The Bert Show: Full Show PT 3 (Monday, March 9, 2026) – Episode Summary

Main Theme

The episode centers on two main themes: 1) Hilarious (and relatable) debates over airplane etiquette prompted by the cast’s recent travel experiences, and 2) a candid, sometimes spooky, conversation about recurring nighttime “visitor” dreams and their significance, featuring listener call-ins and a dash of pop culture.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Airplane Etiquette: What Needs to Change?

• Trigger: Jessica’s recent travel experience prompts a group brainstorm of “airplane etiquette rules” everyone should follow.
• Hosts: Jessica, Jeff, Melissa, Katie, Ashley.

Airplane Rules Breakdown

• Use your indoor voice

  • Jessica recounts sitting near a marathon runner who loudly shared her life story:

    "Rule number one: Use your indoor voice. Nobody needs to hear your whole conversation from the front of the plane." – Jessica (01:27)

  • The group shares “loud talkers” and phone chat annoyances.

• Respect body language & personal space

  • Melissa enforces:

    "You need to learn to read the signs of the person next to you... If my earbuds are in, that means don’t chat." (02:28)

  • Strategies for pretending to listen to music to avoid conversations.

• Armrest Wars & Seat Space

  • Jessica tells of being squeezed out of her seat due to two larger seatmates who refused the armrest, sparking a discussion:

    "The armrest always has to be down unless it’s mutually agreed upon. That’s rude." – Jeff (03:46)

  • Debate over whether those taking up extra space should buy two seats, paralleled with Canadian policy (Melissa: “Canadian courts just ruled…” 04:31).

• Helping Elders and Parents

  • Katie:

    "It drives me crazy when I see a young man… not helping, like, a 70-something-year-old woman get her suitcase down." (04:41)

  • Importance of chivalry and social responsibility on planes.

• Deplaning Etiquette

  • Jeff lays it out:

    "There’s a reason why the aisles go 1 through 30… Row one gets to go out before two…" (05:51)

  • Melissa offers nuance for tight connections but agrees with the general rule.

• Traveling with Children

  • Caller “Angela” jokes:

    "If you're traveling with children, you should be willing to Benadryl your child." (07:28)

  • Jeff shares anxieties about flying with toddlers and the contagious effect of one baby crying.
  • Ashley makes a gender observation:

    "Just because I'm a woman, don't assume that I'm maternal..." (08:27)

• Overhead Bin & Personal Items

  • Jeff relays a caller’s point:

    "Don’t take down someone else’s stuff from the overhead unless it’s yours." (11:22)

  • Katie:

    "Don’t put your jacket up there. Put your jacket below the seat in front of you…" (11:28)

• Seat Assaults

  • Jasmine’s advice via Jeff:

    "When you get up, don’t use the seat in front of you for help. That one drives me nuts." (11:59)

  • Ashley:

    "Don’t pull yourself up with my back. And they always catch some hair!" (12:04)

• In-flight Announcements

  • Melissa teases flight attendants:

    "We’re not on a tour. I don’t care what city we’re over..." (12:12)

  • The cast jokes about the notoriously robotic Delta instructional video woman.

2. Spooky Dreams: Nighttime Visitors

• Melissa's Experience

  • Melissa describes waking and seeing/sensing someone standing over her bed:

    "I wake up and I'm convinced someone is standing over the bed looking at me." – Melissa (13:12)

  • Unsure if it's a dream or real; sometimes reaches out physically.

• Recurring Childhood Dreams

  • Katie wonders about recurring dreams and references Eat, Pray, Love, sharing Bali folklore:

    "In Bali, they would say that it’s one of your four brothers that’s protecting you, so not to be scared of it." – Katie (16:18)

• Listener Call-ins: Shared Experiences

  • Multiple listeners describe similar experiences, including sleep paralysis, shadow figures, and an unshakable “presence.”
  • Caller:

    "I have the same exact thing…and my mother actually has it too. It’s a man that stands over and watches us… I see…it’s a black…or a man that has a black trench coat." (17:32)

  • Jeff and Melissa sleepily joke about the supernatural vs. mundane explanations.

• Dealing with Night Visitors

  • Listener “Kim” suggests focusing on positive thoughts or spiritual beliefs for comfort.
  • Melissa shrugs off fear:

    "I don’t feel scared, really… I’m just reaching for it to find out if there’s really a person there." (18:53)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Loud Airplane Talkers:

  "She just wanted everyone to hear her life story and how great of a marathon runner she was. She was just terrific." – Jessica (01:36)

• On Reading Social Cues in-flight:

  "If my ipod earbuds are in my ear, that means don’t chat." – Katie (02:28)

• On Deplaning:

  "If you’re in seven, you’re not allowed to skip up to four." – Jeff (06:04)

• On Child Travelers:

  "When one kid starts yelling on a plane… it’s contagious. Like, one of them hears, ‘ahh’, and the other one’s like, ‘Oh, I can do that!’" – Jeff (07:54)

• On Maternal Stereotypes:

  "Just because I’m a woman, don’t assume that I’m maternal…" – Ashley (08:27)

• Crowd Favorite:

  "That airport sucks my butt." – Melissa on Dallas airports (06:28)

• On the Delta Safety Video:

  "She’s like a Stepford wife. Like, she’s like a little bit robot. Ish." – Katie (12:55)

• Night Visitor Comfort:

  "In Bali, they would say that it’s one of your four brothers that’s protecting you, so not to be scared of it." – Katie (16:18)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:01: Jessica launches the airplane etiquette rules conversation.
• 02:26: Melissa and Katie join in on reading social cues and headphone tricks.
• 03:16–04:46: Armrest, seating, and space sharing debates; Canadian two-seat policy.
• 04:41–05:51: Helping elders, deplaning etiquette, and chivalry in transit.
• 07:28: Caller Angela’s take on flying with kids.
• 08:27–09:38: Gender roles and kid behavior in the air.
• 11:22–12:33: Overhead bin, seat-grabbing, and in-flight announcements.
• 13:12: Melissa’s sleep “visitor” experience sets up dream discussion.
• 15:44: Katie’s Eat, Pray, Love anecdote about night presences.
• 17:32–18:20: Caller stories of sleep paralysis and “man in black” dreams.
• 18:34: Listener “Kim” offers advice for dealing with nighttime presences.

Tone & Style

• Warm, irreverent, and highly conversational.
• Jokes and banter flow naturally amidst truly relatable and occasionally vulnerable admissions.
• Occasional sarcasm and gentle teasing, but always with camaraderie.

Summary

This episode is an entertaining roller coaster, blending travel grievances, real-life hacks, and a dose of the supernatural. The Bert Show crew and their listeners break down the implicit (and explicit) rules of the road — or rather, the skies — while sharing the kinds of ghost stories that have you laughing as much as thinking. The combination of wit, honesty, and crowd participation makes for a lively listen that’s both ridiculously helpful and delightfully human.