Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, February 24 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, February 24 [Vault]

Episode Overview The tone of this episode is upbeat and candid, with the Bert Show cast diving into listener-driven drama, playful discussions, and laugh-out-loud stories. Their hallmark authenticity shines as they tackle workplace rumors, a colorful catch-up with recurring caller Play A K, and a lively debate on extravagant spending for pets. It’s a rollercoaster of curiosity, humor, and a peek into both the hosts' and listeners’ real-life experiences.

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1. Workplace Curiosity: “Rumor Has It…”

Timestamps: 01:16 – 07:52

Main Discussion Points

• The hosts introduce a segment where they investigate listeners’ burning curiosities that people don't have the nerve to ask directly—offering to make awkward phone calls on their behalf (01:16).
• Caller Rachel requests help about a mysterious coworker rumored to have dated and been engaged to the boss’s son, allegedly resulting in her seeming to get a management job without the usual work all salespeople endure (02:02).
• The team debates how best to ask tough questions—whether to go straight at the rumor or take a more subtle approach, ultimately musing about the persistence of high school dynamics in adult workplaces.

Notable Quotes

• Host 2: “Every office is basically a petri dish of rumors, isn’t it? The truth lies probably four layers underneath what the rumor is.” (05:47)
• Host 2: “Do we ever really evolve from our freshman year of high school?...We mature, but we’re still catty. We’re still starting rumors about each other.” (06:19)
• Host 3: “This is how rumors are started right here. This is perfect.” (07:35)

Memorable Moments

• The hosts tease each other over “beating around the bush,” spiraling into laughter as Host 4 stumbles over phrases and innuendo (08:20–08:54).

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2. Checking In with Play A K: “Jailhouse Drama & Wild Parties”

Timestamps: 09:04 – 15:53

Main Discussion Points

• Play A K calls in for an update on his legal woes and wild entertainment career. He humorously recounts having to balance jail time, performing at a Kentucky concert, flat tires, and having to bail out his six dancers who got arrested for indecent exposure at a nightclub (09:04–14:49).
• The segment veers into jail snack culture, junk food vending machines in cells, and Bert’s love of snacks.

Notable Quotes

• Play A K: “They blaming me for it the whole ride. You razor. Our r blew out our car. I’m like, no, y'all supposed to put all of your car.” (11:41)
• Host 2: “It sounds to me like the only place you can really get away from the drama is in jail.” (13:50)
• Play A K: “That ain’t gonna work. It’s drama in jail too.” (14:02)
• Host 4 (joking about jail snacks): “You ever fall asleep and next thing you know, somebody’s trying to reach into your jacket and take your honey bun?” (14:18)
• Play A K (on vending machines): “They got a vending machine inside your cell… They just getting rich in jail.” (14:23)

Memorable Moments

• Play A K’s colorful storytelling keeps the hosts laughing, especially the saga of bailing out his dancers and all the mishaps on the way to and at the Kentucky club.
• The group riffs about snacking habits, vending machines, and Bert possibly sneaking into one to get snacks (15:11–15:31).

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3. Extreme Pet Spending: How Much Is Too Much?

Timestamps: 18:33 – 25:28

Main Discussion Points

• The hosts ask listeners: “Who has spent the most on their pet?” and welcome stories, whether about surgery, luxury items, or celebrations (18:33).
• A news clip plays about a Manhattan man throwing a $10,000 “bark mitzvah” (bar mitzvah for his dog), complete with a yarmulke, cake, and Louis Vuitton collar and leash (19:04–21:14).
• Callers share personal anecdotes:
  • Ronnie spent $4,400 on back surgery for a young dog (21:35).
  • Trisha recounts spending $10,000 on her dachshund’s surgeries and routine care (22:35).
  • Mary describes her boss spending $14,000 (and counting) to save a 13-year-old cat mauled by a dog, demonstrating devotion to animals over financial practicality (23:19).
• The hosts weigh emotional attachment and financial practicality—wondering at what point it’s “too much.”

Notable Quotes

• Host 2: “For $10,000, I mean, for surgery, there are a lot of people that think it’s a family member. So would you ask the same question about your son or your daughter? No. You just do what you got to do…” (22:58)
• Host 3: “You just have to personally know what line you’ll draw when it comes to when they get sick, what you’ll do.” (24:17)

Memorable Moments

• A story about a $200 hamster X-ray (and parents soothing a devastated little girl) prompts a string of hamster jokes about X-rays and vet bills (24:38–25:19).

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4. Tone and Banter: The Bert Show’s Signature Realness

Throughout the episode, the cast interlaces the segments with self-deprecation, mutual roasting, and relatable asides. They keep the mood buoyant even as they touch on more serious themes like workplace suspicion or weighing a pet’s life against bank accounts.

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Key Timestamps for Easy Reference

• [01:16] Workplace Rumor Segment intro
• [02:02] Rachel explains her office suspicion
• [05:47] Hosts debate rumor-mongering in offices
• [09:04] Play A K's jail and party saga begins
• [14:18] Jail snack banter
• [18:33] Pet spending challenge introduced
• [19:04–21:14] $10,000 “bark mitzvah” story
• [21:35] First pet surgery caller
• [22:35] Second pet surgery caller
• [23:19] $14,000 cat story
• [24:38] Hamster X-ray story for comic relief

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Final Notes

This episode delivers exactly what the Bert Show promises: authentic humor, listener engagement, relatable drama, and a peek behind the curtain of everyday lives. Whether commiserating over office rumors, laughing at jail mishaps, or marveling at pet devotion, the hosts keep it real, funny, and warm—making your morning more bearable (and a bit more outrageous).

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Advertiser/Announcer]

like the American Express Platinum card. Find out your welcome offer after you apply, which could be as high as 175,000 points. Learn more and find out your [e-mail] explorer Platinum terms apply. Hey, the bird show.

[Host 2]

We want to get the answers for you guys that you don't have the guts to get yourself. You're curious. How'd she get that car? How'd you get that promotion? Is she dating that dude in the office?

[Host 3]

And you almost feel guilty about being as curious as you are because you're like, well, it's none of my business. I don't really need. But sometimes you just need to know.

[Host 2]

You just need to know. It's not your business, but it's human nature. So what we're offering is we'll make the call for you. You give us a list of 10 questions we will ask this person for you, and we'll ask them the questions, and if they answer them honestly, then we're good to go. Then you'll get your answers.

[Host 3]

Now, if they're. If this person in question is reluctant to come on with us, we could still give them a different name and put them on the voices geyser.

[Host 2]

Sure. Absolutely.

[Host 3]

Everybody can remain in our answers that we need. Right.

[Host 2]

Rachel wants to be put on the voice disguiser. Hello, Rachel.

[Caller/Rachel]

Hello. How are you?

[Host 2]

Good. How are you today?

[Caller/Rachel]

I'm good.

[Host 2]

So who are we Talking about here?

[Caller/Rachel]

Well, there's this co worker in my office, and there's been this rumor going around that she used to date. Well, she used to be engaged to our boss, who's the owner of the company, his son. And that he had like a horrible breakup and he basically kind of dumped her at the altar. So the owner of my company felt bad for her and gave her this management position at our sales office. Because the way it works is like, everybody has to put like a certain number of hours, you know, like hitting the streets, basically, like out on the field, doing door to door, you know, kind of pounding the pavement. And she didn't have to do that. She just came right in as a manager. And there's about like 18 people at my company that do sales, and all of us have had to go through that but her.

[Host 2]

We have to be really questioned in our. Really delicate. In our line of questioning because we don't want to give it away.

[Host 3]

Right.

[Host 4]

You know, but what are we gonna give away? Like, why can't we just go out

[Host 2]

the office who she is?

[Host 4]

Oh, you mean her questioning here or questioning tomorrow?

[Host 2]

Both.

[Host 4]

Because tomorrow, can't we just say, hey, the rumor is you got this job because of blah, blah. Is that true?

[Host 2]

No, because then I think she'll. Or he. She. She. Right. Will deny it.

[Caller/Rachel]

Yes, he.

[Host 2]

So I think we have to be a little bit smarter in our line of questioning because she's just saying no, of course not. Even if it's true.

[Host 4]

Hmm.

[Host 2]

Humph.

[Host 4]

I think you have to come right out and ask her.

[Host 2]

I think that could be like Our question number 10, if we're not getting to what we want. Okay, so there's some nepotism going on. Here she comes right into the office. Let me get this straight. She is the boss's daughter. No, no, boss's son's girlfriend.

[Caller/Rachel]

Well, this is the rumor anyway, that she was engaged to the boss's son and that he, you know, like they had planned the wedding and all made all the arrangements and everything, and then he called it off. And I guess she was close to the family or whatever. So then the father gave her this job.

[Host 2]

Wow. Okay.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Host 2]

That'll anger everybody in the office.

[Caller/Rachel]

She doesn't talk to anyone in the office. Like, she's really quiet, keeps to herself, you know, so it's like she's hiding something and she doesn't. Then she sucks at her job. Like, to be honest with you, you know, like, she doesn't. It's obvious that she hasn't had any sales Experience. And so it's like, why did he just hand her this management position? She has a company car. You know what I mean? It's like a kind of a cake job.

[Host 3]

So we could ask her.

[Caller/Rachel]

No experience.

[Host 3]

We could ask her maybe more about her experience that allowed her to get the job. Maybe that would be a way to kind of lead into it. You know what I mean?

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

So what experience do you have in sales to get you to this position?

[Host 2]

Have you climbed even to start. Have you climbed up the corporate ladder fat? Why have you climbed up the corporate ladder faster than everybody else? Yeah, she'll probably give us something very generic like, I just work harder.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 4]

Yeah, we're gonna have to come right on that question.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 4]

Were you engaged? Is it. Is it confirmed that she was engaged to the owner's son, or is that a rumor?

[Caller/Rachel]

It's just a rumor. Like, all of everything is, like, rumored because she doesn't talk to anybody. And, you know, so it's like we can. I don't know, she just, like, closes her door in her office and. You know what I mean? It's just kind of like a mystery how she just showed up here.

[Host 4]

So it's going to be over, and it's going to be three questions long.

[Host 3]

So I'm fascinated by the story that he's evolved. You don't even know if she was engaged to the boss's son. You just assume so. I mean, she may not have even dated him. Right.

[Caller/Rachel]

Well, I don't know if maybe somebody in my office knows a little bit more, and that's how it's. Or nobody wants to stay, you know, but anyways, that's the rumor.

[Host 2]

Every office is basically a petri dish of rumors, isn't it? I mean, and the truth lies probably four layers underneath what the rumor is.

[Host 3]

Right.

[Host 2]

You know, so maybe they dated at one point in college, you know what I'm saying?

[Host 3]

And now it's grown to the point where they were engaged and broke off the wedding.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Host 3]

You left her at the sympathy job.

[Host 4]

They might not even know each other like that.

[Host 2]

And it could just be one. One jealous co worker that didn't get the promotion that she thought that she was gonna get.

[Host 3]

Right.

[Host 2]

It's not like I've said before. How many times have we said this on the show? Do we ever really evolve from our freshman year of high school? Our personalities, socially, we pretty much stay the same. We mature, but we're still catty. We're still starting rumors about each other.

[Host 3]

I think it's funny, is that there's even the interpretation on why she shuts the door. You know, she's got something high because she shuts her office door. Well, she might be on a conference call that she doesn't want displayed into the. You know, or be loud in the office because, you know, if you like your boss and they shut the door. Well, that's real cool because we all have our own privacy, and this is a great office to work in.

[Host 2]

Or maybe she's.

[Host 4]

Maybe she just disgusted because she heard someone in the office slept with the boss's son. And she's like, I don't even want to know who that is.

[Caller/Rachel]

I'm just going to go in here

[Host 4]

and shut my door.

[Host 3]

Has anybody tried to make friends with her? He said she's going to. Quiet. Keeps to herself.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Caller/Rachel]

Like, most of us order lunch together. We, like, go in. So no, you're like, hi, we're ordering from da da da. Do you want anything today? No, I'm fine. You know, she doesn't want lunch for drinks after work. Do you want to come? And she's like, no. So we've kind of stopped asking her

[Host 3]

because it's like, sounds shady. Because she won't order lunch with you.

[Host 2]

There's definitely something going on.

[Host 3]

She might be on a diet or something.

[Caller/Rachel]

Seems like she's hiding something and, like, she won't. Like, we all talk about work, and she never joins in on that. She's just like, all right, well, this

[Host 2]

is how rumors are started right here. This is perfect. Let me put you on hold. We will talk to you after the show, and we'll start to align some questions that we will. And hopefully she'll come on with us tomorrow. We'll put her on the voice disguiser, too, so she knows that nobody will know in Atlanta who she is. And then we'll try to get the answers for you.

[Guest/Play A K]

Okay, cool.

[Caller/Rachel]

Thanks.

[Host 2]

Okay, thank you. I think that's a good one to chew on for the first time.

[Host 3]

I think so too. I just think that list of questions is gonna be hard.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

It is.

[Host 4]

It's gonna be three questions.

[Host 2]

Like, I think if we.

[Host 4]

Were you ever engaged to the owner of your company's son?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Mm.

[Host 2]

But she could always say no. Nope. Never even happened. She could lie. But I'm trying to think of some kind of question to where we get clarity without actually point blank asking the question.

[Host 4]

This has to. This is dirty work. We're getting dirty.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 4]

We have to ask the point blank question. We beat around the bush. All we're gonna do is End up beaten around the bush. Everybody beat the.

[Host 3]

No wonder John McCain.

[Host 4]

I need to think of another way to say that if we beat around the bush. Stop, Stop.

[Host 3]

Everybody stop laughing at me.

[Host 2]

We're just joining the whole city if

[Host 4]

we beat around the bush. You know what I'm trying to say?

[Host 3]

We're not gonna get the answers we need, right?

[Host 4]

All we're gonna end up with is a bush. That's been. Who wants that?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Hey, the Bird Show.

[Host 2]

Hey, Playa K. Yeah, what's the matter, bubby?

[Host 4]

The big house getting you down somethin up?

[Guest/Play A K]

No, no, it ain't like that. What's going on, y'?

[Caller/Rachel]

All?

[Host 2]

Y' all remember Play A K? Playa K was rightly accused driving under the influence.

[Host 4]

Hey, you saw Shawshank. Everybody in there is innocent now.

[Host 2]

He even said. Said, I'm not innocent. He's driving around all jacked up with his face on the side of his own van. So the last time we talked to Play A K, he did a weekend, I think, in. In jail, and it's been a couple of weeks since he checked in with us, and he just decided to call us and make sure we were doing okay, and he's doing okay. How are you today, sir?

[Guest/Play A K]

Good. I'm good. I'm good today. I'm blessed.

[Host 2]

You're blessed?

[Guest/Play A K]

Always.

[Host 2]

Did you spend the weekend in the cage this weekend?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

No.

[Host 2]

You did not.

[Host 3]

So it's not consecutive weekends, or is it like when you told us before where if they didn't have room for you, they sent you home?

[Guest/Play A K]

Well, it's supposed to be cassettes of weekends, but, like, last weekend, I had a concert to do in Kentucky.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Guest/Play A K]

So I talked to my own probation officer, and, like, it was cool for me to go do that. Then when I came back, I talked to him, and he was like, will, you owe us $500? And I ain't had the money to pay them. So, like, they like, well, we needed you to do a whole week in jail, plus the weekends to make up for the 500. So I'm like, instead of paying you guys 500, I'm just gonna sit in jail for a week. I'm like, that sounds more like it. And, like, I'm not gonna give y' all my 500 on app to.

[Host 3]

Yeah, but you're like a big. A big artist. I mean, you got money from your show, right?

[Guest/Play A K]

I got money from the show, but I had to run all my girls out of jail that all my dancers got locked up. I got six dancers, man. This is the craziest show I ever went and did in my life. Okay, I'm going.

[Host 3]

Kentucky's pretty wild.

[Guest/Play A K]

Yeah, I'm going to Kentucky. I'm on the way to Kentucky, you know, I'm in my van with my pitch on the side. Got the girls riding with me and everything. So I got two more girls following me in their car on the way to Kentucky. I get a flat tire. I have no spare.

[Host 4]

So I'm like, that's embarrassing when you got your face on the van. You got to pull over with. You're driving around with a donut on your car, and you got your face on the side of it.

[Guest/Play A K]

Yeah, I ain't getting no donut. I went and bought a brand new tire. So I pulled over and bought a brand new tire.

[Host 3]

Well, that's where your 500 went.

[Guest/Play A K]

So we back on the expressway, and the girls behind me, engine blow out. They had a 2008 kill, but they just didn't put no oil in their car. And they blaming me for it. I'm like, I'm not Jiffy Lube. I'm sorry. They blaming me for it the whole ride. You razor. Our r blew out our car. I'm like, no, y' all supposed to put all of your car. So you leave.

[Host 2]

Well, at least in Georgia, I mean, blowing up your engine isn't a offense that can get you in jail. So how did that happen?

[Guest/Play A K]

Okay, so we get to the concert, we do the show, and the vip, the girls, you know what I'm saying, Dancing and stuff before the concert. And they started taking off their clothes. Cause young Buck come there. Young Buck in the vip, so they started taking off their clothes and stuff. And the police came in. Cause the club was too packed. And saw the girls, you know what I'm saying, Naked. And they gave them indecent exposure.

[Host 2]

Oh, damn it.

[Guest/Play A K]

Yeah, so I had to go all of them out. Spent all my show money to one of them out. I'm like, I should have left y' all up here.

[Host 2]

All right, so this isn't. This wasn't a strip club. This was just a regular bar. Regular club.

[Guest/Play A K]

Yeah. This was a regular nightclub. They turned it into a strip club. So my girls are wild. They dance. You know what I'm saying? They go crazy.

[Host 2]

So they just got too excited. Young Buck was there, and they just started taking their clothes off. And that's when the cops nailed them.

[Guest/Play A K]

Yeah, that's. That's when they were. They were dancing for about an hour before the cops came in, though, because the club was packed. Because it Was a concert like I was opening up for Young Buck.

[Host 4]

Were they totally naked, like head to toe?

[Guest/Play A K]

Yeah, everything black booty.

[Host 4]

Didn't you. Didn't you have these same girls at Hayden's birthday party?

[Host 2]

I can't tell you how many times this happens to me. Yeah, I can't even tell you at

[Host 4]

a club and start dancing next thing.

[Host 2]

Yeah, naked all around me, naked.

[Host 4]

Not putting oil on their car. Why don't you put your clothes on and go pour a quart of oil in the car?

[Host 2]

So how much did it cost you to bail them all out, man?

[Guest/Play A K]

It was like 2,500.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Oh,

[Guest/Play A K]

yeah. So that's when I get back in the police office like, you owe us 500. I'm like, man, I can't afford it right now. I gotta pay mortgage and all kind of bills. I got everything going on. So it's like, well, you gotta do a week in jail plus the weekends. I'm like, I only got three more weekends. Okay, well, you're gonna do a week on top of it.

[Host 2]

It sounds to me like the only place you can really get away from the drama is in jail. So if I were you, I would just go, okay, take. I can't deal with the outside world. Put me in there for three days. Uh, no, no, you'd rather deal with the drama.

[Guest/Play A K]

That ain't gonna work. It's drama in jail too.

[Host 3]

Yeah, I bet they be trying to

[Guest/Play A K]

take your snacks and stuff.

[Host 4]

What kind of snacks do you get?

[Guest/Play A K]

You get honey buns and cookies and potato chips.

[Host 4]

So what do you do? Like, you fall asleep and next thing you know, somebody's trying to reach into your jacket and take your honey bun.

[Guest/Play A K]

No, it'd be like up under the. Up under the bed, like, inside your bin, you have a bean and stuff with all your snacks in it. They got a vending machine inside your cell, like, and they got a drink machine inside your cell. Like, they just getting rich in jail.

[Host 2]

Well, you told us last night before you went to jail, though, you, like, rolled a big old fatty and went in there. So that must have been sort of

[Guest/Play A K]

like, can you imagine if you got the munches? You can go in there and get all your snacks and stuff what you want, but it costs way more than they do at the store. $2 for a bag of chips. They cost, like, $4 for, like, no microwave hamburgers.

[Host 4]

And you don't have any quarters on you. And you. And you lit that up before you went in. And you're just with your face on the glass licking where The Doritos are.

[Guest/Play A K]

What are you saying? Lick on some glass? What are you saying?

[Host 2]

My hand would get stuck in that vending machine trying to grab it out more often than not. Yeah, well, you can do what you

[Host 4]

do in the kitchen. Like Bert sometimes when he wants a snack. You ever see the video of the kids who just climb into the vending machine? Bert's done that in our kitchen.

[Guest/Play A K]

I think he rolled a fatty this morning.

[Host 2]

I'm not saying one way or the other. I play. Okay, so when's the next time you're in jail?

[Guest/Play A K]

I gotta go Thursday to my poetry office, and they're gonna let me know when I gotta do the week.

[Host 2]

Okay, good luck on that, dude.

[Host 3]

Hey, let us know if you gotta go in for the week.

[Guest/Play A K]

I'll let you know.

[Host 4]

And when you do the week, call us collect from jail.

[Guest/Play A K]

I'm gonna call on Burton cell phone.

[Host 2]

All right, I'll give you my number. You call me collect.

[Caller/Rachel]

Okay.

[Guest/Play A K]

That's what's up.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

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[Host 1]

I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Host 2]

Hi there.

[Host 1]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[Host 1]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge, so the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[Host 1]

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in U.S. cellular stories. Best mobile network based on analysis by Oogle of Speedtest Intelligence data at 2H 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk, text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details. ABC Wednesday in comedian Nate Brigetzi's new game show to win, you don't need

[Host 2]

to know the right answer, just what

[Caller/Rachel]

most Americans think is right.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

It's not about being the smartest.

[Host 2]

You just have to be the most average.

[Caller/Rachel]

We asked 100 average Americans, do they keep an empty gas can in their car?

[Host 1]

No.

[Caller/Rachel]

Have they ever broken a bone?

[Host 4]

No.

[Host 2]

I said a lot of no.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

That's all right. My wife says a lot of no as well. The greatest Average American premieres Wednesday, 9, 8 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[Host 2]

Looking for the person that has spent the most amount of money on their pet. I mean, and this could be anything. This could be a surgery. This could be the pet itself, maybe

[Host 3]

on their clothes or their collars or leashes.

[Host 2]

I mean, because sometimes, I mean those leashes, I mean some of them are thousands of dollars.

[Host 3]

Oh yeah. I mean you can buy designer stuff for your dog. So it could be like Gucci coach, you know, whatever.

[Host 2]

Could be a party for your dog or your cat. Also like this dude did I think up in New York.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Some say this Manhattan man was barking up the wrong tree when he planned this party for his pet. But that didn't stop him from going over the top. It may look like your traditional bar mitzvah video, but this party is like no other. That's because the guest of honor is not a 13 year old kid, but actually one very spoiled dog named Elvis. Whatever it is, money is no object for Elvis. David Best is Elvis's owner and says he he's so proud of his pooch he decided to throw him a bark mitzvah. I think he's extremely handsome. He's got a great personality. Everybody loves Elvis. So I wanted to really show him off in that kind of setting. 100 guests were invited, including celebrities like Dr. Ruth and Patti LuPone, David even had a special surprise guest for Elvis. The breeder from Connecticut brought his mother. We actually had a corsage for the mother around the neck. Keeping with the tradition, the video includes Elvis reading from the Torah,

[Host 2]

A bar

[Advertiser/Announcer]

mitzvah speech, and even a bar mitzvah cake. So what does one wear to such a party? A prayer shawl and yarmulke, of course. We got him a little from the Jewish museum here in New York. We got him a little suede yarmulke. And don't forget the gift. I have to admit, I guess for his 13th birthday, I had to go over the top. Then I did get him a Louis Vuitton doll collar and leash. The grand total for this big bash, I think it roughly came to $10,000. So what does David say to people who think he's nuts for spending ten grand on a pod party for his dog? I tell everybody, you know, if you think you're over the top, you have to have a dog or you have to have a pet to really know what it's all about. But after all is said and done, David feels it was money well spent. We knew the day we met we're going to be best friends for life.

[Host 2]

People all over the world starving.

[Host 3]

I mean, some people just have too much money. Seriously. On a bark.

[Host 4]

I think that guy too much money was on what was America's Most Talented Dog. Remember that show or something like that? Like, he was. I think I remember that guy from being on there because he had a tiny little yip yip dog. Yeah, you could see the video. Yeah.

[Host 2]

Morning, Ronnie. You're on Q100. How much did you spend on your pet? Now, this can go on anything.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Surgery.

[Host 2]

The pet itself.

[Host 1]

Yeah, it was definitely surgery. It was $4,400.

[Host 2]

4,400 bucks. What was wrong with your dog?

[Host 1]

He had discovered problems, and they had

[Guest/Play A K]

to go in there and correct a

[Host 1]

couple of discs in the vertebrae and get his neck lined and fixed up, you know? So my choice was either put him to sleep or fix him. And I just didn't see that as an option.

[Host 4]

See, I'm okay. Oh, go ahead.

[Host 3]

I was just gonna say how old when he had those surgeries?

[Host 1]

He just had it last year and he was six.

[Host 3]

Yeah. That's still really young. Because I sort of question sometimes when a dog is like 12 and 13, when people are still doing those elaborate surgeries for them, it's like, let them go gracefully. Yeah. They're kind of at the end. It's hard, though. It's hard to make that decision.

[Host 2]

It is.

[Host 4]

I'm okay. Spending as much money as you can spare. If you're gonna put it on your credit cards or whatever for surgery, go for it.

[Host 3]

But the Park Mitzvah save Fido.

[Host 2]

Good morning. Q100.

[Host 1]

Hey, Trisha. I spent about $10,000.

[Caller/Rachel]

All in all, with everything.

[Host 1]

Last year he had back surgery. I have a little doctor named Bailey. He, he is going to be 11 and the surgery was 5,006. Visits before and after were 500 a piece. And then you figure shots every year for almost 11 years and food, but nothing flamboyant like a dark mitzvah.

[Host 2]

But for $10,000, I mean, for surgery, I mean, there are a lot of people that think it's a family member. So would you ask the same question about your son or your daughter? No. You just do what you got to do and you find the money somewhere.

[Host 3]

I bet you just offended a bunch of people. You're like, well, you know what? A dog is not a son or a daughter. But to some people think it is, that is their child.

[Host 1]

Hey, Mary.

[Host 2]

Good morning. How much do you spend on your dog?

[Caller/Rachel]

Good morning.

[Host 1]

It's actually my boss who loves, loves, loves animals and he had a cat that is 13 years old get mauled by a dog, took it to the vet and has thus far sent over $14,000. And it's not done on the cat. On a 13 year old cat.

[Host 4]

Now, whose dog was it? Will there be any legal action? Anything or.

[Host 1]

It was the next door neighbor. And my boss is actually an attorney, but he's a really nice southern gentleman and is not asking for any assistance whatsoever.

[Host 2]

Is that right?

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Now, keep in mind, this is at his barn where he has about 25 other cats.

[Host 2]

Really? Yes. So this guy is obvious he's loaded with cash.

[Host 1]

Not really, but he picks up strays. He actually feeds them every day on his way home and when they get nice enough to come up to him, he takes them up to his barn.

[Host 2]

No kidding. $14,000 on a cat that's 13 years old. Unreal. Thank you for calling. There are some people I'm sure listening right now going, yeah, of course.

[Host 3]

Yeah, I mean, it is, but it's a tough, it is a tough decision because you have, you just have to personally know what line you'll draw when it comes to when they get sick, what you'll do. But yeah, I have plenty of friends that probably have spent at least that much on their animals for medical reasons as well.

[Host 2]

Producer Lyndall what's up, Danica?

[Host 3]

Damn it.

[Host 1]

When I was in high school, my

[Advertiser/Announcer]

little sister had a hamster.

[Host 1]

And oh no, the hamster all of

[Host 3]

a sudden was not doing so hot in its little hamster ball.

[Host 1]

So my mom and dad took it to the vet because my little sister was distraught.

[Host 3]

And they ended up spending a couple

[Host 1]

hundred dollars to get the hamster an

[Host 3]

X ray and an ultrasound just for them to tell it that it has cancer. But that's how most rodents die anyways,

[Host 1]

so my parents wasted all this money

[Host 2]

on and my sister's hamster.

[Host 1]

Just makes it feel better.

[Host 2]

Is that a hamster X ray? It must be this big.

[Host 3]

I know.

[Host 2]

Little X rays are this big.

[Host 3]

Let me put it under the light. Wait here. I need to find glass.

[Host 4]

I bet they didn't even X ray it. I bet they just put it in like a toaster oven for a minute and they're like, okay, we're giving it an X ray scan.

[Host 3]

It's gotta be cancer to be that vet. That's like, you owe us this much

[Host 1]

money and we just scanned your little thing that's like maybe 3 inches big.

[Host 4]

How about the person who took the $11 animal in and spent $400? Get it?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

The bird show.

[Host 1]

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Host 2]

Hi there.

[Host 1]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[Host 1]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[Host 1]

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best mobile network based on analysis by Oogle of speed test intelligence data at 2H2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.