The Bert Show, Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, December 30 [Vault]

Date: December 30, 2025
Show Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and guests
Main Segments: Listener drama about accidental nudity, Jeweler guest investigates real vs. fake jewelry

Episode Overview

This lively episode from The Bert Show vault features the cast tackling a mix of engaging listener dilemmas and in-studio fun, maintaining the authentic, humorous, and slightly irreverent tone fans expect. The core of this episode centers around two themes:

• Embarrassing Listener Drama: A woman, Ashlyn, shares an awkward experience involving her boyfriend, his roommate, and accidental nudity. The cast debates respect and intent in new relationships.
• Jewelry Real or Fake Reveal: Guest expert Annette Esposito from Holly Springs Jewelers joins the studio to authenticate listeners’ jewelry, fueling honest, nervous, and amusing reactions.

Segment 1: Listener Drama – “Did My Boyfriend Set Me Up?”

(Starts at approx. 01:19)

Situation Recap:
Ashlyn recounts how, while staying at her boyfriend’s place, she was led to believe the apartment was empty. He insisted she didn’t need to get dressed just to fetch water from the kitchen – only for her to discover, embarrassingly, that his roommate was indeed there.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Ashlyn Tells Her Story
  (“It was like 11, 11:30, and he asked me to go get us some water...I started putting a sweatshirt on...he's like, 'Oh, no, don't worry about it.' ... I go into the kitchen, and Brad, his roommate, was in the kitchen, and I had no clothes on, and I freaked out, ran back in…” —Ashlyn, 02:00)

• Was it an Innocent Mistake or a Setup?
  The cast argues if Ashlyn’s boyfriend purposely set her up as a joke for his roommate or if it was genuinely accidental.
  (“Was there any way for him to know his roommate was in the kitchen at the time, though?” —Host, 02:49)
  (“He insisted that neither of his roommates were home.” —Ashlyn, 02:59)
  (“Like, he thought it was the most...the most hysterical thing ever.” —Ashlyn, 03:11)

• Respect and Relationship Red Flags
  Different viewpoints emerge on what the incident says about the boyfriend’s maturity and respect for Ashlyn.

  • Crash’s perspective:
    (“...it's kind of funny. I mean, if he knew one of his roommates was home and you were completely naked.” —Crash, 04:00)
    (“Yeah, we're very simplistic. We're amoebas.” —Crash, 04:06)

  • Kristin’s/another cast member's perspective:
    (“If it was intentional...it's disrespectful because it's like he was making a mockery of you.” —A, 05:34)

  • Bert’s take:
    (“If he did that, it's obviously not a guy that...well, you know, I'll use the title of a new book. He's just not that into you.” —Bert, 04:30)

• Focus on the Boyfriend's Reaction, Not Just the Situation
  (“I think that you're more upset by his reaction than what actually happened.” —A, 06:24)
  (“She's mostly upset by the fact that he laughed when she came in and she was upset. That's what she's upset about.” —A, 12:56)

• Advice for Ashlyn

  • Communicate: (“Let him know how you feel...You need to back me up.” —Crash, 08:05)
  • Consider values: (“You're getting to know about him and he's getting to know about you, and you got to determine now is it worth it...” —A, 08:32)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Double Standards:
  “If you're serious about somebody, and you certainly wouldn't talk about your wife like that either.” —D, 07:32

• On Overanalyzing:
  “I think we're analyzing this too much because...even if my partner said don't worry about it, I'm still putting a sweatshirt on if I'm leaving the room.” —A, 06:24

• Comic Relief:
  “You know who this guy is? This guy's the mountain climber on the Price is Right. He was going all the way up the mountain. He just fell off.” —B, 11:01

• On Moving Forward:
  “If it's disrespectful to you, leave dude. Find new dude. But I guess guarantee you right now your honeymoon period is definitely over.” —C, 09:54

Calls & Audience Input

• A caller agrees it’s about respect and possibly a sign of not being serious.
• Another caller questions whether Ashlyn’s feelings are overshadowing the actual event.
• Callers and the cast joke and banter about dating double standards, further relationships, and male/female perspectives on privacy and boundaries.

Timestamps:

• [02:00] Ashlyn’s Story
• [04:00] Was it a prank by the boyfriend?
• [08:05] Direct advice for Ashlyn
• [12:56] Focus on boyfriend's reaction

Segment 2: Jewelry Authenticity – “Is My Ring a Fake?”

(Starts at approx. 17:40)

Guest: Annette Esposito, Holly Springs Jewelers / Gemologist

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Would Listeners Want to Know if Their Jewelry Is Fake? 80% of surveyed women say yes, but most backed out from actually learning the truth (“...one by one, they have dropped out when reality struck.” —D, 17:56)

• Tracy’s Diamond Necklace Story

  • Inherited from her mom; doubts about whether it’s a real diamond since her parents were only 16.

  • Annette examines and confirms:
    (“It’s real. It’s real.” —Annette, 21:02)
    (“Just looking at it, it’s got a pretty big inclusion...that’s probably why he could afford it, too, because it wasn’t...it’s a diamond...” —Annette, 21:09)

  • Education on diamonds:

    • Inclusions explained (flaws inside the diamond)
    • The “four Cs”: Clarity, Cut, Color, Carat
      (“Do you know the scale? Do you know the four Cs?” —B, 21:50)

• Listener Questions for the Gemologist

  • Black light and diamond fluorescence: Confirmed as normal and a sign of a real stone (“...what happens is a lot of diamonds, it’s called fluorescence.” —Annette, 24:36)

• Kristen’s Ring Mystery

  • Received as a Christmas gift, no paperwork, came “on the tree”; suspicious as husband can’t give ring details

  • Annette verifies it is genuine
    (“It’s real.” —Annette, 29:39)
    (“They’re really nice diamonds, too. They’re a little off color, but they’re very, very clean.” —Annette, 29:43)

  • Valuation:
    (“...about $4,700, $5,000.” —Annette, 30:31)

  • Suspicion and Jokes:
    (“The good news is you’ve got a real ring. The bad news is it’s probably stolen.” —B, 30:00) (“He took it off a corpse.” —D, 30:05)

  • Uncovering More Mysteries:

    • One stone is an older cut, possibly reused (“...one of the diamonds is an older cut. It’s called an open culet at the bottom of the stone is open. So they’re not all cut the same.” —Annette, 31:18)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Wouldn’t you want to know the truth one way or the other? Or would you just like to say, you know what, I’m sure it’s real, and talk yourself into believing it is?” —D, 18:46
• “Oh, yeah. Cubic zirconia is going to look a little...purpley to us.” —Annette, 23:56
• On financial mysteries:
  (“He isn’t able to explain money missing, so how did he pay for a ‘real’ diamond?” —paraphrased from C, 28:01*)

Education Highlights

• Inclusions in Diamonds: Natural flaws, make stones less expensive and more likely to be affordable for young or less wealthy buyers.
• Fluorescence: Many diamonds glow under black light, a trait more common than people think.
• Diamond Cuts and Age: Different cuts signify different eras; mix can suggest stones were recycled from older jewelry.

Timestamps:

• [19:21] Tracy’s story and gemologist’s verdict
• [24:36] Black light and diamonds
• [26:11] Kristen’s ring mystery
• [29:39] Verdict: It’s real
• [31:18] One diamond stone is older

Episode’s Underlying Themes & Tone

• Humor & Relatability:
  The cast keeps the tone light, poking fun at themselves, relationships, and traditional gender roles, while also giving space to genuine emotion and concern.
• Authenticity:
  Both segments touch on “knowing the truth,” whether in relationships or with meaningful possessions.

Summary Takeaways

• The Bert Show handles listener drama with both empathy and comic irreverence, giving practical — if sometimes cheeky — advice.
• Relationship boundaries, respect vs. humor, and communication are recurring topics, especially in modern dating.
• The jewelry segment combines listener suspense with real education, demystifying how jewelers spot authenticity.
• The cast’s interplay (“Get some testosterone!”; “Be a dude chick!”) keeps things energetic and unpredictable.

Listeners who missed this episode will get both relatable relationship advice and some fascinating tidbits on diamonds — all wrapped up in the characteristic Bert Show banter.