Full Show PT 3: Thursday, March 5 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, March 5 [Vault]

Date: March 5, 2026
Hosts: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)

Episode Overview

This episode delivers the Bert Show’s signature blend of authentic humor, candid discussion, and listener participation. The main focus is on relationship deal-breakers—those surprising, awkward, or shocking moments when someone reveals a personal quirk or habit that instantly changes the course of a budding romance. The segment features jaw-dropping caller stories, quick-witted banter among the hosts, and a lighthearted interview with Fall Out Boy as they embark on a Guinness World Record attempt.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. “Deal Breakers” - Relationship Red Flags Exposed

[00:59 – 14:27]

Overview:
Listeners call in with true stories about the exact moment a seemingly-ideal relationship unraveled due to an unexpected, offbeat, or uncomfortable personal revelation from their partner.

Notable Discussion Points:

• Setting the Tone:
  Bert warns audience members with kids in the car that this portion is a bit more adult, joking:

  “Generally the part of the Bert Show where we just assume kids aren't listening.”
  — Bert, [00:59]

• Host Jen’s Story (36-year-old Thumb-Sucker):
  Jen recounts a friend’s experience with a “perfect” man who revealed five months into dating that he sucks his thumb and sleeps with a blankie:

  “You know, mind you, this man is 36 years old... Until he says, ‘I suck my thumb and I sleep with a blankie.’”
  — Jen, [03:05]
  Reaction:
  “Lucky, lucky ladies of Atlanta. And you say there are no good men in Atlanta.”
  — Bert, [03:32]

Caller Deal Breakers

• Stephanie – The Nose-Licker
  A charming early-20s romance ends abruptly when the man suddenly puts his tongue up Stephanie’s nose during their first intimate interaction:

  “All of the sudden, he slips his tongue up my nose.”
  — Stephanie, [05:15]
  Reacting:
  “Generally speaking, any sexual maneu that starts with a warning or a nose is not going to be good.”
  — Co-host, [05:19]

• Pam – The Little Engine That Could
  During their first night together, Pam’s date repeatedly chants, “I think I can, I think I can,” speeding up to “choo choo” at the end:

  “In process, he started going, ‘I think I can, I think I can’... and for his wrap up, he had to go ‘choo choo.’”
  — Pam, [08:25]
  Hosts joke:
  “He was the little engine that could.”
  — Co-host, [08:28]
  “In my group of friends, he would be known as the conductor.”
  — Jen, [09:41]

• April – The Undisclosed Disability
  April shares the story of a friend who learned on her wedding night—after a year of dating and no intimacy—that her new husband’s genitals were partially removed in an accident and he could not perform sexually:

  “He tells her that his man thing doesn’t work and that he was in a bad accident... so they can’t, you know, they can’t do that.”
  — April, [11:00]
  Host comment:
  “I still think you need full disclosure before you get married about something like that.”
  — Bert, [11:43]

• Tisha – The Wiper
  Tisha recalls dating a man for two months, only to discover a bizarre preference: he wanted to wipe her after she used the restroom, in a way that made her deeply uncomfortable:

  “He wanted to assist me like one would assist a child... He wanted to wipe me.”
  — Tisha, [12:14]
  On her reaction:
  “I put my shoes on and I was out of there.”
  — Tisha, [13:27]
  Co-hosts react:
  “If you find yourself in a relationship like that, you’re obligated to stay with him, to remove him from the dating pool for other people.”
  — Co-host, [14:20]

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2. Interview: Fall Out Boy’s Guinness World Record Attempt

[15:49 – 23:58]

Overview:
The Bert Show interviews Fall Out Boy at the start of their effort to break the Guinness World Record for most radio interviews in 24 hours. The energy is playful and supportive, with band members and hosts riffing on awkward industry moments, silly Guinness records, and the mechanics of the attempt.

Key Points:

• Setting the Stage:

  “We got to be conscientious of two things before we get them on... how long do we have with you?”
  — Bert, [16:07]
  Fall Out Boy confirms they have five minutes per interview.

• Off-Limits Questions:

  “Let’s not talk about what celebrities my impending baby will be dating... just ways of Patrick you can go to town with, man.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [17:42]

• The Silliest Interview Questions:

  “So sandwiched between two questions about the election... ‘Who would you pick between Megan Fox and Jessica Alba?’”
  — Fall Out Boy, [18:36]

• How the Guinness Attempt Began:

  “We had an idea to play a show on Antarctica... but this block of interviews started out... prior to any of the Guinness stuff.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [20:24]
  “I think Guinness feels bad for us a little bit. They want to let us in the club.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [21:12]

• How a Record is Verified:

  “It has to be fully documented. There have to be at least six impartial witnesses... I mean, there are very, very strict rules.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [21:29]

• Guinness Book Trivia:
  Bert and the band chuckle over outlandish records—like “longest walk on hands, 870 miles” and “longest stilts walk, 3,008 miles."

  “Longest walk on hands? 870 miles.”
  — Bert, [22:43]
  “What? Seriously?... That was the dude on the cover right? And everybody knew that guy.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [22:46]

• Signoff:

  “Thank you very much for popping our cherry.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [23:28]
  “Here’s the new song from Fall Out Boy! When is the album coming out?”
  — Bert, [23:37]
  “December 16th. Well, yeah, do check it out. I promise you that. You may be disappointed, but you should check it out anyway.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [23:44-23:47]

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the “Little Engine that Could”:

  “Did you start chanting, ‘I know I can’t. I know I can’t...’”
  — Co-host, [08:48]

• On Relationship Disclosures:

  “I still think you need full disclosure before you get married about something like that.”
  — Bert, [11:43]

• Guinness Record Talk:

  “We may end up being the Barry Bonds of Guinness.”
  — Fall Out Boy, [21:12]

• On Bizarre Guinness Records:

  “Longest stilts walk. 3,008 miles.”
  — Bert, [23:01]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------| | 00:59 | Deal-breaker intro / “kids not listening” warning | | 01:31 | Jen’s jaw-dropping thumb-sucker story | | 04:19 | Stephanie: “Nose-Licker” story | | 07:07 | Pam: “I think I can... choo choo” guy | | 10:03 | April: Husband’s undisclosed disability | | 12:05 | Tisha: The “Wiper” | | 15:49 | Fall Out Boy Interview Begins | | 21:29 | How Guinness verifies records | | 22:43 | Hosts & FOB trade silly Guinness record trivia | | 23:37 | Interview wrap-up / Album plug |

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Tone & Style

Lively, irreverent, and unfiltered—this episode perfectly showcases the Bert Show’s fun, open, and deeply human approach. The team handles both the absurd and the awkward with empathy and relentless humor. The episode’s mix of listener stories and celebrity interviews keeps things energetic and unexpected.

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Useful for New Listeners

• Get a feel for the Bert Show’s candid, listener-driven format
• Hear bizarre, laugh-out-loud true stories about dating deal-breakers
• Enjoy spontaneous celebrity banter with Fall Out Boy, including behind-the-scenes looks at Guinness World Record attempts and radio interviews
• Prepare for frank vocabulary and adult themes (listener discretion advised during the first main segment!)

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Transcript

[A]

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The Bird Show. All right, so I have a six year old and I know if I was cruising around in my car right now with my 6 year old and I was listening to the Birch show, I would know that some of the phone calls we're about to take, I would not want him to hear. Okay, and this is generally the part of the Burt show where we just assume kids aren't listening.

[A]

Yeah, we try to reserve the more adult material until after.

[B]

Now, I wouldn't say are, but I wouldn't say PG 13. It's somewhere between PG 13 and something more than that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Plus, so Jen told us a story earlier this morning that had all of us, our jaws dropped. Yes, dropped.

[A]

Told them about a girlfriend I was talking to.

[B]

Can I say it one more time to emphasize dropped? It's three times. I was just emphasizing how shocking it was.

[A]

Melissa couldn't stop saying, wow. I know. I was grinning like, this is funny. So a friend of mine told me the story that she had been dating this guy about five months, thought he was amazing. They were really smitten with each other. Very successful guy. Traveled a lot for sales, so was on the road a lot, but did very well. I mean, made presentations in front of hundreds of people. I mean, this is a very successful businessman, you know, owned his own beautiful home, drove a luxury vehicle. I mean, really had it together. Right. And they enjoyed hanging out with each other. Very athletic, did lots of outdoorsy things together. Everything was going great until one night they had dinner at his house and she was gonna stay over and spend the night. It's about five months in. And you know, mind you, this man is 36 years old and she's already told her family she just adores him. He's Great. This is awesome guy. Finally she's found this prince charming. Until he says, I really want you to know me, you know, inside and out. I really want to be able to be honest with you. That's never a good. And so I really need to tell you something. Nothing good ever comes out of somebody saying, you know what? I need to be honest with you.

[B]

Right? Because she was probably bracing for I'm married, I have to tell you I'm married or something. So she was already like, what could you do?

[A]

She was like, you know, she was like, what? What is it? What could it be? It's fine, you know, just, you know, tell me whatever. When he. I suck my thumb and I sleep with a blankie.

[B]

36 year old man, 36 years old. And

[A]

she was absolutely speechless. She had no idea what to say. And then. Wow. And then he showed her the one.

[B]

Our jaws dropped again.

[A]

Showed her his woobie, showed her the blankie. And he had some name for it, which I'm not gonna say because it might reveal who it is. And. Oh, yeah, but this is a guy who lives right here. And. And he was a deal breaker. Lucky lady.

[B]

Lucky, lucky ladies of Atlanta. And you say there are no good men in Atlanta.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

He's right there waiting.

[B]

So the question we asked earlier, and we took a whole bunch of calls on this, but we had to put four on hold until 8:30, was what was the deal breaker? I mean, everything was going great, and then you finally got to that point in the relationship where you were just comfortable enough revealing exactly who you are. And when he or she did that, you. You put the brakes on and said, oh, no, I can't live with that. So I'm gonna save Tisha for our last call. I'll take three before that. But Tisha's is just gonna. It's gonna make you stare at your radios and go, good God, she can't. This can't be true. It can't be. Because it may be the most shocking call we've ever taken. But I will start with Stephanie. Good morning, Stephanie.

[C]

Good morning.

[B]

All right. The deal breaker in your relationship. First of all, how long were you guys going out for?

[C]

Okay. We were probably going out about three months before this happened.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. Well, you know, we really had never done anything. I was probably about 19. He was the sweetest guy. He was so cute. He was smart, he had a great job. So we go out on this really nice date and we go back over to his apartment and we're, you know, starting to Kiss and stuff like that. And I'm thinking, okay, you know, this might be it. And he's sitting there, he starts giggling, and I'm like, okay, is there a problem? What's going on? And he said, you know, I've got this little thing I like to do. And immediately it scared me. I have to be honest. I was like, oh, my gosh, what is he gonna do to me? All of the sudden, he slips his tongue up my nose.

[D]

What?

[C]

It was.

[D]

Generally speaking, any sexual maneu that starts

[B]

with a warning or a nose is

[D]

not going to be good. Is not gonna be good for one person. I've got.

[A]

That makes me wanna rub my nose right now.

[C]

That was it. I was done. I was out of there.

[B]

Now, here's the funny part about this that women don't know is that, you know, guys will share their moves as though it's worked on so many different women before that they'll share it with other guys. So this guy is telling a whole bunch of other dudes, look, I gotta tell you guys what really works when you stick your tongue up a woman's nose?

[D]

Shit.

[B]

No way.

[D]

No way, dude. No, he's not.

[B]

You're wrong.

[D]

Let me ask you a question. If you're hanging out at the gym, right? Yeah. And you say, you know, whatever, to whoever's working out next to you, right?

[B]

You know, whatever.

[D]

Talk, talk, talk. And then all of a sudden, one of the guys goes, hey, I gotta move for you. Next time you're with your woman and says that, you laugh in his face.

[B]

Dude, I've been with the same woman for 14 years. I might just go, I'll give.

[C]

That's something you would want to tell someone.

[D]

He doesn't tell anyone.

[A]

What if you have a cold or your nose is running? That is just disgusting.

[D]

He knows it's weird because he warned her.

[A]

I mean, what if there's stuff up there? I mean, you're licking all that stuff.

[C]

I have a real pretty nose. Evidently.

[B]

Did you let him try it at least once or did you just go, get away from me.

[C]

Oh, no. I was out of there. I was gone.

[B]

That was that.

[C]

I got up, we were done.

[D]

Is that one of those Neti pot things or whatever? A nettie tongue.

[B]

A Nettie tongue.

[A]

That would be his alter ego.

[C]

Women love it. They love it.

[B]

All right. That's the least strange of the ones we're gonna take. Okay, now we just have to be. Pam, we gotta be really careful here because we just gotta be really careful with the act that you're Gonna describe. Just give us sort of the tamed

[A]

down version, generic as you can be.

[B]

Okay, Pam.

[D]

Oh, we just totally good warning with Pam.

[B]

I can't hear.

[C]

Oh, I'm here.

[B]

There you go. You're just not talking very loud.

[C]

Sorry. So there was this guy, I worked with him. We got to know each other, had lunch. We finally had a proper date. Everything went great. So this is maybe if you count the time that we spent talking at work and hanging out a few months in. So the first time that I was going to spend the entire evening at his place, mine didn't come with a warning. But during the later portion of the night, in process, he started going, I think I can. I think I can. And it proceeded to get faster and faster and faster. And for his wrap up, he had to go choo choo.

[B]

No, no.

[D]

Here's the little. He was the little engine that could.

[B]

No, he didn't like.

[A]

Was he being for real?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I could just see your eyes. I could just see sort of your eyes getting as wide as they could while he was doing that.

[C]

Then take your head.

[D]

Did you start chanting, I know I can't. I know I can't. I know I can't.

[B]

I know you won't. I know you won't. I know you won't. So did you sleep with him one time and that was it?

[C]

Oh, that was it. Because afterwards I asked him if he always did that and he said that that was the only way he could make things work.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, my God. Therapy.

[C]

And I worked with him after that.

[B]

Oh, no. That's right. Did you tell anybody else in the office that story?

[A]

Of course you did.

[C]

Anybody in the office the story. But any of my girlfriends who are listening know exactly who I am.

[D]

You know what?

[A]

That's fine. Did you name him?

[D]

That's gonna be a tough thing to overcome at the office because he's gonna come and hand you a folder or something and say, hey, do you think you can call these people? And you're gonna say, I think I can.

[A]

See, in my group of friends, he would be known as the conductor.

[C]

Like from.

[A]

Yeah, conductor dude.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How many couples tonight, as a joke, are gonna do that very same thing?

[B]

Okay, April, same warning with you. Please try to be as delicate as you can. I mean, we got a little bit more wiggle room after 8:30. Just be a little careful, okay?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

[C]

All right, here's the deal breaker. It didn't happen to me, but it happened to one of my mother's friends about 10 years ago. And I will never forget it because it scarred me. She had. We were all in the same congregation. She had just moved to the congregation. And she was a really pretty lady. She met a guy. He was a very good looking guy. Had his own business. And all the sisters in the congregation wanted to talk to him, but he wanted to date her. So they dated for about a year, but he. You know, he always told her, we got to keep this relationship cleaned. And he finally proposed to her, but they had never been intimate with each other. So after he marries her, on their wedding day, he tells her that his man thing doesn't work and that he was in a bad accident and that so they can't. You know, they can't do that. And also, he had, like, a little attachment that he had to keep on him so that he could use the bathroom.

[B]

What do you mean, didn't work?

[D]

It wouldn't work.

[C]

It wouldn't work. It was, like, partially removed. It wouldn't work. He couldn't get aroused, so he had a.

[B]

Partially removed. Yeah, you could say penis.

[C]

Penis.

[B]

Penis. And she didn't find that out until after the wedding?

[C]

After. Yeah, on the honeymoon, she came back. She was devastated.

[A]

Didn't want to tell her.

[B]

Of course he didn't.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's just sad.

[B]

How did he get the partial penis?

[C]

He wasn't. He was in a bad accident. I can't remember. I called my mom this morning. I can't remember if it was in the military or what, but he was in a horrible accident.

[D]

Just for the record, any accident involving your penis is a bad accident. Yes. Yes.

[B]

Especially in a case like that one. Sad.

[A]

That's sad.

[B]

I still think you need full disclosure before you get married about something like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not fair that he didn't tell her that.

[B]

All right, here is your closer. You thought what you just heard was freaky, right?

[C]

Right.

[B]

Hold on here.

[A]

I think I can.

[B]

How you gonna beat the conductor?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

All right, Tisha. And again, I gotta ask you, just be as careful as you can about it. This is the deal breaker. How long were you guys going out for?

[C]

We probably dated for about two months. And we had just kind of come to the point in our relationship where we were intimate. Mm. And so I didn't. You know, I thought he was a nice guy. I mean, I'm a nice. I'm a really nice person. I'm fairly modest, so you can understand the problem. What he wanted to do when I went into the restroom, he wanted. This is the g Version. He wanted to assist me like one would assist a child. Or I'll say the W word. He wanted to wipe me. What? Oh, it was awful. So that was a deal breaker, of course.

[B]

So he says to you, look, I've got this thing. And it was a sexual thing for him.

[C]

I don't know if it was an intimate kind of thing. I don't know what it was. We didn't stand. I didn't want to talk about it. I was like, bye, dude. I'm out of here.

[B]

Now, what would you call this guy in your group?

[D]

Jack? Oh, my God, Mr. Clean.

[C]

I mean, can you imagine? I mean, what do you say?

[A]

What did you say the first time?

[C]

You know, what can you say? I mean, you know, he probably heard me. Yeah, I put my shoes on and I was out of there.

[D]

Grabbed my purse.

[C]

See ya. And we ran into each other maybe a year later, but I don't think I dated anybody for probably a year and a half.

[B]

Yeah, that was scarred you pretty well.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I just. I just thought, you know what?

[D]

I'm done.

[C]

I gotta give myself a break.

[B]

And he was referring to. He was referring to everything that can be done down there.

[C]

No, I think he was referring to like a little pop in kind of thing. I don't even want to get into, you know, something more sophisticated.

[A]

I cannot imagine that.

[D]

Thank you. I know.

[C]

And he was like a nice guy. I mean, I'm telling you, you have to be so careful.

[A]

He's being polite.

[B]

He just had this. This was his thing. He just wanted to wipe you.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I think if you find yourself in a relationship like that, you're obligated to stay with him, to remove him from the dating pool for other people.

[B]

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[B]

Try not to love this song. There is a lot of pressure on us this morning as the first morning show that Fall Out Boy is going to talk to in their attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Worlds records. We got to be conscientious of two things before we get them on. Okay. First, I think we got to ask them right off the bat, how long do we have with you?

[D]

Right.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because if they're doing 57 interviews, this may be six seconds long.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And we're wordy, and we're very wordy.

[A]

We know this.

[B]

I think I've already proven that since the mics have been on. And the second thing is, I mean, we are going to set the tone for the rest of the industry.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So if we say something to offend these guys right off the bat, they're gonna hate their next 24 hours. And they will, no doubt, over the next 24, run into a whole bunch of DJs. Because we know our industry is filled with tools that will ask an offensive question and it will. It will ruin their next half an hour. We don't want to be that morning.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Right. So the pressure is a little bit on us. Start. Start it off on a good foot. Hey, guys, what's up?

[D]

Hey, what's up?

[B]

How are you guys doing today? It's three in the morning for you, isn't it?

[D]

Yeah. We are sprite. We are all just lively, right? Spritely. I'm feeling like Coke. And to answer your first question, we have to have five minutes, apparently.

[B]

Five minutes. Five minutes and we're out. Okay, here is my intention with the five.

[D]

That's what she said, but it's like for real.

[B]

She can ask for whatever she wants. Who knows what we will get. Here's our intention with this next five minutes is we really feel sort of the pressure to make sure that your first interview in this whole Guinness Book of Worlds records things is good. Because if we anger you guys, that will jack you up for the rest of the day. So we want to know specifically, in order to keep you in the good mood for the rest of the industry, what topics are okay for us to talk about and which ones do you totally want to stay away from?

[D]

You know, you can pretty much talk about anything. Let's not talk about like what celebrities my. My impending baby will be dating set me off a little bit.

[B]

Okay, that's obviously people. You're getting that one too much, huh?

[D]

You know, it's a little wild. Yeah, it's like, I mean like you can kind of like put your own spin on each of those and they're like all bad. Well, that's what I was going to say is that there's really not an. There's really not a topic that's off limits. But there's like you know, just ways of Patrick you can go to town with, man. I'll after anything, man. Ask him anything. He's like my easy Biden dude. He'll answer anything. What's the most ridiculous question you've ever been asked in your, you know, history of doing radio interviews? Okay, so the other day, you know, you know how the record was originally supposed to come out on November 4, which is election day, obviously, and then now it's gonna be on December 16th.

[A]

Right.

[D]

One of the reasons it changed is because of this question. So sandwiched between two questions about the election, it was like, you know, what's the importance of young voters getting out there and voting? Who would you pick between Megan Fox and Jessica Alba? Right? And I was like, dude, come on, man. Like seriously, like that's like, that was kind of a serious question into that. I don't know. So I most insane one was, I believe it was an Australian interview and they asked something about what it would be like or to make sure that I slapped my sister in law's. Whatever.

[A]

Are you kidding?

[B]

Really?

[D]

Next time I saw her, I hung up the phone on him.

[B]

See, that's kind of like, I mean, our industry is filled with guys. Like my theory has always been like radio guys for the most part are people that never got any kind of attention in high school or college or anything like that. So they finally have a forum where they're in front of a mic, but they're just kind of like dorks and they just really don't know how to handle themselves very well.

[D]

You know, it's always easy to be mean when you have like something with you. You know, when you have a microphone or you have like a computer in front of you, you know, you can like, yeah, if you have that separation, it's easier to be mean. But at the same time, I don't want anyone to think that we have it bad. We're really, you know, it's not like I'm. Now we got a pad. Oh, poor rockstar I got a hobo bag.

[B]

How did the whole concept for this, this getting into the Guinness Book of World's Records even happen? Because Jen here has a theory that you guys were just partying and, like, 2:33 in the morning, somebody said, you know what, guys? I got an idea, bro.

[A]

We hear the guys in here talk about their crazy bets and stuff all the time. I just imagine you guys sitting on the tour bus, like, randomly brainstorming this.

[D]

Now, we had, like, an idea to play a show on Antarctica and get in the record book that way. And it kind of went back to, like, you know, being eight and reading the entire Guinness Book of World Records back to, you know, front to back. And we didn't achieve that when we sat in Chile and waited to go to Antarctica. So we realized that we were probably due this amount of. Of radio interviews. Well, that's one of the things that's funny, is that this block of interviews started out. It was booked prior to any of the Guinness stuff, like, a lot. I think Guinness feels bad for us a little bit. Yeah, they want to let us get in. You know, they want to let us in the club. But we have. We're just not that world record. We may end up being the Barry Bonds of Guinness.

[B]

Guinness is showing mercy on Fall Out Boy.

[D]

Totally.

[B]

So it's gonna be 57 interviews over the next 24 hours.

[D]

Over 57. I think we gotta beat 57. That's the number to beat.

[B]

You're gonna crush it right now.

[A]

Does a Guinness representative have to be there with you, or is it something that they will look at after the fact?

[D]

It has to be fully documented. There have to be at least six impartial witnesses. And usually there has to be an adjudicator. I don't know if there is one. Yeah, And I think. I think everything. Everyone has to sign something, and it has to be notarized. I mean, like, there are very, very strict rules, as I'm. As I'm told. Yeah, it's hard because when we were in Chile, we tried to beat a couple other records while trying to go to Antarctica. And they told us that, like, about three or four years ago, these guys came along and just beat every record you could beat. Yeah, it's impossible. Like, it was like, eat four saltines in 30 seconds or something like that. And without. Without at any point drinking water. And you had to show your mouth is clean between each cracker. Possible. And then you will literally die trying to beat that wrestler Eric. He's like, yo, I can do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And he did it in, like, 2 minutes and 40 seconds. We were like, dude, you are officially, like, not even in the metal competition.

[B]

We knew we were gonna have you on today, and it started bringing back all these memories of Guinness Book of Worlds records. So I went and I got one yesterday. And some of the records in here. I mean, you remember reading these when you were, like, 8 years old. How old?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Check this one out. Longest walk on hands.

[D]

How long is it?

[B]

870 miles.

[D]

What? Seriously? I remember the longest fingernails. I forget what it was. It was crazy. That one was crazy.

[B]

That was the dude on the COVID right? And everybody knew that guy.

[D]

His fingernails were all curled around.

[B]

Longest. Longest stilts walk. 3,008 miles.

[D]

What? 3,000 miles?

[B]

Yeah, man.

[D]

That's longer than that. I couldn't even do that in one of those. Like, what's the little, like, car where you. Or not the car, like the bike where you. Yeah, I couldn't even do that in a segue.

[B]

Well, good luck today. You guys have another, what, 60 of these things to do? So hopefully we set the tone for the rest of the day.

[D]

Are we on time, though?

[A]

We're over.

[D]

All right, we're over. That was a good first one. So thank you very much for popping our cherry.

[B]

Yeah, we told you it wasn't gonna hurt. And here's the new song from Fallout Boy. Also, when is the whole the album coming out, guys?

[D]

December 16th.

[A]

December 16th.

[B]

16th.

[D]

Well, yeah, do check it out. I promise you that. You may be disappointed, but you should check it out anyway.

[B]

A fine endorsement for Fall Out Boy. All right, you guys, good luck today.

[D]

Thanks a lot.

[B]

Get it.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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