Full Show PT 3: Monday, November 10

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3 (Monday, Nov 10, 2025)

Engaging Morning Radio: Dating Dramas, Celebrity Chat, and Real-Life Laughs

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Episode Overview

This episode is classic Bert Show fare—rolling through awkward dating mishaps, listener love lives, and celeb conversations with warmth, sass, and honest advice. The two standout arcs: the ongoing saga of Penelope’s office crush, which takes a messy, comedic turn, and an upbeat guest segment with R&B superstar Usher about his Broadway debut. Plus, a rapid-fire love lost-and-found story with caller Stacy. Throughout, the hosts (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and team) maintain their trademark playful and candid banter, pulling listeners into every high and low.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Penelope’s Office Romance Rollercoaster

[01:15 – 18:58]

• Background Recap [01:16]:
  Penelope, confident in most areas but "clueless about dating," seeks the show’s guidance winning over co-worker Ian. Over several weeks, the cast advised her step-by-step (“how to get the guy”), including strategic run-ins and cold-shoulder games.

• The Phil Decoy & Date Gone Wrong [03:38 – 06:41]:
  To make Ian jealous, Penelope was supposed to be seen at lunch with another guy, Phil. Miscommunication leads to a no-show, resulting in much confusion and embarrassment for Penelope. Both Phil and Penelope share conflicting accounts—she insists Phil "stood her up," he details leaving multiple voicemails. Penelope waited, feeling "humiliated in front of Ian."

• Host Analysis on Penelope’s Struggles [09:15 – 12:02]:
  The crew points out Penelope’s lack of improvisation and tendency to get flustered:

  "Improvising in this situation would have been, you know, pretending to be on the phone or... faking a conversation… but the improvisation factor in this dating game has been missing from the start." – (Bert, 09:22)

• Listener Opinions & Tough Love [13:01 – 13:45]:
  Listeners and hosts question why Penelope remains fixated on Ian after his red-flag behavior and offer hard truths:

  “You want this guy so badly you can’t see things clearly... I don’t even know that I’m comfortable even still setting you up with this dude.” – (Bert, 13:24)

  "He could be a great guy that made a terrible dating mistake... Spending 90 minutes talking and arguing with your ex girlfriend while you're on a first date—normally, [you] just don’t recover from that." – (Host, 13:45)

• Penelope’s Perspective & Hang-Up [15:46 – 17:06]:
  Penelope insists Ian is "it for me" despite warnings, growing frustrated with the cast—eventually hanging up:

  “I’m gonna do it by myself... I’m gonna do it myself.” – (Penelope, 16:57, 17:01)

• Hosts Reflect & Advise Listeners [18:28]:
  The team wraps with broader lessons about over-eagerness and missed signals in early dating, noting Penelope’s mistakes as teachable moments.

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2. Usher Interview: Broadway, Work Ethic, and Fame

[21:13 – 37:46]

• Broadway Challenge & Fearlessness [21:43]: Usher shares about his new role in Chicago:

  "I can't say that there's no fear. I'm just anxious to get started... Differently from acting—you can cut in acting, but on stage, you have to find the moment, live." – (Usher, 22:03)

• Respect for Broadway & Preparation [23:38]:
  Discusses his rookie status on Broadway but dedication to his craft:

  “Of course, I feel like I have something to prove… This will be the first musical I've ever played in, the first time I've ever been on Broadway.” – (Usher, 23:38)

• Actor Method Talk & Celebrity [22:49]:
  Hosts chat method acting (referencing Johnny Depp & Russell Crowe).

• Family Support & Atlanta Roots [27:17]:
  Usher talks about his mom's ongoing influence and his Atlanta favorites:

  "Yeah, my Porsche GT... I miss it more than anything." – (Usher, 36:19)

• Paparazzi & Public Life [29:40]:

  "The world is so busy trying to worry about everybody else's business that they don't pay attention to their own… There's a job for everybody... As long as paparazzi is not disrespectful...” – (Usher, 29:40)

• Ambitions and Next Steps [34:35]:

  “I want a Grammy, Tony, Oscar, Emmy.” – (Usher, 34:37) Hosts joke about his high bar and tease him about conquering all forms of entertainment.

• Candid Personal Reflection [33:54]:

  “I've learned to love myself enough to be patient... Eventually I'll make sure I get it right.” – (Usher, 33:54)

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3. Love Lost & Found: Stacy and Byron

[37:53 – 49:40]

• Stacy’s Awkward Icebreaker [39:42]:
  Stacy makes a move on Byron at a bar with a “you look like my friend from home” line, but fails to close the deal. She regrets not following up after their photo together.

• Small World Connection [43:02]:
  Co-host Jen Hobby tracks down Byron via a friend’s sister, while the Burt Show community helps to confirm his identity and make the connection.

• Live Call & Playful Banter [45:11]:
  The team coaches Stacy to "keep it casual," joking about “touching his private parts” and “folding clothes at the Gap,” lightening the mood.

  “Stacy is hot?” – (Byron, 46:44)
  [Cue on-air fist pump from Stacy.]

• Potential Connection Made [47:16]:
  Byron agrees to let Stacy have his number, and the cast teases her about not scaring him off. They plan to follow up next week.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Penelope’s Frustration:
  “Just because I feel like I'm supposed to have the guy by now.” – Penelope (10:42)

• Host Real Talk:
  “If you were gonna be a hot commodity, you would have just lost interest completely right there.” – Host (14:10)

• Usher on Acting:
  “You have to find the moment... because you’re acting live, man.” – Usher (22:12)

• On Paparazzi Culture:
  “As long as paparazzi is not disrespectful… when you sign up as an entertainer, anonymity goes out the window.” – Usher (29:40)

• Host Support:
  “We accomplished the goal. Yeah.” – Host (17:47)

• Stacy’s Victory Cheer:
  [Stacy pumps fist after Byron calls her hot.] (46:45)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Penelope Recap & Drama: 01:16 – 18:58
• Usher Interview: 21:13 – 37:46
• Stacy & Byron Love Story: 37:53 – 49:40

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The Bert Show strikes a familiar balance of empathy, humor, and gentle ribbing. They offer real talk about the perils of overinvesting in the wrong person, celebrate bold moves (however awkward), and keep things light with celebrity guests who are game for anything. The Penelope saga underlines the need for self-respect in dating; the Usher interview delivers star-power, humility, and ambition; and Stacy’s story wraps things up with hope and heart.

For listeners: You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you might just pick up some dating do’s and don’ts—all served up with honesty and fun.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Did I talk too much? Can I just let it go?

[A]

I wish I would stop thinking so much.

[B]

Take a breath.

[C]

You're not alone.

[B]

Let's talk about what's going on. Counseling helps you sort through the noise.

[A]

With qualified professionals, and online therapy makes it convenient.

[B]

See if it's for you.

[A]

Visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy. And let life feel free. Better the Bird Show Melissa Carter for those that are listening for the first time, or those that might have just caught Penelope last time, who is she and why have we been talking to her for weeks now? Because she has told us she's clueless about dating.

[C]

Right. And that's exactly why she called. Because she said, you know what? In any other realm of my life, I do fine. I'm confident, I'm social, but when it comes to dating and guys that I really like, then I lose all cool and I don't know what to do. And so she said that there was a guy who in her office this summer that she's interning with, and his name is Ian. And she said that she really wants this guy, but she has no clue on how to get him. So we called it how to get the guy, and that's what we were gonna help Penelope do. So she agreed that she would not do anything other than what we tell her to do, the suggestions we make. And she's done that over the past few weeks and things have worked. We've suggested when to talk to Ian, when not to talk to Ian, how to act, what to say, what to do. And so we even had Phil at one point go and take her out for lunch so that Ian could see another guy taking take her out to lunch because we knew that that would get him kind of pumped up, his, you know, competitive streak pumped up. And it worked. So after that happened, he asked Penelope out for a date this weekend. This past weekend, yes. And they had a date in Athens, but unfortunately she was all ramped up. This was the first date. It was going to be exciting, and then it didn't go so well.

[A]

All right, so if you missed the last time that we talked to Penelope, here's about 90 seconds of the conversation to truly get you caught up. So you said you were gonna give him the cold shoulder. Burt, show listening community said, look, this is the way you gotta go. You asked us for advice, so you have to take it. And they said after hearing that this guy disrespected you the way that he did by not calling back, you had to show him how angry you are. So for 24 hours, you were supposed to give him the cold shoulder.

[D]

He got it, and he came over to apologize, and he said, oh, you know, really, really sorry. My ex girlfriend and I had, like, a lot of, you know, water under the bridge. There were. There was a lot that we had to let out, and you didn't deserve that, and I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. So he said, please. So he begged for another chance. Please let me make it up to you, because I'm not like this. I'm really sorry.

[A]

Does he define what's going on with the exact.

[D]

Well, he said that it was over before he got to say goodbye, and they never really got to talk about anything, and that there was just a lot of anger that he had that he had, and he just lashed out.

[A]

All right, so what is the next step here? Does she give him the cold shoulder for four days? Is it two days? Does she go through the weekend? Adam, go ahead. You're on the bird show.

[E]

She needs Phil to go back over there, and that's just going to make him realize that he ain't got her yet and she's still willing to date other people, which are making a fight a little bit harder.

[A]

You're good with all that.

[D]

I should just go out with Phil.

[A]

Which was the suggestion to go out with Phil again to get Ian's interest up. So, Phil, did you guys have that date? No, we did not.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Here's what happened yesterday. I called her because the first time we met up for lunch, it was probably about 1245 ish. And I was running. Not. I was. I wasn't even running late. I just wanted to call, make sure we're still on the same time schedule and time frame. Called her the first time, no answer, no worries. Gave it about another, left her message, called her back about 10 minutes later. Hey, Penelope, it's Phil. I'm getting ready to head up that direction. Just want to make sure we're still on. Want to make sure we're good to go. Still no answer. Then I called her office and left a message at her desk and left her another message and say, hey, Penelope, it's Phil. Are we still getting together today? Just need to know what's going on. Give me a call back. And I left her three separate messages. Two on her cell phone and then one on her office phone. Probably all within a span of about 30, 35 minutes. And never heard back from her once.

[B]

And are all of your 14 girlfriends mad about that?

[A]

They love it. And so I never heard back from her. So I wasn't going to waste my time and go up there and, you know, because she doesn't work super close to the station, I had other stuff I had to do. So I was just going to sit around and wait. And I gave her a window until about 2:00', clock, 2:15. And I never heard from her. So I just gave up on her. She may have a perfectly good excuse. Hey, Penelope.

[D]

Hi, guys.

[A]

Hey. Part of the plan here was that you were gonna go out with Phil again. Ian the intern would see you in the office with Phil again, get jealous, kind of jumpstart his interest even more. What happened?

[D]

Well, as far as I'm concerned, that Phil never showed up. I told Ian that I had a date for lunch and Phil never showed up.

[A]

I called you numerous times. I never heard back from you. I mean, I was ready to go. You sure you had the right number and all? Yeah, her voicemail. I've talked to it before. I even got her right voicemail at her office, her desk, office phone.

[D]

As far as I was concerned, you didn't show up. I didn't get any calls. I wasn't even looking for the phone. I was looking for you.

[A]

Did you not. Did you not get any of my voicemails? Yesterday? I left you two in your cell and one in your office at the.

[D]

End of the day until I actually checked them. I was waiting out the window looking for you. I was freaking out because I told Ian that we had a date. So I was humiliated in front of Ian when you just didn't show up.

[C]

All right, Penelope, hold on a second. Despite the miscommunication between you and Phil, why did you even tell Ian you had a date?

[A]

Ah.

[D]

What do you mean, why did I tell him that?

[C]

Because you were supposed to give him the cold chance.

[D]

Me, out to lunch? I told him I had a date.

[A]

Who took you out to lunch?

[B]

He asked her out to lunch.

[D]

I was doing for lunch. I told him I had. I had plans, and then.

[F]

And then Phil stood you up.

[A]

I didn't.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

I didn't stand you up. You have my number, too. How come you didn't call me?

[D]

Oh, I didn't have my. My. My phone was all acting weird. It was just acting weird all day.

[A]

Well, it doesn't smell right.

[D]

Yeah, I had a weird day. So you guys gotta help me get this guy, because I'm. It's not working out.

[A]

Wait, we gotta back up for a second. Swear on your. On your water pipe that, um, you weren't ditching.

[F]

It's not a bong.

[A]

That you weren't ditching Phil.

[D]

Oh, I wasn't ditching Phil at all.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

No, I thought I was ditched, but it was. I say miscommunication. Fine. That's fine.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

That's fine.

[C]

To find.

[B]

So when we told you to give him the cold shoulder. Right. What happened? Like, I'm confused on how he approached you to ask for lunch.

[A]

Because the last time we talked to you, he said something about, I apologize. I apologize about that. And you said, I need a couple of days to think about things. Just basically leave me alone for a couple of days. We'll check back at the end of the week type thing.

[D]

Yeah. And he said, so, what are you doing for lunch today? He kept trying to be nice and kind. He came up to me, and weren't.

[B]

You supposed to say, dude, I need a couple days?

[D]

Yeah, I said I had plans for lunch.

[C]

Well, wait a second. Okay, that happened yesterday. So up until. Yes, so up until yesterday, from the time that you talked to us, then how have you given him the cold shoulder? Because I think what Jen's asking is, how did he feel comfortable enough to just randomly come up to you and say, I want to go to lunch to talk.

[D]

He said we should talk. Do you want to go to lunch with me?

[A]

That doesn't sound so out of the ordinary to me that he would press and press and press that. Look, I know she's hurting, but I can't take it. I gotta, like, talk to her.

[C]

Well, my thing is, I think humiliated is a little over the top. Like, I mean, there's a miscommunication between you and Phil. I don't know why you would think Phil would. Would stand you up when we've helped you this whole time, but, I mean, if things just didn't work out. They didn't work out. But, I mean, I don't understand why you felt humiliated in front of Ian.

[D]

Well, because I looked nice. I was ready for. I was, you know, we were ready for a date and somebody doesn't show.

[B]

Up, so you get in the car and tell him you're going to meet Phil somewhere.

[A]

Didn't happen.

[D]

No, that didn't happen.

[A]

So you initially, like, right at the outset, said that you need help because things now are gone horribly wrong. So what has gone horribly wrong since then?

[F]

Well, Phil stood her up, so she's humiliated.

[A]

That's it.

[D]

Uh huh.

[A]

That's. No, that's not.

[C]

Well, my thing. I mean, I guess my thing is like, if. Cause sometimes things just don't work out. Like you had plans and then, well, they just didn't, you know, then you didn't.

[D]

But I know, but I was still humiliated. Waiting for a date, you know, looking nice. And.

[B]

I think that what we're missing here is that, you know, Penelope's told us from the beginning that she needed help, which means she lacks the ability to improvise. Improvising in this situation would have been, you know, pretending to be on the phone or actually checking your cell phone and calling Phil and maybe faking a conversation saying, okay, that sounds great, I know traffic's bad, I'll meet you there. And then go on your little pseudo lunch date, which would have accomplished the same thing as actually going out with Phil is pretending like you had plans. But the improvisation factor in this dating game has been missing from the start.

[F]

So she's not capable of it.

[B]

We're assuming she'd be able to do that. Well, what do you know what assuming does?

[F]

Like playing Frisbee with a guy with no hands.

[A]

What? Huh? You just keep looking up because that's where it all is. Penelope, I understand that it didn't work out well for you, but the panic that I hear, like, oh, things are gone so bad. I was humiliated. This. None of this, I think, plays into what his reaction would be to you.

[C]

Well, it depends on. Okay, so I want to know what happened. Okay, Phil. You figured out that you and Phil were not going to lunch, so I want to know what happened from lunch until the end of the day yesterday. Conversations you had with Ian.

[D]

None.

[C]

None.

[F]

Why do you sound so mad at us?

[D]

Just because I feel like I'm supposed to have the guy by now.

[C]

I'm sorry, what?

[A]

You feel like you should have gotten the guy by now?

[D]

Oh, yeah. It's just been so long.

[C]

Well, honey, honey.

[F]

And whose fault is it that you don't have the guy?

[D]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Well, keep that up. I think it's His.

[C]

Because the thing is, you got a date. Like, he asked you out, and we. And you went on a date. It's not our fault that he was a jerk to you on your date.

[F]

But I think she thinks it's our fault.

[C]

Well, that's ridiculous. You got the date or Phil's fault for standing up. And then. We're trying to help you. You know, like we told you, we think that he treated you unfairly and that you deserve better. But you decided that you wanted this guy so badly, so we're trying to help you get him back.

[A]

You couldn't even approach this guy when we talked to you. Now you're setting up dates. You've gone on group dates, so you kind of. I think things are progressing just fine.

[D]

Okay, yeah, well, maybe there's a little.

[A]

Education going on here also. Like, maybe this is the reason why you've said that you've had no luck at all dating. Maybe you push things along too quickly. Like, you show too much eagerness right off the bat.

[C]

Mm.

[F]

Crazy.

[B]

You do have to hold something back, I think, at the very start, just to sort of play that cat and mouse game. Guys love the chase.

[A]

That's what we've been telling you since minute number one.

[C]

He asked you to lunch yesterday. I mean, like, he's. He's. You know. And all we've told you is to make sure that he doesn't treat you poorly again. That. That's why you needed to kind of make him work a little harder for that second date because he was so horrible to you on the first one.

[D]

I'm ready.

[B]

For what?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, for what?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

You can't, like, I don't know, that you have the right attitude. Yes. Attitude or spirit right now to find love. It sounds like you're harboring a big chip or something.

[A]

She just wants to be with this dude no matter what. Our advice is not gonna matter.

[C]

Well, then she can do her own thing.

[F]

Yeah, but why? She can't get mad at us for pushing her along.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, if you want to do your own thing.

[A]

Veronica, good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

You can't get mad at me. Hey, guys.

[D]

I love you guys.

[C]

Hey.

[D]

I just had one thing to say. Penelope is so gone, off the edge, she is going to make excuses further down the road for Ian, and he's just going to be her, like, dating Antichrist one day, and then you can have her back on further down the road for another bit. Just let her go. She's. She's gonna make excuses for this guy.

[A]

She.

[D]

It doesn't matter at this point.

[A]

I think there's some validity in what she's saying. Like, it doesn't matter at this point what we say. You want this guy so badly that you can't see things clearly. And I don't. I don't even know that I'm comfortable even still setting you up with this dude. I don't think he's a good guy. Yeah, I'm not sure he's a great guy.

[B]

Well, I think that he could be a great guy that made a terrible dating mistake. And some mistakes in dating you just don't recover from, like, spending 90 minutes talking and arguing with your ex girlfriend while you're on a first date with another girl. Normally, just don't recover from that.

[A]

Well, and then not apologizing the next day.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Big time strikes right off the bat. Yeah, that's character stuff there.

[F]

Like, as we told you last time, like, you probably shouldn't like it. It should have ended when he did that.

[B]

Yeah. You know, if you were gonna be a hot commodity, you would have just lost interest completely right there, Pierre.

[F]

Kind of like you are with us.

[C]

Exactly.

[F]

Yeah. You need to treat Ian the way you're treating us.

[A]

Hey, Pierre. Good morning.

[E]

Good morning, virtual. I think you're wasting your time with this girl. I mean, she's stupid. Sorry to say that. You're wasting your time. She's made up her mind a long time ago with this guy, and she's going to be heartbroken.

[A]

So you think it doesn't matter?

[E]

What advice doesn't matter?

[A]

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[B]

Can we just keep him on the phone?

[A]

You like that accent?

[C]

Talk some more.

[B]

Yeah, just say some other things to us.

[F]

I say that one's fake.

[A]

Pierre, what part of France are you from?

[E]

No, I'm from Central Africa. From Cameroon.

[A]

Which used to be owned by the French.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

All right. Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, you need to go by his accent, not his name. Bert.

[F]

So you're from deep southern Pierre.

[B]

That was the name of half of the males in my class in French, too.

[A]

Pierre.

[B]

Because you know how the teacher has to give you a French name?

[F]

Everybody wanted to know my name in Spanish class, too.

[A]

Penelope, I'm not exactly really sure where to go. He has not said to you, let's go out this weekend?

[D]

No, but I also haven't given him every opportunity to do so.

[C]

Yeah. My feeling now is that we accomplished what we set out to do with her. We got her the guy on the date. The date Went badly. Because if he him. Not because of Penelope, because of Ian, then we gave the advice. Well, I mean, he doesn't look. Sound like he's a good guy. Penelope still wants to pursue him, and I say let her pursue him on her own.

[B]

Penelope, just curious. What are you blinded by with this guy? Because obviously, you know, you're a cool girl. You've got this cool internship, you're in school, you got everything going for you. Why is this guy, like, able to be a jerk, but you still want him? What is it about him?

[D]

I think everybody's had that guy in their life that may have messed up, but they really feel a connection with.

[B]

So you feel a connection with him, that's why you're blinded. Or is he just, like, hot? Like, what's the deal?

[D]

It's everything. He's it for me.

[B]

He's what?

[D]

He's it for me.

[B]

It's called dating Antichrist.

[F]

He set your loins on fire.

[B]

Not yet. She's had one failed date with him. It's going there. He can't be the Antichrist.

[A]

Yeah. She's on her way to dating Antichrist.

[C]

Let her do it. Like, the thing is.

[F]

On her own.

[C]

Let her do it. Yeah. On her own. Because, I mean, the thing. It was Penelope. I mean, honestly. I mean, I just think that we have helped you. And. And, yeah. And I just think that just your attitude this morning is what I. I'm like, you know what? Good luck. Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

All right. Thank you.

[A]

That's it.

[D]

Yeah. I'm gonna do it myself.

[A]

You don't really. You don't need our advice. You don't want our advice. You want to do things by yourself.

[D]

I'm gonna do it by myself.

[A]

Okay. All right. I think that's.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

All right.

[F]

Can you just put all my stuff in a box? I'm gonna send my friend. Oh, she's gone.

[B]

Oh, dang. That's the second person that's hung up on us today.

[A]

She didn't. You know what? This was stupid.

[C]

She was mad at Phil. That was mad at she. And the humiliation in front of Ian, and it's like, that was ridiculous.

[B]

Improvise.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, that's what you gotta do.

[C]

And don't be humiliated is such a strong word. It was like, plans change and it was lunch, and it's no big deal.

[A]

Well, because she feels like there's so much at stake with this guy. The fact that Phil didn't show up, she really feels that is a crisis. Like, she was totally humiliated in front of Him. She can't see things. She does. She's not going to take our advice.

[B]

From here on out.

[A]

She wants to be with this guy. It would have worked fine. We had it going fine.

[C]

Yeah, we. We accomplished the goal. Yeah.

[F]

He went to. Where did he go again?

[C]

They went to Athens.

[A]

Athens.

[F]

Where he hooked up with his ex girlfriend for 90 minutes. Arguing or making out, it doesn't matter. There's still passion.

[C]

And I still think, like I said before, like, both Ian and Ian and Penelope are going to Athens this fall. And I do think that ex girlfriend is in Athens. And I do think Ian's eventually going to get back together with her when school starts.

[B]

It's passion. And if anybody knows passion, it's Jeff Dahl passion.

[F]

That's for sure. Sometimes I say it like this. Passion. And that means a lot of passion.

[B]

Save that.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, the way she hung up the phone, she was over this whole thing when she got on the phone with us, which is fine. I'm just sorry that we wasted so much time with her over the last couple of weeks because we had her at a place where if he was a decent guy, things would have been fine. Yeah.

[B]

I think everybody can learn from her over eager mistakes. Totally that. And if you are waiting on somebody to come meet you for lunch and they are not there yet, why would you not at least check your voicemail? Like, look at yourself. I mean, that's nuts.

[F]

If you heard her, she was having a weird day.

[B]

Her phone was weird that day.

[A]

Yeah. Morning, Burt Show. Hello.

[D]

Hi, good morning.

[B]

How are you?

[A]

Good, how are you?

[D]

I'm doing great. You guys need to tell her to just call back. Try to win the money and get some therapy.

[A]

Cute.

[E]

Cash card for you.

[A]

Penelope, you are absolutely right.

[D]

She is a dean back and it is no help. She.

[A]

Yeah, this thing's done. Thank you, Melissa.

[D]

Bye bye.

[A]

Now the Bird Show. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. As winter approaches, make sure you set aside some time for self care now through December 2nd. Get great savings on personal care essentials when you shop in store or online. Buy two participating self care items and save $3. Shop for items like Tresemme Shampoo, Dove Shampoo, Dove Men's Care Body Wash, Dove Dove Body Wash and Axe Shower gel. And save $3 when you buy two or more items. Offer ends December 2nd. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Did I talk too much?

[F]

Can't I just let it go? Thank you so much.

[C]

Take a breath you're not alone. Counseling helps you sort through the noise with qualified professionals. Get matched with a therapist online based.

[B]

On your unique needs. And get help with everyday struggles like anxiety or managing tough emot.

[A]

Visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy. And let life feel better. Hey, listeners, Meet Russell. Hey. Russell just launched a fitness app, and he needed to get the word out to busy professionals looking to stay fit. So I turned to acast. I used their smart recommendations feature to.

[F]

Easily find shows that talk about health and fitness.

[A]

Booking sponsorships through their platform was a breeze. And. And just like that, my app was.

[F]

In their ears during their morning run.

[A]

Sounds like a smart move, Russell. How's business looking now? Sweat is pouring, and so are the installs. Spread the word about your business with podcast ads on Acast. Start today at go acast.com advertise. Hey, Usher, what's going on?

[E]

You got hate in your blood, man.

[A]

I'm serious, man. It's just.

[E]

Don't hate me. Love me for being productive, man. This is what entertainment it is. It doesn't just stop on the stage, man, or on television. You got to keep it moving. How y' all doing, man?

[A]

Good, dude. It just doesn't seem fair to me, like, that God gave you all of this, and we have.

[E]

And I'm tall.

[A]

This.

[E]

Man, this is. This is good, man. This has actually been. It's been a great. It's been a new experience for me, man. I've never. I never prepared for anything quite like this.

[A]

You're. You're totally. I mean, we're going to get into talking about Chicago, but, I mean, you're fearless. You really, really are. Like, this is a big deal. Like, a lot of people will dabble in a lot of different areas in entertainment. I'm not trying to kiss your ass here or anything, but, I mean, getting up on stage, this is a totally different arena for you, but you seem to, like, just jump right in. No fear at all.

[E]

Well, I can't say that there's no fear. I'm just anxious, I'd say, to get started. You know, it's been a lot of. A lot of rehearsal in preparation for it because, you know, differently from acting, you can cut in acting, even in doing a video, it doesn't have to be one way every time, but you have to find the moment. You have to search to make sure that you understand the character because you're acting live, man.

[A]

Is it really that difficult? Cause when I hear. Honestly, I mean, I'VE never acted in anything my whole life. But, like, when I hear actors talk about.

[E]

But you are good at acting a fool.

[A]

All right, I'm a natural man. But, like, when I hear these actors saying, you have to assume and you have to become the character, it sounds so serious to me. And, like, is that something you really have to do? Or can you just go in there and turn it on and turn it.

[E]

Off, all dependent upon what you. What reason you're doing it for? If it's that serious to you and you take your job that serious, then of course you're gonna go the full extent of what you may. What it may take in order for you to prepare for a role. Some people are method actors, and what that is is when they go so deep in the character that they never. They don't. They don't. They don't step outside of their character, it becomes a part of their personality. It becomes a part of who they are.

[F]

Isn't that what Johnny Depp does, like, with Pirates of the Caribbean or whatever? And he's still a pirate. Even if you're at dinner with him while the movie's shooting, he's still a pirate.

[A]

Russell Crowe is another one. He's notorious. Like, for two years before his role, he just starts talking in, like, some New York accent. If he's going to be in a role where he has to do that, he just never breaks character.

[E]

And there you have it.

[B]

Did you feel like you had something to prove to the rest of that Chicago cast? Because these are all Broadway people that have been doing this a while. Were you, like, the rookie on the. On the team?

[E]

Of course I am. This is. This will be the first musical that I've ever played in, the first time I've ever. I've ever been in a musical, first time I've ever been on Broadway. So, of course, I feel like I have something to prove to myself as well as the other people who have, you know, who've conveyed trust in me playing this role.

[A]

Did they have kind of an attitude with you and let me just draw kind of like a little bit of an analogy.

[E]

Of course not, man.

[A]

They didn't.

[E]

They're totally professional and great professionals, really. So they've, you know, the company that I'm working with, a lot of them have toured with the show, have been working with the company for at least, you know, a minimum of 10 years.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

But I'd always been a fan of Bob Fosse's work, so when I heard the opportunity, you know, had prevented Itself for me to play Billy Flynn, of course I jumped at it.

[A]

Is there any part of entertainment that you would just rather stay away from? Like when they called, was there any part of you that said, eh, I don't think that's anything I want to do.

[E]

Man. I can't find. You know what? No, I mean, I mean, I'm not going to get into porn. That's one. I do a little bit of everything, but I won't do that one.

[A]

There might be videos out there of you.

[B]

We're so disappointed. I can't go on.

[F]

Well, see, now we know where your shortcoming is because, you know, God can't give you everything. And if you're not willing to take your pants off, you know what he. Jordan?

[E]

Nah, not, not gonna happen. But, you know, it's important to make sure that you, you explore every, every opportunity. Like, I mean, as an artist, it will be a natural evolution to go from music to having a label. So I started a label, Usher Records. And you know, as an actor, as a young actor in television, as well as growing up and having the opportunity to be in movies, I said, you know what? It's a natural evolution for me to someday go to Broadway.

[C]

That's.

[A]

I mean, I get, I'm so scared just coming in here some days knowing that there's a bit at 7:15 that's going to cause some problems. So I'm looking at you like it's pretty cool that you'll just tackle all of this stuff and have very little fear with it, that's all.

[B]

And it definitely adds to your credibility as an entertainer to add Broadway to your list, don't you think?

[E]

Ah, of course, of course. And all while enjoying an audience. Enjoying and entertaining an audience.

[A]

I'm curious if it's actually easier for you to live in New York City and kind of escape, like, your star status? Because in New York, you know, there's a whole bunch of actors and actresses that live up there and it's not that big a deal to see like a list celebrities. So is there some comfort in you, like, walking around the streets or people hounding you up there the same way they do like here in Atlanta?

[E]

You know what, man? I've been so, so busy that I don't even get the opportunity to walk the streets.

[A]

Really.

[E]

Yeah, man. In preparation for this, you know, I'm very focused. I'm more focused than I've been my entire career, man, you know, simply because one, I want to physically be, be able to pull this off. Biophysics, choreography, is isolated movement. So it takes a lot of your energy, especially if you. You understand how to hit it and hit it right as well as. You know, I'm playing eight shows a week, so, I mean, you really. That's unheard of. Hello. Can I get a hand clap for that? Y' all tough audience, man, dude.

[A]

I mean, I know nothing about Broadway, so I don't know if eight is a lot, if it's a little nothing.

[E]

Listen, there's a matinee. We perform at 2 o'. Clock. We perform at 2 and also at 8 on Wednesday and Saturday. And for the rest of the week, it's just one show. The only day that we have off is Monday.

[F]

Your mom's been so instrumental in your career and right by your side the whole way. Have you reached the point where she just doesn't tell her friends what you're doing because you, like. You know, their kids are like, hey, you know, like, Jimmy's the manager of three quick trips now. And, oh, yeah, Ushered. Doing eight shows on Broadway every week.

[E]

I think every mother's gonna be excited about, you know, their child's accomplishments in life, you know, no matter whether it's small or big. My mother's always been, you know, very supportive. You know, as a matter of fact, a lot of it is due to her. She's my manager.

[F]

So, you know, how many of those your first week of shows, how many of those is your mom gonna be at and how many people she bring into each one? Cause I imagine they're probably selling a lot of tickets just through your family alone.

[E]

Oh, yeah, man. Through my family alone. Well, my grandmother and my grandfather, they're traveling up to see me do my thing on Broadway. My entire staff, family, and team are gonna come up and show their support. So, yeah, you're right. I might take up the first 10 roles.

[A]

Talking to Usher this morning on the Birch show on all the hits. Q100. What?

[F]

To let your grandma see you perform on Broadway?

[E]

You know what? You know what's amazing? Broadway is something that she always wanted to do. So in a way, I feel like, you know, she would live vicariously through me.

[B]

Definitely. She definitely will. How long are you going to be on Broadway?

[E]

I'm going to be on Broadway from Aug. 22 to Oct. 1 in the musical at the Ambassador. Chicago the Musical.

[A]

Are there even any tickets available for this thing? I would think it would sell out pretty quick.

[E]

The tickets are available as of now.

[A]

Okay. You better get them quick if you're going up to New York City. I Heard you had to make some sacrifices even before you took off, like you were supposed to be in Beyonce's video or something, and you had to turn that down because of this opportunity.

[E]

No, that's not true. When'd you hear that?

[A]

You know, that's the thing about the Internet is you just never know what to believe and never know what to. So at least we gotta run em by you to see if it's true or not.

[F]

I know. No.

[B]

Quick question about the paparazzi and the tabloids and all that kind of stuff. We get to talk to a lot of entertainers and actors and musicians that are. It's just. They feel like. It seems to me that the paparazzi and the tabloids are just out of control. Do you feel like part of it is good for you and part of it is bad for you? And I don't know, what's your take on the whole paparazzi tabloid hysteria going on right now?

[E]

Well, I feel like the world is so busy trying to worry about everybody else's business that they don't pay attention to their own. Or maybe their lives are so boring that they need to find entertainment. So, you know, there's a job for everybody. And, you know, as long as paparazzi is not disrespectful, you know, there's a lot of entertainers that, you know, they want their privacy. And, you know, unfortunately, when you sign up to become an entertainer, you know, anonymity goes out the window. So it's like, you just have to understand. You know, for me, I haven't personally, I haven't gotten so mad that I hate paparazzi. I take pictures. I try to be as courteous as I possibly can to fans when I'm out in public, but they can be a little, you know, evasive sometimes.

[A]

You know, I saw some of this tabloid stuff firsthand with Usher. This was months ago, and it was the Atlanta Peach party, and you were there. I said, hey to you. I saw you there. Pamela Anderson was there also. And I'm watching you guys. I mean, you look like you're having a good time. You're sitting in vip, everybody's drinking together and stuff. And you and Pamela Anderson are shoulder to shoulder, right? I watched the whole thing go down, right. The next morning I wake up and I'm doing some show prep right before we go on the air to see what's going on in the world. And all these tabloids the next morning are Pamela Anderson and Usher hooking up at a party in Atlanta. I was Just there a couple hours ago, there was none of that going on at all.

[E]

Like, are you serious, man?

[F]

Kid Rock is gonna kick your ass.

[E]

But, you know, they gotta figure out a story. You can't believe everything you, you know, can't believe everything you read. Press gotta report the drama, man.

[A]

Right? I guess. You know what? When people do, I think, live vicariously through you, I mean, there are never gonna be celebrities like that. So to live vicariously through you is pretty much all we have.

[E]

Yeah. Well, I'm gonna definitely entertain you. So you guys make sure you come on up here in between August 22 and October 1. Bird, I want you guys to come up here to see the show. Really? I really do. I'm asking you to.

[A]

I got my mom up there in New York City. I'll tell you.

[E]

I'm asking you to come.

[A]

No, I'm saying I'll come up and visit my mom, and I'll come and I'll see the show.

[E]

Cool. All right.

[A]

Totally serious. Do you have some movie stuff going on also? Again, this is all Internet stuff, but, like, the rumors are that you may be doing something with Denzel Washington or Morgan Freeman.

[E]

Yes, there had been conversation about me being a part of a Denzel Washington film. And yes, I had been writing. I've been writing a. A piece with Morgan Freeman. And, you know, I don't know exactly when they're going to be greenlit to go, but they're in the works. There's a lot of things I got going on my label. I got one chance. We just went to radio with their record. Look at a feature of Fabone, which you guys are playing so well. Wow, man. Thank you so much for playing. Matter of fact, can we cut into the record after we get off this phone?

[A]

You know, as soon as we hang up with you, we're going to do it 10 songs in a row. It's all gonna be you.

[E]

I love it. But you guys look out for one chance later.

[A]

The album.

[E]

The album be out a little bit later this year. And Rico, love, that's what I'm doing as it relates to music and giving back to, you know, the fans. There it is right there. And hopefully in the next year, you guys will you hear about something.

[A]

Why don't you do this for me? And music, when the CD comes out, why don't you come in here and we'll play all the cuts if you're in here, and we'll play all the cuts right before it comes out.

[E]

You know what? I'd love to bring One chance up there and do that with you. Okay, that's a bet. You got it.

[A]

You got it.

[F]

What about a tour? Any tour happening anytime soon?

[E]

Actually, they are on the Up Close and Personal tour. It's the Neo and Chris Brown tour. They'll be opening up for them, which is a real big step for them. You know, for me, I'm not touring until I get another album out.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Now, what's this thing that you keep hinting about something big? Because, I mean, you're throwing it out there. That means you want to talk about it.

[E]

Something big. Well, my next album.

[F]

Okay, you got a timeline?

[E]

I'm hoping by 2007.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. You just got your hands in so much stuff. I mean, it seems like, hey, man.

[E]

Entertainment don't stop and it don't quit. The show must go on, man.

[B]

You're so accomplished in your career. Do you feel like that sacrifice is parts of your personal life? Are you as satisfied in your personal life as you are in your career accomplishments?

[E]

You know, to be perfectly honest with you, it takes time. I mean, some people don't find, you know, happiness truly within themselves until later on in their life. I mean, I've learned to love, you know, I've learned to love myself enough to, you know, be patient and, you know, eventually I'll make sure I get it right. You know, don't. Don't jump to it too much until you hear that I was married or something like that. Here I was dating this person or I've been out with this person. Something like that. Don't jump until you hear the rc. That I'm married or something.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What is the. What is the final goal? I mean, you've got your hands in all this. I mean, you're doing so well in so many different areas. Is there a goal for you? A final. Like, this is it.

[E]

Yeah, I can tell you what it is.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

I want a Grammy, Tony, Oscar, Emmy.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

Long award show.

[F]

So that's. So you haven't set any real high goals for yourself.

[A]

Once you win all those, you're gonna back out.

[F]

There it is.

[B]

All right.

[F]

Hey, this is a totally random question, has nothing to do with what we were talking about, but I was thinking about the number. I mean, you've been around for a while now, and you've been on the radio with us a bunch of times, and you've, you know, you've done probably more interviews than you could count. And Bert and I just got back from this convention of radio people.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

And for the most Part all radio people are clowns. What is the worst or stupidest or however you want to phrase it? The worst question you have ever been asked during a radio interview?

[E]

The stupidest question I'd ever been asked during radio. Yeah, you did hit me out of left field.

[F]

I mean, maybe not stupid, like might even. It doesn't have to be like stupidest of all time. I don't know if you have some like grand trophy thing, but like, what's an example of a really bad interview question?

[E]

A really bad interview question? I think the worst interviews are when, you know, you don't really have a rapport or relationship with the, you know, with the host or whatever, you know, and they just kind of invade your privacy. It's no different than talking to some random person, man. But you know, that's probably the worst. I don't know.

[A]

Well, we have history. Yeah, we definitely have history.

[F]

We're friends now.

[E]

We have a good history though.

[A]

We do. It started rough, but we're all right.

[E]

I love you, Bert.

[A]

Now it's all good, dude. Hey, what is it about Atlanta you're missing? I mean, you're obviously gone for weeks at a time. When you're away, is there anything from Atlanta that you crave?

[E]

Yeah, my Porsche gt.

[A]

Aw, you can get that anywhere.

[F]

Aw, nah, man.

[E]

It's one of a kind. I miss it more than anything.

[A]

Is there like one restaurant or South City Kitchen?

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Oh man, I love to go down to the Grape and have some wine. Lenox Mall, of course, or 6 Plaza. Really?

[A]

And our show of course. And of course the Burke show.

[E]

The Burke show.

[F]

We've heard you set your alarm at 5:30 and get up every morning with the 5:30 club.

[A]

You know I do all right. Alright, Usher. Hopefully I'm serious about coming up to New York. My mom lives up there. I'm always looking for an excuse to come up. If I do that, I would love to come check you out in Chicago, man.

[E]

All right, y'. All.

[B]

And we can't say good luck this time. We have to say break a leg.

[E]

Don't you say good luck.

[B]

We have to say break a leg.

[E]

There it is. Break a leg.

[A]

All right, Usher.

[E]

August 22nd to October 1st, you guys come up and check me out in Chicago. The musical at the Ambassador Theater.

[A]

All right. We're gonna actually link over to their website from ours at all the hits.

[E]

Q100.Com and also, Burt, put that one chance look at her featuring Faber on for me, man.

[A]

Dude, why don't you come in here and Play with us.

[E]

No, listen, I'm gonna bring the entire album up there, as I told you, and play all of the music. Gonna have them sing, do some interviews and all that, man.

[A]

You got it. You come in here, it's done.

[F]

He's kind of busy right now working on his Tony. Mr. Hey, funny bit at morning show Boot camp winner, award winner. He's got a bigger, bigger Grammy, Tony.

[A]

Oscar thing going on, right? All right, hold on one sec. For us. All right. All right, good talking to you.

[F]

Get it.

[A]

The Bird Show. If you're listening to the Burt show, about this time yesterday, the Burt show introduced you to Stacy, right?

[F]

Yes. Stacy was at Fidel on Saturday night with a group of people. Among those people, I think, was her sister. And she saw this guy walk through the door. And she, you know, she's like, you know how girls do. But, oh, look at him. You know, he's mine. Yeah. Called dibs. And. But apparently Stacy's got the. Has got the Phil disease, where she doesn't have much game. So she saw him from a distance and registered him as he's mine, but didn't do anything about it until a little while later, her friends were like, he's checking you out. You know, like. And you said earlier that you like him, and now he's checking you out.

[A]

This is it.

[F]

The door's open. Walk right through. Go get you some. And so she went up to him and said, God, you look like somebody I know. Which is a total lie. And so they took a picture together so she could apparently show it to him.

[B]

It was her gimmick to break the ice with him.

[A]

Gotcha. Her opening line.

[B]

Her opening line was, you look exactly like this guy I know from my hometown.

[A]

Please let me take a picture of you so I can share with him.

[B]

And he'll think it's so funny.

[A]

It works great. Icebreaker.

[F]

Well, it's an icebreaker if you have game. Because then when I said, okay, well, what'd you follow that up with? Let's get the details. Let's find out. Where does he work? And she said, I followed it up with nothing. I really have no game. I didn't know what to say, so I thanked him for the picture and walked away.

[A]

So that's all she had yesterday.

[F]

All she had.

[B]

And I think that her sister gave her that.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, literally no game.

[B]

Yeah. Like, here, say this.

[E]

Go.

[B]

You know?

[F]

So her sister emailed us and said, look, you gotta help her, and hopefully this will be easy because we got a picture of the guy but unfortunately, because of Gameless Stacy, we only know that his first name is Byron. And when she said, I think I know you, he said, well, I'm from Tallahassee, Florida. She's like, oh, well, okay. No, I know somebody looks like you. Let's take a picture together.

[A]

This is her words about it yesterday. It's only about a minute of the conversation, but it will get all of us up to speed.

[D]

I was at Fideaux in Buckhead for a friend's birthday and I was just kind of standing around and I noticed a good looking guy walk by. And normally I just look and that's about it. I don't ever think anything's going to happen. And later, he and his group of friends were standing near us and I decided to be a little brazen and make an approach to go hit on him. And I told him that he looked like a friend of mine from back home, which is a complete lie, and asked if I could get a picture with him. But my friends had the camera ready and they'd make some great paparazzi if they lost their day jobs. So after that, my friends took some pictures and we just chatted a little bit. That was about it. And I was a little dumbfounded when no numbers were exchanged.

[B]

So, giving us a description of what.

[D]

He looks like, he's fairly small, he's taller than me, probably about maybe 6, 16 2. Nice build, kind of medium brown hair, good smile, nice scary air.

[F]

We've got his name out there. We know he liked Fideau. And so hopefully somebody who maybe is listening right now is like, okay, all right, Byron. Yeah, I know Byron. Let me check when I get to work. So hopefully Tracy will get an email later today and we'll, we'll track him down and, and you guys can make your babies.

[A]

So yesterday all we had was a picture and a name and that's it. And that's really not a lot to go on. A name in a hometown and a hometown.

[F]

Byron, Tallahassee, Florida. There's his foot, there's his. There's his wanted poster.

[A]

Not a lot. And the pictures have been up online for the last 24 hours. Hey, Stacy. Good morning.

[D]

Good morning.

[A]

How are you?

[D]

I'm okay. How are you?

[A]

I give you credit for your opening line, for sure.

[D]

Thank you. See, I've got a little game.

[A]

Well, somebody gave you that line though, right?

[F]

Who told you to say that?

[B]

Yeah, who's on that?

[D]

I came up with it in my intoxicated mind. Thank you very much.

[B]

We thought for sure your sister Gave that to you?

[D]

She wasn't there. She just has three hobbies, and that's cooking, gardening, and meddling in my life.

[B]

That's awesome.

[E]

Well, normally my brother was there when.

[A]

We do a love lost and found. Normally we'll only select the ones where people have a lot of details so we can pass them on, you know, like where he works or what he does for a living, what kind of car he drives, just so we can give some kind of description to the Birchill listeners. And surely somebody listening is going to go, oh, I know that guy. But with a picture and a name and a city, we weren't real sure we were going to go anywhere with this thing.

[D]

You guys must have really felt sorry for me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty pathetic.

[F]

Well, the picture we put people on like you on to make Phil feel okay about himself.

[D]

Why are you always ripping on him?

[F]

He's just like you.

[D]

Ouch. Okay.

[A]

So we did that. And the picture's been up for 24 hours now. But Jeff has just told me that it turns out that we didn't even need the Birch Hill community for help on this one.

[D]

One by the FBI.

[F]

Well, he's from. He's from Tallahassee, Florida.

[A]

Right?

[F]

And so Jen Hobby just happens to say, let me email one of my friends who is also from Tallahassee, because Tallahassee is a small town.

[B]

I'm. I was like, he's from Tallahassee. My best friend is from Tallahassee. I'm like, she might know him or know of him or she will know someone who knows him. Like, it's just the way that town works, okay? And sure enough, I sent her a text during the show yesterday, and she was like, oh, crap, I'm at the gym. Let me go. You know? So when she got home, she went online, looked at the picture, and sends me a text, and she says, that's my sister's ex boyfriend.

[A]

Get out of here. Are you kidding?

[B]

Yeah, but we actually ended up needing the Birch Hill community's help anyway. And I think Tracy found Byron through one of our listeners anyway, because.

[F]

My.

[B]

Best friend's sister didn't have his phone number, like his new number or whatever. And she just thought it would be weird to go searching for her ex boyfriend, you know, like calling all of her friends for her ex boyfriend's number. She was like, I don't know. That looks weird. So. So all I had was a name. And then when I called producer Tracy last night, she's like, don't worry about it. Already found Him.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So we can tell you we found the guy.

[D]

Okay?

[A]

And we can also tell you that he's on hold right now listening to everything you're saying.

[F]

Okay, hold on. We gotta give her some lines. Like, help me. All right, Stacy, look. Now you gotta try not to pretend that this is a guy that you want to see naked. Instead, pretend that this is, like, pretend you're almost interviewing him for a job, but it's like a casual job, like at the Gap. So, like, what? So you'd be like, so what do you do for a living now? What part of town do you live in? What? You know, like, what do you do in your free time? Like a casual. Like you're sitting in the food court of the mall and you just happen to be one year older. So you're the manager of the store.

[D]

So, like, that's Dairy Queen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's got nothing to lose.

[E]

You're not.

[F]

There's no pressure. You're not trying to marry this guy. You were just trying to see if he can restock the T shirts after the 2 for 1 sell at the gas.

[A]

All right, so get every thought out of your head right now. Touching his private parts.

[F]

All right.

[A]

You want to talk to him?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Byron.

[E]

Hey, how's it going?

[A]

Hey, you're on with Stacy.

[D]

Hi, Byron.

[E]

Hi there.

[D]

How are you doing?

[E]

Pretty good, pretty good. How about you?

[D]

I'm really sorry about. My sister is an animal. And, yeah, she's very adamant about this.

[E]

It's definitely a first for me.

[A]

Byron, did you hear the whole, like, small world story, though, that we got going on here with Jen Hobby?

[E]

I did. That was amazing.

[B]

Isn't that crazy?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, they say hi and say that you are the sweetest, nicest guy ever.

[F]

So, Byron, do you have any experience folding clothes?

[A]

Byron, you remember, you remember Stacy, right?

[E]

I do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

You remember being at Fado's? You weren't so intoxicated where you don't remember it at all.

[E]

It was early in the night, so I definitely remember that as well.

[F]

Were there any impressions like when you. Because obviously you have gone to the website and checked her out and then you remember. Oh, yeah, that girl. So thinking back, do you have any impressions from when you first met her at Fidel? Do you wish it had gone further?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, it was early in the night and my friends sort of rushed me out of there, so I didn't really get an opportunity to hang out. But we definitely had a good time.

[B]

I thought, Byron, are you single?

[E]

I am.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

That's good news.

[A]

It's very good news.

[F]

Do you think Stacy's hot?

[E]

Stacy is hot?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Like a giddy seventh grader.

[F]

Okay, Stacy, don't ever, ever do that.

[A]

Stacy, did you physically just pump your fist in the air?

[D]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

You did, didn't you?

[B]

You were hot until that noise.

[A]

We're not sure what that is, but we'll never ask you that. What exactly it was you just did.

[F]

That was awesome.

[A]

Hey, Byron, before this gets any more uncomfortable, is it okay if we give your phone number to Stacy?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

[F]

Stacy, do you think. Do you think if we give you Byron's number, you'll be able to form a conversation with him?

[D]

Yes, I think I could do that.

[F]

Like, if you say. If you invite him to dinner and he says yes, do you promise not to go?

[D]

Yeah, I will. Change the way I answer. Yeah, I could do that.

[A]

Stacy, is there anything else you want to ask Byron before you guys move on?

[D]

I can't think of anything right now. This is really overwhelming.

[A]

Yeah, you kind of. It's one of those things, I think, where you call up and you're sure that we're never really going to find the guy, so.

[F]

Well, obviously. Obviously. You said, Stacy, like when you walked into the bar, you noticed him, right? So you find him attractive. You get the endorsement from his ex girlfriend who happens to be a friend of Jen Hobbies, who says he's really sweet. So, yeah, they.

[B]

See. I mean, yeah, my best friend and her sisters both just think that you're the sweetest guy ever and so cute and so nice. Couldn't meet a better sweet soul.

[F]

Obviously, during the, you know, he'd said nothing to offend you or do anything weird when you guys were together.

[D]

No, you didn't yell or scream like I did bar.

[F]

So what, like, what do you want for your future? Like how many kids and stuff?

[B]

She's like, just a date that I can get through with. A simple conversation would be good.

[D]

Yes, that would be perfect. Yeah.

[A]

Byron, so you have no girlfriend and you're not seeing anybody seriously at all, you're open to dating?

[E]

I'm open to dating. But, you know, I guess to say I'd probably start with a phone conversation or two, you know, considering last time we met, I guess I ended up on the Internet there.

[A]

Well, you certainly have an icebreaker. If you've got nothing else, you have 10 minutes of ice breaking with this conversation. All right, you guys, what we'll do is we'll put you both on hold and Byron has already said that it's totally cool if we exchange phone numbers, so we'll do that. Okay.

[D]

All right.

[F]

Do you want to tell him you love him?

[D]

Stacey, I'm not ready for that yet.

[B]

Just be careful about calling him too much because then he might program your phone number into his phone as weird Burt show chick.

[D]

Wow, that's probably great.

[A]

All right, you guys, hold on. Okay?

[D]

Hey, thanks.

[A]

Hey, Byron. Hold on one sec.

[E]

Thanks, Byron.

[F]

All right, so we totally. We gotta follow up with her at this time next week.

[A]

She sounds really cool. She sounds like a sweetheart.

[F]

We gotta give her seven days because that was funny.

[A]

Any of the girls thinking, oh, what a cool story to tell when they have kids and they get married and, oh, how they met. Oh, it was the story of destiny.

[B]

No, I think he's already. No, I didn't think so. I think he's probably already a little bit on edge because his picture was up online.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay, well, we'll take it down. It's over. Like, the picture's down and now she can work it out. I think maybe he might have been weirded out when she cried out when.

[A]

He said that she was attracted. Like, that should be like she just scored the winning touchdown with three seconds left in the Super Bowl.

[F]

He thinks I'm high. Oh, I'm going to be mine.

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