Full Show PT 3: Thursday, February 12 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, February 12 [Vault]

Original Air Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Bert ("Birch"), Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & co-hosts Steve, Stacy, Melissa
Featured Segments: Listener drama (baby name disputes), family wedding tension, pet separation anxiety, and a "Love Lost and Found" roller derby romance.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into a variety of relatable, real-life listener dramas and funny, honest conversations among the cast. Main themes include emotional etiquette among friends and families (with a heated baby name debate), navigating tricky family wedding dynamics, tips for handling misbehaving pets, and the light-hearted quest for romance via the “Love Lost and Found” segment. True to style, the show offers heartfelt advice, entertaining banter, and a dose of playful teasing, drawing listeners right into the cast’s world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Baby Name Drama Among Friends

(01:29 – 10:44)

Scenario:
Travis calls in, upset that his close friend is naming his impending son "Broden" (nicknamed Brody), a near-copy of Travis’s 8-year-old son’s name, Brody.

Highlights:

• Travis’s Frustration: He feels betrayed by a 17-year friendship, citing the unique name and the close-knit friend group.

  "I was just. I definitely wanted to vent about it...it's just disrespectful." – Travis (03:57)

• Debate on 'Name Stealing': The hosts agree the friend’s justification ("it's different, we just added an N") feels weak.

  "He straight up stole your name." – Bert (04:24)

• Mixed Reactions from Callers: One suggests Travis should feel honored, others empathize, especially given the rareness of the name.
• Wives' Perspectives: Both wives are uncomfortable, seeing it as “jacked up.”
• Resolution: Travis says he won’t end the friendship, but the justification bothers him more than the act itself.
• Co-hosts’ Banter: Playful suggestions about calling the new kid "N" or “Kevin” instead of Brody to stick it to the friend.

Notable Quotes:

• "If you wanted to say, 'Hey man, we can't think of a name and we just want it, we're copying, sorry' – that's that. But now the whole justification about it being different and I'm off base, that's what's upsetting me." – Travis (05:28)
• "In a group of friends, if your children are going to grow up together, you don't want two of them to have the same name." – Stacy (03:35)
• "I'm curious, what do the wives think?" – Steve (05:57)

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2. Wedding Pictures & Awkward Family Dynamics

(13:21 – 20:11)

Scenario:
Julie calls back with an update on her father’s girlfriend, “Sarah,” fearing she’s a gold-digger and not a good match. Previously, Julie was struggling with whether Sarah should be in family wedding photos.

Highlights:

• Ultimatum Drama: Julie gave Sarah an ultimatum – stay out of most pictures and she won’t reveal Sarah’s marital history to her dad.
  • Hosts critique this as unnecessary:

    "There was no need for the ultimatum. She already told you beforehand that she understood the picture thing..." – Bert (16:07)

• Dad’s Uncharacteristic Behavior: Julie observed her dad drinking heavily at the wedding, feeling it was out of character and blaming Sarah.
• Hosts Encourage Perspective: Co-hosts suggest Julie is fixated on Sarah as the source of all problems, questioning if her need to “fix” things is healthy.
  • "I think you got tunnel vision...everything’s going to end up being this girlfriend’s fault..." – Stacy (19:57)
• Conclusion: Despite tension, the main issue (Sarah in pictures) was resolved, and Julie got married.

Notable Quotes:

• "You have to be the fixer of all these things. Why it’s your responsibility?" – Stacy (19:41)
• "You got what you wanted...but now your dad drank a little more than usual, so now that’s the issue..." – Bert (17:55)

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3. Pet Regression, Anxiety, and Solutions

(20:26 – 27:15)

Scenario:
Steve shares his two miniature schnauzers’ (Miles and Parker) regression—accidents, separation anxiety—since moving between two homes.

Highlights:

• Behavioral Regression: Dogs “acting like puppies again,” accidents, chewing.
  • "They’re like having accidents on the floor...chewing stuff they’re not supposed to...completely reversing all those things we taught them." – Steve (20:44)
• Dog Emotions: Discussion on how dogs, as pack animals, are sensitive to their owner’s stress and major changes.
  • "Dogs’ emotions are reflective of yours. If they see you upset, they get upset." – Stacy (22:15)
• Advice from Listeners:
  • Temporary Medication: Klonopin can help for short-term anxiety.
  • Pheromone Plug-ins: Dog Appeasing Pheromone (DAP) recommended as a holistic option.
  • "If you don’t want to go the drug route, the DAP...does work." – Caller Stephanie (26:28)
• Comedy in Solutions: Joking about “drugging the dogs” as the modern go-to answer for pet and child behavioral issues.

Notable Quotes:

• "The argument used to be as a society, we’re putting our kids on drugs...now it’s our dogs too." – Bert (27:08)
• "So we’re drugging our dogs now?" – Steve (26:18)

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4. Love Lost and Found: Roller Derby Romance

(28:25 – 33:35)

Scenario:
Tiffany (“Pretty Violent”), a roller derby player, contacts the show to locate a guy she met at a derby event—Linwood Wright (“Mr. Right”), hoping for another chance after missing him at the afterparty.

Highlights:

• The Search: After Tiffany left clues, the show found Linwood and connected the pair live on air.
• Why He Didn’t Pursue: Linwood explains he had too much to drink and wanted to make a good first impression.
  • "Me and Mr. Beer were having one too many. I am not gonna embarrass myself stepping to a young lady like that, that's just not cool." – Linwood (31:33)
• Cute Roller Derby Nicknames: Tiffany decides if they become “a couple,” he'll be “Mr. Pretty.”
• Connection and Playful Teasing: Both are excited to reconnect, with the hosts cheering on the blossoming connection.

Notable Quotes:

• "If she went through all that to meet me, I’m damn sure down to meet her." – Linwood (32:18)
• "Well, I can’t rely on him to initiate things, so how about you give me his number?" – Tiffany (33:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Name-Stealing:
  "He straight up stole your name." – Bert (04:24)
• On Friendship Boundaries:
  "In a group of friends...you don't want two of them to have the same name." – Stacy (03:35)
• On Wedding Drama:
  "There was no need for the ultimatum...She already told you beforehand..." – Bert (16:07)
• On Dog Behavior:
  "Dogs’ emotions are reflective of yours..." – Stacy (22:15)
• On Connecting Two Listeners:
  "If she went through all that to meet me, I’m damn sure down to meet her." – Linwood (32:18)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:29 – 10:44] – Baby Name Drama (Travis, Brody vs. Broden)
• [13:21 – 20:11] – Wedding Photo/Girlfriend Ultimatum (Julie)
• [20:26 – 27:15] – Pet Anxiety Advice (Steve & Callers)
• [28:25 – 33:35] – Love Lost and Found: Pretty Violent & Mr. Right

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Tone & Style

The cast maintains an empathic yet comedic and very conversational tone throughout, mixing practical suggestions with playful teasing and quick-witted comments. Listener participation and real-life scenarios are handled both with warmth and humor, making even tense discussions feel accessible and engaging.

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Summary Takeaways

• Naming kids within close social circles can spark surprising drama—honesty is key!
• Navigating blended families at major life events is tough, but boundaries matter.
• Pets pick up on stress and life changes; holistic and medical solutions are available, but patience is important.
• Love finds a way—even if it takes a morning show & a roller derby nickname.
• The Bert Show crew delivers insightful, compassionate, and hilarious takes on real listener problems.

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Transcript

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[Host Birch]

The Bird show so you're having a problem and your friends can't help you out with it, and your parents can't help you out with it because they're way too close to you, you know? So you're looking for somebody objective, you come to us. Or even if it's you just want to vent and nobody around you is listening, you come to us. Just email us. It's exactly what Travis did. He was really upset at a friend of his, and I think for good cause. But normally it's women that get upset about something like this.

[Co-host Steve]

Exactly.

[Host Birch]

It's not the guys. Hey Travis, you're on Q100.

[Caller Travis]

What's up, man? You started off by calling me a woman.

[Host Birch]

I'm sorry, I take that back. I'll call you that at the end of the call. What's going on?

[Caller Travis]

Hey, man. Well, basically, here's the deal. I got a and you're right. I mean, one of the reasons why this was kind of close to issue with me is, is really because this is one of my friends. He's in my crew of Friends. Second, I kind of was instrumental in picking that name when we picked it. So at any rate, what the deal is is this is one of my boys for like 17 years. I mean, talk to this guy once a week. We do family vacations. He's in our wedding, I was in his. All that good stuff. So basically we had a son eight years ago. We named him Brody. B R O D Y. Is his name.

[Co-host Melissa]

Is that Brody?

[Caller Travis]

Yeah. So now he's got a. He's got a kid on the way. And I come to find out through some of our other friends that he, I guess kind of put the idea out there to that he's naming his kid Brodin, but he's spelling it B R O D Y N, but they're calling him Brody. So it's just a nickname made up.

[Host Birch]

So it's just enough off to where your buddy kind of has justified it.

[Caller Travis]

That's not exactly what it is. The guy justified it, I think, by throwing an N on it, which is basically a made up name because you can't even find that name on a.

[Co-host Stacy]

Website or on a coffee mug in the mall.

[Co-host Steve]

So he's stealing your baby name.

[Caller Travis]

Hey, Steve straitjacked it. And part of the reason is, I mean, part of the reason we're upset about it is one, he's not admitting it. He's just saying that. Oh, it's completely different, man. You're off base. But I'm like, look, I mean, you've already got the nickname picked out. Whatever the parents are calling the kids, what everybody else calls the kids, whatever you put on the birth certificate doesn't matter. I mean, you could put Bob on the birth certificate, but if you're calling him Brody, I don't care what you wrote down.

[Co-host Stacy]

Well, it's also uncool because I think in a group of friends. Well, first of all, it's a sacred thing, a name. But also in a group of friends, if your children are going to grow up together, you don't want two of them to have the same name. Right.

[Host Birch]

Like sometimes I think, you know, if you meet somebody new and they already have a child with the same name, that's not a big deal. But here he's been around your kid for eight years and the name has been thrown around now for eight years. He straight up stole your name.

[Caller Travis]

Right? Well, that's what I'm saying. And I got a couple issues. One is I was just. I definitely wanted to vent about it. We talked about it through our whole, you know, kind of crew of friends. And everything else. But you know, secondly, it's like, am I just being kind of overreacting? Because to me it's just disrespectful. And it's also disrespectful that he's just trying to upon it off on me as blowing it out of proportion and that the name's completely different. I mean, he's like, it's completely different. You know, I'm just like, what are you talking about?

[Co-host Melissa]

Is anybody said anything to him at all?

[Caller Travis]

Yeah, I mean everyone's just, everyone's trying to play it a little bit cool. They don't want to stir the podcast. I've said quite a bit about it and like look, and we can kind of see where he's coming from and then he'll just justify his point and be done with it.

[Host Birch]

Have you had a one on one with him?

[Caller Travis]

Yes, but he's, he's pretty non confrontational and he's kind of circumvented this to email instead of returning my call. So that's pretty much how it's been back and forth.

[Co-host Melissa]

So he knows?

[Caller Travis]

Yeah, he knows. Well, he told them up front. He's like, yeah, because he hadn't told anybody what the name is and the baby's coming in a couple months and everyone, some, some of them just met up with him this weekend and was like, hey man, you know, what's the baby name? We haven't heard anything goes, yeah, we're, this is what we're planning on doing. Travis is probably gonna be kind of pissed. So he prefaced it with that. And then once I was pissed and I basically was letting him know how I felt about it, then he tried to justify it by he's completely switched his tune from yeah, it is, the nickname's gonna be the same to now. His story is that the whole thing's just completely different.

[Co-host Steve]

Right. He's trying to. I'm kind of like, well is that.

[Caller Travis]

Does that have any merit? Like does anybody else really think that that is truly different? And you know, I think at this point I'm like, look, I'm not going to tell a guy what to name this kid. If he can't think of anything else and that's what he wants to do, then so be it. But the bottom line is, you know, just be upfront. If you wanted to say, hey man, we can't think of a name and we just want it, we're going to copy it and it's cool name and I'm sorry, but that's that I'd be like, you know, it is what it is. But now the whole justification about it being different and I'm off base. Kind of what's upsetting me about it.

[Co-host Steve]

I'm curious, what do the wives think?

[Caller Travis]

We supposedly. His wife has emailed my wife. My wife is pretty much on board with me about it, right? Not as vocal about it, but she's. She definitely thinks it's jacked up, especially because it's not that common of a name and there's what's his name on tv, but that's about it. So his wife emailed like the same kind of justification, like, yeah, you know, this is a deal. It's kind of different, but you know, just want to make sure everything was. And that's been basically it.

[Host Birch]

Hey, Larry, you're on Q100. Go ahead.

[Caller Travis]

Yeah, Travis, dude, suck it up. If he come to you wanting to name the Duke the kid Travis, you'd be honored now. Yeah, but here's the deal. If he wanted to name in Travis and I was dead, then I would be honored. But he's not naming it after me and he's just copying my 8 year old's name. It's not an honor. You don't even really know the kid. You know what I'm saying? And we don't know. That's part of my issue. If he said, hey man, you know what, it's an honor, we love your kid, we love the name we're copying, it'd be completely different. Now what he's telling me is basically these names aren't the same, so you've got no justification to be upset.

[Co-host Steve]

Well, I agree with you that they're definitely the same. I mean, it's definitely the same name. They are just trying to justify it.

[Co-host Stacy]

Yeah, I mean, it's insulting.

[Co-host Steve]

It is. And it's like, I mean, do you think this is gonna change your friendship with this guy forever or has it already?

[Caller Travis]

No, I mean, I've been upset about it, but you know, I'm not gonna let something like that. I'm not gonna be friends with the guy, but I'm just trying to basically see, am I just off base because I'm upset about it and kind of overreacting to it?

[Co-host Stacy]

I don't.

[Host Birch]

Yeah, I don't think you're so either, man. This would be a deal breaker. This would. I swear to you, I think Stacy would go, I can't hang out with them anymore.

[Caller Travis]

Yeah, well, that's kind of what we talked about.

[Co-host Melissa]

I can understand that. You should Refuse to acknowledge the kid.

[Host Birch]

And we call him a different name.

[Co-host Stacy]

A different name.

[Co-host Melissa]

What's up, Kevin. What? His name's Brody.

[Caller Travis]

No, it's not.

[Co-host Melissa]

It's Kevin.

[Host Birch]

Hey, Phil, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Caller Travis]

Appreciate it, man. Yeah, I just want to say it's. I think it's going to be more so of the wife's decision than it is the best friends. Because at the end of the night, your best friend has to go share the bed with his wife, not with you. I think you're overreacting, buddy. Yeah, well, we saw it. I think a lot of it's coming from the wife, too. And I don't know if this guy's just kind of out of the loop. The issue is, is that, you know, that's what we thought my wife said is. Her argument was there's no way that the wife would ever let this happen if it was one of her friends with that kid's name. The fact that it's one of his friends is the reason why it's no big deal to her, I think.

[Host Birch]

And he wouldn't sell out his wife to you. He wouldn't come to you straight on and say, hey, you know what? This isn't me. It's whatever her name is. And I understand it's uncomfortable, but she's really set on this name.

[Caller Travis]

Yeah, he's not. He's not like that, But I think that's part of the problem.

[Host Birch]

April, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Caller Tiffany]

Hey. I just wanted to tell him, basically the same thing happened to me, and I was bitter for a while. One of my close, close friends, we actually call each other cousins. She picked the same name after my son was born, and we argued about it, but after the baby's born and you just think about it, we kind of just call each other's kids different nicknames. And so, you know, maybe not to overreact too much about it, because that's his friend, but I do understand that he's upset about it because it's just kind of tacky to copy off of your. One of your close friends, baby's name.

[Co-host Steve]

Especially when it's a unique name like that. I mean, if it were John Michael. You know what I mean? Something that had something, some sort of attachment to each person's family or family members they were being named after, and then it was the same name, but something that's unique like that, and then they're just gonna call him Brodin and then call him Brody. It's like that's so weak. Really?

[Host Birch]

That really is weak.

[Caller Travis]

You should jack up.

[Co-host Melissa]

Every time he meets him. He should be, you know, like, oh, this is your little boy Brody. And, like, really stress. Oh, Brody.

[Co-host Stacy]

And. And I love again, how the guy. The excuse. It's not the same. It's not. Brody. Brody. I mean, it's not the same. Yeah.

[Host Birch]

I think you should always refer to his son as N. Just N. Yeah. Instead of Brody, you take the last part of it. What's up, N? Cause you'd be.

[Caller Travis]

Yeah, that's. That's definitely a good idea. I'm a kid.

[Co-host Melissa]

By R T. This would be like.

[Co-host Steve]

One of you and Stacy's friends having a little kid name Hollis and just adding an extra S. Right.

[Host Birch]

Or spelling it differently.

[Co-host Steve]

I mean, like, it's totally different. There's two S's on the end, and yours is one.

[Co-host Melissa]

I'm gonna do it with a Z. Hey, what's up, Hollis? Hollis.

[Host Birch]

At your boy cousin, most cousins, most are calling up saying, it's really not a big deal, and you got to get over it, which I just don't.

[Co-host Steve]

I think it's a big deal.

[Host Birch]

I think it's a big deal, too, man. But most are saying, get over it. Not a big deal.

[Caller Travis]

Get over it.

[Host Birch]

Get over it.

[Co-host Melissa]

Get it.

[Host Birch]

The Birch Show.

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[Co-host Stacy]

Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?

[Co-host Steve]

Really?

[Co-host Stacy]

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[Co-host Steve]

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[Co-host Stacy]

Wow, your search can really get that specific really?

[Co-host Steve]

And you just put in your info.

[Co-host Stacy]

And boom, car's in your budget.

[Caller Travis]

Mom needs a second.

[Co-host Stacy]

Honey, you can really have it delivered.

[Co-host Steve]

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[Co-host Stacy]

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[Co-host Steve]

I think your kid is walking up the slide, Kyle. Again?

[Co-host Stacy]

Really?

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[Host Birch]

All right, Julie from last week. It seemed like it was gonna be pretty cut and dry on Thursday. Did you guys ever get to the con about her in the pictures?

[Caller Julie]

Yeah, we did. We addressed it and she was very cool about it. She was understanding that I wanted her in some pictures and not some others. It turns out that she's been married three times before. All of them were over 50.

[Co-host Melissa]

So wait a minute. So you called and told her you didn't want her in the pictures and then you found out that she's married three times?

[Caller Julie]

Yes.

[Co-host Stacy]

One thing at a time. Get through this weekend. Like you. At least what you wanted to accomplish was accomplished and so you were gonna have pictures with your family and and then you'll incorporate her in some of the pictures. She was understanding she's going to be cool to you on Saturday because you know she's supporting your marriage and then let this kind of take care of itself.

[Co-host Steve]

And she did tell you she's going to talk to him about it and she wants to talk to him about it first. So you should give her the option to do that.

[Host Birch]

All right. So the debate really turned from. Or the focus of this turned from having the father take the wedding photos with the new girlfriend to do I talk to my dad about this woman that she's seeing who I really don't think is a very good match for him?

[Co-host Steve]

Well, I mean, she thinks that the girlfriend's a gold digger.

[Host Birch]

Right.

[Co-host Steve]

And she ticked off Melissa. Remember, you were getting really upset with her.

[Co-host Stacy]

Well, I just.

[Co-host Steve]

Without wanting to say anything before the show.

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[Co-host Stacy]

Less impatience because, I mean, it's like she's making. She's. She's not listening to what our suggestions were, and she just wanted to make drama out of it, and she could not get her mind off of it. And that's why, I'm afraid, that she did talk to her dad. Because it's one of those things that if you. If you constantly obsess about an issue you want to fix and you got to fix it immediately, then you're going to end up doing something, and you probably do more damage than if you just waited it out.

[Host Birch]

Hey, Julie, you're back on the voice disguiser.

[Caller Julie]

Hi. How are you?

[Host Birch]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller Julie]

I'm doing. I'm doing pretty well. I'm married.

[Co-host Stacy]

Well, congratulations.

[Host Birch]

That's the most important thing.

[Co-host Melissa]

Cops have to come to your wedding or anything. Cops have to come to your wedding, break up a fight or anything. Throw someone out.

[Caller Julie]

No, no.

[Host Birch]

Sound inside. You don't sound like a woman that just got married a couple of days beforehand.

[Caller Julie]

No, I did. It was great. Everything went really well. I ended up calling Sarah the night before the rehearsal dinner, and I had a little chat with her. I said, basically, you know, After what you told me the other day, I'm not very comfortable with that. But I made an agreement with her that at the wedding, maybe she could try to make herself not available for most of the pictures. In exchange, I wouldn't tell my dad, and I'd give her a chance to tell my dad about her past.

[Host Birch]

See, now, let's wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop. There was no need for the ultimatum. She already told you beforehand that she understood the picture thing, so you were good to go. So why even throw in the ultimatum thing, which is obviously gonna put her on the defensive, just reinforcing it and showing it.

[Co-host Stacy]

Well, the problem is what? Well, we'll listen the rest. But the problem with that is if her father ends up not having a problem with this woman's past and they do end up together, your relationship with her will never be good. But anyway, go Ahead.

[Caller Julie]

Well, it ended up being fine. She made herself, you know, not available for most of the pictures, and.

[Co-host Melissa]

You.

[Caller Julie]

Know, I've asked her to come clean with my father while I'm on my honeymoon. The only thing that was bothersome to me at the wedding was that my dad never really. He's never been a drinker, and I felt my dad drink a lot, and he lives with her the whole time holding hands and being kind of tipsy, and that was. That was the only thing that really stood out in my mind as being awkward and different.

[Co-host Stacy]

And that's her. You think it's her fault that he was drinking?

[Host Birch]

Yeah, I think she's. He's just trying to keep up with her.

[Co-host Melissa]

She's bad news.

[Host Birch]

She's much younger than he is. You told us. So he's just trying to keep up with her.

[Caller Julie]

Yeah, that's what it seemed like to me. But she wasn't in any pictures, so that was fine.

[Host Birch]

So did you let that go? Did you say anything to him, or did you say anything to her about the alcohol?

[Caller Julie]

No, I didn't.

[Host Birch]

Okay.

[Co-host Steve]

Does your now husband know that all this was going on?

[Caller Julie]

Yeah. Well, I mean, he knew about my frustration with the pictures. I haven't mentioned anything to him about the alcohol.

[Co-host Melissa]

Well, you can't say anything to him about the alcohol, can you?

[Ad Host 2]

You shouldn't.

[Co-host Stacy]

Well, and the alcohol.

[Co-host Melissa]

He is an adult.

[Co-host Stacy]

Yeah.

[Host Birch]

And see, like, this is just.

[Co-host Stacy]

Here. Here is.

[Host Birch]

This is starting to drive me crazy, because I can just. You know how there are just some people that just love drama and they love a crisis. So now everything went just the way you wanted it to, even though you threw out the ultimatum, and it really could have turned around on you. You got what you wanted, so things were fine at the wedding, but now you're dead. You saw him drinking a little bit more than he usually does, so now it's the issue. So when you get back from the honeymoon. Now this is lingering, and you're gonna have to create more of a crisis by talking to him about his drinking. Right. Rather than just letting it go.

[Co-host Melissa]

Well, did you give him the ultimatum, like, over the honeymoon, that she has to come clean with your dad or you're going to?

[Caller Julie]

Well, she was up to her half of the agreement, which was that she would not be in any of the pictures. And so I'm expecting her to come clean over the honeymoon with my father.

[Co-host Melissa]

But you haven't told her that she has to. Or have you?

[Caller Julie]

I haven't told her that. I am expecting her to come through with her side of the bargain.

[Co-host Stacy]

This is addressing the drinking really quickly, like you're blaming her for it, but then you don't think of. In the big scheme, has your father been in this position before where he has to face his ex wife at his daughter's wedding in an awkward position with a new girlfriend? And so, I mean, I think that you're just kind of. I think you got tunnel vision when it comes to everything that's going on, and everything's going to end up being this girlfriend's fault, when it may not be the girlfriend's fault that he decided he wanted to loosen up a little bit, maybe had a little more than he expected. The girlfriend could have been there to take care of him, you know? So I just think that. I don't. I don't know. I don't understand why it. You have to be the fixer of all these things. Why? It's. Why it's your responsibility.

[Caller Julie]

Right?

[Co-host Steve]

Is your mom remarried already? Okay, I thought that. I thought that was the case.

[Host Birch]

All right, so the bottom line here is.

[Ad Host 1]

I don't.

[Host Birch]

I don't know. There's a lot more to cover here. The bottom line is she wasn't in the pictures. That's what you originally called us about. So you got what you wanted there. The truth is going to come out here eventually over the next couple of weeks. Either she's going to tell them, or you're going to say something, and that's where it's at. And you got married.

[Caller Travis]

I got married.

[Co-host Stacy]

All right. Well, congratulations.

[Host Birch]

Why don't you sound happier than you are right now?

[Caller Julie]

I'm very happy.

[Ad Host 1]

Okay.

[Co-host Melissa]

The stark reality of forever is beaming down on you like a light from a magnifying glass, just burning you, realizing that for the rest of your life, every single day, you're gonna look at that same man. Hey.

[Host Birch]

The Birch show.

[Co-host Steve]

Now, we all know that animals have emotions, just kind of like, you know, kind of like humans do. Whatever. Like, you can tell when you're, you know, dogs feeling sad or tired or when your cat's ticked off at you for going on vacation and leaving them with a dirty litter box for a week, whatever. But my dogs are having some sort of, like, regression issues going on right now, and they're really having, like, this crazy separation anxiety, more so than ever before. I've talked about them before. My dogs are Miles and Parker, and they are miniature schnauzers. And so they're kind of. They're little dogs, so they're kind of, like, wound up a Little bit anyway. And they're pretty high energy and kind of require a lot of exercise. But with me moving to a new place and sort of sharing the time between two homes now, they are totally going back to like puppy behavior. They're like having accidents on the floor. They are like chewing stuff they're not supposed to chew and like completely reversing all of those things we taught them when they were puppies.

[Host Birch]

Are they doing this in both places?

[Co-host Steve]

I don't know. They're definitely doing it in my place. And so. So I just don't know what to do about it. I'm just wondering if it's like the stress of being in a new place or just, you know, or maybe feeling the emotional stress or something like that. But I just don't know what to do about it. I was in petsmart, like talking to the, talking to the manager, like, help me. What do I do? And there's all these different. I mean, you could spend thousands of dollars on all kinds of stuff for your dog to help him mellow out. But I just don't know what really works.

[Host Birch]

You just don't think that that kind of separation or that kind of life changing event affects dogs the same way it does humans. Like you told me this the other day and I'm like, I never even thought that dogs would, you know, like pick up on it. You get stresses in a house or whatever.

[Co-host Stacy]

Dogs are pack animals. So, you know, like dogs and cats are different where cats are like homebound. So if something's going on in the home, changing the home, the cats will get stressed out. If there's something going on and a change in the, the pack leader, like you, the ant, you know, the human, then they'll get stressed out. So I do think that dogs, their emotions are reflective of yours. Like if they see you get upset, then they get upset. If they see you not settled or out of place, then they are going to feel the same way.

[Co-host Steve]

Well, one of the first times that they were ever in the house alone, in the new place alone, I went out to dinner with my parents and my brother was in town and we went out to dinner and, and they, I didn't realize this, but they barked so much that my new neighbors actually had to actually called the police because they thought something was wrong and someone was like dead inside the house.

[Host Birch]

Really? Yeah.

[Co-host Steve]

Like they barked for like three hours straight. So there was that, you know, getting used to the new place and new noises and new smells and all that kind of stuff. And then they've Been having accidents on the floor, and it's like a cement floor or whatever, so it's not, like, ruining anything. But they're having accidents again, like they were puppies. Like, they are, like, chewing stuff they're not supposed to chew. I just don't even know what to do about it.

[Host Birch]

It certainly has got to be a little confusing because they're going back and forth from old home to new home and then back to old home to new home, and there's not, like, this new permanent place. They're going back and forth, so they got to be a little confused about the situation.

[Co-host Stacy]

And one owner to the other owner, one owner to the other owner, instead of it being together.

[Co-host Steve]

Do you think I'm totally screwing them up?

[Co-host Stacy]

I don't think you're screwing them up as an adjustment, though, for them, too, as much as it is for you.

[Co-host Steve]

I just wonder what to do about it. Like, the lady at petsmart was telling me about some sort of plugin. You know how, like, you can plug in air fresheners and, like, have, you know, air fresheners in your house? Well, there's one, I guess, for dogs that emits some sort of smell, like aromatherapy for them, and some sort of sound that, like, only is a frequency.

[Co-host Melissa]

Dogs can hear calming or something.

[Co-host Steve]

Yeah. And it's supposed to help with their separation anxiety and supposed to help sort of chill them out. But humans can't hear it. I don't know. I didn't want to invest the, like, 60 bucks in it unless, like, I could get some sort of you can return it endorsement from somebody else.

[Caller Travis]

I'd try it.

[Host Birch]

Hey, Terry, you're on Q100.

[Co-host Steve]

They were out of it.

[Caller Tiffany]

Hello.

[Host Birch]

Hey.

[Caller Tiffany]

Hey. My sister's two Chihuahuas were going through the same exact thing. She was doing a lot of travel for work, and they're about three years old now and went back to the peeing in the house and all that.

[Co-host Steve]

Mine are three, too.

[Caller Tiffany]

Oh, really? Yeah, those were totally fine. And all of a sudden now they're chewing, pooping, peeing, everything. So she took him to that. They put him on a drug called Klonopin. It's actually something used for humans and for panic and anxiety, really. And she used it only for, like, two weeks, and now they're totally fine.

[Host Birch]

Here's the. Oh, really? So it's just two weeks?

[Co-host Steve]

Just a two weeks.

[Caller Tiffany]

For two weeks, they said. She said the vet said to use it once at night, once in the morning. And, I mean, they were howling and barking and crying every time she went to bed once she got back and doing all this crazy stuff, and now they're totally fine.

[Host Birch]

So the arrangement, probably the thought here is that the arrangement is so new that in two weeks the drug will help them get through this anxiety and then they'll be able to deal with the change and going back and forth between homes.

[Co-host Stacy]

Now, your stuff in your new place, I assume a bunch of stuff is new, like, because I think also with dogs, like, anytime that you take them in to be boarded or something, you know, they always say, we'll bring a shirt or bring something because it also smells. So they're in this place that has all these new smells that they don't know. And so some of the indoor, you know, accidents may be also part of the marking. Marking the territory too.

[Co-host Steve]

Oh, I hadn't even thought about that.

[Co-host Stacy]

If everything's new, then they don't recognize any of the smells.

[Co-host Steve]

It's just freaking me out. It's like all of a sudden I have puppies again. I'm like, oh, no, I already got through that stage. I mean, that is the cutest stage of a dog's and also the most pain in the kind for the parents.

[Host Birch]

Barry's phone went out, but he was calling up to suggest Benadryl for the dogs.

[Co-host Steve]

So we're drugging our dogs now.

[Host Birch]

Everybody's calling up and say, drug the dogs, including vet assistants.

[Co-host Steve]

Really?

[Host Birch]

Hey, Stephanie.

[Co-host Stacy]

Hi.

[Host Birch]

Hey.

[Caller Tiffany]

No, I was gonna say if you don't want to go the drug route. The dog appeasing pheromone, the DAP that they sell at petsmart and vets also sell. It does work. It helps. It's a pheromone that kind of calms them down and makes them feel more relaxed. They have one for cats too. And you know, pills are always an option, like a little doggy anti anxiety medication, which your vet can do. But if you are wanting a more holistic route. Yeah, this pheromone does really work.

[Co-host Steve]

And so that's the one you plug in the wall. Okay. All right, I gotta get that one.

[Co-host Stacy]

I gotta try that.

[Caller Tiffany]

It's not really smellable by humans either. You can't smell it.

[Co-host Steve]

Okay, I gotta try that before I put my dogs on drugs. I mean, seriously, like, they're dogs.

[Host Birch]

The argument used to be that as a society we're putting our kids on drugs too quickly. You know, when it comes to ADD and stuff like that. Now it's our dogs too.

[Co-host Stacy]

Yeah.

[Co-host Steve]

The magic pill, doggy riddlin. So that they pass the CRCT.

[Ad Host 1]

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[Host Birch]

I love lost and found. This is how it all went down the other day.

[Caller Tiffany]

I am actually a roller girl.

[Co-host Steve]

What's your roller girl?

[Caller Tiffany]

My rollergirl name is pretty violent. I am actually called Pretty by everyone in the league.

[Co-host Melissa]

Pretty violent?

[Caller Julie]

Yeah, pretty violent.

[Caller Tiffany]

It was this guy and his friends, and so we kind of flirt back and forth and somehow I learned his name and she was like, yeah, my name is Mr. Wright. So he had left his wallet over at our BYOB table and I went to pick it up and his name is Linwood Wright.

[Host Birch]

Okay, that's a pretty big clue right there.

[Caller Tiffany]

But I do know that he's not married.

[Host Birch]

And you know that how?

[Caller Tiffany]

I actually asked him. I was like, Mr. Right, let me see your left hand. So he showed it to me like.

[Caller Julie]

There'S no tan line either.

[Caller Tiffany]

I was like, that's even better.

[Host Birch]

So he's probably going through the same thing you're going through where he thought you were all hot, but he kind of sissied out.

[Caller Tiffany]

Yeah, he just kind of disappeared. He was supposed to go to the after party and he didn't show up. So I'm kind of left hanging.

[Host Birch]

So this generally is how love lost and found work. Somebody like pretty violent will call us up and she'll say, look, I really dig this guy. I just didn't get his phone number. Then we give the details out and then hopefully 1, 2, 3 of you guys listening will go, I think I know who she's talking about. And then generally after the show, you call us and you say, I think I can put you in contact with that guy. And then we unite the two of them on the air. And that's how Love and Lost and Found works. And here she is today. Pretty violent. How are you today?

[Caller Julie]

I'm great.

[Caller Tiffany]

How are y' all doing?

[Co-host Stacy]

Good.

[Host Birch]

Really good. I think you got us intrigued about this roller derby thing. Like when. When I come back from vacation, I'm going.

[Co-host Steve]

Me too.

[Caller Tiffany]

Oh, I've got tickets for y'.

[Caller Travis]

All.

[Host Birch]

I'd love to go invite.

[Caller Julie]

It Sounds good.

[Co-host Steve]

I cannot wait to see it.

[Caller Tiffany]

It's pretty cool. Everyone enjoys it, and I'm sure you all would love it.

[Host Birch]

And you just roll up in there with your own cooler and own beer.

[Ad Host 2]

Well.

[Co-host Steve]

And who doesn't want to go to a Shriners center on the weekend?

[Co-host Stacy]

Exactly. Hello.

[Co-host Steve]

Everybody's to do list.

[Caller Tiffany]

The shyness are pretty cool people. They're not who you think they are.

[Host Birch]

I want to see it for myself.

[Co-host Steve]

I mean, I'm not saying they're not cool. I'm just.

[Co-host Stacy]

No, I'm just saying they're not cool.

[Co-host Steve]

No, I wasn't saying that at all.

[Host Birch]

I would say in the joke about.

[Co-host Steve]

It being at a Shriner center, in.

[Host Birch]

The list of really cool places to hang out in Atlanta, I would say the Shriner center probably not in the top 500.

[Co-host Steve]

Wouldn't cross my mind at first.

[Host Birch]

No.

[Co-host Steve]

But now it has.

[Host Birch]

But now it has.

[Co-host Stacy]

Now I want to write my rap about the Shriners and the Fez and everything.

[Co-host Steve]

Little cars and all the parades, little.

[Host Birch]

Hats, the little thing on the side. So we did get a whole bunch of calls about Linwood Wright, and we were able to find Linwood.

[Caller Tiffany]

Were you really?

[Host Birch]

Yes, we were. Here he is. Hello, Linwood.

[Caller Travis]

Hey. How you doing?

[Host Birch]

Good. How are you?

[Caller Travis]

Hey. Doing pretty good this morning.

[Host Birch]

Do you remember? Pretty violent.

[Caller Travis]

Clearly I remember her.

[Co-host Steve]

Okay. All right.

[Host Birch]

Did you hear that, Tiffany?

[Caller Tiffany]

I did.

[Host Birch]

Clearly, he said he's making a statement here. Of course he remembers you.

[Caller Tiffany]

I've got a big grin on my face now.

[Host Birch]

Now, Linwood, you gotta help me out here with something.

[Ad Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host Birch]

She was giving you every indication that night that the game was on. Green light.

[Caller Travis]

Green light.

[Host Birch]

And you.

[Caller Travis]

And she was. But it was me and Mr. Beer were having one too many. And I am not gonna embarrass myself. Stepping to a young lady like that, that's just not cool.

[Host Birch]

Good for you. So you were being respectful?

[Caller Travis]

Well, yeah, I was being respectful, and I didn't want to Embarrass myself because.

[Host Birch]

This might be the only shot you have at it.

[Caller Travis]

Hey, you know, first impressions. So, you know, you better do it right the first time.

[Co-host Stacy]

Okay.

[Co-host Steve]

Okay.

[Host Birch]

Tiffany, does that make sense to you?

[Caller Tiffany]

I can respect that, and I appreciate it.

[Host Birch]

This is every guy's. I mean, this is a dream come true. When a woman, she meets you, the opportunity goes away, and then she publicly seeks you out. That's a hell of a compliment right there.

[Caller Travis]

It's a huge compliment because that's one of the things you'd never expect to happen, right? And if she went through all that to meet me, I'm damn sure down to meet her.

[Co-host Stacy]

Oh, cool. Damn sure.

[Host Birch]

I like the way this is going.

[Co-host Steve]

Hell, yeah. She's gonna give him a roller derby name.

[Host Birch]

Tiffany, if you were gonna give him a roller derby name just on appearance alone and what you saw, what would his roller derby name be?

[Caller Tiffany]

On appearance alone? God, that's a hard one to come.

[Caller Julie]

Up with on the fly.

[Caller Tiffany]

No, he has to be connected to me. So he would just have to be Mr. Pretty.

[Co-host Stacy]

Mr.

[Host Birch]

Pretty. Linwood, are you ready to be Mr. Pretty?

[Caller Travis]

Oh, I can work that out.

[Host Birch]

So how would you like me to do this, Tiffany? Do you want me to give Linwood your phone number or vice versa?

[Caller Tiffany]

Well, I can't rely on him to initiate things, so how about you give me his number?

[Host Birch]

Okay.

[Caller Travis]

Hell, yeah.

[Ad Host 2]

Hey.

[Caller Travis]

Hey, not a problem. You know what? Hey, it started out that way, but I just have to make a comeback.

[Co-host Steve]

That's right. That's right.

[Host Birch]

That sounds good. That's strong right there.

[Co-host Stacy]

This looks good.

[Caller Tiffany]

Yes. I appreciate it so much.

[Caller Julie]

Thanks.

[Ad Host 1]

Get it. The bird show.