Full Show PT 3: Thursday April 9 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3: Thursday April 9 [Vault]

Date: April 9, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others
[Note: Ads, promos, and sponsor content have been excluded.]

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Episode Overview

In this lively and relatable episode, The Bert Show team dives deeply into the complexities of parenting in the digital age, the gray areas of trust and privacy with teenagers, and, in a lighter shift, celebrates society’s innate curiosity (aka nosiness) with the launch of a new segment dedicated to uncovering personal mysteries for listeners. Special guest Mark Malkoff also joins to share his offbeat attempt to conquer his intense fear of flying by living on a plane for 30 days. The episode vacillates between heartwarming, humorous, and introspective, all characterized by the show's signature mix of real talk and playful banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Digital Age Parenting: Surveillance vs. Trust

[02:02–16:46]

• Scenario Introduction:
  Melissa introduces a dilemma faced by a family with a high school-aged daughter whose computer use is subject to real-time parental surveillance via software that mirrors her screen to their devices.

• Technical Explanation:
  The team discusses the technology, noting it’s similar to remote-desktop tools often used by IT support, but here, it’s repurposed for monitoring a teenager’s computer activity.

• Debate: Privacy Invasion or Necessary Safeguard?

  • Burt notes the escalation of dangers online, arguing:

    “Based on what we’ve heard from teenagers... a lot of these are the good kids... And if you’re not constantly checking... by the time they go down this road, it’s too late.” (05:27–05:50)

  • Melissa supports proactive monitoring:

    “It’s a violation of trust. But what, you also don’t want your kid’s boobs all over the high school.” (08:31–09:03)

  • John stresses boundaries—journals vs. Internet:

    “My boundary would be the journal... but I would be tempted to do this [monitoring] at this age now, at 14 and 15. Yes.” (06:31–06:59)

  • Jen voices unease about broken trust when/if the child discovers the monitoring:

    “When she does find out, she’s gonna have this broken trust from them.” (06:07–06:10)

• Calls from Listeners & Teens:

  • Julie (parent) shares her experience with monitoring and kids finding workarounds:

    “She signs up under a different name and keeps going. And so monitoring, I think, is wonderful… but you’re not gonna catch it all and you can’t stop it.” (07:15–08:00)

  • Valerie (teenager) counters:

    “This is a complete violation of trust... You should trust what you instilled in them.” (09:08–09:29)

  • AJ (parent) advocates for full transparency:

    “You live under my roof, you follow my rules, and I will do as I feel is necessary to make sure you are safe... Once you move out, you can do anything you choose.” (12:18–12:44)

• Consensus Points:

  • Parental monitoring is viewed as contextually appropriate (younger teens vs. older teens).
  • Open communication and transparency about monitoring yields more trust than covert surveillance.
  • Many parents express anxiety but also resignation that, despite best efforts, teenagers will sometimes find ways around restrictions.

Notable Quotes

• "There’s gotta be a balance. But yeah, this whole, ah, well, I don’t want to make my kid mad and well, I want to negotiate with my kid. Then you’re a weak parent to me." — John (15:12–15:53)
• “Eventually someday I want to be able to build that where my kids are not afraid to come to me… I want to be able to talk to my kids and have them feel like they’re not going to get in trouble for sharing their life with me.” — Jen (16:01–16:39)

Key Timestamps

• 02:02 — Scenario of computer monitoring at home introduced.
• 06:59 — Listener Julie shares real-life experience.
• 09:03 — Teen caller Valerie presents the dissenting teen viewpoint.
• 12:18 — AJ sets out strict, upfront rules for her own family.

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2. Society’s Curiosity: Nosy But Nice — New Segment Launch

[19:23–34:50]

• Theme:
  The cast admits and celebrates their own nosiness. Listeners are invited to confess the things they’re dying to know (about co-workers, friends, neighbors, etc.) but are too shy or polite to pursue directly; the show will investigate on their behalf.

• Examples of Nosy Curiosity from Hosts:

  • Melissa notices someone’s missing wedding ring and speculates rather than ask directly.
  • Jen’s fascination with whether a well-known local woman has had cosmetic procedures.

• Listener Calls — “Mystery Cases”:

  • Suspiciously Early and Late Coworker (23:13–26:22):
    Listener Jill wonders if her coworker is living at the office due to some suspicious behavior (wet hair in mornings, lots of personal effects in the car, etc.).
  • Fast Divorce Drama (27:28–29:16):
    Molly recounts a newlywed couple seemingly split after only 1–3 months, and no one knows why.
  • Honors Graduation Conspiracy (29:22–31:47):
    Kelly is baffled by a classmate who appears to be graduating with honors (‘gold tassel’) despite subpar attendance and grades.
  • The Mysterious Big Expense (32:03–34:06):
    Jack’s coworker continually hints she must pay for something expensive but dodges explaining what it is.

• Hosts’ Reflections:

  • The team muses that reality TV and social media have made society both more voyeuristic and more ashamed about it.
  • The hosts predict that the truth behind these “mysteries” is often much more mundane or sensitive than people suspect.

Notable Quotes

• “Everybody likes gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves.” — Melissa (19:33–19:42)
• “The rumor has blown so out of proportion that the reality of it is so small that the stories might be disappointing when we find out the truth.” — Burt (34:07–34:19)

Key Timestamps

• 19:23 — Introduction of 'Nosy But Nice' segment
• 23:13 — Jill's “is he living in the office?” mystery
• 27:28 — Molly's divorce question
• 29:22 — Kelly's gold tassel dilemma
• 32:03 — Jack's coworker’s mysterious expense

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3. Special Guest: Mark Malkoff’s 30 Days on a Plane

[37:23–45:54]

• Introduction:
  Mark Malkoff is nine days into a project to live continuously on an AirTran airplane for 30 days, aiming to conquer his fear of flying.

• His Experience:

  • Sleeps on the plane (row 22) every night, only leaves when necessary to switch aircraft.
  • Keeps clean with baby wipes and hair washes in the lavatory; gets exercise by jogging and doing push-ups in the aisles.
  • Socializes with changing flight crews and chats with curious passengers.
  • Wife visits on weekends; AirTran hosted their anniversary dinner on a plane wing.
  • Logs enormous flight hours (last week: 67-68), already circled the globe 1.24 times in distance.
  • Maintains sanity and community via Wi-Fi, social media, and sharing video content with supporters.

• Fun & Candid Moments:

  • Mark admits that turbulence and takeoff are the worst parts:

    “Turbulence. I don’t like turbulence and I don’t like takeoff... If I can do a month with the fear of flying, they [other nervous flyers] can get through a flight.” (41:23–41:30)

  • On the inevitable hygiene concerns:

    “Come here to the airplane and smell me. I smell great.” (40:57–41:19)

  • On romance:

    “I’m lonely. Put it that way. If you come on the flight, I might ask you to hold me...” (44:07–44:12)

• Medical Concerns:
  Mark jokes about the potential radiation exposure from spending so much time at altitude, and quips about possibly needing a new doctor.

• Support from Team:
  The hosts express a mix of fascination, horror, and envy, especially among those who hate flying (Melissa in particular fears the challenge).

Key Timestamps

• 37:23 — Mark Malkoff joins the show
• 38:15 — Describes his daily routine on the plane
• 40:53 — Hygiene and exercise strategies
• 43:13 — Not yet over his fear, continues for the challenge

Notable Quotes

• “If I get off the plane on June 30th and I’m entirely green, we know the radiation thing was a problem.” — Mark Malkoff (42:47–42:52)
• “Are you...concerned at all about the digital transition?” — Melissa (44:20–44:25, in humorous reference to tech changes during Mark’s flight)

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Memorable Moments

• Listeners debating where parental rights end and children’s privacy begins (Valerie vs. AJ, 09:03–12:44)
• Launch of the “Nosy But Nice” segment, capturing the universal urge to know—but not to ask
• Mark Malkoff holding hands with a kid on a turbulent flight to conquer mutual flying fears (43:13–43:24)
• “If you’re not going to be home, just call me. It’s okay.” vs. “I will check up on you. You’ll never know when I check up on you.” — Contrasts in parenting philosophies highlighted through callers (14:05–14:23)

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Summary Table of Notable Quotes with Timestamps

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |---------|---------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:27 | Burt | "Based on what we’ve heard from teenagers...if you’re not constantly checking...it’s too late."| | 06:07 | Jen | "When she does find out, she’s gonna have this broken trust from them." | | 08:31 | Melissa | "It’s a violation of trust. But...you also don’t want your kid’s boobs all over the high school."| | 09:29 | Valerie | "This is a complete violation of trust... You should trust what you instilled in them." | | 12:40 | AJ | "You live under my roof, you follow my rules..." | | 16:39 | Jen | "...I want to be able to talk to my kids and have them feel like they're not going to get in trouble for sharing their life with me."| | 19:33 | Melissa | "Everybody likes gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves." | | 34:19 | Burt | "...the rumor has blown so out of proportion that the reality...might be disappointing." | | 41:23 | Mark Malkoff | "If I can do a month with the fear of flying, they can get through a flight." | | 42:47 | Mark Malkoff | "If I get off the plane on June 30th and I’m entirely green, we know the radiation thing was a problem."|

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show brings into sharp focus the dilemmas faced by modern parents, the awkward reality of our prying nature, and the value of facing life's fears head-on—even (especially) when they seem impossible. Through candid discussions, engaging listener contributions, and the delightful detour with Mark Malkoff's airborne quest, the show delivers laughs, insights, and plenty of food for thought, all while retaining an approachable, real-life tone.

For more episodes or to join the conversation, visit: www.thebertshow.com

Transcript

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[Melissa]

I think we're gonna have to have parents who are who have kids older than Hayden weigh in on this.

[Burt]

And how old is Hayden now?

[Jen]

I can't.

[Burt]

I remember six, seven.

[Melissa]

What is he, six?

[Burt]

Six.

[Melissa]

And which we still have to address your age issues with your son, but different time. The. I met some people who have a daughter who I'm guessing is probably 14 or 15. She's definitely high school age. I can't tell if she's a freshman or senior, though. But she's in high school and she has a computer in her room. And so they see all. Or I guess last year, saw the news stories about all stuff that happens on Facebook and MySpace and instant messaging and email and nasty pictures around and all the crap that can happen. So they had the debate, like, what do we do about the computer? She's a good student, never had any problems. She does work on the computer. It's in her room. So we don't want to take it out of the room and kind of discourage her from going in there and doing homework. But you know, what if she just makes a stupid mistake and emails a picture of her boobs to some boy who shows it to everybody in high school, and then for the rest of her life, she's the girl who showed her boobs to the whole high school. So they came up with the idea. He works in computers. So I don't know if this is something you can just go to, like, Best Buy and Purchase or if you have to have some knowledge of computers, but they have a setup where they can sit in their living room and watch what she's doing on her computer in real time on their laptop.

[Jen]

So it's not a video camera in her room? No, it's a duplication of what's going

[Melissa]

on on her computer, her screen.

[Burt]

You've seen this from time to time. Like engineers. Computer engineers can do this. If you call, like, tech support, you can give them a code and they just take over your computer and you could sit in front of it, and you're just watching your cursor go all over the place and it go from page to page and you're hands free.

[Melissa]

They can do it. I know they can do it in our building. Like, they can do any one of the computers that are on our network. Because I've had to go in there and ask them to reset something, and they're just like, okay, which one is it? And they'll. Because how many monitors do we have in here? 10?

[Burt]

Something like that.

[Melissa]

Yeah. So I'll go into engineering and go, hey, my computer's hung up on trying to print something. And they'll go, okay, which one is it? And they'll bring up every screen. Each one of you guys, what you're looking At. And page through each one and go. That's not it. That's not it. That's not it. That's Burt's. That's. I like what he's looking at. Okay. That's not it. That's not it.

[John]

Well, I mean. And he knows a company computer, so they have full access to the job.

[Melissa]

Whatever that technology is.

[Burt]

They got it.

[Melissa]

This dude has it in his house,

[Burt]

so he's in the living room, or he has it in his own room, and he can watch his daughter's computer.

[Melissa]

They said it's on their laptop. So I'm assuming even if they're out of town, even if he's at work, whatever, they can log in, do something, and they watch it, and they made the decision. And that by doing that, they can dis. Like, if they see instant messenger conversation going in the wrong direction. You know what I mean? Then they can intervene without ever telling her that they know if they're strong

[John]

enough to be able to do that without intervening immediately.

[Melissa]

Right.

[John]

I think it's a great idea, but I don't think many parents have the stamina to be able to handle what they see.

[Burt]

There's such a fine line here. Now, like, if you would have brought this up a year ago, I think I probably would have said something to the effect of, look, if your kid's a good kid and you trust your kid, and you've already told them all of this and you've taught them and you're confident in what you've taught them, then you can't look over their shoulder all the time. They can't feel like they're in a prison.

[Bert]

But, man, based on what we've heard

[Burt]

from teenagers over the last couple of months on this show, it sounds to me like a lot of these are the good kids, you know, like. And if you're not constantly checking on them and you're not constantly looking in their email or checking at their Facebook, then by the time they go down this road and they start doing stuff like that, it's too late.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

See?

[Jen]

But I don't think that this daughter has given them any reason not to trust her.

[Burt]

Well, that's what some parents were calling up to say weeks ago, is that

[Bert]

you shouldn't need that.

[Burt]

You shouldn't need that proof that you should be looking anyway.

[Jen]

I guess I just feel like when she finds out. Cause she will find out. I agree with Melissa that few parents

[John]

could pull it off.

[Jen]

And when she does find out, she's gonna have this broken trust from them.

[Melissa]

Their argument or their statement was, I was like, isn't that kind of shady? Or whatever. And their argument was basically that back in the day, their parents, you know, my friend's parents would look at, like, the diaries or the journals, or like, you know, a boy writes you.

[Jen]

I don't agree with that either.

[Melissa]

A boy writes you a note in class and it takes a.

[John]

See, I disagree with the journal. Cause the journal is a private thing. I can see the Internet concern because you're actually interacting with other people and potentially could get in trouble. Or you can't get in trouble in your diary, because we've talked about that before. How much would you snoop on your child? And my boundary would be the journal. Let them write whatever they want to write to themselves and get it out of their system. But I wouldn't go in there and break that trust. But I would be tempted to do this at this age now, at 16 and 17. No. But at 14 and 15. Yes.

[Burt]

Let me take a call here. I think the real question here is, as a parent, is this a breach of trust or is this something that you have to do? Even if you have a quote, unquote good kid, do you still have to be looking over their shoulder all the time? Hey, Julie, you're on the voice disguiser.

[Julie]

Hi. First of all, I just wanted to comment to the software. It is a software that anybody out there can get and have installed. It has to be installed on both computers. I had it in order to work from home so that I could work with my boss. And the other side of the coin is I have one of those kids who everybody thinks is the perfect kid. And we've caught her doing things over her cell phone. We've monitored her MySpace. We've deleted it a thousand times. She signs up under a different name and keeps going. And so monitoring, I think, is wonderful.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

I do. But it's.

[Julie]

You're just not gonna catch it all and you can't stop it.

[John]

But you shut down. I mean, she found out what you

[Melissa]

were doing, so she started opening up other MySpace accounts. This prevents that, though. If you can sit there and look.

[John]

You see this like what I said, though? I don't know. A parent, they could look and not try to do something too extreme.

[Burt]

Yeah. I think we're concentrating too much on the computer aspect and the software aspect of it. When the real question is, should you constantly be looking over your kid's shoulder in every way, shape and form, even if they haven't given you a reason to?

[Melissa]

My inclination, I think this is perfect. Because, you know, and save your emails. I'm not a parent. I know that. But the, like she was saying, like, your kid will just knock out a new Facebook page, a new MySpace page, a new Twitter feed, whatever, once you figure out what's going on on one of them, if you don't like it, this allows the parent to keep an eye, like, to know everything. I mean, it's a violation of trust. But what, you also don't want your kids boobs all over the high school.

[Burt]

Here's Valerie. She wants to represent teenagers on this. Go ahead, Valerie.

[AJ]

Hi.

[Valerie]

I personally feel that this is a complete violation of trust for parents to watch what their kids do on the Internet. I mean, there's absolutely no trust in there. I feel if. That if you raise your child correctly, then you shouldn't have to be over their shoulder all the time. You shouldn't have to always be watching what they're doing. Like, you should trust what you instilled in them.

[John]

What age do you think that as a teenager you're an adult and the parent no longer needs to parent you?

[AJ]

About 16.

[John]

Okay. Because I agree with that. I think, I think I agree. 16, 17, 18, you're, you're, you know, they're starting to work and they need, they're starting to kind of get their feet wet on how life is. But at 13 and 14, I do still think that they need parenting.

[Burt]

Hey, Valerie, I want to put you on with this guy named John. I think he's a parent and he has the total opposite opinion.

[John]

You do.

[Burt]

He thinks that it's a good thing to do that.

[AJ]

Okay.

[Burt]

Hey, John, go ahead.

[John]

Yeah. What I think, I think the parents are doing the right thing. I don't think they're doing the right thing in terms of not telling their child. I think they should treat it more like companies do with employees. Say, hey, especially if they're letting them have the computer in their room. Say, we're going to go ahead and monitor what you're doing. This computer is just for work. And maybe if they wanted to keep up with their friends on Facebook or something, fine. But, you know, appropriate is out of bounds. And like I heard someone else just say, if once they're 17, 16, mean you're going to have to kind of let the range go if they're going to go out and do some things and they're going to do it, but in an early race like that, then you need to go ahead and keep that monitor.

[Burt]

He's starting to break that. Or, Valerie, if your parents told you that the computer you were using in the house was just for school?

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Have they.

[Caller (M)]

No.

[Melissa]

If they did.

[Burt]

They did. Wouldn't you just find other ways to. Or some of your other friends? Wouldn't you just find other ways to sort of do what you wanted?

[AJ]

Yes, I would.

[Valerie]

And actually, John, I think your idea was actually a better one. Like, if you. If you do monitor what they do, like, tell them, like, they won't go on bad things. They won't do bad things on the Internet, especially with the knowledge that they're watching. But they will probably find another outlet

[John]

to do other things, another computer and

[Burt]

do it or go to their phone. Like, if you're paying a price. Do your parents check your phone every day? No, they don't.

[Valerie]

They don't check my phone at all.

[Burt]

Have they told you that? That would be something that they would do. So you sort of.

[Valerie]

No, never.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Melissa]

There's also the chance that I think parents might not. Like you may have just said, what do you mean, check your phone? There's probably a good number of parents who don't have any idea that there is a browser, a web browser on their telephone. On a kid's telephone. Like, I said that to. I mean, I know my parents are older than a teenager's parents, but I said to my dad, I'm like, well, why don't you just. On your phone. He was looking for a phone number, an address or. So he called me and said, hey, are you near a computer? Can you Google something for me? Why don't you just do it from your phone? He's like, google on my phone. And I'm like, you know what? I'll do it. Because I don't have four hours to explain to you how to access it. But a lot of parents aren't even going to realize that you have a web browser in your pocket.

[Burt]

Hey, AJ. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[AJ]

Good morning, guys. I am a parent of a 10 and 12 year old, but I was once a child that was a good kid. But I was raised and I will raise my children the very same way. You live under my roof, you follow my rules, and I will do as

[Valerie]

I feel I necessary to make sure

[AJ]

that you are safe in any way, shape, form or fashion, period. The end. Once you move out, you can do anything you choose.

[Jen]

So you would tell them that you put the software on there.

[AJ]

I will.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[AJ]

I'll be glad to tell them. My mother. My mother was very upfront, honest with me. I know where you are. You best know that I will check up on you. You'll never know when I check up on you. And she did at one time and caught me. So, I mean, like I said, and that other caller, the kid that called that said, you need to trust your kids, you raise them and you do the very best that you can. You teach them all that you know is right. But they're still going to be kids. They're still going to do what they want to do. They're still going to say, but what if I do this just one time? I mean, they've got a curiosity of them. They're going to do it. You as a parent were given this child to raise and to protect. If you don't protect them, you're not doing your job.

[Melissa]

Have you said, have you said if you would do this for Hayden or not?

[Burt]

I really don't know, man. I mean, because at this point when I'm listening to this conversation, I'm so relieved we're not there yet, but I know it's right around the corner.

[AJ]

It'll get that before you know it.

[Bert]

I know.

[Burt]

And I'm, I'm sort of a hard ass in the house and Stacey is sort of soft with Hayden. So I think if there's going to be this kind of check in going on, it's probably going to be from me. I just, this isn't naturally me to be this kind of controlling and check all the time. So I don't know. I really have no idea if you're the one.

[AJ]

I were raised totally separate ways. My mama was a hard ass and his mama was, you know, if you're not going to be home, just call me. It's okay. And so we've had to come to. He had to come to my side of the road because he realized I'm not gonna give in. These are my kids. I'm not gonna have anything happen to him as long as I can help it.

[John]

Well, a lot of times, too, parents raise daughters and sons differently. You know, my brother didn't have a curfew, but my sister and I did.

[Jen]

Oh.

[Valerie]

But mine will be.

[Burt]

I sort of. I mean, my inner parent sounds a lot like AJ because what she was

[Melissa]

saying sounds a lot like your theory on spanking. Like if you're spanking properly, you only spank them three times in their whole life because that's. Cause that's what they'll. And then they remember it and it carries on. So all you really have to do is keep an eye on his email once and then bring up something and go, hey, I just want to let you know I looked in your email and I know that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's going to be so conscious of that forever.

[Burt]

I think this also goes back to a conversation we've had before about parents. Some of them try so hard to be friends with their kids. And for me, once you do that, you've lost your ability to lead.

[John]

That's what I'm saying.

[Burt]

You're an authority figure in that house.

[John]

That's what I'm sitting here thinking about is the fact that, and that's one of the reasons that I have problems with timeout, because I feel like you're negotiating with your child. It is no negotiation. I am the parent, you are the child. That is the, that is how it is. I, with that last parent, yeah, my parents, there was no negotiating. No, there was no, like if they wanted to look through something, they looked through it. If they wanted to spank me, they spanked me. If they, you know, it wasn't this. I had no power, you know, And I think, you know what teenagers and I didn't understand is that, yeah, your parents actually do have your best interest, but you're still gonna be a teenager. So I guess there's gotta be a balance. But yeah, this whole, ah, well, I don't want to make my kid mad and well, I want to negotiate with my kid. Then you're a weak parent to me.

[Burt]

Jen, you have a 13 year old right now. What are you doing? Are you checking all that stuff?

[Jen]

I'm checking all that stuff, but I'm telling the 13 year old I'm checking it.

[Burt]

You are?

[Melissa]

That's the smartest thing to do.

[Burt]

Maybe.

[Jen]

So I like to think I'm saying I've got spyware, whatever it is, everything to check on your phone, on your computer or whatever, but just know that I'm there and I'm looking for it or whatever and having, I mean having those open conversations or whatever and building trust. Like I, as a parent, eventually someday I want to be able to build that where my kids are not afraid to come to me because there were some things with my parents because my dad was so strict, I was afraid to talk to them about. And so in that being afraid, I made a lot of mistakes because of that. You know what I mean? I want to be able to talk to my kids and have them feel like they're not going to get in trouble for sharing their life with me.

[Melissa]

That caller who said, I'm going to check up on you, you're not going to know when and where, but I'm going to do it. That would have been enough to keep me more in line, probably.

[Burt]

You're on the Burt Show.

[Bert]

Delete Me makes it easy, quick and safe to remove your personal data online. At a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everybody vulnerable, it is easier than ever to find personal information about people online. Having your address, your phone number, family members, names just hanging out there online, it's all pretty scary stuff, right? With Delete Me, you can protect your personal privacy or the privacy of your business from doxing attacks before sensitive information can be exploited. Look, I'm online all the time and it freaks me out that my info is out there. Take control of your data. Keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. And now, at a special discount just for you guys, get 20% off your delete me plan. When you go to JoinDeleteMe.com Bert use the promo code Bert at checkout. That's JoinDeleteMe.com Bert enter the code Bertbert Checkout.

[Hers Representative]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then, even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegov pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightless by hers is not available in all 50 states. We'll go be is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi clinical study information and restrictions.

[HBIC Host]

Visit borheart.com it's the original HBIC here. If you are out here living your life Being fabulous, being booked, being busy, being the hbic. You need to be taking care of yourself. That's why I love Q Care Plus Prep doxy pep baby. It's fast, it's easy, it's online, and it comes straight to you. And now they even offer easy and hair loss treatment with a prep prescription. Get into Q Care plus and stay ready.

[Burt]

Here's what we're trying to get at here. You know, generally, I think for the most part, we're all pretty nosy people.

[Melissa]

Oh, without a doubt.

[Burt]

Curious. You call curious? I say nosy.

[Melissa]

Well, if you're being polite. We're not nosy. We're just interested. But the reality is everybody likes gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves.

[Burt]

Here's what we're looking for. If there's something going on in your office, whoa. Could be a friend of a friend of a friend. Like Jeff said, there's some gossip going on.

[Bert]

You would just like to know it's

[Burt]

not going to make your life any better. Not gonna make your life any worse.

[John]

Damn.

[Burt]

You're just curious. You're just curious and you want answers. And you're too much of a coward to actually pursue it yourself. Plus, it's probably too superficial of a thing for you to go ahead and pursue, but you would sure like to know.

[John]

One of the things that started this was Jeff had mentioned yesterday about the fact that he had left his wedding ring at the lake and he hasn't worn it for a long time. And I noticed that. And I noticed when Jessica came in to do Jessica's shop, she didn't have her wedding ring.

[Melissa]

Melissa's been waiting for me to be available since the day we met.

[John]

That's right.

[Jen]

I've been star.

[Melissa]

Every day she's hoping that that left hand is naked as a baby.

[John]

See you, Katie.

[HBIC Host]

Hello, Jeffrey.

[John]

So save that.

[Melissa]

Send it to me as a ringtone.

[John]

So I've been staring at Jeff's ring finger, but no, there was one day that I pulled Bert aside in the hallway and I said, have you noticed that Jeff doesn't have his ring on? So instead of going directly to Jeff and saying, I've noticed you don't have a wedding ring on. Is everything okay? I went to Bert and I said, have you noticed? And Bert hadn't noticed. So we talked about it in the hallway and before, you know, and I never even approached Jeff about it. So in this case, I would call the bird show and say, hey, you know what? There's this dude at the office. He doesn't have his wedding ring on. I just want to find out if anything is wrong.

[Burt]

Right.

[John]

And we would be the one to call him.

[Burt]

And in a case like this, I could go directly to Jeff. But you don't have that person. We're going to provide that person for you. It's going to be in the form of producer Tracy. Or you call us. You'll say, look, there's a guy in the office or a woman in the office or someone down the street.

[Bert]

Neighbors.

[Burt]

That's probably going to be the biggest hit. You gotta know something. There's always rumors about neighbors, right? So you want proof of what's going on, you supply us some information. We'll get producer Tracy on the case within 24 hours. We will call that person. We won't tell them who is pursuing this lead, who is curious. They will never know it's you. But we'll get the answers for you and we'll tell you on the air.

[Jen]

Like, I have one about a really beautiful woman who's social around town. A lot of people know who she is and she's just got like the most perfect style skin. And I am dying to know if she gets Juvederm or Botox. Okay, it doesn't matter. Whatever, she's still beautiful. I want to know is she getting injection injections in her skin or not?

[Burt]

404-741-Q100. About six months ago, there was one of these huge homes down the street from us. There's our homes, which aren't huge. And then there are the crazy big ones, like Pace's Ferry big. And there was somebody had handcrafted like what seemed to me like a 30 by 50 sign. And in paint wrote very. In an amateur way, it just said welcome back on it. And that was it. And I drove by that house for

[Bert]

about a week wondering.

[Burt]

I really want to know the story. Who's coming home? Was it somebody in the military?

[Melissa]

The house is that big. You should just pulled in like it was you they were waiting for.

[Burt]

Right there.

[Melissa]

It's good to be here.

[Burt]

Surprise.

[Melissa]

Which floor do you want me to live on?

[Burt]

Jill wants to be on the voice disguiser. And again, let me make this perfectly clear that you're not going to be the one pursuing the facts here. You're just going to tell us. We'll put you on hold. We'll put you on with producer Tracy. She'll do the fact finding. And with any luck at all, we'll get answers for you within 24 or 48. Go ahead, Jill. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Oh, hi. How are you?

[Burt]

Good. How are you?

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Good, thanks.

[Burt]

You don't have to feel bad about this. You don't have to feel sheepish, okay. Because we're all nosy.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

So I have this co worker, and for the past few months, I've noticed that he's the first one to come in in the morning and the last one to leave at night. And I've just always wondered about him. And then I've started to also notice that sometimes in the morning when I would show up, like, his hair would be wet, like he just got out of the shower. It didn't seem like there was enough time. It seemed like it dried. It wouldn't dry as fast as it should if he was driving to work or something. And then I noticed also that he. We have a gym downstairs and he would be down there, but he's kind of an overweight kind of guy, and it doesn't seem to be doing much. So I wonder if maybe he's just showering down there and then coming to work and not really using the gym.

[John]

Do you think he's living at the office? Yeah.

[Jen]

Do you think he's homeless?

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

I don't know. Like, it seems like that's what's going on. And I did also notice. I just feel so weird not following him or anything. But we have a small parking lot, and I walk by his car and there was, you know, a bunch of stuff in there, like, you know, clothes and shoes kind of strewn about. And it just seems like, you know, all the things kind of add up to, like, I just wonder what's going on.

[John]

He didn't have a place to go.

[Burt]

You wanna know his story? It's a little bit like, Jen, you remember, long time ago, you had passed this woman on the street every day before you came to work. You just wanted to know her story.

[Jen]

Yeah. Cause she was standing at the MARTA stop every day when I left. And it was, you know, it was really consistent. So in my mind, I had sort of, like, made up what her life story was. I can't remember her name right now to save my life. Oh, that's gonna bug me. But anyway. But yeah, it would be the same. It would be the same kind of thing. Just the curiosity thing.

[Burt]

And then we actually pursued her. We got her on the phone with us, just to find out what I

[Melissa]

think I told you guys. Years ago, when I worked at this radio station in Syracuse, there was a guy who moved into the prize closet.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah, you did tell us that.

[Melissa]

And he Would use old station T shirts. He would make a bed. And the only reason we knew I

[Jen]

worked with a guy who lived in our station vehicle for a couple of weeks.

[Melissa]

Yeah. And the only reason we knew it is we came by late at night from drinking. Me and a buddy of mine, you know, came by, walked to the radio station because you're gonna sleep for a couple hours before driving home from the bar. We walk in and there's like a light on in the prize close, like, oh, damn, I left the light on. And we open the door and dude is in there, a little portable tt.

[Jen]

He's got his little station T shirts all knitted together as his blanket.

[Burt]

What are you doing now, Jill? Are you curious about this because this is something that you would like to help out with or are you just simply want to know the story? And which is either one is fine.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Well, I'm worried about him. You know, I want to make sure that he's okay. But also just strikes me as odd wondering what his story is. You know what I mean?

[Burt]

Yeah, this is perfect. Yeah, it's a great one to start with. Let me put you on hold right now. Okay.

[Melissa]

Now will he come on with this, Bert, or does Tracy just talk to him?

[Burt]

No, I don't think we can get him on.

[John]

I mean, I think Tracy should just talk. I mean, if I think we want to get the story, it'll have to be off air.

[Burt]

Yeah. Because he a guy like this. Yeah. He didn't sign up for it. And if it is the worst case scenario, he doesn't want to.

[Jen]

Yeah, I want to admit to being homeless.

[Burt]

So what we can do is we can get you on. Unless the guy like or woman volunteers for it, then sure. But I think as we're talking about

[John]

it, unless it's a case of which let's say he was married and got divorced. She kicked him out and he's mad and wants to talk about it. Yeah.

[Burt]

Then we're solid.

[Jen]

Sure.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Right.

[Burt]

All right, Jill, let me put you on hold and we'll try to get some answers for you within the next 24.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Okay, great.

[Burt]

All right, hold on. We got a couple. Maybe we'll fish all day today, come back with something. Good morning, Molly. You haven't asked for it, but I'll go ahead and I'll put you on the voice disguiser. Okay, go ahead.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Well, about a couple years ago, I had a friend who got married. We were friends for shortly right before she got married. So we weren't really good friends.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

And we went to the Wedding and beautiful wedding.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

And about a month or two later, my friend called me and said that she had looked at this girl's Facebook page. I don't have Facebook. I think it's evil. So I never was able to look at the page to see what was going on, but it said her status was single. And obviously we had just attended her wedding not long before. And then about another month later, her, I guess, ex husband moved into our condo complex. And, you know, we would see him around, and we never saw her. So obviously they only made it like a month or two. And I never found out what happened. I mean, I never talked to her after the wedding. I never found out what happened to her.

[Burt]

Now, do you have enough details where we could track this person down and ask the questions?

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Oh, I think so, yeah.

[Burt]

Okay, so you just want to know what happened?

[Jen]

Why did they get divorced so fast?

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Yeah. I mean, to only make it. I mean, it was somewhere between a month and probably three months.

[Burt]

Perfect.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Something big must have happened to have

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

it in that quickly.

[Burt]

You know what?

[John]

Somebody found out something after the wedding.

[Melissa]

I've realized the nature of. With a lot of the questions that we're asking, it's almost like the. A lot of these are gonna come in, and they're gonna be, like, petty questions where if somebody responds with, none of your business, why are you concerned with my business? Like, then you feel foolish for asking it. That's kind of the nature of these questions. But you know what?

[John]

Curious.

[Melissa]

It's like reality TV has made us all voyager.

[John]

Well, she's a little mad because she gave, you know, bought a wedding gift.

[Burt]

Nice. She wants that cash back.

[Mark Malkoff]

Yes.

[Burt]

All right, Molly, let me put you on hold. We'll have somebody call you later on. We'll get as many details as we can, and we'll try to pursue that and find out what.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Sounds great. Thank you.

[Burt]

Okay, hold on. Let's take one more. I like this. Good morning, Kelly. You were on the voice disguiser.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Hi.

[John]

Hey.

[Valerie]

Good morning.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Good morning. I love you. I love you.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

I love you. I just wanted to say that.

[Burt]

Thank you. Thanks for calling.

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Okay.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

My dilemma is I graduate Saturday, and a fellow classmate who hasn't been going to school normally is now wearing a gold tassel in her graduation picture. The teachers and they say, well, we don't know. We don't know. Excuse me. And me and another fellow classmate have the honor roll program, and her name in our program is not in it.

[Melissa]

Are you graduating?

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Huh?

[Melissa]

I was gonna say, are you graduating with honors? No, but she Is.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Yes. And I know, I know this sounds kind of selfish and conceited, but I know for a fact I make better grades than her.

[John]

Now you said. Yeah. No, I'm curious because she, you said it was just in her picture that she has the tassel on because I wonder if she really is going to graduate with honors or she just, you know, got that on for the picture.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

That's. That's exactly what I want to know.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Okay, now if she did get the gold thing and is graduating with honors, how do you think she got it?

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Can I say this on the radio?

[Burt]

Only if you handle it delicately. You can say anything so long as it's in PG13 terms.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

She's the face of our program. So they boosted her grades.

[Jen]

You think it's because she's pretty?

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Not so much pretty, slutty.

[Melissa]

But what do you mean the face of your program? Like, is she on the COVID of the graduation program or like.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

No, no, no. For our program, she's like, she's graduating with like the program broadcast spokesman. She's always the one that's seen as my program, as the program we're in instead of everybody as a group.

[Burt]

Okay, her, she's the example.

[Melissa]

She's like the representative of your. Of your school.

[Burt]

So they have to make sure that she looks good or the whole class looks bad.

[John]

Yeah, I'm curious. I'm curious if she really is. Because a lot of times you can, I've seen it, that you can go into that photography studio and put on whatever for the cause. The photographer doesn't know whether you are graduating with honors.

[Jen]

But then also weren't you guys sometimes surprised at who was graduating like summa cum laude or whatever? They were like, you're like, what? That person's that smart? Because some people, it just comes easier.

[Burt]

Hey, Kelly, let me put you on hold. We need to get some more information from you and then we'll try to make these calls later today and with any luck at all, we'll get some answers for you over the next 24. Okay, one more. I figured the more we take, the better chance we have of getting a results for the over the next day or so.

[Melissa]

This radio segment is becoming quite pleasing to me.

[Burt]

I like it. Hey Jack, can you turn your radio down? Yes, thank you. Sir, you are on the voice disguiser. Go ahead.

[Caller (M)]

Hi, good morning. I'm calling about a co worker of mine, a fellow co worker who actually has to pay for something rather large and she won't mention to us what it is. She actually Mentions it all the time about that she has to pay for this really expensive thing. She always needs, like, more money and stuff, but she always mentions it, but never tells us what it is.

[Burt]

And you guys have straight up right to her face of, well, what is it? And she said, well, I really called her many times.

[Caller (M)]

You're like, well, what is it? What do you have to pay for? I mean, maybe we could help you out or something. But, you know, she's just up, no, never mind. I won't. I don't want to tell you.

[Burt]

So is she going around the office

[Caller (M)]

like DUIs or like, some kind of parking ticket or other stuff, but we never really know.

[Burt]

Is she going around the office asking you guys for money or she just hinting that she needs a raise and more hours?

[Caller (M)]

She's just hinting that she needs more hours. She's been calling about more hours all the time, talking to, like, our boss and supervisor about that she needs more time. And, like, she's taking other shifts up, and it's just really, really sketchy.

[Burt]

So is your hunch that she's just asking for more hours just so she can have extra cash and there's really not anything big that she needs to buy?

[Caller (M)]

Well, I mean, she. She's always, like, said to us that she has to pay for something, that she has to pay for something specific, but she won't tell us because it's so huge.

[John]

I mean, you just want to know what it is.

[Caller (M)]

She's going as far as egg donation because she needs that money.

[Burt]

Oh, wow.

[Jen]

What do you think it is?

[Caller (M)]

We thought. Well, we considered DUIs at first, but we've moved on to something pretty. Pretty, like, bigger than that, like arson or something. Like. We don't know. We don't know. It's just really weird.

[Burt]

I think what we're gonna find in most of these cases and. Jack, let me go ahead and put you on hold, and we'll get some more info and we'll try to get you some answers. So don't hang up, okay?

[Caller (Jill or Kelly)]

Sure, sure.

[Burt]

I think in most cases, what we might find with this whole segment is that the rumor has blown so out of proportion that the reality of it is so small that the stories might be disappointing when we find out the truth.

[John]

She wants to put in a pool.

[Burt]

She needs a new roof.

[Melissa]

Shingles blew off in the last storm. But she really wants to get it done while the summer's here before rains come again.

[Jen]

It's going to make the nosy person feel really bad about it. Like, if she's paying for her mother's medical bills. You know, something like that.

[Burt]

Like, well, this is guilt free though, cuz they'll never know it's you. Nobody knows it's you. We're doing all the dirty work for you, right? So we got four pretty compelling stories that producer Tracy will work on today and we'll see what we can come up with tomorrow. Listen, it's the Vert show.

[Bert]

Delete Me makes it easy, quick and safe to remove your personal data online. At a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everybody vulnerable, it is easier than ever to find personal information about people online. Having your address, your phone number, family members, names just hanging out there online, it's all pretty simple, scary stuff, right? With Delete Me, you can protect your personal privacy or the privacy of your business from doxing attacks before sensitive information can be exploited. Look, I'm online all the time and it freaks me out that my info is out there. Take control of your data. Keep your private life private by signing up for Delete me now at a special discount just for you guys. Get 20% off your delete me plan. When you go to JoinDeleteMe.com Bert use the promo code Bert at checkout. That's JoinDeleteMe.com Bert. Enter the code Bert B E R T at checkout.

[Hers Representative]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole, a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wobi pill and the Wobi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.combird for hers.com bird Weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A S. To get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi, clinical study information and restrictions, visit

[HBIC Host]

borheart.com it's the original HBIC here. If you are out here living your life, being fabulous, being booked, being busy, being the hbic, you need to be taking care of yourself. That's why I love Q Care Plus Prep Doxy Pep baby. It's fast, it's easy, it's online, and it comes straight to you. And now they even offer easy and hair loss treatment with a prep prescription. Get into Q Care plus and stay ready.

[Burt]

I can tell you right now that Melissa and I are on such a different point of reference here for this Mark Malkoff dude. This is a guy we were talking about a couple days ago. Melissa and I don't like to fly.

[John]

Oh, no. Yeah. Wow.

[Burt]

She got a hell now.

[John]

Yeah, because I just, I. I mean, I have been to LA twice in the past, what, two or three weeks? And it took so much energy out of me to just in the thinking that I'm flying four times across the country in a matter of a few weeks because I cannot stand to fly. I have to take medication in order to get through the flight.

[Burt]

I don't like it either. So this guy Mark here that is trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records for continuous commercial flight started in Atlanta, I think last week, and he's still on that flight right now. Talk to him. Hey, Mark.

[Mark Malkoff]

Hey. Thanks for having me on.

[Burt]

Sure, man. Good morning, honey.

[Mark Malkoff]

Good morning.

[Burt]

How many days are we into this ridiculous project now?

[Mark Malkoff]

Dear Goodness, today's day nine. I have 21 more days to go. And I should mention I'm doing this to get over my fear of flying. I came up with the idea about a year and a half ago and AirTran has been awesome to host me. I live on the plane. I sleep on the plane at night. I wake up in the morning. I wash my hair in the airplane bathroom in the morning. I jog to get some exercise in the aisles in the morning. This is my existence.

[Jen]

Are you with the same flight crew all the time? Like, are you becoming BFFs with the flight attendants?

[Mark Malkoff]

I am getting to know a lot of the flight attendants, but they change over. We try to stay. Keep me on the plane as much as possible. Once in a while, I do have to go on a tarmac to switch planes, but I never go into the airports. I sleep on the plane. My entire existence is pretty much in an airplane and we're going all over the country. But most nights I wind up back here in beautiful Atlanta, which I love.

[Burt]

So when, like at nighttime, I got so many questions at nighttime. Do you still crash? I shouldn't say crash. Do you sleep? That was bad, but not intentional. Do you sleep on the plane or do you go into the terminal and sleep there?

[Mark Malkoff]

No, I sleep on the plane in row 22, of course. And what I do is there's about three lines of chairs and I'll just lay on those. And about 2 o' clock in the morning, I'm usually wake up when the cleaning crew is vacuuming around me.

[John]

So how many hours during a day are you in the air?

[Mark Malkoff]

We do like usually five, six flights a day. Last week we logged, I believe, around 67, 68 hours. If you add up all the distance, we went around the world 1.24 times. Yeah, we're trying to just do as much as possible. I have to say, flying on AirTran around has really, really helped me deal with the fear, because I have no other choice but to deal with it. And the pilots have really counseled me and AirTran has Wi Fi. So I'm up in the sky 35,000ft. And just with Twitter and MySpace, the whole community has been very supportive, giving me tips on how to get over my fear. I'm able to stay connected to my wife Christine. And I actually met my wife Christine flies with me on the weekends to see me. And AirTran actually had an anniversary dinner for me. My anniversary was this week on the wing of a plane. Luckily, it wasn't moving at the time.

[Jen]

Now, when you first approached AirTran with this idea, did they think you were crazy? How did that conversation go?

[Mark Malkoff]

AirTran was a huge fan of my previous work. I've done a bunch of big videos and it just seemed like a really good fit. I mean, I really wanted to do this. They have an awesome sense of humor. Most airlines would not let somebody clearly do this, but they've given me complete creative control. I'm shooting tons of video content. If you go to markonairtran.com you can see all the videos. You can see me playing bingo with passengers on a flight. We did Twister the other day. We actually had a flight attendant wash my hair mid flight.

[Burt]

So does this mean that you're not showering for a month straight?

[Mark Malkoff]

That's right. I mean, you can actually come here to come here to the airplane and smell me. I smell great. I wash my hair in the sink. I used baby wipes and it's just been an amazing experience. And please to your listeners, I'm on Twitter, please, during my flights. Twitter me, I'm M. Malkoff. It's M, M A L, K O, F F. Yeah, it's really. The online community is helping me get through these next 21 days.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Are there people sitting next to you on the plane?

[Mark Malkoff]

Absolutely, 100%.

[John]

Oh, that's gotta be rough.

[Burt]

Has anybody complained? Has anybody said, this dude reeks. I need to be in row 19, not 22 with this dude.

[AJ]

Yeah.

[Mark Malkoff]

If anything, people want to meet me and ask why. And so many people have fears of flying. I mean the thing with me is turbulence. I don't like turbulence and I don't like takeoff. So a lot of people have been talking to me and a lot of people say it's actually helped them because if I can do a month with the fear of flying, they can get through a flight. So it's really, really been great on a bunch of different levels.

[John]

Now is it healthy for you to be on this plane this long? Because we've heard so many stories about how you need to.

[Melissa]

Melissa's just looking for excuses, not doing it.

[John]

I mean talking about flights like overseas and stuff. People are worried about if you're in a plane too long, the effects of it could have on your body.

[Mark Malkoff]

Here's the deal. I talked to my doctor in New York. My doctor told me there was no problem. So I'm going to get a new doctor. Here's the deal. There has to be something. I mean, I talked to a bunch of other doctors. They said, Mark, you need to be exercising. So I'm doing a lot of jogging in between flights in the aisle. I'm doing lunges, I'm doing push ups. The one thing that people have told me is that if you're up in an airplane a lot, it's higher, traces of radiation. So maybe that's it. But I mean I'm taking of that all lot of vitamins. My food is coming primarily from the airport, so I'm trying to eat as much fruit and vegetables as possible. But I have to say, surprisingly, I feel really good.

[Burt]

You understand the words just came out of your mouth right? Just now you said outside of the radiation, this has been a great experience.

[Mark Malkoff]

If I get off the plane on June 30th, I'm entirely green. We know the radiation thing was a problem.

[Burt]

Are you eating nothing but airlines food?

[Mark Malkoff]

No, I mean the air trans snacks are great and I'll eat them occasionally. But primarily my food is coming from Airports. So if you guys come visit me in Atlanta, please bring me some salads, bring me some fruit. I'll take a frappuccino. Whatever you guys want to bring me.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Wow.

[Jen]

I'm curious. If you're over the fear of flying at this point, why keep going another 21 days?

[Mark Malkoff]

I'm not, because it gets better. But then I hit some turbulence coming back from Seattle and I just start shaking. And I actually had a kid that was sitting next to. To me see that I was afraid and started holding my hand.

[Jen]

That's so sweet.

[Mark Malkoff]

The deal is it's an irrational fear. It's not a real fear. I know that. And I really feel like just with the online support, talking to pilots and dealing with this and having no choice but to face my fear that by the end, by June 30, I'll be over it.

[Burt]

Can I. Can I ask this dude a guy question?

[Mark Malkoff]

You can ask me anything.

[John]

Okay.

[Burt]

Without you guys getting offended. All right. So you're on this thing for how long? 30 days total?

[Julie]

Yes.

[Burt]

And your wife is visiting you on weekends?

[Mark Malkoff]

That's right.

[Burt]

So when the plane clears out.

[Mark Malkoff]

There's no time.

[Jen]

There's no time.

[Mark Malkoff]

Without getting specific, Christine can't stay on the. On the plane with me at night. So, yeah, there's very alone time. So make your draw your own conclusions to that.

[Burt]

So there's very, very few minutes that you're actually alone with her. So you guys haven't done it on a plane.

[Mark Malkoff]

I'm lonely. I'm lonely, put it that way. If you come on the flight, I might ask you to hold me if

[Burt]

you smell that bad. If you haven't had a shower in 17 days, no one's getting close to you.

[Mark Malkoff]

I'm telling you, your listeners should fly with me and smell me. I smell amazing.

[Melissa]

Are you now you're going to be on the plane until the end of June? Are you concerned at all about the digital transition?

[Mark Malkoff]

No, I'm not concerned at all.

[Burt]

I'm not concerned at all.

[Mark Malkoff]

I'm told that I have to get going, but you guys should come on a flight with me. You have an open invite. And please look at my videos daily on Mark on Air Trend. I love Atlanta. I'm here all the time, so I'd love to keep in touch with you guys.

[Burt]

When is your last day in flight?

[Mark Malkoff]

June 30th is my last day. The first thing I'm gonna do when I get off is kiss my wife. The second thing is shower alive.

[John]

Your wife will probably shower. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Can we Just call airtrain and request to be on your flight.

[Mark Malkoff]

Yeah, absolutely. Just do that. I'd love to see you guys. You guys have an open invite whenever.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Jen]

Thanks for having me.

[Mark Malkoff]

Thank you so much. Thank you.

[Caller (Molly or Kelly)]

Bye Bye.

[Burt]

That would be kind of fun.

[Jen]

That is your worst nightmare. Nightmare, Melissa?

[John]

Absolutely my worst nightmare. I can't think of anything fun about that sober. Like I. I can't get on a plane without my pill now.

[Burt]

You never know.

[Melissa]

I said I fly with him somewhere. I just think it'd be fun to be, I don't know, part of that experience. I would like to do it the next day or 2 cuz by June 30th that'd be an issue.

[Burt]

I missed what airline is helping him out with that.

[Jen]

Figure it out.

[Burt]

Did you guys catch that? I have to call around to find out which airline is. All the information will be up online for that dude [e-mail] I say he

[Jen]

should just jump out at 15,000ft. That'll help you face your fears.

[Burt]

Look at Javi's done it. So he's like everybody can do it.

[Melissa]

Now jump out of. What is air tramp plane?

[Burt]

Was it air tram he's working with?

[Jen]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Burt]

I think they have wi fi. You guys know that.

[Mark Malkoff]

Get it?

[Burt]

The Birch show.

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