Full Show PT 3: Thursday, November 6 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, November 6 [Vault]

Date: November 6, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting

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Episode Overview

This episode is packed with real-life confessions and funny, jaw-dropping stories about “vacationships”—flings and hookups that start (and sometimes awkwardly continue) after vacations. The hosts and listeners swap tales of vacation romances that either fizzled out harmlessly or returned to haunt them, often with hilarious or jaw-dropping consequences. The latter half of the episode follows up on a headline-making scenario: what happens when a man sleeps with his sister-in-law while his brother is out of town—a raw and messy situation unfolds, showcasing the show's love for drama, laughs, and relatable chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Vacationships”: Why Do Vacation Hookups Go Wrong? (01:31–19:21)

• Defining Vacationships:
  The cast coins the term “vacationship” for flings that occur on vacation and then, sometimes painfully, try to follow people home.

  • “Is anything gonna happen with this? … No, it was just a locationship. And I said, what about a vacation ship?” – Female Co-host (01:46)
  • “Vacation ships gone wrong… like ones that follow you home.” – Female Co-host (02:00)

• The Problems of Bringing the Vacation Home:
  Standards and expectations are different while on vacation; back in the real world, complications arise:

  • “Your standards are just different when you're on vacation… things you normally would not accept.” – Burt (02:56)

• Lying and “Beefing Up” Stories:
  The hosts joke that people often exaggerate or fib about themselves during vacationships:

  • “I think the majority, more people than not, tell little fibs.” – Male Co-host (03:31)

Listener Call-ins: Vacation Flings That Haunted

1. The Persistent Ex (Jessica/Sarah – 06:09)

   • A drunken hookup gives out her number, is tracked down in real life, and stalked.
     • “A month later, after spring break is over, he shows up at my door at college… he lived in New York and I lived in Virginia.” – Jessica/Sarah (06:54)

2. The “Haunter” (Nate/JJ – 08:18)

   • Listener admits to moving across the country for a vacation crush, only to be dumped.
     • “I became a professional stalker. I since now been reformed.” – Nate (09:04)

3. Teenage Trouble (Greg – 10:55)

   • A man unknowingly hooks up with a 15-year-old who lied about her age, leading to a comical but stressful encounter with her dad:
     • “She told me she was 19 and I was 20… it comes to find out she was 15 years old.” – Greg (11:45)

4. Green Card Marriage (Sarah – 13:34)

   • A woman marries a man she met in London; after he receives his green card, he leaves.
     • “Vacationship was a week. Relationship was less than a year.” – Sarah (14:15)
     • “As soon as he got his green card, he left.” – Sarah (13:48)

5. Digital Desperation (Amanda – 14:44)

   • A cruise ship hookup who, five years later, is still messaging her online.

6. Manipulation & Blackmail (Casey – 15:50)

   • Casey's brother-in-law is threatened with statutory rape unless he moves across the country for his young vacationship partner.
     • “She tells him that he needs to move to Green Bay, Wisconsin… if you don’t move… I’m gonna file statutory rape against you.” – Casey (16:23)

7. Letter Writing Gone Wrong (Male Co-host – 17:19)

   • The host's story of a flirtation that turned into months of romantic letters—until the pen-pal-turned-freeloader stays for two awkward weeks.

Moral of the Stories:

Most hosts agree:
“Keep the vacation ships on vacation. We have learned that today.” – Burt (17:08)

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2. Revisiting the Secret Sibling Affair (19:37–30:26)

Background Recap (Melissa, 19:37–22:11)

• Listener “JJ” slept with his sister-in-law while his brother was away.
• The sister-in-law was initially adamant about confessing, JJ debated whether he should tell his brother first.
• The anxiety caused the sister-in-law to have a panic attack and end up in the hospital.

The Latest Chapter: Will the Secret Stay Buried? (22:27–28:22)

• JJ’s Call-In Update:
  After her panic attack and soul searching, the sister-in-law chooses to keep the affair secret:

  • “She said the more she thought about it she didn’t want to ruin her marriage, she didn’t want to ruin my relationship with my brother. … She is happy going taking this to secret with her to the grave is what she told me.” – JJ (23:13)
  • “She said the only thing she wanted to do was she wanted to get past the initial stage where it would be awkward for us...” – JJ (23:29)
  • They even shared a meal with her husband present, trying to act natural.

• Burt’s Skepticism:
  Burt challenges JJ:

  • “I know there’s about half of the Bert Show community right now breathing a sigh of relief because they really think that you should have kept this secret. … I just couldn’t live with the knowledge that at any moment, this secret can come up…” – Burt (25:36)
  • JJ stands his ground: “That’s a gamble I’m willing to take.” (26:23)

• Call-In Reactions:
  A caller argues some mistakes should remain secret, while Melissa and others debate whether secrets that big ever really stay buried, and if the betrayed spouse deserves to know.

  • “The reason they don’t have to tell. One of the things is when you do something like that, your payment is the guilt that you feel.” – Caller (28:26)
  • “But when there’s no children involved and you slept with...I would want to know that.” – Melissa (30:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On vacation logic:
  “If it’s an away game and you’re on vacation, you may just go, you know what?...even though he smokes or drinks or is married, I can get past this for three days.” – Burt (02:56)

• When vacation ships become stalker ships:
  “Then they become stalker ships.” – Male Co-host (02:47)

• Listener’s green card romance:
  “I married him. And as soon as he got his green card, he left.” – Sarah (13:48)

• Practical vacation advice:
  “Keep the vacation ships on vacation. We have learned that today.” – Burt (17:08)

• Complexity of secrets:
  “I just couldn’t live with the knowledge that at any moment, this secret can come up at any single time.” – Burt (25:36) “That’s a gamble I’m willing to take… I’m taking her cue, and she’s the one who’s done a complete 180 on this, and I’m for it.” – JJ (26:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:31: Main show starts – Vacation hookup stories begin
• 06:09: First major caller: Persistent hookup disaster
• 08:18: Listener admits to being the “haunter”
• 10:55: Tale of accidental underage hookup
• 13:34: Green card marriage gone wrong
• 15:50: Cruise fling threatens legal action
• 17:19: Host’s love-letter vacation story
• 19:37: Recap and deep-dive: The sibling-in-law affair saga
• 22:27: JJ’s update: Concealing the secret
• 25:36: Burt voices unease about secret keeping
• 28:26: Callers debate: secrets vs. confessions

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, real, often self-deprecating and playful.
• Mix of personal anecdote, humor, cautionary tales, and direct listener engagement.
• The hosts don’t shy away from commenting on the ethics of each story, sometimes splitting on what the “right thing” is—always with a sense of humanity and relatability.

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Summary Takeaway

If you ever wondered if that vacation fling could end up haunting you, The Bert Show’s collection of vacation love-gone-wrong stories will have you laughing and cringing in equal measure. The episode is a smorgasbord of wild, memorable listener call-ins and personal confessions, topped off with a deep-dish serving of moral ambiguity as the cast debates secrecy, honesty, and what we owe those we love. As always, the show is unfiltered, deeply relatable, and full of laughs—even when things get unexpectedly real.

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Transcript

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[Main Host (Burt)]

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[Radio Host]

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[Co-Host (Hannah)]

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[Co-Host (Hannah)]

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[Co-Host (Jessica)]

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[Co-Host (Linda)]

Get it?

[Main Host (Burt)]

The bird show. Let's go ahead and give out the warning right now because this is the time of year where everybody's taking vacations for one, you know, @ one point or another, right? And I think when you're single and you go on vacation, like nothing makes the trip more perfect than when you hook up with somebody.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Exactly. This just happened to a friend of ours. We all went on vacation to Charleston, South Carolina for Memorial Day weekend. Friend of ours met, he's a single guy, met this really cute girl and they had what we're now coining a vacation ship where they met and hung out and then hung out again the next day and the next night. And he actually extended his vacation ship by like three days and so they could continue dating or whatever, have this little, you know, romantic love affair or whatever. And then we were, you Know, asking him and following up, like, is anything gonna happen with this? And he said, no, it was just a location ship. And I said, what about a vacation ship? And so that's what we're coining his relationship with this cute girl in Charleston Just a vacation ship. But I was wondering about vacation ships gone wrong. Like ones that follow you home.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Yeah. Because it's a completely different animal.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Then they become stalker ships.

[Co-Host (Jessica)]

Right.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

The vacation ship that turns into something else. Because maybe one person wants it more than the other one does. Like, once you come home, like, your.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Standards are just different when you're on vacation. Also, like the circumstances, things that you normally would not accept on your home base. If it's an away game and you're on vacation, you may just go, you know what? I'm only hanging out with this person for three or four days. She's so hot. Or he's so hot that even though he smokes or drinks or is married. I can get. I can get past this for three days.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Yeah, sure, three days. Intern Jennifer was just telling us about one of her friends just went on a cruise, met a guy, had a vacation ship, and now they're trying to date when they came home off the cruise.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Never works.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Keep it on the boat.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Plus, I think the majority. More people than not tell little fibs.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

When they're, you know, vacation ship is going on and, you know, like, I'm sure your buddy who was hooking up in Charleston was probably, you know, had to get back to Atlanta to study for the bar exam.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Sure.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Beefing up his job or. Yeah, exactly.

[Main Host (Burt)]

So I want to know how your vacation ship kind of haunted you when you got home. So things were great. In this case, you went to Charleston for two or three or four days. In his case, he meets this girl. She's cool enough to hook with and hang with for a couple of days, so they spend four or five great days together. Right. But let's say he comes home and he's ready to move on with his life, and she somehow, like, Googles him.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Or finds him, keeps calling, keeps calling, texting or something.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Just not into it. Like, it was fine while you guys were on vacation, but it's haunting you now that you get Back to Atlanta. 404-741-1005 I can share this story that happened a long time ago when I was in Hawaii. I went down there for my 21st birthday with two other guys, and we were all down there just doing the drinking thing, the partying thing, and my boy Johnny Hooks up with this girl from Seattle, Allison. I'll never forget her. And she was hot, she was way smoking, and she had the non smoking friend with her. But I had to be the good.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Wingman because I find that grenade.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Because if my boy is about to hook up and she won't leave her friend.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

So sometimes the grenade is a little bit chunky and has a lot of moles.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Yeah.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Hop on.

[Main Host (Burt)]

But it wasn't a one day deal because we weren't just. I mean, he was, like, really digging her. So he's having this vacation ship, and here I am hooking up with this. This girl that I have no interest in whatsoever for four days just so Johnny can get him some. But at least when the trip's over, I'm like, okay, you know, I get points for being loyal. I had your back all week. So we get back to San Diego, and I'm thinking the whole thing is over. He wants to continue this relationship with Allison, but the only way that she'll come back to San Diego she lived in Oregon, is if her friend could come also.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Oh, no.

[Main Host (Burt)]

So he asks me, dude, look, I know you jumped on the grenade for four straight days in Hawaii. You got to hook me up again. So, sure enough, I have to spend another three days with her, like every month for three or four months.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Like, this is a vacation ship.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

It's terrible.

[Main Host (Burt)]

It haunted me. Totally haunted me.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

That's funny.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Jessica, Good morning. You're on the virtual on all the hits. Q100. What's going on?

[Radio Host]

Hi, guys.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Hey.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Your VA. Your vacation ship haunts you when you got back to Atlanta?

[Radio Host]

Yes, I actually lived in Virginia at the time, though I didn't have a vacation ship. I had a drunk hookup with just a total dog ugly guy. So apparently I told him where I went to college and everything. And I had given him my number. Well, I was on spring break in Panama City, and he kept calling me, and I was like, oh, you know, his name was Spencer. And I was like, you know this. I have a boyfriend. And I did have a boyfriend at the time, too. I was like, I have a boyfriend. I really can't do this. I was drunk. Whatever. A month later, after spring break is over, he shows up at my door at college. He had looked me up on our student directory and shown up. He lived in New York and I lived in Virginia. He came all the way from New York to see me. So I ended up having to tell my boyfriend about it, and it was horrible.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Now, he never gave you any warning. He Was showing up, nothing. Just ends up knocking on the door. There he is.

[Radio Host]

Just knocked on the door. And I didn't really realize who he was at first. And my roommate was like, oh, my God, isn't that that guy from spring break? And I'm like, no, no way. And it was.

[Main Host (Burt)]

That sucks.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Oh, my God.

[Main Host (Burt)]

They're great at the time, Gary, but they can come back and totally, totally haunt you. These are vacation ships. You know, standards are just a little different when you're on vacation. They should stay on vacation.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Is there anything more awkward? And this is such a college thing, but hooking up with somebody.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Hey, Linda, hold on one sec.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Doing the hookup, like the bar hookup, not the sex hookup. Because there's different. You know, making out with somebody and then you run into them like seven days later, and it's in your mind somewhere that they vaguely look familiar, but they usually.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

You don't remember them.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

They usually remember.

[Main Host (Burt)]

They always remember.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

And they want to talk to you.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Oh, yes.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Aren't you.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

I know you. You are the waitress at the Pizza Hut on campus. No. Okay, how do I know you? Let's keep playing. Oh, you're my cousin. No. Okay, let's play again.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Linda. Good morning. You're on the Birch Show. All the hits. Q and A.

[Caller JJ]

Good morning, guys.

[Caller Rafael]

I was actually the haunch on a vacation ship when I was in high school. I was going into my senior year, and I was on vacation with my family in the Caribbean. This guy was on vacation with his family. We hooked up. Nothing major, but I ended up moving.

[Radio Host]

To where he lived.

[Caller Rafael]

I was from the northeast, he was from the southeast. Moved to where he lived, went to college there. His best friend. My best friend hooked up, was like crazy, psycho in love with him. He ended up deflowering me and basically dumped me and never saw him again.

[Main Host (Burt)]

So you specifically went to this college because he was in that town.

[Caller Rafael]

It definitely helped in making that choice. Wow.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Oh, that hurts.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

So you were. You were the haunting vacation ship.

[Caller Rafael]

I was. I was. I became a professional stalker. I since now been reformed.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Oh, that sucks. You were how old at the time when we met?

[Caller Rafael]

I was 17.

[Main Host (Burt)]

And you wouldn't leave him alone. You should have left the vacation ship at the vacation.

[Caller Rafael]

Yeah, hindsight's 20.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Yeah. How long ago was this?

[Radio Host]

Oh, this is 14.

[Caller Rafael]

No, 17 years ago.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Probably took you about 16 years before you could actually start laughing about it.

[Caller Rafael]

I actually started laughing about it once I graduated. But, like, when I moved, when I was looking for a place to live when I Was moving down.

[Radio Host]

I called him and he's like, come pick you up.

[Caller Rafael]

He left me stranded on the side of the road. And still, you know, I kept coming back more until it, you know, became very clear that he wanted nothing to do with me.

[Main Host (Burt)]

I swear, I Wish I had $500 if he called up right now just to give us his side of the whole story.

[Caller Rafael]

He knows he was evil.

[Radio Host]

But the thing, you know, it's that.

[Caller Rafael]

Those things, like girls. His friends told me, do not continue to pursue this guy. Because I became friends with his friends. I didn't know anybody in the city where he lives.

[Radio Host]

And I was like, no, you know.

[Caller Rafael]

We have a lot of common.

[Radio Host]

And then when my best friend hooked.

[Caller Rafael]

Up with his best friend, that was the ticket to, you know, keep us together, keep seeing each other. And it just, you know, just blew up in my face.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

I don't know him like, I do. I love him and he loves me.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Say that.

[Main Host (Burt)]

I think based on what we're hearing here, that your wingmanship, I mean, it has to be said that it's on vacation. And if you want to continue the vacation ship, that's fine, but you can't expect your wingman to continue that for you when you get back home. That's just unfair. Totally and completely invert.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Speaking from personal.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Totally. I'm still scarred. Gosh, it was so obnoxious. Oh, awful. Rafael, Good morning. You're on the Burt show. All the hits. Q100.

[Caller Rafael]

Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Main Host (Burt)]

What's up?

[Caller Rafael]

Well, my vacation was. It was great. It went down to the Dominican Republic, and I met this girl on the beach, and she was basically one of these. Basically kind of like a Jessica Alba. Like, if you're walking back like, oh, my God, she's. Oh, well, what happened was we hung out. It was an all inclusive place. And, you know, we were drinking, everything was free. We hung out all the time. Went to the, I guess the discotheque or the club they call down there, and we hung out. And she was like, hey, look, I'm from North Carolina. I live in Wilmington. My cousin lives in Wilmington. And I was like, that's awesome. Like, we can meet when I go back. So I go, I come back home, call my cousin, I go over there and meet him there and talk about the chicken. We meet at this restaurant over there and come to find out, the girl, she told me on the trip, she was 19 and I was 20 at the time. It comes to find out she was 15 years old.

[Main Host (Burt)]

You were hooking up with her all Week?

[Caller Rafael]

Yeah. Well, okay. No, I didn't get too far. I mean, like, we just, I guess, kind of like made out and like, stuff like that. I didn't get too crazy. But the thing was that she. Girls nowadays, I'm sorry, but they lie about their age. It doesn't matter what. Because they all look like they're 20 years old now. They can be 12. And I'm like, hey, what's up? And they're like, oh, I'm 12. I'm like, oh, I thought you were 18.

[Main Host (Burt)]

That's true. I'll give you that. I will give you that.

[Caller Rafael]

And it's kind of frustrating, but the thing that made the worst feeling in the world is that I walked in there and she's with her dad. Oh no. And I'm looking at this, my cousin's like, bro, what are you doing? And I'm like, dude, I have no clue what the heck's going on. So we walk up and he's like, so you were with my daughter in the trip? And I was like, yeah, we, you know, hung out. He's great. She says a lot about you. And she's like, so when you. When you gonna graduate? I'm looking, I'm like, graduate? And he's like, yeah, are you gonna go to plan to go to school? And basically, I guess she had told his dad that or her dad that I was in high school as well.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

And what was she doing with her dad? Were they going over homework or something?

[Caller Rafael]

Yeah, I was like, oh, Lord. So it was a complete nightmare. It was basically terrifying because. And I was thinking, cuz, you know, like the whole thing now with like Dateline, we're like catching guys, like big perverts now, right? That's the only thing that's crossing my mind. I was like, oh God, I'm gonna get arrested.

[Main Host (Burt)]

This is a totally different conversation for another time and maybe we'll do it tomorrow. But to take stories just like that from both ends. Like the girl that was 15 that told the 25 year old she was 21 and he still doesn't know. Or in Raphael's case, when she says she's 19 and he finds out later that she's 15, that's a gap. We could stay on that topic probably for an hour and a half. Good morning, Sarah. You're on the Bird show. All the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Radio Host]

Hi. This is Sarah. I went on vacation to London with my girlfriend and I met a guy in a bar and he followed me back to the States. I married him and as soon as he got his green card, he left.

[Caller JJ]

He disappeared.

[Main Host (Burt)]

So your vacation ship continues here. You guys claim you love each other, you get married, he gets his green card. And how far. How long after that did he take off?

[Radio Host]

Less than a year. Oh, after the green card?

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Yeah.

[Radio Host]

Immediate.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

That's it, huh?

[Caller JJ]

Mm.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Like the next day?

[Radio Host]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Wow.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

So how long was your vacation ship? And then how long was your whole relationship?

[Radio Host]

Vacationship was a week. Relationship was less than a year.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Whoa.

[Main Host (Burt)]

And the day after he gets his green card? Buh. Bye.

[Caller JJ]

Mm.

[Radio Host]

He was a grenadier guard, you know, one of the guys that guards Buckingham Palace.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Right. That's why this.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

These are great stuff on vacation.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

You can trust those Buckingham palace guards. That's what my dad always told me.

[Main Host (Burt)]

They just don't translate when you get off a vacation. Hey, Amanda. Good morning. You're on the bird show all the hits. Q100.

[Radio Host]

Good morning. I love you guys.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Thank you.

[Radio Host]

I went on a cruise with my family when I was a junior in high school, which was about five years ago, and I met this guy named Daniel. And our families went on little excursions, offshore and everything. And when the cruise ended, he asked for my phone number and everything. And I said, well, you know, I'll just give you my screen name. So I gave him that. And still to this day, I will sign online and he. He will have sent me a message saying, hey, I might be coming through Atlanta. And this guy lives in California. Five years ago. Yeah, it was about five years ago. And I've told him that I have no interest in him. And he still continues to try and pursue it.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Like 5 years. You could be married with a 3 year old by now.

[Radio Host]

I know.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Yeah, but to him, you are the one that got away.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Well, she hasn't got away yet.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

She's not going anywhere.

[Main Host (Burt)]

She's stuck.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

She's the one that's wiggling, but just can't quite make her hand small enough to slip out of the handcuff.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Casey, you'll be the last call.

[Radio Host]

Hi.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Good morning.

[Radio Host]

How are you?

[Main Host (Burt)]

Good. How are you?

[Radio Host]

Good. This is actually not something that happened to me. It happened to my brother in law about three years ago. He ended up going on a cruise. He wanted to cruise through his job and he ended up hooking up with this girl who looked much older than what she was. And they ended up hooking up, having a great time for four days. And at the end of the cruise, she tells him that he needs to move to Green Bay, Wisconsin. And he says you know, I live in Florida. I'm not moving to Green Bay, Wisconsin, for you. You know, this is a vacation thing. And she says, well, I'm 17. If you don't move to Green Bay, Wisconsin, I'm gonna file statutory rape against you. I'm dead serious. So he ends up telling us, you know, hey, I met this girl. I just love her, you know, this big long story while he's moving in Green Bay, Wisconsin, and ends up moving there and. Bad ordeal. He was there for eight months, and he finally ended up saying, you know what? Forget this. You know, do what you got to do. You're 18 now, you know, if you want to put me in jail, fine, go for it, but I'm out of here. Because he couldn't take his car. And obviously it's, like, so cold in Green Bay, Wisconsin, he ended up having to walk to work every day in the snow. And, I mean, he ended up living in her mom's basement for a while. I mean, it was like this horrible nightmare for him.

[Co-Host (Jessica)]

So.

[Main Host (Burt)]

And they met where?

[Radio Host]

On a cruise.

[Main Host (Burt)]

That's beautiful. Keep the vacation ships on vacation. We have learned that today.

[Radio Host]

Absolutely.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Thank you for calling.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

All right.

[Radio Host]

Thank you.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Massey. Annie.

[Radio Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-Host (Jessica)]

Massey.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Vacation ship. I went to Alaska on a fishing trip with my father and my brothers and got there and met. We were. We were, like, in the woods. I mean, camping in the woods. And we had, like. We had a fishing guide, and he was so cute. And I never. I didn't hook up. I moved with my family. I didn't hook up with him or anything like that. But when I flew back, got back to Atlanta, he and I wrote letters. We started writing letters for, like, six months. I mean, the guys in the woods, I would send, like, care packages.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

What do you mean, write letters? Like, with a pen?

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Like, with a.

[Main Host (Burt)]

No, with my blood.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Like on a piece of paper?

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Yes. Like pen to paper. And what did you do? So did you spray perfume on those letters? Took it to the mailbox? No, I did.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

We just.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

But it was, like, really beautiful, romantic love letters written back and forth. And, I mean, I never even gotten closer than a handshake to this guy. So he decides he's gonna come visit over Thanksgiving.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Oh, good God.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

And it seemed like such a good idea because six months of letter writing, it was this whole room. My grandmother's like, I met your grandfather, and we wrote letters for a year. She's like, you're gonna marry this guy.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Well, that's because they didn't have you. Didn't have sidekicks back then.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Or blackberries. Exactly. Well, he flew here and he was gonna stay for two weeks. That's a really long time. Two weeks. And I was doing mornings and I'd come home from getting up at 3:30 in the morning and he'd be like on my couch, like burning one. He had no money whatsoever. I was like buying every meal. He flew here, seriously, with nothing. But apparently some pot.

[Main Host (Burt)]

I've heard a lot of relationships built on less than that. How long did it last?

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

Well, I'd say the first three days.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Three days. And then he got back on a plane and left the world?

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

No, he stayed the whole two weeks. And you were over it. But see, I lived with my brothers and they were like, get this freaking.

[Caller Rafael]

Guy out of here.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

I'm like, I can't. He lives in Alaska. He flew all the way here and then he tried to come back after that and I was like, dude, I really think it's over.

[Main Host (Burt)]

But as soon as we're done smoking this dude's stash, we gotta get him out of here.

[Co-Host (Linda)]

Get it?

[Main Host (Burt)]

The bird show. All right, so let's get everybody up to speed up until Friday. Melissa, you were so good at this on Friday. Can you do it again?

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Let's see. Shake the weekend fog out of my head. Okay, Last weekend. Not this weekend, last weekend, JJ's brother went out of town on business. So a week ago Saturday, last weekend, on Saturday night, JJ went out and happened to run into his sister in law in a. In a bar and she was with a bunch of friends and they were hanging out and then her friend slowly kind of went home. And so it ended up just being him and his sister in law. So they were drinking and he says that he didn't think it was any. Any big deal. He just said, let's continue it on. And they went back to his place. Well, then one thing led to another and then they slept together. So this was Saturday night. Well, she kind of freaked out and then she got up and she left. So the brother was due back in town on Tuesday from this business meeting and the sister in law said that she was going to tell him. So JJ called us up on Tuesday morning because he's like, it's not whether or not to tell him, but how do I tell him? Because she's going to tell him. And should I tell him before she does? Should I be there with her? Should I just wait till after she, you know that he just was seeking advice on that.

[Main Host (Burt)]

On Tuesday, the best case scenario for jj he was saying was he. He didn't want to tell at all, right? He wanted to just hide this thing and just let it ride out. But the sister in law was so freaked out, she's like, I can't live my life that way.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Exactly. So Tuesday, that's when he called and he said, well, he's due back in town this afternoon. We'll see what happens. Wednesday morning he gives us a call back. He says, well, what happened was last week AirTrain had a computer glitch in their system and all flights were delayed up to like six and 10 hours. And unfortunately, his brother was on one of those AirTran flights and was delayed in coming home. So as of Wednesday morning, JJ didn't know if he was home or not and had no update for us. So that was Wednesday morning. Then Thursday morning JJ gave us a call back and said, well, he called him later on on Wednesday or called the sister in law just to kind of see if the brother was coming into town and how to handle it. And then his brother answered the phone. So judge kind of freaked out, hung up the phone, didn't talk to him, wasn't aware that he was back in town, wasn't sure if he knew nothing. Then later on that evening, he got a phone call from his mother saying that his sister in law had actually been rushed to the hospital, to the emergency room. They weren't sure she's having a heart attack or not. So JJ was, you know, sat at home, didn't do anything, didn't call the brother, didn't go to the hospital. And then about 1:30 in the morning, the mother calls back and says, well, she's resting, she's fine. So of course we assume it was a panic attack that she had. And we weren't sure whether or not she had told the brother, tried to tell the brother. We didn't know. So Friday morning we were getting an update because again, as of Friday morning, all we knew is that JJ hadn't said anything to his brother, hadn't said anything to the sister in law, and the sister in law had been in and out of the hospital because of a panic attack.

[Main Host (Burt)]

I think you did great. That's a lot.

[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

That's every single detail. That's so good.

[Main Host (Burt)]

That's a lot. All right, I'm out. When we checked in with JJ on Friday, we were expecting. Okay, the conversation went down. Finally over. What happened? Dude, this is what JJ told us. Jj, Hello. You are back.

[Caller JJ]

I am back.

[Main Host (Burt)]

How are you today, sir?

[Caller JJ]

I am doing very well.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Let's take it from yesterday where we talked. It was about the same time.

[Caller JJ]

Yeah.

[Main Host (Burt)]

What happens after we get off the phone with you? Do you call sister in law? Do you let this play out? What goes on?

[Caller JJ]

I didn't call her. Right. Right after I got off the phone with you guys last night, that it turned out at like 1:30 when I had found out that she had gotten, you know, that they, they said it was a panic attack and all. Well, it turns out that she had been released from the hospital basically at that time and they had given her some medication to help her rest. And she slept, she slept in. And my brother actually stayed home from work in the morning and I guess he went to work around noon or so. And she called me at. I don't know, it was about. No noon, a little bit after noon. And then I hadn't answered. I'd missed a call. So she actually came over to my place.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Whoa.

[Caller JJ]

And told me that she had decided that she wasn't gonna say anything. And I says, what happened? Why? You know, and she said the more she thought about it that she didn't want to ruin her marriage. She didn't want to ruin my relationship with my brother and anything else. And she said after her panic attack, she realized that she, you know, she was able to hold on to the information. She didn't, she wasn't. She didn't feel like she had to tell him anymore. She felt like that was a test and that she passed the test. And she is happy going. Taking this to secret with her to the grave is what she told me. And she said she knew she could do it. And she said the only thing she wanted to do was she wanted to get past the initial stage where it would be awkward for us in a, in a, in a setting, you know, to be around each other. So she, she invited me over to dinner that night. You know, she said she was just gonna do like pizzas and beers and stuff and why don't I come over? And so I did. I went over and yeah, it was awkward a little bit at first, but we worked through it. We talked, you know, we had a great, great night. We even talked about how we coincidentally bumped into each other and over the weekend and. And he told us about his trip and it was fine. It was great. And I am, you know, I went home and I slept and I'm feeling very good and I'm confident that, you know, she's very confident. And I'm, you know, I think this has been put to bed and I Think we're going to be okay. I think it's going to be smooth sailing.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Not that I have to give it out, but. 404-741-1005 I think you're out of your mind, dude. I think you're. I know there's about half of the Birch Ho community right now breathing a sigh of relief because they really think that you should have kept this secret. I just couldn't live with the knowledge that at any moment, this secret can come up. At any single time, be it she being buzzed one day, she realizing in a week or two that she can't keep this secret. In a spontaneous moment of vulnerability, dude, at any time, this can come out. I'm sure that makes you feel great.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Do what now, jj?

[Caller JJ]

I'm sorry.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

No. You. You started to say something.

[Caller JJ]

Oh, yeah. He said, that's, you know, that's a gamble I'm willing to take. You know, I. Personally, I think we're gonna be okay, and I know I'm not gonna say anything. And she really is confident, so I think. I think we're gonna be fine. I. You know, I understand your point. I'm sure there's. You know, the other half of the audience out there thinks we're crazy to hold this in, but I'm going with it, and I'm. I'm taking her. Her cue, and she's the one who's done a complete 180 on this, and I'm for it. I'm just for holding the secret in.

[Main Host (Burt)]

At any point of the night, was there a time where just you and she were alone together? Like, maybe he went to the bathroom, went into the kitchen to grab a beer, whatever. And it was just the two of you alone?

[Caller JJ]

Yeah. Yes, there was. There was numerous times, you know, he. He. Yeah, exactly like you said, would make trips in the. Into the. The kitchen or to the bathroom and things like that. And there was. You know, we had. We had discussed that, too, that, you know, especially last night, we didn't want any suspicion. We didn't want to. We don't want each time he left the room for us to be, you know, conspiratorial or anything like that. So, you know, it was. You know, it was the elephant in the room. But we were not. We were not going to discuss it. You know, that was not the time. We didn't want to have to stop our conversation mid sentence because he walked in. We didn't have to want to worry about hushing our voices or anything like that, because the last thing we wanted to do was to come off as conspiratorial. So we just, you know, when, when he left the room, we talked about whatever we were talking about or, you know, we just kept quiet and the TV was on in the corner, focused on that. But we did not discuss anything at all.

[Main Host (Burt)]

All right, hold on one sec. JJ, Cindy, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Radio Host]

I've been married for 14 years. If I did that with my brother in law, no way would I tell my husband. It is something that the reason they don't have to tell. One of the things is when you do something like that, your payment is.

[Caller JJ]

The guilt that you feel.

[Main Host (Burt)]

So you say the secret to a long term healthy relationship are small. Well, in this case, a big just lie.

[Radio Host]

It's not just lie. It was a mistake. You don't have to admit your mistake. You don't have to. It doesn't make them a bad person. Yeah, they've learned from it. They're very remorseful. It's not like they're. Oh, well, we're just gonna keep this hush hush. They've really, really thought it through. They've talked about not being consistent, conspiratorial.

[Caller Rafael]

It's.

[Radio Host]

They made a mistake. And all that mistake is going to do. What good is it going to do to further marriage?

[Main Host (Burt)]

I can understand it. It's. They're not the rules that I can live by. But I get it. Like if Stacy cheated on me, I don't 100% think that I. Because the relationship is over.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Right.

[Main Host (Burt)]

You know, from where I come from and I've seen, you know, how I feel about that whole thing, it's over. But then I gotta look at Hayden and now I gotta look at a house that doesn't have my son in it. And I can't live with that. I could not live with that. So the reality of it is maybe I wouldn't want to know. I don't know.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

I get children involved is a different scenario. I get the decisions people make when children are involved. But when there's no children involved and you slept with and I am sitting there, the first fool of everybody because I have no idea that when I was out of town working and that the person that I thought I was in love with is at home sleeping with my sibling, I would want to know that.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Complicated. Hey, jj.

[Caller JJ]

Yeah.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Are there kids involved in this whole situation?

[Caller JJ]

No. No.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Okay. All right. Well, I mean, I don't know really nowhere to go here except maybe to check back in with you in a couple of weeks.

[Caller JJ]

All right, man. I'll talk to you guys in a couple weeks.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

All right. Thank you, jj.

[Main Host (Burt)]

All right, jj. See you.

[Caller JJ]

Take care.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

Bye.

[Main Host (Burt)]

Bye. You're on the Birch show.

[Co-Host (Hannah)]

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[Co-Host (Jessica)]

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[Co-Host (Hannah)]

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[Co-Host (Jessica)]

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[Radio Host]

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[Co-Host (Jennifer)]

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[Radio Host]

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[Radio Host]

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