Full Show PT 3: Thursday, December 18 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, December 18 [Vault]

Date: December 18, 2025
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

This segment from The Bert Show delivers the show’s signature blend of candid banter, listener engagement, and humor—focusing on spectacular stories of relationship drama, wild “Psycho Hall of Fame” antics, complex wedding mishaps, and a frank conversation about emotional infidelity. With listeners calling in to share their personal stories, the cast offers both laughs and true moments of empathy, creating a morning show that feels both outrageous and uncomfortably real.

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Key Segments, Insights, and Timestamps

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1. Psycho Hall of Fame Inductions (00:57–09:53)

Background & Format

• The cast reminisces about infamous “Psycho Hall of Fame” stories—personally outrageous acts committed in the name of love, jealousy, or heartbreak.
• Listeners call in to share their own “psycho” moments, with one winner being inducted after a group vote.

Notable Stories

• Stacy: The original “Psycho Hall of Famer,” who stalked her ex for three years.
  • “She’s the model on the trophy.” (01:16, D)
• Tina: Swapped out her crush’s contact’s number to monitor his calls.
  • “I got my friend to record the voicemail to say, like, Nicole... and I changed [his contacts] to my new number.” (01:35–02:29, E)

This Episode’s Nominees

1. Kimberly: The Paint Roller Incident (03:09)

   • After being locked out by her boyfriend during an argument, “I picked up a paint roller from outside and just crashed it through his window... then did the other window when he locked me out again.”
     • “Oh, so violent. Psycho Hall of Fame.” (03:40, A)
   • Married to him now: “Yeah, I know, but I’m married to him now.” (03:42, E)

2. Amy: The Hospital Panic Attack (04:12)

   • Suspecting her boyfriend was with another woman, Amy staged a fake panic attack, enlisted her roommate, and ended up in the ER for three hours to elicit sympathy and attention.
     • “Went to the emergency room, acted like I couldn’t breathe, hyperventilated for three hours, and to this day, still claim that I was having a panic attack.” (04:12, E)

3. Kerry: Police Welfare Check (06:12)

   • When ignored by her long-distance boyfriend, Kerry called local police, said she was worried about him, and had police instruct him to call her.
     • “The police went over to his apartment, knocked on the door, and said, ‘You need to call Terry back.’” (06:42, E)

Hosts’ Commentary

• On group-enabling psycho behavior: “There should be another hall for the friends that enable this kind of thing.” (05:20, B)
• “If you go psycho on a guy, he’s gonna end up being your husband.” (08:32, B)

Vote & Induction Ceremony

• Amy wins the vote, largely due to the calculated effort and accomplice angle.
  • “Amy in the hospital stay.” (07:41, A)
• Amy is sworn in with a tongue-in-cheek “Psycho Hall of Fame oath,” repeating lines like:
  • “I will no longer slash, stalk or steal... I promise to stop cracking voicemails, emails and or passwords.” (08:58–09:22, A/E)
  • “This is my official oath. So help me, Psycho Stacy.” (09:48–09:50, A/E)

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2. Maid of Honor & Wedding Disaster Stories (10:05–19:00)

The “Safety Net” vs “Maid of Dishonor”

• Melissa recounts making her friend’s wedding legal at the last moment, underlining the best of the maid of honor role: “I handled and made sure... the wedding was actually legal before they left for their honeymoon.” (10:38, C)

Worst Maid of Honor Experiences

1. Heroin in the Limo (11:09)

   • Dan recalls a maid of honor caught prepping to shoot up heroin in a car weeks before the wedding: “She got totally cut out.” (11:26, E)

2. Best Friend, Worst Maid (11:46)

   • A caller’s best friend skipped every event except to pick up her dress, resulting in the bride doing her maid of honor’s hair on wedding day:
     • “She was irresponsible back in the day, but she had gotten better—didn’t think it would be this bad.” (12:25, E)

3. Bra in Hand (13:02)

   • Maid of honor missed the ceremony to shop for a bra, arriving late and oblivious, bra-in-hand:
     • “She just barged in...with her bra hanging in her hand, not even realizing that the ceremony was almost halfway through.” (13:13, E)

4. The Ultimate Betrayal: Maid of Honor Sleeps with Bride’s Father (14:08–18:44)

   • Erica describes how her best friend (since age five) was caught by her mother “in the act” with the bride’s father during the rehearsal dinner.
     • “My mom...found this maid of honor and my dad hooking up...like, they were in the act.” (15:03–15:14, E)
   • Erica fired her friend and maintained the appearance of normalcy, but:
     • “I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle, and he and my mom...there was so much drama, but they worked stuff out.” (15:50, E)
   • “That walk is supposed to be so cool—and he took your head out of the game.” (17:26, A)
   • Her story stuns everyone; after her call, “all the phone lines were lit up...and then everybody hung up. Because they must have been going, I can’t beat that.” (16:59–17:08, B/C)

Host Reflections

• “You have to...suck it up and take it. That’s part of accepting the job [of maid of honor].” (19:25, A)
• On brides’ high expectations: “I just think they’re very demanding.” (19:47, E/C)

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3. Infidelity & Emotional Affairs (Newsweek Discussion) (20:16–34:47)

The Changing Shape of Cheating

• Based on a Newsweek article, the hosts discuss the notion that infidelity now affects both genders equally and often involves emotional rather than physical cheating.
  • “About 50% of infidelity going on is women. Now it’s not just a guy thing anymore.” (20:39, B)

Emotional Affairs: Jay’s Story

• Jay (voice disguised): Married four years, husband’s job keeps him away for long periods; she maintains intimate, non-sexual relationships with other men for companionship.
  • “Fundamentally, he still does [fulfill my needs], but...I never get to see him anymore. And we kind of both felt it wasn’t really fair for me to sit home and be alone.” (22:17–22:37, F)
  • Has shifted from one close male companion to another as they pushed for intimacy:
    • “As soon as it leans toward wanting to get physical...we just sort of cut it off.” (23:40, F)
  • Emphasizes transparency: “He knows about it, so it’s not even like I’m going behind his back.” (26:23, F)
  • “It’s just sad that she’s got this intimate relationship going on with another man that’s not her husband.” (27:21–27:29, A)

Host and Listener Reactions

• Doubting the arrangement’s viability: “She’s leading guys on, she’s dating them, and it’s wrong.” (29:04, C)
• On emotional cheating double standards:
  • “If her husband was getting the same fulfillment out of other women...would you be okay?” (31:25, B)
  • Jay: “No. No, I wouldn’t.” (31:38, F)
  • “If you’re going to do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you’re wrong.” (32:08, C)
• Realism about marriage: “They will not make 50 years this way, Bert. It’s impossible.” (33:47, C)
• Advice: “Go get some girlfriends, dude...I’m not gonna threaten my marriage or have more intimate relationships with any other man than my husband.” (34:03, A)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Psycho Hall of Fame:

  • “She’s the model on the trophy.” (01:16, D)
  • “I picked up a paint roller from outside and just crashed it through his window.” (03:11, E)
  • “I will no longer slash, stalk or steal... so help me, Psycho Stacy.” (08:58–09:50, A/E)

• On Maid of Honor Drama:

  • “They were, like, in the act.” (15:14, E)
  • “That is so selfish...takes your head out of the whole wedding. You know, it was disgusting.” (16:28, C)
  • “She wins the gold medal for maid of dishonor.” (18:44, A)

• On Emotional Cheating:

  • “She’s leading guys on, she’s dating them, and it’s wrong.” (29:04, C)
  • “If you’re gonna do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you’re wrong...that’s not what a marriage is about.” (32:08, C)
  • “Go get some girlfriends, dude...That’s therapy, my friend.” (34:03, A)
  • “Jay, I just think you need to go back and review those vows y’all exchanged… I just don’t think you’re living up to what you made that promise for.” (33:18, A)

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Summary Table of Key Segments

| Segment | Notable Stories | Main Insight/Takeaway | Memorable Quote/Host Line | |----------------------------------|-----------------------|--------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | Psycho Hall of Fame (00:57-09:53)| Amy, Kimberly, Kerry | Psycho behavior often leads to marriage | “If you go psycho on a guy, he’s gonna end up your husband.” (08:32, B) | | Maids of Dishonor (10:05-19:00) | Heroin limo, Bra, Betrayal| Weddings can be derailed by closest friends/family | “She wins the gold medal for maid of dishonor.” (18:44, A) | | Infidelity Talk (20:16-34:47) | Jay’s emotional affairs | Emotional cheating is a “gray area”; double standards exist | “If you’re gonna do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you’re wrong.” (32:08, C) |

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Episode Vibe & Takeaway

The Bert Show continues to excel at making space for both darkly funny and sincerely raw listener stories—poking fun at “psycho” antics and wedding drama while not shying away from the sadness and complexity of relational struggles. The tone ranges from raucous (inducting Amy into the “Hall of Fame”) to compassionate (empathizing with Jay’s loneliness in marriage), ensuring listeners are both entertained and comforted by the show’s candid, unfiltered perspectives.

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Best for listeners who:

• Love wild relationship stories and real talk about love, friendship, and fidelity
• Appreciate humor that veers into heartfelt territory
• Value hearing multiple perspectives—both from hosts and real listeners—on what makes (and breaks) relationships

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Most Memorable Moment:

• Erica’s story of her maid of honor sleeping with her father the night before her wedding: no story on air could top it, both for shock value and empathy from hosts and callers. (14:08–18:44)

Quote of the Episode:

• “If you go psycho on a guy, he’s gonna end up being your husband.” (08:32, B)

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Note:
Ads and non-content segments have been omitted for clarity.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

Busy, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com the first show. All right, the first person that we inducted into the Psycho hall of Fame. I mean it's like our Vince Lombardi. The first person that goes in that was Psycho Stacy. I mean she'd been stalking her ex boyfriend for three years, driving by his poker game.

[D]

She's the model on the trophy.

[B]

Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, she's like the Heisman, right? She's got that Heisman pose going on.

[C]

Except for a football in her hand. She's got a knife.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Right. Now the first person outside of Stacy that got inducted into the hall of Fame. I don't even remember this woman's name, but her story was priceless. It. Tina.

[C]

Tina.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

There was this guy that I really liked. He was like in the working world, like the young bachelor. And I was in love with him. We would go out for drinks, we'd go out for movies and dinner. But he just never wanted to actually be my boyfriend. And he used to always talk about this one girl that he met through work named Nicole. And he just talked about it all the time. Like with me, I went out and I bought another cell phone from a completely different service provider with a completely And I got my friend to record the voicemail to say, like, nicole. So it would say, you have reached the voicemail box of. And then her voice would kick in and say, nicole. And then one of the times when I hung out with him, he went to the bathroom, and I just kind of took his cell phone off the table, and he had two numbers in there for her, and I changed them both to the cell phone number.

[A]

Okay, what happened? What happened?

[E]

Well, actually, he never called me, but this way I knew every time he would call her. And. And sometimes you leave a voicemail like, hey, I'm gonna be at so and so happy hour after work if you want to meet me up there. And I would just happen to be outside the restaurant or happen to be by the bar. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

All right, so that's what gets you into the Psycho hall of Fame, right there. There's a lot of effort in that one.

[E]

It was great.

[B]

All right, so we will take your nominations for the Psycho hall of Fame and one of you gets put in today. Good morning, Kimberly. Hi. How are you this morning?

[E]

I'm good. How are you doing?

[B]

Good.

[E]

All right, well, my story is out of character for me, but I was actually. I was about 20, and I was dating this guy in college, and I liked him a lot. We got into this big fight, and he locked me out of his house when I was trying to talk to him. So I picked up a paint roller from outside and just crashed it through his window. And then he came out, and he was like, what in the heck is wrong with you? And he shut the door again, and so I did the other window.

[A]

Oh, so violent. Psycho hall of Fame.

[E]

Yeah, I know, but I'm married to him now.

[B]

Oh, then maybe he's the psycho.

[E]

I was like, 20. I'm 25 now. It was the one. I don't lose my temper very often, but it was bad.

[B]

Serious anger management classes. Hold on one sec. All right, Kimberly. All right, that's nominee number one. And good morning. We are calling this woman now. You know, if you're using a fake name on Psycho hall of Fame, chances are pretty good you're gonna get in today. Hey, Amy.

[F]

Hey.

[E]

Okay, this is not out of character for me, so let me go ahead and say that this man is my husband now as well. But I couldn't find him. I didn't know where he was. I suspected he was with another woman. So I started scheming. My roommate and I came up with. I was going to have a panic attack, and she was Going to take me to the hospital. So when he called looking for me, they were going to say, oh, Amy's in the hospital. You know, she's sick. And so I went completely through with this, went to the emergency room, acted like I couldn't breathe, hyperventilated for three hours, and to this day, still claim that I was having a panic attack.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

So when was he cheating?

[E]

I don't know. But he did come to the hospital, and I did get him to stop whatever he was doing, so.

[B]

And it all seems like such a great idea at the time.

[A]

Like Melissa said, so calculating. We are so calculating.

[C]

Absolutely.

[D]

It's frightening.

[B]

And she has, like, accomplices, too. That's the thing. Like, there should be, like, your friends around. You should go, okay, that's a little psycho. But, no, they're just as crazy as you are.

[A]

We go right along with it. What, now?

[E]

It's a desperate time.

[B]

There should be another hall for the friends that enable this kind of thing.

[D]

They go frames hall of Fame.

[A]

I was an enabler once, back in the day, when I was in high school. One of my friends was so obsessed with this guy. His name was Peter, and I can't remember his last name, but she actually got so psycho over him that I was with her when she slashed his tires so that he couldn't go on a date with some girl he had a date with that night.

[B]

See, but women feed other women about that. You should do it. You should put a knife to his wheels is what you ought to do. Get it, girl. Get it. He deserves it.

[A]

And her thought was that he's gonna have to spend all of his money to replace those tires rather than spend his money on the other girl he was dating.

[B]

Hey, Carrie.

[D]

Slashing tires. I wouldn't even know how to slash a tire. I ended up cutting myself.

[B]

Jen will teach you how. Dark side, Jen, Right. Hey, Kerry.

[D]

And you broke his toes.

[C]

Burt.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Hey, good morning. How are you?

[B]

Good, thank you. How are you?

[E]

I'm doing good, thanks. My boyfriend lived in Alabama. I lived in Missouri. It was very late at night one night, and we got in a big fight on the phone, and I kept calling him back, and he kept yelling at me to quit calling. He was tired, so he eventually unplugged the phone from the wall. So I called the police in the town he lived in, and I made up a story that there was a knock on his door, and now I can't get through to him. And the police went over to his apartment, knocked on the door, and said, you need to call Terry back.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[E]

And can I tell you that I've been married to him 10 years now.

[B]

This is a reoccurring theme. We got ourselves a reoccurring theme.

[A]

Oh, man. It's the Marriage Psycho hall of fame.

[E]

Today, 10 years Saturday.

[B]

All right, hold on one second. Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

All right, our three nominees. Then. What we have is the woman that threw the paint roller into the window.

[A]

Two different windows.

[B]

Two different windows. Then you have the Amy who faked her panic attack and went to the hospital so her boy ex boyfriend would have some kind of sympathy. And then you have the last one here, which was Carrie, who sent the police over to her ex boyfriend's house to tell him to pick up the phone.

[A]

Oh, these are good.

[B]

Where you going, Melissa?

[C]

I love the cop thing, but I think because of time invested and the friend angle that is involved. I go with Amy in the hospital stay.

[B]

Amy in the hospital stay.

[A]

I gotta second that one. Amy in the hospital.

[D]

I respect the fact that Kerry was willing to commit a felony filing a false police report in order to get her boyfriend to call her. I can sympathize with the boyfriend because girls just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. And I can understand the unplugging of the phone. My vote is for Felonious Carrie Kerry.

[B]

And I am going to go with the girls on this. And I'm going with Amy. Amy.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Congratulations.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

You have been inducted into the virtual Psycho hall of Fame. And you know what?

[C]

As a woman, I think that the theme through all of this is. Guys, don't cut your girlfriends off when you're talking to me. That's what happened in all three of these instances is the guys either shut the door, hung up the phone, or just, I guess, decided there's gotta be a limit.

[D]

Like, can it be four hours?

[B]

Well, the good news.

[D]

Can't you say in four hours?

[B]

The good news is, is that if you go psycho on a guy, he's gonna end up being your husband.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

All right, now, Amy, before we put you into the Psycho hall of Fame, there is an oath that you must take.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

All right, Jen, please repeat after me.

[A]

I, Amy, solemnly swear to uphold the ideals.

[E]

I, Amy, solemnly swear to hold the.

[A]

Ideal of the Birchos. Psycho hall of Fame.

[E]

Of the Birch Show. Psycho hall of Fame.

[A]

I will no longer slash, stalk or steal.

[E]

I will no longer slash, stock or steal.

[A]

And I promise to throw out all mementos.

[E]

And I promise to throw out all mementos.

[A]

Reminding Me of my insane obsession.

[E]

Reminding me of my insane obsession.

[A]

I promise to stop cracking voicemails.

[E]

I promise to stop cracking voicemails.

[A]

Emails and or passwords.

[E]

Emails and or passwords.

[A]

I now realize. I now realize that plotting anything while under the influence is never a good idea.

[E]

That plotting anything while under the influence is never a good idea.

[A]

And of course, I will never fake another panic attack and go to the hospital.

[E]

Of course I will never fake another panic attack and go to the hospital.

[A]

This is my official oath.

[E]

This is my official oath.

[A]

So help me, Psycho Stacy.

[E]

So help me, Psycho Stacy.

[A]

There you go, Amy.

[B]

You have been inducted. The Bird Show. Melissa Carter with the quintessential example of how a maid of honor can be your safety net.

[C]

Right. I was a maid of honor for my childhood best friend all growing up. She asked me to be her maid of honor. And one thing the maid of honor and best man also do in a wedding is they are the official witnesses of this wedding. So on the marriage certificate, you need their signatures in order for the marriage to be legal. And so I guess it was an oversight by the minister. I don't know what happened. But at the reception, instead of the minister going to the bride to explain to her, oh, by the way, you're really not legally married yet because there's a signature missing or something, he came to me and I handled and made sure that in the end the wedding was actually legal before they left for their honeymoon.

[B]

And, I mean, that's really what it's all about right there. But when does your maid of honor become your maid of dishonor? When she does something so bad or something so horrid that she completely hacks the wedding. Hey, Dan, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[E]

Hey. Morning.

[B]

Morning.

[E]

Didn't hack the wedding, but about three weeks out, my cousin in Boston takes her maid of honor and some friends to a concert. The maid of honor is in the back seat with another friend, and for one reason or another, she turns around and actually sees her getting ready to take a heroin kind of shot thing with the rubber thing around the arm and the syringe.

[D]

You don't want to be toying with a syringe in a moving car.

[E]

But it was, yeah, three weeks out, and then she got totally cut out. And, you know, I got this second hand from the sister because it was like a real taboo type issue.

[B]

So the maid of honor was doing heroin, Shooting up heroin three weeks before.

[A]

The wedding on the way to the concert. Yeah, that's dishonorable.

[B]

Yeah. That'll turn you off a little bit. Sure.

[A]

That doesn't look good in a bridesmaid's dress, honey.

[B]

Morning. All the hits. Q100. Hey.

[E]

Good morning.

[B]

Good morning.

[E]

I had the maid of honor from hell.

[B]

Who was this person? Was this sister? Best friend?

[E]

Best friend.

[B]

Best friend?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Ex best friend, I assume.

[E]

Yeah, Pretty much. Didn't show up for my bridal shower. Didn't come to my bachelorette party. Did not help me plan anything. Showed up to get her dress that I bought, and then I had to have her spend the night with me the night before the wedding, so that way I'd make sure she was at the church on time and ended up doing her hair before my wedding.

[B]

Why do you. Why are you picking, like, you. She was.

[E]

Yeah, I had to do her hair.

[A]

You're the bride, right?

[B]

She's doing the maid of honor's hair. Well, you. If she's your best friend, you must have known that she was pretty irresponsible.

[E]

Well, she was irresponsible back in the day, but she had gotten better, and I didn't think it would be this bad. But, like, the night of my bachelorette party, she called me. She was like, okay, I'll be there in 45 minutes. And so we all met at the restaurant, and 45 minutes came, we saw it, and ordered. So the whole party is waiting on her. And finally I said, you know what? Screw this. I'm gonna have fun without her. And we just went on.

[A]

She was a no show the whole night.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And there at your wedding, you're doing her hair.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Rude.

[E]

It was bad.

[B]

Totally rude. Thank you. Hey, Nancy. Nancy.

[E]

Yes, hi.

[B]

You're made of dishonor.

[E]

Okay, well, my husband was in a wedding. This was not my wedding. But anyway, he was a groomsman, and the bride's sister was the maid of honor. And the morning of the wedding, she went to look for a bra to wear with the dress and never showed up for the wedding until the middle of the ceremony and just barged in. In the middle of the ceremony with her bra hanging in her hand, not even realizing that the ceremony was, you know, almost halfway through.

[B]

She got the wrong time, right?

[E]

Well, I don't know. We never found out the details. We just know that, you know, she. She was a nice show.

[C]

And then she.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah, no, that is definitely a story relayed through your husband because a woman would know all the details of that. Your husband comes home from that, and he's like, oh, yeah, the maid of honor shows up in the middle of ceremony with a bra in her hand or something. That's all he knows. Like, I had been at that wedding. If I had just been a guest at that wedding, I would have known every single detail.

[B]

Hey, Erica, you're on all the hits Q100 high.

[E]

I have. Yeah. The ultimate maid of dishonor story.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

I got married about three years ago, and my husband and I just. We always thought Malibu, California, was the most beautiful place we had ever been. So that's where we had the ceremony. Just, you know, everybody flew in, and we all stayed in a hotel. My maid of honor was my best friend. Like, I'd known her since I was five years old. You know, just the whole time we were growing up, we were really good friends, so she was like a family friend, too. And then the night of the rehearsal dinner, which we had in the hotel restaurant, I was just, like, relaxing. I mean, all the hard stuff had been taken care of. I had a few drinks. We were just having a really good time. And I guess it was like a little after midnight. My mom came and found me, and she was really upset, and she pulled me aside. She found. She just walked, you know, she'd said good night. She'd gone up to her room, and she found this maid of honor and my dad hooking up.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

No.

[B]

Now, hooking up has different definitions, but in this case, I don't think it matters. But were they sleeping with each other or.

[E]

They were. Yeah, they were, like, in the act.

[F]

Oh.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And I mean, this girl had known my father since she was like five years old. Like. Yeah.

[A]

And your father, on the night before he walks you down the aisle.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I mean, I had to fire. I fired her. Like, I mean, you know, like, I confronted her and I was like, look, you know, you're out of the. You're out of the bridal party. Like, I don't care what you do, but I don't want even want you at the wedding. Just, like, disappear.

[B]

Well, at that point, everything's ruined because now you got this thing going on with your mom and your dad.

[C]

And your dad, too.

[E]

I mean, well, I just. I fired her. I told the bridal party that she had a family emergency and she to leave. Never. I haven't spoken to her since. I mean, it's been like three years, so I don't know, like, what's going on with her now. But, yeah, I just didn't want the bridal. I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle, you know? And he and my mom just, I mean, there was so much drama, but they, they worked stuff out.

[B]

You know, I hadn't even thought of that angle. So.

[E]

Yeah, they like, they were, I mean, God bless them, they like, they just like, they were like troopers through the. I mean, my mom was like a real trooper through the whole wedding. And then, I don't know.

[C]

But that is so selfish because the thing is, here you are going down the aisle at your own wedding, and I'm sure in your mind, as you're arm in arm with your father, I mean, that's just. It takes your head out of the whole wedding. You know, it was disgusting.

[E]

And I mean, I had to ask one of my bridesmaids. I mean, I love her dearly, but I'm not nearly as close to her as I used to be to that girl. I asked her to step up and be my maid of honor. I mean, it was just the one.

[D]

Who will not be named.

[E]

Right, Right.

[B]

I just saw the funniest thing happen. All the phone lines were lit up with people with stories about maids of dishonor. And then you came on and then everybody hung up. Because they must have been going like.

[C]

I can't beat that. She won.

[E]

That's was really hard.

[B]

Well, think about this also. Cause you must have had so much resentment towards your father, yet he still had to walk you down the aisle the next day.

[E]

Yeah, it was kind of the longest walk of my life, I think probably for him too.

[A]

Oh, and that's the worst too, because that walk is supposed to be so cool. And like Melissa said, he took your head out of the game. Like your head is supposed to be focused on, you know, your love for your soon to be husband and these commitments and these vows you're about to make to each other.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Like it was supposed to be a day about, you know, me and my husband. And it became, I mean. Yeah, it became about something else.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Did your fiance. Did you tell your fiance before the wedding?

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was so upset that I'm sure.

[B]

How do you keep that secret?

[C]

Yeah, well. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so everybody in the way. Everybody. This big secret that you couldn't tell your bridesmaids, he couldn't tell his groomsmen, but you two and your parents all knew what was going on.

[E]

Uh huh.

[A]

And your poor mom having to hold it together.

[E]

I know. She's like a saint. Thank God.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Annoying her now.

[A]

You know, she had to sit next to your dad during that ceremony.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man. Boy, what an Academy Award they dance.

[E]

Together at the reception.

[B]

That's an Academy Award right there. That is. Oh, unbelievable. And then, you know, when you look back, you want to look back at the memories of your wedding as though it was the most precious day of your life. You've got this.

[E]

Steals it. Yeah. That's like.

[C]

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

[A]

She wins the gold medal for made of dishonor.

[B]

Sorry, Erica, but thank you for sharing.

[D]

Thanks for joining the rest of the segment.

[B]

Yeah. Bye now.

[A]

Nobody else is on the phone.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. That's it, man. They heard that story and checked out.

[A]

That kills that one.

[B]

Hey, Charity.

[E]

Hey, good morning. Good morning. How are you?

[B]

Fine.

[E]

This is completely unrelated to the last caller, but I think half the time, the maid of honors act the way they do because the brides are horrible.

[B]

You see, I almost think maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, but I think, like, the maid of honor almost has to go in knowing that her best friend or sister or whatever is gonna have one of these breakdowns or is gonna be kind of a different person for a while.

[A]

You have to. As a maid of honor, you have to suck it up and take it. That's part of accepting the job.

[B]

Am I wrong, Charity?

[E]

Well, I think to some degree that they can. They can act whichever way they want to as far as breaking down, but they're demanding. They have seven showers, or they're expecting you to be at everything at every any day. You know, I just think they're very demanding.

[C]

Well, I mean, I kind of agree with Jen and Bert that I think the bride has the right to be. I think as a woman who is asked to be a maid of honor, you have to know what you're getting into. And if you accept it, like Jen said, you got to suck it up. If you don't think you can do it or handle it, then maybe you talk about. Well, I don't have time to, you know, do. Use justice with your way. You know, like, you can turn it down. You can, you know, but I think you have to come up with a really good excuse. But if you're gonna. If you're gonna complain about it and it's gonna ruin your friendship, I think you should turn it down.

[F]

Get it?

[B]

The Birch Show. The COVID of Newsweek magazine says the new infidelity. From office affairs to Internet hookups, more wives are cheating, too. And it now claims that about 50% of infidelity going on is women. Now it's not just a guy thing anymore.

[A]

It's so sad. The whole Infidelity thing is so sad. It's like monogamy's dead. I like that.

[C]

I continue to contend that it's just laziness and selfishness.

[D]

Monogamy is just lazy. It's not dead.

[C]

No, no, no.

[D]

It's just sleeping 18 hours.

[B]

No.

[C]

Being non monogamous is being lazy. Absolutely being lazy.

[B]

Yeah, I think it probably does come to that. Down to that eventually. You know, this Newsweek article is really great, though. I mean, it really breaks down about why people think the reasons are everybody's kind of screwing around on each other. And it's a. It's an incredible article. And there's one section in it that focuses on women that are going outside of their marriages, but not for anything physical. So they've got these guy friends that are sending them flowers or that are obviously attracted to them, and they are filling some kind of emotional need for the woman that their husband hasn't been able to fill. And they don't really consider it cheating. They just.

[C]

Of course not. Because they're benefiting from it. Of course it's not cheating because they're getting the flowers and they're getting the satisfaction. But, you know, if the roles were reversed and a woman was sending their husband's flowers, they would be livid.

[B]

Sure. All right, Jeff, we're gonna need the voice disguiser, because Jay here is one of the women that Newsweek magazine talks about. This is a woman that has. Is married, but has a lot of quote unquote friends that just make her feel really great.

[C]

Guy friends.

[B]

Guy friends that her husband doesn't fulfill anymore. Just these needs that the husband's not fulfilling. Good morning, Jay.

[E]

Hello.

[B]

Hi. How are you?

[F]

I'm just fine, thank you.

[B]

How long have you been married?

[F]

For four years.

[B]

Only four years?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And how long were you guys dating before you got married?

[F]

Oh, for about two and a half, three years.

[B]

Okay, so let's say seven and a half. Seven. Seven and a half years overall. And when you first started dating your current husband, was he the kind of guy that fulfilled all your needs, made you feel great about yourself physically, told you how beautiful you were?

[F]

And absolutely and fundamentally he still does. But at the time, he was working toward the job that he has now, which is incredibly high pressure, very demanding, and I never get to see him anymore. And we kind of both felt it wasn't really fair for me to sit home and be alone. And I have a lot of work functions and charity functions and things that I have to do that, you know, generally somebody should be there with Me. And so I kind of, you know, met one of these guys at work, and we had been seeing each other for about a year. He's wonderful. He's like a best friend. Great companionship. He's just really a special person.

[C]

Now, Jay, you mentioned just a minute ago that you and your husband both felt it was unfair for you to sit alone. Like, does your husband know of what you're doing outside the marriage?

[F]

Yes, he does.

[A]

So he knows about this guy and knows how much time you spend with him?

[F]

Well, actually, I'm not seeing, or whatever you want to call it, that particular gentleman anymore. We saw each other for about a year, but then, just as some of your listeners were saying, he kind of leaned toward wanting to get physical. And I told him from the beginning, I'm married. He knows I'm married, and it was never going to come to that. I love my husband, and that was the end of it. So because he wanted more out of the relationship, we just sort of cut it off. And I've been saying someone else for, I guess about three and a half, four months now. And it's the same type of thing. He comes to events with me. We go to the movies. Maybe he would, you know, I don't know. I think maybe once he held my hand. But, you know, it's sort of like girlfriends. But when you're in certain social situations, you really need to have a guy there.

[B]

But now there's an obvious attraction on the guy's part towards you, though, correct?

[F]

Well, I think there's an attraction on both parts, but it's not an attraction that you want to, you know, take any further than that. You know, you're attracted to your. I'm attracted to my female friends, too. But, you know, there's something that makes you like each other, but it doesn't mean that it has to go any further than that.

[B]

So what is he giving you besides time? What is he giving you that your husband is not? What is he saying that your husband is not?

[F]

Well, it's kind of like what is he saying? And doing that at this particular time, my husband doesn't have time to do because he's not with me. You know, he gives me a lot of attention. He makes me feel special. He flatters me. But fundamentally, it's still the companionship. You know, I need to attend these events, and I want to go out and have a good time. I need somebody to be with.

[C]

Jay, you keep talking about the events, and I understand that. And you say in certain social situations, blah, blah, Blah. But you just mentioned you went to the movies with this guy. That's not a certain social situation which you have to take a guy.

[F]

Well, you know, I guess in that situation, I could have picked a girlfriend. But it seems as though most of my girlfriends have husbands who their jobs aren't as demanding and don't take them away from their wives as much. So it was just a fun thing. We went to the movies. You've gone to the movies with a guy friend. No biggie. You know, it's not like there's no sex. There's no romance. There's friendship and kindness, and that's about it.

[B]

Melissa's shaking her head.

[C]

I'm just shaking my head because anybody will find any excuse whatsoever to steer the, you know, justification for their actions. Because, yes, your girlfriends may have husbands who don't work as much, but, I mean, most married women still have time to go to the movies together. And I just think that you were purposely choosing these guys to go. You're going on dates with these guys. And it's. That's totally different than a girlfriend thing.

[F]

Well, you know what, though? The one thing that's really different is if my husband says, you know what? I'm absolutely going to be home on Wednesday night and, you know, like, what are you doing? I drop everything. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. A charity event, something with this guy. You know, one of these events, he comes first, and I love him, and I don't have sex with anybody else but him. And the sex is great. It's just. This is a companionship type thing, and he knows about it, so it's not even like I'm going behind his back.

[A]

Doesn't it feel a little bit sad to you? Like, I'm listening to your story and it sounds like, you know what, Everything's on the up and up. But to me, it's just sad. It's just sad that, like, these intimate conversations or this time that you're spending is with somebody else and not your husband. It just. To me, it's like, it's gotta make you sad or it's somewhere you're just, like, lonely. And I don't know, to me that.

[B]

You just can't be totally fulfilled by one man.

[A]

It's just. To me, it's just sad that she's got this intimate relationship going on with another man that's not her husband. It just makes me sad to listen to.

[F]

Well, you know what?

[D]

Stuff like this doesn't happen in Hobbyville. When it happens in the, it's crushing when it happens outside in the black and white world. It's just sad.

[F]

There are times I agree with you, you know, for me, it's a wishful thing. I wish it could be another way, I really do. But I kind of look at it like other than anybody's husband, you have, you know, in huge quotes, intimate relationships with other people. You know, you guys all work together and then you go home. Your relationship with the people you work together is intimate in its own way. And so these are different parts. You know, maybe it would be great if you could work with your husband or be with you. I know. I would rather, trust me, I would rather he didn't have a job that was so demanding and he could be home a little bit, you know, I mean, he's gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time.

[B]

Hey Jay, I want to put you on hold for a second. I can't put callers on with you because then everybody will be on the voice disguiser and it just sounds weird. So I'm gonna put you on hold, take a couple calls and come back. All right?

[F]

Okay, thank you.

[B]

Uh huh.

[D]

She's so polite and appreciative.

[B]

Yeah, well, you know what, I wonder if there aren't some guys listening and go, wow, I wish I had that deal. I wish I didn't have to do anything in my relationship except have sex with my wife. That if there was another guy out there that was giving her everything emotionally that she needed and I was the guy that, that, that she called when problems were occurring and she could leave that with somebody else and I would just come home, spend time with the kids and have sex with my wife. And that was my only role. I wonder if there aren't guys listening going, that'd be great, then why be married?

[C]

Why be married? I agree that one person shouldn't, should have to fulfill every single aspect of your life. But when you purposely go out with only guys, and I mean, like she's date, she is dating, she's leading guys on, she's dating them and it's, it's wrong. I mean, I don't know, I, it's.

[B]

Just like any other relationship, there's a breakup at the end of the year and then she moves on to the next guy even though she's married to somebody else.

[C]

And. But the thing is, I do have to defend Jaylen as her husband knows every action she takes. I mean, I can't, I can't fault her for that. He knows.

[A]

Does he really know?

[D]

Yeah, he Knows.

[C]

Based on what Jay said he knows.

[B]

Hey, Ray. Go ahead.

[E]

I don't think you know, there's a couple things. If her husband knows everything, why is she on the voice disguiser? For one.

[C]

That's a good point.

[A]

Good point.

[E]

Two things is she says she wants, she would love for her relationship to be different. Everyone has the power to make the relationship different. It's whether she chooses to make it different or not. Her and her husband both. If their relationship is more important than their careers, then they'll make that a priority. And the third point is, if this woman doesn't think she's going to fall in love with someone else, she's absolutely crazy.

[B]

Yeah, that's what some of these women were saying in Newsweek. Also, that this whole relationship started the same way Jay's did with another guy, where it was simply platonic. And like I said, he'd send her flowers, or when she walked in the door, he would tell her how beautiful she looked. And that's intoxicating. She felt special again, and it stayed platonic for a while, and then she fell in love and didn't realize it until it was too late. Blah, blah, blah.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Good morning. All the hits. Q100.

[E]

Hey, y'. All. Fundamentally, she's full of crap. She seems to like that word. Well, I got news for you. I've been married going on almost 33 years, and there is no way I would either do this to my husband or let's turn it around. How would she like it the other way around? I got news for you. The woman won't be married another five more years. And if her life's that unimportant to her, she needs to go ahead and get the hell on.

[B]

And I love.

[C]

And the thing is, I guarantee when we get J back on the voice disguiser, she wouldn't have a problem with her husband doing like. No, of course, when somebody is defending their position and they're benefiting from the situation, theoretically, if you gave him any other scenario, oh, I'd be fine with no problem.

[B]

No problem.

[C]

Crap.

[B]

Can we get the voice disguiser back on there? All right.

[E]

There you go.

[B]

A.J.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, let's ask you the same question. If your husband was getting the same fulfillment out of other women, but there was nothing physical going on, would you be okay with him having the same kind of relationships outside of your marriage that you're having?

[F]

No. No, I wouldn't. And as I said, I wish this wasn't the case. And that caller might be right. I mean, eventually, it might Lead to divorce or whatever. I mean, I guess I didn't count on when we got married that this was gonna happen, you know, that he was gonna be gone for so long, and, you know, it's definitely a problem. It is as it is right now, and I certainly would not want him to do the same thing.

[C]

And that right there is a sin against your marriage. If you're gonna do something that you would not be happy with him doing, then you're wrong. I mean, the marriage is gonna fail. You can't. It's not. It can't be so imbalanced like that. You can't get something that he can't have.

[F]

Well, that's true. That's true.

[C]

I mean, that's not what a marriage is about.

[F]

I know. I know, but it gets incredibly lonely, months at a time. And like I said, he even knows the guys. He knows them. You know, he's here sometimes when they're here, and, you know, on his way out or whatever. But, you know, you're absolutely right. It's a problem. It can be a problem.

[C]

The fact that you even have a guy there when you have time to. To spend with your husband. And you just said that one of those guys is at the house while your husband is there. You're completely wrong.

[F]

On his way out.

[E]

On his way out.

[C]

Oh, that's better. Bye, honey.

[A]

Here.

[C]

I'm gonna have this guy in the living room while I'm kissing you at the door.

[B]

You're wrong.

[D]

Can you imagine Ryan coming home from, like, being on the road or something? The bus pulls up and drops him off. And as he's walking in, because he's been working so hard, one of your guy friends is leaving. Hey, see you later.

[B]

Hey, see you, Ryan.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Yeah. No, not cool. I just. Jay, I just think you need to go back and review those vows y' all exchanged on your wedding day, because I just don't think you're living up to what you made that promise for. And I just think it's sad. I think that your husband has to be more sad about it than maybe you even realize.

[B]

If the relationship stayed together for 50 years like this, though, would you say she's doing the right thing still?

[A]

No, I still think that's together for.

[F]

50 years like this. It's very difficult. It really is. I'll give you that.

[C]

They will not make 50 years this way, Bert. It's impossible.

[B]

But nothing physical ever happens with these guys. And as soon as it does, you cancel it out.

[F]

Absolutely nothing has ever happened. And even the prospect of it ends the friendship.

[A]

Yeah, go get some girlfriends, dude. My husband's gone for weeks and months at a time, too. And I got great girlfriends, and that's who I spend time with. You know, I'm not gonna threaten my marriage or have more intimate relationships with any other man than my husband. Because you got girlfriends to do that, you know, Bottled wine. That's therapy, my friend.

[B]

Hey, Jay, I want to tell you, as you're talking and Jen's talking to you, she's almost crying about it.

[A]

I know. It's just so sad.

[D]

Some of those massages the crash give you are borderline too intimate. When he's doing your shoulders, and next thing you know, he's cupping your boobs.

[A]

Oh, come on.

[D]

I don't know how appropriate that is.

[B]

Hey, Jay, we're gonna let you go, but it's crashed. You're on the Burch show.

[A]

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[B]

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