tracy is pregnant right now. So the prediction of the gender of Tracy's baby, will it be a boy or a girl? Boy.

[Melissa]

I'm going girl.

[Caller]

Girl.

[Wendy]

Boy.

[Bert]

I got girl and it was girl.

[Jen]

Poor Wendy.

[Wendy]

I tried really hard. I can't predict the future.

[Bert]

I will predict you'll do at least a little bit better this year than you did last year. This is the Bird show.

[Bluff]

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[Bert]

[e-mail] Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The first show. I gotta run this news piece for you guys here real quickly. If you are a new virtual listener and you weren't listening. In April, the members of the Birch show, outside of myself, had a great idea for April Fools. I thought it was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. And I wanted to prove a point to them. And their idea was on April Fool's to fake pictures of me getting a tattoo on my seven year old. Hayden.

[Melissa]

He was then six, right?

[Bert]

He was then six at that point.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And put them up on the Internet and see if we can get a reaction out of everybody, you guys. And I said straight up to them. I'm like, dudes, I've hated. I hate April Fool's jokes. I hate them every year. We don't do them on our listeners. And this one is so over the top and ridiculous that anybody that listens to our show knows that I'm not capable of having my 6 year old get tattooed. It'll never work. So they talked me into it and mostly because I wanted to prove a point that, look, if we don't get any reaction at all, then you guys stop hounding me to do April Fool's jokes and we'll Never do one. And okay, that's the agreement.

[Melissa]

Nobody. Not one person is gonna believe that I tattooed my kid. Not one. You were like, no way. Nobody's gonna believe it. And we're like, yeah, somebody will buy it. Come on, It'll be funny. Ha ha, April fools. You're like, no, nobody's gonna believe it. And I'm only gonna do this to prove to you guys nobody will believe it.

[Bert]

So I take Hayden on up to a psycho tattoo on Roswell Road, and we fake a whole bunch of pictures. Like, the tattooist goes up there, he takes the tattoo gun and gets close to Hayden, but he's obviously the needle never hit his skin.

[Melissa]

And then Hayden loves being a little actor too. So he was getting into the role.

[Bert]

Yeah, man. I mean, he's, like, tearing up. It's like he sprayed himself with, like, my little mace or something. And he's got, like, tears rolling down his eyes. And the makeup artist that did the tattoo really did a great job on it.

[Melissa]

Just pretending, pretending, you know, the paint on his arm. And then didn't you say at one point that you really thought Hayden was upset?

[Bert]

Yeah, I thought he was cruel.

[Melissa]

Like, buddy, we're just kidding. And he looks at you. He goes, dad, I'm acting.

[Bert]

He just comes out of character, right?

[Melissa]

Like, duh.

[Bert]

But the pictures did come out really, really well, and I post them on Facebook, and we never mention anything about it on the air. And I think we're not gonna get any calls. And sure enough, man, somebody calls D fax on me. Somebody bought it. I mean, full on bought it. And defax shows up to my house. And this is no joke. They literally show up to the house, and they want to see Hayden not once, but if you guys remember. Twice.

[Melissa]

That's right.

[Bert]

So I'm not sure we're ever doing an April Fool's Day joke again, but I guess it did work.

[Melissa]

It worked, but it got way too serious.

[Bert]

And the point was, it was so ridiculous that nobody. Nobody would tattoo their six year old or their child. Then Melissa Carter has a story yesterday that a couple did this to a couple of their kids.

[Wendy]

What?

[Bert]

I didn't realize yesterday this was a Georgia couple.

[Melissa]

No way.

[Bert]

Three kids here in Georgia. And here's the story. Listen to this.

[Melissa]

I don't understand why this has gotten blowed up so big.

[Bert]

Blowed up.

[Melissa]

You know, I love my children. We'd never do anything to harm our kids.

[News Reporter]

Joja Marsh is proud of the tattoos that her boyfriend put on her arms and legs.

[Melissa]

These weren't done With a home I gun.

[News Reporter]

But Chattooga county sheriff John Everett says Marsh went too far by tattooing her and her boyfriend's children. A 10 year old, two 11 year olds, a 12 year old and a 15 and 17 year old.

[Bert]

We've never seen anything, never heard of anything like this in surrounding counties or anywhere.

[News Reporter]

Sheriff Everett says the children were tattooed with a black cross on their hand with a homemade tattoo gun.

[Bert]

This is the device that was used. Plug it into a normal outlet. This is the ink pen barrel with the guitar string inside it.

[News Reporter]

The device is made with a power supply, an electric motor, wiring, an ink pen and a sharpened piece of guitar string used as a needle. A vial of black ink was used for coloring. The sheriff says the same needle was used on all six children by Jacob Edward Bartels.

[Melissa]

We have kids from separate marriages. Okay. So I mean, I have four and

[Wendy]

then he has three, but they're all ours.

[Melissa]

You know, it's like anyway. So I mean they wanted one so we were like, okay. It was just so it's a little bitty cross right here. Okay.

[News Reporter]

The sheriff learned about the tattoos from the mother of Bartel's children.

[Bert]

The mother picked the two children up and noticed the mark on their hand and she brought it to our investigators attention. Then we went and did the investigation found there were six other children.

[News Reporter]

Marsh and Bartel are charged with illegal tattooing, cruelty to children and reckless conduct.

[Melissa]

I don't think we did anything wrong. The kids don't think we did anything wrong. This is crazy. This has blowed up so bad.

[Wendy]

Wow.

[Melissa]

You've got to be kidding me.

[Bert]

That is a real story. In fact, I think that's from cnn.

[Wendy]

And this is what we're getting national attention for. Georgia is on the map for tattooing children.

[Bert]

As I was watching it, I'm like, this must be from the Onion or something like this. This can't be a real story.

[Melissa]

It's just such ignorance.

[Bert]

They had them all, all of them tattooed.

[Melissa]

Ignorance. This is blowed up so bad.

[Bluff]

Get it?

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Bluff]

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[Bert]

E S t Com. Spinquest is a free to play social

[News Reporter]

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[Bert]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.