Full Show PT 3: Monday, November 17

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, November 17, 2025

Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode: Full Show PT 3
Date: November 17, 2025
Hosts & Cast: Burt, Jen Fallon (and various co-hosts), plus live listener call-ins

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Episode Overview

This episode, true to The Bert Show’s signature mix of humor and authenticity, explores the candid realities of relationships—from the lengths people go to date attractive partners, to frank parental conversations about teen sex, and finally, a hilariously cringe-inducing round of "Sex-Related Injury Poker" that showcases listeners’ wildest (and most painful) mishaps in the bedroom.

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Key Segments and Insights

1. Guys Putting Up With Anything For a Hot Girlfriend

[01:33–13:35]

• Main Theme: Burt and the team tackle an age-old dating cliché: men tolerating outrageous behavior or inconveniences purely because their partner is exceptionally attractive.
• Calls & Confessions:
  • Andrew ([02:12]): Admits he’s engaged to a “hot” woman and often goes along with demands he wouldn’t entertain otherwise—like immediately upgrading apartments.

    “Despite the fact that I gotta, you know, suck it up sometimes and say yes to her, you know, I don’t mind… I know I’m in a better place than a lot of my friends, really.” — Andrew, [03:04]

  • John ([06:07]): Regularly sacrifices sleep to pick up his bartender girlfriend at 4:30am, despite needing to work early.

    “If you weren’t… it almost gets aggravating. It’s almost like clockwork. I know at least every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I’m gonna get up at 4:30 in the morning to pick her butt up.” — John, [07:01]

  • Josh ([09:26]): Does everything for his girlfriend, but he has to “pull teeth” to get his needs met—she resembles Tara Reid, which makes it worthwhile for him, for now.
  • David ([10:27]): Willingly shaved his entire pubic area on request, because his girlfriend was that attractive—but ultimately reached his limit when her partying and boundaries crossed the line.
• Host & Co-Host Commentary:
  • The hosts discuss the struggle between attraction, "bragging rights," and self-respect, noting the unhealthy lengths some will go to prolong these fleeting relationships.
  • The effect is summarized:

    “You just know. It’s, you know, it’s like great bragging rights… You feel better about yourself. You’ve got one up on your friends. She’s hot.” — Burt, [07:55]

Notable Quote:

“You will sacrifice every ounce of who you are if she’s that hot, I mean every fiber in your body.” — Burt, [05:43]

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2. Open Parenting and Teens & Sex: Where's the Line?

[13:35–24:44]

• Caller "Lisa" ([13:35]): A mother struggling with her senior daughter's post-breakup sexual activity seeks feedback on her approach: open communication and acceptance, as opposed to strict prohibition.
  • Lisa openly shares she’s aware her daughter is sexually active post-breakup but believes an open dialogue and trust will lead to responsible behavior.

    “I have taught both my kids from the time they had sex education in fifth grade that it’s a very special thing, and… we talked about it a lot.” — Lisa, [15:54]

• Host Support: The hosts (and multiple callers) validate Lisa's approach, reinforcing the value of transparency and trust in parent-teen relationships.
• Additional Callers:
  • Melissa, 20 ([19:01]): Credits her open relationship with her mom for making wise choices and responsible sexual behavior.
  • Kristen, 24 ([20:29]): Shares a similar story—her mother’s openness fostered honesty and safe decision-making.
  • Larry, a stepfather ([22:19]): Suggests involving kids’ significant others in family discussions and being honest about parent emotions, even if sometimes disappointed.
• Parenting Insight:
  • The consensus: strictness often backfires, while freedom paired with trust and honest conversations prevents recklessness.

    “I have noticed that the tighter the strings are on the child, the more promiscuous they are.” — Lisa, [20:02]

Notable Quote:

“You may be the first listener to ever leave the Bert Show feeling good about themselves!” — Burt, [24:33]

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3. Sex-Related Injury Poker: Candid, Painful, and Outrageously Funny

[25:18–40:25]

• Premise: The segment, led by Burt and Jen, invites listeners and hosts to outdo each other by sharing their most memorable "SRIs" (Sex Related Injuries).
• Hosts’ Stories:
  • Jen: “Nip-rip” (a torn nipple during passionate play, only noticed later in the shower).

    “I noticed it in the shower afterwards when the water was running down and it was stinging.” — Jen, [26:41]

• Listener Highlights:
  • Scott: “Brokeback penis” ([28:03])—suffered a penile fracture during aggressive sex.

    “It broke about 2 inches from the base… then filled up with blood blister. Still today, I have a bend in that same exact spot.” — Scott, [28:30]

  • Debbie: “The Redneck Rip” ([30:03])—her husband’s deer-head necklace hooked her nose and tore it during sex.

    “The antler grabbed my nose and ripped my nose. Very painful, very painful.” — Debbie, [30:19]

  • Steven: “Canine Cut” ([31:00])—bitten by a girlfriend’s dog during an intimate moment.
  • Eddie: Suffered a severe injury after his wife whipped a wet towel at his genitals in the shower, leading to months of recovery.

    “The weight of the wet towel tore some muscles down there and put me out of action for about six months.” — Eddie, [33:57]

  • Jamie: “Aunt Jemima Scar” ([35:45])—badly burned by overheated Hershey syrup during a misguided romantic gesture.

    “He grabbed the Hershey syrup…thought he’d warm it up… it came out into a big gush and burnt my whole stomach.” — Jamie, [36:23]

  • Sean: “Barbell Accident” ([36:54])—his tongue ring got tangled with his girlfriend’s genital piercing, forcing an awkward extraction.

    “The barbell of mine bars into hers… I had to remove it right there. So, needless to say, the mood was killed severely.” — Sean, [37:18]

  • Stephanie: Most dramatic—broke her neck after being thrown onto a windowsill during climax, wore a halo for six months but fully recovered.

    “He literally climaxed so hard that he threw me off and I landed backwards, neck first, on the windowsill… Broke my neck.” — Stephanie, [39:19]

Memorable Moment:

“If I ever adopt a basset hound, I would name him Nip. That seems like a good name for a dog. Like a basset hound.” — Jen, [27:05]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “You will sacrifice every ounce of who you are if she's that hot.”
  — Burt, [05:43]
• “Actually I try to play it off… because I feel sure that if I tell them exactly what's going on they're going to be like, get out.”
  — John (caller), [07:21]
• “I have noticed that the tighter the strings are on the child, the more promiscuous they are.”
  — Lisa (caller), [20:02]
• “I noticed it in the shower afterwards when the water was running down and it was stinging.”
  — Jen, [26:41]
• “It broke about 2 inches from the base where it broke, bent, and then filled up with blood blister… still today, I have a bend in that same exact spot.”
  — Scott (caller), [28:30]
• “He literally climaxed so hard that he threw me off and I landed backwards, neck first, on the windowsill. Broke my neck.”
  — Stephanie (caller), [39:19]

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment Description | Timestamps | |----------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Guys tolerate anything for a hot girlfriend | 01:33–13:35 | | Parenting & open discussion about teenage sex | 13:35–24:44 | | Sex-Related Injury Poker (SRI Poker) | 25:18–40:25 |

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Tone & Style

The episode is light-hearted, irreverent, honest, and at times outrageous. The hosts and callers are open and self-deprecating, laughing at their own expense. Discussions of relationships and sexuality are frank but not crude, maintaining the show’s trademark blend of humor and relatability.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

If you missed this episode, expect classic Bert Show banter: confessions about dating dynamics that are painfully relatable, an insightful conversation on how to parent teens without shame or secrecy, and a raunchy—but never mean-spirited—round of “SRI poker” that will have you wincing and laughing all at once. Real people, real stories, and a lot of honesty—and, as always, plenty of reasons to laugh at ourselves.

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Transcript

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[Host (Burt)]

The first show so far, Only one guy willing to be totally honest. We ask women for honesty. Phone lines light up. You ask guys for honesty. They're like, I'm gonna call them a radio station. I'm not gonna call myself out. But the truth of the matter is, if you're a guy and you're single, there have been times where you have been in a relationship with a woman. You know it's never gonna work out, but she's so hot and it's like bragging rights around your friend that she will put you through the ringer and you don't care because she's Just so hot. It's gonna. It's not gonna last forever. Eventually, you're gonna get sick of it. But until then, it's really nice to have her on your arm. That's just the way it is. That's how guys work. Andrew's one of these guys. Hey, Andrew.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Hey. How's it going?

[Host (Burt)]

What's up, man?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Well, just driving to work in this crappy weather like y' all have been talking about.

[Host (Burt)]

Boy, it's really bad for y' all this morning, huh?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I'm in South Georgia, going to Griffin right now, and it's crap.

[Host (Burt)]

Sorry. Thanks for calling, though.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Hey, no problem. I mean, I got. I gotta be honest. I mean, I don't care if I'm the only caller or what, but every other guy out there is probably doing the same thing right now or it's been in the same position.

[Host (Burt)]

I know, man. What is she. What kind of hoops does she make you go through?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Well, you know, I'm one of those guys who, you know, it's probably like your friend down in. In Florida there who, you know, thinks he can put up, you know, put up to the woman and step up to the plate and say, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. But in the end, I mean, you know where you're going for that. You know, for that loving. And she's gonna, you know, she's just too high. I can't say no.

[Host (Burt)]

So you. Now, is this gonna last forever? Is this a woman you want to be with? Are you just, like, riding it out until it's over?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Well, you know, we're engaged right now, and I, you know, she's the. She's the best woman I've ever been with, and I love her to death. And, you know, despite the fact that I gotta, you know, suck it up sometimes and say yes to her, you know, I don't mind it because I know I'm in a better place than a lot of my friends, really. So I want to.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I want a specific situation where you in your mind knew. You know, what? If I. If this was anybody else, I would never do this. But you were.

[Host (Burt)]

She wasn't so hot.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Yeah.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Well, I'll give you the situation right now is that, you know, I just started a new job down here in Atlanta, and, you know, I had to move into a new place. And I was just thinking about something temporary until we got married, and after that, we'd move into something bigger. But she's like, no, no, we gotta do that. We gotta do it right Now I want my own bathroom. I want. I want two bedrooms. I want this. I want that. And I'm just going hunt. You know, Honey, we don't need that right now. You know, I'm only gonna be here for a couple of months, and then after that, we'll move once we get married. And, yeah, that definitely didn't stand with her.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

She's not having it.

[Host (Burt)]

And she's so hot that you don't even really put up a big fight.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Exactly. I mean. I mean, my friends are all the same way. I mean, they're all like, dude, you know, you're such a, you know, pushover. You're such a, you know, you got no balls and that kind of stuff. But they're all like, I do the same thing.

[Host (Burt)]

For a while there, when you tell your guys, like, when the relationship is new, if she is really that hot, you know, if you start to tell your guys what's going on in the relationship and how it's getting crappy, they'll be like, shut up. I mean, shut up. Look how hot she is. Yeah, just shut up and put up with it, dude. But then after a while.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Exactly like that. In the beginning, I mean, all the guys were like, oh, dude, man, whatever. Hey, if she wants to eat chicken instead of steak, hey, man, no problem. You know, go out and get a bottle of Franzi or whatever.

[Host (Burt)]

But they break with you. Your friends break the same time you do.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Exactly.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Jessica would tell this story better than I can, but there was this girl when Jessica and I were just friends, when I lived in Arizona, first moved there, Jessica and I were friends. And there was this girl that, for whatever reason, her name was Jody, and I was into her. And looking back on it, she wasn't even that hot. But at the time, I thought she was it. And we went on one of those radio broadcast trips to the Disney World in California, and she. Or Disneyland, I guess. And she came along and we went on the water slide. What's it called? Thunder Mountain? No, that's a roller Splash mountain. Right, The Disneyland version of that. And on the way back to the hotel, she passed a hairdresser and said, hey, could I run in there and get my hair blown out and set? Uh, and I said, no problem.

[Host (Burt)]

Of course not. She's hot.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Pulled the rental car over. I probably went window shopping while she went in there and did that. And I'm like, what was I thinking? Your hair got a little wet on it. Like, I don't date women like that. But with her, I was like, yeah, no problem.

[Host (Burt)]

Will sacrifice every ounce of who you are if she's that hot, I mean every fiber in your body.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Sure, yeah, I think it's cool that we go to an amusement park. Then you have to have your hair professionally done. That's cool. No, that's how hot you are.

[Host (Burt)]

That's why, that's why I love you.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Because you're so hot when you get your hair done. Money wasting.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey John. What's going on?

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

John?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Hey, good morning. What's going on?

[Host (Burt)]

You're here too, huh?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

What's that?

[Host (Burt)]

You're here too. She's so hot. You'll just be. You're willing to put up with anything, man.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I tell you what, sometimes you just have to kind of suck it up and take one from the team, right? So my girlfriend now she's a bartender and so you know, she normally gives off about one o' clock and it's always, oh well, you know, I'll be home like around 1:32, somewhere around in there. Well, 4, 4:30 rolls around, I'm getting a phone call, hey, can you come pick me up? You know, she had a, she had a couple of extras at the bar and stuff like that. And I normally have to be at work at 6 o' clock in the morning, so I'm normally in bed no, you know, no later than midnight. So of course she comes up and she's all half snucker and all that kind of stuff and it's just like, you know, if you weren't, you know, it almost gets aggravating. It's almost like clockwork. I know at least every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I'm gonna get up at 4:30 in the morning to go pick her butt up.

[Host (Burt)]

But she's so hot.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah, you know, like I said, you've got to suck it up. Take one for the team.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Now when you're at work the next day and you're half dragging and you're you taking a nap during your lunch rather than going out with everybody, do they all like, are they like, okay, we get it or are they the point where they're telling you, come on, dude.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Actually, actually I try to play it off. I kind of, oh, you know, I have a headache or you know, I didn't sleep good last night or something like that, you know, because I feel sure that if I tell them exactly what's going on they're going to be like, get out.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, you start to break. But I mean you can ride it out for a long time depending on how hot she is and There's. I'm sure that one of these government studies should probably come out. Right. That will make. There will be a direct correlation of the time you will spend in the relationship to how hot she is until your breaking point. Until your breaking point. Yeah.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Do you guys do that? Because hot girls make you feel better about yourself?

[Host (Burt)]

You just know. It's, you know, it's like great bragging rights. It's like, yeah, you feel better about yourself. You've got one up on your friends. She's hot.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Just hot.

[Host (Burt)]

Just going to take any kind of crap you want because you're hot.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

It's not the way that you feel about her, but it's the way she makes you feel.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

It's not even something you make you feel like crap. Yeah.

[Host (Burt)]

It's like publicly you look great while she's on your arm.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

It's not a conscious.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Reputation is improved.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

It's not a conscious equation where it's like, oh, she's so hot. So I'm gonna put up with this. It's like, like Bert said earlier when he was talking about Kevin, guys have like the short term memory thing going. So here's the deal. Like she, she calls him up at 2 in the morning to come pick him up at the bar. Pick her up at the bar. You know the last guy we were talking to? So he gets out of bed and he's all mad and he' what the hell? It's two in the morning. Why can't you take a taxi? This is crap. And then he drives to the bar and she still looks good even though she's half drunk and she's been working for six hours. And he completely forgets that he was mad.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

He's like, you're pretty.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

So then she gets in the car and they go home. He wakes up the next morning, alarm goes off. And the next, the whole day at work he's dragging. He's like, what the hell? I am never gonna pick her up at 2. She can get a ride with somebody.

[Host (Burt)]

That she works with.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

This is crap. And then she goes home and you're.

[Host (Burt)]

Pretty sure this wash of calm comes over you when she walks through the door. It's like, damn, that's mine. You can do anything you want right now. Hey, Josh. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Hey, what's going on?

[Host (Burt)]

You there too, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, tell us about it. Josh is a good example. He's probably miserable on the inside 23 hours out of the day, but the one hour he gets to hang with Her. And look at her. He's like in heaven.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Right?

[Host (Burt)]

Is that where you're at?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Somewhat. Not to that extent quite, but pretty.

[Host (Burt)]

Much catering to her every need. Oh, yeah.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I mean, whatever she needs, you know, it's like I'm there for. I'm always doing it. But then when I'm trying to get something, you know, it's always like pulling teeth.

[Host (Burt)]

What celebrity does she most look like?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Oh, goodness. Tara Reid.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, man, you do a lot for Tara Reid for a while. A lot for Tara Reid for a while.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Maybe former Terror Reid.

[Host (Burt)]

Right.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

When she was hot, sober Tara Reid.

[Host (Burt)]

Right. I applaud you, Josh. Ride it out. But. But it's like a wave, man. Eventually it's gonna crash around you, but ride it while it's good, bud. David, the girl that you're going out with is so hot. So hot. You sacrificed. What?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Oh, she come in one evening and said, honey, I need for you to do something. And I said, what? And she whipped out some shaving cream and a razor. And I go, what's this for? And she goes, you need to shave down there. I was like, okay, so I. I gave it up for the team there, buddy.

[Host (Burt)]

Of course you did. Of course you did.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

She was hot, I'm telling you.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Did you, did you do it like in the shape of a little Playboy bunny or a heart? No, she.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

All the way.

[Host (Burt)]

All the way.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Really?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

All the way.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

So wait, did she make you shave her or were you manscaping?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Manscaping.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah. So he shaved everything down there bald.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

You still with her?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

No. The real deal breaker is when she calls me at 2 o' clock in the morning. She's at a bar, totally plastered and three guys are hanging off of her. And I was like, I'm done.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, I'm just.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

That was a deal breaker there, you know, I can only go so far.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Bright side, there's three more well groomed men in Atlanta.

[Host (Burt)]

The first show.

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[Host (Burt)]

Did I talk too much?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Can't I just let it go?

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Wish I would stop?

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[Host (Burt)]

All right, virtual listener. We are going to call her Lisa. Interesting take on her teenage case. She's actually all right with her daughter, I think, having sex. Okay, it's going to happen. Maybe it's her attitude, but where do you draw the line? Because she certainly doesn't want her daughter to become a slut, Right? Good morning, Lisa.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Good morning.

[Host (Burt)]

Am I accurate in saying that?

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Pretty much.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

I feel pretty confident that she's not going to turn into a slut, but I just wanted to get some feedback from somebody else.

[Host (Burt)]

Okay, so you're real. I'm not exactly sure what the focus of your call is. Is it just to get advice from other people?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Actually, originally I was. I was getting in touch with you because she told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. They were extremely serious, like 24 hours a day. They were together over the summer, and all of a sudden she announced that they broke up because they both decided they didn't want to be too serious. But the next night, she went to see him. Then they were on the phone constantly. And my question originally was, does that mean, you know, she kept saying, they're still friends, they're just friends, but are they still sleeping together? But then over the weekend, I found out they were. So, you know, that's kind of a moot point.

[Host (Burt)]

Now she is how old?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

She is a senior in high school.

[Host (Burt)]

And the fact that she's having sex as a senior in high school, that's not bothering you?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Well, you know, I'm sure I'm gonna get a lot of parents that say that I'm nuts, but I would prefer she not. And I have a son that I feel the same way about. But I also know that most kids lose their virginity, you know, 14, 15, 16 years old. Anyway.

[Host (Burt)]

Don't tell me that.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

No, I'm serious. And I'll tell you as a parent, as a parent, if you don't think your kids are doing things, you're crazy. I hear so many wild stories. I know about kids. They sneak out of the house, you know, just like Jen was talking.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Now they probably Jimmy the alarm.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Creative. My daughter was, she was going over and spending the night with her boyfriend when his mother was out of town. And I knew it, but she wouldn't admit it. So I drove over to his house at 4 o' clock in the morning and her car was in his driveway. And so I left a note in the car for her. So she was busted. And what she was doing was going over to. She would tell me she was going to stay with girlfriend and then when the girlfriend's parents went to sleep, she was sneaking out of the basement and going over to his house. And then she would come back early in the morning and nobody knew it.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Now is the only person that you know of her having activity with is this guy?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Yes. And that's what I talked to her about after I found out they were still together. I said, you know, it's one thing to have a serious relationship. And I've always, I've taught both my kids from the time they had sex education in fifth grade that it's a very special thing. And we talked about it a lot.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

We do.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

And so, yeah, I mean, I had a really, really good relationship with both of them when I thought they were going to start to be sexually active. You know, we had the condom and that kind of discussion and they're, you know, they're both good kids. My son is in a, he's in a relationship with a girl that they've been serious with each other for three years now. And my daughter was in. Her first relationship lasted almost two years. So but now with this, now with this thing with we're friends, but we're sleeping together. I'm just not real sure about that.

[Host (Burt)]

All right, let me try to get you some advice here. 404-741-1005 I have some questions about your daughter's relationship.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Do they exchange the L word? Do they say that they like each other?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Yeah, I'll tell you what, kids, even today, I also, I have access to their Facebook and their MySpace account, so I monitor that as well. And everybody tells each other they love each other these days. It is so cute.

[Host (Burt)]

You certainly don't sound like an irresponsible parent. You have made a decision.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

No, no, no, I'm not.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

No, no, not at all.

[Host (Burt)]

And I mean there are gonna be some that are gonna call up and judge you for the. But this is a decision that you've made. It's working for your family. You're just trying to get a line of definition here.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Well, this is a funny story. My daughter woke me up at 3 o' clock in the morning about a year and a half, two years ago and she wanted to know if she could go pick up her, her best guy friend was dating a girl and the parents of the girl did not allow them to see each other. So they were sneaking out after the parents went to bed and his car broke down at 3 o' clock in the morning. So she asked me if she could go pick them up and, and take him home. So she said, you know, he would do the same thing for me. So I said okay. So she went and picked him up and took him home. So the next day, next time I saw the kid, I said, I said, how did you get away with your car? Was in the driver when your parents went to bed and it was gone when they got up in the morning and he said, oh, I told them so and so came over and had to borrow it last night.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

People pulling the wool over there. Their parents eyes. I just wonder if your daughter and her boyfriend broke up because he wanted to and not because she wanted to.

[Host (Burt)]

Why does that matter?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

I, I think it's the other way around. I, I, what He, this boy was over at the house prior to them dating. He was here a lot. And I could tell over the, you know, the, maybe the four weeks before they started dating, he was following her around the house like a little puppy dog. It was just so, and she kept saying, well, we're just friends, we're just friends. So I think, although she says it was a mutual agreement, I think it was more her not wanting to get in such a serious relationship after the one she just broke up with.

[Host (Burt)]

Just quickly, Jen, I'm curious on why that was an important question for you.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Well, because to me, if he broke up with her, but she wanted to get him back, she would be still sleeping with him to get him back.

[Host (Burt)]

So using it as a tool to.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Using it as a tool to hold onto him, to make him love her so their relationship would last longer. But if she's in control of the relationship, it was her decision to break up or a mutual decision. It doesn't make any sense to me why she would still be having sex with him.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey, Melissa. Good.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

She's definitely in control.

[Host (Burt)]

Melissa, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Hi.

[Host (Burt)]

Hi.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

I was just calling to say that I am 20 years old and my mom found out that I was having sex when I was 17. And we've always had a very open relationship and she said it was okay. She talked to me about it. She made me go get birth controls and they talked to me about it. And I think the best thing is have a very open relationship with your daughter. Because my parents always gave me a lot of freedom and I've been very responsible. And my friends, they don't have a lot of freedom and they've gotten in trouble. They've had sex with a lot of guys and I've only had sex with one boy. And I think it's just the relationship you have between your mom and if you keep it very open that I think everything will be okay and she won't become a slight.

[Host (Burt)]

Is there anything that you want to ask her? I mean, you have, you know, a 20 year old on the phone right now. Lisa, that was. It wasn't so long ago she was a teenager that you might be able to get some insight.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Well, it sounds like she's confirming kind of what I'm saying, which I appreciate.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

No, I think that's great.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

And I agree with what you said. I have noticed that the tighter the strings are on the child, the more promiscuous they are. And then when they go away to college, I would rather screw up when they're still living with me than to screw up when, you know, my parents.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Said they'd rather us like screw up with them. That they. On the same page you are.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Keep, keep the whores at home.

[Host (Burt)]

Because I think what they're teaching parents, that's my mantra.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Yep.

[Host (Burt)]

Good morning, Kristen. You're.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Nothing's worse than a slut on the road.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Hi, I'm 24. I just heard the last caller and I, I'm in this, you know, was in the same predicament when I was in high school. I wasn't. Had a boyfriend from the time I was a sophomore. And, you know, when I was a senior, we decided we were gonna go all the way and I, you know, my mom was always the same Way. She just always told me, ever since I was little, you know, of course she wanted me to not have sex till I got married, but she knew the reality of that, you know, maybe not happening in this day and age. And so she just always told me to be really open with her. And so, you know, when it happened, I told her and we went to the doctor and I got on birth control. And I mean, I know a lot of people like this girl at go to college. They lived really sheltered lives. And I had some friends that went absolutely nuts in college and, you know, were just drinking heavily, going out, you know, doing stupid things. Of course, alcohol kind of impairs your judgment. So I think that she's definitely doing the right thing. And as far as, you know, her daughter still doing it with the boy, even though they're broken up, I think that's just immaturity, kind of. I mean, I know that my boyfriend and I, we'd been together for two and a half years, broke up, and it kind of continued after that. And it's just the, you know, kind of being immature, and you miss that sort of, you know, that's your interpretation of love kind of relationship. So, you know, I think that she'll get over it and, you know, eventually maybe someone else will come along, whatever, but you just have to reinforce her just to make smart decisions and keep you in the loop, because you're, you know, if you have that open line of communication, then you're always going to be there to help her, you know, guide her through the sticky situations.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey, Lisa. It may be by the time we're done taking these calls and we only have time for, like, one or two more, you just may get confirmation on the way that you're actually dealing with things. It's going to feel pretty good also, right?

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

That's right.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Which would be fascinating because that never. There's never a consensus.

[Host (Burt)]

Larry has a bit of a different take on it also, or another suggestion. Hey, Larry.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Hey. How you doing?

[Host (Burt)]

Good, man.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I'm a. I'm actually a step parent, and my boys are. I'm only 34, but my boys are 17 and 20, and they both have gone through the having sex thing, and I was just quite the opposite of that when I grew up. And so they. They kind of talk to me about it and think that I'm more than perfect, but at the same time, they have opened up and said, you know, we have gone through this, and I think one of the things my wife and I do is we're very similar. To you, where we can talk to our kids about what they've done and having sex, but we also like to talk with their girlfriends, and we like to involve them into our family. And when you have a problem or something happening like this, it's nice to get them involved and talk to them and find out what their take is and be blunt with them. You'd be amazed at how well and how perceptive they are to just come in and talk to you about, wow. They're shocked at first, but then they kind of open up and say, well, you know, we're using protection or we're just friends. And I think that it's really good to involve them. And I also think that it's very good for you to say, you know what? I understand that you're doing this, but I'm also. Maybe I'm disappointed. And I think it's okay for our kids to know that we're disappointed in some of the. The things that they choose to do, even though they make those decisions. I think it's really good that they know that.

[Host (Burt)]

Thanks, Laura.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Lisa, first, I commend you for being such a great parent. But also, you know, sex is not just mechanical. It's emotional. And I think that's one thing we have. It could just simply be. She's learning the lesson that even when couples break up, even as adults, you know this. That you break up as an adult, you may still be physically active because you just can't quite let it go yet. And so I have. I mean, I'm not nervous at all hearing that she's spending all this time and doing all this with one guy that, you know, that's just. I think she's going through the whole breaking up process. Even. Even if she's in control, she's still a girl, and she still has emotions, and it may be hard for her to be letting him go.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, Lisa, we're gonna drop off here, because at this point, everybody's saying the same thing. And you may be the first listener to ever leave the Bird show feeling good about themselves.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

I'm sorry about your dog.

[Host (Burt)]

Oh, thank you. I appreciate it.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

All right, thanks a lot.

[Host (Burt)]

Thank you.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Hang in there. Keep talking about it. I started the Rudy clap, and then.

[Host (Burt)]

She brought up the dog, and that brought her to him. But most are calling up, just saying, you know what? She's handling everything right. But even when you handle things correctly, here's a tie into the dog thing. Like when you. Even when. Sometimes when you know you're doing the right thing. Just to hear other people confirming it, it makes you more confident in your decision. All right, Lisa, thank you for calling. Appreciate it. Bye now.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

All right, bye.

[Host (Burt)]

Get it the bird show.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

So I recently had an sri. That would be a sex related injury.

[Host (Burt)]

This isn't the first.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Yeah, this is your second one that we know of. That you know of. I think the last one was some sort of knee injury or whatever. I can't really get into it too far, but this one is going to make. Y' all grab yourselves. Okay, are you ready for this one?

[Host (Burt)]

Don't do this.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Come on.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Are you ready for this one?

[Host (Burt)]

Don't.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I'm not gonna tell you because I'm married and nobody wants to hear about married people sex. I mean, it's just not hot, you know, if you're single and talking about it, it's a different story than I think when you're married and talking about it. So I'm married. I've been married for three years. Over three years. We're doing fine in all that department. We're still really having a good time together. But nobody wants to hear about that.

[Host (Burt)]

Well, I wanna play a round of SRI poker then. Okay. So you will dole out the firsthand of your sexually sex related injury.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Sri.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Sri.

[Host (Burt)]

And then others will have to call up and top this story. Okay, well, none of us have heard this story, so we don't even. We have no idea what our first hand of poker is gonna be.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Okay, I won't tell you how it happened, but I had a nipple rip.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Oh.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

No.

[Host (Burt)]

Oh, no. Those clams from Love Shack are.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

It had nothing to do with anything outside of passion. But I'm telling you, I didn't even notice it when it happened.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Come on.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I noticed it in the shower afterwards when the water was running down and it was stinging.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Not cool.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

It was tiny. But it was a rip on your nipple.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Stop saying nipple and rip in the same sentence.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

A nip rip.

[Host (Burt)]

404-741-1005 who can beat nip rip?

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, God. It was pretty bad, but I didn't even notice it when it actually happened.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

If I ever adop basset hound, I would name him Nip. That seems like a good name for a dog. Like a basset hound.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Yeah. Damn, dude.

[Host (Burt)]

And you didn't even realize. Well, I guess everything's getting kind of like you're so focused on what's going on.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Hey, Ryan, is my nipple in there?

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I'm in the shower and I can't find. Wasn't that bad. It was you know, it was tiny, but it. I mean, that's a sensitive area. You know, I was just worried about other things like a paper cut, what's happening or whatever. But I told him I actually thought it was hot that we've been together for so long, and we actually still are, you know, injuring each other. Injuring each other. And, you know, at least for, you know.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Yeah, that's great, you know, great story. Thanks for sharing.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I told y' all you'd grab yourself. Melissa hadn't let go ahead and let go. These. These are important to.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Melissa had let go of yours.

[Host (Burt)]

I am going to try to name these before we actually put them on the air. When I see the.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

What.

[Host (Burt)]

Exactly what it is.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Okay.

[Host (Burt)]

Yours was the nip rip.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Yep.

[Host (Burt)]

This is broke back penis. Oh, no. Hey, Scott.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Good Morning.

[Host (Burt)]

You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Good morning, Bird Show.

[Host (Burt)]

Hello, sir. What happened?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Well, okay, this is. Well, I had a girlfriend at the time who was very aggressive, and she liked to be on top. Well, as she was getting more and more into it, she pulled up too high, but still slammed down.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Oh.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Ow.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

And my penis from when I went to the hospital, it apparently happens more than one time a month or whatever. It broke about 2 inches from the base where it broke, bent, and then filled up with blood blister.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Okay.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

All right.

[Host (Burt)]

We've got it.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

We've got it.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

We blast it with. Which stayed there for over six months. Still today, I have a bend in that same exact spot, and I'll never, ever heal because there's no way to fix it.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I'm grabbing something I don't even have.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Wow.

[Host (Burt)]

So that can happen. I mean, like, you can break it in that situation.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah, it's like. It's like if you break a finger and then the heel never heals properly.

[Host (Burt)]

Yes.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

And it's bent. Stop talking. And it's that way. And it causes problems if I'm in that same position. Position again.

[Host (Burt)]

Really?

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Sure. And you have to stand at a right angle to the toilet to use.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

I just.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I just hold my hands up in front of my face.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Okay.

[Host (Burt)]

I would think, like, the. The next time you were in that situation, you were a little bit like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, where you were just a little bit scared to drive the. You know, to fly the plane to get back in the cockpit.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

I keep my hands.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I keep my hands on the thighs to keep it from going too high.

[Host (Burt)]

Oh, damn.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Poor thing. Oh, I am sorry.

[Host (Burt)]

That will be a tough, tough hand to beat right there.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

The poor thing. Literally.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Both of them.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Poor little thing.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Poor little thing.

[Host (Burt)]

All right. How about the necklace? Nose? Hey, Debbie.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Hi.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I'm curious. About what the necklace. What is that?

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Well, my husband wears a. His necklace has a buck deer head on it and he was on top one day and when he was, he raised up and the antler grabbed my.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Nose and ripped my nose.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Very painful. Very painful.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I'm sorry to laugh, but that's okay.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

That is great.

[Host (Burt)]

I need a better description of this chain.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Of the what?

[Host (Burt)]

Of the necklace.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

It's just a deer head ant. He's really into hunting and it's a deer head with antlers.

[Host (Burt)]

So he's got all the antlers and the antlers end up going out of the antlers.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Grabbed my nose and ripped it.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Sure. Who doesn't have a story like that?

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Yeah.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Really?

[Host (Burt)]

All right. Thank you. Appreciate it.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Jen Fallon has a better name for that one.

[Host (Burt)]

What's that?

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

She's going to call that one the Redneck Rip.

[Host (Burt)]

The Redneck Rip. How about the canine cut? Hey, Steven.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Good Morning.

[Host (Burt)]

You're on Q100.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah. Morning.

[Host (Burt)]

Morning.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I had my ex girlfriend's dog or sick holes in my upper thigh.

[Host (Burt)]

You're gonna have to back up because your phone was going out on us.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Say that again.

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[Host (Burt)]

Stephen. Her dog bit my thigh during sex.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, no.

[Host (Burt)]

And I don't know what the rest of the story was, but I think that's good enough. Yeah, that's plenty.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Because the dog thought she was in danger. I don't know if that goes with the broke back though.

[Host (Burt)]

Broke back penis, I mean, I think. Well.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

And the nip rip is still pretty. Damn.

[Host (Burt)]

There you are like looking on the floor like you lost the contact lens.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

It was just a little tear. Feeling in the carpet. About healed.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

You got a band aid on there?

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

I did for like two days.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Little Neosporin, I did.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

What was that?

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

What was that stuff? That was like. It looked orange on your skin.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Iodine.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Is that what you had?

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Poured it over it?

[Host (Burt)]

Bringing sexy back.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Got an orange boob.

[Host (Burt)]

Eddie. We just have to be really careful about the, the actually describing the act, but go ahead.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Okay. My wife, she was really into doing it in the shower. So we're in the shower having a good time, but I wasn't quite finished and she said, ah, I've had enough. So she takes a wet towel and throws it onto my part and the weight of the wet towel tore some muscles down there and put me out of action for about six months. And to make matters worse, we couldn't wait six months. We were kind of newlyweds and after about five months and a week, we did it again and made it even worse and had to wait another six months.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, no.

[Host (Burt)]

So you had sex twice in a year as a newlywed?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah, that's my ex wife.

[Host (Burt)]

Because of the towel hang, no doubt. Thanks for calling, man.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Absolutely. See you.

[Host (Burt)]

9:29 now.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Jen, I hope your boob gets better. It is better.

[Host (Burt)]

The calls are still coming in. We could do this again. We should, uh.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, are they getting worse? The rounds of SRI poker?

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah. And I'm making the determination, if it's like legal for us to actually talk about some of them. Let's line them up. Let me play a song and we'll line them up.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Okay.

[Host (Burt)]

And we'll have a better idea which ones we can actually Go on the air with. All right, so our SRI Poker started with Jen Hobby.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Yep. I had a nip rip.

[Host (Burt)]

We had brokeback penis, who was underneath. And nip bent back. It bent back. Yeah. And broke it. Literally and broke it.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

And there's still a little bend in it to this day. And there was the nose.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

The red gold oak tree branch.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah. Then there was the necklace of the deer that went up the woman's nose and ripped her nose.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Husband had a deer head.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Medallion. And the antler ripped her nose one time.

[Host (Burt)]

Oh, no. We're just gonna go right here. Oh, no.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, no. Oh, you can't wait.

[Host (Burt)]

No, I don't need to wait on this one. Okay. I could just tell you that Aunt Jemima got a little too hot.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, no.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey, Jamie.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Yes.

[Host (Burt)]

Good morning.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

My story is my husband used to work night shifts, and I thought I'd be sexy one night and wait up on him naked, and ended up falling asleep on our chair in the living room. And he saw me naked, so he thought he'd be cute and romantic and go into the kitchen. He grabbed the Hershey syrup out of the refrigerator and thought he'd warm it up a little bit in the microwave. And apparently he got it a little too hot, and he came and stood above me, and I was still asleep, and he drizzled it on me, and instead of drizzle, it came out into a big gush and burnt my whole stomach.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Oh, that is such a guy move.

[Host (Burt)]

That is, man.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

That is a guy.

[Host (Burt)]

Idiots. Oh, she's gonna love this. Oh, she is gonna love this.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

It came out like water, apparently, and it was just. It burnt the mess out of me. I was like a cat to the ceiling.

[Host (Burt)]

Please don't tell me it left a scar.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

No, it was red for a couple days, but, no, it did not leave a scar. I kind of roughed it up a little bit. Like a bad sunburn.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

But no, no scar. Thank God.

[Host (Burt)]

Thank you for sharing. This may be our end call right here. Hey, Sean. Good morning.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Hey, good morning. How are you?

[Host (Burt)]

Good. Man. Sri Poker. What do you have?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I'll try to be as nice as I can be about it. I had a tongue ring a couple years back, and the girlfriend that I was with, she had one. Let's just say, around her, cash and prizes. Right? And long story short, the barbell of mine bars into hers.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

It's like it became one of those old iron bar games.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah. Right. So, you know, she's going, oh, oh. And I'm going, ah, ah. I had to, you know, remove it right there. So, needless to say, the. The mood was killed severely.

[Host (Burt)]

So the two of you guys, you were stuck together in that position?

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah, just for a few minutes.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

It's the adult version of your braces getting clamped together.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Yeah, exactly. Thank God we didn't have any metal detectors or anything around.

[Host (Burt)]

Oh.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

But nothing. Everything stayed in delicately. Everything of hers stayed intact or. No. Okay, good.

[Host (Burt)]

Jeff, how did that sound when he was trying to tell her that he knew that. When he knew that there was a problem.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I can't.

[Host (Burt)]

I think we got a follow and.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Do it in a British accent.

[Host (Burt)]

The fault involved.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Thank God her mother didn't come home.

[Host (Burt)]

No kidding.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Dude.

[Host (Burt)]

I think I have a Harlem. Do you? What? Yeah, yeah, do that Harlem.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

Oh, whatever you're doing, keep on saying that. I can't.

[Host (Burt)]

All right. Just as I thought that was going to be the last one. This. This one, I think, is going to be our closer. Stephanie, your. Your SRO I don't know if I can tell you. Oh, God.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Several. Several years ago. Good morning, by the way.

[Lisa (Parent Caller)]

Good morning.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

My boyfriend and I were going at it pretty hard, and I was on top. And he literally climaxed so hard that he threw me off and I landed backwards, neck first, on the windowsill.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

No.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Broke my neck.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

You are kidding.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

No.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

I spent six months in a halo. I have no permanent damage, but I had to walk around in a halo for six months. You guys.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

You had to tell everyone, everybody how it happened.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

I did.

[Host (Burt)]

Did you make up?

[Female Callers / Listeners]

I couldn't lie about it. They would have thought that he'd, you know, beaten me.

[Host (Burt)]

You must have made up a story to selective people.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

No. What did.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

What did you tell mom and Dad?

[Female Callers / Listeners]

I told him what happened.

[Host (Burt)]

So he throws you off of him, and just the way you land on the windowsill, it hits you right at the neck and breaks your neck.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Right. I. I shattered two vertebrae.

[Host (Burt)]

Good.

[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

Yeah.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Are you still dating him? No, no, of course not.

[Host (Burt)]

He. He was very, very remorseful. But I will tell you right now that when you were there, was a small part of him going, yeah, yeah.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

I broke your neck.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

He brag.

[Co-host / Commentator (Jen Fallon)]

He bragged about that.

[Host (Burt)]

That's the result of my work.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

At least have an O. O. Did you at least get the big O?

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (Burt)]

Okay. All right.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

Thank goodness.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Absolutely.

[Caller (Male Guests)]

Without that.

[Host (Burt)]

Thank you for calling. Appreciate it.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

Thanks, guys.

[Host (Burt)]

I think that's our full house else right there. Yeah. You're on the Birch Show.

[Female Callers / Listeners]

The holidays are coming, and I've got.

[Co-host / Commentator (Bert)]

A Boost Mobile gift just for you Aww for me Anna Yes Anna, you deserve a gift. The Boost Mobile Unlimited plan is just $10 a month for the first two months, then 25amonth forever with unlimited data, talk and text. It's a gift. Thanks Anna.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

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[Hers Advertiser / Paige from Giggly Squad]

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