Loading summary
A
Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you that's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but go via the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borhears.com hey everybody. Lady luck here and we're celebrating America's 250th birthday.
B
Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.
C
Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Dear Burcha, can you train a dude that's not talented in bed to be good in bed? Because Brittany here on the voice disguiser is dating a guy she's all excited about, except in this area, he's just below average. Hey, Brittany.
B
Hi there.
C
How are you?
B
Well, I'm well.
C
Did I get all that right? Like you're excited about this dude, but he's just not measuring up?
B
Well, yeah, he's perfect in just about every other way except when it comes to kissing and sex. And I figure he's 45 if he doesn't know he's bad by now. Is he even trainable?
C
404-741-Q100.
D
How long have you guys been together?
B
Only about a month and a half.
D
Okay.
E
Was he in a relationship right before yours?
B
Pardon?
E
Was he in a relationship with someone else right before yours?
B
I don't, I don't think so. I think he's dated a couple times, but I think the only relationship he was in prior to us is his ex wife.
C
I'm wondering if the, if there, if the age is a major factor here.
F
Here.
C
This dude's 45 years old. I mean you're not talking about a guy that's 24 and hasn't been with a bunch of women. Talking about a 45 year old guy, pretty set in his ways.
D
He might not have been with a lot of women. Was he with a lot of women before he was married?
B
No, it sounds like he got married. I think he was about 22 or 23 when he got married.
E
Yeah.
D
So pretty limited experience and it was all with one woman basically.
E
Because I have always been the believer that I think there is a legitimate, legitimate attempt to train as we say is valid because I believe that people get so routine if they're in a relationship with somebody. You do what you do to please each other, but everybody's different. And so I think, especially in the beginning of a relationship, if it's bad, I do think that it's worth a conversation because I think that whatever he may be doing that's not satisfying you may have satisfied his ex wife and he thinks that's going to satisfy everybody.
C
So how do you tell a dude that, like how do you approach that conversation?
E
Either we're going to break up or you're going to try something different. Oh, that's pretty brutal because, because how
C
did you take that when Jessica said that to you? Is that hard?
F
There's. Yeah, a little bit. There's.
E
It's because you're gonna break up. You're gonna break up if you don't have the conversation.
F
But that conversation might like he might then initiate the breakup because that's, that's a, that's a humbling thing to recover from.
D
It's like an ego blow.
E
How do you die?
C
You know how like when women are talking about their body image, that dudes can't poss. The struggle you have every day. I don't think in a woman's mind you can understand how much of our ego is wrapped up in this one topic.
E
I can't because I deal with women and you know, I. Well, so how do you tell a guy.
D
Here's my question. Have you Guys, like, when you're in those moments, have you ever, like, kind of like quietly, like, nicely, sort of like, coached?
B
Yes. Especially when it came to the kissing. And it's so funny, the segment you had on about the kissing. It was. It was the whole hard tongue rammed in as far as possible, licking my face. It was just awful.
A
And you're still with him.
B
Wait, let me.
F
He's a border collie.
C
Is it accurate to say that if you're a guy, a woman will show you what she likes if you allow her to show you what she likes?
D
I think some women that are confident enough in what they want would be able to do that. But sometimes women don't know and men don't know, and then it's a mess. But if you know, I think you can do some gentle coaching. Like, I don't know, I mean, I think you can sit in front of him when you're kissing and be like, let's try this. Like, what do you think about if you do this or do that differently or whatever, but not be like, demanding or bossy about it. Be kind of like sweet about it. And like, if you're, like sitting there kissing him in between coaching, kissing him, I mean, he's going to want to still be there.
C
Now, I will tell you what not to do. This is based on an email we got a couple of weeks ago. Remember that one woman was saying that was it her husband that wasn't real good in bed, so she went out and she got a bunch of adult films and he got all, like, addicted to him and stuff, and he started doing the raunchiest things to her that he saw in the adult films, like really nasty things.
A
He got the advanced tapes, though.
E
Maybe he started the beginner level.
C
Here's Kim. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
B
Yes. Hi. My ex husband, he wasn't very good in that department. And I just coached him along and he thanked me to this day that he and his wife that he's married to now, he grabbed. He said, thank you for teaching me, because I had no clue.
C
Okay, so how did you approach that initial conversation with him?
B
Well, more or less, I just started trying different things with him. I'd say, honey, you know, let's try this or let's try to do a little bit of this. And would you mind going here? And little by little, it just started developing. And then we did watch some adult movies, but they weren't the raunchy ones. It was more like the Playboy ones where they're more Soft.
C
Okay.
B
And it really helped. And his wife thanks me to this day.
C
So, Brittany, are you in the, in an advanced part of your relationship with this guy where you guys can watch some of the like late night Cinemax stuff where you see something but you don't see something?
F
Cinemax?
D
Dude, they've only been dating for six weeks.
C
Well, I mean, she's ready to bail.
D
I think you gotta, you gotta gently talk to him about it first. I mean, can't you like guide his hand where you want it to go?
B
Talk about I did that actually.
D
Speed, repetition, pressure.
B
You're clueless. So you have tried to coach him.
E
He's gonna lose it.
B
Yeah, I have.
E
I mean, he's gonna lose and he's the sure thing.
D
Not responding.
B
Not responding at all.
C
Hey, Mia, good morning. You're on Q100.
B
Hey, good morning, guys. Hi. I was just calling because I wanted to chime in to say, to tell her to run. I've been in a similar situation and the first time that guy makes her angry pisses her off. The first thing she wants to do is to go out and get something. That's good. So and so, you know, the guy that I dated was actually div. And after dating him for three months, I understand why his, you know, he was divorced. His wife went after something, was a lot better. So save herself some time. The good personality is not worth it.
C
Hey, Brittany, let me ask you this. Let's be totally honest. Is, is the age a factor in this way? In that he's 45 now. I'm assuming you're in your 40s.
B
I am. I'll be 41 next week.
C
Are you sticking out with him more now because there are less guys available that are in your age range?
B
You know, it's interesting because I really don't put myself out there very much so. I've been divorced four and a half years and this is only the second person that I've been with. And my ex husband and I were married 20 years. And like I said in the email, he was horrible in head and I didn't know it until I had the first lover after him and the first rebound.
E
So this guy that you're with now, is he better or worse than your ex husband?
B
Oh, he's. He's worse.
C
Oh.
E
Oh, damn.
D
Honey, I think you need to go because you've tried to coach him. It's not working. And you've been putting up with that for many years. You just want somebody good.
E
Made love for lost time.
C
Half your life. You made love To a dude that sucked at it.
D
You need to get. Yeah, you need to get somebody who knows what they're doing.
F
Have you spent any time thinking about the fact that maybe you're bad?
B
Well, I would think that if it weren't for the fact that this other guy that I was with, we were like. It was freaking incredible for both of us all the time.
D
That's awesome.
E
I'd call him back. Yeah.
C
Where's he.
D
Yeah, where'd he go? What happened to him?
B
We're good friends. We're just really good friends. But he wants different things. I don't want to be married. He wants to be married. And. And I don't want to be married again. I would just like to, you know. Of course, he did just break up with his girlfriend, so maybe we could get benefits.
C
I guarantee you will be calling him within a month.
D
A little Friends with benefits this weekend. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta ditch the guy who's not good. You've been dealing with not good for too long.
C
Here is Ashley, who has had some teaching experience. Hey, Ashley.
B
Hey. Hey, I had a comment for the caller that called in. I'll get the letter.
C
Yeah, you're on with her right now. Her name's Brittany.
B
Okay. Hey, Brittany. Hi, there. Hey. Well, my comment was, you know, if he's pretty much good in every other department, then you should, you know, stick it out and work with them, you know? Cause my baby father, he wasn't excellent. You know, he gave me the whole line before we even slept together. Well, I've been celibate for a year, so don't expect the best. But it didn't get better. So I just, you know, I think that you should just stick with them, you know, and work with them. You can teach them things.
E
But don't you think that your boyfriend.
A
He.
E
Up front, was humble about it? Like, it opened up the conversation where he could say something. Because if he said, you know what, it's been a while, whatever, at least then there was room to teach, you know?
B
Right.
E
I don't think that. What's her call?
F
Her.
E
I'm sorry. Brittany.
C
Brittany.
E
Yeah. Brittany. Doesn't sound like he's. You don't feel comfortable enough saying anything to him.
D
No, see, I just. I don't think a guy should say that.
C
I can't think of a worse way to get into that.
D
Yeah, I mean, I think maybe, like,
B
change my thinking on it and, you know, I'm 41 years old, and at this point in my life, I'm comfortable spending time with myself. And there's a lot of nice guys out there, but I need. I need freaking satisfaction. I mean, I can go and have a conversation with the guy at the bookstore and be perfectly fine with that, but I'm not going to jump into bed with the guy at the bookstore. So I think I need a little bit more than just a really nice guy at this stage in my life.
C
You know, there's a guy in Nevada. We know it just cost you a couple of pennies, but Marcus,
E
he's the prostitute.
C
Hey, Aaron.
F
He's not really that good looking and he's not really that well endowed, and he's only been with three women. But for 200 bucks, he'll show you the best mediocre time you've ever had for 200 bucks.
C
Hey, Aaron, good morning. You're on Q100.
B
Good morning.
C
Hi.
B
Hi. I'm listening to everyone. I think it was just Ashley just talking and Brittany responding to that also. But I was gonna kind of say what the woman before, maybe it was Ashley that was saying it. You know, I was with. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he was horrible. Horrible. It made me question if I even wanted to be with him. It made me, you know, everything else was there. Every. Every other aspect of the relationship was absolutely there. He treated me like a queen. Everything was perfect. I almost couldn't get over the sex part. And really what worked with me was just time and. And I'm. I also do some my job. So at first I was like, well, maybe I should coach him. And then it's awesome. Well, you know, I was like, well, like what Bert said, sometimes you can't, you know, take on a man's ego. So you got to be careful, like how you coach, how you coach a man. So for me, it was just kind of finding out what he did good and wanting more of that.
F
You put together, put together a PowerPoint.
E
It's just. It's super bowl weekend. You know what, just put on a coach's uniform with a whistle or whatever and say, honey, we're going to role play this weekend. And that way you can be the coach and you tell them what to do. And he thinks, oh, this is fun because we're role playing.
C
Hey, Zach, what's up?
B
Hey, Berto. I just want to call in with the mail response here. I was a coachee once.
E
Okay.
B
You know, my, my fiance is a little hard to get her there. And I mean, if. If this guy is at all observant, then he's got to know he's not quite doing it. So, I mean, just have the conversation.
C
Well, that's what I was thinking, but some were calling and saying that dudes. Some dudes just don't get the signals at all. Like, you got the signals. Some dudes are clueless.
B
I mean, if he's not picking it up, then, you know, then maybe drop him. But I don't know. It's kind of insulting that all the guys here, like, yeah, you can't really brush this guy to big babies.
C
I think it's a. I think it's a pretty big. I think you can.
D
Let me ask him. How long were you guys dating before she felt comfortable enough to bring it up and start, quote, unquote, coaching you?
B
I don't know. Couple months, maybe.
D
Okay.
C
And did she verbally tell you what to do or she showed you what to do?
B
Little of both. I mean, there were conversations, and then there was, you know, here's what we're gonna do. Here's what we're gonna try.
D
I think it's good for both people in the party to ask the question, like, what do you like? Like, is this what you like? Do you like this? Do you like that? You know what I mean?
B
Yeah.
E
It's like I said. I mean, men must be different because, I mean, you know, at the beginning, I said that I think that it. You can say. I mean, it's your body. You say what you want, you know, and you should expect to be told the same thing. But, I mean, it seems like guys can't take it.
C
At the end of the day. If a woman asked a guy, am I good in bed? Or if a guy asked a woman, I should say, let's reverse that. Guy asks his girlfriend or wife, am I good in bed? Will she even be honest with him? I think if he's bad, would she say, not really.
B
Depends how long you're together.
E
In the beginning, probably.
B
No,
E
I don't think.
D
I think. I like. I think that's why she's on the phone with us asking the question, because she's having a hard time talking to him about it. But I don't think it has to be that one general conversation. You're either good or you're bad. Like, how about you can improve, like here, there, whatever. But I think it has to be sort of a coaching session inside of the moment, not some conversation over dinner.
C
Let me just take one more here. Hey, Eric. Good morning.
D
I don't know.
B
Hey, Bert, how are you this morning?
C
All right. How are you?
B
I'm doing good. I Actually have some advice for Brittany.
E
Okay.
B
Just get it yourself, girl.
C
What do you mean?
B
Like, have. If she knows what she likes, throw him down and take it.
C
Take charge.
B
That's right.
F
He say, throw him down and take it.
E
Goes back to my coach's uniform. You know what? Or have a referee, like a real sexy referee outfit with the whistle this weekend. Say we're going to super bowl role play.
C
I'm telling you, just sheer numbers here, though, Brittany. You've been half your life with a dude that was bad in bed. Oh, it is. It is time.
E
She's like, I wasted my 20s.
C
Yes.
B
That's what I'm saying. It's like, I. I paid my dues. I want to have some damn good sex now.
D
You're so cute.
C
All right, Brittany, thanks for calling.
B
Thanks.
C
Bye. Bye. Get it the bird show.
A
Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and you drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R H R S.combird for hers.com bird weightless by hers is not available in all 50 states with Gobi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s To get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borehurst.com
B
hey guys, lady luck here. Are you going on any road trips this summer? I know I'm going to be going
A
on a bunch of road trips and
B
being that I'm going to be passenger princess, I Love playing on Spinquest.com Spinquest
A
has all of my favorite slot games. Live blackjack, live craps.
B
Head on over to Spinquest right now and get yourself a thirty dollar coin pack for just ten bucks.
C
Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Boyd where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.
F
Save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons this week.
C
Extra meaty pork back ribs bone in
F
are 2.99 per pound limit, two member price. And sweet three red cherries are $2.99 per pound limit 6 pounds member price
C
with coupon plus signature select 80% lean
F
ground beef sold in three pound twin pack bricks is $4.99 per pound limit one member price with coupon. Fresh and delicious savings for every meal. Hurry in. This deal won't last. Visit safewayeralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save
C
the Birch show at the teacher vent line. Josh was telling me they cannot clear this thing fast enough now. I mean, we have really. I think teachers are looking for a place to vent.
E
Well, and you know, it's a public service because we're helping them save their jobs because they can't. They have to be perfect and happy and loving and nurturing all day long. But people are just getting on their nerves, right?
C
You know, and like you said, it's spring break now.
B
Oh, yeah.
C
Or it's in a week. And I think that week before spring break, I think is a lot like us with vacation. Like, everything's fine up until like the last couple of days right before you can see the finish line. Then all of a sudden you're so burned out, right? You're just. And everything is annoying you and the
E
kids aren't behaving perfectly right before they're going on vacation.
D
Right?
C
Two more days. Two more days. All right, so here's the latest round of teacher vent lines.
B
Hi. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I'm getting sick of how my county will not pay for substitute teachers when the rest of the school calls out sick or takes personal days so they take away my teach. I am sick of this. Because they're raising the expectations, but they are not giving us what we need to meet them. Administrators and legislators and everyone else who's on top. You can suck it. You need to get back in the classroom and see how it is. Thank you.
F
Damn. Wow.
E
Let's find my kindergarten tea. That's right.
D
She was polite at the end.
B
She said, thank you.
F
Thank you.
C
After she said, suck it.
F
She said thank you. She must be like a teacher's young kids, you know, polite manner. Suck it. Thank you.
A
Please.
F
Suck it. Please.
C
Thank you. And we didn't voice Disguise that call. So that's what she really sounds like.
B
And I hear one more parent say, what are you doing to fix my child? I swear I'm putting my eyes out with a red hot poker. What are you doing to fix your child? They are your child and not my responsibility. I see them for seven hours a day, five days a week. And that's if you decide you want to get your lazy butt out of bed and bring him to school. I love my students.
C
I'd say 90% of the calls that we've been getting on the teacher vet line are about the parents, not about the students. It's about the parents.
B
I don't have a single problem with my students. It's the parents that I have a hard time with. They want to tell me how to do my job. And I have three degrees in teaching, seven years of experience in and they've never been trained in teaching. They're going to tell me that I'm doing it wrong and they want to come in and tell me how to do my job. We never go into someone else's job and tell them how to do it. But by God, for some reason parents think it's okay to step in and tell us how to do ours. I'm so over it. Thanks. Really? How do you expect someone in kindergarten to determine how they get home? That is not their job. They are 4, 5 and 6 year olds. Get it together, parents. I mean really take some responsibilities for your child if they get lost. You're hard. You gonna get mad with me? You need to be responsible. Okay, it's on. Because let me tell you what if I have to hear one more legislator talking about how teachers are horrible and it's not the kids fault that they're failing. Even if they don't do their homework, they don't study for tests, their pants are hanging down to their knees, they're too busy with talking about drinking and girls and everything else that goes on. Education starts in the home. Start making the parents accountable. You read on a first grade level and you are in the fourth grade. You did not write this two page paper. Please stop telling me that you did. And if you really want to convince me that you did it, let your mom come in here so that I can grade her. So she's the one doing all the work. Bam.
C
So it's about the parents, it's not about the kids.
E
And I'm almost more afraid of the ones who are like trying to be polite through the whole conversation like her and, and next time and like kill somebody.
F
That's the person who you read about in the paper. I don't know what I mean. She was a quiet neighbor. She was really nice. I had no idea that she had run over the parent teacher conference with a car.
E
Exactly.
C
I think the next vent line we have to set up is for the parents responding back to the teachers. We're not going to do that now, though.
A
Yeah.
E
No, I was.
B
Yeah.
E
The teachers need their say.
C
Yeah. We still have a lot of mining to do here. 4052-5544-4255-4535 is the teacher vent line. So if you're a teacher and you need to get it out, obviously we'll voice disguise you, and you can do it right there. Hey, the birch show.
E
So there's a news story we haven't had a chance to get to in the past couple days, but it's Oscar the cat out of Providence, Rhode Island. Now, he's been in the news before because he's the cat that's in that nursing home that can predict the deaths of the patients. So what he does is he'll go into the room of the patient. And again, what fascinates the staff is because they may not necessarily know that that patient's going to die, but this cat has gone into the room and curled up in bed with them, slept with them, and then that person has passed away. And so he's back in the news because I believe they're starting to really kind of go back and see how accurate this cat has been. And they say that in five years that the cat has lived at this nursing home, that the cat has predicted 50 deaths of people. 50. And so. And they said, you know, even if the patient has the door shut, that Oscar the cat will scratch at that door until he is let in that room of the person who, you know, hours later actually passes away. So I'm fascinated by that.
F
That was an episode of house, wasn't it? Isn't there an episode of house where there's a cat?
D
Maybe there used to be a schnauzer that did it, too. At a nursing home, the dog would go and sleep in the bed of the person who. Who then died the next day.
F
Do you think it's like a psychic where you force yourself to believe what the psychic says? So you think the old people are like, oh, God, the schnauzer's here.
E
Well, there's a part of me. It's like, you know what? Let him. Let him in. Because it's like, maybe he's Maybe they're helping, you know, you don't know what goes on.
F
But I don't want to let him in.
D
Well, I don't want a cat to.
E
It's not going to my door if Oscar is scratching at my door. Oscar's trying to tell me something. I mean, I'm not going to not die because I keep the cat outside the door.
D
Yeah, exactly. Maybe he's, like, helping your family members that are already passed find you because
E
Catsman has an ability that other people don't realize they have.
D
I just finished reading the Lovely Bones, and you never know what your heaven's gonna look like.
E
I didn't read the book.
D
Oh, my God.
B
So good.
D
But anyway, I just think that maybe it's like a, I don't know, welcoming committee, maybe.
E
You don't know.
F
I don't want to be welcomed into heaven by somebody who cleans its own ass with its tongue. If you like some angels or something
D
cleaner than yours, I want.
F
Yeah, but I don't want them doing it.
E
Reach down there. You'd be down there all the time.
F
How did we really go from ner?
D
I don't know. I don't know.
E
She made a butt joke.
F
Here's some audio that Josh found of the nurse, Oscar, the nursing home cat from CBS News.
C
When did you first notice that there was something about Oscar?
B
Well, we noticed about a year and
F
a half ago that he was a rather amazing cat. That's when he sort of first started
B
to make some of his visits. Since that time, we've kept very close tabs on him. And he's not a cat. That's wrong very often.
C
So what does he do?
B
Tell me. Usually anywhere from two to four hours
F
before somebody might expire, he enters the room, and often, if the family doesn't
B
object and they're in attendance, he'll jump into bed with the resident and curl up next to them.
F
Oftentimes, he'll purr.
C
How many times has he done this?
F
We figured that it was about 25 times over the course of the last
E
year, year and a half.
C
Has you ever been wrong?
B
To my knowledge, some patients obviously leave
F
the hospital, leave the nursing home and go to the hospital.
B
So those types of patients, he doesn't. He doesn't get.
C
But for the most part, with patients
B
that are here, he's been pretty accurate. I know actually of no event where he wasn't at the bedside.
F
So he's got 100%, he's predictable accuracy, very accurate.
E
That is so fascinating to me.
D
It is so Fascinating. I think it's cool. I would want him. I would be one of those family members, be like, come on in, let's hang out.
F
Hey, Lori, welcome to the show.
B
Hi. How are you guys?
F
Good, how are you?
B
Wonderful. You know, I was. I wanted to call in and it's funny that you guys are talking about this because my grandfather was in a veterans hospital for about 10 years in Columbia, South Carolina, and they actually have a cat their named lucky, who within 24 to 48 hours of going into someone's room, they pass.
E
Really?
B
Yes. Wow.
D
And where was this?
B
Columbia, South Carolina, on Fort Jackson. And I thought it was very weird. And this is the first time I'd ever heard of another cat doing this. So maybe it's an extra sense they have.
E
I mean, yeah, I am fascinated by that. And then with Oscar, in the story that I have, they talk about how the nurses at this facility assumed that this one patient was going to pass away. And then so they brought Oscar into the. Like, they brought. They brought Oscar into the room thinking, well, okay, we'll see. And Oscar charged out of that room and actually sat outside another patient's door. The patient the nurses thought was going to pass away did not pass away, but the patient that Oscar went to did. And they didn't expect that person to die.
B
I mean, you know how animals, I mean, they can pick up wind. You know, you're not feeling well or when you're sad, or I even, like, I'm a dog girl. Like I, you know, I have my baby and everything and. And I almost believe that, you know, they can see angels. It's not like they can tell us, you know, they've got an extra sense, and I think they know something that we don't.
E
Well, my thing is, I always feel like we as humans have. Have detached ourselves from nature so much. I mean, I do believe that, you know, we always talk about, you know, psychics and, you know, we're fascinated by the ghosts and everything, but I think as humans, we have detached ourselves from nature and our own instincts so much that we don't pick up on all this stuff. But I think animals haven't done that.
F
You know, I appreciate bird show listener April, who is very much aware of what's going on here. Go ahead, April.
B
Why doesn't anybody think this cat's a serial killer?
F
There you go. The cat is killing them.
B
Like, cats end up, like, getting in a crib with a baby and then they end up suffocating the baby. How do you know it's not Something that this. You're not.
F
You're not the only one, Allison. Welcome to the bird show.
B
Hey, how are you? The cat is killing those people.
F
No, the cat is.
B
Yes, Oscar.
F
The killer cats are insane.
B
Seriously, he's climbing into bed and he's sucking the air right out of those poor people.
E
These are people that are afraid of cats. I think that's hilarious.
A
The.
B
The.
F
The Oscar. Oscar. Nobody looks, but Oscar's got a tiny little syringe.
E
And actually, Oscar's claws must be right because they're kind of hollow out.
C
And yes, hey, the bird show.
A
Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegobi pen. It helps regulate your apple appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you that's F O-R-H-E R S.com Bert for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but go via registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s Get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions.
C
Visit borheart.com Whether it's flots or live dealers, Spinquest.com has the first fun and action you're looking for with Spin Quest exclusives. Blackjack, roulette, baccarat and even live dice
B
with craps and bubble craps. The games never stop, so you don't have to.
C
And right now, new users get $30 coin packs for just 10 bucks.
B
Play now@spinquest.com Spin Quest is a free
C
to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.
F
Save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons this week.
C
Extra meaty pork back Ribs bone in are $2.99 per pound limit, two member
F
price and sweet red cherries are $2.99 per pound Limit, 6 pounds member price
C
with coupon plus signature select 80% lean
F
ground beef sold in 3 pound twin pack bricks is $4.99 per pound limit, one member price with coupon Fresh and delicious savings for every meal. Hurry in. This deal won't Last.
A
Last.
F
Visit safewayeralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save the bird show.
C
Okay, so here I have all of our questions. We have submitted them anonymously. And it's tricky writing these kind of squirmy kind of questions because you don't want to write one that you might have to answer yourself on the air.
E
Right. So you want to make everybody else uncomfortable, but knowing you have to answer it. Yeah, it's a. There's a. There's a balance there.
C
We haven't seen each other's questions.
D
Don't know what's coming. We just are going around the room. Right?
C
We're going around the room and we're gonna change things a little bit this time in that you're not allowed to give an explanation today on your answer. That comes in 24 hours.
E
Okay.
D
Right.
C
So, for instance, like Jen, the last time we did this, got the question,
D
which it was, who on the show do you like the least? And I had to answer that honestly and I gave an explanation for what my answer was.
C
Right. She said Jeff, but then she gave an explanation. So today she would have to say Jeff and then wait 24 hours to give her definition of why.
D
And my explanation was that you just hate him. Jeff is my friend that is the most brutally honest with me. So sometimes I don't like that. But it's probably. He's probably the best friend on the
B
show because he's that way.
C
And I love you.
F
If you stop being an idiot, I wouldn't have to be so happy.
D
I love you, but I like you the least.
C
When do you. We will go around the room and we'll start with you first today.
D
Awesome.
F
And are we doing the thing where we all. The last question we all have to answer, no matter what, it is true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Great on here, Jen.
F
Yeah, yeah. Super squirm.
C
Super squirm.
D
That sounds like a dance or a move.
C
Wendy, are you the smartest member of the Burt show?
E
No.
F
Explain that.
D
I can't.
C
Yeah. Whoever wrote this should have put are you the smartest member of the Burt show? If not, who is? But I Think I wrote that one.
E
I was gonna say. Were you looking at me?
D
I didn't. I mean, I can answer the follow up.
C
No, no follow up.
E
Tomorrow.
F
You're not even allowed to talk until 10am on the air.
E
We are on the air.
D
We have to explain that.
C
Yeah, whenever we're sharing stuff on the air that would be good content. We stop each other in mid sentence and we say on the air. Save it for on the air.
E
So our reaction is auth.
D
We do it in the hallway, in the studio, when the commercials are playing,
C
whatever, on the phone telling the story on the air. I know. Melissa, yes or no, you sent a graphic sexual text or photo within the past three months?
E
No.
C
You want to explain why not?
F
Do you want to think about that?
E
Melissa, there's no on the air Thursday.
C
On the air.
B
In the air.
F
Jen,
C
What is your most embarrassing moment as a kid?
D
As a kid.
B
Most embarrassing moment on the air. We are.
D
This is one of those you have to have time to prepare for.
C
Well, that's why you're part of a live morning show.
E
Talent who's the most condescending on the show?
F
Who's turned into an a hole since
B
the beginning of this dance?
D
I remember one, I mean, I can say this was in the eighth grade. And there was a boy that I liked. His name was Brian. I can't remember his last name right now, but I can remember exactly what the kid looked like. And I remember like wanting to go to a dance with him, but he told all of his friends he wouldn't take me to the dance because I was prude and was like making fun of me about it. And I had no idea what that meant.
F
Well, you've shown him as a grown up, haven't you?
D
I had no idea what that meant. And I was so embarrassed. I remember going to the bathroom and crying because I knew it was bad, but I didn't know what it meant. And I was so embarrassed that he was calling me that. And I had to go home and I asked my mom, I was like, what does that mean?
E
And she's like, thank God.
F
I'll tell you what it means. It means you're a very good girl.
D
It's really, really embarrassing though. Cause I'm an ugly crier. And I cried so hard at school that day that my face was all blotchy and red and, you know, eyes were bloodshot or whatever because I had no idea what that meant. And then I didn't like him anymore.
C
Of course you didn't.
D
Why would you? But I Liked him for a couple of months. He was like the check yes, in the do you like me or not? Box.
C
And now looking back, you realize how wrong he was. Obviously.
D
Don't call me prude.
E
Say that.
C
Jeff, have you ever come close to cheating on the person you're with now?
E
Damn.
D
Oh, ouch.
F
No.
D
You want to explain that?
C
Which friend of yours has qualities that you're most jealous of? And what are they? I think I talked about these a couple of days ago. Dolvet. I mean, when that dude, he's just, he's so good looking, he walks into the room, the whole damn room stops, Stops. He's attention grabber just from his looks. And he's just got sort of this big personality that everybody's drawn towards. I'm jealous of that bastard. Wendy, you want to explain it?
E
But you explained it. Yeah, wait a second.
B
There was an explanation.
C
It asked me, it said why?
D
Okay, everybody talk at once.
F
We're all gonna talk right now. At the same time. Every one of us is just gonna say something right now.
C
Why would it be any different than any other day? Wendy, have you ever slept with a married person?
B
No.
F
Has a married person ever slept with you?
D
No follow ups, no explanations.
C
Melissa, where and when is the last time you had sex? Outdoors.
B
That's a funny one.
E
You said sex.
B
What?
E
Hmm, let me think. Katie's probably screaming at the phone, at the radio right now.
D
Was it her on the air?
E
The only person I've had sex with is Katie.
F
J, that's the right answer.
D
There's no explanations.
E
Last time we were outside
F
your mom's backyard maybe.
E
Oh God, I don't remember. Isn't that terrible? I don't mean to be taking so long.
D
I know.
F
Is there like a parking lot somewhere?
E
Well, I was trying to think if we were outside, I mean, it's like we were outside. It would have to be a dumpster. Maybe that's it. Yeah, that's right. I mean it would have to be Walmart parking lot. It would have to be in the car somewhere. But I thought like us like out in the park or something, I don't know.
C
You can't remember?
E
You know what, Follow up with me tomorrow and it'll make sure it happened this afternoon.
F
You know, I bet we could follow up with you in about three and a half minutes and you'll know the answer.
E
You, right now. I'm sorry. Yeah, exactly.
C
Jen, out of 10, how many shows are you annoyed by a coworker?
D
Out of 10?
F
That is a good question.
D
Out of 10. Shows. I'm trying to be honest.
C
And there's no explanation. You just got to throw the number out there.
D
Out of 10, I'd probably go with five.
C
So half of the shows we do, you're annoyed by at least one person
D
on the show at some point during the show.
E
Yeah. Such a prude.
C
Make it six. Jeff, have you ever told your significant other that they looked good in something when they didn't and went out anyways?
F
No, I have not.
D
No explanation on the air.
F
That wasn't an explanation.
B
I know.
C
Why do you think Wendy and Jen are still single?
F
Great prudes.
C
I just haven't found the right dude yet.
F
Or maybe the right dude hasn't found them.
C
Yeah, I just think that's it. Are they looking for anything like. Yeah, I just don't think the right guys come along yet. I don't want to end on that note. It's too easy.
F
That was probably Wendy who submitted that question going, God, I really would love
E
to this next one be one that we all answer to end it.
C
What'd you say it was called?
F
The squirmy round.
C
Squirmy round.
F
Super squirm.
E
Super squirm.
F
Time for the super squirm.
C
Oh, good one for the last one. Wendy, if you were going to step into a therapist's office today, what would the first issue be you try to fix about yourself?
B
Oh, this is a good question.
D
That's a good question.
C
This one's gonna be easier for me to answer because I was just there yesterday.
F
Hmm.
D
I would fix about myself.
C
Well written. Whoever wrote this. Oh, it was me.
D
Good question.
E
Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? No, dude.
D
Bert's would be his ear, right?
F
Really? Because mine would be Bert's ego also.
C
Wow. For you, coming from you,
E
I would
A
say my lack of confidence.
E
She said confidently, Melissa, I probably would try to wrestle with the issues of parenthood, like, because I really am still not confident that I'll.
B
No explanation.
D
God, Melissa, explain it tomorrow.
F
Maybe you should talk to your therapist about talking too much on the air.
E
10 out of 10.
C
Jen, the last time you were in your therapist's office, what was the last time? What issue were you working on?
D
That's not the question, Bert. The question is, what would it be today, right?
C
Yes.
D
Or next Monday when I go in.
C
What would the first issue be you try to fix about yourself?
D
The first issue today, I think it would be. I'm trying to figure out how to. I know what it is. I'm trying to figure out how to define it clearly. The Struggle between. Decisions to be made, between having a life of career focus or family focus. That Little Orphan Annie tug of war that goes on in my head.
F
Okay, Jeff, I would like to find
C
out this is such a far fetched idea for you that you would need help. Help in any area of your life. This is gonna be a real stretch.
F
I really was struggling, but then I came to one because I thought Jen was gonna steal mine, so I had to think of another one. But my other one's better. I would like to know why I always feel like I have to be working.
C
Why you always have to be working?
F
Yep.
B
Okay.
C
And mine would be intimacy issues. So I'm going for now. It's like I don't let anybody get too close. Like I sort of keep people at arm's length. And I'll talk about that again next Tuesday with my therapist. The squirmy round was fun, but I
E
can answer that question. I'm in trouble when I get home.
D
I'm.
C
Yeah, you probably are. You better have an explanation tomorrow.
E
Have my phone with me.
F
Get it.
C
The bird show.
A
Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off as a holder, a different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the WeGovy pill and the WeGovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.comb for hers.com Bert Weightlifts by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go via registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A/S to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borhearst.com Happy birthday, America.
B
It's time to celebrate and play your favorite Las Vegas Casino games by American
F
owned spinquest.com what's better than fireworks and American pie?
B
Hitting a blackjack in the palm of
C
your hand and you won't lose your fingers.
B
Over a thousand games, including slots and
F
live dealers and 30 coin packs are
B
on sale for 10 spinquest.com buy American players.
C
For American players, Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. I'm Jake Stauch, co founder and CEO of Cervel. We built Servl to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding password resets, access to applications. My laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. It desperately wants to automate this work and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go
B
from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters.
C
With Cerval, it becomes the AI engine powering the entire company.
B
This is a new way to run it.
C
We guarantee you'll automate 50% of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four week pilot. Go to cerval.com tickets that's S E-R-V-A-L.com tickets. You're on the bird show. All right, I'm gonna play some audio for you guys. You tell me what these women are so excited about, okay?
B
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
F
I think they're having sex. Wow.
B
Oh, my God. Thank you. Oh, thank you, thank you.
C
She's in tears right now.
B
I don't even know who it was yet.
C
Oh, my God.
B
Oh, I love you. Thank you. Oh, my God.
F
Whoa.
B
You hear that, ladies? Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
C
Hi, Wendy. What do you think that woman is so thankful for and emotional and crying about?
B
Taylor Lautner just walked in the room.
F
Shirt on or shirt off?
E
Shirt off.
A
Of course.
C
Melissa. What's she excited about?
E
Somehow she's able to communicate or see a loved one who's been overseas. Like a military thing.
D
Oh, that's a good one.
C
Chen.
D
Yeah, I was gonna say like a superstar or a fan or something.
C
Like she's meeting like a Taylor Lautner.
D
Yeah, she's like a fan of somebody.
C
He might have surprised her. Walked in the room and surprised her.
D
Yeah.
F
Jeff, I think she got a retweet on Twitter from me.
C
Yes, you would.
B
Of course.
C
And Bert, this is from the same website. Holy different woman.
B
I don't even know if I can say that. Here I am now in the hall of fame. I am just speechless. This is so ridiculous.
A
I don't even know what to say, to be honest.
B
This is just ridiculous. I am shaking so bad and I'm so incredibly happy. And what thanks is ever really enough? Can you just say thank you and that'd be good? Oh, dear God. I don't even know what to say, Wendy.
C
What's she also excited about?
A
She got a gift of some magnitude, but I'm really thinking it's Kevin the fire breathing goat.
C
These are all from the same website, by the way. These are all from the exact same website.
E
Yeah. I don't know if it's the military thing more. I'm thinking that she has been awarded, like, a new home. Like, she's somebody who's been suffering through the recession. She got a new home.
C
Chin.
D
I am going with. She's been, like, approved for adopting a baby.
C
Cool.
D
Here we go.
C
Wendy, you want to go get Jeff?
F
I wished her a happy birthday on Facebook.
D
Okay.
C
Same website.
B
I don't think I could ever give back what you've given me. To each and every one of you.
D
You truly made my dream come true. Oh, I know what it is,
F
like a swift kick in the ass.
D
I know I'm crying and I know
B
I'm gonna have a headache from all the crying.
C
Okay. All these women are very, very thankful and crying and emotional about it. Tracy, how come?
B
Well, I wanted to say it was very strange reactions to getting engaged.
C
Getting engaged. Very good answer. Not the right one.
B
Well, so now that I heard the last one, though, I'm thinking something related to, like, auditioning for American Idol or something.
C
Good, too.
D
That's good.
C
Here's Chris. Good morning, Chris. Here on Q100. What are all those women so excited about?
B
I don't know. My guy friends sound like that during Lost. So I was like, it was a Lost.
C
They're all so thankful. The new season of Lost is around. All right, let me play one last one for you. This may give it away.
B
This is not me. This can't be happening to me again. I hope this is not a cruel joke.
D
Got it.
B
I did it. Oh, my God. I just almost got $3,000 and donations. Six, six, seven, six, seven donations. That got me in there.
F
Oh, my God.
B
Thank you.
E
I don't have to be in pain anymore.
D
I don't have to be uneven. I got it.
A
I got it.
B
I know it. I know it.
D
I know It. She confirms it.
E
We are so competitive in here.
F
Oh, my God. Okay, we heard you say it earlier.
E
Jen got it.
B
Oh, my God.
C
Jeff, what's your guess?
F
I think it's women who've gotten breast enhancement surgery.
C
You're absolutely right.
B
Jeff got it. Jeff got it.
F
Thanks, Melissa.
B
Jeff, you were brilliant. Good job.
F
It just came to me like the women were thankful because they're on that website where people give money, right? They give them money. They give them what? Yeah, boobs. That's what I said, Jen. They give them the money to get boobs and breast augmentation.
C
There's a website that we've talked about before called My free implants.
D
Yes.
C
And all of those women at one point or another have had men that have donated money.
E
I like my new implants.
B
I really thought it was Farmville at
D
the end because she goes, $3,000.
C
No, these are all implants.
B
Oh, really? Come on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
A
Wow.
B
Oh, my God. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I don't even know who it was yet.
C
Oh, my God.
B
Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God. Whoa. You hear that, ladies? Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
C
Yours were so much sweeter, Melissa.
E
I like my answers better. God, that's so ridiculous to me.
C
My free implants. All those women got up to $3,000 of donations from dudes they don't even know that have gone and said, hey, yeah, sure, I'll hook you up. No problem.
D
Creepy.
C
Did we have the. The founder of that site up on. On one day?
F
We had him on with us?
C
I think we did, yeah. And most women that called up that said that they were on the site were really happy that they went on.
F
I remember correctly, right?
E
They sound really, really happy. I'm crying over it.
C
Listen, it's the vert show.
F
Oh, I have had no luck lately. Wait, lady luck Britzky.
A
I got you.
B
I've had so much luck on spinquest.com they have all of my favorite games, slot games, live blackjack, craps, and bubble craps. You can even get a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks. 10 bucks for 30.
F
I'm headed over to spinquest.com right now.
C
Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.
Date: June 18, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, other regulars
Episode Theme: Real Talk, Laughs, and Listener Drama – From bedroom advice and teacher frustrations to squirm-inducing personal questions, the Bert Show delivers its signature blend of honesty, humor, and authentic life moments.
This episode is peak Bert Show: candid listener calls, hilarious cast debates, listener voicemails, and a signature segment of uncomfortably honest questions among the crew. From navigating relationships and coaching in intimacy, to teacher venting and a surprisingly emotional conversation about a “psychic” cat, the episode is a blend of comic relief, real talk, and community feeling.
[01:24–16:14]
[18:20–22:36]
[22:54–29:20]
[31:28–42:51]
[45:03–51:24]
Genuine, unscripted, and filled with wit—the cast moves seamlessly between debunking myths, self-deprecation, sincere advice, and playful ribbing. Listener stories are treated with both empathy and humor, making everyone feel part of “the Bert Show world.”
This episode is classic Bert Show: real people, real problems, and plenty of laughs. It addresses everything from the awkward realities of romance and the unsung stresses of teaching, to the oddities of animal intuition, all wrapped in an atmosphere of camaraderie and candid vulnerability.