Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 8 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 8 [Vault]

Date: January 8, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and guests

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers on two major themes: the incredible power of community as listeners rally to solve an international engagement ring disaster, and intimate behind-the-scenes drama from administrative assistants revealing workplace secrets. Alongside these stories, the show checks in with Dana—a 27-year-old woman in her first-ever relationship...with a 58-year-old man. As always, the Bert Show crew brings humor, warmth, curiosity, and a mix of skepticism and support to each subject.

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Segment 1: The Engagement Ring Rescue – An International Feel-Good Story

Starts: [01:44]

Key Points

• The Incident: Laura shares a story about her friends from Scotland, Graham and Jenny. During their US visit, Graham proposed to Jenny, who then promptly lost the ring—down the defrost vent of Laura’s BMW. The cost to fetch the ring? $1,500–$3,000, possibly more than the ring itself.
• Community Support: The Bert Show listeners respond with offers for help, and expert mechanics volunteer to solve the problem.
• Reunion Planned: With the BMW dealership repair arranged, Graham calls in from Scotland to express gratitude.
• Potential Hand Delivery: A listener named Jill offers, by pure chance due to a golf trip, to deliver the ring to Scotland herself.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the mishap:
  Laura: “She puts it on her ring finger to show it to me and gestures and it flies off her finger and bounces off the windshield...and goes into the defrost vents of my car.” [02:11]
• On generosity:
  Graham (from Scotland): “I’m absolutely delighted and so happy that all the lovely people that have called in and made those offers… everyone has shown this morning has so humbled me. I’m just so happy.” [04:18]
• On cross-Atlantic camaraderie:
  Graham to Paul, the BMW manager: “The next time we’re in Atlanta, we’ll make a point of trying to meet up and I’ll get you a beer or two, or maybe three. And if you’re ever over in Scotland, then I would love to meet up and again, buy you a beer or two.” [05:55]
• On whiskey loyalty:
  Graham: “Whiskey as well should get a mention because it’s a very important part of our lives.” [06:24]
• On lesson learned:
  Graham’s advice: “If you’re going to surprise your girlfriend, you know, get the ring size first.” [07:41]
• On fate and delivery plans:
  Laura: “We’re gonna be there in 30 days, and I’m hand delivering it myself. We’re not letting this thing go anywhere else.” [09:49]
• The mechanic’s assurance:
  Paul (Global BMW): “We should have it out by tomorrow evening.” [10:40]

Memorable Vibe

This segment bursts with warmth, gratitude, and global connection, with laughs about accents and references to Scottish beer and whiskey. The listeners and crew turn a disaster into a heartwarming victory.

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Segment 2: Dana’s Relationship Check-In—Age, Experience, and Promise Rings

Starts: [11:48]

Key Points

• Dana’s Background: 27 years old, never dated, now in a relationship with “Matlock,” a 58-year-old family friend.
• Rapid Progression: Since their first date, they’ve gotten serious fast—vacation plans (Bahamas), spending nearly every night together, and a promise ring.
• Concerns About the Relationship: The Bert Show hosts and listeners debate whether the issue is their 31-year age gap, or her complete inexperience.
• Friends and Family: Most friends and her parents are skeptical and hope it’s a phase. Dana insists she has agency and isn’t being manipulated.
• Workplace Role: Dana works independently as a buyer for a clothing store, dismissing accusations of gold-digging.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Dana on her feelings:
  “I really didn’t believe that I would get all of this out of one date. And I just… I’m so in love with him… he’s so giving.” [12:29]
• On moving in:
  “We’ve been talking about moving in together and he’s even given me a promise ring, which is just incredible.” [14:53]
• Bert’s skepticism:
  “58 year old man giving you a promise ring?” [15:03]
• On skepticism from friends:
  “I have two friends that are really happy for me… but then I have other friends that really… are just skeptical and think that I’m gonna get my heart broken.” [18:38]
• Listener called “Terry” suspects Dana is a gold digger:
  “I think she is not as naive as you think. And I think she might be after poor man’s money.” [20:15]
• Dana’s response:
  “I’m doing well. I don’t need anybody to support me… I’ve never had a relationship. So if I wanted to be a gold digger, I could have done that years ago. Not what I’m after.” [20:35]
• Debate about promise rings:
  Co-host: “I think promise rings are full of crap.” [21:42]
  Bert: “Promise rings are okay if you’re 16. What do you mean they’re full of crap?” [21:46]

Memorable Vibe

It’s an honest, at times awkward discussion mixing supportive, teasing, and critical perspectives. The show balances concern for Dana’s situation with respect for her autonomy, wrapped in the show’s signature irreverence.

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Segment 3: Administrative Assistants’ Deepest Boss Secrets—Voice Disguiser Confessions

Starts: [22:42]

Key Points

• Administrative Assistants’ Day: To honor assistants, the show invites them to share anonymously (with voice disguisers) the biggest secrets they know about their bosses.
• Scandalous Revelations: Assistants disclose affairs, illegal business activities, and private personal quirks about their bosses:
  • A consulting firm president fathered twins with a colleague as his wife gave birth.
  • A government employee is running his side business from his official role—possibly breaking the law.
  • An OBGYN is cheating on his wife (diagnosed with breast cancer) with a medical assistant, going so far as using a hidden credit card to pay her bills.
  • A metro mayor runs personal affairs during office hours.
  • A senior VP is having a romantic affair with another man he hired, unbeknownst to his wife.
  • A boss keeps size 12 red stiletto pumps and a black leather sock in his desk drawer.
• Insight Into the Role: The show emphasizes why assistants are so valuable and why bosses should never underestimate them.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On assistants knowing it all:
  Co-host Cassie: “The voice disguiser really is a beautiful, beautiful device… There’s no accountability there.” [23:23]
• Affair revelation:
  Caller: “And as his wife gave birth to a little boy, this attorney in another state also became pregnant with twins and she was unmarried.” [24:17]
• On workplace crime:
  Caller: “My boss is running his personal business through the government. Highly illegal.” [25:41]
• On the OBGYN cheating scandal:
  Caller: “He has us pay her [the medical assistant’s] bills with his credit card while his wife is sick, in bed with breast cancer.” [28:31]
• On a same-sex workplace affair:
  Caller: “Turns out the guy [my boss is having an affair with] just got hired for a major project.” [33:31]
• Cross-dressing hint:
  Caller Sally: “He keeps a size 12 pair of ladies red 6 inch stiletto pumps in his office drawer, locked, along with a black leather sock.” [34:13]
• On the value of assistants:
  Co-host: “You need to freaking honor your administrative assistants because they know everything.” [31:06]

Memorable Vibe

This segment is juicy, light-hearted, occasionally jaw-dropping, and hilarious, offering a dose of schadenfreude and a reminder never to underestimate the keepers of office secrets.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:44] Engagement Ring Incident Setup
• [04:14] Graham from Scotland Joins the Call
• [06:24] Scottish Whiskey & Engagement Ring Story
• [11:48] Dana’s Relationship Check-In Begins
• [12:29] Recap of Dana’s Progress with “Matlock”
• [17:12] Hosts Voice Concerns; Dana Defends Herself
• [20:15] Call-ins: Gold Digger Accusation
• [21:42] Promise Ring Discussion
• [22:42] Admin Assistant Secret Confessions Begin
• [24:15] The Secret Twin Affair Story
• [25:41] Government Work Misuse
• [27:28] OBGYN Cheating on Wife with Cancer
• [33:31] Senior VP’s Office Romance Exposed
• [34:13] The Red Stilettos Closet Secret

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Conclusion

This episode delivers classic Bert Show fun—relatable drama, wit, and a peek into other people’s lives. There's an infectious sense of community (whether crowdsourcing a BMW repair or examining relationship red flags) and enough behind-the-scenes office gossip to enthrall any listener. The hosts’ blend of skepticism, empathy, and sarcasm keeps things moving, authentic, and entertaining throughout.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

The Bird show right now this. This was almost shocking to us yesterday that we walked away from the show.

[D]

Oh well, yeah.

[C]

Feeling good. Feeling good about something that happened because I believe it was Laura that called us and said that her friend who was over here from Scotland lost her engagement ring in the flukiest of ways.

[D]

The title of her email was It'd be funny if it wasn't true.

[C]

Right? And I think that's pretty accurate. So listen to this. And we actually had closure on something on the Burch show where everybody walked away happy was Burt show listeners helping out other Burch show listeners. This was pretty cool yesterday on the show if you missed it. Just about a half an hour ago, we started talking to Laura about some friends that were visiting her from Scotland that ended up in a really nasty situation.

[A]

My friends Graham and Jenny live in Scotland and they scraped their money together for Jenny's birthday to come over. Here we go. Out to dinner for Jenny's birthday, and Graham decides he's going to propose, so he gives her the ring at dinner. Everything goes fine. We have a few drinks, and we were on our way home, and the ring was too big for her ring finger, so she put it on her middle finger. We're sitting in the car and she puts it on her ring finger to show it to me and gestures and it flies off of her finger and bounces off the windshield of my car and goes into the defrost vents of my car.

[C]

What bad luck, man.

[A]

Of course, at the time, you know, everybody was like, oh, all you have to do, you just take out a couple trays. Well, just everything will be fine. She gets out of the car, and we all realize that it's the worst possible situation that could have happened. So the next morning, we got on the phone with the dealership and we talk to them about what to do, and they say that it is the worst possible place in the car it could have landed. Basically, everything single part in the car is stacked up on top of the defrost system behind the dash. It's going to be between 1500 and $3000 to get out of the dashboard.

[C]

Of the car, which may or may not be more expensive than the actual ring itself.

[A]

You know, that's exactly right.

[C]

So we got Laura some help here, and a couple of people called up and volunteered, and it looks like we finally got this thing done, and we're going to find somebody that's certified to work on BMWs and get that engagement ring out. But, Laura.

[A]

Yes?

[C]

You said your friends in Scotland's names.

[A]

There were Graham and Jenny.

[C]

Graham and Jenny.

[B]

Yes, go ahead.

[C]

Graham is on the phone from Scotland.

[E]

Hey, Laura.

[B]

Hi, Graham.

[E]

How are you?

[A]

Oh, how are you?

[E]

I'm good. And absolutely delighted and so happy that all the lovely people that have called in and made those offers.

[D]

Oh, I love that lovely Scottish accent.

[C]

I know, right?

[A]

That's awesome.

[C]

Play some bagpipes.

[D]

Chef.

[E]

I will definitely be back to Atlanta, not least because of wonderful friends like Laura, Denver, Ally and Tina, but also the generosity that everyone has shown this morning has so humbled me. I'm just so happy.

[D]

You're so cute.

[C]

Oh, congratulations. Hey, remember Robin, who called a few minutes ago in her. Her man. Her husband, who's the manager at a BMW dealership, was trying to call at the same time? Yep, we have him online. Three, line three. He's on line three. All right, Graham, hold on one second here.

[E]

Hey, we'll do.

[D]

Hello?

[C]

Be with you in Just one bloody minute.

[D]

Jeff.

[C]

What the hell was that?

[D]

Mr. Insult everyone today.

[A]

What is wrong?

[C]

Good morning, Paul.

[D]

You're not good at accents. Honey talk over there.

[C]

Hey, Paul. Hi. How are you?

[E]

Good. Yourself?

[C]

Excellent, thank you. Now, Paul, you work. Where are you?

[E]

Global BMW.

[C]

Global BMW. All right. And can you help Laura? Have you heard her situation with the engagement ring with Jenny and Graham?

[E]

I've heard the situation. My wife called me and told me what's going on and we'd be happy to take care of it.

[C]

Again. That's Global Imports. Global Imports? How?

[D]

Imports.

[C]

Global.

[D]

He's in Scotland. We're here. Global. It's appropriate. Wow.

[C]

Destiny.

[D]

Full circle. I know.

[A]

Fate.

[C]

Hey, Graham. United nations of Car Repair. Graham, is there anything you want to say to Paul here? Because he's going to be the one to inevitably help you out here.

[E]

Paul, thank you so much. You're welcome. I am so pleased that you've been able to do this for me. The next time we're in Atlanta, we'll make a point of trying to meet up and I'll get you a beer or two, or maybe three. And if you're ever over in Scotland, then I would love to meet up and again, buy you a beer or two.

[D]

I want to go to Scotland.

[C]

It all revolves around beer in Scotland, doesn't it?

[E]

Whiskey as well should get a mention because it's a very important part of our lives.

[C]

Don't want to insult you. Sorry.

[A]

I just.

[D]

Graham, I'm curious a little bit about the history of the ring. How long did it take you to get this ring for? And, you know, how did you pick it? I just think it's so sad that she had it for four hours before it got stuck in the car.

[E]

Well, I had got it about two weeks before. It was really. For about three months we'd been planning it out that, you know, that I was going to ask Jenny to marry me. But of course, the one person that didn't know was Jenny. So hard as I tried, I went to the wire to try and get her finger size so that I could get her one that had a proper fit. And things got so close, and eventually I had to go to the jewellers. And the jeweller agreed that if it wasn't the correct size, then they would resize it or whatever. So I really only had the ring for about two weeks.

[D]

And you knew that there might be a sizing issue?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, that was why it flew off her finger.

[D]

And I'm just curious. I always wonder this.

[E]

I have no regrets at all about surprising Jenny, especially asking her to marry me. But, you know, the size thing is maybe one that I should revisit in future. And advice to any guys out there. If you're going to surprise your girlfriend, you know, get the ring size first.

[D]

Hey, Graham, I'm always curious, where was the ring hidden when you guys were traveling from Scotland to the States?

[E]

Well, there is a story because we took two suitcases with us, and we basically just, you know, threw some things in the big case, some things in the small case. So I actually stuck it in my jeans pocket, which was in the big suitcase, and we got searched at Edinburgh airport on Monday when we were flying over. And I had to make excuses to Jenny so that if they had opened and rummaged right through the suitcase, that they couldn't have gone. And what's this, sir? In which case the whole thing would have been blown. But fortunately, they never got that far down.

[D]

What was the story? You gonna tell her? Because you just said that you had a story. Did you say you had a story planned?

[C]

I locked my.

[D]

Well, no, I'm just trying to get.

[E]

Him to talk more a story in the event that the security guy had asked, you know, five. You know, such an expensive piece of jewelry was there.

[C]

Hey, listen to this. This is unbelievable. Let me put Jill on here real quick. Hey, Jill.

[E]

Hey, Bert.

[C]

Go ahead, talk to Graham.

[B]

Hey, Graham.

[A]

I'm coming to Scotland on Monday. My husband and I are going with another group of friends, and we're going to play golf. And if the ring's going to be ready, I would love to bring it to you.

[E]

I don't know where I'm going to.

[B]

Be or where you are.

[A]

I don't know much about Scotland, but if I could help it. Anyway, it's just so random.

[E]

Have you any idea in what area you're playing golf?

[B]

Excuse me?

[E]

Have you any idea of what area of Scotland you're playing golf in?

[A]

I think we're playing in a few different areas. We're definitely doing St. Andrews. We're doing Troon. We're doing, I don't know, a few other places. We're definitely going to be in Edinburgh. Really?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, guys, can you hear me?

[C]

Yeah, we can hear you.

[A]

We're gonna be there in 30 days, and I'm hand delivering it myself. We're not letting this thing go anywhere else. Okay.

[D]

Okay, that makes sense.

[C]

Why don't you trust Joe?

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

Maybe I can get your information anyways, and we can meet you up in Scotland and have a Beer, local stuff.

[D]

Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey shots.

[C]

They clearly don't trust you, Jill.

[E]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[A]

Okay, well, congrats. I'm just glad you'll get your ring back and everything and it'll all work out for you.

[E]

Thank you very much. And you have a good time in Scotland.

[A]

Thank you so much. And Birchill, I love you guys the most. And I'm so happy right now that I'm on the radio show.

[D]

Awesome. Have a great trip. And I just think our listeners are the best.

[C]

Hey, Paul, let me ask you this. How long do you think it would be for Global Imports to get that ring out of the dash?

[E]

I'll set the appointment up for tomorrow if that's good.

[A]

Perfect.

[E]

We should have it out by tomorrow evening.

[C]

Oh, fantastic. Is this really a 15 hour project we're talking about, Paul?

[E]

Honestly, I'm not sure, but I know that we'll take care of it.

[C]

But we're okay with you volunteering other people because they technically work for you so voluntarily.

[D]

I wish that somebody had a picture so that when the car just at the point where the most dismantling has taken place to get that ring and the ring first comes out. I'd love to see. I'd love somebody to take a picture of them pulling the ring out.

[A]

I will take pictures, but it'll be up on the website.

[D]

Perfect.

[C]

Hey, Paul, again, thank you to you and everybody at Global Imports for helping us out.

[E]

Not a problem. Happy to take care of it.

[C]

All right, I'm going to put you on hold and obviously we'll get some information from you. Paul, Laura, I think we've. Our work is done here.

[A]

Oh, you guys are the best.

[C]

And Graham, congratulations. We will have that ring to you when Laura comes to visit you in 30 days.

[E]

That is wonderful. Thank you to everyone at Q100 and have a good day all.

[D]

And you make sure Jenny gets that thing sized.

[E]

I will do. Don't you worry. First thing we do, I bet the bird show.

[C]

All right, let's get back to Dana here because it's. We've been talking to Dana now for a couple of months, Correct?

[D]

Correct. I mean, she first came to us because she said she was 27 years old and she'd never been on a date before, ever, ever in her life. And so she was going to go on her first date with a man who just happened to be 58 and a friend of her parents.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And so she ended up going out with him and she's still going out with him.

[C]

Things have progressed. I mean, she's Fallen for this guy. It's the first dude she's ever gone out with, you know? So we talked to her about two weeks ago, and let's just all get caught up. Here's about 60 seconds of the conversation we had with her two weeks ago.

[A]

Honestly, I really didn't think that I would be where I am right now. Just from one day, I have spent, like, we hang out every night at his house, and it's getting more serious and more serious, and I just. Everything is so amazing right now. I really didn't believe that I would get all of this out of one date. And I just. I'm so in love with him. And we.

[B]

He actually.

[A]

This is amazing, too. He's actually planning a vacation for us in Atlantis in the Bahamas.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

So, I mean, it's so amazing that he's so giving and he's so sweet to me, and I just. I mean, I never would have imagined I would be where I am right now. And that's why I didn't take a lot of people's advice when they were saying, you should really not do this because he's older. But I just. Like I said, for the first time I met him, he was just so easy to talk to, and I had such a great time with him, and he takes such good care of me, and he really just wants to make me happy. And so I just feel like, you know, that I definitely have an amazing thing here that's kind of where I'm at.

[D]

How's the intimacy department?

[A]

It's great. I'm staying. I mean, I'm over at his house every night, so it's kind of a.

[C]

Nice visual right there. You guys want to take any kind of predictions?

[D]

I mean, I think they're still going well because they have a vacation, from what I remember planned here soon. So I think everything will be fine until that vacation. I wonder if she's met any of his friends or if he's met any of her friends. That's what I'm curious about.

[C]

She has cheated on him with a friend of hers. Grandfather. Good morning, Dana.

[B]

Hi. Good morning.

[C]

How are you?

[B]

I'm good.

[A]

How are you doing?

[C]

I can instantly tell with the excitement of your voice that things are going very well with Matlock.

[A]

Yes, they are. Definitely.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Everything is so great. And I know everybody's been really skeptical and people are wondering what's going on, but everything is absolutely great. Like I said a couple of weeks ago, I really didn't imagine that I would get everything I got out of one Date. And I'm so happy right now. I really am. I'm still happy. Everything's great. My lease is actually up in June on my apartment.

[B]

No.

[A]

And we've been talking about moving in together and he's even given me a promise ring, which is just incredible.

[B]

What?

[C]

58 year old man giving you a promise ring?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[D]

And you're gonna move in with him in June?

[A]

We're talking about it. I'm seeing if it's, you know, we're just kind of discussing back and forth, just some options and we just, we've talked about it. So I'm leaning towards doing it. Yes.

[D]

When is your vacation with him?

[A]

The vacation is over Memorial Day.

[C]

Do your parents have any idea of how fast things are moving?

[A]

They know that I really, really like him and that I'm falling in love with him. Yes.

[C]

And what's their reaction been? Because initially they said, you know, maybe you want to slow things down here, maybe this isn't right.

[A]

I think that they still think that it's just going to be, you know, kind of a first date issue and that it'll all fizzle out. They really, I think that's what they think. I think that's what they're hoping for. But, but I've been really honest with them and telling him that I'm really falling in love with him and, you know, that I really like him. So we'll see. I mean, they think it's just going to be a phase and, you know, I'll get over it.

[D]

Do they know that you're going to move in with him?

[A]

No, because we're still discussing it. So I, you know, once we get things situated completely, then I'll tell them, but since we're just kind of discussing it, I'm not going to tell them yet.

[D]

What does he do for a living?

[A]

He sells stock, things like that. He used to run a company when he was younger. It was a private owned business, but now he's into stock stock trading.

[C]

So, I mean, he's doing well for himself. I mean, you can see yourself very, very secure financially with this guy. What's our biggest problem with this? Is it his age or is it the fact that this is her first relationship? The first relationship?

[D]

I think it's the first relationship. I mean, both.

[C]

Well, what if he was younger? Wouldn't we be going, oh my God, that's so cool you found love with your first relationship.

[D]

Not if he's progressing this fast. But I think the added element of his age just makes it a little More bothersome for me, but because I. Cause I feel like if it was two 27 year olds who were getting all caught up in it and thinking about moving in and stuff, that's just them being infatuated and not thinking clearly. But I just. He's a 58 year old man who, I don't know, I just feel like he's taking advantage of her naivety.

[C]

And this is based on absolutely nothing really that you've said. But I just imagine this relationship kind of being him dictating everything and you just being very accommodating because you're just so happy to be in any relationship.

[A]

I don't really think so. I mean, I definitely, when it comes to making decisions and things like that, I put my two cents worth in. I mean, even the moving in situation. He suggested if I wanted to move in with him, you know, that I could. And I'm the one that's kind of waiting to see if I should do that or not. So I don't feel like I'm being led in any direction by him. I mean, he's just great. Like, you know, he gave me a promise ring and you know, he's given me time to think about that and.

[C]

He gave me a what? Promise ring.

[D]

A promise ring, yeah. I have a question about your friends. Have your friends met him and have you met his friends?

[A]

I've met a couple of his friends. Just. I mean, I know them because they hang around my parents and things like that. And I've met one of his really good friends since we've been dating. And then the other friends I already know because again, he was friends with my parents first.

[D]

And what about him meeting your friends?

[A]

No, I've just told them about him.

[D]

Everything. About him?

[A]

Yeah, about his age and everything like that. And most of them are skeptical as well.

[B]

There's.

[A]

I have two friends that are really happy for me and think that it sounds great and the way that he takes care of me is amazing. But then I have other friends that really, you know, that are just skeptical about it and think that I'm gonna get my heart broken.

[D]

Well, I have to. I'm probably in the skeptical camp, I gotta be honest, because I just want to plant a seed. Are you sure that he doesn't. He's not at a point in his life where he needs somebody to take care of him? Like, are you sure that once you move in with him that the tide's not gonna turn a little bit and he's. I mean, he's giving you promise Ring. He's going to take you on vacation. He's the one that suggested you move in with him after such a short period of time. And I'm just curious. I mean, here's a 58 year old man's never been married. I'm just wondering if the roles are going to change a little bit once you get in there.

[A]

I don't think he's at that stage of his life yet. I mean, I maybe like when he's in his 70s or something, but I don't see that he's in that stage of his life because I didn't mean.

[D]

That he was elderly and disabled. I mean, like he, you know, want. I mean, he's an older man who is, you know, I mean, you're gonna end up. I'm just wondering if you're gonna end up doing all these things for him domestically. Yes.

[A]

I don't know. I don't do them now. I mean, like I said, the only thing I, you know, that I do domestically is if we decide to cook anything. He actually makes things for me and I make things for him. You know, I'll do like the dishes and stuff, but I mean, everything else he, he does himself. So I don't, I don't know, I don't think that that's in his agenda. But I mean, because he's so used to doing things for himself that by this point I don't think that's what he's counting on.

[C]

All right, the skeptics are calling in. Of course. Good morning, Terry.

[A]

Yeah, I. I am having a problem buying this girl's story. I think she is not as naive as you think. And I think she might be after poor man's money.

[D]

You think he's the victim in this?

[C]

She thinks that Dana's a gold digger. Yeah. Hey, Dana, what do you do for a living? Are you supporting yourself now?

[A]

Yes, I do. I mean, I work at a clothing store and I help do. Excuse me. My voice is going in and out. I help do buying for them. And you know, I'm a buyer. I look at different clothing lines for them. And I mean, I do, I'm doing well. I don't need anybody to support me. And obviously I've never thought about being a gold digger or going after men because I don't. I've never had a relationship. So if I wanted to be a gold digger, I could have done that, you know, years ago. Not what I'm after.

[C]

Good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[B]

Hey.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

I just Wanted to say that I love your show, and I just want to say that I support her and in her happiness and everything, but I wouldn't, you know, go with a guy that was 31 years older than me. But whatever, you know, whatever makes her happy. I think, you know, when you find love, I think you should hold onto it. You know, it doesn't matter if it's the first person she dates, you know, just because it's that, I don't think she should let it go.

[C]

So love is found in really, really strange places and really, really strange circumstances. I guess that's what we're hearing.

[D]

But I would like to say this, that I think promise rings are full of crap.

[C]

Promise rings are okay if you're 16. What do you mean they're full of crap?

[D]

They're just crap. What does that mean?

[C]

Cause it's not an engagement ring.

[D]

I mean, what is that?

[C]

It's a promise. It's what you give when you're not.

[D]

I don't know. I think it's crap.

[C]

And he's plenty. I don't know what it says.

[D]

What is he promising you? Like, I don't. What's the significance of the ring?

[C]

It's a promise ring that you get when you. When you are not old enough to get engaged. It's right after prom. Generally, yes. Although I just found out our intern, Mary Kate, has one, so she's graduating and going to prom here in a couple of weeks also. All right, Dana. Well, I'm not exactly sure where to go with this, except to say we'll check in again with you in two weeks. I mean, it seems like every time we talk to you, this thing is, like, progressing in dog years, you know?

[D]

Well, in a couple weeks, you'll be getting ready for your trip, so. Yeah, we'll see how. Yeah, we'll see how that's going.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Thanks, guys.

[D]

Thanks, Dana.

[C]

Bye. Bye.

[A]

Okay, bye.

[C]

See ya. Get it. The Bird Show. Melissa. Carter, tell us about some of the calls that we took yesterday for. From Administrative assistance.

[D]

Well, it was Administrative Assistance day, and so we were kind of just showing how much administrative assistants know in their office. That's why they have a day to honor them, because I think even bosses underestimate the power of their assistants. And so yesterday we decided to take the phone calls because we had the voice disguiser, and we took phone calls about affairs, about personal business that their bosses are doing through this, you know, their offices about secrets of their bosses, like cross dressing. I mean, just all these things that These assistants know about the boss. The boss doesn't realize that they know.

[C]

The voice disguiser really is a beautiful, beautiful device. I mean, because there's no accountability there. Unless some women gave up too much information, too many specifics yesterday.

[D]

Yeah, I think one woman, she, I think she wanted to tell all and she did her best to try without actually doing it right. We have a hard time telling detail, telling stories without details.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, so she was just giving the details of the story like she.

[C]

Would tell her friends. But then. And it was given up a little.

[D]

Bit more about the doctor and where.

[C]

His offices were and what.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So yesterday's administrative assistance day, as Melissa says. So we kind of turned the tables and we allowed administrative assistants to call up, use the voice disguiser and tell us what the biggest secret is that they know about their boss. And these women gave it up. I mean, totally deep, dark secrets. Here are some of the calls we took yesterday. Good morning. We are going to call you, Julie. Good morning.

[B]

Good morning.

[D]

Hi.

[B]

Hi. I work for a high profile, let's just say consulting firm and the owner, president and very high profile person in his field. And he was married and his wife was pregnant and he would travel to another state quite often and deal with a very high profile attorney who was unmarried. And as his wife gave birth to a little boy, this high profile attorney in another state also became pregnant with twins and she was unmarried. So it was kind of a big scandal, but it was very hush hush. And the. Because I deal with the firm in another state, you know, the admins would get together and kind of try to figure out what was going on. And I would constantly get the expense reports. I always knew where he was going, who he was calling. And his wife ended up finding out, which was very sad because, you know, she loved him dearly. But now he is kind of open about this relationship in a hush hush way. But, you know, it's a little bit more well known.

[C]

And you knew about this before anybody else in the office knew?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Good morning. We will call you. Barbara, you're on the voice disguiser. Hello.

[B]

Hello. How are you?

[C]

Good. You're an administrative assistant?

[B]

I am and I work for the government.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And my boss is running his personal business through the government.

[D]

What?

[B]

Highly illegal. And if anyone finds out, he will be fired and can go to jail.

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

I can't say what business it is, but he's been doing all of his transactions through the computer and he does all his phone calls and he leaves work to go Handle the business. And every day. And I've been doing some of the work for him on the computer.

[C]

So he has this job, but he's not like, funneling funds from the government into his business. He's just. He's just working for his own company on. On government time.

[B]

Right. Well, we're not sure about the money yet.

[C]

Yet. What are you. Why are you building the case?

[B]

Not exactly. No.

[C]

Is this the kind of thing that if he ever wanted, like, he could never fire you because you have information on this?

[B]

Well, he doesn't know that I know.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

But you said. You said.

[B]

Put them down.

[D]

Well, he thinks you're done. Well, and you said you do some of the work on the computer for him in this business. So how does he not realize, you know about his business?

[B]

Because the things that I have to do on the computer are not. How do I explain this without revealing who it is? He. It's very detailed. But he thinks that I'm just doing something to help him. He doesn't think that it's something that I know is being produced for his company.

[C]

Is the government office that he works in similar to the business he's running?

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, is this the name of a government official that if you said it, we would all know?

[B]

No, but the listeners would.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

My co workers would definitely know.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I don't want to get you in trouble. Thank you for calling.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Bye bye. Yeah, there are no shortage of calls. We could go on for four hours if we wanted to. Hey, Ashley, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[B]

Hey.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

I work for an OBGYN office in Alpharetta. And this is very common in the medical field. But this one kind of has a little twist to it. One of the doctors that I work for has been sleeping with his medical assistant for close to about three years now. And the sad part about it is his wife has been just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. And he is constantly spending days and evenings with his medical assistant when I feel he should be home with his wife.

[D]

And he's in the medical field and he's still doing this.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And he has a credit card that he keeps at work. He keeps it taped to the bottom of his drawer in his desk at the Alpharetta office because the medical assistant that he's sleeping with is undercoming office. But he keeps the credit card taped to bottom of his drawer in the Alpharetta office. And twice a month he go, he brings the girl's bill. The medical system Bills like her rent and her utilities and stuff like that, credit cards, car payment, insurance, everything to the front desk. And he has us pay her bills.

[A]

With his credit card while his wife.

[C]

Is sick, in bed with bread. With breast cancer.

[B]

Yeah. And it's. And I'm not sure if her breast cancer is terminal or what the status.

[D]

But it doesn't matter.

[B]

But it's. It's just. I mean, people around the office suspect it. Nobody's been able to confirm it. But she's the office drunk. She's the one who looks good, ends up with her skirt, you know, on the back of her neck at every office party. But with that is that he'll put his wife in the car and set her home after each office party and jump in the car with his medical assistant, like it's not a big deal. And it's sad. It's so sad. And, I mean, there have been times that his wife is called up to the office and she's not feeling well, and she wants me to get him out of her room with a patient. And I'm so tempted to be like, look, lady, your husband's sleeping with his medical assistant just for her sake because she deserves so much better.

[D]

But I'm sure that'd be.

[C]

Well, you know what's gonna happen today is every woman or man, every person who knows an OBGYN whose wife is suffering from breast cancer, who's got an office in Alpharetta and. And in Cumming, is going to be going through their office, tearing it up, seeing if there's a credit card under the desk, because that's the only way you're going to find out if the doctor with a wife with breast cancer is cheating on you in his office in Alpharetta or coming.

[B]

Which is why it's such a lovely thing that you all have this voice disguiser.

[C]

Don't worry. Your secret is safe with us. Hey, Jennifer, you're on all the hits. Q100, half a dime.

[B]

Hi. I just wanted to say good morning and call in to let you guys know I work for a mayor in the metropolitan area and he also runs his personal business from office.

[C]

Okay, now, once again, you're not saying that this. This mayor is funneling money through the government. You're just saying he's doing his own personal business on government time.

[B]

Yes, absolutely.

[C]

He's an OB GYN with an office.

[D]

Now you're his assistant, correct?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

And the other caller was talking about how she was involved somehow in helping him out with the business without him realizing she Was helping him out. Are you. Do you work in this extra business for him?

[B]

No, I just know people stop by and bring him stuff. And he'll have a market, personal and confidential, so that we don't open it and date stamp it, and he'll just put it underneath his door.

[D]

Right.

[B]

But I know that it's not government stuff.

[C]

This is a mayor somewhere in Atlanta.

[D]

Somewhere in the metro area.

[C]

We're in the metro area. Right. On any given eight hour day, how many hours is he spending on personal business?

[B]

I would say at least three.

[C]

Three of the eight.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Can I just reiterate, just to the general public again, why there is a day designed for administrative assistance? Because you need to freaking honor your administrative assistance because they know everything.

[C]

They know. Good morning, Sarah.

[A]

Hey.

[D]

All right, Sarah, you have an.

[B]

I better make mine really fast.

[D]

Yeah, I was gonna say, you have an example now.

[B]

I support a senior VP and three VPs. And I had to. Basically, they fired their old assistant. Their old assistant, because she wasn't, you know, cow counting to them enough.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Anyway, I had to step in. And of course, you know, when you come in, they give you. This is. These are my important calls. These are the people I want to talk to. These are the people that you interrupt me for. Da, da, da, da. So he gives me a list. He's like, I don't care where I am. This is a senior vp. I don't care what I'm doing. If these three people call, come get me. So I'm expecting, like, his wife, you know, he's got his wife, his son, his oldest son. And then he's got this other guy. So I'm like, all right, cool. Well, time goes on. Time goes on. And I noticed that the wife rarely calls, but this one guy on the list just calls all the time. And every time he calls, I don't care what my boss is doing. It's like, I'll go knock on the door. And I'm like, sir, you know, so.

[A]

And so's on the phone.

[B]

Oh, I gotta go take this call. All right. So I couldn't figure out what was going on. I'm like, hey, that's your business. Whatever. Well, the guy ended up the way. And I'm sure Melissa knows about this, about how if you leave a voicemail. Because we have. I have access to all four of.

[C]

Their voicemails because you work for Metro PCs, so you know my voice.

[B]

I get three minutes.

[D]

Oh, it's my. Anyway, my assistant history. Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

I have access to all of Their voicemails. And sometimes there's an issue where they're. Somebody will leave a voicemail for them, but it duplicates into mine. And the guy had left a voicemail and ended up. He hit the wrong button and cc'd it and left it also on my voicemail.

[C]

Oh no. And what did it say?

[B]

Oh my God. He was like, oh, we had so much fun this weekend. And he's like, all this romantic talk and about how I miss you and oh, you know, we just had this wonderful, passionate weekend. And I'm like, what the hell is this?

[D]

He's having the affair with the guy on his wife.

[B]

Yes, but wait a minute now. That's not the kicker. So I'm already tripping, right? I cannot believe this man is just wrong.

[D]

Okay, now, but having an affair is wrong for sure.

[B]

Well, then it turns out that the guy who he's having the affair with, we actually just hired him for a major, major project that we've got going on.

[D]

Well, he got the job because he's this guy's Mr. I guess. Mr. Mr. Mistress.

[C]

Mr. And you said this guy's VP?

[D]

Senior VP?

[B]

He's a senior VP.

[C]

Senior VP, married, with a kid, having an affair with a guy that he just hired on.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Ouch.

[C]

They know. They know everything. They know. You think they don't know? I think we proved they know everything. Sally, we only have time for you to tell like one line of your story. So what. What secret is it that you have on your boss?

[B]

He keeps a size 12 pair of ladies red 6 inch stiletto pumps in his office drawer, locked, along with a black leather sock.

[C]

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