Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, June 2 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, June 2 [Vault]

Original Air Date: June 2, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & Cast

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Episode Overview

This episode showcases The Bert Show's classic style—real, candid, and often humorous discussions about listener dilemmas, personal life moments, and cultural expectations. The main segments center around two deep topics:

1. A Listener’s Call About a Family Breastfeeding Incident
2. Intern Lauren’s Struggle with Body Image and Eating Habits

Both discussions are intermixed with real-time audience interactions, crew perspectives, and the open, non-judgmental tone characteristic of the show.

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1. Listener Drama: "Caught Breastfeeding My Child"

[00:00–09:55]

Context & Call-In

• Producer Tracy receives an instant message from a listener, Amy, who is using a voice disguiser for privacy.
• Amy shares that she recently walked in on her 13-year-old niece trying to breastfeed her 5-month-old son while she was in the shower.
• Amy recounts being shocked, scolding her niece, and not knowing whether her reaction was appropriate. She hasn't told the niece’s parents and is unsure if she should.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Initial Reactions from Hosts:

  • Strong surprise, collective uncertainty on how to advise.
    • "This goes down into the category of one of the most bizarre calls we've ever taken." (Bert, 02:09)
  • Recognition that the niece was probably embarrassed and knew she shouldn't have done it, but her motivation seemed to be curiosity.

• Audience and Team Weigh In:

  • Emily (caller): Downplays the severity, attributing act to curiosity, argues against telling parents.
    • "She is 13... They're so curious at that age. I think it's just not that big of a deal." (Emily, 03:50)
  • Hosts & Listeners: Mixed reactions—some see it as troubling, others as a one-off act of imitation and curiosity.
  • Larry (caller): Suggests possible hormonal curiosity, but also admits "at 13, you're curious about a lot of things, but I don't remember being curious about breastfeeding at all." (Larry, 04:57)

• Comparisons and Other Experiences:

  • Hosts and callers discuss how young children sometimes mimic breastfeeding with dolls but note the cognitive difference at age 13.

Notable Quotes

• "Who has that thought of putting a child on their boob at that age?" (Host, 03:03)
• "A 13 year old has a cognitive ability to know better." (Host, 05:54)
• "I think you need to take this opportunity to turn it into a positive..." (Rachel, 08:37)

Shared Stories

• Sarah (caller, voice disguiser): Admits to a similar experience as a 14-year-old, trying to breastfeed her sister's baby out of curiosity.
  • "I think I was just curious, although I was never caught doing it." (Sarah, 06:02)
  • Encourages Amy to have a conversation with her niece but not overreact: "It's probably a one time thing."

Consensus & Advice

• Most advice centers on having a calm, informative conversation with the niece to address the behavior, rather than escalating or shaming. Only a few endorse telling the girl's parents.
• "It's time to have a rational discussion with her before you even consider going to her parents." (Host, 09:58)

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2. Intern Lauren’s Body Image and Eating Discussions

[10:25–37:00]

Context

• Intern Lauren discusses her anxiety about holiday family photos, fearing she’ll look "fat" and thus restricting food intake during celebrations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Lifelong Relationship with Food & Body Image:

  • Lauren describes constant rumination over her weight and food—thinking about food, exercise, and body image "all day" (11:44).
  • She recounts past behaviors in high school of severe restriction (less than 600 calories/day) and compulsive exercise.
  • Admits to never seeing herself as thin enough, even in severely underweight photos.

• Eating Disorder Self-Assessment:

  • The hosts and listeners express concern that her descriptions indicate potential disordered eating.
  • Bert leads Lauren through an online eating disorder self-assessment (with audience participation), probing her perfectionism, anxiety about weight, and guilt surrounding food.
  • Key Red Flags Identified:
    • Severe calorie restriction
    • Emotional dependence on exercise
    • Body dysmorphia
    • Comparisons to others and persistent dissatisfaction

• Audience Shares & Call-Ins:

  • Allison (caller): Shares personal story of realizing unhealthy patterns after befriending someone recovering from an eating disorder, mentioning the help found in support groups and meetings. (17:46–20:03)
  • Michelle (caller, voice disguiser): Checking herself into eating disorder treatment for the second time; resonates deeply with Lauren’s patterns and strongly advises her to see a physician or therapist.
    • "These are red flag after red flag after red flag..." (Michelle, 21:00)
    • "Starvation is anything below 900 calories a day." (Michelle, 21:23)

• Host Reactions:

  • The team provides a supportive, non-judgmental space—Jen and Bert especially encourage Lauren to take the advice seriously and consider seeking help.
  • They challenge Lauren on some answers, pointing out when denial or minimizing is apparent.
  • Discuss how perfectionism, control, and societal/family pressures interplay with eating and exercise issues.

Notable Quotes

• "Do you think life would be better and or people would like you more if you were thin or thinner?" (Quiz, 27:11)
• "I constantly think about it, and it's really, like, a really big issue. And I don't think that it's, like, something that needs to control my life as much as it does." (Allison, 17:49)
• "Everything you say is something that I have said, and I was in denial about it for a long time." (Michelle, 21:00)
• "I don't think I really need to go to the therapist. I'm not, like, that crazy." (Lauren, 22:51)
  • "Well, it's not crazy, though. Therapists are the least crazy people I know." (Michelle, 23:01)

Memorable Moments

• A lengthy, candid platform for audience members to relate, support, and educate about eating disorders—unusually raw and intimate for morning radio.
• Hosts joke about their own tendencies in response to some quiz questions, maintaining a respectful but personable tone.
• Bert promises to reveal Lauren's quiz results after a break, underlining the show's deep-dive approach combined with entertainment pacing.

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3. Lighthearted Segment: Remembering the Yearly "Number"

[37:12–42:30]

Context

• The final segment shifts tone: a tradition of Bert picking a number at the start of each year to test his memory.
• On-air banter and jokes about habitual forgetfulness, culminating in Bert picking "13" (his birth date) as the number he’ll remember for the coming year, with a $100 reward for each full-time mic-holder if he forgets.

Notable Quotes

• "That's the running joke on the show that my memory is so bad that I can't even remember a number that I pick at that front end of the year." (Bert, 38:47)
• "The date of my birth. The 13th. 13 will be the number that I will remember next year at this time." (Bert, 42:01)

Memorable Moments

• Interns and cast laughing about memory tricks, clues, and the pressure of on-air promises.
• Light-hearted group dynamic, closing on a playful, positive note after intense earlier segments.

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Summary Table: Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Listener drama: Breastfeeding incident | 00:00–09:55 | | Intern Lauren’s eating/weight issues | 10:25–37:00 | | Yearly number memory game | 37:12–42:30 |

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Concluding Reflections

This episode is a prime example of The Bert Show’s ability to balance uncomfortable, real-life dilemmas with supportive discourse, audience engagement, humor, and light-hearted traditions. The frank discussions about curiosity, boundaries, body image, and mental health provide both important takeaways and memorable moments for listeners.

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If you’re affected by similar issues raised in this episode, consider speaking to a trusted supporter or professional.

Transcript

[A]

Here Bird show. So producer Tracy sends me this instant message saying, what do you do when you catch someone else breastfeeding your child?

[B]

Freak out.

[A]

And that to us is a priority call. So Amy is on the voice disguiser. Amy.

[C]

Hi. How are you guys?

[A]

Okay, now you're on the voice disguiser. So nobody can recognize your voice. You, your child was breastfeeding with another woman and you had zero idea about it.

[C]

Well, right, so I have a five month old son. I mean a five month old son and I breastfeed him. And over the break, my 13 year old niece wasn't in school and so, you know, she was staying with me a lot of the time just so someone could keep an eye on her. So I told her I needed to jump in the shower and so I went in the room and turned the water on and I went back out into the family room to grab something and she was attempting to breastfeed my son.

[D]

Wait, the 13 year old?

[C]

She's 13? I mean, obviously at the time was like, what? Like, you know, was really upset and kind of yelled at her and, and she said she was like just humiliated and was just curious and wanted to know, you know, what it was like and all that. And I told her obviously never do that again and was just furious with her. But my question is, she was so obviously embarrassed and I really like my knee jerk reaction. I just, I didn't freak out, but I was really upset, obviously. So I don't know now if I overreacted and she was just being curious or if I underreacted and I need to tell someone else because at this point all that's happened is I caught her. Never do that again. And she said she was totally embarrassed and also is no longer left alone with my baby boy.

[A]

Okay, now you said this was your niece, so did you go to her parents?

[C]

I haven't. No, I have not. And that's one of my questions. Do you think I need to. Was she?

[A]

This goes down into the category of one of the most bizarre calls we've ever taken. Yeah, it might be.

[E]

Did she? Well, I guess my first question is, did she know it was wrong when she was doing it?

[C]

She obviously knew. I mean, she obviously like didn't want me to know and knew that it was something.

[A]

Yeah, she was just curious.

[C]

Yeah. But I don't know if she knows. I don't know what she thinks.

[A]

404.

[C]

I don't know why she did it. If she really just was curious. I mean, I have no idea. We haven't really Spoken about it because it was obviously kind of traumatic for both of us.

[A]

404-741-Q100 well, you said when you approached her original, like she was embarrassed, like she knew she shouldn't be doing. But did she use the words? I was just curious on what it feels like?

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Wow, that is weird. And she's like young enough that you don't want to be overly harsh on her, but she's old enough to know better.

[B]

Right, right. And who has that thought of putting a child on their boob at that age?

[E]

I would have never.

[B]

Even now. No, I said who, who has that thought?

[A]

Oh, okay. I thought you said who hasn't had that thought.

[D]

No, who has that?

[E]

Who has?

[A]

Yeah, it's just strange.

[E]

It's so bizarre.

[A]

I am at a lot. I have no idea where to go with this.

[E]

Yeah, that is so strange. I'm just really surprised that she would go that far. And yeah, obviously I asked you if she knew it was wrong, but obviously she did because she waited until you were getting in the shower and she

[A]

said she was just curious and you know, it's like, yeah, I don't know, creepy.

[E]

I would be really freaked out.

[A]

Hey, Emily. Good morning.

[F]

Hi. How are you guys?

[A]

There are a few times on the show where I have zero response to something that's been said and I've got nothing.

[F]

You know, I really. She's 13. They're so curious at that age. I think it's just not that big of a deal. Obviously it's, you know, it's upsetting. But she is 13. She doesn't, I mean, maybe she doesn't know any better. I don't know. But she's, you know, she's 13. They're very curious and you say don't tell the parents.

[A]

Just let it go. Because this is like a one time thing.

[F]

I mean, I think not. Because what if that causes a risk

[C]

in your family, you know?

[E]

Yeah. I do think it's worth another conversation with your niece though, to sit down now that it's over and you're not just in a reaction mode. I think it's worth the conversation to sit down and be like, let's talk about this. Like find out why she was really doing it. Maybe explain like some more things about breastfeeding.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Here's Larry. Hey, Larry. Good morning. I didn't think that we'd get any guys calling for this.

[G]

Yeah. Good morning, everybody.

[D]

Good morning.

[G]

I listen to you every morning.

[A]

Thank you, sir.

[G]

I just think she's young she's 13, you know, her hormones are getting going. So I think she might have thought it would feel good or maybe, you

[B]

know, I mean, I mean, at 13 you're curious about a lot of things, but I don't remember being curious about breastfeeding at all.

[G]

You don't know her background or anything, you know, I mean, you don't know, right? I don't, you know, I don't know.

[A]

Well, I mean, I know that there's like, you know, they say that there's that maternal instinct that most women have, you know, And I see even little girls on a playground when they're around my 2 year old. Little girls will pick up my 2 year old, they'll carry him around. They're more protective of them than boys certainly are. They're all roughing each other up and stuff. So I don't know, I'm just talking. I don't really know.

[E]

I mean, little girls have baby dolls that you have or whatever. And I've seen little girls whose mothers had second children and were breastfeeding the second children so they would put their baby dolls on their breast like they were imitating mom and that kind of stuff. But I'm talking about under five years old. I mean, a 13 year old has a cognitive ability to, to know better.

[A]

Good morning. Hold on. Sarah wants to be on the voice disguise. Okay, go ahead, Sarah. You're on the voice disguiser also.

[C]

Hi. I was actually 14 and I did that to my sister's baby. And I think I was just curious, although I was never caught doing it. But I really don't know why or what provoked it, but I mean, I had just done that once and that was it.

[A]

So what I'm just, I want to get in your head here for just one second. Like, was it a. You've seen, you've seen other women do it and you were just curious what it feels like type thing? Like you obviously knew you weren't nourishing the child.

[C]

Right, right. I think that's really what it was. I mean, I don't think it has to do with hormones or anything. I think I was just curious about what, what it was like.

[B]

Did you watch somebody growing up do it?

[C]

No, not really. I mean, I watched my sister do it to her child, but she was a lot older than me. My sister was like 13 years older than me.

[E]

So you were just imitating her?

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

And she was gone babysitting. I mean, and you were babysitting?

[C]

I think I was, I actually was 14 when she was born, so I mean, I keep the child a little bit, but I had done it that one time and so if you had

[A]

to give advice to Amy here, would you say go to her parents or. It's a one time thing and it's not a big deal, just let it go.

[C]

I would think it'd be a one time thing. I would probably talk to her one more time, you know, to make, make it clear. But I, I mean, I know it wasn't a big deal for me, although my sister never knew, but I, you know, at 14, I just only did it, tried it that one time.

[H]

Wow.

[A]

Well, thanks for calling. I didn't think we'd get any calls like that. Thank you.

[E]

I'm kidding.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

We always say that about this show too. Like once you think that there's nobody else in your situation, there's always somebody listening that has gone through the same thing.

[E]

Because that seems so bizarre to me. I wouldn't think we would have gotten one call.

[A]

Hey, Tracy, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hi.

[A]

Hey.

[F]

I think it was Jen that said that she should talk to Denise again. And I 100% agree with that because I have a 13 year old kid and they just do some of the most stupid things in the world. I mean, I sit back and I'm like, are you serious? So I think since the emotion's gone, just talk to your niece again and just give her a clear understanding. But I don't think I. And then, and then decide whether or not you're gonna go with, go to the parents with it.

[A]

Thanks for calling. One more call here. So we got Amy on the phone here and she called us up saying that she's got a 13 year old niece that was over at her house. And Amy goes into the shower and when she comes out, she catches her 13 year old niece sort of breastfeeding or simulating breastfeeding her five month old. Hey, Rachel, Good morning.

[F]

Good morning.

[A]

Hey.

[F]

I think, I think you're hearing a common theme here, you know, imitation and curiosity. And I think Amy, you know, I know your gut reaction was to sort of freak out, but I think you need to take this opportunity to turn it into a positive and tell your niece that, you know, breastfeeding is a natural thing with a mom and a baby and that, you know, if it had been a bottle, you probably wouldn't have freaked out as much. But she was just seeing what she was, you know, she was just doing what she saw and take the opportunity to say, you know, when you're able to have a baby. You're. You're going to be able to do this, but it's only for mom to do with her child.

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Because you haven't turning it into a negative. You know, I mean, you may have scared her to death, hopefully not forever. But, you know, and I understand your reaction, but, you know, just think about our society and how we don't do enough to promote breastfeeding because you haven't

[A]

really had a legitimate rational talk with her about it yet. Right. It was just your initial knee jerk reaction.

[C]

Yeah. And I think you're right. And I think whatever happened, I don't think she had any negative intentions, you know, and I think it is good to talk to her and just get everything on the table because I don't want to, you know, she's really close to me. I watch her all the time, and I don't want to feel like that anything's that negative between us. Yeah, mostly something like this, which is such a beautiful part of life.

[A]

But not when you're 13.

[E]

No.

[A]

And it's not yours exactly. Yeah. Most are calling saying the same thing is you gotta sit her down and it's time to have, like a rational discussion with her before you even consider going to her parents.

[E]

Yeah. And it might bring you guys closer together, right?

[A]

Not that close.

[E]

Well, not.

[A]

Not as close as. But close.

[E]

I mean, don't, you know, don't snuggle with her.

[A]

Yeah. I wouldn't bring her up to your breast or anything like that, but you could have a very close talk with her. All right, Amy, thanks.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[A]

You're on the Burt show, the Birch Show. Intern Lauren here was all stressed out before Christmas because she was getting. Was it a family picture done?

[D]

Well, my sister, one of my sisters lives in Missouri, and she's coming down. She has about a year and a half old baby. So my mom was like, oh, that'd be really cool if, you know, three of my kids and my granddaughter would get their picture taken. And at first I was like, yeah, I guess we haven't had our picture taken in, like, the past four years. And we all changed a little. But then I was thinking about it, like, it's Christmas time. And usually Christmas time also involves holiday foods like cookies and candy and all the bad stuff. And then I was like, great. I have to work out the whole time during Christmas. I can't eat anything because I'm gonna look at these pictures forever and I'm gonna be fat in them. I just don't want it.

[A]

These weight issues that come up with the women on the show all the time. I was shocked a couple of weeks ago when you guys said that women constantly 247 think about food and what they put in their mouth. All the time.

[E]

All the time. And I think some more than others. And I think we have to qualify it too, because we've talked to so many of our listeners that it's more of a white girl issue than it is, you know, it's more of the Caucasian girls that are obsessed with weight and that kind of thing. But yeah, it's on our minds all the time. How many times a day do you think you think about your weight?

[D]

Honestly, probably the whole day.

[A]

Really?

[D]

I mean, I don't know. Me, I might be different because in high school I had issues, I guess somewhat. But yeah, all the time, like, I think about working out constantly and I have to like, at least get it over with in the morning and then I won't think about the afternoon. I don't know, I'm a different person.

[A]

Let's back up to the high school.

[D]

I don't know, I guess, like, let's see, I was in cross country and I lost like a lot of weight. And then I guess it kept proceeding until senior year where I lost a ton of weight and people didn't know how. And I mean, I was seriously just working out. Like, I love to work out. And people kept saying, you know, you're losing a lot of weight and it looks like really unhealthy. Like in my sister's wedding photos, like, you can see all the bones. I mean, it was like creepy gross, but like, I didn't recognize it at the time but really think it was an eating disorder.

[E]

Were you starving yourself?

[D]

I really wasn't. Like, I ate little bit and then I would work out a bun like a ton. Like how much?

[B]

Like, how many hours a day?

[D]

I mean, it really, like at the time it was like an hour and a half, but I really wasn't eating that much. But I was still eating to the point where, you know, I wasn't starving myself.

[E]

But did you pass out?

[D]

No, like, I was totally fine. And like, I never realized it. And like, I was like, oh, this is really cool. Like I'm super, super skinny.

[A]

Isn't that what an eating disorder is?

[E]

Isn't it? It's a distort because you do get a distorted view of yourself. You know, I've seen the stories about the women that are anorexic and star and the skinnier they got and how gaunt they looked. They thought they looked better. Like, in their eyes. It was better when the rest of the world was like, oh, my gosh, no, it's so unhealthy.

[D]

I mean, at the time, I didn't realize anything. I look at the pictures now and I'm like, oh, my God, I can't believe I was actually that skinny. But, I mean, I really didn't think anything was wrong with me then. I still somewhat.

[A]

So when you look at the picture, when you look at the pictures now and you see your skin, gross.

[D]

And my mom's like, I can't believe you're that skinny. And I was just like, yeah, I know.

[E]

But you still kind of liked it.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Do you still look at those pictures now and aspire to that?

[D]

I guess not now because I was so thin. But I mean, I wish I could still be somewhat. I mean, bigger than that, but still thinner than I am now.

[E]

Where do you think all that comes from?

[D]

Honestly, I don't know. I think when I was a child, I was kind of chubby. So maybe as a child I always thought, man, I wish I was skinny. And then by the time that I got that skinny, then I thought, wow, like, you know, it can actually happen that I can be skinny. So I guess mentally, I always think, like. I don't know, I just think about, like, weight a lot. And I think I'm, like, the only one in my family because they're like, why do you think about going to the gym and eating so much?

[E]

I'm just like, I don't know, it's kind of become. Do you feel like it's like an obsession level?

[D]

Yeah. Really? I mean, when I talk about to my friends, like, why do you think about going to the gym all the time? I was like, I don't know. I have, like, anxiety about going.

[A]

So when you.

[D]

And if I don't.

[A]

When you look at yourself in the mirror now, what do you see?

[D]

I see something I don't. Like, not every day. Like, some days are better than some, but especially after the holidays and, like, eating stuff, then I just feel really guilty.

[E]

But how many days a week do you work out?

[D]

At least four. But I try to do more if I can.

[B]

Is it still an hour and a half a day?

[D]

Oh, yeah. But since I moved home, I can totally tell that I changed working out because at school I was just like. I don't know. I guess at school, mentally I saw everybody. It was like, super skinny. So I had to keep myself at, like, Their weight levels or whatever. But then, like, moving home, I'm.

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

I just don't feel it as much as a pressure as it was back at school.

[A]

Sound like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

[D]

I do. And I honestly. I don't know where it comes from because nobody in my family works out. Like, I do. Like, none of them even really work out, so I have no idea where it comes from.

[E]

Did you ever have a relationship or a boyfriend who commented on your weight?

[D]

No. Like, when I. When I was in high school, my boyfriend was like, really? Every time I see you. Because he was in college and I was in high school, and he was like, every time I see you're getting skinnier. And, like, at. Then, at that point, I was like, oh, really? Like, I thought it was a compliment. And like, now that, like, look back and I'm like, oh, my God, it was getting thinner, like, every time that he saw me. But no, nobody's ever really talked about my weight.

[A]

I've never been around anybody that has sort of said, I had an eating disorder, and I went and I got help for it, and now I'm healthy. So I don't know if things that you're saying right now, like, are red flags for people that have eating disorders or not.

[E]

I mean, I think there is a difference between women who think about it, or you're trying to eat healthy or trying to work out or get fit or all those kind of thoughts. And I think there's a difference between that and obsessing over it. Like you said, you think about it all day long. How many times within one hour do you think that weight or working out or food crosses your mind in an hour?

[D]

At least 10. I mean, but it comes more so, like, if I watch TV and, like, I see skinny girls, I'm like, oh, man, now I really need to work out.

[E]

And then, like, you're probably comparing yourself to every single woman you walk by every single day. You're like, oh, well, I'm thinner than her. Oh, well, I'm not thinner than her. Oh, well, she has a better this or I have a better that.

[A]

Do most girls do that, though?

[E]

I don't.

[A]

You don't?

[D]

I don't.

[B]

Do you go to the gym, like, as soon as you see those, like, images?

[D]

I mean, not as soon. Like, I have, like, specific times that I want to go, but when I see them, I, like, aspire to be thin. I don't know.

[A]

How often do you eat a day?

[D]

I try to Eat small meals a day. Maybe. Like, I have three meals and one snack, but they're kind of small meals.

[A]

So, like, are you under 600 calories for the day?

[D]

No, I'd say, like, 600 or more. I mean, like, I don't know. I would always say, like, I give myself a certain amount of calories during the week, and on the weekends, I would splurge. And it's come to the point where now when I'm at home, I, like, splurge a lot. And I know it's, like, getting bad for me, but at school, I would definitely be, like, 600 or less. Because, like, we had. Yeah. I was in a nutrition class, and we had to write down, like, the meals that we ate every day and the calorie intake. And my teacher was like, you need to eat more. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I

[A]

know, but you still didn't. Here is Allison. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi, Alison.

[F]

Hi.

[A]

Hey.

[F]

I was listening to the lady that just called, and it felt like I was listening to myself almost, and I wanted to give her some advice. I had recently, like, I had a friend come into my life. She was a really good friend, and she opened up to me, and she opened up to me about her eating disorder. And it opened my eyes, like, how. How much, like, I. How. How many things, like, were wrong with what I was doing. And I just wanted to tell her, like, how much that opened my eyes. And it was just. I kept listening to what she was saying and relating to everything that she was saying. I think about my weight constantly, and it's really, like, a really big issue. And I don't think that it's, like, something that means to control my life as much as it does.

[A]

What did she say to you that was, like, the final red flag for you to say, okay, I'm obsessing over this.

[F]

It wasn't so much as what she said. It was just, like, hanging out with her and being like. Like her telling me her experience and how much, like, I could relate to what she was doing. And she's, like. To a point where she can. She's completely. She went and got treatment and is, like, 100% better from it. And, like, she does things that, like, I catch myself not wanting to do, like, the things that she, like, she eats normally and stuff like that. So I'm actually going to go to a meeting with her, like, eating disorders anonymous meeting, and just see, like, what I can learn from it, because I feel like what I do is not Normal, Like, I shouldn't be obsessing as much as I do over.

[E]

I've always wondered, what did she tell you treatment is like, for an eating disorder? What is that?

[F]

It's. I mean, she went. She went to a place, like, it was a really long process, and she went somewhere and got help. And I don't know exactly what they did, but.

[E]

So she checked into, like, a Betty Ford for eating disorders.

[F]

Yeah, like, on her own terms and stuff like that. But I just feel like the lady that called. I constantly think about it. It's constantly on my mind, and I know that that's not normal.

[E]

It's definitely not.

[F]

Like having somebody in my life, like, that has definitely put it into perspective how much, like, the things that I do is not normal and kind of dangerous. So it's helping me a lot. And when Bert said that he's never met somebody that, you know, has actually had an eating disorder, it opened my eyes a lot because you can.

[B]

You never know.

[A]

Right? Well, I've known people that have had eating disorders, but I've never known anybody that had the eating disorder, got help for it and was healthy after that. So I don't know what the signs are, but Michelle here wants to be on the voice disguise or can certainly relate maybe to what with what you're saying.

[C]

Absolutely. Good morning, guys. Welcome to the show.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

What's up?

[C]

I. Tomorrow I'm checking myself into treatment for an eating disorder. This will be my second time in treatment. I was healthy for a while after my first time in treatment, and it's gotten worse again, so I'm going back and this. I'm sorry, I forget the young girl's name.

[A]

Lauren.

[C]

Lauren, you need to go talk to your primary care physician. You should talk to a therapist or a nurse. These are red flag after red flag after red flag. And I'm not going to tell you that you have an eating disorder because I'm not qualified to do that. But everything you say is something that I have said, and I was in denial about it for a long time. And I kept thinking, well, it's normal.

[D]

I'm a girl.

[C]

I'm supposed to think about weight. I'm supposed to count calories. But starvation is anything below 900 calories a day.

[E]

Oh, really?

[C]

So at any point in your life, you've been restricting yourself to 600 or less and exercising. Those are just two huge red flags. And it's important to realize that eating disorders have nothing to do about exercise, about food, about your family history with exercise and Food. Those can all play into it, but it's about something emotional, some sort of trauma, usually. And again, I don't know you. I don't know your past, but don't think, oh, I don't know where this comes from, because no one in my family works out. Chances are that has nothing to do with it.

[A]

Are you sort of listening to what Michelle's saying and dismissing, like, advice she's given you? Like, you're. You're thinking, come on. I can't. This is not me she's talking about.

[D]

I mean, I totally understand where she's coming from. And also, I think the 600 calories or less, I did that, like, maybe in high school, but totally, I did not do that in college. And right now I don't. But, yeah, I agree with what she's saying for the most part.

[A]

Let me do this. I found a couple of online tests that I think it's about 15 questions long. That gives you a better understanding if you are. If you have an eating disorder or not. Why don't we answer those when we come back and we'll see what it says? Now, it's one website, so I don't know how credible it could be, but it can point you in the right direction if you're willing to do it.

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

No, you weren't expecting this, right?

[D]

No. I mean, I don't think I really need to go to the therapist. I'm not, like, that crazy. No.

[A]

Hey, Michelle. Well, it's not crazy, though.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Hey, Michelle. I want to keep you on hold in the world.

[C]

Go to therapists. Those are the least crazy people I know.

[A]

Hey, Michelle. Let me keep you on hold. Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And we'll take the test and you can continue to talk to Michelle, because you've got this in your head that this is some kind of craziness thing going on. And I think you're sort of like, you're not going to hear anybody else's answers, but if you take this and you see that the results come out either positively or negatively, then you'll maybe take them more seriously.

[E]

Well, you don't want to hear it, because then if you realize there's something wrong, then you have to change it. And you don't want to change anything about. About the way that you think or the way you think about your body or food or whatever.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I think there's, like, 15 questions on this thing. We'll start going through them next. The Birch Show. Hey, the Birch Show. So things kind of get a Little heavy here. We've got intern Lauren on with us, who has confessed to us, like, she. She obsesses about food and weight and working out all the time. She's told us at one point in her life back in high school that she was eating less than 600 calories a day, but she was running cross country also, so I don't even know how you did. You couldn't have been good at it.

[D]

Well, no. And it cross country my sophomore year, and then I stopped in cross country. I just worked out on my own.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

The rest of my high school.

[A]

So a whole bunch of people are calling, saying there's a lot of red flags. She's saying when she's sort of describing her life that she might have an eating disorder. So what I found online here real quick is a brief survey that we'll have you take right now. And then by the end of it, it may just give you an indication that, look, you're fine. Maybe you're not so different than a whole bunch of other women, or maybe something you want to look into a little bit more.

[E]

And this all started because Lauren was going to take a Christmas picture with her family and was not going to eat through the holidays because she wanted to look good in the picture. And my question is, have you ever seen a picture of yourself and thought, I look really good in that picture?

[D]

Yeah, I have a few pictures that I see, but a lot of them, like, if my friends tag me pictures, I'll just untag it. Cause I'm like, ew, Nobody needs to look at that.

[B]

And those are those current pictures?

[D]

Yeah, definitely current right now.

[E]

And for everybody who doesn't know what you look like, Lauren is beautiful and very thin. So, yes, it's the way she's looking at herself.

[A]

Okay. Are you a perfectionist? A person who always wants to be in control, an overachiever, and. Or do you think no matter what you do, it is never enough? Yes, no, or maybe no, Because I

[D]

would not consider myself an overachiever at all.

[E]

I would consider you a perfectionist.

[D]

Mm.

[A]

That's the problem with some of these questions. There's, like, three things in there you could answer. Yes to some and no to others. Are you a perfectionist or person who always wants to be in control? An overachiever?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Or how do you know she's an overachiever?

[E]

Because she's been interning for us, and I'm her intern coordinator.

[A]

So you see how great she does everything? Yes.

[E]

She does a really, really great job. And she's like very detail oriented and a total perfectionist. So I'm answering for her.

[D]

Sorry.

[E]

I'm like your big sister over here.

[A]

Jen, let me ask this question of you for Laurie. Do you find that you seek or desire acceptance and or approval from people and or that you have a hard time saying no? Yes.

[G]

No.

[A]

Maybe.

[D]

Yes. I hate when people say no.

[A]

Jen, do you agree with that?

[E]

I would agree.

[A]

Do you find that you are always questioning your own judgments and or actions and or. Or do you scrutinize yourself over small faults?

[D]

I would say maybe.

[A]

Maybe. Okay. Again, this is a survey I found online that basically says do I have an eating disorder? It's a quiz you can take. Do you think you are not good enough, stupid and or worthless or that people are always judging you in a negative way? Honest?

[D]

I'd say maybe.

[A]

Okay. Do you hide your feelings and or opinions from people for fear of being judged negatively and or do you feel like a burden to others with your problems? Yes.

[G]

No.

[A]

Maybe?

[D]

No. I talk about my problems all the time.

[A]

Okay. Within your family and or circle of friends, are you considered the strong one who everyone will come to with problems?

[D]

I'd say maybe. I have a certain group of friends that would come to me. But others, I don't really think they would care to say anything.

[A]

Sort of in the middle of the road.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think life would be better and or people would like you more if you were thin or thinner?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Do you find yourself often comparing your appearance and weight to other strangers and or models and actors?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You got to stay away from that bachelor show. Do you continuously feel that you are overweight even though others have told you that you are not?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Do family members and or friends often express concern for your weight loss or gain your appearance and or your eating habits?

[D]

My mom does jokingly because I joked to her like, oh my God, I feel so guilty about eating that. But nobody.

[A]

But didn't in high school you say that people were saying it was just

[D]

my boyfriend at the time he was saying something but nobody else really said anything at the time.

[A]

Where we going with that? Yes. No. Or maybe.

[D]

Maybe.

[A]

Do you think everyone's problems are more important than your own or do you belittle your own emotions and pain?

[D]

No.

[A]

Do you often feel numb or empty inside like your life lacks fulfillment and happiness, like something is missing or there's a void inside?

[D]

No.

[A]

Oh my God, I've got an eating disorder.

[E]

I do.

[A]

Do you feel as though you have a conscience or voice that tells you negative things about Yourself convinces you that you do not deserve to eat and or be happy?

[D]

No.

[A]

Examining yourself and how you feel, do you believe that you may suffer from anorexia, bulima or compulsive overeating or any combination of the three?

[D]

No.

[A]

Do you suffer from bouts of depression, hopelessness and or a lack of motivation and do you find your own problems overwhelming and hard to handle?

[D]

Not really.

[A]

Are you depressed, suicidal, stressed out and or fatigued and do you.

[E]

Geez. Fatigued and suicidal.

[A]

I know, right?

[E]

That question is crap.

[A]

And there's more. You suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, mood swings, rage and or insomnia.

[D]

I'd say I get anxiety, but none of the other things.

[A]

Should I just put maybe on that one?

[D]

Well, no, because I'm not suicidal.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

That's a tough one to answer because there's so many in there.

[E]

Yeah. You can't put fatigued and suicidal understanding.

[A]

No. All right, we're almost done with because we're fatigued.

[E]

Right.

[B]

Me and Jen, are we having eating disorders too?

[A]

Are you tired and or have ever felt like killing somebody? Have you ever been diagnosed with clinical depression, attentive, attentive deficit disorder, manic depression, bipolar 2 disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, or any other psychological, neurological illness or just had a cold?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay, that's the first part. Now we're into section B. There are three sections and it goes faster from here.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Do you eat, self starve or restrict, binge or purge and or compulsively exercise when you are feeling lonely, badly about yourself or about a situation?

[D]

Yes, to some.

[A]

While eating, self starving or binging and or purging, do you feel comforted, relieved, like emotional pressures have been lifted or like you are in more control?

[D]

Well, I don't binge and purge, so self starving. But when you exercise, I feel like self accomplishment. Yes.

[A]

You feel like you have more control?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Do you feel guilty following a binge and or purge episode? You don't do any of those?

[D]

No.

[A]

When eating I've always the thought of purging or throwing up like that hurts so much.

[E]

It's not about food, it's about control.

[A]

Yeah, right. When eating, do you ever feel out of control or like you will lose control and not be able to stop? And do you try to avoid eating because of this fear?

[D]

No.

[A]

Do you typically feel guilty after a binge or any. Or after any snack or meal and like you have almost instantly gained weight, like you're a failure and or like you have sabotaged yourself I do, but

[D]

I don't think I binge on meals, so.

[E]

But you just said you. Every time you eat something you joke

[D]

about it with your mom that you

[E]

feel guilty for eating it. So that's a yes. I'm sorry, I'm answering for you again. I shut up for a little while.

[A]

Do you use self starvation purging diet pills, laxative diuretics and or obsessive exercise as a way to attempt to lose weight?

[D]

Exercise?

[A]

Yes. You drink a lot of water to your coffee, eat a lot of candy or junk food and, or gum, smoke and, or take caffeine pills?

[D]

I drink water and coffee, none of the other things.

[A]

And is the coffee to control appetite and feel more energetic?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay. Do you abuse alcohol, drugs or prescription medication and or practice in self hurting behavior such as cutting?

[D]

I drink occasionally, but that's about it.

[A]

So I put maybe on that deal.

[D]

Well, I don't cut myself.

[A]

You don't say you abuse alcohol.

[D]

No, I don't.

[A]

Okay. Do you weigh yourself often and does the number on the scale dictate your mood and or self worth for the day?

[D]

No.

[A]

Are you constantly on a diet and are counting calories and fat grams and or do you feel like you've tried every fad diet or lose weight quick scheme?

[D]

No.

[E]

Come on.

[D]

I'm not. No, because I say that I'm not on a diet. I eat healthy. I've never been on like any crazy diet though. I've never tried any.

[E]

You just told us that you eat.

[D]

I mean I eat more than six. No, I mean like calories a day. But that was like I was eating fruit. I wasn't like eating like a specific meal.

[A]

Yeah, that was 600 calories of fruit. That's healthy.

[E]

Yeah. I'm just saying, Jen, every day I was eating.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

I feel like I just inhaled 600 calories by breathing.

[A]

Do you set weight goals for yourself only to find that when you reach it that you want to lose more weight?

[D]

Generally I don't really don't weigh myself. I heard Wendy say that she was like fit while she put on her clothes and they fit better. When I think of like weight loss, I think like that I don't weigh myself.

[A]

So no to that.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Do you do any of the following? Hide and or steal food?

[D]

No.

[A]

Laxatives and, or diet pills?

[D]

No.

[A]

Eat and, or exercise secretively?

[D]

No.

[A]

Avoid eating in public around others?

[D]

No.

[A]

Wear clothes that hide your weight?

[D]

Maybe Sometimes.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And. Or make excuses like I don't feel well to avoid meals?

[D]

No.

[A]

So the where to the clothes to hide your weight? One? Yes. So I'll just put maybe to it.

[D]

That's a lot. Yeah, I'd say no.

[A]

You'd say no to that?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you secretive about your eating practices? Do you think they are abnormal and. Or would you avoid recommending your methods to a family member or friend?

[D]

But like, I tell everybody what I eat.

[A]

Are you secretive about your eating practice?

[D]

I'm not secretive. I tell everybody.

[A]

And do you avoid recommending your methods to a family member or friend?

[D]

No.

[A]

Would you worry about a friend or family member that came to you with similar weight loss coping methods?

[D]

Um. No.

[E]

You are lying.

[A]

You are lying.

[E]

You are so lying on that one.

[A]

If you have to hesitate there.

[D]

Okay. Yes.

[A]

Are we talking you into an answer or you really believe. Yes.

[D]

I'd say no. I mean, I don't know.

[A]

So if somebody was sitting where you are right now and the exact same words were coming out.

[D]

Okay. I would say yes.

[A]

Do you lie about your eating behaviors, hide them from others at all costs, and. Or would you lie or steal to. To see. Or would you lie or steal to see? They could continue.

[D]

No.

[A]

Poorly written. Do you lie about your eating behaviors, hide them from others at all costs?

[D]

No.

[F]

No.

[A]

Do you use self injury as a way to cope with things?

[D]

No.

[A]

Like burning yourself or pulling out your own hair?

[D]

No.

[F]

Ow.

[A]

Do you spend a lot of time obsessively cooking for others or reading recipes?

[D]

Well, I like to cook, but that's not.

[A]

Do you spend a lot of time obsessively cooking for others or reading recipes and. Or studying the nutritional information on food?

[D]

I would say the last part, yes, but everything else, no.

[A]

Okay. There are just a few left here, like five left, but I still think it's pretty important. Are you temperature sensitive, always feel cold or hot

[D]

in a specific degree?

[A]

Like, what do you mean temperature sensitive, always feel cold or hot and. Or do you get a tingling in your extremes?

[D]

No.

[A]

Or extremities? I'm sorry. Do you find that you bruise easily?

[D]

No.

[A]

What?

[E]

I was laughing. It's tingling in your extremes. I'm sorry. Like teenage boy over here laughing.

[A]

That's your goal. Every day, different test. Shan.

[E]

Sorry. Wait, what are we taking photos about?

[A]

Do you find that you bruise easily and have a very high tolerance for pain?

[D]

No.

[A]

Are you unrealistically tired relative to the amount of energy expended?

[D]

No.

[A]

Do you suffer.

[F]

Geez.

[A]

Any of the following heart palpitations or chest pains, fainting spells, blackouts or dizziness, chronic lower back pain, headaches or light Headiness?

[D]

No.

[A]

And do you suffer any of the following Disruption of menstrual cycle and or irregularity, infertility, decreased sex drive, Irritability?

[D]

No.

[A]

Lack of ability to concentrate, blurred vision?

[C]

No.

[A]

Dental problems?

[D]

No.

[A]

Insomnia?

[D]

No.

[A]

Fatigue? No. Anxiety or depression?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay, that's it. All right. Let me play a couple of commercials because we're way behind, and then we'll have your results after commercials. Okay.

[D]

All right.

[A]

The Bird Show. The Birch Show. Hey, Richard.

[G]

Good Morning.

[A]

You're on Q100. Hi.

[G]

You guys are going to put me on the air. What's going on, guys?

[A]

You.

[E]

You.

[A]

You're on the air. You're going on, right?

[G]

I didn't know that.

[A]

What's up, man?

[G]

Not a lot. Hey, man, I was just call. Just, you know, by whiff real quick. It came on to me that I think in the beginning of the year, every year, you pick a number to try to remember. And I was just wondering if you guys have done that yet.

[A]

Well, we can't. None of us can remember if I picked a number or not last year. And we went through all of our predictions yesterday, the ones that we had for 2008, for 2009, and Josh never supplied us the part of that audio where I predict the number for the entire year.

[B]

See, I think you did do it, and.

[A]

No.

[E]

So I don't think you did.

[A]

I don't think I did. I think I was so frustrated last year because it was like the fifth straight year in a row that I couldn't remember the number. I don't think I did it. Did I do it? I did do it. Oh, hold on one sec.

[E]

Come up here. You did.

[A]

Intern Natalie, come up here.

[B]

Do you remember the number, Natalie?

[H]

I remember what it's about, but I don't know.

[A]

Hold on a sec. Let's get Natalie up here. This is intern Natalie's at Mic Music. I did pick a number last year.

[H]

Yeah, you did pick a number, and you had a way to remember it. So I don't know the number. But you would know the number if I told you what it was about.

[A]

So the fact that I did pick a number puts me on the spot again. So don't tell me how I chose to remember that number. That would give it away, right? All right, Richard, you called me out, man. I guess I did.

[C]

Sorry, man.

[A]

This is the running joke on the show that my memory is so bad that I can't even remember a number that I pick at that point, front end of the year, all year long.

[E]

And I think it's rubbing off on me because my memory, I think, has gotten worse since we started working together.

[A]

Well, I think it's a schedule. I think it's a schedule, too, man.

[E]

You're coming up.

[A]

What's that?

[H]

Even then, you kept saying that you weren't gonna remember it, so that probably, you know, help you not to remember it. If you say you're not gonna remember something, then you're not gonna even try to remember.

[A]

Well, I mean, for five straight years now, I've picked a number, and at the end of the year, I can't. I can't remember the number.

[B]

So this year you can even remember that you picked a number, Right?

[A]

None of us could. All right, let's try this.

[E]

I think I remember now. It's starting to come back to me, what you would have picked.

[A]

The problem here is I'm so competitive that I don't want you guys to win, that I feel a lot of pressure to get it right right now.

[E]

I'm going to write. Wendy, do you think you remember?

[B]

I know you picked a way to remember it, but I don't even remember.

[E]

I'm going to write down what I think it is and show Natalie.

[B]

Okay, I'll do the same thing just for fun.

[A]

The only thing that keeps coming to my mind. And seriously, I didn't think that I picked a number, but for whatever reason, my gut says that I picked my birth date, which would be 13, which I'm not saying is the number yet.

[B]

Natalie doesn't know the number. She just knows the clue to help you remember the numbers. Okay, I just wrote down two numbers.

[H]

I don't think so.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

I had my first number, and then I had two.

[E]

I had my two guesses, too.

[A]

I remember making it, like, really easy, like going, that's a number that I'll never forget. So it either has to be.

[E]

It's gotta be something.

[A]

It's gotta be like my birthday that I would never forget before. I tried to use numbers of players that I've admired all the years, and I butcher that.

[D]

Well, that's close.

[A]

So I. Oh, I did.

[H]

That's close.

[E]

Ah, crap. You're not supposed to give him any games.

[H]

Sorry.

[B]

This is funny.

[A]

What athlete or what number would I

[E]

make in my career? She even gave you a hint and you can't remember nothing.

[A]

I got nothing.

[E]

Just spit one out.

[A]

I'm just going to go with 13 because I think I would try to make it as basic as I can, and that would be my birth date. 13. 13 is the number. 13 is the number.

[H]

Can I tell you what it's in reference to?

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

It's your wife's birthday, so I don't know what her birthday.

[A]

Well, now the pressure is on.

[E]

Is that my second guess? Well, you have to tell us what your wife's birthday is.

[A]

May 15th.

[F]

Oh.

[E]

Thinking I was close.

[A]

It was 15.

[H]

It was your wife's birthday, so it's

[A]

May 15th, so the number would have been 15.

[H]

Jenna's close.

[E]

I thought that Stacy's birthday was the 25th, so I wrote down 5. 25.

[B]

See, I just put 52.

[E]

But I thought I remembered it as your wedding anniversary, not your wife's birthday,

[A]

which it might have been, which would have been the 23rd. The 25th is Hollis's birthday and also my mom's birthday, all in May. So it was Stacy's birthday, so that means it would have been 15. Okay, I'm gonna do this for this year.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

You're gonna predict this.

[E]

Is it the number you're gonna remember?

[A]

This is it.

[E]

Right?

[D]

The timeline.

[A]

Break the streak. Right here, right now. Right here, right now.

[E]

Next year.

[A]

Next year. This is 2011.

[E]

I am gonna remember this.

[A]

The date of my birth. The 13th. 13 will be the number that I will remember next year at this time.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

And if I don't remember it, we'll go back to the money thing. Y' all get $100.

[E]

Nice.

[H]

Sweet.

[A]

All right. That would be my motivation. Okay.

[B]

Bring on the money.

[A]

And there it is. Thirteen will be the number. If I don't get it, everybody that has a mic full time gets $100. Not everybody on the staff.

[E]

I can't.

[A]

Okay, 13.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Got it.

[A]

Thank you. The bird show.