Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 22 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 22 [Vault]

Air Date: January 22, 2026
Host: Bert
Cast: Jeff, Jen, Melissa, Michelle, Robin, Tommy, Abby, Kristen, Cassie
Special Guest: Jake Gyllenhaal

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MAIN THEME

This episode of The Bert Show delivers its signature combination of humor, authenticity, and candid real-life stories. The crew opens up about parenting challenges—specifically, the shocking and hilarious moments when young kids drop their first curse words. The conversation evolves into a lively call-in segment about “recycled” engagement and wedding rings (and the drama they cause). The episode wraps up with an entertaining and slightly chaotic interview with actor Jake Gyllenhaal, who discusses his movie choices, Brokeback Mountain, tabloid rumors, and big-headed hat shopping.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kids and Their First Curse Words

Timestamps: 00:00–13:15

• Bert’s Parenting Confession: Bert kicks off sharing the unforgettable moment his 3-year-old, Hayden, loudly dropped the F-bomb ("effin cup") in a silent movie theater during Chicken Little. The family tries to play it off at first, but it’s clear Hayden picked up the word—complete with correct context—from his parents.

  "He gets upset. And he said, he drops the F bomb—‘effin cup’—in the middle of the theater."
  —Bert (02:41)

• Handling Kid Cursing: The crew debates whether to ignore the behavior or correct it, sharing personal philosophies and moments when their children swore in public.

  "You don’t wanna laugh. You don’t wanna come down too hard. You don't wanna bring attention to it."
  —Bert describes parenting strategy (04:13)

• Blaming the Other Parent: Bert admits it’s common to privately blame the other spouse for a child’s bad language, only to realize both are guilty.

  "Privately, when something happens with your kid like that, in the back of your mind, you immediately blame the other parent."
  —Bert (05:31)

• Callers’ Own Cursing Kid Moments:

  • Michelle shares her son swearing at Sunday brunch ("sh*t" over dropped casserole) in front of relatives and church folks (07:02).
  • Jake’s daughter, when offered Barney, calls him a “bitch” ("Nah, Barney's a bitch") at age two—leaving the family both horrified and dying of laughter (09:12).
  • Robin’s story: Her three-year-old slams her fist at the table, yelling “GD it, Cosby, shut up!” at their barking dog (10:21).
  • Several parents decide they’d be terrible role models given their own frequent cussing, especially when driving.

2. The Case of the Ex’s Ring

Timestamps: 13:16–32:33

• Listener Dilemma Recall: The show recaps a listener story—Michelle’s ex-husband requests her old wedding ring to propose to his new girlfriend due to financial hardship.

  "Don't you wish there was just some way that you could have cameras on people's lives all the time so we could TiVo that…because she must have been just like: you're out of your mind, right?"
  —Bert (13:31)

• Debate:

  • Some cast members are strongly against giving the ring back; others see it as a way to clear up debts or obligations.
  • Jen notes Michelle owed her ex money (overpaid child support) and considered exchanging the ring for that debt.

• Michelle’s Update (resolution): Michelle negotiates to give her ex only the diamond from the ring, keeping the band/setting for sentimental/family reasons; the deal clears her debt.

  "You can have the diamonds inside the ring, but I want the rest of it back, okay?"
  —Michelle (17:04) "So your feeling is… if they [daughters] wanted to use this ring in the future, they certainly could."
  —Bert (19:37)

• Practical Advice: The crew suggests having the diamond removed by a jeweler with written documentation to avoid disputes.

• Call-In Stories about “Recycled” Rings:

  • Robin: Unwittingly proposed to with her fiancé’s ex’s ring; the ex recognizes her own ring while Robin is drawing her blood (she’s a nurse), leading to an awkward confrontation (23:43).
    • "That's my ring! I wanted to die." —Robin (25:14)
  • Sydney: Willingly wears her husband’s ex-wife’s ring, insisting it doesn't bother her at all—her focus is practicality, since she’s supporting his college (26:39).
  • Nicole: Discovers in a club that her ex-fiancé gave her his old girlfriend’s ring, only after said ex-girlfriend physically snatches her hand on the dance floor (29:31).
  • The hosts debate whether using an ex's ring is ever really acceptable ("I’d rather wear a piece of tin foil than have that reminder"—Bert, 27:13).

3. Celebrity Interview – Jake Gyllenhaal

Timestamps: 32:18–42:04

• Movie Choices: Jake discusses his preference for indie films early in his career, which allowed him to “stretch” as an actor, but says he enjoys big blockbusters too.

  “They were the ones where I could kind of stretch myself and push myself. ... I've always wanted to do blockbuster movies and stuff, but the other ones are more for the acting.”
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (34:15)

• Turning Down Roles: Jake reveals he was close to starring in Moulin Rouge (lost to Ewan McGregor) and that he and Heath Ledger became friends despite both wanting the role (35:27).

• Brokeback Mountain: Jake addresses the “gay cowboy” label, emphasizing there's more depth to the film, and notes no one discouraged him from the role.

  “The thing about that film is … it has a stigma on it already as being sort of the gay cowboy movie. … It's much more than that. And I know there are people who will support it more than anything they've ever supported.”
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (36:04)

• Relationship with Kirsten Dunst: The hosts press Jake for gossip about his rumored romance with Kirsten Dunst. He’s diplomatic, only saying:

  “She’s such an amazing, amazing girl and is always in my life, no matter what.”
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (36:52)

• Humor & Banter: Jake jokes along about large heads, fitted hats, and gets genuinely playful with the crew.

  “I liken the movie (Jarhead) to like really great sex without an orgasm.”
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (39:34)

  “Where do you find big hats?” (41:28) "I just go to the store…give me the biggest thing you got.”
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (41:33)

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Hayden’s First F-bomb:

  “Effin cup.”
  —Hayden (Bert’s son, via Bert) (02:41)

• Blame Game:

  “Privately…you immediately blame the other parent.” —Bert (05:31)

• Surprise Ring Reveal:

  “That’s my ring! I wanted to die. It was embarrassing.”
  —Robin (25:14)

• Jake Gyllenhaal’s Wry Honesty:

  “I liken the movie to like really great sex without an orgasm.”
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (39:34)

  "She's such an amazing, amazing girl and is always in my life, no matter what."
  —Jake Gyllenhaal (36:52)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:00 – Hayden’s first curse word in public; roundtable on cursing kids
• 07:00 – Callers share tales of kids swearing in public places
• 13:16 – Recap & update on Michelle’s ex-husband wedding ring dilemma
• 17:04 – Live call with Michelle: ring compromise, legal paperwork, future inheritance
• 23:43 – Callers: Stories of recycled engagement/wedding rings, messy breakups
• 26:39 – Sydney: Why she’s fine with her husband’s ex’s ring
• 29:31 – Nicole: Club confrontation over an ex’s ring
• 32:18 – Jake Gyllenhaal interview (Jarhead, Brokeback Mountain, Kirsten Dunst rumors, and hat sizes)
• 41:42 – Banter about big heads, hat shopping, and sign-off with Jake

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Tone and Language

The episode maintains the show’s signature light, irreverent, and honest tone throughout. Bert, Jeff, Jen, and Melissa riff off each other with a blend of playful teasing and genuine curiosity, while callers and guests add authenticity, laughter, and a touch of drama.

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Who Should Listen?

Fans who love candid parenting talk, relationship dramas with a comedic twist, and celebrity interviews that go off-script will find this episode quintessential Bert Show—heartfelt, hilarious, and a little bit chaotic.

Transcript

[Bert]

The bird show. I'm guessing one of the butterfly kisses you moments that you never forget is the first time that your kid laid down his first or her first curse word, cuss word.

[Jeff]

I thought you and Stacy were gonna eliminate the profanities in la casa.

[Bert]

Well, I guess when you're a parent, you just kind of forget there. I mean, it's been so we throw that. We throw it around so often that I thought we were doing a pretty good job of monitoring and editing ourselves, but I guess we're not.

[Jeff]

You said like, right when he was born, like, when he, like, six months old. I remember you came in here and said that you were actually very proud of yourselves because you eliminated it.

[Bert]

Thought we were doing pretty well.

[Jeff]

Not so much, huh?

[Jen]

Which bombs do you drop the most often? The sh. Bomb.

[Bert]

I don't know. I really don't. I thought we had a pretty good handle on it. I really don't know.

[Jeff]

When you're mad at Stacey, what do you call her?

[Bert]

There are so many. I guess we must be dropping the F bomb around the house fairly often. Although I don't really recall doing it.

[Melissa]

But when did Hayden drop it and where?

[Bert]

404. 741. 1005. Oh, you'll remember the first time your kid ever cussed in public. For us. It was a. It's a sweet little story of being in a silent movie theater for Chicken Little last week.

[Melissa]

Oh, no.

[Bert]

Oh, this is good. When we're watching Chicken Little and I'm sitting in one seat and Hayden, our three year old, is in between us and he's barely even heavy enough now to keep the seat weighted down. I actually have to keep my hand on the seat. Or it bounces back and he falls in. Into the crease between the cushion and the back of it, you know, that's great.

[Jen]

So little.

[Bert]

He is chicken.

[Jeff]

Isn't that a family thing, though? Like, doesn't Stacy keep her hand on your seat also?

[Bert]

It's a domino effect. One person moves, the whole row goes up. So, I mean, he's barely even old enough to sit in the seat by himself, Right? So we're watching the movie and, you know, theaters are quiet and he has a water bottle, like a Dasani or something. Or maybe it was just his cup that we put the water in and the circumference of the bottle, I guess, was just too small and it wouldn't stay in the holder, the cup holder. Like, sometimes he could angle it and it was fine, and other times it would just fall through the hole. You know, and fall onto the floor. So we're in the middle of the movie, and I guess he's been struggling with it for about an hour. For about an hour. And, you know, every time he drops it, I put it back up in there, and we both kind of manipulate it together to keep in that cup holder. And I guess about an hour in, it drops through the hole again, and he gets upset. And he said, he drops the F bomb effin cup in the middle of the theater.

[Jen]

No, he did.

[Bert]

Yes, he did. Now, Stacy and I immediately looked at each other and were like, did he.

[Melissa]

Just say what we thought?

[Bert]

Did he just say. And she said, no, no, no, no.

[Jen]

It couldn't have been.

[Bert]

It couldn't have been. So it only happened one time, and we just blew it off like he was saying something else.

[Jeff]

That's great. Not only did he use it, but he knew how to use it.

[Bert]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

Beautiful. Like, not only did he get the word, but he also used it, you know, as an adjective in context. Correct. Like, and there's so many uses of that word. That's a brilliant first use of the F word.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert]

My child prodigy.

[Jeff]

What if that's the one? What if that's the one thing he's really good at cussing?

[Jen]

Yep.

[Bert]

Well, he learned it from the best, I guess. So as we're in the parking lot, Stacy and I, and we have Hayden in our hand again. And we're walking through the parking lot, and Stacy and I start talking about it, and we say, did we hear what we think we heard? And she said, I don't think so. I just think we heard it wrong.

[Jen]

Right.

[Bert]

So yesterday, we're all sitting around the counter, and when Hayden is playing with his food, sometimes he keeps it down at his side.

[Melissa]

Now, where are you again? I'm sorry.

[Bert]

We're in our kitchen. We have a kitchen. And he's at the counter, and he's eating.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Bert]

And sometimes when he doesn't have the food in his mouth, he'll put it down at his side, and it just sits down there at the side. Then he eats it when he wants. So he puts, like, a hot dog or something down, and the dog comes by, and he grabs his hot dog, and Hayden says, effing dog. Two correct uses of the F pod.

[Jeff]

Well done.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Bert]

Completely clearly. And Stacy's sitting there, and I am sitting there, and. And she mouths the words to me. Don't say anything. Like, you don't wanna laugh. You don't wanna come down too hard. You don't wanna bring attention to it.

[Jeff]

I would've had to leave the room. If that was my kid and he did that, I would be on the floor, I would be crying. I would be in tears. If my kid properly used the F bomb because Sasha took a hot dog out of his hand, I would. That kid would think that he just said the greatest thing in the world because I would have to leave the house.

[Bert]

It's humiliating. Now, it was clear as day. But as a father, I was like, no, he didn't just say that. So I asked him. I said, what did you just say, Hayden? And clear as day, he says, effing dog right to me. So I said, okay. And I just walked away from it. I didn't correct him. I didn't say it was a bad word. I didn't say it was a good word. I didn't laugh. I just let it go. But clear as day. And like you said, he used it in the right context, too.

[Jen]

Oh, my gosh. Now, what Stacy said is right, though. Aren't you supposed to just not bring any attention to it?

[Bert]

I don't know. I don't have the problem.

[Jen]

What else does he do if he keeps using it?

[Bert]

I don't know.

[Jeff]

I think what you have to do is you and Stacy have to eliminate that word. Like, above and beyond. You have to completely eliminate that word. And then like, a month from now, if he's still using it, then you say, oh, we don't. We don't say that. You say darn dog.

[Bert]

Well, I think parents won't admit this publicly, but I think privately, when something happens with your kid like that, in the back of your mind, you immediately blame the other parent. Because I'm thinking, Stacy's cussing all the time. She does curse a lot. And I've always felt like she curses more than I do. So I didn't say anything to her at the time, but I'm like, this is all about Stacy. But we're in the car together yesterday after this whole incident, and we're driving to get that truck I was telling you about earlier. And I forget if somebody cut us off or somebody was driving really slow, and I dropped the F bomb at the guy in the car, and I caught myself. It was me. It's me. So I think the combination of both of us is just. He caught onto it, and he's using it in perfect sentences now.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

[Jen]

And he's got the cutest little voice, too. I can't imagine that.

[Jeff]

Can you get that on tape.

[Bert]

There's no way. I'd have to follow him around and tick him off all day long.

[Jeff]

Yeah, just do stuff to him. Like, can't. Why can't you loosen a part on his toy so it doesn't work properly? Can you loosen a wheel on his bike so it just keeps going in circles or something?

[Bert]

I don't think it's something you can set up.

[Jeff]

Jeff, will you try.

[Bert]

No, I'm not trying to encourage it.

[Jeff]

I'll buy it from you. I'll give you 150 bucks for it.

[Bert]

Really?

[Jen]

It'll be just.

[Bert]

Hey, Mary, you're on the virtual.

[Jeff]

If you can get him to say effing phone, I will give you $200.

[Bert]

You're gonna make it your ring back.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Little kid voice on my phone. You got an effing call.

[Bert]

What's up, Mary?

[Michelle]

My son was 4.

[Robin]

We're eating brunch after. Well, Sunday brunch after church. We have about 15 people in laws.

[Michelle]

Church people.

[Robin]

My son dropped his broccoli casserole on his lap and says the sh. Word, like, pretty loud under his breath. And my husband and I look at each other and we kind of blow it off. He tries to pick up the broccoli casserole again to put it on his plate and drops it. And this time it's loud Sh. And we were like, oh, my God. The room fell dead silent. Everybody looked at me. My in laws looked at me. We were all like, oh, my God.

[Michelle]

We didn't know what to do.

[Robin]

How do you save yourself from that? And of course, after, you know, the.

[Michelle]

Whole deal, my husband and you're in.

[Bert]

Front of all these church people and you just left the land. Yeah.

[Robin]

Oh, it was drastic. My husband looks at me afterwards, and he was like, you know that that's you. Every single time something happens, that is you. I was like, okay, I'm not the only grown up in the freaking house.

[Bert]

There you have it.

[Melissa]

You see?

[Bert]

There you have it.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Bert]

You always want to blame the other parent. Anything that's wrong with your kid, it's definitely not your. It couldn't have been me. I had to be Mom.

[Jeff]

Do you correct Hayden if he's using words wrong incorrectly? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Melissa]

No, but, like, so that answers your question, Jeff.

[Bert]

No.

[Jeff]

Do you correct him if he's using, like, the wrong word for, you know, like, if he's calling a telephone, whatever. Something else?

[Bert]

Yeah. Like, if I'm on the phone with somebody, he'll say, what is. What was that? And I say, it's who was that?

[Jeff]

Right, so can you just tell him that he's using the F word incorrectly and it's actually freaking.

[Bert]

No, I don't even want him saying that.

[Jen]

Yeah, that's still bad language in little kid circles. And when he goes to school, you don't want him using, but have him.

[Jeff]

Be okay with it.

[Bert]

Well, you remember when we had Kevin Smith in here, he said he had like a three or four year old and he let him curse and he thinks it's the funniest thing. And he said when they got to be at age like 5 or 6, they weren't using the word at all anymore because it was like having the key to the kingdom. They just. It's not a big deal.

[Jen]

Right?

[Jeff]

Until he gives a kindergarten and he's like, get off my effing felt board.

[Bert]

Hey, Jeremy.

[Jake]

Hey. What's going on, guys?

[Bert]

Hi.

[Jeff]

Hey.

[Jake]

I was gonna tell you one story, but this one's funny that my, my 4 year old daughter, she was about 2 years old at the time and we're going over to my wife's parents house and you know, they were gonna put a movie on for my daughter Tori and she said my wife's dad was like, well, do you want to watch? Do you want to watch Barney? And my daughter said, nah, Barney's a bitch.

[Jeff]

Great.

[Jake]

I mean, do you correct him on stuff like that or let it happen? You know, it was so funny.

[Bert]

Well, in that case, I mean, it's a real struggle not to laugh, but then you realize how serious it is. Like once they get it out of.

[Melissa]

It, she's using correct grammar.

[Jeff]

Did you explain to him that Barney is androgynous and therefore couldn't be a bitch?

[Jake]

I didn't know what to say. I mean, my father in law wasn't too happy, but oh my God, we were all rolling. It was hilarious.

[Bert]

Yeah, and there are times where it's like you can't quite make it out. So you almost talk yourself into like, they couldn't have just said that, but there it is, clear as day.

[Jen]

You realize how much they're picking up. You don't even realize they're listening to.

[Bert]

Hey, Sherry. Good morning. Hold on. Sherry, good morning.

[Michelle]

But when she was three, she was sitting at the kitchen table and it must have been in the springtime. And our dog was outside and the windows were open and he was barking.

[Robin]

Really loud just, you know, incessantly.

[Michelle]

She slammed her fist down on the table and she said, GD it, Cosby. Shut up.

[Robin]

I had to walk out of the.

[Michelle]

Room before I corrected her. I had to walk out of the room because I was like laughing so hard.

[Bert]

Three years old.

[Robin]

She was about three years old, but she's 16 now.

[Melissa]

I mean, yeah, no, I'm glad I made the decision not to be a mom because especially in the car I talk about my road rage. That kid, I mean, yeah, no, I would never remember when I've cussed. I know I cuss all the time.

[Bert]

I thought we were doing really, really well. I really did, but I guess not.

[Jeff]

Yeah, Melissa would be the worst if you had to put a car seat. You should let Melissa watch Hayden for a weekend.

[Bert]

Forget.

[Melissa]

Have him in the backseat of the car. He'll be. Yeah, he'll have a glossary of words.

[Jeff]

Yeah, Melissa cusses more than you probably cuss in a week. Just bashing into a parking spot here in the building.

[Bert]

Hey Karen. Good morning.

[Robin]

Good morning. I love these stories. My husband was guilty of watching the Terminator and the Mel Gibson Let the Weapon movies when our girl was about that age, three years old. And I kept telling my husband, you know, you can't watch those movies. She's at the age where she's gonna pick up those things. He said, oh, she's not paying attention. She's playing with her tea set. She's doing this and that, you know. So my mom come down for a visit from out of town and we're taking our little one to the toy store. My mom and I and my little, my little girl, beautiful blue eyed little baby girl says, looks at a toy gun and picks it up and says, oh, F A U. And my mom looks at me like what did she just say? And I said, honey, what, what did you call this? F A U. You get what I'm saying what she's.

[Bert]

Calling it F A U.

[Jeff]

An F U. F A U.

[Robin]

She added like a A at the end of the F word.

[Melissa]

Uh huh.

[Robin]

She thought the gun was called that because in the movies that daddy has been watching they point the gun at so and so and they say it.

[Bert]

So she associated the word of the gun with fu.

[Robin]

My husband uses that all the time. You know, driving down the road, he's so bad he'll call people asking more on this and that. I come home, I fussed at him and everything. He said, no, no, she didn't get that from me. She doesn't get it from me because I don't cuss. About a week later we're in the car and he got cut off. And before my husband could say a word from the back seat she says, ask a moron. Daddy. I just looked at him.

[Michelle]

He was so busted.

[Robin]

So buste.

[Jeff]

That is great, but it's.

[Robin]

It's so scary. It's unbelievable to hear your little angels say those things.

[Bert]

I know you don't want to believe it. It couldn't have possibly come out of their mouth. The bird show. Michelle called us up. I guess it was about a week ago, right?

[Melissa]

It seems longer than that, right?

[Bert]

Is it two weeks now?

[Melissa]

I. I'm thinking it was where she had called up because her ex husband, I forget how long they've been married, but her ex husband was asking her for her ring back. He could propose to his new girlfriend.

[Bert]

Don't you wish there was just some way that you could have cameras on people's lives all the time so we could TiVo that and watch the moment that he asked and see her face and like do a close up because she must have been just like. You're out of your mind, right?

[Melissa]

I want to go back to when he thought that was a good idea. You know, like Devo even back to when he made the decision with somebody and yeah, dude, that's a good idea.

[Jeff]

So not on the same page with you guys.

[Bert]

You think this is okay?

[Jeff]

I think it's no problem. Look, I mean, the fact that he asked. The fact that he asked to me, it's weird because if I was the next girlfriend, I'd be like, what the hell? So that part, but the fact there's any dilemma or whatever, yeah, give him the ring if he's that stupid. There you go.

[Bert]

I would rather like, use a piece of tin foil, something unique than go back and use my. My ex wife's wedding ring to propose. But I guess when you're like, let's just assume the dude's in a total financial bind, right? And there's no way that he can propose, right? And so he's going through any options he has in his mind at all, and this is the only one he can come up with.

[Michelle]

We were, of course, obviously married. We were married for about seven years and things just didn't work out between us. We and I separated and I. And I left him. And finally I get him to sign the divorce papers and we've been divorced for about a year and he just started dating a new girl a couple months ago and he gave me a call and said, asked if I still had my wedding ring. I said, yes, I do. He says, well, I was wondering if I could have it. I said, okay, what for? He Said, oh, well, you know, I'd like to have it. And having a conversation with him is like pulling teeth. I said, okay, what for? Well, for decoration. For who? Well, I want to give it to my girlfriend. I said, why? Well, you know, we love each other and we want to get married, and I just don't have the money to go out and get a wedding ring right now, and I want to give it to her for Christmas. And I said, well, I said, you can't give her a wedding ring as an engagement ring because both of the bands are welded together. I said, you can't do that. He said, oh, well, I'll get that unwelded. I said, well, but you can't do that. He says, well, she doesn't have to know. And I said, well, your kids will bust you, because your kids know what it looks like. Oh, no, they won't.

[Bert]

Okay, so that was a few weeks ago on the Burt show, and we haven't talked to, quote, unquote, Michelle since then. Anybody want to try to make some predictions? Did she sell it back to him or.

[Melissa]

I think she was not very. She was debating whether to do it or not. I would. It wouldn't even be a consideration for me. But I think that she went ahead and gave it back to him because she was already halfway there.

[Jen]

Well, she did owe him some money because he had paid. He had overpaid child support, and she was supposed to give that back to him. So instead of giving that back to him, she could give the ring in its place. But she really felt strongly about keeping those rings as a symbol of their marriage that at one time was happy to pass down to her kids. So I'm gonna say she is holding onto it.

[Bert]

Okay, that's my point. And your point was? He overpaid his child support, but it's going to his kids. So why you want it back?

[Melissa]

I mean, it sounds crazy, but that's the law, right?

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Bert]

All right, Jeff.

[Jeff]

I think she gave it to him. I think she came right to my side. She's like, you know what? She's gonna be that dumb. Here, take it.

[Bert]

I'm gonna say she kept it. I think she kept it. Hey, Michelle.

[Michelle]

Hey.

[Bert]

How are you?

[Michelle]

I'm good. How are you doing?

[Bert]

Okay.

[Melissa]

So what happened?

[Michelle]

Okay, I never called him because I said, well, just call him and tell him about it. I thought, nope, I'll just tell it to him face to face because he had the girls this weekend, so we always meet at a certain place in downtown. So we went, walked around Atlantic Station, which was very cool, and walked around there and then went up, met the girls, brought my. My whole posse with me. I had my sisters and her friends. So I had my whole posse with me and walked up and, you know, I was saying hello to the girls, and he says, hey, do you have a check for me? I said, no. I said, because what I've decided to do is that you can have the diamonds inside the ring, but I want the rest of it back, okay? Because I thought, well, I'll just give him the whole entire thing. I said, no. I said, because he's going to trash it, throw it away, whatever. I want the rest of it back. Because I can, you know, later on, I can always put something in it later, or I can always use it for the girls later. Oh, well, that's all I wanted. All I wanted was just a diamond. And she's cool with it, because, you know, we discussed it, and she's cool with it.

[Bert]

So he discussed it with his girlfriend.

[Michelle]

Now he ran it by his girlfriend because he says, well, you know, I just didn't want to leave her in the dark and make her think that, you know, I was trying to pull something.

[Bert]

No way.

[Michelle]

So I just told her and, you know, let her know about it, and she's cool with it. I said, well, all right, long as she's cool with it.

[Melissa]

Well, that's not your response. That's not your problem anyway, you know, But. But I. What. If I recall, didn't one of our Burt show listeners suggest that you do that and split it up? So I think that was a good choice.

[Michelle]

Yes, I did take one of the callers advice. I thought that would probably be the best thing because I. I was very torn. I thought, well, I don't. I want to give it to him to get rid of that debt. But I thought, well, I don't want to give it to him because I want to hold on to it. So at least I'm. I'm winning both ways so I can at least keep half the ring, and then he could take what he wants, and that cuts my debt.

[Bert]

All right, so now you say you cut your debt. Is it gone completely now? Are we talking about halfway or.

[Michelle]

It's gone completely. What I'm going to do is I want to have my stepmother. My stepmother isn't a paralegal, so she's going to write something up that looks all legal and stuff, saying that, you know, he. It's in exchange for the wedding ring, the diamond in the wedding ring. He will forego every penny that I owe him, plus the money that I've already paid, come back to me smart. Okay, well, if he says, well, I don't want to do that, I'll say, oh, sorry, no deal.

[Bert]

And you're.

[Michelle]

I know he wants that rank, that diamond.

[Bert]

So your feeling is also, because you said you had daughters, that if they wanted to use this ring in the future, they certainly could it would. They just need to get a diamond for it.

[Michelle]

Right. And I thought, well, by then I'm sure they'll either one, whoever one gets married first, I'll obviously say, you know, whoever gets married first. Here, you can have this. And if they say, well, no, mom, I don't want to take it, I'll say, okay, well, I'll just keep it for myself. We'll make it into something. But, but I will give them that option to have it if they'd like to have it because they really like looking through our wedding album and looking at our pictures and stuff and oh, that's when mommy and daddy got married. And they just love looking at those pictures.

[Melissa]

Okay, now that's a good idea. Good compromise.

[Bert]

Yeah, I think it worked out real.

[Michelle]

Well for you, surprisingly. Yeah, it did.

[Melissa]

All right, well, congratulations.

[Michelle]

Thank you.

[Jen]

One last question though. Are you having it taken out and you're just going to give him the diamond? You said something at the start of it of you're going to want those back, right?

[Michelle]

And I told him, I said, well, you can have the diamond in it, but you're gonna have to give it the rest of it back to me. And I want to have it written down somewhere saying he has to give it back. So I'm thinking, well, he'll just say, okay, yeah, I'll take it and say, oh, well, you know, something happened or I wasn't able to give it back to you. I want to get it in writing saying that he's. He is to give that ring back to me after he takes what he wants out of it.

[Bert]

Boy, if I, if I were you, I think I take that diamond out.

[Melissa]

Myself, I drop it off to a jeweler and then he can pick the diamond up at the jewele and you pick up the setting of the jeweler.

[Michelle]

Yeah, that might be a better idea.

[Melissa]

You're not his priority right now.

[Jeff]

Or you just take it to a jeweler and have them remove that. They can do that while you wait. Have them remove the stone in the setting and then just take him the stone.

[Bert]

You turn that over to him. That's gone.

[Jen]

I was gonna Say they can also appraise it while you're there, too, and give you some sort of certificate to give him so he'll know that it's not like any sort of, like, fake diamond or whatever.

[Melissa]

But what if it's less than the debt she owes him? I think it's better off just to give him the diamond and not be in the clear.

[Jen]

I guess I was just thinking forward to the step where he says, well, how do I know if this is the diamond?

[Michelle]

Right.

[Jen]

You know, if he needed some sort of paperwork, I'm sure the jeweler could give you some.

[Melissa]

He's not real smart. He's gonna go into that much detail.

[Bert]

Hey, Michelle.

[Michelle]

Yes.

[Bert]

Thank you for calling.

[Michelle]

Oh, well, I appreciate you guys calling and checking up on me.

[Bert]

Yeah, I mean, we got a couple of emails from people that were dying to know what you were gonna do. Appreciate it.

[Michelle]

Oh, really? Well, that's good. I'm glad, everybody. I'm glad I got help. I needed it.

[Bert]

Yeah, it sounds like a good compromise, actually.

[Michelle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Melissa]

But I agree that, you know, Jen brought up a great point about how you need to keep your eye on that setting the whole time and not give it over to him.

[Michelle]

Right. Get it back.

[Jen]

Good luck.

[Bert]

Yeah. Yeah. You got to do this because you put that in his hands. It's gone. It's gone.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Bert]

All right, Michelle, thank you.

[Michelle]

Thank you, Bert Show. I appreciate it.

[Bert]

Bye now.

[Jeff]

You know, glad to help. Any situations like that, go ahead and call us. Always glad to help.

[Bert]

You know the part that I want to stick with here because you know how we. We said that it doesn't matter what we're talking about, that I think we've got a diverse enough listening audience now that somebody is listening that calls up and go, yeah, that's me that you're talking about.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Bert]

So she says that the. The ex husband tells the new girlfriend that I'm gonna use the diamond or I'm gonna use my ex wife's wedding ring on you as your new engagement ring. And she says she's fine with it. I want to know if there is another Bert show listener in our audience. 404, 741 1005. That knows the ring you're wearing on your finger right now is that of his ex wife's. Oh, all right. Because the way she describes it, the husband says, yeah, oh, the girlfriend was totally cool with it. I'm having a hard time believing that. A real hard time. So if you're that woman, so you're walking around right now with A wedding ring on your finger that was formerly your husband's ex wife's ring. Call us. Good morning, Robin.

[Robin]

Yes.

[Bert]

How are you today?

[Robin]

Pretty good.

[Bert]

All right. So we're speaking directly at you here, huh?

[Robin]

Yes.

[Bert]

Okay, go ahead.

[Robin]

Actually, I worked at an OB GYN office, and my ex fiance, he had proposed to me with this ring, who was actually his ex. He was engaged prior to me and had given me the ring he had given her, and she was a patient, so I was drawing her blood, and she actually said, you know, that was my ring. And it was very embarrassing because, you know, she's a patient and my employees are. My co workers are all there, so.

[Melissa]

Okay, we're gonna have to back up.

[Bert]

Let's back up on this.

[Melissa]

Hold on just a second.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay, now for. Okay. All right.

[Jen]

Did you.

[Melissa]

I don't even know where to start. But first of all, okay, now he engaged. He asked her to marry him, but they never got married. Right?

[Robin]

They never got married. And she. She was pregnant by him.

[Jen]

Oh.

[Robin]

And, I mean, it's a big. I mean, it sounds unbelievable, but it's true. And, like, he was. She was pregnant by him, and they were going through some stuff, and, you know, we started dating, and I actually went to the court, and that's how I met her is because they were trying to get their stuff back in court.

[Melissa]

So you knew. You knew her before she was your patient?

[Robin]

Yes.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Robin]

And I think she did. I mean, I don't know what her intentions were by continuing to come there. And I actually was pregnant, too, and he proposed to me with the ring that he had proposed to her with.

[Bert]

And you had no idea until she identified that ring on your finger.

[Robin]

Exactly.

[Melissa]

I would.

[Jeff]

Wow. That. That's gotta be an uncomfortable.

[Melissa]

While you were. While you had a needle in her. Dumb.

[Robin]

She had waited till I was done, but I was drawing her blood. And that's when she said, but she had known about me. And she was like, I hate to tell you this, but, you know, that's my ring. And I was like, oh, my God. I mean, I wanted to die. It was embarrassing.

[Jeff]

That's. That's a conversation that definitely wades if you're at the OB GYN post speculum or whatever that thing is called.

[Jen]

She was drawn. There was a. Jeff, don't even say it.

[Jeff]

Like, you know, like, just bad timing.

[Melissa]

Whoops.

[Jeff]

Slipped. Oh.

[Robin]

Ow.

[Jen]

Now, did you believe her or did you not believe her and then go to your fiance and ask him?

[Robin]

I. I believed her.

[Michelle]

Just.

[Robin]

I mean, I just. I mean, it was such an amazing ring. I just was like, you know, how did he just, like, you know, go get this? And, I mean, I didn't. I believed her more than I did him.

[Jen]

And then when he went to go talk to him, what did he say?

[Robin]

He said that we were both effing psycho. And, you know, he turned it around for me.

[Melissa]

But it was your fault.

[Jeff]

He turned it around and blamed it on you.

[Robin]

He tried to blame it on me. You all are both crazy.

[Michelle]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Robin]

And I'm like.

[Bert]

And then he took off and you guys. And it was over at that point.

[Robin]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

You just sold the ring and split the money.

[Robin]

Yeah, actually, I gave it back, so.

[Bert]

Good for you. And just be clean with it. Get them. Get them out of your life.

[Robin]

Exactly.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Robin]

You're welcome. Thank you.

[Bert]

That's gonna be a tough one to beat right there.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Bert]

Good morning, Sydney. You're on the Birch Show. All of it hits Q100.

[Michelle]

Hi.

[Robin]

How are you?

[Bert]

Good. How are you?

[Robin]

I'm good. My husband, now, we've been married a little over a year. He gave me his ex wife ring. They were married for eight years. The reason he did it, he told me he'd buy me another ring, which I had no problem with wearing this ring forever. It's very pretty. The reason he did it, he's a full time Georgia tech student. He's 35. So he started school kind of late, but his mom noticed it, and she was like, you don't mind wearing her ring? And I was like, no, ma', am, I don't. It doesn't bother me at all because he don't have a job, and I'm working to support him through college.

[Bert]

I still say, you know what? Like, maybe I'm an old romantic and maybe I'm an old sentiment or whatever, but I swear to you, I would rather wear a piece of tinfoil around my finger than have that constant reminder of the other woman. Do you ever look down at it and think, man, this, This. I mean, this is kind of a reminder of his past life?

[Robin]

Not really. I mean, he promised me. I mean, we didn't get to go on a honeymoon. We had. When we got married, we both. I had to go back to work, and he had class the next day. So he promised me he'd buy me another ring. And I told him not to worry about it. I go, just buy me something to go with it. I go, because, I mean, it's a gorgeous ring. It's very, very pretty and doesn't remind me about her at all. I don't think about her. I mean.

[Melissa]

Yeah, well, you know, but it. In this situation, if I was the first wife, I'd love it. Like, you know, the thing is, like, guess what? She's wearing my ring. I mean, the person. Yeah. The first wife, I mean, they're the ones that are sitting in the power position for sure, because he. He bought that with her in mind, you know, like. And so it's. Yeah. So, yeah.

[Jen]

I'm also surprised that the part of the ceremony where they bless the rings and, you know, it's part of your vows where they do this whole blessing on the rings didn't bother you.

[Robin]

No, I. I just. I was happy to be with him. I had been married previously and I had to buy my ring last time, and I was just happy to get something I didn't have to buy.

[Bert]

So you were in the negative before. At least here you were. You were breaking even.

[Robin]

Yes.

[Michelle]

Right.

[Bert]

All right, all right. Thank you. Okay. She says pretty much.

[Melissa]

Paying his school, too. I was laughing because the fact that she got the ex wife's ring, plus she's paying his school at Georgia Tech.

[Jeff]

Wouldn't you think that even that, like, isn't that just a dangerous. Like, that could be a relationship ending proposition?

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff]

Not even the action, but just like, you know, if Jen and I have been dating for so long and I sit down and go, hey, Jen, listen, I think, you know, I'm gonna have to spend some time with your father in the next few weeks, if you know what I mean. But before I do that, I want to make sure you're okay with wearing Jessica's old ring.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jen]

No, you're done.

[Jeff]

That's it?

[Bert]

Yeah. Because you're thinking that's not even an option.

[Melissa]

No, it's not.

[Bert]

In any scenario, that's not even an option.

[Melissa]

And I'm thinking less of you because you even consider the right.

[Bert]

Right. Hey, Nicole.

[Robin]

Hey. I had a story about the engagement ring.

[Bert]

Yeah, please do.

[Robin]

A couple months ago, me and my. Well, he's now my ex fiance, we went to Wild Bills, and yeah, we're dancing, having a good time. All of a sudden, this girl, like, screamed out, hell no. In the middle of the club, and I'm like, what's going on? She comes running over, she grabs my hand. I have no clue who she is. She's like, what the heck is this? And blah, blah, blah. She's like yelling and screaming at me. She said. She said my boyfriend's name. And she was like, this is my ring. I can't believe you gave it to her. And I'm, you know, I'm like, oh, my God, you know, who are you? And she's, like, shaking my hand. She's trying to fight me in the middle of club, take my ring off. And, you know, and my boyfriend's just standing back there like, you know, oh, my God. You know, they're gonna fight each other.

[Michelle]

You know, they're gonna try to kill each other.

[Robin]

And, you know, she just grabbed my hand, and we're going round and around in the middle of the club.

[Bert]

All right, so we're gonna have to back up with you here for a second also. Okay. Because my heels is kind of dark. I mean, there's a lot of lights going on, but it's a strobe light situation here. You're out on the dance floor, she's out on the dance floor. How did she even get a glimpse at your hand and the ring on your finger?

[Robin]

I have no idea. Because, I mean, I was minding my business, you know, we were dancing together. I know I had my hand on his shoulder because we were, like, just going crazy. And all of a sudden, just out of nowhere, what the hell? And, like, she says, hell, no, and she just starts going crazy.

[Jeff]

Hell no.

[Bert]

She said, hell no.

[Jeff]

Hell to the no.

[Jen]

Here's what happened her. Some of her friends have spotted you as the new girlfriend at the club, and they've said, you got to come out. She usually comes out on this night, and you got to see this thing on her. On her. On her hand. So, like, I bet before she ever saw you that night, she went there to see you guys together.

[Robin]

I would almost guarantee his ex before. I've never met her.

[Melissa]

So this is. So this is his ex?

[Bert]

This is the ex? Yeah.

[Melissa]

I mean, it's been. I mean, you know, now that. That's his ex girlfriend.

[Robin]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Robin]

Definitely.

[Bert]

Now, before that, you didn't know that he was engaged, though?

[Robin]

Yeah, I didn't know that he had ever been engaged. And so he got caught in a lot, too, and I think that's why we're not together anymore.

[Melissa]

And that is good for you.

[Jen]

Oh, absolutely crazy.

[Bert]

Thanks for calling, Nicole. Appreciate it, Byna. Yeah, I think. I would imagine. Or they just happen to be at the club at the same time. And the ex saw the ex boyfriend. She's like, that's that bitch that he's going out with now. And then just noticed the ring on the finger and just zeroed right in on it.

[Melissa]

I'm not convinced that he didn't take her to the same hangout he took all his ex girlfriends. He knew he was gonna be there in the pool of exes. Come on now.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he would. That'd be an honest guy mistake. Guys wouldn't even.

[Melissa]

Yeah, guys don't pay attention to that. So, I mean, yeah, he's probably. They probably run into each other several times.

[Bert]

That ain't good thinking.

[Jen]

Get it?

[Bert]

The Bird Show. Jake Gyllenhaal. We were just going through his resume and it's like hasn't been in that many big, big movies, but people are nuts about this guy.

[Melissa]

No big blockbuster. I think he got a lot of attention because of Donnie Darko, which was kind of like a dark cult type film. And then he was with Jennifer Aniston in the Good Girl, which got him a more critical acclaim.

[Jen]

But in Proof with Anthony Hopkins and Gwyneth Paltrow, which was another one that didn't end up being a huge blockbuster but was with some big time stars. So he's aligned himself with the right people.

[Bert]

I think he's, he may be more known by who he dates than the movies that he's in. And we tried because the rumor here is that he and Kirsten Dunst have this kind of like on again, off again relationship. She goes out, dates somebody else for a second and comes back to him. So it's really kind of up in the air. We don't have real commitment. Right on if they're dating or not.

[Jen]

No. He sort of gives us a little, little nugget.

[Bert]

We try. Oh, did we try?

[Jeff]

Was it for lack of effort?

[Bert]

Yeah, we really tried. Well, he was on on Friday and he was promoting Jarhead, which I didn't get to see over the weekend and the movie didn't do that great over the weekend.

[Jen]

Came in fifth place.

[Bert]

Fifth place.

[Jen]

So not horrible. I mean, especially when it's out at this, you know, big time for Chicken Little, which is, you know, anytime a kid flick is out, then that's going to take the number one spot. But. But yeah, it didn't do as well as they had hoped.

[Bert]

I'm sure he was fun, though. He had a lot of fun with us. Seems like a cool guy. This is Jake Gyllenhaal on the Birch show. All the hits. Q100. Jake Gyllenhaal now joins us. Good morning, Jake. Let me introduce you to everybody on the show. My name is Bert.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Hey, Bert.

[Bert]

Jake. This is Melissa.

[Melissa]

Hey, Jake.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Hey, Melissa.

[Bert]

Jeff$Hey.

[Jeff]

We go way back.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Where's Jen?

[Bert]

Jen.

[Jen]

Hey, Jake. You've Done more indie projects than any big blockbusters, and that sort of made you this young, hot Hollywood commodity. Was that on purpose? Why'd you choose those scripts?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

They're just. They were. For me, they were just the best ones, you know, really. They're like the ones where I got a lot of stuff to play. You know, they happen to be kind of weird, deranged characters, but they were. They were the ones where I could, like, kind of stretch myself and push myself. So it was inevitable I do those. And the other ones, you know, I eventually got to those because they were fun. I've always wanted to do blockbuster movies and stuff, but the other ones are more for the acting.

[Bert]

If there was a salary cap on movie making and you made the same amount of money for these big ones or these small ones, which one would you choose to do?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

You know, Both of them. I love watching. I mean, I love going in the summertime and watching those big movies. And I have fun making them, too. I mean, there's a whole different atmosphere. You know, instead of like a ton of dramatic acting, you're running away from things like I did the Day After Tomorrow. I like running away from things, so, you know, I like them both. I wouldn't mind. It's not a question. It really isn't a question of salary for me.

[Jen]

What big time role have you turned down already?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

There are roles I haven't gotten, but I haven't really turned down that many. I really would have liked to do Moulin Rouge, you know, that movie.

[Melissa]

Really?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Yeah, yeah, I was really close, actually. I just did a movie with Heath Ledger, and it was me, heath and Ewan McGregor up for that role. And Heath and I became friends and we didn't get to roll out of jealousy. And then, you know, made a movie together later on.

[Melissa]

Now, Jake, I was about to ask you about Brokeback Mountain because I am a lesbian. Part of the gay community. The gay community, of course, with you and Heath Ledger in the movie, are very excited about that. And you just talked about how you took these independent roles and then you became a blockbuster, you know, celebrity, but you still decided to do Brokeback Mountain. And I'm wondering, did anyone discourage you from taking that role now that you are a bigger name?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

No. Actually, maybe naively, but no, nobody did. I mean, the thing is, is that. The thing about that film is I think it has a stigma on it already as being sort of the gay cowboy movie. And I think it's. It's much more than that. And I think you can only, you Only know that until you see it. And I know that there'll be people who have problems with it and I know there are people who will support it more than anything they've ever supported. You know, so it's gonna be, it's gonna be split here and there, but nobody, nobody warned me against it. It's an amazing story and I think everybody around me knew that.

[Jen]

So the tabloids are all talking about your relationship with Kirsten Dunce. On again, off again.

[Jeff]

No.

[Bert]

Yes, they are. I know. Yes, I know. You don't read them. No celebrity does.

[Jen]

Can you tell us what should we believe?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

What should you believe? You know what? All I can tell you is that she's such an amazing, amazing girl and is always in my life, no matter what.

[Bert]

Come on, Jake, you gotta throw us a bone. Give us some scoop. I mean, we've got no ratings. If you throw us a little bone and you define your relationship with her, we'll get in the local paper, we'll get some national notoriety and we could really use that. Will you throw us a freaking bone?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Yeah, maybe, you know, we get to know each other a little better maybe.

[Bert]

Okay, how long is that gonna take? 60 seconds.

[Jeff]

Are we gonna be close in the next minute and a half?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

We'll see by the end. We'll see.

[Bert]

Would you like if you, if a younger actor was on the set with you? Okay. And this is his first big movie and he's starting to get attracted to another woman on the set that he's starring with. I mean, we know a little bit of the history here. So would you advise that up and comer to date within the celebrity world or outside of it?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

I would probably advise them to date whoever they had real feelings for. You know, I mean, if it. You can never really tell, but it's usually better to date maybe outside, I would say.

[Bert]

So my follow up question to that is, are you going out with Kirsty Dunst now?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

You know what? I feel like we really know each other other now. Like really. So now I'll let you know next time.

[Bert]

All right. Well, obviously we gotta talk about Jarhead also. Tell us a little bit about it because I think that people are expecting this to be like some kind of bloody, bloody war movie. And from what I understand, it's not like that.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Well, for anybody, I think, who went through or experienced the first Gulf War, there are a lot of things that people who didn't fight in it don't know, which is that there was a lot of waiting around, a lot of experiences that happened besides the combat action that people, the soldiers experienced. And this is the experience of one Marine in the first Persian Gulf War and he and his platoon and what happens amongst all of them. And it's based on a book by Anthony Swofford, who was a marine and a scout sniper. And it's. It's sort of pretty true to life, but it's not what you expect. No, not. It's not shoot him up at all. Even though. Even though you. In the end of the. By the end of the movie, you kind of want them to.

[Bert]

And that it's more of an introspection, like a bunch of guys talking about the situation they're in rather than actually on the front line stuff. Correct.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Well, you know, there is a lot. There is some action here and there. I mean, there. And there's a lot of. I mean, to me, I liken the movie to like really great sex without an orgasm.

[Bert]

That's not. That's an oxymoron, isn't it?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Yeah, well, maybe for some people, Trick. You know, it's a really entertaining movie. Even though they are waiting around.

[Jeff]

Now that you've shared with us your philosophy on orgasms, are you dating Kristen Dutton?

[Bert]

Are you in love with her?

[Jen]

He could say no, because you said Kristen, not Kirsten.

[Jeff]

Oh, Kirsten.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Yeah, man, that's not good.

[Jen]

All right, I. Speaking of Jarhead, I know this is sort of like a random connection to the title of the movie, but I.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Read somewhere they're like, wait, are you dating Kirsten Dunn?

[Jen]

I read somewhere that you have an odd similarity to our own Jeff Dollar, that you have an irregularly large head and you have to order extra large sized hats.

[Bert]

Is that true?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

I have an abnormally sized head?

[Bert]

Really, Jeff?

[Melissa]

Look, you and Jake have something in common.

[Bert]

Have you ever weighed yours? Because we actually weighed Jeff's one time and what was it, like £18 or something?

[Jeff]

Like 46.

[Bert]

Yeah, it's huge. It's scary.

[Jeff]

There's been times, Jake, where I've nodded and had to run a few steps forward.

[Bert]

Taking drama main.

[Jeff]

But you know what? I. Given that information, I definitely have not dated Kirsten Dunst.

[Jake]

Oh.

[Jeff]

Even though I have a big head.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

That's too bad.

[Bert]

Just a little note. We just need a little notoriety. Just a yes or no. Do you love Kirsten Dunst?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

He's a great girl.

[Melissa]

Dammit.

[Jeff]

Good luck with Jarhead.

[Bert]

Yeah, man. Seriously, it looks like a great movie. I think I'd really like to go see it on Sunday. So thank you for spending some time with us. And good luck with it.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Thank you guys so much. Yeah, go see it. It is a really, really, really great movie. So I'm very proud of it.

[Jeff]

And totally. Seriously, where do you find big hats?

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

You know, I don't. I just go to the store. You know those like, fitted baseball cap stores? And I'm just like, give me the biggest thing you got.

[Jeff]

I've done that. And it's still embarrassingly smart.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

They don't take you in the back and they're like, here you go. And they all like the ones that are all defaulted.

[Bert]

They don't give you those ones.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

This one was a mistake, but it'll probably fit your head.

[Jeff]

You can put a car cover on me and it looks like a Yamaha, dude.

[Bert]

Jake Gyllenhaal, good talking to you. Good luck.

[Jake Gyllenhaal]

Thanks, guys.

[Bert]

You're on the Burt Show.