Full Show PT 3: Monday, June 8 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3 Recap

Episode Date: June 8, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen, plus callers
Episode Focus: Morning show banter with a blend of real-life listener dilemmas, workplace drama, lighthearted group discussions, and personal stories.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show covers a spectrum of relationship challenges and personal predicaments, from navigating social events post-divorce, to workplace competition for a raise, to quirky rituals around doctor's visits, and a heartfelt segment about family ties and U.S. citizenship worries. True to the show’s spirit, the team approaches each segment with warmth, wit, and candid conversation, encouraging listeners to call in, weigh in, and laugh along.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Facing Your Ex at a Mutual Friend’s Party

[01:02 – 11:43]
Guest: Jen (Caller/Guest, regular cast member)
Main Discussion Points:

• Jen’s anxiety about attending a close friend’s birthday party where her ex-husband will also be present (first encounter in ~2 years).
• The group explores etiquette: Should Jen ask if her ex is attending? Should she bring a date to “save face”? Is it unfair to put pressure on the hosts by making it their problem?
• Consensus among hosts: Jen should attend, avoid stressing the hosts, possibly bring an exit strategy if needed, and focus on enjoying herself.
• Callers offer advice, emphasizing confidence, composure, and keeping interactions minimal but respectful.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen: “I just have to sort of carry myself the way that I know how and not stress out the other friends in our life.” (05:49)
• Caller Sally: "Just be yourself. Be there for your friend. Just hold your head up high. Don’t even think about if he’s in the room…" (06:22)
• Bert: “Even if this was just a boyfriend that you went out with for a while, you'd feel a certain amount of anxiety. This was your husband that you spent a long time with… I think if you go in there with the expectation of not being nervous, you’re destined to fail.” (06:44)

Memorable Moment:
Jokes about hiring a model as a date to the party and “exit strategies” before the third glass of wine.

Timestamps:

• [01:02] Jen introduces her dilemma
• [03:26] "What will you say if you run into him?"
• [06:22] Advice call-in from Sally
• [07:33] The group strategizes about wine consumption and exit plans

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2. Workplace Drama: The Great Raise-Off

[12:49 – 28:24]
Storyline: Sally and a coworker attempt to negotiate raises by threatening to leave together, but their boss instead pits them against each other—listeners get to vote who’s more deserving.

Main Discussion Points:

• Sally’s pitch centers on her punctuality, lack of absences, and lack of children (implying this makes her more focused).
• She criticizes her rival for taking time out for her children’s needs, sparking intense backlash from listener moms.
• Callers express outrage at Sally’s stance, noting that having kids should not count against someone’s professionalism.
• The hosts point out that Sally spends more time disparaging her coworker than promoting her own merits.

Notable Quotes:

• Sally: “I’ve never been late. I have never had a raise in two years, nor have I asked for a raise in two years… I don’t have kids, unlike my other co worker who has kids, which I think makes me a better employee…” (16:26)
• Caller Tabitha: “Her comment on having kids… That is just wrong. She lost my vote, and I hope every mother out there too.” (22:23)
• Caller Tracy: "Not only should that heifer not get the raise, she should get fired… you have the audacity to insult mothers." (24:37)
• Bert: “You’ve spent more time talking about other employees than you have about yourself. I still have no idea if you deserve a raise or not.” (23:11)

Memorable Moment:
A string of passionate calls from working mothers, with one saying, “Not only should that heifer not get the raise, she should get fired.” (24:37)

Timestamps:

• [13:46] Boss's "competition" twist
• [16:26] Sally’s self-advocacy turns critical
• [22:23 – 26:18] Callers react, mostly negatively

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3. Gyno Appointment Etiquette – The Great Underwear Debate

[29:27 – 41:27]
Listener Email: A woman wonders if she’s alone in folding her panties and prepping her appearance for annual gyno visits.

Main Discussion Points:

• Group consensus: It’s common to fold and hide underwear and to “prep” body hair/socks before a gynecological exam—akin to flossing before a dentist visit.
• Some confess to coordinating their bra and panties or wearing nicer clothes; others see it as unnecessary.
• Callers weigh in with their own rituals and insecurities—ranging from shaving to choosing fun socks.
• A medical professional supports patients who make the effort, while others express concern about being judged for grooming choices.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert: “He’s your gynecologist… He’s about to check out your—” (30:05)
• Jen: “No, the folding up of the panties is just like courtesy.” (30:21)
• Caller Rebecca, pediatrician: “It is refreshing to see people who do take care of themselves… when people do take care and shave and they look good and shave their legs, it’s nice. We appreciate it.” (37:54)
• Caller Jessica: “The doctor kind of treated me like I might be… loose, like a loose teenage girl… I was all hairless.” (38:45)
• Jen: “That’s why I would never be able to do that permanent hair removal of the whole thing. Because… you should be a woman and you should sort of look like a woman when you’re having a baby.” (40:28)

Memorable Moments:

• Comparing underwear-folding to polite flossing.

Timestamps:

• [29:27] Listener email introduction
• [30:21] “Folding up the panties is just courtesy”
• [37:54] Medical insight from a pediatrician
• [38:45] “Trimmed = judged loose” story

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4. Citizenship Concerns: Jen’s Grandmother’s Crisis

[42:29 – 53:21]
Story: Jen’s British-born grandmother is worried about her ability to renew her driver’s license due to lacking U.S. citizenship proof—despite having lived in the U.S. for 72 years.

Main Discussion Points:

• Jen’s weekly email from her 82-year-old grandmother reveals bureaucratic hurdles: recent laws require proof of citizenship to renew her license, which she can't provide.
• The group discusses the nuances of citizenship, social security, permanent residency, and the impact of new homeland security regulations.
• Call-ins from listeners with immigration knowledge provide advice: possible solutions include finding a Social Security number, a green card, or consulting an immigration attorney.
• Jen expresses concern not only about her grandmother’s independence, but the possibility of deportation.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen: “Take her car away and you take away her independence.” (46:29)
• Co-host 2: “Are you automatically considered a citizen if you’ve been here for that long of a time? No.” (47:03)
• Caller Rebecca (former immigration paralegal): “Just because your grandmother has [a Social Security number] doesn’t necessarily mean she has any rights per se. You have to get her something to show she has her claim to be here.” (50:29)
• Bert: “She should call an immigration lawyer immediately.” (51:12)

Timestamps:

• [42:29] Jen reads her grandmother’s email
• [46:29] Discussion on independence and aging
• [47:18] Citizenship nuance
• [50:29] Immigration expert advice

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Overall Notable Moments

• Candid Relationship Advice: The crew’s willingness to share their own “awkward ex” stories and listeners’ supportive advice highlight the depth and relatability of the show.
• Workplace Realism: Intense audience engagement around working parents and fairness in the workplace. Sally’s negative reaction is a major talking point.
• Vulnerability & Humor: Discussions about underwear and awkward medical appointments make for hilariously open radio.
• Generational and Legal Issues: Jen’s real worry about her grandmother’s citizenship reveals unexpectedly serious undertones and prompts heartfelt group support and community resource sharing.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Social events post-divorce are tough—confidence and a low-key approach help.
• Workplace loyalty isn’t just about punctuality—it’s about respect for others’ circumstances, too.
• Turns out, everyone has weird rituals for the doctor’s office—you’re not alone (and sometimes doctors actually notice!).
• Bureaucratic issues can affect anyone—even your grandma. Seek legal help early.

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Final Thoughts

This episode perfectly balances The Bert Show’s signature humor with genuine, practical advice for real-life woes. Whether you’re dealing with an awkward run-in, office competition, or worrying about your grandma’s citizenship, you’ll find empathy, laughter, and a sense of community in today’s show.

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Transcript

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

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[Bert (Main Host)]

Visit borhears.com you're on the Burt Show.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

So I've got an interesting predicament in my life right now and that is that my ex husband and I have been invited to the same birthday party. And I don't know quite. There's more developments yesterday, but I'm not sure exactly quite how I'm gonna handle it. So I know a lot of listeners have been through divorces and it's early in the morning to get the phones ringing, but maybe they could help me out with this.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You've been divorced how long?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

A year and a half, officially.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

And you've seen him the last time?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

A year, probably close to two years ago.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Officially.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Do the people that even unofficially see him?

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

She has not been in the same room as him in almost 24 months. Almost.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I think it's been almost two years. I don't remember exactly.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

And I'm guessing that time probably wasn't at a party.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

No, not at a social function.

[Bert (Main Host)]

How did you find out that you guys are gonna be at the same party?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

One of my friends tipped me off to she. Cause I said, I said, oh, I'm really looking forward to this birthday party. And she said, well, you know who else has been invited and kind of just like, kind of gave me that look and then moved on. And I was like, okay, I know, exactly, because it's mutual friends of ours, whatever. And so. So the debate for me is, you know, a. You know, the first debate is a, do you go? And I'm like, yes, this is one of my closest friends. Yes, I'm gonna go. And then the second debate is, well, do I find out for sure if he's gonna go? But then I've been on the other side of that with other couples that I know that have been. And you put undue pressure on the hosts of the party if you are the one stressing them out, like, making the phone call. Well, if he's gonna come, then I'm not gonna. You know, it's not their problem. Right. It's my issue to deal with. And so I don't wanna be the one that makes that phone call or whatever. So I've just decided I'm going. And I'm not gonna be the friend who calls to ask the question, does

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

the host couple even know they invited both of you guys?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yes.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

So they do realize it.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yes.

[Bert (Main Host)]

The thing with Jen and Ryan's group is that the thing that was so unique and special about it is it really was a very big social group together. So there's been fallout after the breakup. There's just so many people that have been involved. Frankly, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Oh, really?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Because you have so many mutual friends, and Atlanta really is. I know this sounds like a cliche, but the smallest big city I have ever been in. Like, you just run into people all the time.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

We have not.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I am really surprised by that.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Have you had thoughts in your head, like, what happens if I run into him? What am I gonna say? What am I gonna do?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Mm. Exactly. I've been sort of, like, rehearsing how that's gonna go.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

And what happens if you do?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't know. I mean, I just have to. I just have to sort of, like, continue going about my life, like. And this is somebody that's a really close friend. I don't know necessarily if we're both there, if I plan to stay a super long time, but I'm not going to be the party that stresses out the host couple. That's been the one thing in my mind where I'm like, I' to be that person. And then a couple of my friends yesterday, here's the other development. Were asking, are you going to be bringing a date oh, oh. Because it's a couple Ish party and a couple of two separate friends have asked. So I'm like, so what does that mean? Right? And then I'm like, so am I the one who, like, looks sort of like, well, first of all, I wouldn't put a date in that situation.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Right.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That's not fair to whoever my date would be. That's not fair.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Right.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

A number one.

[Bert (Main Host)]

We would soon find out if you were going to bring a date. We would soon find out who you think the best looking of all the people.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

It might not be anybody she's seeing right now.

[Caller or Guest 2]

She may hire a model.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I would call up that modeling agency.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Who's that dude?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Santa boy that you bring him along.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I'll pay a hundred bucks, 100 bucks for that situation.

[Bert (Main Host)]

And my.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Are you.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Come on.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Are you more nervous about your reaction or your ex's reaction to being in the same room? Are you more stressed out about what you're going to say or how he's going to react?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I guess I just know it's going. Is if. If it happens, if we're in the same room. And whenever that happens, whether that's this coming weekend or not, it's going to be an awkward situation. At one point, I was going to. This is maybe a month ago. I was going to a friend's house who lives nearby there. And I needed to stop to bring, like, another part of the dinner that we were making. So I ran into that grocery store, and it was my old grocery store. And I started panicking, walking through the aisles of publix, like, come around the corner. Like, I didn't even think about it. I was just like, in a hurry, like, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. Like on the phone, whatever. But then I like, got off the phone was inside the publix. I was like, this is my old publix.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Like, what happens if I see them?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Like, how is that gonna go down? Like, I don't know how it's gonna go down. I can anticipate it, I can think about it, I can stress about it, But I just have to sort of carry myself the way that I know how and not stress out the other friends in our life.

[Bert (Main Host)]

And a lot of wine easier to find.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That's probably a worse situation. If I had a lot of wine,

[Bert (Main Host)]

it's almost easier to spontaneously to run into them than it is this situation.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

To plan on it and think about it.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Yeah. Cause the first one is gonna be the most difficult, most awkward full week

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

to think about it, you know?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Desiree.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Hey.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Good morning.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning. I love you guys. Hey, listen, my sister just went through a divorce, and the best advice I can give you is just, you know, totally be yourself. Be there for your friend. Just hold your head up high. Don't let him, like, don't even think about if he's in the room or not. And just have fun. Go for it, and don't worry about it. It'll be okay.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Thank you.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Easier said than done, but, I mean, you can't help but feel anxiety about it.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Definitely.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Even if this was just a boyfriend that you went out with for a while, you'd feel a certain amount of anxiety. This was your husband that you spent a long time with. I mean, so I think if you go in there with the expectation of not being nervous, I think you're gonna. You're destined to fail. You have to be nervous about this. I'm nervous for you for the night.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

And I don't know exactly what's going to happen. You know, I don't know for sure if we're both going to be there or not, but I am not going to be the one that's. That, like, that's like my. One thing I know is I'm not going to be the one that stresses out the host with this. I'm just going to go and be myself and bring some wine and maybe a model.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Just definitely a model.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Well, don't even say that, because then if it does happen and you do bring a boyfriend who's really good looking, everybody's going to go. He's not even really a boy.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

He's just hired.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I think an early exit strategy is a good idea. And I think that exit strategy should be before you get to, like, the third glass of wine.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Mm.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Like.

[Bert (Main Host)]

And I would suggest that for him, too, like, because alcohol can change everything. You know what I'm saying?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I do.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You know, so I say forget about the booze for the first couple hours and get out quick.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

That'll be a comfortable conversation. Jen says, all right, look, hey, here's the deal, Ryan. Before we each, at our third glass of wine, we're both going to leave. I'm sure he's going to be totally cooperative.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Let's rock, paper, scissors and see who goes first. But somebody's got to go.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

No, I'm totally fine to go first.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Tina. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning. I just wanted to tell Jen I went through the nastiest divorce ever, and my strategy is always. Because we have children together. So we have to communicate. Go in.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't know.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yeah, it's rough. Go in. Be yourself. Be confident. Your friends, you know, it's a party, so you don't have to talk to them or anything. Just be there and ignore him and be yourself and be there for your friends.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That though. To ignore him. And it's.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

And it's still tough because you see

[Caller or Guest 2]

him, you can acknowledge him and say hi, but you don't have to carry on a conversation with him. I mean, you don't owe him anything. You've gone on with your life, he's going on with his life. And, you know, thank goodness there are no children involved. So you can kind of just go and be there for your friend and your other friends are going to be there.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But I do.

[Caller or Guest 2]

And if you would have taken a date to any other party, you can take a date.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But I do think you say you don't owe him anything, but there has to be an acknowledgment of the two decades or decade and a half of your life. So there is going to have to be small talk like you. Some sort of hello, you do owe him or not owe him. That's the wrong word because it makes me feel obligated. But I think out of respect of the time you were together, you owe yourself and him three minutes of making

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

me want to throw up. Like just talking.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I don't even think get a bucket.

[Bert (Main Host)]

It doesn't accomplish anything at all if you guys are just in the same room together. I don't think the baby step is so significant that it means anything. Like, you have to have some kind of interaction with him in order to get past his very first awkward step.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

What am I trying to accomplish, though,

[Bert (Main Host)]

just to break the. That just. I think the bar is set so low. It's just. It could either. It could even just be a high, a passing high. But there has to be something verbal between the two of you guys to get past the first awkward stage.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

I don't know.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't think there has to be so either really like it. I mean, I don't. I don't have expectations on what the outcome is going to be because that's futile. Like, I don't know what that's going to be. I just know how I need to prepare to handle myself. Like, I can't predict the outcome of anything in life. Like, I can't predict the outcome of what's gonna happen after I walk out of the studio today. So have to. It sounds. That doesn't sound right to me.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

No, I don't know why.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Here's my thought on it is that if you're just in the same room together, then you'll have the same awkwardness the next time you guys are in the room together if there's no interaction at all.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But what if there's.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Okay, how can you two live in the same city and have this many friends in common and not be there a next time?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

It's been that way for two years.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

If it happens once every two years and you can get away with a nod across the room and you're comfortable with that, I don't think you're out. I don't think you have to do anything. You know what I mean?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Krista.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Good Morning.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Hey, guys. Love the show. Jen, you better look fabulous, honey. You better look drop dead gorgeous. You know what I'm saying?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

And you begin.

[Caller or Guest 2]

I mean, you be the confident gin that you've always been. And I agree with Burton. Just go say, hey, how you doing? What's going on? Everything's cool, and then leave. I mean, I mean, not leave the party, because if it's a great party, why should you have to exit first? You could be, you know, go, go, knock it out. This would be the first round. And, and that's true, you know, you won't have any awkwardness the next time this happens, and it'll be a good hurdle. But you, if you're, if you're looking drop dead gorgeous.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Oh, honey, please.

[Caller or Guest 2]

You will be so confident, you won't care who's in the room.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Listen, it's the vert show.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's, no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com Bert Borhers.com bird weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states, but Go VI is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhearst.com this is the Birch Show.

[Bert (Main Host)]

All right, so if you haven't been listening to this whole storyline, it started a couple of days ago. We'll do this quickly. Sally called us up and she told us that she was going to walk into the boss's office, you know, shoulder to shoulder with a co worker, and they were going to demand a raise together. And their thought was, look, if we go in there and we tell him, look, you get give us both a raise or we're both leaving, he'll freak out. I mean, it's a big part of the office, and he's gonna give us both the raise, do anything to keep us. So she does that, and the boss says, well, that's a pretty interesting offer right there. Except I'll tell you what, one of you gets the raise. I just don't have money for both of you guys, so you're in competition for it. So she comes on the air to tell us that, and the boss calls in and he makes this suggestion.

[Caller or Guest 2]

She seemed like she was having so much fun with this. I thought I would try to appeal to Atlanta. My idea was that both of the girls would appeal to your listeners on the radio and then have your listeners decide who gets the raves.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Okay. We're totally game for that. Sure. So today we will talk to Sally, who will make the pitch for her job. And then tomorrow, we will get the co worker that Sally now dislikes so much because she feels like she sold Sally out. And then on Monday, we'll have a decision made on who gets the raise. So we're putting it in your hands. Here's Sally. Good morning, Sally.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Hi. Good morning.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Good morning. How are you?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I'm good. I'm good. I'm all ready.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You're ready to go with this?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yes.

[Bert (Main Host)]

The stakes are high here now. I mean, before when you called us up, you were just sort of telling us about your plan, but now your job's on the line.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah, yeah, my job's on the line. And I think it's been an Interesting process because it makes me more aware of what kind of an employee I am.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

And now you not only need to impress your boss, but you've got to impress all of our listeners, too. So you have a big job ahead of you.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

It's an easy audience.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah, but I don't think it's going to be that hard.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Really?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

No, I mean, it's pretty simple, and I laid it out, and I know I can't do my PowerPoint presentation in front of, you know, you right there. So I've laid it out really nice, and I've outlined it.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I think what puts you at a disadvantage here, and I said this the other day, too, is that people know you already, so they've already formed an opinion if they like you or not. And the other girl is sort of at an advantage because we're not gonna know anything about her except her pitch. So you know what I'm saying?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Right.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So when they make their decision, it. Yours has a. It's just a little bit more at stake.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Hopefully, it'll be your. The smarter audience that is judging.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Well, see, then you just had our audience judge you.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Just there.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Yeah.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Warming everybody up to you. Really?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

No, but if the people that are listening are smart and know a good, strong work ethic when they hear it, then it will work out just fine and I have nothing to worry about. If it's people like that girl, that crazy lunatic, then, yeah, then I'll definitely have a problem.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Oh, you mean Vale, the girl who's called in to comment?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Sweet pea.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bert (Main Host)]

If I was your agent, I would say less commentary and just get right to your pitch.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You know what? She doesn't need Vale Val on our side because she's confident in her abilities. And that's when it all comes down to it. That's what matters. So I say talk all the crap you want.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I mean, wasn't Jess confident in his ability?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yes.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Right, right.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I remember I spent a whole day going, screw Val, Sweet pea.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Well, let's hear what you have. I mean, the floor is yours now, so make your pitch, and this is the only chance you get at it, so go for it.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Okay.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

In the two years that I've worked there, I've never been late. I have never had a raise in two years, nor have I asked for a raise in two years. Let's see. And I'm never sick more than two days in a row in two years.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Okay?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

So I've only needed to call in, like, you know, if I'm really under the weather. Or whatever, just once. And then I have testimonials from three people that I work with directly who will write or go and talk to my boss, how I've helped make their life easier and I've helped them make money for the company, directly make money for the company because that's not part of my job and I don't want to give too much away and I don't have kids, unlike my other co worker who has kids because. Which I think makes me a better employee because I don't have to be making personal phone calls once an hour to go check up on my kids. She's always doing that. She's always just like having to make a quick call and I think that makes her, I don't know, a little less of an employee because she's always having. She basically has one foot out the door because she has kids. Her focus isn't really on work, clearly.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Do you think she has missed days when she's been perfectly healthy but she's had a child under the weather?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

That's ridiculous.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Keep going.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

So, I mean, I think I'm a more tightly focused employee and I think I deserve the race.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Go back to this parent who's in your workplace. So do you think there's times where she's been late to work because her kids had to go to the dentist or something?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Oh, I mean clearly. And she's always, she's running in late and you know, her kids might have forgotten lunch or she'll run by the school or something like that or sometimes she has to leave early because they'll have a recital and I don't think it's, I don't think it's fair. Right. And where I'm always, I'm there on time. I've never been late and I stay until I have to. And like I said, I'm not just chit chatting on the phone and my kids, you know, every hour.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So. Good. Good mom.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I'm doing my job.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Good mom actually works against her in this situation, is what you think?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

No, I'm not looking. I'm just telling you how I'm a good employee and I'm not spending time

[Caller or Guest 2]

on the, on the phone call.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I'm not going to make, you know, a huge comment about a mom.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I think it's too late for that.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

You said that you stay at the office until you have to. Do you ever go above and beyond and stay late?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I mean, if I'm asked, I guess, you know, I can't recall anything like that at the moment, but I would.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Have you ever gotten like a personal call at work or made a personal call at work?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Sure, yeah. Or, you know, I'll shoot off a quick personal text, but I don't, you know, I won't spend, you know, 10 minutes on the phone each time my kid calls. She's got. I think she has two kids.

[Bert (Main Host)]

That's the thing that really. You think it feels like that sets you apart from her, is that you are. I think your words were tightly focused, and she can't be because she has two kids. That's. That's really working in your favor. You think?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I'm. I'm. Of course. Because my. The focus when I'm at my job is my job. It's not a million other things like ballet recitals or soccer games or missed lunches or, you know, you know, she. It's not as important to her, I guess.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Sally, are you. Are you ever on any of the social networking sites during work? Are you ever on Facebook or Twitter or MySpace or anything like that?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah, once in a while. I'll pop on, but I won't. I won't spend a lot of time.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

How much time a day would you average that you spend on those Sites? Social networking?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

20 minutes, maybe. Over the course of the day. Just kind of changing my update.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Updating your status.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Okay.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

This bitch trying to take my raise.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

And you think that that's probably a lot less time than your co worker spends maybe taking a phone call from her kid.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah. Or people that go outside and have to smoke.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Does she do that?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

She doesn't, but some of the other employees do that.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah.

[Bert (Main Host)]

She smokes with her kids outside.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Perfect.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You know what? I'm with her on the smoking thing,

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

to be honest, all these people, they think it's okay for them to leave whatever they're doing at that moment and walk outside, and they keep taking these five, ten minute smoke breaks all throughout the day. And I don't do that. I don't get up from my desk and make a load of personal phone calls. I'm there. I'm way more. You're tightly focused and tightly focused. Hey, I think I'm a more fully realized employee.

[Bert (Main Host)]

A more fully real. Fully what?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Realized employee.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Realized. What does that mean exactly?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Go ahead. Hold on. I had her on hold. She was yelling so loud you could hear through hold. Go ahead, Sally.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah, just like I said, I'm just. I'm 110% present when I'm there. I'm. I'm available. Like, I'M like, acceptable employee.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Like, the boss realizes she's there.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Tabitha, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Good morning.

[Caller or Guest 2]

I just want to say that her

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

comment on having kids, that. That is.

[Caller or Guest 2]

That's just wrong. She totally lost my vote, and I hope she's lost every mother out there. I hope she's lost their vote, too.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Right.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Thank you.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I got a feeling she might be right.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I got a feeling.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I think it's ridiculous.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I think you're.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Let's go with that. What's ridiculous?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I mean, like I said, I'm at my desk, I'm doing my job, and I'm not. I'm not on the phone all the time just seeing how my kids are. I think, you know, I'm not wasting. I'm not wasting all this, you know, the company's time.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

You are.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

And so just because, you know, and other. When other people are. I don't think that's fair.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You've spent more time talking about other employees than you have about yourself. I still have no idea if you deserve a raise or not. Hey, Rhonda. Good morning. You're on qr.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning, Bird. How are you? How are the rest of y'? All?

[Bert (Main Host)]

We're doing okay. We're getting by this morning.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Val, you're not getting. That's her name. That's not Val. Val. Sweet pee chick. I forgot the child's name.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Sally.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Sally, you are not getting wrecked. Let's start off like the lady just said. You've offended every mother in the city of Atlanta. Second, you offended every smoker in the city of Atlanta. And clearly, if you hadn't gotten a raise in two years, unless you work for the government and do the recession, you're not getting anything. That's all I have to say.

[Bert (Main Host)]

My guess is Rhonda is not voting for you.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Rhonda is fully realized.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

She realizes she's not gonna vote for her.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Fully realizes that the other girl is getting her vote.

[Bert (Main Host)]

That was a tightly focused call.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You know, that's how I ended up with all my contract. Sit. You know, Bert's got kids, and I'm like.

[Bert (Main Host)]

And you're clearly tightly focused.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I'm seriously. I don't know if you guys realized this. Cause that's like a keyword, an action word. But Burt's got kids, and they're all the time.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

But you have a Twitterverse, which takes up more time than Bert with his kids.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Right. Which is my point. Burt's a bad parent. Do you want a bad parent representing station.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Tracy. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Not only should that heifer not get the raise, she should get fired, because, like the previous owner just said, she just offended every mother. And I don't smoke, but every smoker. And I got news for I don't spend. Yeah, I call and check on my kids when I'm 16, but she's still my baby, will always be my baby. And yeah, I check on her, but not to the tune of 20 minutes a day. I mean, if I'm doing something to where I can call and check on the kids if I need to, I do. If they're sick, yeah, I stay home with them. I am married. You know, have the husband at home, but he makes about four times what I do. So, you know, if the kids are sick, if one of us is staying with them, it's gonna be me. I mean, that's. That's what a mother does. I mean, you know, she is just. She has made me absolutely furious.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Okay, I don't think you're getting her vote either.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I'm gonna get some reason I don't

[Bert (Main Host)]

think doesn't look good.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

I'm gonna guess we don't even need the other co worker on. I'm just gonna say it out loud.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

She can just come on and say hello. If any mom can call up and be like, I really like my job.

[Bert (Main Host)]

If the other. If the other. If the coworker doesn't come on tomorrow, I think the vote would probably be zero to zero come Monday. Good morning, Lisa. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Oh, my God, Sally, you are so not a good employee. You've pitched nothing about the job that you perform. You're unprofessional at best. And not to mention, besides being not a good employee, you are not a good person. You are absolutely awesome. I cannot believe you have the audacity to insult mothers. And you have the audacity to sit there and you spent the whole time talking about how your other co worker is not a good employee. I mean, no boss in his right mind would ever give you a raise. And honestly, you should lose your job.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Sally, how do you feel about that?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I think it's completely ridiculous. And I would love the listeners who are business people to call in and that want good employees and not other mothers. I think it's totally ridiculous. Why can't smart people be calling in?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Well, let's.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Well, let's do that.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I'm still waiting for one to call in on the line that you're on.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Yeah, let's Just take calls from people who like Sally. Like, we can clear everybody else out. Let's just see who likes you.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

It's gonna be.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

And you know what? I made my. You know, like I said, I've never been late and I would stay when I. Because I can, and I've never asked for a raise. And because obviously here in my company, they want people to be a little bit more proactive. And so I just had the courage to go and ask for it. So it doesn't mean that I haven't deserved one, but I'm just telling you. And I have made the lives of people that I work with easier. And I helped make the company money by helping them and doing a good job.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I have a. I have a technical question for Wendy. If we're waiting for people who agree with Sally to call in, can we go ahead and do, like, Entertainment buzz and the 8:30 newscast? And can Brittany do her show, like, while we're waiting for those, or do we just have to sit here quietly?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

We'll wait till next year because it

[Bert (Main Host)]

may take a while. All right, Sally, if that's the best you got, then good luck to you. We have your co worker coming on tomorrow morning who basically, really, at this point, I think, just has to say.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Just say hello.

[Bert (Main Host)]

That's it. Yeah, I. Your strategy was terrible this morning. It was terrible. You offended so many people that you need to vote for you to get this raised.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

I know, but I didn't mean to offend anybody. I was just pointing out how I'm more available.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Okay.

[Caller or Guest 2]

All right.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I think you're gonna be plenty available after Monday. All right, we will talk to your co worker and then we'll catch back up with you maybe on Monday or Tuesday. Okay.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

All right, thank you.

[Bert (Main Host)]

All right. Bye.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Bye.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You know this is the talk of the whole office, right? And you know that there's other parents in the office besides Sally's co workers. This is the Birch Show.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's, no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can have help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. HERS connects to you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F r h r s.com Bert for hers.com birth weightless by hers is not available in all 50 states, but goi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with GOI clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borehurst.com it's the birch Show.

[Bert (Main Host)]

The email reads like this says this is more for the women on the Birch show than it is for the guys. It's one of those am I crazy? Questions that I'm too embarrassed to ask my own friends about. But can the women be totally honest with me? Maybe it's just me, but whenever I go for my wonderful, quote, unquote yearly, yearly gyno appointment, I always feel compelled. Compelled to fold my panties up and hide them under my jeans, all folded nicely on the chair.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Mm.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

That's. Yeah, that's normal.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Everybody does that.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I do.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

I do. You kind of want to keep everything nice and neat.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Why?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Because you don't want people to see your paintings.

[Bert (Main Host)]

But he's your gynecologist. He's about to check out your.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I have a she.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Yeah.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So she.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But isn't it the equivalent of, you

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

know, I don't know, it's just like a politeness thing.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Before you go to etiquette, before you go to the dentist, you floss like you've never flossed before. Same idea, right?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

No, the folding up of the pennies is just like courtesy. Yeah.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

You don't leave your panties hanging out in your bedroom. Polite for everyone to see.

[Bert (Main Host)]

But it's all so strange because they're just about to take a look at, like, what?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't know. It's your underwear.

[Bert (Main Host)]

It's about to take a look at your hoochie.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Yeah.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

You're worried about your underwear.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

It's all the same category. You know, there's not going to be anything because we are in the medical profession, gynecologist, dentist, at least, you know, by degree. We. It's. The whole thought of it is gross to us. So, like, when you go to the dentist, you Try to make it as pleasant as possible. Right. So is she doing the same thing at the gyno? Mm, just try to make it plenty, you know, as civilized as possible. Yes. Big old drawers hanging around. It's not polite.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Okay, again. She says she always folds up her panties and hides them under her jeans, all folded nicely on the chair. Do any of you do this? He's about to look at the most private parts of my body, so why should I care if he sees my underwear? Also, does anybody else shave their legs? And she writes trim before their exam. I do not. Only if anybody else. Not sure if anybody else does. Does anybody else clean up for their appointment? I think I put more time into getting ready for this exam than I do when I'm going out with a guy. I even make sure that my bra and panties match. Am I crazy? Sheila, the bra and panties, I don't understand.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah, that's a little odd.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

But I can see cleaning. Well, because you don't want to go in and look at a mess.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Well, I don't know. Because I have a female doctor. I don't think about it in that same way. I think it's because her doctor's a male. I would probably think about it more or put more time into it if it was a male doctor.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But you still make sure you're all in order, right? Like, you don't go in there all.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't think about it as much.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So you wouldn't like that the couple of hours leading up to your exam, you wouldn't go and shave? Or the night before you wouldn't shave?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

No, I do.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You do?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

See, I don't think that's abnormal.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Man or woman? Kinda.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

I have a woman.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Woman.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

So I'm not trying to impress her with anything, but I just don't wanna look all like a hot mess and nasty hairy legs and all that junk going on.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I always am concerned about my socks. Really?

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Their socks? Cause they're right up next to the face. That's a good point.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Oh, really?

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You don't want your feet to stink?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Yes.

[Caller or Guest 2]

That's awesome.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

I didn't think about that.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yes, because you're like, you know, gonna get in the.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

She's got a mask on.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Stirrups. And your feet. Do you take your socks off? No, because then you're bare feet and it's cold in there, and then your feet might smell, so you leave your socks on. And then I'm like, well, then you look ridiculous with just socks on. So it's like, I'm Always. I never know what to do with the socks. Leave them on, take them off. Do they smell? Would your feet smell worse if you do take them off?

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I have the same issue with the dentist.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Your socks.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Do you keep your pants on or pants off when you go to the dentist?

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

That would be your pants off, right?

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yeah. Yes.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Rebecca. Good morning.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Hey, how are y'? All?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller or Guest 2]

Oh, I'm such a big fan. Thank you.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

See you later.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Is that it?

[Caller or Guest 2]

Okay. Well, I'm definitely one of those women who definitely, like, I will go the whole yards. I will clean down there, I'll trim, I'll shave my legs, I'll make sure I wash my feet. And I even wear rainbow colored socks just so, you know, it's okay to leave my socks on. And I don't feel so completely stupid.

[Bert (Main Host)]

It's the same struggle you had, Jack,

[Caller or Guest 2]

you know, and I definitely fold up my clothes and that's even, you know, if I go to just the regular doctor and just for regular, you know, other crap that's still, you know.

[Bert (Main Host)]

And you put the underwear underneath your pants so your doctor can't see your underwear.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yes, I do. I do that with my bra, too.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Yeah, my bra. Well, you don't do that too normally. Take off your bra anyways.

[Bert (Main Host)]

But how long is one of those exams?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

It's pretty short and maybe 10 minutes.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Not too long.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

It's 10 longest minutes of the year, I imagine.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Well, and that portion of it is even faster. It's like maybe 60 seconds.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

And now get on with your life.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Nicole, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Radio Host - Ad Read]

Hello.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You just equated your vagina to Chili's.

[Caller or Guest 2]

I totally agree with her because I guess it's in our mind. We know that the doctors are not paying us any mind, but it's still the fact of when we in there, we're like, butt naked. I mean, who wants to be in there? And you're thinking, okay, did I lotion up enough? Okay, did I trim this enough? Okay, are they looking at this? Okay, are my socks clean? Okay, did I fold this up properly? You're in there and then you're waiting butt naked with just like this huge paper towel covering you up.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

And you're like, that paper towel thing is awful too.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yes.

[Caller or Guest 2]

It's so bad.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

You should bring a Snuggie.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yeah. I mean, the process is quick itself, but it's just a whole. You have just feel like you have to get ready for it and you have to put that time into it just because Someone's looking at you, whether they're looking at you in that way way, they're still looking at you.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Well, you're. Will you dress differently? Your outerwear different also, like, it's almost like you're going out on a date. Like, will you wear nicer clothes?

[Caller or Guest 2]

I mean, I'm not gonna go in there sloppy because I feel like if you're like in some jogging suit or something, you still gotta feel like, eh, but you know, I mean, nicer. Yeah, but not too nice, but kind of comfortable where I can get in my clothes, get out, you know, and kind of not. You don't want to go in there and like sweat. Like, you're in the office and you like, don't want to break out in a sweat or anything because you don't want to feel like you made yourself dirty.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You'll avoid sweating.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yeah, I mean, come on, when you're sitting in the office, you don't want to feel like, okay, I've just went through this whole process of lotion and cleaning just to get in the office and be like, damn, did I sweat a little bit.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Look, what you're saying is the same thing this email says is that she says that she's putting more time into getting ready for the exam than she does when she goes out with a guy.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

See, I'll wear sweatpants. Like, I don't care about my outerwear, but you want to make sure everything else looks decent.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I'm with her on the outerwear, though. I'll wear a nicer outfit on the days that I'm going to the doctor or the dentist.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Really?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yes.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Fascinating.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But isn't that just.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

See, I don't care about that.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

See, to me, I think that when

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I fly, I still do that. It's kind of old fashioned, isn't it?

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

I don't think it's old fashioned. I think it's just that, you know, because we work in a room with each other and have for so long, we don't really care what each other looks like. And by the way, I have to tell you that it's really throwing me off and weirding me out that Jen just put on all of her makeup during this break. Cause I'm wondering what is about to happen.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I just put on lip gloss because my lips were.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

And you did that thing with the little thing.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You know, you're okay until she changes her socks. Then it's gonna completely be weird.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But what I was. But like, related to that. Like, we all come in and looking like bums. In, you know, different ways. But if one of us has a doctor's appointment or something, or now I'm gonna, you know, start checking Jen's socks. Like, if one of us comes in.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Please don't.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

If one of us comes in looking a little more dressed up, it' always like, what do you got going on after the show? Because so.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Yes, that's true.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

So I guess my point, which you really threw me with the lip gloss. My point is just I think that we dress down for our job. So we do dress up to go to other places where if you wear a suit to work every day, you probably don't dress better for the dentist.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I know most guys won't agree with this, but I've told you guys before, if I'm going in for the yearly examination, and I know he's going to do the hernia test and check my junk and all that cough, brother. I'm trimming the night before doing a little manscaping. I manscape for my doctor. Hey, Rachel.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning. How are you guys?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Good. How are you?

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good. Well, being in the medical profession, and I've actually done. I'm a pediatrician, but I've done. You have to do all the prep, and you do two months in ob. I have to say that it is refreshing to see people who do take care of themselves and do trim and. And, you know, make a little bit of an effort, because it can. I mean, we see so many that you kind of get really. You get so used to it. But when people do take care and they shave and they look good and they've shaved their legs, it's nice. I mean, we appreciate it.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So, Rachel, imagine being a gynecologist in the 60s.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Oh, I know. It's scary.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't even want to think about it.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

That's all over the place.

[Bert (Main Host)]

That must have really sucked.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Yeah. You have one of those little minor lights on your head.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Gross.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Carried a machete in one hand.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Jessica. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning. Hey.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Hey.

[Caller or Guest 2]

This is kind of embarrassing, but I just wanted to call and say that I do not trim before the gyno, and I don't think any girl should.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Why is that?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Trim before the gyno sounds like most do.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Well, the reason why is because the first time I went, you know, I was a teenager, I was 17, and I was all nervous, and I did what all these women were talking about, and I got all dressed up and I trimmed everything and tried to get all groomed up. And the doctor kind of of treated me like I might be kind of loose, like a loose teenage girl. Because, you know, I was all trimmed up or whatever. And ever since then, I never trimmed before the gyno because I'm just worried that they're gonna look down on me. Like maybe I'm kind of like, did

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

your doc, did your doctor say something, you know?

[Caller or Guest 2]

Well, I had my mom with me because I was a teenager. And we both agreed when he left the room that he just kind of talked down to me.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

And he asked me all these questions

[Caller or Guest 2]

about birth control and I was not active sexually or anything. And he just kind of talked to me like maybe I was some kind of loose girl. And the only reason I could think is because I was all hairless.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

It's funny you say that because Brittany, who comes on at 10 o', clock, just sent an instant message. And she had a friend who would like to go would be bald, Right. Except for the month before her appointment because she didn't want to be judged as a kinky weirdo. So when she would go to her doctor, she would let everything fill in and then clean up again after the appointment.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

And I've had that same thought with laser hair removal. People who get the whole thing taken care of. I have always thought, what happens when you go to have a baby and like everybody's all up in there all the time, but you got like, nothing. Like you're totally bald, but you're like having a baby. So like to me, like you're looking like, yeah, I don't know, like a

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

12 year old having a baby.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That's why I would never be able to do that permanent hair removal of the whole thing. Because it's like, really?

[Bert (Main Host)]

But you want your baby to have easy access to oxygen too.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

You should be a mother at that point. Like to me, like, you should be a woman and you should sort of look like a woman when you're having a baby. And if you.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I think you should shave it. And the first thing the baby should, it should be like an easy access.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

The baby shouldn't be able to grab onto anything and try to force itself back in.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

But still, that's just weird to me.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Entering the world in one of those like phases with all that in her face and stuff.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That's just a way to come into

[Bert (Main Host)]

the world right there.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

You gotta at least have something. No, A landing strip.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Think about when your car goes through the car wash. The very last thing those things are hanging down that go on your windshield right there?

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bert (Main Host)]

That's what happens to the baby if you're not shaved.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

What does that mean?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Like there's no triangle car wash. Like

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

zero triangle lift and you're having a baby. What is that? I don't know.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Is that what happens when you pull the baby out and in the first picture you notice there's a pube on your kid?

[Bert (Main Host)]

Oh, dear.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Bird show.

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[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

and I have a weekly email that, that we usually do back and forth because for a long time we try to get on the phone. But I'm kind of a bad phone person. Like, I end up not calling back because I'm like, I don't have an hour to talk. You know, I'm running from here to there. Like usually on the phone. To me it's for a very practical purpose to get from one place to the next. Yes, I'll meet you here at this time then. Or you know what I'm saying? Anyway, so for that reason, my grandmother and I were out of touch because I'm just not good at the phone. So we do this weekly email thing where usually right at the beginning of the week, we exchange emails of, like, the things that are going on in our lives or whatever. And that seems to work for us to stay in touch. And she's pretty computer savvy or whatever. Um, well, I got one this morning that has me really freaked out from her. I'm just gonna read it to you guys. And by the way, she types in all caps.

[Bert (Main Host)]

She screams at you every time. Have you told her you can't do that, Graham?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

She says that she's too lazy to do anything else. She doesn't want to do the cap at the beginning of the sentences.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Well, she should type in all lowercase and be a little more emo.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That's true. I could tell her that she should do all lowercase, but yeah. She hits caps lock and starts typing away. So it says, hi, Jen. How are things with you? Going great, I hope. I have two major things on my mind. One is about her furniture. She recovers furniture. And so one story is about that, and then the other thing is that next January, I'm in a bind about getting my driver's license renewed. They have changed the laws, and you have to have proof of US Citizenship. I do not have a thing to prove mine. My grandmother's from Britain. Yeah, my grandmother's British. She's born in England and was shipped over here when she was very young because her mother died when she was 10. And back in those days, men didn't raise kids. So her father sent her here to the United States to be raised at a plantation in North Carolina with her great aunts. Really?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

I didn't know that.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Yeah. So she actually was shipped over, like, on the Queen Mary. Like she came on a boat. That's cool. Yeah. So she says, I do not have a thing to prove mine. I got a passport in 1973 to go to England to visit, but I didn't keep it current. She said, I went through the tortures of the damned to get that one. They do not accept an outdated one. Anyway, I'm going to the courthouse next week to see what I can do about all this. What a message. I'm sure I gave you some papers from my dad, which she did, because I'm really interested in the genealogy of my family and keeping those momentos and that kind of thing. So she's given me some of the genealogy books that she's worked on and some of the mementos from her past and from her dad or whatever. So she said, when you have the time, please check and send me a list of what you have, if you have any. She says, sorry to be such a pain, but I have no idea what they're going to ask me to supply. This may mean that I can't drive next year, which would be a real bummer. And then she puts. If I'm still alive, which she always jokes around about not being here, which is.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Yeah, that's not funny.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

It's not funny to me. But she's just. That's just the way she is. She just like laughs about it, you know, she doesn't. It's not a serious thing, but she just jokes around about that all the time.

[Bert (Main Host)]

How old is she now?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

She will be 82 this month, actually.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Okay.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Oh, boy.

[Bert (Main Host)]

I've got conflicted feelings about this. Well, I know she's your grandma and everything, but one less 82 year old on the road, so I gotta say,

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

yeah, I'm more worried about the citizenship. I'm not worried about the driving. What if they kick her out of the country?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Exactly. That's my concern. Like, if she stops driving, that would be a bummer because I think that my grandmother's where I get most of my independence from. Like, she doesn't need anybody to do anything for her. She is very, very independent. I mean, she's still recovering furniture and she's 82 years old. Like, she plays poker with her friends like twice a week. She goes swimming. She goes, you know, rides her bike around her, like senior citizen park. Like, she's got tons of friends.

[Bert (Main Host)]

She hasn't needed a man since she dated Charlie Chad.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Oh, she. She does not want a man. New, new, new, new, new, new, new, new. Like, that would be a pain in her butt. So she's just fiercely independent and having her car allows her to go to her Bible study, her poker groups, you know, going to church and that kind of thing and the grocery store and whatever else. Like, take her car away and you take away her independence. So that's.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

How did you get your driver's license, Joanna?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Well, actually, I was about to say, I do know that there's a new law with the whole. Cause my parents are not citizens, so they have to get their driver's license renewed every year now. Which is why my mom is going through the process of becoming a citizen.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Really?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

So what is her. I thought so. Is she a resident?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I have no idea. I never knew that. She didn't have any sort of proof of US Citizenship. Or maybe she's just been here long

[Bert (Main Host)]

enough, she's just fallen through the system.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I have no idea. But that's my biggest concern.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Like, what if they say you're not? Like, has she been paying taxes for 50 years?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Are you automatically considered a citizen if you've been here for that long of a time? No.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

You have to go through the whole process. She's 82, and she moved here when

[Bert (Main Host)]

she was 10, but she never got her citizenship.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't know. She just says that she has no proof of US Citizenship.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Just another illegal alien living off the resources of the United States of America.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

And they're not Spanish, so thank you.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

She's British.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Joanna's like, jim her ass back home.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

She's British, though, so they'll put her at the front of the line. Sorry. Parents are gonna have to get back on the boat for the ones going crazy. I just got it.

[Bert (Main Host)]

She's not sure if she's a citizen or not.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

She sent it last night just before midnight. So it was the first one of the first things that I saw when I woke up this morning and haven't been able to call and talk to her about it yet.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Boy, I would do a ton. If I'm her. I would do a ton of research before I went to go get my driver's license.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

But she is paying taxes, though, so she's still in the system as a citizen if she's paying us taxes. So she's gotta have it somewhere.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I gotta call my mom. I gotta call my dad and be like, what's going on? You know what I mean?

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

You can be a resident and pay taxes. She's got to be a resident of some sort. And she'll just have to keep getting it renewed every year, which will be a pain.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Here's Jonas. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Hey, good morning, guys. Love the show.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Thank you, sir.

[Caller or Guest 2]

You can either have her renewing online if she has a Social Security number, but if she's a resident, she can have a green card, and they will take a green card over the counter if she goes to the DMV as well.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

What if she has neither of those?

[Caller or Guest 2]

She must have one of those since she'd been here too long, otherwise she would not be able to be here. I mean, think about Obama's aunt got deported.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

What was the first thing? A Social Security number.

[Caller or Guest 2]

If she has one of those, she can renew her license online, go to the dmv.com georgia.com and renew online. Or I believe she has some kind of green card, or i94, I think that's what they call it. And she can renew in person at the dmv.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Thank you for calling, Jonas. Appreciate it.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

It's not her Social Security number.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

What if it's a guy named Jose Rodriguez's Social Security number?

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

I don't know. I mean, I don't know how she's. How she's been able to prove it this far.

[Bert (Main Host)]

By the way, Jonas, that accent you heard was Spanish. Oh, he was from Spain. Hey, Natasha.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good Morning.

[Bert (Main Host)]

You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Hi. Good morning.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Good morning.

[Caller or Guest 2]

I heard you talking about how you didn't know if a person's considered a citizen if they've been here so long. My mom is actually from Germany and she's not a citizen, but she's been here, like 27 years. You're considered a permanent resident if you pay taxes. You just can't vote.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

But if she doesn't vote, though.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Oh, she's real republican.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Oh, she votes.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Oh, yeah. She tells me all about it.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Like, my mom's political. But she can't, though.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

She just complains the documentation exists. Like she's not on the voter rolls. Right.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So there's no chance that they're gonna boot her out. Cause she does have her Social Security number and she is voting.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

Well, she has to have it.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

She had to present. Well, no, because she can present your driver's license to vote.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Exactly.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Now, back in the day, you could get a driver's license. Now with the terrorism and the homeland security and everything, you gotta prove things up one side and down the other. But back in the day, I think you could just come in with a birth certificate and an electric bill.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Well, now we can. Maybe instead of speculating, we got a lawyer that can help us out here. Hey, Rebecca. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Oh, hi. No, I think she misunderstood. I'm not a lawyer by any means. I worked for some lawyers in immigration law for a slight time, and I wanted to let you know that actually, it wasn't that hard until about the 1990s to get a Social Security number. That's why a lot of illegal aliens that have been here for over 20 years have one.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Okay.

[Caller or Guest 2]

So just because your grandmother has one doesn't necessarily mean she has any rights per se. So you really have to go look through all your papers and speak to a lawyer to get her something that does show that she does. You know, she has her claim to be here. Because if she doesn't, I mean, they have gotten really strict about actually sending out of the country.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That would be insane.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

That would be awful at 80 years

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

old, has lived here for 72 years.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Wow. So she would have to Instantly. She should call an immigration lawyer immediately.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yes. That's what. I can't find papers. Depending on the paperwork you have. Because she's been here for so long doesn't necessarily mean that I can't. You have the right to stay if you don't have the correct paperwork.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

We actually have a listener who is a pretty noted immigration attorney, and I'm looking for their information because they would be cool to call to get this answer.

[Bert (Main Host)]

If you can't find that person, we get Sanjay on. Sanjay Gupta could answer this.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

He knows everything. But you know why he can't? Because he's on his way to Haiti to save the world.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Right? That's right.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Of course.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

It's just wild.

[Co-host or Panelist 2]

But I think isn't that crazy to

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

think about, like, because she's been here so long and she grew up from 10 years old until, you know, until she got married. Well, she went to college, and then she says she got her Mrs. Degree in college. Like, she only went for that. But anyway, until she got married, that was in North Carolina. So she has, like a Southern slash British accent. It's really strange. It's very cool.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Her background. I didn't know her history. It's interesting.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

She'll be able to tell it from the suburbs of London.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

No kidding.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Hey, Anna, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest 2]

Good morning. I'm listening to you guys on the way to work. And I used to live in Texas, and back until about the 80s, a lot of people from Mexico were coming to the United States to have their babies, and that would let them become a permanent resident. But they quit that because so many illegal people were coming to have their kids to get their residency. Their residency that way.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

Are you still a resident of Texas or are you a resident of United States now?

[Caller or Guest 2]

Well, no, my dad was Cuban, so, you know, that's a little bit different. But no, I was born here in the United States.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So for you, it really wouldn't matter at this point, Jen.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

For her.

[Bert (Main Host)]

So you. She's really got to do some research here.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

Scary.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Very scary.

[Jen (Caller/Guest)]

That's the first thing I read when my eyes opened this morning. I was like, wait a second. Wait. What? What? So obviously today I'm going to be digging through all of those old, like, photo albums and genealogy and paperwork and whatever it is that she's given me to see if anything is in there.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Definitely.

[Sally (Caller with Raise Pitch)]

Yeah.

[Bert (Main Host)]

Scary, scary thought.

[Co-host or Panelist 1]

The bird show.