The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, February 3 [Vault]

Aired: February 3, 2026
Host: Burt (+ cast: Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Ashley, Jeff, Brian, Mandy, and callers)
Episode Theme:
This episode delves into relationships tested by adventurous travel, financial compromises in couples, safety in solo/global journeys, as well as an insightful debate on the double standards male teachers face in schools. The cast balances real-life drama, lighthearted storytelling, and listener input in its trademark humorous, candid style.

Main Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Relationship & World Travel Adventure with Mandy & Brian

Timestamps: 00:00–14:10

Premise

• Mandy and Brian, a couple of 1.5 years, share their upcoming plans to sell their possessions and travel the world together—an adventure that will test both their relationship and practical planning skills.

Key Discussion Points

• Travel as a Relationship Stress Test
  • “If you can travel well together, you can do okay.” – Burt (00:24)
  • Jeff and Burt discuss how traveling together exposes the real dynamics of a couple, beyond first-date politeness.
• Mandy & Brian’s Journey
  • Attempted to leave earlier, but Mandy initially backed out due to anxiety about leaving everything behind; this led to a breakup and reconciliation.
  • Now, they're preparing to leave in May, actively working on finding a renter and pooling resources.
• Logistics & Finances
  • Pooling Money: Joint checking account to manage shared expenses, avoiding petty disputes – “We just put in equal amounts of money, and everything we buy on the trip comes out of that.” – Brian (05:50)
  • Budgeting Tensions: Discussion of the inevitable debates over spending, accommodations, and the need for compromise.
• Prior Travel Experience
  • A few trips together (Miami, Boston, a cruise, camping)—but nothing as extended or stressful as a world trip.
• Camping Anecdote
  • Mandy admits to misjudging a campsite location but notes, “We just had a lot of time to sit around and hang out... let’s play Yahtzee again…” (06:31)
  • Reflection that in long-term travel, minor annoyances may escalate.
• Advice and Concerns
  • Callers and hosts discuss travel insurance (AirMed, InsureMyTrip.com), importance of medical evacuation coverage, and parental anxieties.
• Family Dynamics
  • Mandy says her family finds the trip “cool and adventurous” in concept, but worry about her absence.
  • “They kind of admitted that it’s cool... but in that selfish, you know, kind of thing... we want you here with us.” – Mandy (09:53)
• Future Plans
  • Duration is open, aiming for "a year and a half" or until the money runs out.
  • A call for a home for their foster cat, with playful ribbing as Burt is (jokingly) volunteered to adopt it.

Notable Quotes

• “Once I get rid of everything, I’m kind of gone.” – Mandy (04:31)
• “If you’re talking to Verizon, see if you can get us out of our contract, too.” – Brian (12:31)
• “We have a cat to get rid of.” – Mandy (13:13)
• “We’ll find somebody to take your cat.” – Burt (13:45)

2. Debate: Double Standards for Male vs. Female Teachers

Timestamps: 14:10–29:10

Premise

• A discussion emerges around a news item: male teachers often face suspicion or stricter scrutiny regarding one-on-one interactions with students, compared to female teachers.

Key Discussion Points

• Male Teachers & Perceptions
  • Male teachers are encouraged never to be alone with students to avoid misinterpretation; often ask female colleagues to be present.
  • Male elementary teachers avoid physical contact (e.g., changing students’ clothes, hugging) due to fear of accusations.
  • “All it takes is one accusation and then their reputation’s done.” – Jeff (15:52)
• Are Women Trusted More?
  • Female teachers seen as naturally maternal and thus more trustworthy.
  • “I think absolutely the females need to be... trusted more.” – Sonya, caller (21:03)
• Counterpoints and Experiences
  • Teachers (Ashley, Gene) call in sharing school practices, personal vigilance (always having another adult within earshot), and the professional tension of being "always on... almost artificial and robotic." – Ashley (17:48)
  • Students (Whitney) share comfort with male teachers, perception of rumors in middle school, and greater ease in high school.
• Double Standard in Accusations
  • The group discusses how an accusation against a male teacher is seen as more believable than against a female teacher, reflecting broader societal stereotypes.
  • Noted increasing news reports about female teacher sexual misconduct with students.
• Staffroom Stories
  • Gene, a young male teacher, notes having seen both male and female colleagues act inappropriately, or make comments about students—nuancing the issue as not limited to gender.

Notable Quotes

• “I think that’s a crazy theory when it comes to little kids.” – Burt, responding to Sonya’s claim that men are inherently more sexual (21:15)
• “As a general rule, we see men and women differently.” – Jeff (26:13)

3. The 'That Guy' in the Friend Group

Timestamps: 29:10–35:10

Premise

• Burt recounts trying to organize a "low-key" night out to watch basketball, only to realize everyone has “that guy” in their social group who turns every outing into a party.

Key Discussion Points

• The Chain-Reaction Social Circle
  • Trying to avoid inviting the friend ("Justin") who takes things directly into fifth gear ("Shots are gonna be poured. We’re gonna be out late.").
  • Despite a careful guest list, someone inevitably extends the invitation, leading to escalating antics.
• Group Dynamics
  • “Justin is to me as I am to Don... Don knows when he goes out with me, it’s gonna be ugly.” – Burt (31:11)
  • Stories of office gatherings: Burt is "that guy" at the bar buying shots, reliving college energy even on work nights.
  • Group jokes about the challenge of keeping a drink tally on Burt, as he outlasts the counters.
• Self-Reflection
  • “I’m that guy. I don’t want to be it. You are what you are... It’s too late to change.” – Burt (35:01)
  • The cast teases each other about their own party "roles," providing a candid, familiar humor.

Memorable Moment

• “It goes from idle to game on at 10. Quickly. Two shots.” – Ashley (31:35)
• “You just give them the most out of them. You drink them under, and then you just keep going.” – Burt (34:53)

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “If you can travel well together, you can do okay.” – Burt (00:24)
• “Once I get rid of everything, I’m kind of gone.” – Mandy (04:31)
• “We have a cat to get rid of.” – Mandy (13:13)
• “All it takes is one accusation and then their reputation’s done.” – Jeff (15:52)
• “I think that’s a crazy theory when it comes to little kids.” – Burt (21:15)
• “Justin is to me as I am to Don... Don knows when he goes out with me, it’s gonna be ugly.” – Burt (31:11)
• “I’m that guy. I don’t want to be it. You are what you are... It’s too late to change.” – Burt (35:01)

Takeaways

• Travel can stress-test relationships, revealing true dynamics and the need for deep compromises.
• Financial transparency and flexibility are key for extended adventures as a couple.
• Family and social networks have complicated, emotional responses to big lifestyle changes.
• Male educators face unique social and professional scrutiny, leading to defensive practices to safeguard reputations.
• Friend groups often feature archetypes (“the fun one,” “the responsible one”)—and self-awareness brings both laughter and humility.

Overall Tone:
Warm, honest, teasing, but always friendly—the cast and callers create a lively, relatable environment, whether discussing big life choices or the realities of the workweek hangover.

Useful for: New listeners seeking context, fans who missed the episode, or anyone interested in the interplay of relationships, risk, and social perceptions in everyday (and not-so-everyday) life.