Full Show PT 3: Thursday, July 2 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, July 2 [Vault]

Date: July 2, 2026
Podcast Cast: Bert, Melissa, Jeff, Wendy, Jen, Jessica, Callers & Guests

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers its classic mix of real-life stories, show member banter, listener calls, and lighthearted games. The main themes revolve around everyday mishaps, embarrassing moments, life changes, and the ongoing saga of Bert’s recovery from knee surgery. The cast also includes segments about vegetarian life struggles, forgotten birthdays (and the rewards that follow), and a bridal gown shopping challenge—all peppered with listener stories and the show’s signature playful style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Team Updates and Bert’s Return from Surgery

[01:27–08:09]

• Bert returns to the studio after knee surgery, navigating painkillers and mobility challenges.
• The crew jokes about mishaps, including an on-air accidental underwear reveal by Jen (“I’ve got green underwear, and you want to see?” – Jen, [03:03]).
• Bert shares his knee injury and recovery journey, explaining ACL and meniscus surgery in detail:
  • “The ACL is the ligament that allows you to have lateral movement... The meniscus is the cushion between the bones in your knees.” – Jeff, [06:22]
  • Describes choosing to use his own hamstring rather than a donor graft, and the peculiar side effects from painkillers (hot and cold flashes, dry mouth, mental fog).
• Funny moment: Bert reading Jeff’s painkiller-fueled tweets aloud (e.g., “Percocet train just left the station” – Bert, [09:39]).

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2. The "Wrong Name" Mishap

[16:54–22:56]

• Bert confesses to calling an acquaintance "Andrea" for a year when her name was actually Amanda, leading to a roundtable of similar stories from the cast and listeners.
  • “So much so that they were in my phone incorrectly.” – Bert, [17:34]
  • Callers share their own cringe-worthy misnaming experiences, including someone called “Steve” instead of “Jack Jazz” for a year ([20:31]).
  • Discussion on the social awkwardness of correcting people, and how long to let it go before finally fixing it.

---

3. Photoshop Drama: Listener Relationship Woes

[22:59–24:24]

• Jennifer updates the show about her husband photoshopping her bikini pictures to look skinnier and posting them online without her knowledge.
  • “She proudly declared, well, I want a bracelet.” – Bert, [24:00]
  • The situation is turned in her favor when she gets an apology — and a new bracelet to make up for it.

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4. Listeners Share: Forgotten Birthdays & “Big Payouts”

[24:25–31:28]

• A stream of listener calls recounting spectacular “make-up gifts” after husbands forget their birthdays, from jewelry to a new car.
  • “I was looking online… I think I might get me a car. My husband says, you don’t need a car right now. I was like, oh, yeah, I do.” – Joanie, [25:33]
  • Lively debate: Should women have to remind men of their birthdays, or is it their responsibility to remember?
  • Hilarious topper: A husband mistakes his new wife’s birthday with his ex-wife’s — and buys a two-carat ring as a result ([30:33]).

---

5. Update on Hayden’s Audition and Child Acting

[12:24–13:57], [33:34–35:28]

• Jeff shares the journey of his son Hayden, who auditioned for a movie being filmed in Atlanta after being told he looked like the younger version of one of the film’s stars.
  • “Hayden said he was in there for 10 seconds… ‘Hayden Weiss, 7 years old, blue eyes’… and she said, thank you.” – Jeff, [13:14]
• The cast jokes about stage parents and the prospect of Hayden’s big screen debut.

---

6. Real-Life Struggles: The Incomplete Vegetarian Transition

[35:28–45:47]

• Melissa and her partner Katie try switching to a vegetarian (and maybe vegan) diet after being affected by the documentary Food Inc.
• Discussion about Southern food culture, the realistic difficulties of sticking to vegetarianism, and the importance of meal preparation.
  • “If you have a balanced meal and you’re eating your food, then if there are portions that you’re used to eating that you don’t have… then you don’t tend to miss it.” – Melissa, [38:11]
• Wendy and others chime in on the expense and accessibility of organic food versus conventional produce.
• Call-in by Dr. Michael ([42:01]), who discusses the “Eat Right for Your Type” diet and its basis on blood type, stirring curiosity and healthy skepticism from the cast.
  • “If you’re an O positive, there’s a really good chance that if you eat breads and pastas, you’re going to end up with a migraine.” – Dr. Michael, [42:41]

---

7. Running of the Brides: Soon-To-Be Newlywed Game

[48:13–55:23]

• The annual bridal gown event is on, and listeners compete in a game to win priority access to the racks.
• Two couples play a version of ‘The Newlywed Game,’ with questions about each other’s wedding plans (number of bridesmaids, wedding budgets, wedding dress size).
  • “With every wrong answer, Emma got more and more effort… we’re having a conversation after this is over.” – Jessica, [54:44]
• Prize twist: The winning bride’s groom is tasked with shopping for the wedding dress based solely on her verbal description, to see how well he’s really been listening.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On painkillers: “The painkillers were really fun the first couple days, and I’m not so much into them anymore.” – Jeff, [08:09]
• Surgery tweets: “Percocet train just left the station.” – Bert, [09:39]
• Wedding budgets: “Emma, is Paul still getting married to you?” – Wendy, [52:56]
• On meatless meals: “If you’ve never had the meat, then you don’t miss meat, is what she’s saying.” – Jeff, [38:29]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:27] – Bert’s return to the studio; recap of surgical drama
• [03:03] – Accidental on-air underwear confession
• [06:22] – ACL & meniscus explained
• [09:39] – Dramatic reading of painkiller-induced tweets
• [16:54] – The “calling people by the wrong name” roundtable
• [22:59] – Photoshop marriage dispute update
• [24:25] – Forgetting birthdays: from jewelry to Mustangs
• [33:34] – Hayden’s acting audition update
• [35:28] – Vegetarian struggles and Food Inc. impact
• [42:01] – Call-in: Diet, blood type, and “Eat Right for Your Type” debate
• [48:13] – Running of the Brides/Nearlywed Game

---

Tone & Style

The episode maintains the authentic, cheeky tone the show is known for. Banter and self-deprecating humor abound, especially around embarrassing moments and personal flaws. Listener stories are treated with both empathy and humor. The show’s style is energetic, warm, and real—generally opting to find laughs in the ordinary mishaps of life.

---

Conclusion

This lively Bert Show episode offers a satisfying mix of personal updates, relatable listener stories, honest admissions of mistakes, and playful competition. Whether they’re discussing knee surgery, social blunders, diet experiments, or wedding plans, the crew brings their authentic voices and camaraderie, making even the awkward or everyday feel hilarious and worth listening to.

Perfect listening for anyone who loves real talk, quick wit, and finding the humor in life’s chaos.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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Get it?

[Show Announcer]

The Birch Show.

[Bert]

Bullish distraction. We're not used to having guests in the studio and I'm about to take a picture of this and I'll send it to Joanna for our website. It's pathetic, but Bert just made his way. Well, a roster change this morning. If you've been listening to the Bird show, you know that Bert had an operation last Thursday on his knee. So he took Friday off. He wanted to come in on Monday, but he's on pain pill. He'll tell you all about it in a second. So he's been out.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Bert]

But he sent Tracy a message and said, I'm going to at 9 o'.

[Caller/Guest]

Clock.

[Bert]

I'm going to start making my way in there. So anytime between 9 and 11, I'll show up.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Bert]

So he has hobbled his way into the station. Meanwhile, at about 8:45, when Jen showed Melissa her underwear, thinking that we were off the air, but we were really on the air.

[Jeff]

You have to explain that one to me a little bit better.

[Melissa]

All right, so we were talking about the fact that Jeff did not have Anything green for St. Patrick's Day and that, you know, people are still in the eighth grade, because I did go pinch him this morning. And so Wendy had given Jeff some Mardi Gras beads that are green so he'll have something green on today. So then I made the sarcastic response that, well, if you're out there and you don't have green, you can't use the excuse, well, I've got green underwear on.

[Jeff]

You know, I've got green on.

[Melissa]

I've got a green bra on that you can't see. Because that's what kids would always say, like, if they didn't have green.

[Jeff]

This is during a break.

[Melissa]

This is during mic's on Everywhere.

[Jeff]

This isn't one of these weird conversations that start off the air with them while I hit the bed. And you guys don't realize we're on the air.

[Bert]

No, we're talking.

[Melissa]

Cause we're talking about being at fideaux tonight for St. Patrick's Day.

[Bert]

I started out by saying, hey, don't forget, Johnny O. Is at Fideaux in 11. And then Wendy made a comment about the beads. Melissa, the pinching made the underwear statement. So we're bantering back and forth, and

[Melissa]

Jen looks at me and says, I've got green underwear, and you want to see? And then start pulling it out of her pants.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And then she did.

[Melissa]

And then, you know, after Jeff tried to lean in and look and then stopped himself, then she looked. He started talking about Guinness. And then Jen turned and said, oh, my God, are we on the air?

[Jeff]

Oh, get out of here.

[Bert]

But we're all wearing headphones at the same time.

[Melissa]

We've been talking for two or three minutes already by this point. So it wasn't when we just can't, you know, so. So that's when Jen realized that she was hitting a wall. And so we have made a roster change where, like, Jeff said, Bird is in, but Jeff left. I mean, Jen left early because she was starting to feel bad again.

[Jeff]

It's so hot in here, y'.

[Jen]

All.

[Jeff]

Like these pain pills, they are like a heat roller coaster. Like, when I'm up moving Around. I feel like it's 140 degrees, but if I sit here long enough, I get freezing.

[Melissa]

It's almost like menopause.

[Bert]

Well, Wendy.

[Jeff]

That's right. Wendy's having my period on last Thursday, so all the symptoms are the same.

[Bert]

Wendy turned the thermostat up because you had sent a tweet about how cold you were getting. So we thought we were being n. Once we find out what time you'd be here, we thought we were doing nice for you.

[Jeff]

I didn't realize that the hall was a mile and a half long. You don't realize how long it is until you're on crutches.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, yeah, when he said it, because Jeff was saying, oh, yeah, Bert's gonna be in here about 9:15. And that was about 8:45. And I said, well, he's actually down the hall. It's just gonna take him 30 minutes.

[Bert]

We have two things to talk to Bert about. And then we also were supposed to talk to Frankie and Bert. We won't even try to bring you up to speed on the townhouse thing, but because you're on pain pills and it's. And it's going into. It's going to go into week number three.

[Melissa]

It hasn't included yet.

[Bert]

It's so awesome.

[Jeff]

But Frankie confronted the dude at one point, right?

[Bert]

Frankie confronted the dude, found out he wasn't a real estate agent, and then Frankie and his sister spent the night in the bushes.

[Jeff]

Get out of here. Come on.

[Commercial Announcer]

Really?

[Jeff]

That is a commitment for a guy that's not getting paid huge.

[Melissa]

And there's a TV on in the townhouse the whole night.

[Bert]

So Frankie actually broke into a real estate agent's database.

[Jeff]

This is great.

[Melissa]

So he found the owner. The real estate agent of this townhouse is actually the owner. So he. So the next step was he was going to call her. It was a her. That's not the guy. Walking to the townhouse and talk to him. Because the theory is if he's not doing anything illegal, he may be the security guy that comes in and turns that TV off every morning so that it looks like it's lived in.

[Jeff]

Well, if I'm a listener, the message is loud and clear that if you call us to do it. I'm just curious. We're gonna go above and beyond to get this idea.

[Commercial Announcer]

Absolutely.

[Jessica]

Y.

[Bert]

So anyways, we're not gonna give you the update on that.

[Jeff]

Don't need it.

[Melissa]

Don't tell me not to do something.

[Bert]

Then I'll do it, because I wanna make sure we talk to you about two things. We gotta find out about your leg. And then you sent a tweet out that Hayden's got an audition.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Cause you told us last week that he was gonna start pursuing acting more seriously. Cause he loves it so much. So we wanna talk about his audition.

[Jeff]

Which one you wanna cover first?

[Bert]

It's up to you. You're the guest.

[Jeff]

Let's do the leg here. The leg feels worse this time than it did on my left one. When I did it, what, three years ago, I ripped the ACL off the femur and I tore the meniscus clean this time. And I'm not sure if I did it playing soccer or if I started the whole injury playing soccer and then re injured it when I was down in Costa Rica on that boat. But that was the result.

[Bert]

Can you tell me what the ACL is and what a meniscus is?

[Melissa]

Wendy, don't pass out.

[Jeff]

The ACL is the ligament that allows you to have lateral movement, I believe, in your leg. So it can go this way and this way.

[Commercial Announcer]

Like this thing?

[Jeff]

Yes. And this way also.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Yep. And the meniscus is the cushion between the bones and your knees.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

So if you don't have any cushion there, you have arthritis. It's bone on bone.

[Bert]

And you'll just wear your knees down.

[Jeff]

You wear your knees down right there. So that was torn clean. So they had to put pins in and reattach the meniscus together. And they used my hamstring to reattach my ACL to my femur.

[Bert]

Hold on. Wendy, you okay?

[Wendy]

Honey?

[Jen]

I'm hanging in there.

[Bert]

I read your email at 5:30 this morning, the one you sent us yesterday. And Wendy almost passed out.

[Jeff]

Did I say the same thing in it?

[Bert]

Similar.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Jen]

He said something about Scotch tape and using this to connect to this and pins and needles.

[Melissa]

Well, I'm fascinated that they could do that. They took the hamstring and they could reconnect the ACL to.

[Jeff]

You know, you could either take it out of a dead person or you could take it out of your own hamstring. And I went with my own, so.

[Jen]

Oh, it's slimy.

[Jeff]

And yeah, he did a great job on it. I guess so.

[Bert]

And did you get your breasts done while you were under? Because they look great.

[Jeff]

I had them reduced.

[Bert]

Okay. They look good.

[Jeff]

I was working out a little too hard, a little too much muscle melt. So I got them reduced. And the recovery on it is six weeks. Zero weight on the foot at all. So I have to be on These crutches. And then four weeks, I think, in the brace.

[Bert]

Now, I'm assuming.

[Jeff]

And the rehab started already. Started yesterday.

[Bert]

I'm assuming that because I think you're a fool for coming in. Because if you twist it again, you're doing this all over again. Right?

[Jeff]

Yeah, but the same thing could happen in my house.

[Bert]

Well, I was gonna say, I'm assuming your house is getting smaller and smaller and smaller.

[Jeff]

The painkillers were really fun the first couple of days, and I'm not so much into them anymore. They make you irritable, and my mouth is dry all the time, and I can't think, and it's just not nearly as fun as it was first day.

[Jen]

Well, I did make your tweets entertaining

[Melissa]

to read, because none of that.

[Jen]

There was no spelling corrections in any of them.

[Jeff]

I did have to apologize to Stacey for one of them.

[Bert]

The Percocects.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Bird said at it. You know what, Scacey?

[Melissa]

Well, we saved them, right? Because we were.

[Jen]

It was Scacey. S, C A, C, E Y.

[Jeff]

Well, you're so tired when you're tweeting that you see the mistakes, but it takes so much effort to backspace and then correct it. You're like, screw it.

[Bert]

We were going to have you do a dramatic reading of your tweets.

[Melissa]

We still should. We still should. Because we were going to wait till you felt a little better, your mind was a little clearer, and let you reread your tweets from surgery.

[Jeff]

I assure you, my mind's not any clearer today than it was when I was doing that.

[Bert]

Here it comes. I do enjoy the tweet where you said, I've got 50 new followers in the past 24 hours since I've been tweeting on drugs.

[Jeff]

Yes. Enablers.

[Bert]

So here are some of my favorites. This is from the best of Burt on Twitter. Somebody is at the door downstairs, but I can't answer it. So I'm screaming from my bedroom like James Caan in Misery.

[Jeff]

I'm like, I'm here.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm here.

Call.

[Jeff]

Because there's nobody in the house. And I couldn't at that point. I was hooked up to the ice machine, and I couldn't detach it myself, so I couldn't go downstairs.

[Bert]

And then here's one. At 11:18, the Percocet train just left the station and slightly nervous. At 11:20, the Percocet train just left the station. Let's see what else the pre. Was this pre surgery? No, this is post surgery. No lie. It took three razors to shave the hair off my knee before surgery.

[Jeff]

That is true. That is absolutely true. She said it's the first time that she's ever had to use three razors on somebody's knee.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

It was so ugly.

[Show Announcer]

I was so embarrassed.

[Jeff]

It looks like a poo. It's like a poodle's leg.

[Jen]

You needed one of those cool designs drawing in there.

[Melissa]

I just shade around so bad. Tracy's writing her next commercial right now

[Bert]

out of sirjury. S I E G E L R Y Ouch. Many Percocet Woo.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I was just taking off. I think I didn't realize even how high I was those first couple of days until like the third day.

[Bert]

The I hate that pimple half t Stop what they are doing to help.

[Jeff]

Oh, people.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

I hate that people have to stop doing what they're doing to help.

[Bert]

Have heartburn from all the chick flick fries I just ate.

[Jeff]

Have heartburn from the chick fil A fries I just ate.

[Jen]

Okay, That's a new restaurant, the chick flick hose.

[Bert]

I don't puke.

[Jeff]

Hope I don't puke.

[Bert]

Okay, cool.

[Caller/Guest]

Got it.

[Bert]

Got it. And then the one that got you in trouble. Percocects denied.

[Jeff]

Right? And you can understand why. So it's been like that the last couple of days. And yeah, the doctor said it usually takes a week to get back to work, but I was just like, I can either be miserable at home or I could be miserable in here with you guys. So I thought I'd at least try it. But I'm not promising anything tomorrow.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, because I've no. I know friends have had the same surgery and they all were like, there's no way he's coming back. I think if I just try to

[Jeff]

like, you know, take it like one half an hour at a time. So I was in here like 9:30 today. Maybe 9 or 8:30 tomorrow. Then maybe that's the way to go. But I can't talk. I can't. Like, it's hard for me to focus on what you guys are saying. Like, the words are just a little slow and it's not nearly as fun as it was on that first.

[Bert]

I said yesterday when I emailed you, I was emailing you back and I was on the phone with somebody else and I was saying that what I think would be most useful, rather than trying to stand up or sit there and work the, you know, whatever and for five hours and then be done at the end, will be to come in for our meetings after the show. And the person I was talking to said, well, if he's on painkillers, that wouldn't be good either. And I'm like, actually, that might be great.

[Jeff]

I thought that yesterday, too, but I was just too tired to write you back. I was like, he won't get it. Just come in and I'll prove to him what I mean.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

So the Hayden stuff, this is really pretty exciting. So, yeah, we told you guys that Hayden signed up with an agent, the people store down in Atlanta, and they got him in a couple of workshops and stuff like that. And just the timing was really good that this Owen Wilson movie is shooting in Atlanta right now. So he went to audition for it, and I'm not sure if the agent or a casting director took a look at Hayden and just said, oh, my God, this kid looks just like the younger version of another celebrity that's in the movie.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Jeff]

So we think we want him in the movie. So have him come on in one time just so another producer can't. We can put him on camera for like 10 seconds. So about three days ago, Hayden went down there, talked to the producer and where is there?

[Bert]

I'm not sure what you said or is it the office of your casting person?

[Jeff]

I think it was the. I think it was the office.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

So Hayden said he was in there for 10 seconds. Stacy said it took literally less than 10 seconds. She said, tell me your name, your age, and your eye color. So he said, Hayden Weiss, 7 years old, blue eyes. And she said, thank you. Turned the camera off and said, okay, we'll be calling you. So I think if he gets the part, it'll only be because he looks like the guy that's older, but, yeah, he might be in it.

[Jen]

That's awesome.

[Jeff]

We're waiting on the call. Who knows?

[Bert]

This is. You know, I don't think they came to you with this because you've been under the weather, but Princess called us, and Hayden and his friends are actually going to be in a reality TV show called Little boys of Atlanta, and we're going to follow.

[Jeff]

He's not sure he wants to take it yet. He has got to look at the contract and he's going to debate it over with us for a while that

[Melissa]

he'll realize all his buddies want to do it.

[Jeff]

But, you know, so that's it really, in my world right now, man. And I'm just telling you, it's a struggle for me right now to even talk to you guys. Like, my tongue feels numb and I just can't get the words out.

[Caller/Guest]

So.

[Melissa]

Well, you look great. I mean, I thought you were gonna come. No, seriously, I thought that he was gonna come in pale, you know, still on pain medicine. Cause sometimes, you know, but you look. You look good.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Bert]

Well, we'll make the last few minutes of the show easy for you.

[Jeff]

Okay?

[Bert]

You can have a pic of one of two things. You can either hear Governor Sonny Perdue, who joined the show earlier.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Bert]

Or you can hear Joanna doing three minutes of standup comedy.

[Jeff]

No disrespect, Governor, but you're on your way out. Let's go with Joanna.

[Caller/Guest]

All right.

[Bert]

We'll explain why Joanna did stand up comedy for the Burt show. And she actually. I think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised. She's. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised you're

[Show Announcer]

on the Burt show.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's now, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O R-H-E R S.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightlifts by hers is not available in all 50 states. With Gobi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borheart.com Happy birthday, America.

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[Show Announcer]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Jeff]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Show Announcer]

Listen, it's the vert show.

[Bert]

There's a very humbling experience that took place for me within the past 72 hours. It was a. Actually, there's a couple of them, because I remember I told Melissa about one last night. This isn't that one. This is. This is a situation where somebody said something to me that made me feel like I'm about five' ten, five' eleven. Made me feel about 110, 111.

[Melissa]

What happened? I usually have such a thick skin.

[Bert]

I have been calling someone who I wouldn't consider a friend, but an acquaintance by the wrong name for over a year.

[Wendy]

And they just corrected you?

[Bert]

Yes.

[Wendy]

What happened? Who was it?

[Bert]

So much so that they were in my phone incorrectly.

[Wendy]

No way.

[Jen]

No, no, no, no.

[Wendy]

How did you figure this out?

[Bert]

When she finally had enough of it and said thanks with a couple of drinks in the system.

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[Show Announcer]

Oh.

[Jen]

Foot and mouth.

[Caller/Guest]

What happened?

[Wendy]

Was it like you were calling her Laura and it's Lauren, Amanda, Andrea.

[Jen]

Oh, that's a little bit of a difference.

[Wendy]

What were you calling her?

[Bert]

Andrea.

[Wendy]

And her name's Amanda?

[Bert]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Melissa]

Oh, and you did this for over a year? No. I could completely see me doing the same thing.

[Bert]

And I think what happened was. I think the first time that I met her, because I don't. I have crappy hearing in, like, bar scenes and club scenes and at concerts and stuff like that. Like, I just. If there's loud ambient noise.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

My hearing is lousy. So just so you know, your headphones

[Wendy]

are almost as loud as Burt's.

[Bert]

Yeah, they're getting. They might be getting louder, so. So in situations like bars and stuff, bear with me if I ever laugh at an inappropriate time, because all that means is I didn't hear you. And it's the same thing I do to people with heavy accents. I just assume the last thing you said was funny. If I couldn't understand it, smile and nod and laugh. So I think what happened was that she said Amanda I screwed it up already. What's her real name? She said her real name's Amanda. Amanda? Yeah. And I just heard Andrea, like, and then it just stuck.

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[Melissa]

But she allowed you to call her for over a year. Call her by the wrong name before she said something.

[Bert]

Yeah, but it's a person that I have contact with once or twice a year. But I have sent emails, and I have not gone back yet into my email to look and see if I. You know, sometimes you just send an email that just starts with, hey, hope you're well, blah, blah, blah. And then other times it starts with Andrea, comma, how's everything with you? I saw your husband the other day at the.

[Caller/Guest]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Bert]

You know, try to be nice about it. And for once in my life, I'm hoping I wasn't nice in my emails.

[Melissa]

Aw. People tend to call me Michelle a lot. Like, I don't know why. If they call me the wrong name, it's always Michelle. And so the first time. There's been plenty of times where I've just let it go because I feel like rude and a jerk by just saying no. It's actually Melissa. But I wonder how long it would take me to correct them if they continuously did it. And it would take me a while because I would just feel so awkward.

[Wendy]

I wonder how often I've done it to other people and they don't correct me.

[Bert]

Now Jessica always gets Jennifer for some reason, and sometimes we just let that go.

[Wendy]

Just let it happen.

[Jen]

I get Whitney. So, I mean, you do Whitney.

[Melissa]

Wendy instead of Wendy.

[Jen]

Yeah, especially if you're in a loud place. So I just let it go for

[Melissa]

the most part because I feel I don't want to embarrass them, you know, but it's not.

[Bert]

I mean, they shouldn't be. Isn't it? It should. That embarrass.

[Melissa]

Embarrassing, right?

[Jen]

Well, one correction is fine. If you have to do it multiple times, then no.

[Bert]

Hey, Candy. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Bert]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

I've done the same thing at work. There was a guy that worked there, and I called him Steve. I introduced him as Steve to other co workers, and over a year later, found out through his girlfriend that his name was Jack Jazz.

[Melissa]

Jazz.

[Bert]

Not even close. Did you apologize? Did you apologize to him or what? Like, did you just.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I. You know, I went up and I said, I don't know how I ever come up with Steve.

[Melissa]

But that's funny.

[Bert]

I thought. I was sure that she was gonna say, like, Scott or something.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Not even close.

[Wendy]

Something even close.

[Bert]

Hey, Rebecca. Welcome to the show.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning. I'm a big fan.

[Bert]

Oh, thank you very much.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, don't feel bad. Cause my neighbor across the street called my father by the wrong name for eight years.

[Bert]

Oh, no.

[Wendy]

Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

[Bert]

Okay. What's your father's real name?

[Caller/Guest]

Paul.

[Bert]

And what did the neighbor call him?

[Caller/Guest]

Fred.

Fred.

[Bert]

That's not even close. You know what? Thank you so much to the Bird show listeners for making me feel so much smarter.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Because at least I had the same first letter.

[Melissa]

Yeah, exactly.

[Show Announcer]

If it's talked about, rumored, or gossiped, you'll hear it first on Jen Hobby's Entertainment Buzz Q100.

[Bert]

All right, the entertainment buzz is going to be on pause for a minute.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Bert]

I can't. Joanna typed this quickly. What's your name? Is it Margie?

[Jessica]

Marjorie.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Marjorie.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Okay, Marjorie. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm great. How are you?

Good.

[Bert]

How long has your co worker been calling you by the wrong name?

[Caller/Guest]

Since I started, which is almost three years.

[Bert]

Three years.

[Wendy]

And you haven't corrected him?

[Caller/Guest]

I corrected him once and he still called me Maggie. And he's told my boss my name is Maggie.

[Bert]

How often do you have interaction with this guy?

[Caller/Guest]

Almost every day.

[Wendy]

And he calls you Maggie?

[Caller/Guest]

He calls me Maggie.

[Bert]

And you're Marjorie.

[Caller/Guest]

My name is Margie.

[Bert]

All right, listen, Marjorie. It's time to stand up.

[Wendy]

We gotta call us.

[Bert]

It is time to take a stand. I want you to hold on. Okay. And talk to you after Entertainment Buzz. And we want. Today is the day you're gonna fix it.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay?

[Commercial Announcer]

All right.

[Wendy]

We're gonna hold your hand while you do it.

[Bert]

You have to hold on to your identity, sister.

[Melissa]

That's right.

[Bert]

Do not let Maggie Sayers put you down.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Do not let him steal your name at work.

[Show Announcer]

This is the Burch show.

[Bert]

We talked to Jennifer yesterday, and she was upset because her husband photoshopped pictures and put them on Facebook. Photoshopped her skinnier without telling her.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

They had been on vacation and he put these skinny bikini pictures up, and she just put her regular bikini pictures up. And so it was really ticked off because people on Facebook were making fun of her and were lining up the pictures side by side. So she was really mad. She went home last night and got her apology that she wanted.

[Bert]

If he was smart, he would have just said, I didn't Photoshop anything. I just think that the computer that I downloaded the pictures on.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, right.

[Bert]

You know, it's a skinnier computer, because that's believable.

[Melissa]

Oh, My God. So like in a fun house.

[Bert]

So when Jennifer called us today.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Bert]

She, she said that basically she sat down with her husband and said, hey, you know, you really hurt my feelings. And he apologized and he took the pictures down. But she didn't let it rest because he really asked. He really, really hurt my feelings.

[Wendy]

And he said, can I do anything

[Melissa]

to make it up to you?

[Wendy]

Exactly. And she's like, well, in fact, there's this bracelet I've been wanting.

[Melissa]

And she proudly.

[Bert]

Yeah, she proudly declared, well, I want a bracelet.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Bert]

And so she has turned this situation. I'm not saying that he was right in the beginning. I'm just saying that I think that women know what they're doing and can steer the UPS truck right up their driveway to bring them a gift.

[Jen]

Well, it's because guys aren't smart, so you gotta take advantage of that.

[Wendy]

Men being simple, sometimes we can.

[Bert]

Hey Joanie.

[Caller/Guest]

Uh huh.

[Bert]

How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm fine, how are you?

Good.

[Bert]

You're gonna be the first of a few calls. Husbands forget the birthday turns into big payout.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, he did okay. Forgot my birthday and that morning. And I had been given hints and he's a good person, he's just absent minded. I have been giving him for like a week ahead of time. And then I stopped all of a sudden. I didn't say anything else about my birthday. And then like three days later, my birthday comes and I go all day. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word. That night I came home and my daughter said, mommy, happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Bert]

Was he in the room?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm sorry, I was.

[Bert]

Was he in the room when your daughter said that?

[Caller/Guest]

Uh huh. He looked around and he was like, it's your birthday.

[Jen]

Oh no, no.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. I said, yeah, just all day, you know.

[Wendy]

Oh my goodness. So what did he do?

[Caller/Guest]

He just kind of looked really strange. He had this really, really red look on his face. And I just like walked on around and he was just moping and saying, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. I'm sorry, what can I do? I said, well, nothing now, I'll just wait. So I just soaked it in for about a good month. And a friend of his was over to the house and he says, whatever became of your birthday? I said, oh, nothing, I was just looking online, looking at cars and things and I said, I think I might get me a car. My husband says, no, you don't need a car right now. We really don't need to be Spending that extra money. I was like, oh, yeah, I do need a car right now. I think I do.

[Melissa]

So he got you a car to make up for not remembering your birthday?

[Caller/Guest]

He had to, because I went to the dealership and I picked out the car, and I called him and I said, you need to get up here right away because this is my birthday gift.

[Bert]

Now, did you.

[Caller/Guest]

And I picked out the hottest convertible Mustang they had on the girl.

[Bert]

Now, did you intentionally stop mentioning your birthday a week out in order to force him into forgetting it?

[Caller/Guest]

Not really, but I just wanted to kind of. I just wanted to let everybody just say, okay, you know, she does everything for everybody. She remembers everybody's birthday all the time. Let's just do something for her.

[Melissa]

Now. See, she. Yes, you do that. Especially on the day. Like on your birthday, if the person doesn't, you know, immediately say something, then you just. Okay, well, I'll just wait. How long it takes.

[Bert]

Wait time.

[Wendy]

At the Ford dealership, Jeff said, did you purposefully not mention it so he would forget it? That's his job to remember.

[Bert]

She just said that she was giving.

[Wendy]

That's his job to remember his wife's birthday.

[Bert]

For three weeks leading up to it, she was talking about it, but then she stopped a week out.

[Wendy]

Yeah, but so what? He should still remember it.

[Bert]

She falsely gave him the confidence that she would remind him.

[Show Announcer]

Stop it.

[Caller/Guest]

Stop it.

[Jen]

He should have been planning it on three weeks, Wendy.

[Bert]

She spent three weeks letting him.

[Jen]

Then he should have been planning it.

[Wendy]

Then he equals, dumbass.

[Bert]

She spent three weeks letting him know that I'll remind you of my birthday.

[Wendy]

He is the square root of idiot.

[Bert]

Hey, Terry. Welcome to the bird show. Hey, how are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm good.

[Bert]

How'd you scam your man?

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, well.

Hey. Hey, watch it. I didn't scam him. He forgot my birthday.

[Wendy]

Exactly.

[Caller/Guest]

We were.

We were sitting on the couch watching tv, and I kept looking at him like, hello. You know, are you gonna say anything? And he.

[Jessica]

And he finally looks at me.

[Caller/Guest]

He goes, what's the matter with you? He goes, what, did I, like, forget an anniversary or something? Oh, my God. I started bawling. I just started crying. I go, you forgot my birthday. Now, he didn't ask what he could do to make up for him. I just promptly told him that it would cost him a carrot because I had been wanting my diamond ring.

[Wendy]

Nice. It would cost him a carrot. How long have y' all been together at this point when he forgot your birthday?

[Caller/Guest]

About four years.

[Melissa]

We'd been married four years inexcusable yeah, agreed.

[Bert]

Now before you.

[Caller/Guest]

And now he doesn't forget. He's like, oh, somebody's got a birthday coming up.

[Melissa]

See, Training him like a dog.

[Wendy]

Now the birthday, it'll only cost him a carrot once.

[Bert]

The birthday that he forgot. How many days before that birthday did you last bring up your birthday?

[Caller/Guest]

I never do. See?

[Wendy]

See?

[Caller/Guest]

Hey.

[Jessica]

He doesn't expect me to forget his

[Caller/Guest]

and I never do.

[Melissa]

Because in the age of smartphones, there's no reason to forget a birthday.

[Bert]

To be honest, smartphones were made for dumb guys.

[Melissa]

Yes, absolutely.

[Bert]

Hey Taylor. Welcome to the birthday.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, how's it going? Good.

[Bert]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Why do women not remind us that it's their birthday?

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Wendy]

Why do we have to?

[Caller/Guest]

Some guys are absent minded.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Sometimes we need a little bit of encouragement and reminder.

[Wendy]

That is your job.

[Jen]

That one woman gave him three weeks. Three weeks getting the gift. It should be done wrapped in a nice little bow.

[Melissa]

This guy. You are, you love Jeff. And so why are you encouraging him? You don't even believe what you're saying because you have a smirk on your face as you're saying it.

[Jeff]

Come on.

[Bert]

Why? I'm just, just curious. Why? Why don't you guys pick one? You can either have Valentine's Day, anniversary or birthday. We'll remember one of them.

[Melissa]

Do you want to have sex more?

[Bert]

You guys remind us of the other two right now.

[Melissa]

Did you hear what I said? No, I'm not talking to you. Come on now. But I know it's before 8:30, but if you want to have a nice private life then you'll remember every day.

[Bert]

Kara is going to be the last phone call that we're going to take. And this cannot be topped. This guy will. This guy will. I am going to have to separate myself from him. We are different characters. We are different breeds of guys. Because I don't even know if I would make this mistake. Okay, go ahead, Karen.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Jessica]

This actually happened to my mother. She got married in January to my stepdad. And in May she came home from work one day and he had cooked this huge dinner and she was like, you know, what's the occasion? Because he had candles out and everything. And he was like, it's your birthday. And she was like, no, my birthday is in October. And come to find out it's his ex wife's birthday.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh no.

[Melissa]

What did she get out of it?

[Bert]

That turned into something good?

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

What did she get?

[Jessica]

Well, she originally had a half carat wedding ring and he ended up going and buying her a two karat ring and everything. And she just, she was so mad and come to find out he had

[Caller/Guest]

actually been talking to the ex wife.

[Jessica]

So they got divorced, but oh, she

[Melissa]

got a nice big divorce out of it.

[Jessica]

Yeah, that's what she got.

[Wendy]

A two karat ring and a nice big divorce.

[Melissa]

And a nice big divorce.

[Bert]

Wow.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Show Announcer]

It's the vert show.

[Commercial Announcer]

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It's bluff here. And you know what's more American than America's 250th birthday? Supporting American owned companies like Spinquest, America's number one social casino. With over a thousand games like live dealer, blackjack and craps. They're offering new users a 30 coin package for just $10. Go to spinquest.com and sign up. Today.

[Show Announcer]

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[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six all new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Bert]

Refreshers contain caffeine here.

[Show Announcer]

Bert show.

[Bert]

So both Melissa and. How you doing back there, Bert? You okay?

[Jeff]

Yeah. When did we start the show?

[Melissa]

Do you know where you are? How did I get here?

[Bert]

Have you heard anything about Hayden yet?

[Jeff]

Not yet, no. They haven't called. You know about this, Jen?

[Wendy]

I heard a little bit yesterday on my way home. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay. Nothing. Update. Really haven't heard anything yet.

[Melissa]

Yeah, Hayden auditioning for a role in a movie and hadn't heard back yet.

[Jeff]

It wasn't even so much an audition. They just brought him in really, and looked at him and said, you look like the kid version of one of the adults that's in the movie.

[Melissa]

Which makes me think he has a better shot. That's what we're thinking, too.

[Jeff]

I mean, if it's based only on looks, sure, yeah. Why not?

[Melissa]

So we'll see if the next couple of days. Because it's cool to watch a movie where you see the, you know, flashbacks of an actor and that they cast somebody. I mean, it's neat to see, like, wow, they really do look like a young version of.

[Wendy]

He could be the kid version of Luke Wilson.

[Jeff]

Of Luke.

[Commercial Announcer]

Ooh.

[Wendy]

Don't you think Caden would look like

[Melissa]

a kid version of him?

[Jeff]

They're only filming, I think, like another week here in town is what I heard. So we would get the call pretty quick. I think it was going to happen.

[Bert]

Or you know what it could be. I was reminded of this because a friend of mine who listens online sent an email to remind me that when he was a child he was cast like that. Somebody knew his mom was like a caterer on a movie set, and he came with her one day and they said, oh, my God. And so they cast him. He did no live action acting scenes. What they did is they took pictures of him wearing clothes from the 60s, and the movie took place in the 80s and the star was 25 years old. So they took the pictures, 50s and 60s of him, like on playgrounds and other kids. So he was in the movie, like

[Melissa]

in the house with the.

[Bert]

He was the child version of that. But like, it was for a montage at the beginning where they were looking through photo albums.

[Wendy]

Very cool. That'd be great.

[Jeff]

As long as Daddy gets paid, I don't care what his role is.

[Bert]

What do you mean, Daddy? It's Hayden's working.

[Melissa]

What are you talking about?

[Jeff]

You know how much money I've invested into that kid already? It's payback time. Seven Years old.

[Bert]

Hey Hayden, if you're listening, the state that your father's in now, you could get whatever you want. If I were you, I would actually go to the bank as him today. So Melissa and Jen both are going through their, they have their separate struggles. Yeah, well, I had mentioned that making life changes, trying.

[Melissa]

I mentioned a couple weeks ago how, you know, it's been a slow progression. But Katie and I saw the movie Food Inc. Last year and it's a movie about the food industry and how, you know, they kind of manipulate live animals in order to get more produce in the stores. And so it's just kind of gross. And so we, to have more product, to have more meat on the animals and that kind of thing. So it's, it's definitely worth saying. I mean, of course some may think it's just a propaganda film, you know, by the, you know, left wing liberals and you know, so if we, but it's worth saying just to make your own judgment. But so Katie and I thought, well, you know, it's probably worth just. We don't have a lot of vegetables in our meals because we tend to always tend to be very heavy meat and not as much vegetables and fruits like you're supposed to. So over the course you Southern girls,

[Bert]

you're both Southern girls, right?

[Commercial Announcer]

Southern girls.

[Bert]

Meat and potatoes.

[Melissa]

Yes. Right. And so, so we slowly over time kept talking about, well, maybe we should try to be vegetarians. Maybe we should try to be vegetarians. And it was harder for her to think of the concept than me. And then we decided about a month or so that's like a meal.

[Wendy]

Like there's no such thing as a meal if the meat's not meat.

[Melissa]

Exactly. And I mean it is especially. Yes. If you're a typical southern food junkie, then that is just, it's just very hard transition. And so Katie and I about a month or so ago decided that we were going to do it, we're going to pull the trigger on it. And you know, it's, and it's, what has happened is pretty much what I thought would happen is the food preparation part, you know, like forbecause Katie usually cooks dinner. And then I said my end of the bargain would be like with the raw vegetables and everything and the fruits that I would take care of those and I would chop those up and I would have those, you know, in the fridge for us to eat for lunch or whatever.

[Bert]

So you'll bring home the big bag of fruit and then make a little fruit salad container for everyday.

[Melissa]

Do all the vegetables and chop all the vegetables, and that way you can make your salads or whatever. And. And so we were good about it. We were successful with it the first week. You know what I mean?

[Wendy]

That's good.

[Melissa]

But it's.

[Wendy]

Did you miss the meet that week?

[Jeff]

Frankly, I'm a little surprised it's taken this long. I applaud you for going four minutes into this conversation.

[Bert]

Marissa has been missing the meet for 40 years.

[Caller/Guest]

Jay.

[Melissa]

I am having an adult conversation with Jen and Wendy right now. Jeffrey. Okay.

[Jeff]

Way to show some restraint, Jeff. I was actually timing it. We started the break at 9:16 and it took you to 9:20.

[Melissa]

Not so. No, honestly, not so much if you are not hungry. I mean, the thing is, if you have a balanced meal and you're eating your food, then if there are portions that you're used to eating that you don't have on your plate anymore, then you don't tend to miss it. Jeff. Anyway, so if you've never had the

[Jeff]

meat, then you don't miss me is what she's saying.

[Wendy]

But I really like meat, so I think I would miss it.

[Jeff]

I would definitely not recommend this for you.

[Bert]

You guys have no idea how hard it is for me not to say that's what she said 92 times in this whole conversation.

[Melissa]

But I will say that something that I found. I'm just gonna move on. Something that I found frustrating when I was on dialysis and had food restrictions is the same as now, is that if you were trying to eat healthy, it is very difficult to find a place where you can get fast food healthy. You know what I mean? So, like, if you don't have your food prepared at home and then you're on your way home and you're starving, then you're going to end up going into a place that we have bad food rather than good food.

[Jeff]

What's the name of that place now? Prado Shopping Center. That's supposed to be like, really healthy fast food.

[Bert]

Oh, there's Evos. Yeah, Evos.

[Melissa]

And where's that?

[Wendy]

Healthy fast food.

[Bert]

But they still have. What they do is they have like burgers and fries, but instead of, like cooking the burger on a grill with the grease, like it's an air. Air bake it or air fry it, I think it's called. The French fries are the same thing. It's acceptable.

[Jeff]

Are you guys going, like, convenient vegetarian? Are you going full on? No fish, no meat, no chicken, no nothing?

[Melissa]

No, we were doing full on vegetarian. And even with the consideration of vegan with the dairy thing, which is very difficult. I mean, it just because I know people that are.

[Wendy]

They call themselves pescatarians, which means they eat fish.

[Melissa]

Yeah, there's different levels. You know, I, and I was curious, I was curious on a, like, on a scientific level because I go to Piedmont Hospital, get my labs done like every month. Right. So I thought, well, if I do this and I go hardcore, I can see the results.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Immediately. Because I go get my lab work done all the time. So. But yeah, I have to say that with the past week with my birthday and family in town and everybody going to restaurants, everybody, I. I've fallen off the vegetarian bandwagon.

[Wendy]

And what did you fall off with first? Red meat. Chicken or fish?

[Melissa]

I think it was fish.

[Wendy]

Fish.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jen]

That's not bad.

[Melissa]

I'll tell you why I'm not so.

[Wendy]

And then you went to the tweener drug. Chicken.

[Melissa]

Then I went to the twin.

[Wendy]

Then you went full blown red meat, full on meat, a damn steak.

[Jeff]

Gateway drug.

[Melissa]

Yeah. And then the big old chocolate cake and this cake and that cake, you know, or whatever. So, yeah, I've not been eating very well the past week.

[Jeff]

If you could show me like a vegan that looked like a 20 something year old version or a 30 year old version of Taylor Lautner, then I would be interested in it. But every vegan you ever meet looks

[Melissa]

like, yeah, they just walked out of

[Jeff]

a concentration camp or something like that. They never look healthy.

[Wendy]

Well, and I think a lot of times vegetarians end up eating junk food because it's not meat, but, you know, it's still not, you know.

[Melissa]

See, that's my thing is I don't.

[Wendy]

Yeah, that's the thing is like there's more junk food options than you would imagine. If you're vegetarian and you're starving, that's what you go for and that's what's quick.

[Melissa]

And a lot of vegetarians say, oh, well, pasta. I'm gonna do the pasta thing. I'm gonna eat pasta and rice all the time.

[Wendy]

You know, blow up like a balloon.

[Melissa]

Exactly. So we're trying to take it like seriously to where it's, you know, try to eat as naturally as possible and what you're meant to eat and not just. And we're not doing it just because, oh, this is no meat. So we're gonna eat this. You know, we're trying to actually incorporate more fruits and vegetables in our diet and then, you know, giving ourselves leeway.

[Wendy]

I commend you for trying it.

[Melissa]

That's tough, but it is you have to prepare. And I've gotten a lot of emails and a lot of Facebook messages from people talking about, you know, about this issue. But it is. I am a lazy cook. I don't cook. And so it is very difficult. If I don't spend a Sunday doing nothing but chopping vegetable, then I'm gonna. I can't do it, you know.

[Bert]

Hey, Dr. Michael. Welcome to the Birch Show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. Thank you.

[Bert]

You're welcome.

[Melissa]

Hi.

[Caller/Guest]

How are you? Good.

[Commercial Announcer]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Doing good. Just taking my daughter to preschool and headed in and heard your show and came to realize that one of the things that everybody seems to miss out on is the fact that having a wellness clinic up in Woodstock, we found that the blood type has an enormous. Plays an enormous factor in what's going on with a person's diet.

[Melissa]

Huh.

[Jeff]

Wasn't there about this a couple of years ago? Was like a diet, as a diet that fits every blood type. Like, if you're O positive, then there are certain foods you're supposed to eat. Etc, Etc. Etc.

[Melissa]

Right. I've never heard of.

[Caller/Guest]

That is correct. And what we found is, like, for instance, if you're an O positive, there's a really good chance that if you eat breads and pastas, you're gonna end up with a migraine.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jen]

Really? I didn't know.

[Caller/Guest]

Vegetarians and vegans do really, really well if they have an A blood type. But if you're an O positive, you're going to look like you just came out of a concentration camp.

[Melissa]

Really. So it does make a difference.

[Caller/Guest]

It's really quite fascinating. But the book is called Eat right for your type. And we do it with all of our patients because we deal with a lot of serious health conditions and it's amazing what will happen when you simply change diet, you know? Well, grilled chicken is good for everybody. Oh, not necessarily.

[Jeff]

Yeah. People swear by this book. People that have been on this book and it's. It's been effective for. Swear by this book.

[Melissa]

Tell me one more time.

[Wendy]

I'm gonna Google it.

[Melissa]

Eat.

[Bert]

Eat right for your type, he said.

[Melissa]

And again, the meat thing is just. I mean, like I said, I mean, it's just the way that it's processed. It's just the way that. You know, it's not that I'm gonna join. It's not that I'm gonna join PETA and I'm going to. And it's. That is for animal rights, even though, I mean, it's a part of that, but it is just if you are a big company and you want more people to buy your product, then you need more of the product. And it's easy if you're making a widget, but if you have a chicken farm, then how are you going to get more chicken meat to your customers while you manipulate the chicken? And that's what I don't trust.

[Wendy]

Well, and as a consumer, I try to buy and eat organic a lot, but it's so much more expensive to do. So. Like, I was literally just in the grocery store like two nights ago pulling out chicken and they had like a sale on like regular, you know, a whole regular chicken was like maybe $2.50 a pound. So that's pretty affordable. When I went to go get the organic one, like it was more like $6 a pound.

[Melissa]

And the reason is because I paid

[Wendy]

$12 to get the organic chicken versus

[Bert]

I would have paid but the organic

[Wendy]

chicken or five bucks to get. And both of them were whole chickens. But.

[Bert]

But the organic chicken lived in a penthouse at the Four Seasons in Wisconsin.

[Melissa]

The organic chicken is sitting there with maybe a dozen other chickens where you're looking at, I mean, a. A nasty environment for the one you get $2 for.

[Wendy]

I know, so I paid the money for it. But still, a lot of people can't afford to go that route.

[Melissa]

You know, just watch Food Inc. And then see what you know. Because there's even the issue with beef and corn fed and grass fed. Just saying. I mean, it's just, it will change the way you think about food.

[Bert]

Bert, we're not going to get to the call, but Jessica has been a vegetarian for 14 years. She's 24 years old and she does not look too skinny.

[Jeff]

Well, I'm creepy if I ask her to send a picture.

[Melissa]

So will you ask her is she vegetarian or vegan?

[Bert]

Hey, Jessica, are you vegetarian or vegan?

[Jessica]

Actually, I'm lactose intolerant and I just had a 10 pound baby and I do weigh 95 pounds, but I'm only 5 foot.

[Jeff]

And you think you look healthy?

[Jessica]

I think I look healthy. If you want, I can send you a picture.

[Jeff]

Send it to Jeff and he'll forward it to me.

[Caller/Guest]

Awesome.

[Bert]

You want her wearing anything in particular? Bird. Or wearing a wig or holding anything special?

[Jeff]

You write whatever you want.

[Bert]

Hey, Jessica, thank you for calling.

[Jessica]

Thank you.

[Bert]

Hey, we've got an update coming up in just a couple minutes from Frankie. The townhouse situation is this close to being over. Frankie spoke to the owner of the house. She thinks she knows why there is a guy creeping around behind there. She doesn't know the guy really, but she was gonna look into it for Frankie.

[Commercial Announcer]

This close.

[Bert]

He's got the update. Next bird show Q100 the bird show Q100 get it?

[Show Announcer]

The bird Show.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Bert]

Refreshers contain caffeine. Get it the Bird show has an annual event where they bring in between 2 and 3,000 bridal gowns and they put them on the racks in no order.

[Melissa]

No order. They don't have time to put them in order.

[Bert]

Yeah, they just. I mean, they came off the truck last night, they put them up on the racks, there they sit, and the brides start lining up. I got. I think we'll have Tracy see if she can track this guy down, but apparently there's a guy in line yesterday, 8:30am holding a grooming for his bride.

[Melissa]

Come on now. He gets points on that one. That is a good man.

[Jen]

That's commitment.

[Bert]

That's right. So, ladies, if you want a good man, there's one down here for you.

[Jen]

But he's taken.

[Melissa]

But he's a groom, so are you. Like, he's not. Not married yet? Is that your.

[Jen]

So engaged, Jeffrey.

[Bert]

So we. We have. This is an annual tradition, and within this, we have annual traditions, and we have, you know, contests to get people in there early. Because when. When there are 1500 people in line all fighting for the same dresses, it gets chaotic.

[Wendy]

Right?

[Bert]

So if you've got an hour or 90 minutes to yourself, it's a big deal.

[Melissa]

It's a big deal because like we said, they shipped these dresses in last night. They don't have time to put them in order. So this way you actually get to peruse without any competition and get to find the perfect gown, and you get

[Wendy]

to find the size that you want and the style that you want, the color that you want, because you've got some more time without everybody else grabbing them. So this is big time competition right here.

[Bert]

This is a contest that we came up with called the Soon To Be Newlywed Game.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Bert]

And it's basically finding out who knows their significant other better out of two couples.

[Melissa]

Right?

[Bert]

Tracy, you gave me every detail I need, except for the couple's names.

[Jen]

Oh, gosh, I forget to. Let's see.

[Wendy]

Paul.

[Jen]

Is that right? Is there an Emma here?

[Melissa]

Paul and Emma.

[Bert]

Okay, perfect.

[Jen]

And Jordan and Alyssa.

[Wendy]

When are you guys getting married?

[Bert]

February 26th.

[Commercial Announcer]

August 22nd.

[Wendy]

Congratulations.

[Caller/Guest]

All right.

[Melissa]

Congratulations.

[Wendy]

The guys look scared to death.

[Bert]

Well, this isn't gonna hurt.

[Wendy]

Look excited. The guys look frightened.

[Bert]

Yeah, the painful part, you're already participating in being here and helping pick out a wedding gown. You guys shouldn't even. That's against the law. That shouldn't even be in the realm of existence. But you're here. That's the painful part. So this is going to be easy. This is questions about. You've already been emasculated this is just talking.

[Wendy]

Leave him alone. Let's play.

[Bert]

Yeah, this is just talking about.

[Melissa]

Don't try to make yourself look more

[Bert]

like a man, the woman you love. Okay, so we'll just go down the list, and who answers. Who's going to answer the question, Tracy? The men or the women?

[Jen]

The men are going to answer the questions. The brides have already given me their answers, so whoever gets the most questions. Right.

[Bert]

All right, we will go down the list. We will start with Jordan. How many bridesmaids, including the maid of honor, does Alyssa have? Four and a half. Same question to Paul.

[Commercial Announcer]

5.

[Bert]

Alyssa, what's your answer?

[Jen]

Four.

[Bert]

Emma, what's your answer?

[Caller/Guest]

Five. Okay,

[Wendy]

they're paying attention.

[Bert]

One to one.

[Wendy]

They're half listening.

[Bert]

Alyssa, who is our bride planning on having as. Or. I'm sorry, Jordan. Who is Alyssa planning on having as her maid of honor? Heather. And same question to Paul. Katie. Alyssa, was Paul. Jordan Wright.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yes.

[Bert]

Emma, was Paul Wright.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Melissa]

All right, tied still 2 to 2. Their men know their women so far.

[Bert]

Jordan, what is the main color of the dress that your bride wants her bridesmaids to wear?

[Show Announcer]

Black. Pink.

[Bert]

Alyssa, is it black?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Bert]

Emma is a pink.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Bert]

Oh, we got a battle. Okay, Jordan, how many people are or will be on your guest list?

[Jeff]

100.

[Bert]

And same question to Paul. How many people are or will be on your guest list?

[Commercial Announcer]

120.

[Bert]

Alyssa.

[Wendy]

Okay, that's correct.

[Bert]

And Emma?

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh.

[Wendy]

What's the real number? Emma, what's the real number? I just put 100 for the average.

[Bert]

Well, it's 99 now because Pauline allowed. Jordan, what is your projected wedding budget?

[Caller/Guest]

10,000.

[Bert]

And, Paul, what is your projected wedding budget?

[Caller/Guest]

10,000.

[Bert]

Alyssa, is Jordan right?

[Jen]

Yes.

[Bert]

Emma, is Paul right?

[Wendy]

No.

[Jen]

No. What is it, Emma?

[Bert]

Emma, is Paul still getting married to you?

[Wendy]

I hope so, but I'm not sure.

[Bert]

Was he close?

[Wendy]

Kind of.

[Bert]

What was. What's the number?

[Commercial Announcer]

You don't.

[Wendy]

5,000 more. Okay.

[Bert]

Okay, so 5,000. But don't tell anyone.

[Melissa]

Right. So that means Jordan is leading Paul. Jordan, Alyssa, are leading Paul and Emma by two.

[Wendy]

By two. All right, Come on. Time to make it up here.

[Bert]

Paul, Jordan, what size wedding dress is your bride? I don't even want to ask that one. See, you ask it.

[Jen]

What.

[Melissa]

What.

[Bert]

What size wedding dress?

[Wendy]

They already answered it. 2 and 10.

[Caller/Guest]

Or.

[Bert]

That's correct. And, Emma.

[Wendy]

Okay.

[Melissa]

All right.

[Bert]

What song does your bride want to dance to at your wedding? Jordan?

[Jeff]

I didn't have an answer.

[Commercial Announcer]

I don't know.

[Bert]

Paul, I say at last. Alyssa, what song are you dancing To. I have no idea. But I said, you look beautiful tonight. And Emma, no, I hope you dance.

[Wendy]

They both got that wrong. Both wrong.

[Bert]

How much? And so still five.

[Melissa]

Wait, is it still five to three?

[Bert]

And there's only really mad. There's only really two questions left. Which means if Jordan and Alyssa get this right, then it's over. Jordan, how much did your engagement ring cost? Twelve hundred dollars. Alyssa, how much did you say the engagement. Engagement ring cost?

[Jen]

2,000.

[Bert]

Oh, you still in it?

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Bert]

Paul, how much did your engagement ring cost?

[Commercial Announcer]

I said 35.

[Bert]

Emma, what did you say?

[Wendy]

I said 2,000.

[Bert]

Oh, we've got a winner.

[Commercial Announcer]

Emma.

[Bert]

We're sorry, Paul.

[Commercial Announcer]

Good luck.

[Bert]

You can't see this. This is what. We got it. We're taping it, though. With every wrong answer, Emma got more and more effort.

[Jessica]

I know.

[Melissa]

And it was like, okay, we're having a conversation after this is over with.

[Wendy]

So the winners are. Jordan and Alyssa.

[Bert]

Alyssa and Alyssa.

[Wendy]

So who can Alyssa bring in with her?

[Bert]

Who says Alyssa's going in?

[Wendy]

Oh. Oh.

[Bert]

Nothing simple on the bird show. 14 people.

[Caller/Guest]

Come on.

[Bert]

We have to go in. There's only one. There's only one that's important. Have you ever listened to the running of the Brides before? Yes, every year. Okay, when we come back, we will give Alyssa 60 seconds to describe her dream wedding gown to Jordan, and he will be doing the shopping for her.

[Wendy]

Nice.

[Melissa]

Yes. See how good a listener he is?

[Bert]

Jordan at the beginning is like, yeah, I got this, man. I got you, baby. Now he's like, oh, crap.

[Show Announcer]

You're on the Burt Show.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Bert]

Refreshers contain caffeine.