The Bert Show: Full Show PT 3 (Monday, March 9, 2026) – Episode Summary
Main Theme
The episode centers on two main themes: 1) Hilarious (and relatable) debates over airplane etiquette prompted by the cast’s recent travel experiences, and 2) a candid, sometimes spooky, conversation about recurring nighttime “visitor” dreams and their significance, featuring listener call-ins and a dash of pop culture.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Airplane Etiquette: What Needs to Change?
- Trigger: Jessica’s recent travel experience prompts a group brainstorm of “airplane etiquette rules” everyone should follow.
- Hosts: Jessica, Jeff, Melissa, Katie, Ashley.
Airplane Rules Breakdown
-
Use your indoor voice
- Jessica recounts sitting near a marathon runner who loudly shared her life story:
"Rule number one: Use your indoor voice. Nobody needs to hear your whole conversation from the front of the plane." – Jessica (01:27)
- The group shares “loud talkers” and phone chat annoyances.
- Jessica recounts sitting near a marathon runner who loudly shared her life story:
-
Respect body language & personal space
- Melissa enforces:
"You need to learn to read the signs of the person next to you... If my earbuds are in, that means don’t chat." (02:28)
- Strategies for pretending to listen to music to avoid conversations.
- Melissa enforces:
-
Armrest Wars & Seat Space
- Jessica tells of being squeezed out of her seat due to two larger seatmates who refused the armrest, sparking a discussion:
"The armrest always has to be down unless it’s mutually agreed upon. That’s rude." – Jeff (03:46)
- Debate over whether those taking up extra space should buy two seats, paralleled with Canadian policy (Melissa: “Canadian courts just ruled…” 04:31).
- Jessica tells of being squeezed out of her seat due to two larger seatmates who refused the armrest, sparking a discussion:
-
Helping Elders and Parents
- Katie:
"It drives me crazy when I see a young man… not helping, like, a 70-something-year-old woman get her suitcase down." (04:41)
- Importance of chivalry and social responsibility on planes.
- Katie:
-
Deplaning Etiquette
- Jeff lays it out:
"There’s a reason why the aisles go 1 through 30… Row one gets to go out before two…" (05:51)
- Melissa offers nuance for tight connections but agrees with the general rule.
- Jeff lays it out:
-
Traveling with Children
- Caller “Angela” jokes:
"If you're traveling with children, you should be willing to Benadryl your child." (07:28)
- Jeff shares anxieties about flying with toddlers and the contagious effect of one baby crying.
- Ashley makes a gender observation:
"Just because I'm a woman, don't assume that I'm maternal..." (08:27)
- Caller “Angela” jokes:
-
Overhead Bin & Personal Items
- Jeff relays a caller’s point:
"Don’t take down someone else’s stuff from the overhead unless it’s yours." (11:22)
- Katie:
"Don’t put your jacket up there. Put your jacket below the seat in front of you…" (11:28)
- Jeff relays a caller’s point:
-
Seat Assaults
- Jasmine’s advice via Jeff:
"When you get up, don’t use the seat in front of you for help. That one drives me nuts." (11:59)
- Ashley:
"Don’t pull yourself up with my back. And they always catch some hair!" (12:04)
- Jasmine’s advice via Jeff:
-
In-flight Announcements
- Melissa teases flight attendants:
"We’re not on a tour. I don’t care what city we’re over..." (12:12)
- The cast jokes about the notoriously robotic Delta instructional video woman.
- Melissa teases flight attendants:
2. Spooky Dreams: Nighttime Visitors
-
Melissa's Experience
- Melissa describes waking and seeing/sensing someone standing over her bed:
"I wake up and I'm convinced someone is standing over the bed looking at me." – Melissa (13:12)
- Unsure if it's a dream or real; sometimes reaches out physically.
- Melissa describes waking and seeing/sensing someone standing over her bed:
-
Recurring Childhood Dreams
- Katie wonders about recurring dreams and references Eat, Pray, Love, sharing Bali folklore:
"In Bali, they would say that it’s one of your four brothers that’s protecting you, so not to be scared of it." – Katie (16:18)
- Katie wonders about recurring dreams and references Eat, Pray, Love, sharing Bali folklore:
-
Listener Call-ins: Shared Experiences
- Multiple listeners describe similar experiences, including sleep paralysis, shadow figures, and an unshakable “presence.”
- Caller:
"I have the same exact thing…and my mother actually has it too. It’s a man that stands over and watches us… I see…it’s a black…or a man that has a black trench coat." (17:32)
- Jeff and Melissa sleepily joke about the supernatural vs. mundane explanations.
-
Dealing with Night Visitors
- Listener “Kim” suggests focusing on positive thoughts or spiritual beliefs for comfort.
- Melissa shrugs off fear:
"I don’t feel scared, really… I’m just reaching for it to find out if there’s really a person there." (18:53)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Loud Airplane Talkers:
"She just wanted everyone to hear her life story and how great of a marathon runner she was. She was just terrific." – Jessica (01:36)
-
On Reading Social Cues in-flight:
"If my ipod earbuds are in my ear, that means don’t chat." – Katie (02:28)
-
On Deplaning:
"If you’re in seven, you’re not allowed to skip up to four." – Jeff (06:04)
-
On Child Travelers:
"When one kid starts yelling on a plane… it’s contagious. Like, one of them hears, ‘ahh’, and the other one’s like, ‘Oh, I can do that!’" – Jeff (07:54)
-
On Maternal Stereotypes:
"Just because I’m a woman, don’t assume that I’m maternal…" – Ashley (08:27)
-
Crowd Favorite:
"That airport sucks my butt." – Melissa on Dallas airports (06:28)
-
On the Delta Safety Video:
"She’s like a Stepford wife. Like, she’s like a little bit robot. Ish." – Katie (12:55)
-
Night Visitor Comfort:
"In Bali, they would say that it’s one of your four brothers that’s protecting you, so not to be scared of it." – Katie (16:18)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 01:01: Jessica launches the airplane etiquette rules conversation.
- 02:26: Melissa and Katie join in on reading social cues and headphone tricks.
- 03:16–04:46: Armrest, seating, and space sharing debates; Canadian two-seat policy.
- 04:41–05:51: Helping elders, deplaning etiquette, and chivalry in transit.
- 07:28: Caller Angela’s take on flying with kids.
- 08:27–09:38: Gender roles and kid behavior in the air.
- 11:22–12:33: Overhead bin, seat-grabbing, and in-flight announcements.
- 13:12: Melissa’s sleep “visitor” experience sets up dream discussion.
- 15:44: Katie’s Eat, Pray, Love anecdote about night presences.
- 17:32–18:20: Caller stories of sleep paralysis and “man in black” dreams.
- 18:34: Listener “Kim” offers advice for dealing with nighttime presences.
Tone & Style
- Warm, irreverent, and highly conversational.
- Jokes and banter flow naturally amidst truly relatable and occasionally vulnerable admissions.
- Occasional sarcasm and gentle teasing, but always with camaraderie.
Summary
This episode is an entertaining roller coaster, blending travel grievances, real-life hacks, and a dose of the supernatural. The Bert Show crew and their listeners break down the implicit (and explicit) rules of the road — or rather, the skies — while sharing the kinds of ghost stories that have you laughing as much as thinking. The combination of wit, honesty, and crowd participation makes for a lively listen that’s both ridiculously helpful and delightfully human.
