The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, February 12 [Vault]

Original Air Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Bert ("Birch"), Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & co-hosts Steve, Stacy, Melissa
Featured Segments: Listener drama (baby name disputes), family wedding tension, pet separation anxiety, and a "Love Lost and Found" roller derby romance.

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into a variety of relatable, real-life listener dramas and funny, honest conversations among the cast. Main themes include emotional etiquette among friends and families (with a heated baby name debate), navigating tricky family wedding dynamics, tips for handling misbehaving pets, and the light-hearted quest for romance via the “Love Lost and Found” segment. True to style, the show offers heartfelt advice, entertaining banter, and a dose of playful teasing, drawing listeners right into the cast’s world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Baby Name Drama Among Friends

(01:29 – 10:44)

Scenario:
Travis calls in, upset that his close friend is naming his impending son "Broden" (nicknamed Brody), a near-copy of Travis’s 8-year-old son’s name, Brody.

Highlights:

• Travis’s Frustration: He feels betrayed by a 17-year friendship, citing the unique name and the close-knit friend group.

  "I was just. I definitely wanted to vent about it...it's just disrespectful." – Travis (03:57)

• Debate on 'Name Stealing': The hosts agree the friend’s justification ("it's different, we just added an N") feels weak.

  "He straight up stole your name." – Bert (04:24)

• Mixed Reactions from Callers: One suggests Travis should feel honored, others empathize, especially given the rareness of the name.
• Wives' Perspectives: Both wives are uncomfortable, seeing it as “jacked up.”
• Resolution: Travis says he won’t end the friendship, but the justification bothers him more than the act itself.
• Co-hosts’ Banter: Playful suggestions about calling the new kid "N" or “Kevin” instead of Brody to stick it to the friend.

Notable Quotes:

• "If you wanted to say, 'Hey man, we can't think of a name and we just want it, we're copying, sorry' – that's that. But now the whole justification about it being different and I'm off base, that's what's upsetting me." – Travis (05:28)
• "In a group of friends, if your children are going to grow up together, you don't want two of them to have the same name." – Stacy (03:35)
• "I'm curious, what do the wives think?" – Steve (05:57)

2. Wedding Pictures & Awkward Family Dynamics

(13:21 – 20:11)

Scenario:
Julie calls back with an update on her father’s girlfriend, “Sarah,” fearing she’s a gold-digger and not a good match. Previously, Julie was struggling with whether Sarah should be in family wedding photos.

Highlights:

• Ultimatum Drama: Julie gave Sarah an ultimatum – stay out of most pictures and she won’t reveal Sarah’s marital history to her dad.
  • Hosts critique this as unnecessary:

    "There was no need for the ultimatum. She already told you beforehand that she understood the picture thing..." – Bert (16:07)

• Dad’s Uncharacteristic Behavior: Julie observed her dad drinking heavily at the wedding, feeling it was out of character and blaming Sarah.
• Hosts Encourage Perspective: Co-hosts suggest Julie is fixated on Sarah as the source of all problems, questioning if her need to “fix” things is healthy.
  • "I think you got tunnel vision...everything’s going to end up being this girlfriend’s fault..." – Stacy (19:57)
• Conclusion: Despite tension, the main issue (Sarah in pictures) was resolved, and Julie got married.

Notable Quotes:

• "You have to be the fixer of all these things. Why it’s your responsibility?" – Stacy (19:41)
• "You got what you wanted...but now your dad drank a little more than usual, so now that’s the issue..." – Bert (17:55)

3. Pet Regression, Anxiety, and Solutions

(20:26 – 27:15)

Scenario:
Steve shares his two miniature schnauzers’ (Miles and Parker) regression—accidents, separation anxiety—since moving between two homes.

Highlights:

• Behavioral Regression: Dogs “acting like puppies again,” accidents, chewing.
  • "They’re like having accidents on the floor...chewing stuff they’re not supposed to...completely reversing all those things we taught them." – Steve (20:44)
• Dog Emotions: Discussion on how dogs, as pack animals, are sensitive to their owner’s stress and major changes.
  • "Dogs’ emotions are reflective of yours. If they see you upset, they get upset." – Stacy (22:15)
• Advice from Listeners:
  • Temporary Medication: Klonopin can help for short-term anxiety.
  • Pheromone Plug-ins: Dog Appeasing Pheromone (DAP) recommended as a holistic option.
  • "If you don’t want to go the drug route, the DAP...does work." – Caller Stephanie (26:28)
• Comedy in Solutions: Joking about “drugging the dogs” as the modern go-to answer for pet and child behavioral issues.

Notable Quotes:

• "The argument used to be as a society, we’re putting our kids on drugs...now it’s our dogs too." – Bert (27:08)
• "So we’re drugging our dogs now?" – Steve (26:18)

4. Love Lost and Found: Roller Derby Romance

(28:25 – 33:35)

Scenario:
Tiffany (“Pretty Violent”), a roller derby player, contacts the show to locate a guy she met at a derby event—Linwood Wright (“Mr. Right”), hoping for another chance after missing him at the afterparty.

Highlights:

• The Search: After Tiffany left clues, the show found Linwood and connected the pair live on air.
• Why He Didn’t Pursue: Linwood explains he had too much to drink and wanted to make a good first impression.
  • "Me and Mr. Beer were having one too many. I am not gonna embarrass myself stepping to a young lady like that, that's just not cool." – Linwood (31:33)
• Cute Roller Derby Nicknames: Tiffany decides if they become “a couple,” he'll be “Mr. Pretty.”
• Connection and Playful Teasing: Both are excited to reconnect, with the hosts cheering on the blossoming connection.

Notable Quotes:

• "If she went through all that to meet me, I’m damn sure down to meet her." – Linwood (32:18)
• "Well, I can’t rely on him to initiate things, so how about you give me his number?" – Tiffany (33:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Name-Stealing:
  "He straight up stole your name." – Bert (04:24)
• On Friendship Boundaries:
  "In a group of friends...you don't want two of them to have the same name." – Stacy (03:35)
• On Wedding Drama:
  "There was no need for the ultimatum...She already told you beforehand..." – Bert (16:07)
• On Dog Behavior:
  "Dogs’ emotions are reflective of yours..." – Stacy (22:15)
• On Connecting Two Listeners:
  "If she went through all that to meet me, I’m damn sure down to meet her." – Linwood (32:18)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:29 – 10:44] – Baby Name Drama (Travis, Brody vs. Broden)
• [13:21 – 20:11] – Wedding Photo/Girlfriend Ultimatum (Julie)
• [20:26 – 27:15] – Pet Anxiety Advice (Steve & Callers)
• [28:25 – 33:35] – Love Lost and Found: Pretty Violent & Mr. Right

Tone & Style

The cast maintains an empathic yet comedic and very conversational tone throughout, mixing practical suggestions with playful teasing and quick-witted comments. Listener participation and real-life scenarios are handled both with warmth and humor, making even tense discussions feel accessible and engaging.

Summary Takeaways

• Naming kids within close social circles can spark surprising drama—honesty is key!
• Navigating blended families at major life events is tough, but boundaries matter.
• Pets pick up on stress and life changes; holistic and medical solutions are available, but patience is important.
• Love finds a way—even if it takes a morning show & a roller derby nickname.
• The Bert Show crew delivers insightful, compassionate, and hilarious takes on real listener problems.