Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, August 4 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, August 4 [Vault]
Date: August 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the quirks and chaos of daily life with humor and candor, covering everything from awkward parenting encounters and “garbage truck” life lessons, to betting on horse races by name and bachelorette party planning tips. The regular cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others) and listeners share genuine, funny, and sometimes touching stories, offering a mix of laughter, relatability, and honest conversation about real-life situations.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Strange Parenting Encounters & the Homeschool Recruitment Phenomenon

[00:51–08:17]

• Tracy’s Grocery Store Encounter
  Tracy Kinney (producer) recounts a random conversation with an older woman at the grocery store. After complimenting Tracy’s baby, Ella, the stranger unexpectedly asks if Ella will be homeschooled and launches into an unsolicited pitch about homeschooling’s virtues.

  • “Her next sentence is, ‘Will she be homeschooled?’ I’m like, what?” – Tracy (02:24)
  • Tracy senses the woman is “on a mission.” She later shares: “She had to have been on a mission. Like those Mary Kay people.” (04:55)
  • The team laughs at how over-the-top these approaches can be.

• Listener Stories: The ‘Recruiters’ & TMI Moments
  Multiple listeners call in with their own stories of being approached by strangers with unsolicited advice or recruitment pitches, not just for homeschooling but also for jobs like Mary Kay or even receiving bizarre parenting comments.

  • “They go out on these missions to recruit homeschoolers.” – Michelle (04:21)
  • Another caller shares her awkward aisle encounter about a mother oversharing her son’s private habits.

• Is Homeschool Recruiting a “Cult?”
  One listener, Tanya, jokingly theorizes about an organized effort to create “a futuristic breed, the ultimate human society,” comparing persistent homeschool advocates to a cult.

  • “That’s my fear. My fear is just this weird Stepford Children program…” – Tanya (07:43)

• The Crew’s Take
  The show’s cast agrees the recruiting seems odd, with Tracy confirming, “I am not planning on homeschooling Ella.” Kristin adds, “If you see her walking around Perimeter Mall, back off.” (08:04–08:14)

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2. The Law of the Garbage Truck: A Life Lesson

[08:18–11:56]

• Bert shares a story called “The Law of the Garbage Truck,” given to him by his wife from her work at an addiction recovery center.
  • The lesson: Don’t let other people’s negativity impact your mood; just let them “dump” their garbage and keep moving.
  • “Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage… and their garbage piles up. They need a place to dump it. If you let them, they’ll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.” (09:48–10:25)
• The segment is warmly received:
  • “Aww, that’s great.” – Team reaction (11:27)
  • Bert reflects on how the timing of such stories can be impactful, and urges listeners to be mindful of ‘garbage trucks’ in daily life.

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3. Horse Racing Bets: Choosing Winners by Name, Not Stats

[14:05–22:23]

• Bert shares a classic anecdote about attending the Kentucky Derby: while he and a friend used stats, the women in their group picked horses purely by “cute names”—and ended up winning big ($2,260 trifecta win).

  • “Kristen goes, I’m gonna do it. $10 on the trifecta… She gets in line… and [her] trifecta came in.” (17:24–18:06)

• The team is invited to pick horses for the Preakness—by name alone—no research or odds allowed.

  • Highlights include playful explanations of betting terms and the desire to “always place the same bet” as everyone else to avoid jealousy.
  • Light banter follows about how surprising and fun it is when luck trumps logic in gambling.

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4. Bachelorette Party Survival Guide: Where to Buy the Wildest Decorations in Atlanta

[23:39–31:36]

• The show continues its popular wedding-season series. Today’s focus: best local (and online) spots for bachelorette party supplies/favors.

  • “You gotta have the straws in the shape of the manhood… fake veils…where do you go to get it?” (25:00)
  • Cast and listeners recommend locations:
    • Insurrection (adult store with party favors)
    • Party City (PG decorations)
    • Spencer’s (mall staple, surprisingly well-stocked in adult novelties)
    • eBay (“I make penises all the time… I have cookie cutters.” – Caller Debbie, 27:07)
    • Brush Strokes (novelty shop by Ansley Mall)
    • pureromance.com
    • Local sex shops near Harry’s in Marietta

• The hosts joke about Spencer’s as the place you look but don’t buy, and about accidentally finding “cabinetfuls” of party supplies at home.

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5. Parenting Disagreements: The Great Kids’ Haircut Debate

[33:06–39:44]

• One of the hosts details a newly discovered parenting “dealbreaker” with her partner Katie Jo: how to handle future children’s haircuts, especially boys.
  • Host: “We fight about kids’ haircuts every time we go out and see them. And especially boys’ haircuts.” (33:52)
  • Katie Jo is “very old school, wants a traditional haircut,” while the speaker is more relaxed, seeing hair as self-expression.
• The group debates whether parents should control things like shaggy “Justin Bieber” hair.
• Playful banter follows about which parent would dress a kid better, and memories of simple, old-fashioned barber shop cuts vs. today’s freedom of style.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Over-Invested ‘Complimenters’:
  “She comments on how beautiful Ella is… her next sentence is, ‘Will she be homeschooled?’ I’m like, what?” – Tracy (02:24)

• On Homeschool Recruiting:
  “They go out on these missions to recruit homeschoolers.” – Michelle (04:21)
  “That’s my fear. My fear is just this weird Stepford Children program…” – Tanya (07:43)

• On Handling Negativity:
  “When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.” – Bert (reading “Law of the Garbage Truck,” 10:25)

• On Betting by Instinct:
  “Kristen, you just… congratulations!” – Bert describing the trifecta win (18:06)

• On Bachelorette Party Supplies:
  “I make penises all the time… I have cookie cutters.” – Debbie, listener (27:07)

• On Haircut Debates:
  “The only fights we will have over our children are when they get older and what kind of haircut they have or hair color.” – Host (36:53)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Awkward Compliments & Homeschool Recruiting: 00:51 – 08:17
• Law of the Garbage Truck (Life Lesson): 08:18 – 11:56
• Horse Race Betting by Name: 14:05 – 22:23
• Bachelorette Party Survival Guide: 23:39 – 31:36
• Parenting & the Kids’ Haircut Debate: 33:06 – 39:44

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Episode Tone

• Relatable, friendly, and lighthearted
• Open and self-deprecating humor
• Candid, with occasional moments of sincerity
• Involves active listener participation and plenty of playful banter

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For Full Bachelorette Party Tips, “Law of the Garbage Truck” text, and more, visit:

Q100Atlanta.com

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This episode is a dynamic mix of parenting comedy, practical advice, and team camaraderie—ideal for listeners seeking honest laughs and a sense of if-you-know-you-know community.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

biggest sale of the year. Save 25% on the new Comfort Next Lux for a limited time only at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com get it? The Bird show producer Tracy Kinney joins us, proud mother of Ella Grace Kinney.

[D]

Hola.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

How's Ella?

[B]

She's good. She's standing up on her own, which is scary because she falls back, but.

[D]

And how old is Ella now?

[B]

She is 10 and a half months. She's as cute as can be.

[E]

Thank you for saying that. Months, not weeks. I appreciate that.

[D]

I couldn't even.

[A]

Tracy, I love you for that because Tracy has never been a week's girl.

[B]

I lost count at three months.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Thank God.

[A]

Like, that is. So how old is your.

[E]

It's. I'm sorry. It's annoying. Sorry, moms. It's annoying.

[A]

52 weeks. You mean a year?

[E]

No, I mean 52 weeks. Yeah. Come on.

[F]

Three days.

[E]

I don't care that much.

[A]

I'm gonna start giving my age in weeks. I'm gonna do the math. Melissa, how old are you? I'm 2,000 weeks.

[D]

That's funny.

[E]

I'm a little and looking all of 1500.

[A]

So Tracy is down here because she had with little baby Ella, who is so beautiful. You can't help but comment on it. Had a strange encounter with somebody who wanted to comment on Ella's looks and then just went one sentence too far.

[E]

Oh, no.

[B]

And it was a quick one sentence too far, too.

[A]

And it's totally random. So the hope is somebody would be able to explain the mentality of this random complimenter to us. 404-741-Q100.

[B]

Yeah, it was a complete. I mean, I didn't know this lady whatsoever. Ella and I were at the grocery store. I had her in one of those little baby Bjorn things and she's facing forward so she can wave at everybody

[A]

like she's in a parade. Ella, do you want to go to the parade? Yay.

[B]

Yay.

[E]

There's A grand marshal.

[B]

This lady walks up to me and she comments on how beautiful Ella is, which I was. You know, I'm like, oh, thank you so much. That was the first sentence. Your daughter is so beautiful. I say, thank you so much. Her next sentence is, will she be homeschooled? I'm like, what?

[D]

What? Really?

[E]

She really said that? And you don't know this person?

[B]

Two sentences into this conversation. I've never met this lady. And she said, will she be homeschooled? And I didn't know what to say. I was like, well, she's only 11 months. We haven't exactly gotten that far. And then she goes to tell me. She's like, well, you do know that research shows.

[E]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

That the baby's not even a year

[E]

and you don't know this woman? And this is the first. I've never seen this woman in my life. Oh, my God.

[B]

Research shows that those children that are homeschooled have a higher rate of graduating from college than those that are not. And I said, well, we haven't even discussed it. I'm not opposed to it. But, I mean, I didn't even know what to say to this lady because I didn't want to offend her. But. But then I said, so I guess it would. I said, I guess it would depend on whether or not I could afford not to work. And she goes, well, you know, it is worth the sacrifice.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[D]

How random. Did this woman have children with her?

[B]

No, she was a little bit older. I would say that she was probably in her 60s. So, I mean, if she had children. Yeah, they're probably grown by now. And then she went on to tell me that of all the women that she knows who have children that are homeschooled, their children are better behaved and more intelligent than the women who. Whose kids are not homeschooled.

[E]

How long was this conversation with random stranger?

[B]

Like, four minutes long.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

You should have been like, I'm sorry, my milk's getting warm. I gotta go to the.

[E]

I'll be like, I gotta check out.

[A]

I gotta go home.

[B]

I started. I tried to, like, prompt Ella to say, okay. Say, bye.

[G]

Bye.

[D]

Bye.

[G]

Bye.

[E]

Say, bye bye.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Hey, Michelle. Welcome to the show.

[F]

Thanks.

[A]

How are you?

[E]

Hey.

[F]

Good. How are you?

[E]

Good, good.

[F]

I am. I had a really weird conversation with a woman like this in a clothing store with my oldest son.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

She approached me the same way. She approached me to say how beautiful my baby was and did I have plans to homeschool him. And I found out later through a friend of mine that they go out on these missions to recruit homeschoolers.

[D]

No way. They're like Jehovah's Witnesses.

[B]

My baby really isn't beautiful.

[F]

I'm sure she's just lovely.

[E]

But in. That seems weird to me that you're homeschooling so you're in an enclosed environment with your family. But they're going to recruit this like they're a collective. I don't know, it's just sounds weird to me.

[B]

It does make sense though. Cause it was the most bizarre situation that she had to have been on a mission. Like those Mary Kay people. When you go, do you know what I'm talking about?

[D]

When you're out in the middle of the day and they approach you to sell Mary Kay, what is this?

[B]

They like, anytime you're at like a female targeted store, like a Target or a TJ Maxx or something, random women will come up to you and they'll say, you know, you look like a very career minded woman. You're like what? Oh yeah, thank you. And they're like, have you ever considered a career in Mary Kay? It happens all the time.

[A]

So that's their pitch. Like they didn't see you trying to find a set of towels in the. Be it back at TJ Maxx and go, God, look at the way she is sorting out the gray ones and the blue ones. That is.

[D]

No, they just approach women that are out and about during the day cause they assume that you don't have a job. I get approached a lot because I'll run like once I leave work, I mean our eight hour days, like by 12 or 1. And so I'll go run errands and do stuff, whatever. I get approached a lot for all kinds of like home jobs like that because they assume that you aren't working, you know, if you're out and about during the day.

[E]

Weird.

[A]

Hey Crystal, welcome to the show.

[F]

Hey, how are you doing? Fine. Yeah, I just wanted to make a comment. I was actually, I have an 11 and a half month old baby girl myself and I was shopping for baby food one day and this woman was in there in the aisle next to me with her little boy and she just started talking to me randomly about how he likes to play with himself and pull on his private areas and she just doesn't know how to get him to stop.

[D]

Oh my God, lady, go away.

[E]

So it's just like random mom advice, like oh, we're both moms.

[F]

I mean, I don't even know if it was advice because I have a girl and she had a boy, obviously, but it was just so crazy. She just started talking about it and then she wouldn't shut up. I couldn't walk away from her.

[A]

Maybe was it. Was the boy about the same age as your girl?

[F]

I mean, he was maybe a few months younger. I mean, he looked around the same age, but yeah, she just started talking about it now. Like when she's giving him a bath, he'll just and play and dabble.

[A]

Hey, Tanya, welcome to the show.

[F]

Hey, guys. The same thing happened to me. I was approached by a woman for about homeschool. And I believe that this is a cult trying to breed attractive, beautiful, intelligent people.

[A]

Wait, what?

[D]

Why do you think it's a cult?

[F]

Because to me it's sort of like what you said before about the whole Jehovah Witness. And I'm not saying Jehovah Witnesses are cult, but I'm saying it's the same pattern. They're attractive children because of course, my child is attractive. Attractive children that they pursue. And you know all about the home school. So that's my fear. My fear is just this weird Stepford Children program that they're trying to put

[A]

together some futuristic breed. The ultimate human society.

[E]

I have fascinated by. I'm fascinated by homeschoolers going to recruit.

[D]

That is fascinating to me. And further.

[E]

Well, it shows that they have social skills to go in, try to recruit for home school.

[D]

God, it just further fuels my fire against it.

[B]

I am not planning on homeschooling Ella.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you, Tracy.

[A]

Thank you. But keep in mind, Tracy also has three and a half years to decide on Ella's education. So if you do see her walking around Perimeter Mall, back off.

[D]

So strange that they're recruiting.

[A]

Listen, it's the vert show.

[C]

Here is something else I wanted to share with you guys also. This may take a second, but weeks ago my wife gave me this. She works at an Atlanta recovery residence and they passed this out a couple of weeks ago. And I'm not normally, you know, like when you send spam and it's always those feel good stories and stuff like that. Generally I get so many of them that I've stopped reading them because they really don't touch me all that much. But my wife came and she gave me this a few weeks ago. And I just think at this point in my life, it just hit me on a different level.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

And it totally made sense to me and see if it makes sense to you guys. Also, it says how often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, a rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator for an instant, you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly that person can get back their focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago, I learned this story. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other cars back in by just inches. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So I said, why did you just do that? And this guy almost. This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital. And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call the law of the garbage truck. Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. And their garbage piles up. They need a place to dump it. If you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it, the law of the garbage truck. And I started thinking, how often do I get garbage trucks running right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, on the streets? And it was that day I said, I'm not doing it anymore. I began to see garbage trucks like in the movie the Sixth Sense. The little boy said, I see dead people. Well, now I see garbage trucks. I see the load that they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my taxi driver, I don't make it a personal thing. I just smile and I wave. I wish him well, and I move on. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present and at their best for the people that they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage trucks take over their day. So what about you? What would happen in your life starting today if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? So here's my bet. You'd be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. And if it changes your life, let it.

[E]

Aww, that's great.

[C]

I did love that.

[D]

I love that.

[C]

And you know how there are some things that just hit you at one point in your life and you're right in the middle of it and you're like, nah, that's it right there.

[D]

For me to have the opposite response of what people expect.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you realize how much, you know, like, I've been garbage truck for sure. I've been, you know, everybody's been a garbage truck. But I just love that and I wanted to share it with you guys for a long time. And we'll put it up online at q100atlanta.com awesome, right?

[A]

This is the Bird show.

[G]

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[A]

This is the Bird show, asking all of you here in the room to grab a pen.

[B]

Okay, check.

[A]

This weekend, I am going up to Baltimore, which is where the Preakness is held. That's the second leg of the Triple Crown, the horse race. And I'm going to place a bet for each one of you.

[E]

Okay, cool.

[D]

Awesome.

[A]

What I'm gonna do, though, is just read the names of the horses, and you can't look at the odds, you can't look at the jockey, you can't look at how they've done. You can't look at stats. You can't do anything. You're betting this, and I'm gonna tell you why we're doing it this way. And I hate this story. Ugh, I feel sick even telling it. Okay, but a few years ago.

[C]

Oh, I think I've heard this story.

[A]

Oh, I'm sure you have. If you're friends with Jessica, you've heard this story. A few years ago, I got to go to the Kentucky Derby, and it was Jessica and I and our friends Jeff and Kristen and. And the four of us went together and we got into. And I never realized this until I attended these events. There's a whole afternoon of races. There's one race, that's the Kentucky Derby.

[G]

Correct.

[A]

But there's 12 races going on. The seventh or eighth one is the actual Derby. So we got there in the second or Third race, and we got our Mint Julep and our. What's the drink there? Is that what it is? Mint julep. Okay, so you get the mint Julep, and you look at all the pretty ladies in their hats, and you take the pictures in front of the sign, and then you start to bet on the races before the derby.

[C]

Right?

[A]

And so we were standing in line, and of course, Jeff and I are guys, and I'm pretty convinced that no guy knows how to read a horse program, but every guy pretends. So Jeff and I are studying the other. Jeff and I are studying very closely, trying to determine mathematically which horse has got the best odds of coming in and winning. And Kristen and Jessica are standing there looking for cute horse names.

[E]

Mm, that's funny.

[B]

I mean, it's very girl like.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So Kristin, because they are very clever and unique, and they should be rewarded for their creativity.

[A]

So Kristen decides that she likes Kristen and Jeff. Both are. Or Kristen and Jessica are both debating on these horses that have found three horse names that are all cute to them. I think, if I'm not mistaken, every horse name had the word cat in it somehow.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And, you know, Jessica is an animal lover. Her friend Kristen is an animal lover. And, you know, we. She had a cat at the time who she was obsessed with, and it was her. You know, that was. That was. She always talked about her cat. So I think that bonding thing, they decided that those three horses, and I suggested playing them as a trifecta.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

And that means you bet all three horses to come in first, second, or third. And if you win, you know, that's

[E]

a lot of money.

[D]

Really great money.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So Kristen goes, I'm gonna do it. $10 on the trifecta for blah, blah, blah. And she named the horses, she gets in line, and then Jessica gets in line behind her and says, I'm gonna do it too. And Jessica has her $10. And then I said to Jessica, I'm like, look, just don't bet the trifecta. The odds of all those horses are terrible. They're all 12 to 1. You know, let Kristen have her fun, but just put one horse in there that could do really well, you know, like, you don't have. You have no shot with these three.

[G]

Right?

[A]

Like, pick another one.

[D]

Don't be silly.

[A]

Yeah, don't be an idiot. Don't be stupid.

[E]

Cause, you know.

[A]

Right.

[E]

Cause, you know, horses look it.

[A]

I'm reading the horse program.

[D]

You're like, I know the numbers.

[A]

Those numbers. That big number is bigger than those Second numbers. So it's not good. I know that. So Jessica mixed it up, Right. So we go watch the race. Guess what happened. Our friend trifecta, Kristen's trifecta came in.

[D]

How much money did she win?

[A]

Well, they. The thing is.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

Look, it came in and I'm like, oh, my. And I remember doing this. I watched the three horse and I go, oh, my God, you. And I'm turning to look at Kristen and my eyes went over Jessica, and I go, oh, my God, Kristen, you just. Cause Jessica, congratulations.

[B]

Evil stare.

[A]

So nobody knew how to, like, read the board and all that stuff. And I did. I have been to a horse race a lot of times, so I knew. And. And so Kristen says, you know, how much did I win? And I said, I looked up at the board and I was like, wow.

[E]

You know, because it comes up.

[A]

Yeah. And I said, like, 2260 or, you know, whatever the amount was that they put up on the thing. And so everybody's like, hey, high five. You know, first win. Woo. 2260. And so she went up to the counter and we're all going to take a picture, you know, of her getting her 2260. And it was $2260.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I was about to say, that's not $22. Yeah.

[D]

That's crazy. Jessica so mad at you.

[A]

You have no idea. Like, I actually had.

[E]

She's still mad at you, isn't she?

[A]

I actually had to tell her, like, a race or two later. I'm like, you're going to need to shake it off. Like, she couldn't shake it.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, go drink. Go do something, because it's going to ruin your whole day.

[E]

And it cost her $2,200. Oh, God. And then you go and tell her to shake it off.

[D]

Make that stretch. She can stretch $2,200 really fast.

[A]

We would still be living off that 2,200 bucks.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Do you know she could have gone through with 2260 a lot. So we're gonna pick for this weekend.

[A]

Yeah. Here's my point with the Preakness. I'm just gonna read. I'm just gonna read the horse names, and you guys write down which one, which one or two or three you think will win which names you like. And then I'll place the bet for you.

[C]

And is it a win bet or

[E]

is it a trifecta bet?

[A]

You can do it however you want. If you like three horse names, I'll get you a trifecta. If you like two horse Names. I'll get you the thing that's like a trifecta, but only for two. The double fecta Daily doubleish thing. And no, it's not a daily double wood. Yep. And if you just want to pick one to come in first or second. Okay, whatever you want. Here are the horse names.

[F]

Ready?

[E]

Got it.

[D]

Ready.

[A]

Super Saver.

[B]

Oh, I like that one.

[A]

Patio Prado. And that's spelled P A D D Y O P R a D O. This one I don't know how to pronounce. Akente. A I K E N Akenite. I feel like I'm looking at the license plate. Somebody who did a personalized plate that I really don't understand.

[B]

Can I get the origin?

[A]

A I K E N I T E. Akenite. Like Clay Aikenite. Cara cortado. Pleasant Prince. No Blynn.

[B]

Can you spell that?

[A]

D U blend. You wanna twist? Y A W A N N A twist. You wanna twist? Schoolyard Dreams. Northern Giant, Jackson Bend. Looking at Lucky and first dude. Okay, got your picks.

[E]

Melissa, Got my picks.

[A]

Who do you like?

[E]

I'm gonna do Jackson Ben to win.

[A]

Jackson Ben to win.

[E]

But I got two more. I'm gonna do a trifecta for me.

[A]

You got it.

[E]

Pleasant Prince to place.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

And the one you couldn't pronounce to show.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

What was the last name you said?

[A]

First dude.

[D]

That's awesome.

[A]

What do you like, Javi?

[D]

I got looking at Lucky to win. Dublin in second and Super Saver in third.

[A]

I will place that bet. Did Super Saver. Won the derby, right?

[D]

Won the derby.

[B]

And Wendell, I'm going with Super Saver to win. Schoolyard Dreams to place. And then first dude in third.

[A]

First dude in third. I will place those bets for you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Good luck. I think it's about five o' clock on Saturday.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

So.

[D]

Yeah, it starts 4:30 on NBC actually.

[A]

And you know what I have to do whenever I place a bet for someone? I should have thought of this before I offered to do this for the whole room. Oh, I always have to place the same bet just in case. Because I would be mad if y' all won. And this isn't even like playing the

[E]

same bet for all.

[A]

I'll have to play two of Jen's bet, two of your bet, two of Wendy's bet. Because I'll be mad. You know, it's not like when I take your money and go to Vegas and go, ah, gee, sorry. It just never came up. Even though it did.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Like, I really gotta place the bet this Time. So it's the virtue.

[G]

This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.

[F]

All.

[G]

I took a look at my closet the other day, like, truly looked at it, and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never, ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet. And I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now you've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells. So Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US On Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[A]

This is the bird show.

[C]

And I think what we will do here is we will continue our bachelorette party survival guide.

[D]

Yeah, we've been doing this series on bachelorette parties because right now we are in the thick of wedding season and it is all happening. Everybody's got their wedding dates either, you know, coming up really soon or in the next couple of months. Cause everybody wants to get married in pretty weather. We'll come comes. What comes before the wedding is, of course, the bachelor and bachelorette parties. We're focusing on the bachelorette ones. Cause they're. They're just more wild and crazy and more fun. So we talked about the best places to go for your bachelorette party in

[C]

Atlanta because there are some bars and some places that are just more bachelorette party friendly than others. They don't even want you.

[D]

Exactly, exactly. So we talked about that and then we talked about the best strippers in Atlanta, if you want to hire them and all. And those lists are up online right [e-mail] if you need to consult them while you're planning for your next bachelorette party.

[C]

And if you can't go online, you could just call our intern Bianca and she could just fill you in on top. Yeah, it was strangely, she, like, knew the top six or seven guys. There was another one. What else are we missing?

[B]

We talked about the games because I saw three bachelorette parties just this weekend alone, and they were all doing different fun games. So we talked about the different games you can play while you're out and about with your bachelorette party. One was a scavenger hunt this weekend,

[D]

which I was laughing at.

[B]

So.

[C]

And these are all posted up online. So that can alleviate the email that we get so much this time of year. Like, what do we do for bachelorette party? So today we're focusing on what?

[D]

On, like, decorations and different party favors that you need and where you can go to get them. Because, you know, you gotta have the straws and the shape of the manhood. You got to have the, you know, different buttons with the names on them and the boas and all the stuff that you need. You know, the fake veil because you don't want to wear a real veil. You know, you got to get, like, the cheesy veil or whatever else that you need to go out on that night. Where do you go and get it?

[C]

So 404741, Q100. There are just a couple of stores, right?

[E]

Yeah, I was going to say service.

[C]

That kind of thing.

[E]

When you talk about the more adult stuff, I think Insurrection is a good place to go because there's a section in Insurrection that is just for party

[D]

favors, and they have a lot of those locations around. Right.

[E]

They're all over metro Atlanta.

[C]

So Melissa actually has them all tattooed. Each location is tattooed on her forearm.

[D]

She has a map just so she

[C]

doesn't forget you need longitude and latitude line. She knows them all.

[E]

Some people have maps with the. The push pins in where they've been around the world. I have them where Insurrection is. Okay, so what.

[D]

I think that's going to be my next Bing.com commercial. If you need to, you know, look

[E]

for the map apps for your.

[D]

Your insurrection, right?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

So we're looking for two things. We're looking for different decorations, and we're looking for the places that you get them also. It's like a party city. Do they have a section for that?

[E]

They have.

[D]

They have like a G rated type of bachelorette party stuff. So they'll have like the buttons you can wear that say like, I'm a flirt or kiss me or you know, silly but very pg. Tame stuff. Yeah, very tame stuff. But cute, definitely cute things.

[B]

What about a Spencer's? Spencer's has kind of some crazy stuff in the back.

[C]

Nobody's ever bought anything from Spencer's.

[F]

Really.

[C]

That's a place you go and you check everything out. A little thing that, yeah, electricity goes into your finger, but you don't buy it.

[E]

And then the big thing where you touch it and the fluorescent lights change color because you touched it.

[C]

I don't even know that you're allowed to buy anything there.

[E]

Or you go through the posters like you're gonna buy them, but for some reason you go through the posters, laughing at all the beer stuff. Nude pictures.

[C]

All right, Places to go to get the stuff for the bachelorette party and the different decorations. Also, not a lot of calls today. 404 741Q100. Hey, Debbie.

[F]

Hey, how you doing, guys?

[C]

How are you?

[F]

Ebay, you can get. I've got cookie, I've got candy makers. I make penises all the time. Sorry. I make private parts. I've got boobs. I can make for guys parties. I've got cookie cutters that make the mail things.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

I've got all kinds of stuff. You get blow up things the girl can tote with her. But ebay has all that stuff. And get. That's where we got all of our stuff.

[D]

I do remember a couple years ago going online and ordering a bundt pan like for a cake.

[F]

Yeah, I have cakes things. I have a whole cabinet full of stuff for all those kinds of parties.

[E]

Are you married?

[F]

Yes. Well, not actually. I've just been living together in sin for a long time.

[E]

I just say he loves that cabinet.

[F]

Yeah, he does. Actually, whenever there's like Valentine's parties, I make candies for the girls.

[E]

And because I was gonna say if you were single and a guy came over and he just happened, oh, where's a plate? Oh, check this cabinet. And all that's in there.

[F]

It was actually then that we met at Parents Without Partners. It was actually Valentine's. I made a bunch of the candies and we had chocolate melting parties. You know, who could melt their chocolate faster stuff that was actually what impressed it with me. And we've been together ever since.

[E]

All right.

[C]

Is there a certain section on ebay that you look for something like this? Because this feels Like, I think it's

[F]

like, bachelorette parties or gag gifts for bachelorette parties.

[C]

Anyway, because I think you're walking a fine line. If you did that on Craigslist, you're gonna get a whole bunch of different ebay.

[D]

But I would have never thought of ebay.

[G]

That's smart.

[E]

But you got to give yourself a little time, you know, with ebay, to do it and have it sent to you.

[C]

404741, Q100. Hey, Brittany.

[F]

Hey.

[A]

Hey, what's up?

[F]

Nothing. I just lost my voice.

[C]

Well, then you. Then you've done the wrong thing today.

[F]

I actually went to my best friend's bachelor party on Saturday, and that resulted from my losing my voice.

[C]

Okay, you got plenty of good reason. So where do you go to get decorations and stuff like that?

[F]

You actually just knocked it. But we, in fact, went to Spencer's.

[C]

Oh, you did?

[B]

They do have stuff.

[F]

They do. Well, my husband was stationed out in Fort Hood during our wedding out in Texas. There's pretty much nothing out there whatsoever but a tiny, little rinky dink mall. And the only thing out there is Spencer's, but they have a very, very large adult section.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

Okay, great. Thank you very much.

[F]

No problem.

[C]

All right. She's like, even though I don't have a voice, I still got to stick up for Spencer's, man.

[E]

Try to go into spending.

[D]

Try not to touch that stuff. Help the other women.

[C]

Good morning, Anderson. You are on the Burt Show.

[F]

Hey, good morning, guys. I love you. I missed it when I was in Michigan. It's good to be back home.

[C]

Thank you, man.

[F]

You can get that stuff over at Brush Strokes. They have a whole selection.

[C]

Brushstrokes.

[E]

Yeah, it's over by Ansley Mall.

[F]

Yeah, it's over at Ansley Mall.

[D]

What is that?

[E]

It's in a shopping center behind it, and it's a novelty store.

[D]

Okay. Okay.

[E]

This is a great place to get stuff.

[C]

And what's the name of it again?

[E]

Brush Strokes.

[C]

Brush Strokes. Okay.

[D]

Never even heard of that.

[E]

Brush Strokes.

[D]

Oh, that's what I thought y' all were saying.

[E]

I didn't understand brush strokes.

[D]

Like, if you were painting, not swimming breaststrokes.

[E]

Whole different story.

[C]

Hey, Alana. Good morning. You are on the Burt Show.

[F]

Hey, you can go to pureromance.com.

[C]

we should have thought of that.

[G]

Of course.

[C]

Pureromance.com has everything. I mean, from the most basic stuff to the naughty, naughty stuff. Thank you very much.

[F]

No problem.

[E]

Sound almost irritated.

[C]

She was. Probably from pure romance going, oh, I'm a paid advertiser.

[E]

Been in there.

[C]

Hey, Laura. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[D]

I thought that was.

[G]

Hello.

[F]

There is a great place in front of Harry's Food Market off of Roswell Road. It's actually a sex store, but inside they have tons of bachelorettes party stuff. Like the nasty stuff you guys looking for.

[E]

Do you know the name of the store?

[F]

No, I don't, but it's right in front of Harry's, and it's a sex store right in front of me.

[C]

Harry's on Roswell Road?

[B]

That's funny.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

You say in Sandy Springs.

[F]

I think it's actually in Marietta.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, Gotcha. Thank you.

[D]

In front of Harry's and Marietta.

[C]

Wendy, you just wanted to say Harry's.

[D]

I didn't even get that till right now.

[C]

All right, Karen, one more for us.

[F]

This, that, and other on Cobb Parkway.

[C]

This, that, and other. What is that all about?

[F]

It's just a novelty store that has everything.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Sounds like any novelty store. You're good to go. Thank you very much.

[D]

Good stuff. But there was some of those I had never heard of before. Very cool.

[C]

All right, so the entire list of the ultimate sort of bachelorette party survival guide, all up online right now. Q100 Atlanta. Yeah, go get them, girl. Find your penis straws. They're all up online right now.

[G]

The Birch show this episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'. All, I took a look at my closet the other day, like, truly looked at it, and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there, taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never, ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet. And I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted. Now you've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US On Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[E]

Dear Bird Show, Katie Jo and I have a fundamental parenting difference that we. That I have just discovered. So Katie and I have been together, my girlfriend, for four years now, and we have talked about being parents, and my embryos are in a freezer here in Atlanta. So we are on our way to be parents in a couple years. But, you know, and so we've, of course, talked about parenting because I think it's very important before you have children to talk about how you will handle, have, and raise and what you do these children, because I think you need to be on the same page with that before you have children. But, you know, when it comes to whether or not we're going to spank our kids, check. We're on the same page on that. When it comes to whether we would homeschool our kids or not, check. We are on the same page as that when it comes to, I mean, college, everything. Check, check. Everything. We're on the same page.

[A]

You're not going to homeschool your kids, right?

[E]

No.

[A]

Yeah. I don't trust you.

[E]

But one. One fundamental difference we have is haircuts. We fight about kids haircuts every time we go out and see them. And especially boys haircuts, oddly enough, more so than girls. So even though I know Justin Bieber has made his haircut famous, that haircut's been around for a couple years before Justin Bieber, you know, was on the scene.

[D]

Sure.

[E]

You know, that kind of shaggy, long haircut. This is just an example. So we're having breakfast the other morning, you know, the other weekend, rather, and we're having breakfast on a Sunday morning, and we're sitting there and. And there were. It was a family there with one of their kids who's like a teenage boy, and he has one of these shaggy haircuts and always has to kind of shake his head to get his hair out of his eyes like any guy with that haircut does, including Justin Bieber. And so he was doing that. Anyway, he was walking out, and Katie almost, like, slammed her coffee cup down

[A]

because she said, she's the randomly mad person, isn't she? Like I thought it was you for a while, but she's the one who just gets feisty about odd things.

[E]

Well, I tend to get feisty about, you know, things that I think are serious issues and she's very laid back on most everything. But there are things that yeah, she will randomly get so angry about and this haircut is one of them. And so I am, I am one who, I'm just not that anal when it comes to haircuts and when it comes, especially teenagers, if you're going to dye your hair, if you're going to cut your hair, if you're going to do something funky, I mean, you know,

[D]

do whatever you're going to do, do

[E]

whatever you're going to do. Because I do see it as a form of expression. I do get that, what's the big deal? But Katie, so old school, like I think she wants, you know, she wants a traditional haircut, traditional hair, clean cut, she wants girls to have long hair and you know, all, all this. And so anyway I just, I realized that and that wasn't the only time that she has complained about that. But anytime that we're out and there's a haircut, I don't know whether it's this, if it's a braids that just aren't quite symmetrical, if it's, you know,

[D]

specifically for boys or she's critical about boys and girls.

[E]

I mean it's boys and girls, but it ends up being more so. Cause I just think that sometimes the most radical hairstyles, the radical things you see are usually on a guy's head.

[D]

So like Kate Hudson's little boy, Ryder, she lets him have really, really long hair. Oh, Katie would like, he almost looks like a girl. He's got that little boy, had the longest hair, I mean like halfway down his back like a little girl would have.

[E]

She would have. No, she would never let that happen. And even if I defended it and said, you know what, just let him do now a little, little kid, you know, that's the parents are deciding that haircut. But if they're older and the kid's deciding what haircut, she would be the one that, well, while I'm not there, would cut the kids hair at home, you know what I mean? Like just, oh, that's not allowed on the head. Yeah, she would do that. Yeah. So I just find it fascinating that she gets so upset about kids haircuts and we would have, the only fights we will have over our children are when they get older and what kind of haircut they have or hair color. Because the thing is, I don't care if a kid wants to dye their hair.

[D]

What if you wanted to put boys in colors that would be typically girl

[A]

colors, like a pink shirt or something?

[E]

We don't really. I mean, I'm just not fashion. I'm not fashionista. So I assume that most of the kids clothes decisions will be made by Katie. But like for her, is it like

[D]

little boys should be in blue and little girls should be in pink?

[E]

Not necessarily.

[D]

No.

[E]

That's. That boy gets her mad.

[A]

I would trust that too. Because unfortunately one of the downfalls of working in radio, you know, is especially in the morning, like it is possible to go a day without seeing any professional person. So you can come in wearing like, I'm wearing jeans and a T shirt. Jen, you're a little bit dressed up.

[E]

Jen's always dressed up.

[A]

You look nice. And Melissa's got like a hoodie on and a T shirt and a ball cap. So I think if you have two.

[D]

Wendy has on a cute hat.

[A]

Yeah. Whitney's been stepping it up. Now she's.

[D]

I mean, yours is cute, but it's a ball cap. Wendy's is a fashion cap. Jeff just skipped right by Wendy, though. I just wanted to say something.

[E]

Well, I know, but I think you're cute, Jen. You're cute, Melissa. God, could you do something with yourself?

[B]

At least you got some form of compliment or some form.

[E]

I don't know. But anyway, go ahead.

[A]

What I was saying is I think if you have, you know, two parents, I would trust the one putting the kid in the outfit who is actually out in public dealing with. I wouldn't never let a radio person dress the dress the kid.

[E]

But the clothes have nothing to do with the conversations. Everything has to do with the hair. I mean, the clothes. I mean, I wouldn't care. I mean, yeah, I don't care, but yeah. So it's just, it's if you are somebody with that shaggy haircut, especially Justin Bieber. If she got Justin Bieber, she'd hold herself. She would have shaved his head by now.

[D]

If she was holding down and cut it.

[E]

Yes. If he was in studio and she was in studio, she would kidnap him and shave his head.

[A]

I remember. So when I was a kid, I don't think I ever had an issue, like with hair. Like, I don't ever remember asking for a certain style haircut. Like, when does that. Does that happen for guys as much as it does for girls?

[D]

Probably not.

[A]

Like, I think she would be able to get away with it with a boy because I mean maybe Justin Bieber's age but I remember going to Bob's Barbershop with my dad and I don't think I ever said a word. I think I just sat down and I think it was a standard issue. Get the basic 8 year old boy haircut.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know and then your hair just naturally parts on one side or the other.

[D]

They're all fancy.

[A]

I also have an enormous head which would make it difficult for them to know.

[E]

Well that's a lot of hair to cover it.

[A]

So like for Katie Jo they would, you know, if she's cutting hair, she would put like a little soup bowl over the kid's head. With me they were actually using hubcaps and stuff.

[D]

Age 6 tires.

[A]

Yes. They would actually go get a tire swing out of the. Or an inner tube that you would take down, you know and go rafting and put it on my head. Well, good luck with the battle that you'll have in several years.

[E]

Right, exactly.

[A]

Here Bircha.