Full Show PT 3: Thursday, July 23 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3: Thursday, July 23 [Vault]

Air Date: July 23, 2026
Hosts/Cast: Bert, Jen Hobby, Wendy, Bird, Larry, and others
Summary by [Podcast Summarizer]

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Episode Overview

This lively, candid, and consistently humorous episode of The Bert Show features the cast riffing on everything from fantasy vending machines packed with beloved fast food, to awkward parental dilemmas about teenage sexuality, to the ongoing calorie wars at chain restaurants, and finally, to real-life misadventures in barroom flirtation. The tone is playful and authentic, with plenty of laughter, self-deprecating humor, and a few disarmingly honest listener calls. Listeners will appreciate the friendly banter, insights into body image, and reminders to look before you leap—especially when sending drinks across the bar.

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1. Fantasy Vending Machines & Craving Mashups

Starts: [01:02]

Key Points:

• Wendy launches into a funny and creative brainstorm about the ultimate dream vending machine, inspired by her hunger and the dismal selection in their office vending machine.
• The cast debates what foods they’d add—from mozzarella sticks and fried pickles to KFC mashed potato bowls, Arby’s chicken bacon Swiss, stuffed crust Pizza Hut pizza, and more.
• The segment turns into a broader discussion about combining the best items from all fast food restaurants, jokingly inventing “The Fast Food Plaza.”

Notable Moments & Quotes:

• Wendy: “I started making my dream vending machine list. None of this really goes together at all… it’s just what I wanted for the day.” [01:41]
• Bird: "What you’re inventing right now is a TGI Fridays." [03:59]
• Host (Jen Hobby?): “This is the biggest vending machine in the history of mainframe computers.” [03:51]
• Burt: “Would you stop? Stop limiting imagination… Color outside the lines every once in a while.” [04:27, 04:36]

Listener Insight:

• Caller suggests you can tailor vending machines to specific user requests, citing experience with a boyfriend’s vending machine business. [05:59]

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2. Experiences at a Jimmy Buffett Concert

Starts: [08:23]

Key Points:

• Jen (or possibly Burt) recounts attending a cold, crowded Jimmy Buffet concert to please her boyfriend, reflecting on the parrot head culture and elaborate tailgating.
• The conversation covers the evolution of relationships—how “adorable” gestures might eventually become “annoying" over time.

Notable Moments & Quotes:

• Host: “Enjoy it now. This is the Bert Show.” [12:02]
• Bird: “Chili fins to the left, chili fins to the right. They’re so cute.” [11:08]
• Host: “I'd like to fast forward this conversation four years... and you'll be like, honey, I think I'm just gonna pass on this one.” [09:16]

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3. Parental Dilemma: Walking In On a Teen with Mom’s Underwear

Warning: Mature Topic; Listener Discretion Advised
Starts: [13:46]

Key Points:

• A listener email sparks a frank discussion: a mom wonders if she handled it well when she accidentally walked in on her 14-year-old son “hooking himself up” with her panties and simply shut the door.
• The hosts and callers weigh in on how parents should react, debate “is it about the item or the mom?” and reminisce (awkwardly) about adolescent experimentation.
• Callers share their own stories and opinions—ranging from “don’t freak out, it’s normal” to “maybe dad should have The Talk.”
• Cast negotiates the importance of not shaming kids; several men admit to similar behaviors in their youth, emphasizing it was about the “item” not the “person.”

Notable Moments & Quotes:

• Bird (joking): “The first thing you do is you get over to Sears.com and order yourself some new panties.” [14:50]
• Bird: “For most people, that would be a total turnoff.” [15:39]
• Larry (caller): “It's about the items. It's not about mom. Okay. If it's about mom, there's other issues.” [20:29]
• Connie (caller, mom of four boys): “There's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation… the fact that he had women's panties, you might want to ask him, but I really don’t think it’s anything unusual.” [21:13]
• Ruth (caller): “Mom walks in, he's doing what he's doing, shuts the door, and at some point...says, hey, that's cool. I'm not comfortable with you using my panties.” [21:47]
• Jen: “You don’t want to make him feel weird about it.” [17:20]

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4. Fast Food Calorie Wars, Guilt & Body Image

Starts: [24:06]

Key Points:

• Segment begins with banter about ridiculously unhealthy new fast food creations (KFC Double Down, IHOP pancake stackers), with a nod to calorie transparency laws.
• Cast debates whether posted calorie counts actually influence choices differently for men and women.
• Anecdotes about hiding fast food wrappers, making “healthy” swaps like removing the top bun, and the illusion that salads are always a healthier choice.
• Important conversation around the mental burden of calorie counting and body image, and the misconceptions between “thin” and “thick” women about who worries about food and judgment.

Notable Moments & Quotes:

• Host: “If you're going to Mickey D’s, you go to get your Big Mac on, man.” [24:31]
• Bird: “Women count calories all the time. I mean, that’s not the first time I’ve looked at a calorie count that day.” [29:08]
• Jen: “I wish there was a way for me to be able to eat one meal stress free… impossible the rest of my life.” [35:00]
• Listener (Amber): “I was amazed that the three women in your studio, as thin as they are, are that self conscious about what they eat.” [33:35]
• Jen: “…We’re far more self conscious about that morph suit bet than you guys are.” [34:38]

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5. Barroom Etiquette: “Think Before You Send a Drink”

Starts: [37:22]

Key Points:

• Wendy humorously recounts sending a drink to an attractive stranger at a bar, only to discover on closer inspection he’s short, hairy, and not her type.
• The crew discusses the pros/cons and etiquette of sending drinks, including using a wingman for recon.
• Wendy’s new motto: “Think before you send a drink.”

Notable Moments & Quotes:

• Wendy: “This is later on in the night, probably around 12:30, 1 o’clock… I’m gonna send him a drink… Wham, bam, we’re instant, like, text messaging.” [37:36]
• Host: “It’s like a magnet. Like a junk magnet.” [38:27]
• Wendy: “He comes closer… hair coming out of his chest, out of his tshirt, out of his back. I’m like, oh, this is definitely not my type of guy.” [39:29]
• Wendy: “What I should have done was taken my friend’s advice and had my friend go check out the guy before I bought him a drink.” [39:58]
• Wendy: “Think before you send a drink. Think before you send the drink. And spend 20 bucks on two shots.” [41:29]

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6. Ongoing Themes: Authenticity, Humor, and Relatable Struggles

• The show is filled with laughter, relatable insecurities, personal admissions, and collective commiseration—particularly over food guilt, dating mishaps, and parental awkwardness.

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Section Timestamps Overview

• [01:02] Dream vending machines
• [08:23] Jimmy Buffett concert & relationship bits
• [13:46] Parental dilemma: teen son and mom's underwear
• [24:06] Fast food calorie debates & body image pressures
• [37:22] “Think before you send a drink” story

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Final Thoughts

This episode perfectly encapsulates The Bert Show’s trademark mix of humor, honesty, and social commentary. From food obsessions to parenting stumbles to the hazards of lust (and love) at first sight, the cast offers a self-aware, entertaining window into the trials and tribulations of modern adult life.
As Wendy reminds us:
“Think before you send a drink.” [41:29]
Or, as the team might say, also think before you judge (yourself or others)—whether it’s about food, parenting, or potential romance.

Transcript

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[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

The Virt Show I will give credit to Wendy. She has changed the way I've been looking at the vending machine the last couple of days.

[Wendy]

I think I was just really hungry one afternoon and all we have in here is a vending machine. When I get in here at 4 o', clock, I mean there's nothing really good in the vending machine. There's like potato chips and crackers and there's a couple pop tarts.

[Bird]

Woohoo.

[Wendy]

Can eat those up.

[Jen]

Popcorn and random stuff. Like I wish I could think like one or two random like like pork rinds or something, you know, crazy.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Like almost like they had to fill the space and they just are like they just grab something like pork rinds, something crappy.

[Bird]

Yeah, look at that. Sometimes I go who? I would like to stand there and see who orders that.

[Wendy]

Nobody. That's why it's still there. No, I think I was just starving and I wanted some like real substance of food. But I was stuck with this vending machine food that I couldn't choose from. So I came in here literally and Johnny O. Is in here with me in the afternoon and I started making my dream vending machine list.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay, so these are all of the greatest items in the vending machine.

[Wendy]

There's no rhyme or reason for making this list. I was just sitting here starving on what possibly could I go out and get at any fast food place or just at the grocery store in general.

[Burt]

So it's your hall of fame really? Kind of.

[Wendy]

But I think this is just what I wanted for the day. So this is what I would have in my vending machine of options to choose from.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

So you're pulling from everywhere. You're pulling from fast food restaurants also. So, like, a Mickey D's. Fries would be on the top of the vending machine.

[Wendy]

None of this really goes together at all. Like, okay, for example, I have mozzarella sticks. Like, I just wanted.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

How can you have mozzarella sticks in a vending machine?

[Larry]

Don't question it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

My bad, my bad, my bad.

[Bird]

You know, in Japan, they have all sorts of crazy vending machines where you can get, like, anything you want.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay.

[Wendy]

Vending machine. This will never happen. Trust me. We'll never have this.

[Jen]

Wendy, don't stop her dream.

[Bird]

Yeah. Remain optimistic. Don't squash this before it exists.

[Jen]

Don't let burger.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I'm right there with you. With mozzarella sticks.

[Bird]

So a one mozzarella stick.

[Wendy]

Just hungry.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Is there a specific place? Because there are some. I'm a mo. Mozzarella stick fan. And sometimes they just give you, like, the fried dough and they give you little itty bitty cheese. If you're gonna give me a mozzarella stick, you better load it up.

[Jen]

And it's gotta, like, cheese, you know,

[Burt]

drag from your mouth when you take a bite. Yes.

[Wendy]

I mean, I would say Landmark Diner, but that's after you're drunk. But those things are good. They make. They know how to make a good mozzarella sticks. I won't lie. So mozzarella sticks in general, they gotta be the oozy kind like Jen said. And then I went to fried pickles because, again, I was just hungry.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

You were high as a cat.

[Lady Luck]

I know.

[Burt]

Fried pickles are the.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

There was a Zagsby's commercial on at the time, and I was like, I could put some fried pickles in this vending machine. That sounds good. And then I went to guacamole something.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Guacamole. You can order guacamole in a vending machine.

[Bird]

Just comes down like a handful.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Dream vending machine.

[Burt]

Vending machine.

[Bird]

Does that come with the chips, or do you need more coins for the chips?

[Wendy]

You have to have more coins for the chips.

[Lady Luck]

Yes.

[Jen]

This vending machine will keep everything fresh and good.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

This is the biggest vending machine in the history of mainframe computers.

[Burt]

This is like the Jetsons. Just so you know, vending machines, what

[Bird]

you're inventing right now is a TGI Fridays.

[Burt]

Well, maybe they need to listen closely and create a vending machine.

[Bird]

Happy, happy, happy Birthday, birthday, birthday. It's TGI Friday, where I'm sitting in your booth.

[Wendy]

You have to push CE for that one, Right? That's a different number for somebody to pop out. Then I had grilled cheese, and then.

[Bird]

That's good.

[Wendy]

A cooked stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

How is it gonna come out of the vending, Burt, how are you gonna get it?

[Burt]

Would you stop? Stop limiting imagination.

[Wendy]

This is.

[Jen]

What is wrong with you. Limitations. You're all about limitations.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

How you gonna get a whole piece out of vending machine?

[Burt]

Color outside the lines every once in a while.

[Jen]

What's wrong with you?

[Burt]

Gosh, do you do your children?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

The box is gonna get stuck between the window and the little curly thing.

[Wendy]

What's wrong with you?

[Jen]

You know what?

[Wendy]

Let my vending machine get better, because then I saw an Arby's commercial, and I put chicken bacon Swiss in there.

[Jen]

What about the curly fries, though?

[Wendy]

Those were coming.

[Bird]

Those were.

[Jen]

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to jump ahead.

[Wendy]

That's down.

[Bird]

You know, Bert's gonna get stoned and call you. Hey, Wendy, where's that vending machine? Seriously?

[Jen]

Those are the double letters.

[Wendy]

So good. And then I have one of those mashed potato bowls from kfc.

[Bird]

Nice. With the gravy. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

You know what this is? This isn't a vending machine. This is the concept that you and I came up with years and years ago.

[Bird]

The Fast Food Plaza.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It's a fast food place where you can order the best items off of each menu. So, like, if you dig McDonald's fries, there they are. You just take those. But you like a Burger King Diet Coke. Whatever. You can order an item. Curly fries, RVs, curly fries. All on the same menu.

[Jen]

Yeah, we need to put a Burger

[Wendy]

King Diet Coke in there, because that would be on my dream drink machine. Because there's a difference between McDonald's Diet Coke and Burger King Diet Coke.

[Jen]

And then the Chick Fil A shakes.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Oh, and the Chick Fil A waffle fries, too.

[Caller]

Man. So good.

[Burt]

Those are the best.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Here.

[Caller]

Shirley.

[Bird]

Shirley.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Bird]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

What's going on?

[Caller]

Oh, not a lot. Good morning.

[Jen]

Good morning.

[Caller]

I just wanted to let you know that you can get with your vending machine guy and or female, and you can have your vending machine tailored to what you guys want.

[Bird]

Oh, really? Mashed potatoes, you think?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Burt]

Mozzarella sticks.

[Caller]

I dated a guy that had a vending machine service, and we did that for a few of our customers.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

So at one point, then they come in there and they have, like, A catalog of items, and you can check off which ones you want for your own machine.

[Caller]

Yeah, you should be able to.

[Jen]

Yeah, but I doubt if you want

[Caller]

healthier snacks in there. You should be able to get them.

[Jen]

But I doubt a Dairy Queen Blizzard is going to fit in.

[Apollo Sponsor Announcer]

Okay.

[Caller]

Because that would be French fries.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, you could put that right next to the pizza.

[Caller]

But you should be able to get with your vending machine service and. And tailor the.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Is this a Joyce thing then? Is she the one that, like, wasted a space on, like, trail mix?

[Bird]

I don't think she even. I don't think most people even look at it. I think.

[Jen]

No, it's just the morning shows that

[Caller]

eat out of the vending machine.

[Burt]

Hey, Wendy, can your dream vending machine change over from breakfast to lunch?

[Wendy]

Oh, we should do that. Because I was just at the vending machine, and all I wanted was, like, a bacon, egg, and cheese McMuffin. And that's not in there

[Larry]

to go.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Look.

[Burt]

Can you serve them past 11?

[Wendy]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[Burt]

You could have time there. I really think the changeover should be at noon. And I don't know why most of them do it so early.

[Bird]

Some of them do it at 10:30.

[Burt]

10:30? I mean, really?

[Wendy]

Vending machines.

[Bird]

And then you gotta ask them, what breakfast stuff do you have left? And they're like, we've got two burritos. We got an egg McMuffin with a bite out of it and have a hash brown that was on the floor. But just for a second, I'm like, give me all.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, I'll take it all. And they get really hardcore about it, too. Like, right at 10:30, man. That's it. It's all right, Jamie, go ahead. I got about 30 seconds. What's going on?

[Caller]

Hi, I was just calling to say I was listening. And there is a store. I don't know the name of it, but in New York, there is a restaurant where there's a kitchen inside in the back, and you can actually put money in. And you can see all of the different items. Cheeseburgers and fries, steak sandwiches, everything.

[Bird]

That's called McDonald's.

[Caller]

It's a real restaurant.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

And you need. Wendy, that's yours.

[Wendy]

I know we need it in this building.

[Bird]

Wendy just invented the concept of dining out. People are calling, oh, my God, that's so great. And somebody comes to your table, and you give them money, and then they bring you what you order. Holy crap, I'm gonna invent that.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Listen, it's the vert show. Jen Hobby went to Jimmy Buffett.

[Bird]

Last night?

[Burt]

Yes. And it was. It was fun. It was just cold. So I'm not a huge parrothead, and other than when I worked at Lakewood about 10 years ago, I haven't seen a show, but my boyfriend is a big fan, so he got tickets. And we went with another friend last night, and it was packed. I mean, everybody that was there, everybody that had been partying in the parking

[Bird]

lot all day was still tailgate and

[Burt]

everything, having a bl. And they were wearing their grass skirts and their lays and whatever and had a really good time. I was freezing, to be quite honest. And I wasn't really feeling great yesterday, so I probably wasn't in the greatest of mindset to go try to be a parrot head last night, but still, it was a good time. And Zach Brown was there.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Oh, cool.

[Burt]

Oh, that's neat. So, yeah, I got to see him sit in with Jimmy Buffett on a song and that kind of thing, but it was good.

[Larry]

Right on.

[Burt]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I'd like to fast forward this conversation four years. That's all I'm saying. Four years. You guys are nice and settled in with each other, and you love each other. And he suggests going to see Jimmy Buffett on a really cold night when you're not feeling good, and you'll be like, honey, I think I'm just gonna pass on this one, but for right now isn't great.

[Wendy]

No, no, no.

[Jen]

It'll be the opposite. Because the one time I've seen Jimmy Buffett here in Atlanta. Okay, this is what Jen's gonna turn into. There was a guy who we went with, one of my high school friends came down for it, and he took me. And there was another friend of his that was there, and this other friend is a hu.

[Wendy]

Right.

[Jen]

So this guy is one that travels across the country to go see Jimmy Buffett at all. So now, you didn't get to do the tailgating in the parking lot all day. I mean, people create pools, and they do. I mean, it is pretty elaborate. I've never. It is nothing like anything you've ever seen, right? Well, this guy. So we're at our tailgating spot, and there's this huge fake palm tree. Okay? So as we're talking to this guy, and I'm saying that Jim will turn into this guy.

[Apollo Sponsor Announcer]

Okay?

[Jen]

So this guy it is. I noticed that there's little. You know, it's a. What do you call it? Collapsible palm tree. So it means that it collapses into about, you know, three parts that kind of fold in on each other and has a case. Okay, so this guy.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

That's a pro right there.

[Jen]

This was his. This was his one. Carry on. On the airline, everywhere. He went to see a Buffett show. So I'm just saying, you're gonna start having beach paraphernalia at a Jimmy Buffett show?

[Bird]

I say, honey, I'm ready.

[Jen]

I've got it. I've got the palm tree packed and the sand and the kiddie poo baby and the Kurok.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

The Tommy Bahama shirts are lined up and ready to go.

[Burt]

I get it. I like Jimmy Buffett's songs. I really like them when I'm on vacation, actually sitting on the beach, not on the lawn at Lakewood, freezing to death. But I was trying to be a good girlfriend last night.

[Bird]

I think Burt's angle is better there. Cause it's what we were talking about the day, the weekend we went to the Masters. Everything's adorable right now. Oh, my God. It's a little chilly. And you want to go to Jimmy Buffin. Okay, Chili fins to the left, chili fins to the right. They're so cute.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

He's got such a passion for life. He'll stand out there when it's cold to see his favorite fan. He's awesome.

[Bird]

And then, you know what they're doing is they're cuddling, you know, and, like, he's got his arm around her. He's like, oh, you're a little chilly. Like, rubbing her shoulders. She's like, it's okay. And then fast forward 60 months. That's five years from now. Are you a little chilly? No, I'm not chilly. I'm effing cold. And you're rubbing me is just annoying me. Why are we here with all these drunk fools?

[Burt]

There was lots of parenthood. Still having fun despite the weather last night.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Now break down the inflatable palm tree and let's get out of here.

[Burt]

I think I leave the sand.

[Jen]

Leave the sand cold.

[Burt]

I'm gonna come up with some real illness.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Enjoy it now. This is the Bird Show.

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[Wendy]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

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[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

The Bird show all right, this is just for experienced moms and dads on this one and it's after 8:30 so we'll give the the kid warning that if you have kids listening you probably want to check out for a couple.

[Bird]

You can almost guarantee that you have not heard this problem before. Like this is gonna be a first timer, right?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, probably. I'm not even gonna say her name. Hey, my name is and I'm 40 years old and I have a son who's 14. I walked on, I walked in on him hooking himself up with my panties. Was it bad that I shut the door and let him finish?

[Bird]

I'm telling you right now, honey, he didn't finish

[Burt]

her underwear. His mom's underwear.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

What should I do? I mean I think it's better that he do that than get a girl pregnant or get an std. So please help. Thank you. So I don't think they've even talked about it yet. So yeah, she opens up the door, there he is and she just. Then she. I don't. It doesn't say if he was wearing them or not.

[Bird]

I'll tell you what, the first thing you do is you get over to Sears.com and order yourself some new panties.

[Jen]

Well, I'm just wondering mature wise, I'm wondering if he doesn't have any sister. He doesn't have any older sisters in the house and that's the only option he has.

[Bird]

But it's not the only option.

[Jen]

Where's he gonna get a pair of women's underwear?

[Bird]

Why are you gonna do it with a women's underwear?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I don't think it's necessarily about, I don't know. 404-741-Q100.

[Bird]

Hypothetically, experience.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

This is not like I've got a seven year old. I'm not experienced enough for this answer.

[Bird]

Hypothetically, a young man of that age who does that frequently could do it without the benefits of underwear in his hand or on him or around him.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

You're that old, you're that age. It's just what's ever handy.

[Burt]

Yeah, but like there's not something really twisted about that being his mother's.

[Bird]

Yes, it's gross.

[Burt]

For most people, that would be a total turn off.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I think when you're 14, it's a different mentality, to be honest with you. I don't think it's like.

[Jen]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking of. Is it just the fact that it's women's underwear?

[Bird]

Think about what you're saying. High school, that's your mom. That is your mom's underwear. Think of that. Think of peeling off your mom's underwear.

[Jen]

We got it, we got it, we got it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

But don't. I mean there is a part of you that can understand this part. Like at 14, it doesn't. It's just whatever's there. No, I gotta get this done.

[Bird]

Whatever's there. He had to go into his mom's dresser or closet.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Maybe the laundry's right there.

[Jen]

Laundry.

[Bird]

It's not the only thing in there. And if there is Kleenex, toilet paper, the bathroom rug, your cat. There are a lot of things that you could use to clean, assuming that's what it was for.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

So are we focusing on the item that he was doing that with? Are we talking about a more broad conversation of what do you do when you walk in on.

[Bird]

Yeah, I think it's too. I think there's 1 million people in this city who could call out and say they walked in on their kid doing that and tell us how they handled it. The fact he had mom panties. Good therapy.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Yeah. Jack Jackson.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

You think, Melissa, that's therapy issue.

[Jen]

I don't, I don't. I'm thinking it from the standpoint of he. It was just women's underwear. Because I. Because my thing is with something like that, I think you're in such a danger zone when someone is starting to experiment that way by telling them they need therapy. You know what I mean? I Just, I don't know, I just think it's more of a broad conversation. If you walk in on your kid doing that.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

404-741-QAnon There are not many people that want to get in on this.

[Larry]

What do you mean?

[Jen]

You don't want to make him feel weird about it?

[Bird]

I think you should tell all of his friends and let them talk to him about it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Hey, Marie. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hello. I don't think the mom should say anything to him. I think the dad though should tell him that he should lock the door and that's all normal. But the family property, such thing as is not normal. He shouldn't be using family props.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

So what do you, I mean, as a father, what's the conversation? Look, there's a, there, there are things that you, you can use and things you can't. And one on the can't use list is your mom's underwear.

[Caller]

Well, you take matters into your own

[Jen]

hands, so to speak.

[Bird]

That's what he did.

[Caller]

But my husband walked in on my son too, at that age. Although he was just with himself and Katie Couric on TV. To talk to him. But he didn't want to talk about it.

[Bird]

You got to show that kid FOX News man, Katie Couric is a waste of a thing.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I hope this was a long time ago.

[Bird]

Yeah, all right, that's funny.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Here is Larry. Larry.

[Larry]

Hey, how you doing? So I can't believe I've never called your show before except for this topic. Here's the thing. She. It's not about her, obviously. It's not about his mom. It's about the item. And so the way to do it is mom needs to go out and purchase some non mom items that sort of are just in like a little drawer, special drawer or bin or something. The kids are going to do it and the boys trust all boys do it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Right.

[Larry]

And it's about the items. And he obviously probably doesn't have sisters. I mean, you know, if you grow up with no sisters and there's a female item, guess who's it's going to be Mom. Guess what? You're fixated at that age. Female items go for it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

But I don't understand, I don't quite understand what you're. Yeah, I don't quite understand what your advice is. You saying go out and get different ones and he's got his own pile he can choose from.

[Larry]

Exactly.

[Wendy]

So stock them up with a drawer.

[Larry]

Yeah, here's your, here's your little. You know, here's your little stuff. You know, you don't have to make it massively obvious, but you can. Or you can. I mean, you know, you can.

[Bird]

Larry. Let me ask you a question, Larry.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Bird]

Because as a person who was once 14 and practically had to wear one of those bowling wrist things.

[Burt]

Oh, God.

[Bird]

I never once.

[Burt]

Too much information.

[Bird]

Had to invoke the use of someone's underwear.

[Larry]

But that's you. Everybody different.

[Bird]

Did you?

[Larry]

Yeah, you did.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It was creeper. You used your mom's underwear.

[Larry]

I did. When I was that age. 12, 13, 14.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Until I discovered girls would actually, you know, let you, you know, be with them. Yeah. I mean, at that age, you know, you're not. You're not. Well, I don't know about this day society, but back then, you know, you just, you know, you didn't get real live people with you.

[Bird]

Bert, did you ever grab a pair of Myers boy shorts?

[Larry]

Hey, I had all brothers. What can you do?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Stop it.

[Larry]

So shouldn't freak. Here's my. Because it truly is my advice. She shouldn't freak. It's a. It's. And by the way, I grew up as a, you know, normal old, you know, hetero, had kids, married guy, so didn't affect me in the long term. It's. It's about the items. It's not about Mom. Okay. If it's about mom, there's other issues.

[Bird]

It's about the item that to me, I think. And I. I would know. I would watch the CBS News before Katie Couric was on. And whoever the anchor was, use that.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

But what he's saying is so like Larry. I mean, he's saying he was just different.

[Caller]

It was.

[Burt]

It was the item.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It was the item.

[Burt]

Silky material.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Connie, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning, Burt show.

[Larry]

Hi.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

What an interesting half hour.

[Caller]

I'm a single parent of four boys, 21 to 10. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation. I mean, and the fact that he had women's panties, you might want to ask him, but I really don't think it's anything unusual. You know, age will do it with anything.

[Bird]

They weren't women's panties. They were his mom.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah. The fact that it's mom's is again.

[Caller]

Maybe it was just the fact that there were. They were panties.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Right, right, right. It's just the item.

[Larry]

It's not.

[Burt]

And she has four boys. She would know.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

All right, just take one more of these. Good morning, ruth, you're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. Hey, I Think it's a little bit simpler. The mom walks in, he's doing what he's doing, shuts the door, and at some point either she or her son's father, her husband speaks to him and says, hey, that's cool. I'm not comfortable with you using my panties. And then he'll figure something else out after that.

[Jen]

I think the guy, if his father's in the house, I think the father should, should have the conversation. I don't think the mother should go and say, I'm not comfortable with you using my panties to, you know, I'm

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

with you on that. I think that's conversation with that guy.

[Wendy]

And guy, if he's there.

[Caller]

If he's there.

[Bird]

Good call.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay, that was fun. We made our way through that one.

[Lady Luck]

Get it?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

The Bird show

[Apollo Sponsor Announcer]

this episode sponsored by Apollo still moving deals forward from your desk. With Apollo, you can go to market on the go, find leads, research accounts and launch outreach right Inside Claude and ChatGPT. You can even make calls or research leads from Gmail, your CRM or company websites. So whether you're at the airport or on a coffee run, Apollo works where you work. No more switching tabs or devices. Grow boldly with Apollo, the revenue engine trusted by over 3 million teams. Visit Apollo I.O. anywhere and start free today. That's Apollo Ioanywhere.

[Wendy]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher and the Mango pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Refreshers contain caffeine. The Bird Show. I don't know if I should laugh or cry at some of restaurants and fast foods that are coming out with some of their new sandwiches. You know, like it used to be that fast food was branded. You knew when you were going to a fast food joint, forget about your diet, forget about Counting calories and food and sodium and all that. If you're going to Mickey D's, you go to get your Big Mac on, man.

[Burt]

Totally. Yeah. You got to throw that all out the window. Out the drive through window, totally.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Right. That was the mentality a while ago. But then we started getting politically correct. And the fast food restaurants also realized that they needed to put some healthy stuff on the menu. So then you started dealing with salads and grilled chicken sandwiches and they were more health conscious.

[Burt]

Right, right. They've got those little packets of fruit for the kids and that kind of thing. Because I think, because back in the day, it was a once in a while thing if you went to McDonald's.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Right.

[Burt]

So you could splurge and have all the fatty stuff. But now parents are feeding their kids that every day.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Right.

[Burt]

So then they get in trouble because kids are obese. Well, guess why? Because you're going to McDonald's every day or wherever. Every.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Some of these fast food restaurants and restaurants are like rebelling again. And they're going the other way. Cause they're creating these sandwiches that are so bad for you. It's like f you. We're back, people. Have you guys heard about the KFC's double down sandwich?

[Spinquest Announcer]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Oh, you heard about this?

[Wendy]

I've seen it. It just looks disgusting.

[Bird]

Have you seen it in person?

[Jen]

No. Have you? Did you eat it?

[Burt]

What's on this thing?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay, let me tell you exactly. First of all, it's gotta be good for you because they're taking the carbs out of it. Cause there's no bunny, there's no bun. No bun on the thing because the sandwich is too big. Here it is. It has two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken fillets, two pieces of bacon.

[Burt]

Are those fried?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It comes either fried or grilled. If you get it grilled, you save yourself 80 calories. But I'll tell you what the calorie count is, all right? So you got two pieces of chicken, you got two pieces of bacon, you got two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper Jack cheese and kernel sauce. It actually sounds pretty good, but it's so big that you literally can't put a bun on it because you can't put it in your mouth. It's 540 calories, 1300 milligrams of sodium and 32 grams of fat. Now if you go with the grilled, it's 460 calories.

[Wendy]

Oh, good, I can save some now.

[Burt]

I can go get it.

[Wendy]

Let's go grab one.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

But if you go grilled, then you get more sodium. But nobody's really concerned about that, even though you should be 1400 calories right now. IHOP comes out yesterday with a brand new dessert. Did you guys hear about this?

[Jen]

No.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

All right, here's your dessert. It's called the pancake Pancake stackers. And it consists of crustless cheesecake filling surrounded by two pancakes topped with strawberry, blueberry or cinnamon, apple, and whipped topping. When all is said and done, eggs, bacon, and hash browns. 1250 calories. Oh, man.

[Wendy]

And they display that on their menu, by the way. I boycott IHOP because if I'm gonna go grab it and I want it and it looks tasty, don't tell me the calories. I just want to go eat it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Well, they're starting to make that mandatory.

[Jen]

It's a law now.

[Bird]

We're becoming law fast food restaurants.

[Fred's Appliance Announcer]

Right.

[Bird]

But I don't think, like, I don't think it would apply to a sit down.

[Jen]

It eventually will, though, because. I mean. Yeah. And that way, they can't be that way because most everything. Most. Most everybody and every company and everything, if you get punished for it, then you'll do something. You'll react if you have to be liable for something. And there's so many people now, which I agree with, Jen is stupid to. You can't sue McDonald's. You can't sue the restaurant for making you fat. But people are starting to do that. And so in order to keep every, you know, like, it's not our fault. Look, we showed you exactly what's in this. We showed you exactly what the calorie count is. It is your responsibility to eat a 1200 calorie meal.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I was wondering if you're a woman, from a woman's perspective, right. If you go to McDonald's and they have. Because up behind them now will be like, whatever, McDonald's french fries. And it'll tell you how many calories are in it. Or it'll say, give me a sandwich from McDonald's. Big Mac, Big Mac with cheese. Right. And it'll tell you how many calories it's gonna be over the top, you know, like 400. As a woman, would you be sort of pressured into not ordering that? Because you would.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

I mean, even at ihop. Yeah. Even looking on the menu at ihop, I sat there and was so conscious about what I was picking because that has too many calories. That has too many calories. And the people around me are gonna judge me on what I have on my plate because they can see it on their menu. So they're judging me on how much I'm eating.

[Burt]

I was gonna say, cause it would depend on if I was in the drive thru by myself and gonna get it in the car by myself or whether I was going in with other friends and had to see it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

So if it would play.

[Burt]

Yeah, if it was in front of other people, it would definitely influence my choices.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Now for a guy, it wouldn't matter, right? You go in there, you don't care

[Bird]

if you're going to a fast food restaurant, you know. Yeah, like I don't think it would. I wouldn't even look at it. I think you know what you're getting when you're there.

[Jen]

Yeah, but women count calories all the time. I mean this is, I mean, yeah, it is. Just because I go into McDonald's and I see a calorie thing. That's not the first time I've looked at a calorie count that day.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

But now others know what you're ordering and how much is in it. So that would definitely put added pressure on you.

[Jen]

Well, unlike Jen, I mean, it would put pressure on me just to see it. Like to me, out of sight, out of mind, like, oh, well, I'm going to eat that and I don't even think about the effects it's going to have on me. But if I see the calorie count, I don't need other people around me to think, oh really? Damn, do I really want to do that? So especially depending on the time of the year, if it's the wintertime, who cares? I need some insulation. But if it's the summertime and I have to put a bathing suit on, yeah, not worth it.

[Burt]

I'll just lie to myself in the car and go, okay, well I'm going to eat this now, but I'm going to work out extra hard later.

[Lady Luck]

Right.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Hey Katie, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. I just wanted to let you guys know that the new law applies to all restaurants with 30 locations or more nationally.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay, and what is that law that the calorie count has to be posted next to the food item?

[Caller]

I don't know that they specified calories yet. The FDA is still working on it. But maybe calories, it may be sodium, maybe fat, not quite sure yet. But yeah, as of now, certain local laws have it that it needs to be as large as the price of the menu and it needs to be next to the item.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

And that's where the gulf comes in,

[Jen]

right there next to the item. I think some restaurants get away with that because they have it available, like, on a counter somewhere. And when you pull out the slip, you can see there's the item and there's the calorie count.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

You can avoid that.

[Jen]

They don't necessarily put it on the menu behind the server.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

That's what the new law says. That's why I was asking you guys if you were gonna feel guilty because it'll be there, posted right next to your sandwich.

[Jen]

I think it should. I think it should be. Because I think it should be. The pressure should be on restaurants because if. Because I know that when I had diet restrictions, I was frustrated because nobody prepared good food. You cannot get healthy fast food. You just can't. I mean, you can't. Honestly, you cannot. Based on. If you. If you make a meal at home and you get a fast food meal, the food at home is always going to be healthier. And so I think it should be. I think restaurants should have pressure to make better food. Absolutely.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I just still have, I guess, the old school mentality that that's not a healthy alternative for me. If I'm going to go fast food, I'm going to go. I'm going to get a whopper. I'm going to get my fries, fully knowing I'm getting my fat on and my salt on. Totally. Here's Stephanie. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. I was calling because I went to Bahama Breeze a few months ago and I had this most incredible salmon salad. It was delicious. So I got to thinking, well, man, this is a new dish that I'm going to start eating. So I got to thinking, well, if it's that good, I wonder how much fat it has in it. So I go to their website and I look it up, and I almost peed my pants when I saw how much fat was in it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

How many grams?

[Caller]

68 grams of fat.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

In a salmon salad?

[Caller]

In a salmon salad.

[Burt]

Wow.

[Jen]

The word salad is deceiving because even at other fast food restaurants, the salad can be just as fattening as the sandwiches.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

But the fattening part comes from the. Like, if you're having a taco salad, isn't the fat mostly in the fried?

[Bird]

But the reason salads are so good at restaurants is because they put three times as much dressing on as you would at your own kitchen table. It's like the reason that steak is so good at restaurants is cause guess what, there's, you know, a quarter stick of butter cooked on it when it's cooked.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Is that what they're doing, Stephanie, at Bahama Breeze? It's all the fat is in the butter that they're cooking the salmon in.

[Caller]

That's what I. That's what I was thinking. Because the dressing itself is listed separately and it's 4 grams just by itself for the dressing.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It has to be, because salmon by itself isn't. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. 68 grams of fat in the Bahama Brie salmon salad.

[Jen]

I think some places with all the cheese and with all the croutons, with all the meat and with, you know, and the dressing, they think if you throw a couple leaves of lettuce in there, people gonna think they're healthy. That's healthy.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Hey, Amber. Good morning.

[Bird]

That's right. You ever see somebody go to like a fast food restaurant and take the top bun off the sandwich? Like they get a Big Mac, but then they take the top bun off and they're like, yeah, yeah, I'm doing the Atkins thing.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, I'm saving myself five stars.

[Bird]

Really. But guess what? That's not the issue. It's the four slices of cheese and the special sauce.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Hey, Amber. Good morning. You're part of the Birch Show?

[Caller]

Hey, I was just calling. Joanna answered the phone and I am. I am. I'm 54 and right at probably 195 weight. Weight, you know, probably 40 pounds overweight. But I was amazed that the three women that are in your studio right now, as thin as they are, are that self conscious about when they eat something. Because I never would have thought that. People always think, oh, my God, I can't order that because someone's going to think, I'm, I'm. I'm fat. Lord have mercy. I mean, us thick girls, we, you know, when we order anything other than a salad, we always think people are looking at us.

[Burt]

We do, too. We do the same thing.

[Caller]

Yeah, I never would have thought that. Never.

[Jen]

And you think that we're not freaked out about this morph suit? I mean, you're crazy. Like, I think two different pairs of

[Burt]

shorts in my bag right now to figure out which ones will look better.

[Bird]

Yeah, you're wearing a bodysuit. Nobody's going to be looking at what short you have on, just so you know.

[Jen]

Yeah, the women are far. And I have not spoken with Wendy or Jen about it, but we're far more self conscious about that morph suit bet than you guys are.

[Wendy]

Oh, absolutely.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I think that's a pretty interesting observation there, that heavier women think that skinny women don't think about Food or body image at all. And I'm assuming that thin women assume that heavier women don't worry about that kind of thing and that's why they're heavy. Is that true?

[Burt]

No, I think. I mean, I just assume that all women think about it same way all the time.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah.

[Jen]

I just. Yeah. I wish that. I wish there was a way for me to be able to eat one meal stress free and it's gonna be

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

impossible the rest of my life and not think about.

[Jen]

Not think about it fat or anything like that.

[Burt]

I went to Chick Fil A this week which is like my favoritest thing in the world to eat and it was like a total indulgent. And I hid the garbage from myself and from anybody that at my house to see it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Really?

[Jen]

Yes.

[Bird]

You hid the garbage?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

I've never seriously.

[Jen]

I've had Katie see fast food bags in my car that I left in the car and make a comment to me because she's. Because with two women in the house, we're constantly talking.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

That's fine.

[Bird]

That'd be neat.

[Jen]

That's why I got a damn pedometer on.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

This is a fight you and I will never understand. Never understand. The Birch Show.

[Wendy]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon refresher and the Mango Pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse with family.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Cannolis and spins mean everything.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Now you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots. Someday I will call upon you to

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

do a service for me.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Play the Godfather [e-mail] we'll welcome to the family.

[Larry]

No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Spinquest Announcer]

The Bird Show.

[Wendy]

There is a lesson to be learned from my bar experience over the weekend. And the lesson in just in one line is think before you send a drink.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Think before you send a drink. Is your new platform.

[Wendy]

It is my new platform tagline.

[Fred's Appliance Announcer]

Yes.

[Wendy]

Because I was out with some friends over the weekend and I'm standing at the bar and I see what appears to be an attractive guy across the bar. He looks like he's alone or hanging with a couple of friends. Friends just chilling, you know, having a good time. This is later on in the night, probably around 12:30, 1 o'.

[Larry]

Clock.

[Burt]

So you've got, you've got a fancy buzz on by now.

[Wendy]

Oh, well, I got a couple of cocktails.

[Burt]

I'm feeling. You're feeling fancy and hot.

[Wendy]

I mean, I'm feeling good about myself. I'm feeling confident. I'm like, there's a hot guy over there. This is what I'm gonna do. I am gonna send him a drink. So maybe he'll come over here and talk to me. Because that's, I mean, that's just what I do. I've got a little bit of game. So instead of him coming up to me, I'm gonna send him a drink. Hopefully he'll come talk to me. And then wham, bam, we're, we're instant, like text messaging and all that stuff. They don't have any bo. That's the goal. So I send him over a drink and he gets up and he comes right on over to the other side of the bar to say thank you for the drink.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It's like a magnet. Like a junk magnet.

[Wendy]

Yeah. And he, and he walks closer and he gets closer and he. No offense to short guys, but gets shorter.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

The reoccurring theme to start the show and to end the show today. That's cool.

[Jen]

Shorts sandwich.

[Wendy]

So he gets closer and closer. I'm like, oh, this guy's a little shorter than I am. He's a little, A lot shorter than I was. I'm wearing. I mean, I only have probably like maybe three inch heels on.

[Jen]

And how tall are you?

[Wendy]

I'm five three. So I was maybe like five five.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Wendy]

I was maybe five five.

[Bird]

So how sure was he like bird height?

[Wendy]

No, he. He was shorter than bird.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It's okay. If he's my height, it's okay. But I know what this guy is going through. Like, I'm feeling for him right now because When I was single, I was always so insecure and being at the bar, on a bar stool because you look differently when you're sit. Bar stool. When you're five, four down. When you get down. I know what this.

[Bird]

And then somebody on the other side of the bar, you jump off the bar stool and all they can see

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

is your head just coming over the spike of my head.

[Wendy]

He looked like he would have been like six, five, this buff dude. And he comes walking over and I'm like, okay, this is fine. But he gets closer and closer. There's hair coming out of his chest, like out of his T shirt, out of his back. I'm like, oh, this is definitely not my type of guy. So I'm.

[Bird]

He's a short and furious.

[Wendy]

Yeah, short furry guy. I mean, we sat there and you're

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

like, wait, we work together. I can't be sending you a drink.

[Wendy]

But as he got closer, just not my type of guy. So I should have. What I should have done was taken my friend's advice and had my friend go check out the guy before I bought him a drink. Because then he bought me a drink back. He bought me a drink back. So obviously I'm obligated to stay in there. This 30 minute, 30 minute conversation with a guy I wasn't even attracted to, that I thought I was attracted to because across the bar, he looked amazing.

[Jen]

He didn't look his primate across the board.

[Burt]

Let me ask you guys about that move about Wendy sending a guy a drink. What kind of perception does a guy have when that happens?

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

For me, it was such a relief, man. Like, really, there's somebody in here that's digging on me. Like, there's no cloudy thought about it. It's like, cool. All right, the ice is broken. We're in. I'm so much more relaxed.

[Bird]

Especially if you're a special needs guy, like this guy or Bert, like, oh, good, somebody to help me back up on the barstool later.

[Wendy]

There's nothing wrong with the guy. He had a great personality. But just not somebody I was.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Don't get offended. For me because of Jeff, I'm okay.

[Wendy]

It was just somebody I was not attracted to. Up close, far away, you're great.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Well, that's a good way. That's what a good wingman is supposed to do. You're supposed to send your woman over there, she does recon for you and then tells you, you if. If it's cool to send a drink or not.

[Wendy]

I will give my friend the benefit of the doubt. She did Volunteer to go over there and check him out before I send him a drink. But I was like, no, no, he looks great.

[Burt]

This will be fine.

[Wendy]

Just one drink and that would be it.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay. Repeat your new tagline then over and over and over again.

[Wendy]

Think before you send a drink. Think before you send the drink. And spend 20 bucks on two shots.

[Burt]

Just think about it.

[Bird]

Did you do both of those shots in order to make it easier to deal with your day?

[Lady Luck]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

Because I will let you know this. With every shot you do, I will grow 3 inches or I'll just take off my shoes. The same thing used to happen to me in a car. Also, like, I would never try to meet somebody in traffic because you can't tell how tall the dude is if you're in traffic. If I get out of the car and I'm mini me, that's gonna be uncomfortable for everybody.

[Jen]

I just had a sad life.

[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

It's a sad, short life.

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[Wendy]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

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[Bird]

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[Bird]

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[Host (possibly Jen Hobby)]

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