The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3: Monday, March 16 [Vault]

Date: March 16, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Jeff Bird, Jeff Dahl, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Producer Tracy
Episode Focus: Relationship drama, navigating childbirth support, and a long-lost love story reunion

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show kicks off with lively banter and two central, interweaving storylines: a heated debate about a dad’s place during childbirth, and a vulnerable update on a listener’s quest to reconnect with a high school sweetheart after 17 years. Throughout, the hosts balance playful teasing, earnest advice, and audience interaction, keeping the tone candid and humorous while diving deep into relationship dynamics.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Should Fathers Have a Choice in the Delivery Room? (00:29–14:03)

Background

• Main Characters: Brian (expectant father), Producer Tracy (pregnant), Brian's wife, Jessica, Tracy's husband Scott
• Issue: Brian expressed to his pregnant wife that he didn’t want to be in the delivery room, describing the experience as “gross and disgusting.” This prompted a backlash both from his wife and the show’s cast.

Key Moments & Insights

• Origins of the Debate (00:29–01:27)
  • Jeff Dahl raises the question: Should being in the delivery room be an option for dads, given that it wasn’t always common?
  • “Some guys might have weak stomachs or not want to see their wives in that state... So, I mean, busy labor can take 24 hours or longer.” — Jeff Dahl (00:42)
• Escalation & Advice (01:51–03:30)
  • Tracy asks her husband if he wants to be in the delivery room, causing tension. Brian tries to take gentler advice by involving his wife's sister, bringing her flowers to ease the discussion.
  • “She basically cut me off and just said, 'Don’t worry about it.'" — Brian (03:30)
  • “You don’t want to be in the delivery room? Fine. Stay in the waiting room.” — Brian’s wife (reported by Brian at 03:30)
• Control vs. Choice (04:08–07:51)
  • Brian laments the lack of control: He only wanted it to be his choice to be in the waiting room, not something he was told to do.
  • “I wanted to be in the waiting room, but I want it to be my choice to be in the waiting room.” — Brian (05:17)
  • Hosts and callers point out the contradiction and control issues at play.
  • Jeff Bird sharply concludes: “You got issues, man.” (05:42)
• Listener/Call-In Responses (07:46–13:09)
  • Judy (caller): “I just can’t even believe this idiot... He's going to be paying for this for the rest of his life, not only with his own guilt, but she is never going to forgive him.” (07:47)
  • Kimberly (caller, doula): Advocates for hiring professional support so the dad can step in or out as needed, recounts stories of dads fainting during labor.
• Hosts’ Final Takeaways
  • Bert summarizes, “I think the whole issue... was the fact of having control. Having an option for the man to be able to say what he wants to do and be able to do it. And so he didn’t get what he wanted.” (13:33)
  • The team concludes the debate is now more about “control issues” than the logistics of childbirth.

2. “The One That Got Away”: Craig Looks for Heather (14:57–21:15)

Backstory

• Craig, a musician, shares that he’s been unable to forget Heather, his high school sweetheart, despite 17 years, a marriage, and children of his own.

Key Moments & Insights

• Craig Shares His Story (14:57–16:37)
  • “I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about her. I’m still in love.” — Craig (15:16)
  • He’s tried to find her on social media for years without success.
• Reflecting on Lost Love
  • “I always wondered, you know, I think everybody has that one, and she was mine.” — Craig (16:26)
  • Hosts and Tracy suggest this will be cathartic, allowing Craig to move fully forward in his life.
• The Search for Heather (17:44–18:53)
  • Producer Tracy and Blue Dog Investigations successfully track down Heather's contact.
  • “She said, 'Oh my gosh. Wow, small world. Yes, I did date him.'” — Producer Tracy (18:55)
• Heather’s Side and Next Steps (19:37–21:15)
  • Tracy explains Heather’s busy schedule may keep her from calling in live, but she agrees to answer Craig’s questions by email or possibly join the show later.
  • “At this point, you got zero to lose, right? Zero.” — Jeff Bird (21:03)
  • Craig, nervous but hopeful, is eager for closure or a new beginning.
• Emotional Payoff
  • The segment sets up a future episode for Craig and Heather’s possible on-air reunion and resolution.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “His exact quote was, ‘It’s gross and disgusting,’ which might not have been the tact... probably not the proper maneuver, but I think it’s recoverable.” — Jeff Dahl (02:04)
• “It’s just, I’m just constantly being told what to do here... None of this is my choice.” — Brian (04:12)
• “You don’t want to be in the delivery room? Fine. Stay in the waiting room. That’s great. Just do what you want.” — Jeff Bird (06:59)
• “If you take my advice, you’re more [foolish than you think].” — Jeff Dahl, laughing at himself (08:06)
• “I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about her. I’m still in love.” — Craig (15:16)
• “The nostalgia of the whole thing could make it more romantic and intense than it could be maybe today.” — Brian (16:59)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:29–14:03 — Delivery room debate: Control, communication, and caller reactions
• 07:46–13:09 — Listener call-ins (Judy, Kimberly) and closing arguments on the childbirth debate
• 14:57–21:15 — Craig’s unresolved love story, the search for Heather, and plans for re-connection

Episode Takeaways

• Navigating Control in Relationships: The team humorously exposes how wanting choice and control, even in moments meant for support, can backfire. The importance of empathy, communication, and timing surfaces repeatedly.
• Long-Lost Love and Closure: Craig’s vulnerable story resonates as a universal human experience, inviting the audience to reflect on “the one that got away” while promising more to come.

Episode Tone & Style

Candid, playful, and occasionally blunt, the hosts balance real talk with laughter and listener interaction. No topic is too awkward or personal, and the “family” feel encourages both tough love and genuine empathy.

For listeners who missed the show, this episode delivers comedic relief and serious insights into modern relationships, all while setting the stage for a heartfelt romantic reunion.