Podcast Summary: The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, January 6 [Vault]

Date: January 6, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Featured Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and guests

Episode Overview

This engaging episode of The Bert Show is a vibrant blend of candid, humorous, and heartfelt conversations around common life experiences—from navigating diet culture, making major life decisions like marriage, to quirky personal habits. The show features a highlight interview with Mireille Guiliano, author of Why French Women Don't Get Fat, followed by a spirited segment on wedding “cold feet” versus genuine hesitations, and the always-popular “Am I Normal?” call-in section, where listeners revel in their odd or comforting habits.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Interview with Mireille Guiliano: “Why French Women Don’t Get Fat”

Timestamps: [01:49] – [11:42]

Main Takeaways:

• French vs. American Attitudes Toward Food:

  • Mireille describes her book as "the ultimate non-diet book," emphasizing a lifestyle rooted in mindful and pleasurable eating rather than restriction or deprivation ([02:35], Mireille Guiliano).
  • Her personal journey reflects a cultural shift: “I was a typical French girl when I was thin. Then I came to America as a student and I gained 20 pounds and then I went back to Paris and I gained another 10 pounds [...] My little family doctor put me back on track by basically reteaching me what my mother had taught me.” ([02:43], Mireille Guiliano)

• Key Principles from the Book:

  • Portion Control & Mindful Eating: French people eat smaller portions, eat more slowly, and rarely snack. Taste is prioritized over quantity.
    • "We eat with our head, we fool ourselves. We eat in a very common sense way by having three meals a day, not snacking, we have smaller portions, we eat much, much, much more slowly." ([03:45], Mireille Guiliano)
  • Pleasure & Satiation: Satisfying taste buds with 3 bites is often enough—quality trumps quantity.
  • Allowing Indulgence (in moderation): “If you want to have chocolate, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of chocolate. If you like bread, you can have a nice piece of bread with your meal. Just don’t have a loaf.” ([05:53], Mireille Guiliano)
  • Cultural Foundation: France’s deep gastronomy culture cultivates respect for food, encouraging awareness in eating.
  • Cooking as Joy, Not Chore: The French connect with food through cooking, unlike many Americans who may see meal prep as burdensome.
    • “For us, [cooking] is a central act. We cook because we like to prepare something for the people we love.” ([06:55], Mireille Guiliano)
  • Diary/Journaling: She encourages journaling food intake for awareness.
  • Personal Adaptation: She warns against sudden, drastic dietary changes; gradual reduction wins.

Notable Quotes:

• “Slowing down is probably the most important thing.” ([08:27], Mireille Guiliano)
• “If you eat good food, you can eat everything.” ([08:19], Mireille Guiliano)
• “Assume that you eat probably between 10 and 30% more of what you really need and start reducing slowly.” ([11:23], Mireille Guiliano)

2. Defining “Cold Feet”: Wedding Jitters or Deeper Doubts?

Timestamps: [14:33] – [21:54]

Main Takeaways:

• Distinction Between Jitters & True Doubt:
  • Callers and hosts share experiences distinguishing between “just nerves” and knowing, deep down, that something is wrong.
    • “If your first gut instinct is that no, then go with your gut, because there is a reason why you have that feeling.” ([15:04], Caller)
    • “The difference between cold feet and knowing is cold feet comes from your head, and knowing comes from your gut. You got to listen to your gut, because your heart and your head will mess you up every time.” ([15:53], Caller)
  • Questions to Ask Yourself: Would you be happy with this person in 50 years—or even next week? If you're repulsed or ill at the thought, that’s not just jitters.
    • “If you say, okay, I’ve gotta look 50 years from now, am I gonna be repulsed for the next 50 years? That’s not gonna work.” ([16:36], Burt)
  • Jitters Come from the Ceremony or Occasion, Not the Person: It's normal to be anxious about public speaking or the significance of marriage, but not about who you're marrying.
    • “If you question, is this the right guy? Then there’s something wrong.” ([17:04], Caller “Misty”)
    • “If you're worried about your past and if everything’s going right and you’re worried about the honeymoon and all that—that’s cold feet. But if you’re looking down the aisle and that dude repulses you and you’re throwing up, that’s not the right guy.” ([21:22], Burt)
  • Timing and Readiness: Concerns about age, finances, or timing are normal; doubt about the partner is more serious.

Notable Quotes:

• “My friend, she said the minute she got engaged, she felt closed in, like the walls were coming in... then realized, you know, I really don’t think that one, I’m cut out for marriage and certainly not with you.” ([18:56], Caller)
• “A little card [canceling a wedding] is a heck of a lot less expensive than a divorce.” ([20:00], Radio Host 4)
• “Vomit should not be involved in a wedding, you know, at all.” ([21:48], Radio Host 3)

3. “Am I Normal?” – Celebrating Quirky Habits

Timestamps: [21:54] – [32:09]

Listener Confessions and Fun Highlights:

• Relatable Oddities:

  • Staring in the mirror to watch pupils dilate
  • Pretending to be interviewed naked post-shower
  • Practicing lottery win reactions or Oscar acceptance speeches ([29:34], Caller)
  • Playing “wedding” years after the real event
  • Reviewing homemade food as a food critic
  • Sniffing clipped toenails ([31:19], Caller)

• Family Traditions and Social Norms:

  • “Kissing family members on the lips”—debated as normal or not—shows regional and personal differences ([23:55] onward).
    • “I kiss my dad and my mom on the lips.” ([24:19], Radio Host 4)
    • “I give them the cheek. I don’t care. Kiss anybody on the lips is an adult unless I’m with them.” ([24:54], Radio Host 3)
  • Doing the robot dance when the "Law & Order" theme plays and quoting Napoleon Dynamite as an African American—is that “normal?” ([26:07], Caller, [27:06], Mireille Guiliano)

• Inventive Fantasies:

  • Pretending to be chased by police while driving
  • Giving elaborate imaginary award show speeches, often brought to tears thanking loved ones
  • Having “celebrity imaginary friends”—and getting “caught” talking to them by a spouse ([31:33], Caller)

Notable Quotes:

• “We all sit and worry and wonder if we are normal or not. If you know what, we're all screwed up. It's just different...levels of screwed up, but everybody's screwed up.” ([32:13], Burt)
• “When I clip my toenails, I sniff them.” ([31:19], Caller)
• “Whenever there’s an award show on, I get up and I accept my best actress award. And I have the same speech. And I get emotional. I cry my eyes out…” ([29:34], Caller)

Memorable Moment:

• Live, heartfelt Oscar-style acceptance speech from a caller for “Best Actress”—moving both the caller and hosts ([29:54]).

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Speaker | Quote | Timestamp | |---------|-------|-----------| | Mireille Guiliano | “Slowing down is probably the most important thing.” | 08:27 | | Caller | “If your first gut instinct is that no, then go with your gut, because there is a reason why you have that feeling.” | 15:04 | | Burt | “If you say, okay, I’ve gotta look 50 years from now, am I gonna be repulsed for the next 50 years? That’s not gonna work.” | 16:36 | | Radio Host 3 | “Vomit should not be involved in a wedding, you know, at all.” | 21:48 | | Burt | “We all sit and worry and wonder if we are normal or not. [...] It's just different levels of screwed up, but everybody's screwed up.” | 32:13 |

Episode Flow Commentary

The tone of this episode is warm, witty, and candid—typical of The Bert Show’s signature style. Mireille Guiliano’s interview sets an informative, thoughtful pace, later matched by earnest and vulnerable calls about marriage doubts, which then give way to joyous, communal weirdness in “Am I Normal?”. Throughout, Bert and the cast balance empathy, humor, and inclusivity, letting listeners feel seen and understood, quirks and all.

Recap Table: Key Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Description | Start | End | |----------------------------------|----------------------------------------------|--------|--------| | Mireille Guiliano Interview | French vs. American food habits, lifestyle book, mindful eating, cultural differences, cooking joy | 01:49 | 11:42 | | Cold Feet/Wedding Jitters | Listeners & hosts weigh in: jitters vs. real doubts, personal stories | 14:33 | 21:54 | | Am I Normal? | Audience calls share quirky/funny personal habits, "Are you normal?" debate | 21:54 | 32:09 |

Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show offers a comforting and hilarious batch of life’s most pressing (and entertaining) questions: can you eat croissants and not get fat, should you marry if you have doubts, and just how weird are your bathroom habits? Between expert advice, real listener stories, and on-air camaraderie, the episode delivers both practical insights and a reminder that everyone’s “brand of weird” is a little more universal—and a lot more fun—than we think.