The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, February 24 [Vault]

Episode Overview The tone of this episode is upbeat and candid, with the Bert Show cast diving into listener-driven drama, playful discussions, and laugh-out-loud stories. Their hallmark authenticity shines as they tackle workplace rumors, a colorful catch-up with recurring caller Play A K, and a lively debate on extravagant spending for pets. It’s a rollercoaster of curiosity, humor, and a peek into both the hosts' and listeners’ real-life experiences.

1. Workplace Curiosity: “Rumor Has It…”

Timestamps: 01:16 – 07:52

Main Discussion Points

• The hosts introduce a segment where they investigate listeners’ burning curiosities that people don't have the nerve to ask directly—offering to make awkward phone calls on their behalf (01:16).
• Caller Rachel requests help about a mysterious coworker rumored to have dated and been engaged to the boss’s son, allegedly resulting in her seeming to get a management job without the usual work all salespeople endure (02:02).
• The team debates how best to ask tough questions—whether to go straight at the rumor or take a more subtle approach, ultimately musing about the persistence of high school dynamics in adult workplaces.

Notable Quotes

• Host 2: “Every office is basically a petri dish of rumors, isn’t it? The truth lies probably four layers underneath what the rumor is.” (05:47)
• Host 2: “Do we ever really evolve from our freshman year of high school?...We mature, but we’re still catty. We’re still starting rumors about each other.” (06:19)
• Host 3: “This is how rumors are started right here. This is perfect.” (07:35)

Memorable Moments

• The hosts tease each other over “beating around the bush,” spiraling into laughter as Host 4 stumbles over phrases and innuendo (08:20–08:54).

2. Checking In with Play A K: “Jailhouse Drama & Wild Parties”

Timestamps: 09:04 – 15:53

Main Discussion Points

• Play A K calls in for an update on his legal woes and wild entertainment career. He humorously recounts having to balance jail time, performing at a Kentucky concert, flat tires, and having to bail out his six dancers who got arrested for indecent exposure at a nightclub (09:04–14:49).
• The segment veers into jail snack culture, junk food vending machines in cells, and Bert’s love of snacks.

Notable Quotes

• Play A K: “They blaming me for it the whole ride. You razor. Our r blew out our car. I’m like, no, y'all supposed to put all of your car.” (11:41)
• Host 2: “It sounds to me like the only place you can really get away from the drama is in jail.” (13:50)
• Play A K: “That ain’t gonna work. It’s drama in jail too.” (14:02)
• Host 4 (joking about jail snacks): “You ever fall asleep and next thing you know, somebody’s trying to reach into your jacket and take your honey bun?” (14:18)
• Play A K (on vending machines): “They got a vending machine inside your cell… They just getting rich in jail.” (14:23)

Memorable Moments

• Play A K’s colorful storytelling keeps the hosts laughing, especially the saga of bailing out his dancers and all the mishaps on the way to and at the Kentucky club.
• The group riffs about snacking habits, vending machines, and Bert possibly sneaking into one to get snacks (15:11–15:31).

3. Extreme Pet Spending: How Much Is Too Much?

Timestamps: 18:33 – 25:28

Main Discussion Points

• The hosts ask listeners: “Who has spent the most on their pet?” and welcome stories, whether about surgery, luxury items, or celebrations (18:33).
• A news clip plays about a Manhattan man throwing a $10,000 “bark mitzvah” (bar mitzvah for his dog), complete with a yarmulke, cake, and Louis Vuitton collar and leash (19:04–21:14).
• Callers share personal anecdotes:
  • Ronnie spent $4,400 on back surgery for a young dog (21:35).
  • Trisha recounts spending $10,000 on her dachshund’s surgeries and routine care (22:35).
  • Mary describes her boss spending $14,000 (and counting) to save a 13-year-old cat mauled by a dog, demonstrating devotion to animals over financial practicality (23:19).
• The hosts weigh emotional attachment and financial practicality—wondering at what point it’s “too much.”

Notable Quotes

• Host 2: “For $10,000, I mean, for surgery, there are a lot of people that think it’s a family member. So would you ask the same question about your son or your daughter? No. You just do what you got to do…” (22:58)
• Host 3: “You just have to personally know what line you’ll draw when it comes to when they get sick, what you’ll do.” (24:17)

Memorable Moments

• A story about a $200 hamster X-ray (and parents soothing a devastated little girl) prompts a string of hamster jokes about X-rays and vet bills (24:38–25:19).

4. Tone and Banter: The Bert Show’s Signature Realness

Throughout the episode, the cast interlaces the segments with self-deprecation, mutual roasting, and relatable asides. They keep the mood buoyant even as they touch on more serious themes like workplace suspicion or weighing a pet’s life against bank accounts.

Key Timestamps for Easy Reference

• [01:16] Workplace Rumor Segment intro
• [02:02] Rachel explains her office suspicion
• [05:47] Hosts debate rumor-mongering in offices
• [09:04] Play A K's jail and party saga begins
• [14:18] Jail snack banter
• [18:33] Pet spending challenge introduced
• [19:04–21:14] $10,000 “bark mitzvah” story
• [21:35] First pet surgery caller
• [22:35] Second pet surgery caller
• [23:19] $14,000 cat story
• [24:38] Hamster X-ray story for comic relief

Final Notes

This episode delivers exactly what the Bert Show promises: authentic humor, listener engagement, relatable drama, and a peek behind the curtain of everyday lives. Whether commiserating over office rumors, laughing at jail mishaps, or marveling at pet devotion, the hosts keep it real, funny, and warm—making your morning more bearable (and a bit more outrageous).