Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, June 30 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, June 30 [Vault]
Date: June 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show blends classic morning show humor with real discussion, as Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the crew cover a mysterious townhouse visitor update, delve into body image discussions among parents, welcome hip-hop star Ludacris for an in-depth interview, touch on Chris Brown’s post-scandal struggle, and celebrate Melissa's milestone birthday. As always, the tone is lively, authentic, and quick-witted, engaging both callers and listeners in personal and pop culture matters.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

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1. Townhouse Mystery Update: “Who’s That Guy?”

Timestamps: [00:22] – [08:03]

• Recap of the Ongoing Mystery:
  Whitney calls in with the latest on the “mysterious man” she’s seen parking and entering a townhouse for just five minutes daily.
• Change in Routine:
  The man broke his pattern today: he pulled a U-turn and left without stopping.
• Speculation:
  The hosts brainstorm why this might have happened—perhaps he listens to the show and got spooked, or maybe there’s something shady going on.
  • “So on all the days for the last couple of months that you’ve been watching this guy, he’s never pulled a U-turn before?” — C [02:33]
• Frankie Takes Action:
  Frankie (Whitney’s friend) tries to check out the scene, but returns with inconclusive info, leading to more laughs than answers.
• Plans Moving Forward:
  Frankie agrees to return another day; listeners are encouraged to keep tabs for any further oddities.

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2. Personal Reflections: Body Image, Parenting & Culture

Timestamps: [11:03] – [22:42]

• Reading & Reaction to "I Don't Want My Daughter to Be Fat":
  The hosts read an article reflecting a mother’s fear of passing down weight issues to her daughter, unpacking generational body image struggles.
  • “I was chubby too. I was teased about it constantly, and I developed a pretty warped body image.” — C reading article [12:32]
• Emotional Call-Ins:
  Listeners share personal stories about childhood weight struggles, parenting, and setting nutrition examples.
  • “My daughter is four now... We’ve had complete strangers come up and call her fat to her face.” — F (Caller) [18:02]
• Discussion on Media’s Role:
  The group addresses how shows like “Bratz” influence kids' body image, even at 4 or 7 years old.
• Cultural Context:
  A caller, Tatiana, describes how heavier weight is often culturally normalized or even celebrated in some African American families.
• Parental Self-Awareness:
  Bert’s wife, Stacy, shares how her own anxieties about weight impacted their seven-year-old son’s self-perception.
  • “When he said it for the first time... that’s my fault because I am constantly worried about my weight.” — F (Stacy) [21:45]

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3. Ludacris Interview: Professionalism, Business, Music & More

Timestamps: [23:21] – [37:20]

• Ludacris Praised for Professionalism:
  The team highlights Luda’s history as their most punctual, professional, and courteous celebrity guest.
  • “Ludacris is hands down the most buttoned-up, professional, on-time, courteous guest that we have on this show ever.” — A [23:38]
• Secrets to Success:
  Luda credits his success across music, acting, and business to building strong teams and knowing when to delegate and replace people if needed.
  • “I don’t do all of these things by myself. I have a strategic...team.” — H (Ludacris) [25:09]
• Twitter, Touring, & Branding:
  He discusses embracing Twitter, touring with the Black Eyed Peas, and launching his own cognac (Conjure), mixing personal stories with business insights.
  • “Those tweets, the Luda Juice, you know, I know it’s a bunch of impersonators, but Luda Juice is the tweet.” — H [27:38]
  • “What I did with this cognac, I actually helped hand-blend it myself in Cognac, France.” — H [29:19]
• Advice & Longevity:
  Emphasis on staying hungry, clear enunciation in rap, and self-education in business.
  • “They say this is, you know, 90% business, 10% music.” — H [32:58]
• Philanthropy:
  He shares that while he’s the face of his charitable foundation, his mother and a director guide much of the work.
• Listeners Chime In:
  Fans express admiration, recalling seeing Luda in concert or on TV, leading Luda to promise more local appearances.

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4. Chris Brown’s Struggles & Public Perception

Timestamps: [37:25] – [40:29]

• Chris Brown’s Video Plea:
  The crew plays and analyzes Chris Brown’s heartfelt message to fans, lamenting that radio no longer supports his music post-assault scandal.
• Discussion on Reputation Recovery:
  Hosts agree that Chris Brown’s post-crisis actions failed to win back trust; discuss public forgiveness versus personal responsibility.
  • “If it was anyone else, that would be sad. But given he put himself in that circumstance…he now has to ask for help.” — A [39:36]
• Comparison to Other Redemption Arcs:
  The group notes that disappearing, getting help, then returning can be more effective for career rehabilitation.

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5. Ron Jeremy Teaser & Listener Engagement

Timestamps: [41:03] – [42:44]

• Teasing an Interview:
  Bert floats the idea of interviewing Ron Jeremy, controversial adult film star, as an educational (not sensational) segment after 8:30.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  Some hosts express intrigue, others slight discomfort, ensuring the tone will stay “respectful” and “for the audience,” not personal amusement.
  • “I think would be intriguing... As long as the interview’s for our audience and not for you too.” — D [41:33]

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6. Melissa’s Birthday Celebration & Running Gags

Timestamps: [42:45] – [46:32]

• Listeners Call In:
  Listeners wish Melissa Carter a happy birthday; some admit to “straight girl” crushes on her and recall her early radio days.
• Elaborate Running Joke:
  The show airs a spoof “news report” claiming Melissa is now the world’s oldest woman (at 130 years).
  • “I’m honored, first of all, to be able to still have the voice of youth that I had being 130 years old.” — D (Melissa) [44:36]
• Secret to Longevity Bit:
  Melissa jokes about “Bailey’s in coffee and no men in my bed” as her secret, giving the segment a classic Bert Show blend of laughs and banter.

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Memorable Quotes

• “Women have body image issues because we are judged first and foremost on our looks before anything else.” — D [13:41]
• “If you’re not going to be the lead example, eventually they’re going to follow in your footsteps.” — B [16:51]
• “Ludacris is hands down the most buttoned-up, professional, on-time, courteous guest that we have on this show ever.” — A [23:38]
• “You’ve had your share of disputes...but you’ve done a really good job of squashing those behind the scenes before it becomes a Wikipedia entry.” — A [34:03]
• “They say this is, you know, 90% business, 10% music.” — H (Ludacris) [32:58]
• “When he said it for the first time...that’s my fault because I am constantly worried about my weight.” — F (Stacy) [21:45]

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Segment Timestamps Overview

| Segment | Timeframe | |------------------------------|-------------| | Townhouse Mystery | 00:22–08:03 | | Body Image & Parenting | 11:03–22:42 | | Ludacris Interview | 23:21–37:20 | | Chris Brown’s Struggles | 37:25–40:29 | | Ron Jeremy Talk Teaser | 41:03–42:44 | | Melissa’s Birthday | 42:45–46:32 |

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Tone & Style

The Bert Show maintains its signature style: mixing real-life issues with offbeat humor, listener engagement, and pop culture conversations. Quick-witted, candid, and occasionally irreverent, the show balances heart with hilarity, always drawing the audience into the conversation.

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For New Listeners

Whether you’re tuning in for laughs, insightful (sometimes raw) discussions, or celebrity guest spots, this episode captures the heart of The Bert Show: authentic conversations, community vibes, and the friendly chaos of a true morning radio family.

Transcript

[A]

Oh, I have had no luck lately.

[B]

Wait. Lady luck Britsky. I got you. I've had so much luck on spinquest.com they have all of my favorite games, Slot games, live blackjack craps, and bubble craps.

[C]

You can even get a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[A]

10 bucks for 30. I'm headed over to spinquest.com right now.

[C]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. My new website's been getting a lot of attention lately, and here's my secret. I used WIX Harmony. It's one of my favorite tools because it feels like such a natural way to create. And I have so much control over my website. I can just tell Aria, my AI agent, to create whatever I'm imagining in my head, or I can click anywhere on my site and change things myself. Try it for [e-mail] Harmony that's wix.com Harmony, the bird show. All right, let's get Whitney on here, because Whitney called us yesterday and told us this story that we've told so many times now that this dude shows up to her townhouse community. It's a gated townhouse community every day, parks and then walks behind this row of townhomes and then goes into one townhouse for five minutes and then comes back out. And she just wants to know who this dude is.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, Whitney.

[E]

Hi. Hi.

[C]

How are you?

[E]

Good. How are you?

[C]

Good. Okay, now, this is normally the time the dude shows up, right?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. Have you had contact with Frankie?

[E]

Yes, he's right here.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

He's in my house with me.

[A]

Are you guys still dressed?

[B]

Jeff?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Making sure Frankie is a lover.

[C]

Did dude show up? Not Frankie? Did the strange guy show up?

[E]

He showed up, kind of like, made a U turn and left. So we're kind of wondering what he's doing.

[A]

Have you sent Frankie out to locate the fella?

[E]

Frankie's right here next to me. We're kind of, like, kind of confused with what's happening.

[D]

Did he turn around because of any. Like, was Frankie outside, or did he turn around on his own before Frankie had a ch to go out?

[F]

No.

[E]

We were inside, and I saw him pull up, and I was like, that's him. But he never went in the parking spot that he normally parks in.

[C]

So on all the date, all the day for the last couple of months that you've been watching this guy, he's never pulled a U turn before?

[E]

Never. Never ever.

[A]

So do you think he did? Do you think he's listening or heard about it, and he's like, you know what? I'm gonna do something a little bit different today and see if they talk about it.

[D]

Or he figured out it was him

[A]

so I can confirm it's me. Yeah, because if he knew, if he was 100% sure, he just wouldn't show up. But if he wanted to confirm it, he would just have to do something weird.

[D]

And all he has to do is call us voice disguiser and just tell us what he's doing.

[C]

Well, unless it really was like a drug related thing or something's under the table.

[D]

Voice disguiser just let us know and

[A]

then they'll show up at the sound. That's not gonna work, melissa. We're getting 500 calls right now from people going, hello, I'm in the voice disguiser. I was the person up there. I made the U turn because I was just feeding my pit.

[G]

Click,

[A]

play trombone.

[C]

So, I mean, what are the chances of the dude actually being a listener at that time? And you said the dude was like in his late 40s, early 50s or something like that?

[E]

I would say like late 30s, late 30s, maybe.

[B]

Did Frankie park in his parking spot?

[E]

No.

[B]

That got a chuckle.

[C]

You really need to watch Frankie very, very carefully in your house. Well, you put Frank on real quick.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Hello.

[C]

Dude, how did you totally mess this up?

[F]

Frankie's on the covers.

[G]

Blown. I knew I shouldn't have taken the Q100 vehicle.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

So the dude just pulls in and then pulls a ue, huh? Hold on a second.

[G]

Hold up. She's like, I know that's his car. And he all. He just. He didn't even stay in the parking spot for a second and then turned around and went back the other way. So I walked out and just walked around the neighborhood, and I didn't see any car. And then as soon as I came up the house, she said she saw him pull out.

[C]

Well, now I'm even more curious.

[D]

So he pulled into the spot but didn't stay?

[G]

Yeah, he didn't stay at all. Like, he didn't even. It was weird.

[C]

Can we. Can you walk down to the townhouse that he normally goes to and just peek in the window in the back?

[H]

I did. I did already.

[C]

What was in there?

[G]

It looks like there, you know, there's chairs through the window. You can see, like, chairs, maybe kitchen table or something like that. It looks like the house is lived in on the deck. There's chairs and a table, and it

[D]

doesn't look like it's staged, for sale, like it's lived in. Or does it? You know, what I mean is, like,

[G]

if it's a model home, you know, it could be. I wasn't. I can't really see in the house that much. So it could be a model home, but, you know, it. Then again, it couldn't be.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you for clearing that up.

[C]

That's why we sent you down there.

[A]

Made a lot of choices. People we could have selected, but we wanted to go with the most ambiguous person we could find.

[H]

Well, damn.

[C]

I'm more curious now than I was yesterday.

[D]

Now, what made him turn around today?

[A]

Frankie, would you be opposed to moving in with Whitney?

[H]

Yeah, sure, I could do that.

[C]

She's very accommodating. Look, there's even a bigger issue on the table here. Good morning, Jennifer. You're on Q100. Hi.

[F]

Oh, hi. I was just wanting to know if there's a picture of Frankie online so we can all see what this big, bad buff guy looks like.

[C]

You're kind of interested, Frankie, aren't you? He's too much.

[F]

And how old is he? And is he single? Does he like long walks on the beach?

[E]

You know, the whole vibe.

[D]

All right, he runs.

[E]

Jennifer, you need to know everything.

[A]

You're embarrassing yourself with your desperation right now, Jennifer. That's number one. And number two, he has a running ad on Craigslist under Discreet Encounters.

[F]

Oh, that's hot. Me, too. Awesome.

[A]

I'm like the other singles in Atlanta.

[F]

You can find me on Craigslist. Oh, my gosh, I'd love to work your beer tub. How about that?

[C]

Actually, I'm gonna put you on hold.

[D]

Don't go anywhere.

[C]

As Frankie's relationship agent, I'm gonna put you on hold. We may be interested. Hold on.

[F]

Awesome.

[C]

Yeah, definitely.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[C]

Okay, so what do we do now? I mean, do we just wait for tomorrow to see if he shows back up?

[B]

We've got to go again tomorrow. Or Frankie at least does.

[A]

Frankie, what are you doing tomorrow morning?

[G]

I guess I'm coming here.

[E]

Indeed.

[A]

Hey, I'm going to ask you that again, and will you answer with a little bit more enthusiasm?

[G]

I'm coming back because we're going to

[A]

catch this guy Frankie, see if he

[B]

makes any more U turns. If he keeps doing it.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Thanks for the time. Will you put her back on real quick?

[G]

Yeah, you got it.

[C]

I'm really kind of confused now.

[B]

I know.

[D]

The only day he's ever done it.

[E]

Hello?

[C]

So you're gonna have to give us a call if he shows back up, like in 20 minutes or something. Okay, you gotta give us a call

[D]

back and let me ask a question in the time, because just to kind of throw this off the table, the fact that it's raining today. You've seen him walk back there in bad weather before, right?

[E]

Like, I haven't really noticed in the rain as well, because, I mean, I have two young kids, so I just watch them throughout the day.

[C]

But I think we'll put this on hold for a couple of days. Frankie. Frankie doesn't need to show up there tomorrow.

[D]

Because I'm just wondering, because it's. The only difference between today in the recent days is because the weather's bad, but the fact that he still came and parked and then pulled out and then left.

[C]

You know, why don't we try this again on Friday or Monday?

[G]

Perfect.

[C]

Okay. All right, Whitney, thanks a lot.

[E]

Okay, no problem.

[C]

All right, we'll talk to you later.

[A]

Bye. Bye. You have to make Frankie breakfast, by the way.

[C]

I promised him how he set him up with a beer tub girl, and now he's getting breakfast.

[H]

Yep, life is good.

[D]

But you know what? Guess. Cause he's Frankie. That's what Frankie's all about.

[C]

Hey, Kim. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[I]

Hi.

[E]

Hi.

[F]

Hey, why not just. If it's a model home, why not call the management company for the townhomes and just say, hey, we want to go look at the model home.

[A]

We don't know if it is.

[C]

There doesn't seem to be like a for sale sign in the driveway or anything. So I don't know. I'm more confused today than we were yesterday. Hey, the bird show. I was just saying to these guys, I feel bad for Jen Hobby. She's about to get on a plane and go on out to la and she's doing some behind the scenes with American Idol. We're the only morning show that Fox said, hey, you guys want to come on out and hang out? So Jen is going out to LA to do some behind the scenes American Idol stuff. And she's got this cold right now. And the timing is just right for this whole conversation because, man, when I was flying back from Costa Rica last week. Is a sneeze ever louder to you than when you're on a plane?

[D]

Like, you don't want the. If you're. Well, then you don't want to be the one.

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[D]

Because you're like, oh, my God, I'm getting this in five minutes.

[C]

And I feel guilty you could almost. Because you're in the plane and the snot has nowhere to go except up everybody's nose. And you can hear a SNEEZE in row 32 if you're in row 4.

[A]

I feel guilty because I still had, you know, I had that flu or whatever it was that week after Burt's big adventure. And I felt guilty cause I still had a bit of a cough on the way back or on the way down on my vacation. So not a bit of a cough. Like I was coughing and I felt so, like. I mean, I was like wrapping up my mouth like nobody's visiting because I felt guilty because they're trapped. And I always envision that scene from the Outbreak movie where they show the germs going up in the vent and passing through the duct and then coming down and into the person's nose.

[D]

And you talk about as soon as I can hear somebody blowing their nose on a plane, you know what I mean? With the same thought, like, God, get me off this plane. And she's on the plane for how, what, three, three, four hours, four and

[C]

a half hours or something like that. The terminal also, man, like when you're healthy and people are sick around you, you feel like everybody's sneezing around you and nobody's covering their nose. Right. In that train too, on the marta. You mean the train? Gate to gate.

[I]

Yeah.

[A]

There's nowhere to go.

[B]

You're like, get away from me.

[H]

Don't hold on to the pole.

[B]

Don't touch anything.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So Jen is on her way out to LA. Thank you very much to American Idol and Fox 5 for choosing us to go on out there and do some behind the scenes stuff for you guys.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

The first show. Ahora Mascolos Hillares.

[A]

Get it?

[C]

The Birch Show. And I've got something to read to the women of the bird show and the women in the bird show community.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And to me, it didn't strike to my heart because I'm not a woman technically, but I thought in reading it that it may be more impactful, you guys, Women would have more of an opinion on this than guys.

[G]

Okay?

[C]

So if you want to get in on this. 404741. Q100. The article is called I Don't Want my Daughter to be Fat.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right. And I'll post it online at q100atlanta.com. When my mother and I enrolled my 2 year old daughter in gymnastics, I told the teacher that we hoped the class would help break the cycle of fat ass in our family. The instructor laughed and I didn't mean to be funny. As far back as I can trace, the women on my mother's side of the family have been overweight. My mom was heavy, over 200 pounds. For much of her life. Her mom was heavy, and I heard my great grandmother was heavy too. As a kid, I was always embarrassed by my mom's girth. And yet I was chubby too. I was teased about it constantly, and I developed a pretty warped body image. When puberty hit, I started to suffer from what I like to call Monica Lewinsky syndrome. I made up for my full figure by being funny, sexy, and giving really good. You know what I'm talking. It's not like I was unattractive. I had had a lot of boyfriends, but I do think that part of what they were attracted to was the fact that I was easy. And I was easy because I felt like I couldn't stand not to be. As I grew up, I started to get a handle on my eating and my self image. Although my weight went up and down throughout my teens and twenties, I learned to love my body at any weight and consequently was a lot pickier about who I shared my body with. Once I had a baby and got married. Yes, in that order. I got pretty complacent about my figure. I'm now heavier than I've ever been and I'd be okay with that if it weren't for my daughter. I worry that when she gets older, she'll be ashamed of my weight, just like I was ashamed of my mom's. I worry she'll have a similar weight problem and actually and act slutty just to be liked. I worry she'll have health issues. Hell, I worry she'll just be unhappy. So far, my daughter is the spitting image of her father. And he's skinny. He's the kind of person who forgets to eat lunch. Feel free to curse at him if you want. She says she does this every day. He can also chow down on his fried foods for a week and not gain a pound. I'm hoping she continues to take after him, but in the interim, I'm doing the best I can to feed her healthy foods and encourage exercise. Two things my own folks didn't do for me and two things that I still don't do for myself. And yet, I wonder if she still turns out heavy. Will she hate me? Or worse, will she hate herself?

[D]

Wow. I think that has to do with her. Like, I think the first thoughts that came to mind as you read that Because I mean, we've talked over and over again about, yes, women have image, body image issues because we are judged first and foremost on our looks before anything else. But I think that I've learned not to associate insecurity with weight, you know, because I think that so many of us do. But I think I've known far more insecure skinny girls than heavier girls because I think that there's the, because there's a part of me as I've grown older because I'm attracted to women. The women I'm attracted to are not the skinniest ones because when I see someone who is overly muscular or really skinny, I think they have a complex. They are obsessed with their weight. And I don't think that's attractive because I think that that's a sign of insecurity. So I think that she's the role model for her daughter. You know, just like my mother was a role model for me not to worry about aging. She, you know, her question is if my daughter going to be insecure about her weight. Well, yes, if you are constantly criticizing your own. Yes, she will because she's learning from you how to be a woman.

[C]

404-741-Q100. Hey Ashley, you're on the voice disguiser.

[E]

Hey.

[I]

Hey.

[A]

What's going on?

[E]

I was just calling to tell you that my daughter, she is five and I started to notice that she started to pick up on the weight gain. Like she's really tall for her age but she started to pick up on the weight gain as well. So we modified her eating habits. Like she doesn't get as much cakes and snacks and stuff like the little baby snacks and stuff. And we put her into a stalker to help run off all the weight.

[F]

Well, the exodus.

[E]

She's not overweight at all. But I noticed that it started to get that way and I was never taught to eat properly whenever I was growing up. So it's something that concerns me a lot.

[A]

Are you healthy or are you overweight?

[E]

I am.

[A]

You are overweight?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Because Jessica has one of her friends who lives out in Arizona is a bigger woman and had her five year old daughter at one point doing a modified version of Atkinson.

[C]

Oh, come on.

[A]

Not kidding.

[E]

We just incorporate more fruits and vegetables versus like the snack cakes and candy and stuff like that. And she, we modify the TV time like it's nothing drastic. It's actually the steps that, you know, we need to take for our children. And at first we wasn't on that path. We, I was just, I was Feeding her the same things that, you know, I ate as a kid. You know, we didn't really keep a lot of healthy snacks in the house when I was a child, and so I just stopped buying all the unhealthy snacks.

[B]

Well, I definitely agree. Putting your child on a nutrition plan young, having them eating healthy foods, especially at a young age, giving, getting them involved in exercise. But if you're not going to be the lead example, eventually they're going to follow in your footsteps. So I think as a parent, if you're going to have your child do all the nutrition stuff, eat fresh foods, eat good meals, you need to do the same thing for yourself because they're just going to learn from you.

[C]

You know what the problem with this really is is that I think people, anybody in here our age, I think, wasn't very well educated when it comes to nutrition. You know, now that I do the healthy trim commercials, I'm getting all sorts of emails from people that have zero idea how to eat properly. Look, if you know how to eat properly, you don't need healthy trim. The problem is most people don't know how to eat properly. You don't know a good carb from a bad carb. You didn't take the nutrition classes in college and in high school, and you weren't interested in it. So teaching your kids is almost impossible. So I'm not in school now, but I hope they're doing a better job of it now than they were when I was a kid.

[D]

And going on further with that, I think if you teach your ch, I think it's how you introduce your children to these healthy foods too. Like, I mean, fruits, vegetables, you know, those are. Those are pretty healthy foods that you should be feeding your child more of than the, like she said, like the Little Debbie snack cakes and stuff. Nothing against the Little Debbie snack cakes.

[C]

They got their place.

[D]

I mean, come on now. But I think instead of it, you know, it's how you introduce it. If you're introducing it is, you know, you won't get fat. As opposed to, hey, doesn't this taste good? I mean, that's a part of it, too.

[C]

Hey, Lynn. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[F]

Good morning. I love your show.

[D]

Thank you.

[F]

My daughter is four now, but this has been going on her whole life. We've had complete strangers come up and call her fat to her face.

[C]

Oh, at four years old?

[E]

Yes.

[F]

This happened within probably the last six months.

[A]

Are they doing it in a cute little way like, oh, look at the chubby Little girl or is it like,

[F]

wow, oh, you're so fat.

[C]

Well, to a four year no such thing as a cute little. Well, look at the cute little chubby little girl.

[F]

Really started to take an effect on her. She's told me that she didn't want to wear certain things because it makes her look, her belly look big.

[C]

Four years old.

[A]

Well, if she's ready to be high school skinny, I got a phone number for her.

[C]

My little healthy trip.

[D]

Yeah, that's so ridiculous. At 4 years old I scary. That was not even on my radar at 4.

[C]

I don't think that's so uncommon. Like Hayden has come home. He's seven now and I hear him talking about being skinny or him referring to his two year old brother as fat.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Because some of the TV shows for kids, especially girls, are making them that way. There's one Bratz show that has the girl getting a nose job and these are for four year olds. Three and four year olds can start watching the Bratz so they get their body image just from the shows they're watching. So of course they know what fat is and what's going to look good. And they're comparing their bodies already to other four year olds.

[C]

Here's Tatiana. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning. Love you guys.

[C]

Thank you. Loving you right back, darling.

[F]

I could have wrote that article myself. It's exactly like my family cycle. I guess in the African American community, you know, weight is not a heavier weight is not as looked upon as badly.

[D]

Right.

[F]

And I'm overweight. I'm 100 pounds more heavier than my husband pre pregnancy because I'm pregnant right now. But I've been on a campaign for the last eight months. My child is due next month. You know, to really get myself back in shape once the child comes and stocking up on healthy trim. So once the baby is here, I can get back high school skinny because I am afraid that she'll go through everything that I went through. I was £250 in the fifth grade and it wasn't a huge problem in my family. Nobody said, you know, Harry, this is a problem. And they feed, you know, I keep telling know, you're not going to feed my child mashed potatoes at six months and french fries. And that's just how our culture is and my family in particular about weight. A little weight never hurt anybody. So we just have a heavy, heavy family. And I don't want her to come into that and see, you know, I want her to accept her weight. But not say, you know, being £250 is a problem.

[C]

Right?

[H]

Right.

[F]

And our family doesn't seem like that. They just say, you know, big and sexy. And I'm just big and sexy. But no, I'm just big.

[C]

Here is my wife. Stacy wants in on this. Hey, Stace.

[F]

Hey. I didn't know if you remembered, like, how Hayden lately, I don't know, last couple of months or whatever, he'll put something on and he'll go, does this make me look fat?

[C]

No, I haven't heard him say that.

[F]

Yeah, he'll get dressed and he'll come into me and he'll be like, this shirt makes me look fat. Or this. And I'm like, dude, okay. We won't even let him take his clothes off in front of people because he's so skinny.

[C]

He's so thin. Like, I mean, in our house, it's the other way around. It's like, you gotta gain weight, man. Gain weight. Gain weight. Cause I'm really nervous that Defax is gonna knock on the door, and I can't do that again. I've got a folder already.

[A]

You're in somebody's car right now, and they're just driving around.

[D]

Two things about that. One is because he's seven, but another's because he's a boy. You know what I mean? So that's also disturbing. Cause it's disturbing enough for a woman to do that, but now it's boys and girls that are saying that.

[C]

Yeah, this body conscious stuff, I mean, it's really happening really early. Stacy's talking about our 7 year old, but we took calls from women that were talking about their four year olds already, man.

[D]

So it's never too, wow.

[F]

Well, the thing that's bothersome about it to me was when he said it for the first time, I was like, this is my fault because I am constantly worried about my weight. I constantly say to Bert, does this make me look fat? Do I look fat in this? And I'm like, I can't do that anymore. I'm making them. It is our fault. It is our responsibility. Like, I felt horrible about it. I just found that I'm not doing that anymore. I'm just trying to be comfortable in my own skin. And it is what it is, and you can't have that. I mean, this kid shouldn't think he looks bad ever.

[I]

I know.

[C]

And you think your kids aren't listening, man. They are listening to everything and watching you all the time and processing and judging.

[A]

Maybe Dolvett will give Stacy And Hayden like a deal, like, if they going together. Come on, Hayden can, you know, encourage mommy, and Mommy can encourage. Come on, Hayden. Do it till you puke. You can do it.

[F]

You can.

[A]

You don't want to be that, do you?

[C]

I'll see you, darling. Bye.

[H]

Bye.

[C]

You're on the Birch Show. The laws. Try to list the material.

[A]

Listen, it's the Bird Show.

[B]

I'm obsessed with Ludacris.

[D]

He's my favorite. This voice is my favorite rapper voice.

[A]

If you follow him on Twitter, you know, this album's been coming forever. And he's been tweeting about it and talking about it and promoting it. And he was scheduled to come on, and I don't know when we're gonna learn. Ludacris. Welcome to the Bird Show.

[H]

What up, man?

[E]

What's going on?

[A]

What's going on, Luda? Here's the lesson that we need to learn and somebody's gotta remember, remind us of this. Ludacris is hands down the most button up, professional, on time, courteous guest that we have on this show ever again. Movie, tv, music, book author, whatever it is, and consistently early.

[D]

Yes, agreed. And every time, we forget and it screws us up.

[A]

Luda. Cause I seriously, like. Let's say we book. I don't know, we got Tom Cruise on the show, right? You know, to talk about a movie or something. He's scheduled for 8:15. We'll plan for 8:25, 8:30 every time. And when Luda's on, we schedule him for 8:15, and Luda calls us 15, 20 minutes early every morning.

[H]

Here's a lesson to all of the people listening, man, you get there on time, you also leave on time.

[A]

Now here's. And you bring up lessons. And this is not. I mean, I'm not joking about this, seriously. A lesson from Ludacris about the way to conduct business. Because Luda's nonstop. I mean, it started in radio, and radio turned into music, and music went to movies, and now you're doing booze and you're doing TV and you're doing everything.

[D]

What year is it?

[A]

How do you manage that? What lessons would you teach someone if when your girl comes up to you and says, daddy, I want to be a mogul just like you, what's the lesson that you can share?

[H]

I'm going to be honest with you, man. A lot of people, they only see, you know, that the outside of things. The lesson to share that you have to have a strong team around you in whatever that you do. And it has to Be experienced individuals most of the time. You know what I mean? Because like you said, it's just handling a lot of different jobs. But I'm here to let everybody know I don't do all of these things by myself. I have a strategic, you know, partnership and strategic people that are around me. Business minded individuals for each and every one of those entities. And that's what you need to understand.

[A]

Did you. Is there nervousness when you were getting started giving up any of that control?

[H]

Giving up control?

[A]

Yeah, like saying to somebody else, okay, you're gonna be in charge of like, you know, finding me some movie roles and making the movies happen. You're gonna be in charge of my restaurant.

[H]

Oh, yeah. But if somebody's not doing their job right, then it's time to replace that. You know, you gotta, gotta play musical chairs sometimes.

[A]

If it all had to go away and you can only keep one, which one would you do?

[H]

Man, I'm not forgetting that music is what got me here in the first place. So I'm not losing sight of that right now. That's why this Battle of the Sexes album that I'm telling everybody to go get, is that important. Because it'll show that I'm just as hungry and just as is on point as the very first album, man.

[B]

And you were recently on tour with the Black Eyed Peas. Are you gonna be going out on your own? Because I think you and by yourself, you can put on a great concert and you don't need an opening act or anything. It can just be ludicrous.

[H]

Oh, absolutely. No, we definitely gonna continue the tour. So we will be very soon doing some shows, you know, in the hometown and more. Because that we did the very first show on the tour was Atlanta.

[D]

I know it is crazy as it

[H]

is, but yes, you're right. I definitely will be going. Going back on the road.

[A]

Yeah. Don't tell Will I am this, but I bought my Black Eyed Peace tickets after they announced you being added to the bill.

[H]

It's all good. I won't say that.

[A]

All right, so Ludacris, if you're on Twitter, you follow ludaJuices on Twitter. And Ludy, we're actually gonna tweet something to you in a few minutes. Cause one of the producers on our show, Natalie, when I sent out the email, we confirmed this interview yesterday. And when I sent out the email, I forgot to indicate whether or not you'd be calling in on the phone or coming in studio.

[H]

Right.

[A]

She got up early and got dressed up.

[H]

Yeah, yeah, man. Send me That I gotta see that.

[A]

Now, the beauty of Twitter is we can just tweet that up to you, and then you can take a look and you can write back to her directly or whatever. But are all those tweets 100% yours?

[H]

Yeah, yeah. No, those tweets, the Lutet Juice, you know, I know it's a bunch of impersonators, but Lulda Juice is the tweet. You gotta keep people afloat of what's going on in the world.

[A]

Who was the one who told you to embrace Twitter? Or was that 100% you? Because I knew about Battle of the Sexes, you know, a year ago.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and following you and your question and answer and getting feedback and, like, almost walking through the process as you were going in studio and bringing different people in and stuff.

[H]

Yeah. As far as the actual Twitter, somebody did, like, kind of convince me, and once they showed me I could do it from my own iPhone, that's when I was convinced, because I was like, oh, okay, I don't have to do much in order to make it happen. And so as far as the Battle with the Sexes questions every day. That was the idea that I came up with to promote this album. And, you know, whenever somebody works so hard on an album and it finally gets unleashed to the world, man, there's no. There's no, like, words that can explain how great that feels. So during this weekend, like I said, whether you go to the store, you get it on itunes. The itunes, I believe, man, you get a deal, you get, like, three extra songs, two extra videos, and all that. You got to buy this Battle of the Sexes album because you need it in your life.

[A]

Also, watching it come to life on Twitter was the new conjure. Am I saying that right?

[H]

Yeah. Conjure cognac. We did a soft launch in Georgia, man, and everybody that knows about it, they know about it. Those that don't, you need to go and make sure you try something. For all the responsible, over 21 drankers.

[A]

Now, there's gotta be some. But the problem with if you release your own drink line, you can never be caught holding on to anything else, Right?

[H]

I don't want to drink anything else. Once you take a sip of this, you'll understand how great it is, man, because anybody who drinks cognac, or even if you don't, it's different grades of it. So, you know, you have, like, VSS, you have EXOs, you have VSOPs. But what I did with this cognac, I actually helped hand blend it myself in cognac. France. And the long story short, it has all three of these great cognacs mixed in it for a better price that you would pay for, like, a regular Vs. So, I mean, there's nothing else that needs to be said. It's better quality for a better price, man. Especially in these economic times. And it's extremely smooth, and you don't get a hangover. That's how smooth it is. So I guarantee you need to try some asap.

[B]

You can try that tonight.

[A]

Melissa's got a big birthday party tomorrow night. I just got your gift.

[I]

Perfect.

[A]

Bring it. A camera?

[H]

Absolutely. Well, luckily, like I say, it's not available in the rest of the entire country just yet, but we do have it in my home state of Georgia, so make sure you go support that tonight.

[D]

Perfect. And I won't have a hangover on Sunday, so that's perfect.

[H]

Hey, exactly.

[A]

Debbie, welcome to the Bird show. You're talking to Ludacris.

[H]

What's up, Deb?

[F]

Hey, I just wanted to mention, first of all, I love your new cd. It's off the hook. And, you know, here in the atl, all the strip clubs are banging. How low can you go?

[B]

I'm sure they help you.

[F]

That's like the anthem for the summer. Anyway, I wanted to comment. I saw you on Regis and Kelly during the week, and I just wanted to tell you you were great. And I'm gonna tell you why. Big ups and props to you for trying to keep awake. Because, baby, I saw the eyes blinking like crazy.

[H]

Yeah, I was. I had, like, three hours of sleep, so I had to try and make sure I stayed up. But I was good. I woke up. It took me a minute to wake

[F]

up for not drinking the. Not eating the breast milk cheese or whatever that was.

[H]

Oh, yeah, I wasn't on there. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

[G]

He was like, nope, not me.

[F]

You go ahead and eat that. But anyway, your performance was great, and I can't wait to see you somewhere in concert. And I just wanted to tell you I love your cd.

[H]

Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, man, I'm glad. This is album number seven for me, so, yes, Battle of the Sexes is official, and I'm glad you like.

[B]

And going back to the album. You wrote a song called Sexting about Tiger Woods. Is there any advice you'd give Tiger woods in the situation he's in right now?

[H]

You know, he's just kind of like the face of sexting. I mean, you know, I think that he's taking the Proper measures to do what he has to do. You know what I mean? It's a lot of people that Sext, that thinks that he's just the face of it, so it's really just bringing, you know, light to reality.

[A]

Would you. But if he did walk up to you and he was standing in front of you and said, you know what? I appreciate the song, but can you make it go away forever? Would you respect his wishes? Or is it a situation where he put himself in the head?

[H]

Can we make it go away forever? Battle of the sex it happens to be flying off the shelf it's too late.

[A]

The Bird show talking to Ludacris, Atlanta's own Ludacris on Q100.

[G]

But Luda, this is Carl. Man, I just wanted to ask you a question. When you came out, the big thing to me is how you enunciate it, like, as opposed to every other rapper that came out.

[C]

They slurred and, you know, didn't really speak real clearly.

[G]

Do you contribute that to the longevity of your career? And another thing, as far as you're making business moves, because your business moves, man, they seem to really just be just on point every time you make one. So I'm just wondering, how do you. How do you contribute to the longevity of what you've been doing, really?

[H]

As far as the first question, man, I've always made it a point to try and have individuals understand every word that I say. Because the most, like, the worst thing I hear about, you know, rap music, you know, from different people, is that they can't understand a lot of the words. So I just make it a point as far as the longevity, man, I just stay hungry, man. I love music, like, period. So I get inspired and motivated by a little bit of everything, stuff that's new and stuff that's old. So I would but definitely say that. And always trying to educate myself as far as the business is concerned, because they say this is, you know, 90% business, 10% music. So people always gotta make sure they stay on point, self educate themselves on whatever they gonna do. Right? I would definitely say that. Good question, though.

[G]

Yeah, it seemed like you learned that

[C]

before you started all this.

[H]

Good question. Oh, yeah, man. You gotta read up on stuff.

[A]

You've also done a good job. I mean, you've had a share of, you know, your share of disputes, you know, in the rap community, but I think you've done a really good job of squashing those and handle them, like, kind of behind the scenes before it becomes, you know, page Long Wikipedia entries about this. And then he said this and then he said that. Is that.

[H]

Some I have, some I haven't. But yeah, you know, I always try to make sure we can, you know, we continue to keep it fun at the end of the day. Right.

[A]

So when you do get. Cuz you're. Where are you now? Chicago, Milwaukee, somewhere like that?

[H]

Chicago, yeah.

[A]

How often do you get back to Atlanta and get to see family and

[H]

the girl and everybody, man, you know, I'll make sure I'll make it a point to do that. If not, then I bring. I bring family or I'll bring, you know, my daughter to where I'm at when she's not in school. So, yeah, I would say, you know, I can't go without unless I'm on tour. It's like, you know, two weeks or so. I can't go without seeing my daughter.

[B]

Man, you gotta come in studio next time you're in Atlanta. Because every time you're in Atlanta and you're in the studio, I happen to not be in here.

[A]

And you've never met Ludacris?

[H]

No.

[B]

And I'm obsessed with Ludacris. Ludacris, I'm obsessed with you because ever Since I was 16 years old, I had to go sneak out and get your first CD back for the first time. I had to sneak out and get that so my parents wouldn't know I was listening to bad lyrics.

[H]

Oh, man. All right, well, yeah, next time I'm gonna have to come into the studio for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Ludacris, you're sweet. Because I thought if Wendy said I'm obsessed with you coming studio, I thought, well, that's gonna guarantee.

[A]

Well, he's saying I'm coming in. He's saying I'm coming in studio. But he's making a note right now and sliding it over to his manager. No Q100, extra security, man, I'm down.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

What do you. When you are back in Atlanta for a period of time outside of Straits, what do you do? What's fun for Ludacris?

[H]

Man? Taking my daughter places where we both have fun, man. I definitely give a shout out. There's this place called Durham Town. Durham Town outside of like 40 minutes outside of Atlanta, where you can ride a whole bunch of four wheeler and motorcycles and all kind of stuff. I love going there, man. I'm kind of adventure type, dude. I love all that.

[D]

Cool.

[A]

Hey, Connie, you're on the Bird show with Ludacris.

[F]

Good morning, Ludacris. Good morning, I'm a teacher in the Atlanta area, and I love the things you're doing with your foundation. And I don't think a lot of people know how much you give back. Is that your choices or is someone guiding the foundation?

[H]

Again, a lot of those are my choices. But like I said before, you know, it's not just me on a lot of these things. My mother is the president of my foundation. Of course I have a director. So we all come with ideas and we all stay afloat of what's going on. So I'll never take 100% credit for any of these things.

[F]

Well, I really appreciate you're such a great role model for the youth, and so much of what you do gives back to them that we really appreciate it.

[H]

No, I appreciate the love, and I'll continue to make you proud.

[F]

Thank you.

[D]

Aw.

[A]

Hey, Ludacris, thank you so much for taking the time to join us this morning. We know you're busy creating cognacs and opening restaurants and being on TV and being in movies and making music. So congratulations on. What'd you say? Number seven.

[H]

Yeah. Album number seven, man. Battle of the Sexes is in stores and on itunes right now. So let's go, man. Let's get it to number one.

[A]

All right, check your Twitter in a couple minutes and we'll put a picture of Natalie up for you.

[H]

All right, man. Appreciate it.

[A]

All right, Ludacris, and don't forget, next time you're in Atlanta, we'll see you in studio.

[H]

Okay, I love. I'll talk to you soon.

[A]

All right, Thanks a lot. It's Atlanta's own Ludacris joining the Burt show on Q100.

[C]

This is the Burt Show. This is the Burt Show. I wanted to play this for you because a lot, you know, when the whole Chris Brown Rihanna thing happened, we were wondering what the fallout was going to be career wise for Chris Brown.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Well, now you fast forward to now, and it sure looks like it had a tremendous impact on his career. I'm not exactly sure where he posted this yesterday, but this is Chris Brown. This is almost 90 seconds of Chris Brown saying, I need your help, people. No one's buying my stuff anymore. Radio's not helping me out. So if you're a fan, someone's gotta buy something.

[G]

Hey, what's up, y'? All? CB Well, I ain't never really did this, but right now I'm just calling y', all, man. I need all of my fans help, man. I need all of the fans that I have. I need Your help. It's crazy because a lot of radio stations, and some are. I'm not gonna say people aren't, but some radio stations aren't playing my records, but they're not. They're not being that supportive, and I wouldn't expect them to. But it's on the fans and on everything you guys do and y' all power to bring me back because that's all I need me and that is you guys. And nothing else would do that except for the fans. So I don't know what else to say. Like, it's nothing else that I can do. I'm doing everything I need to do, and I'm doing. I'm doing me as a person. I'm a better guy. But it's only all because my singing, my music, it's all great, and I do it for y', all, and I do it for the love and everything else. But it won't be possible if I'm not. If I'm not relevant on the radio, and it won't be possible for me to be an artist if I don't have any support from people that give me an artist outlet. I can't be an underground mixtape artist. And so that's what we. That's who we are. I just want all my fans to help me, man. So I love you.

[A]

It's almost sad.

[C]

What he's saying is. I mean, what I hear him saying is that radio won't support him anymore, so you can't hear the music that he's playing. So he needs support somewhere. He's not getting it. He's begging, right?

[A]

Yeah, that's a begging.

[B]

I don't think he's gonna get it.

[A]

I mean, if it was anyone else, that would be sad. But given he put himself in that circumstance, and I know people are gonna call up. You guys need to move on past judgment. You don't know what happened to that car. That's all irrelevant. I'm just saying he put himself in that situation where he now has to ask for help. That's sad.

[D]

Well, yeah, I think it's. You know, I told Bertolf Ehrer that it's not so much. I mean, it has a lot to do, of course, of what he did, but I think anytime you do something wrong, it's how you handle it after you've done it. I think that is what sticks in the mind of people. And I just don't think that after the fact that he. I don't know, did enough to try to make up for it. I Guess.

[B]

Well, he needed to disappear for a while. At least take a year off of music and then come back. Show that you went to rehab for your problem and your domestic abuse situation and then come back. And then I think people would have been way more supportive.

[G]

I need all of the fans that I have. I need your help. It's crazy because some radio stations aren't playing my records. I can't be an underground mixtape artist.

[C]

It's the Vert Show. I believe that this show can handle it in a mature way. Where it would be. Let me finish. Let me finish. Where it would be educational yet interesting also, because you have to say, the dude is intriguing.

[B]

Yes, I agree completely.

[D]

If Wendy agrees. My thing is, if the women of our audience really care, then that's what we're here for. I don't care. But if Wendy's intrigued by him, then.

[C]

Cause we were in our post show meeting the other day and we're coming up with all these new ideas. Like Ask a Gynecologist will be a segment.

[A]

Well, we kind of doing that in

[H]

about a half hour.

[C]

Ask a nutritionist. Ron Jeremy is in town. This guy back in the day was like, he was in a lot of adult films. I don't want to get too much into it because we still got kids listening.

[F]

Right.

[C]

But after 8:30, I think give the guy a couple of minutes and ask a couple of questions about the industry in an intelligent way and not a creepy way. I think would be intriguing.

[D]

As long as the interview's for our audience and not for you too.

[A]

It's not for me. I was like, little weird. I'm a little creeped out by it. But I have to tell you, he was in the hall and he was talking to Tim from the regular guys. And I was like, the three of us were having a conversation and I could see Burt and Ron at the same time.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I said to Burt, hey, you want to say hi to Ron Jeremy? And you. Actually, it would have been the same as if I had said to you, I think, like, hey, you want to say hi to Chipper Jones? Like, you know how you get excited about sports guys?

[C]

I think in name alone, honestly. I know you guys are gonna think I'm BSing. I've never seen him in any movie at all.

[B]

Me neither.

[C]

But I know that when it comes to adult films, this is like the hall of Famer right here. So I'm just trying to think, like, is there any entertainment value after 8:30 to talking to a guy? I'm sort of Interested to know that there's questions that I can't even get into now because it's just too early. But he'll be on after 8:30. If it gets creepy, we just end the interview.

[D]

But he's also been in reality shows. I mean, he's done things on television, you know, that would be interesting too. So, you know, I. I'm, of course, be respectful to him. I mean, he's made the most of his assets. So he's a little dude, you know, he's my size.

[C]

He's like 5.

[B]

5 shorter.

[C]

Had no idea.

[D]

Yeah, some.

[A]

That makes everything look bigger.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

It's a little. Happy birthday, Melissa Rock.

[C]

You are one lucky. Happy birthday girl.

[A]

We got you prepared.

[D]

Thank you, guys. It's. It's what I come to expect from you.

[A]

And Melissa's like, can you even get me a lesbian porn star?

[D]

That's fantastic.

[C]

Hey, Scott, good Morning. You're on Q100. How are you?

[H]

Good. How are you guys doing?

[C]

Great, thank you.

[G]

I was just calling to say happy

[H]

birthday to Melissa because it's my birthday too.

[D]

Oh, happy birthday.

[G]

Thanks. That's pretty much it.

[B]

That's enough.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

Hey, Katrina, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning.

[C]

Hey, how are you?

[F]

I'm mortified that I'm following the Ron Jeremy conversation. I just wanted to tell Melissa happy birthday.

[D]

Thank you.

[F]

And I have been listening to you since the Not Lisa days. And I have to tell you, originally I was like, oh, God, not her. But now, all this time later, I totally have straight girl crush on you.

[C]

That's awesome.

[D]

Well, thank you very much.

[C]

That's a birthday present.

[H]

And it sounds.

[D]

Yes, that is. Thank you so much.

[C]

Look, this is such a big deal, Melissa turning 40 today. I mean, Melissa's birthday today, that the AP news actually covered it. Have you heard this?

[B]

Really?

[D]

No.

[I]

A Georgian television station has shown what it says to be the world's oldest person. The woman is named Melissa Carter. The station says she was born back in 1880. That will make her 130 years old. The station says it established her birth date from documents at the country's civil registration agency. Now, if authentic, the woman would be the world's oldest living person by nearly two decades. Georgia's civil registry agency is now trying to get the woman's documents verified, possibly putting her in the Guinness Book of World Records. Brian Thomas, the associated prince.

[C]

Hey, congratulations, man.

[B]

Awesome. Great job.

[D]

I'm honored, first of all, to be able to still have the voice of youth that I had being 130 years old. That's a really big deal for the

[C]

Associated Press to cover your birthday. Just one more time, just in case you missed that.

[B]

Absolutely.

[I]

A Georgian television station has shown what it says to be the world's oldest person. The woman is named Melissa Carter and the station says she was born back in 1880. That will make her 130 years old. The station says it established her birth date from documents of the country's civil registration agency. Now, if authentic, the woman would be the world's oldest living person by nearly two decades. Georgia Civil Registry Agency is now trying to get the woman's documents verified, possibly putting her in the Guinness Book of World Record. Brian thomas, the Associated Press.

[A]

You know what I feel bad for?

[C]

It's a great piece.

[D]

I'm honored. Thank you AP for covering my birthday.

[A]

Your mom ever listen online?

[D]

No.

[A]

Because if she tuned into that, she'd be like, oh my God, that makes me 206. Dear Lord, that's great.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

You know what, whenever they interview the old people, they always ask what the secret is to your longevity. And it's usually like, you know, bottle of whiskey and a cigar every morning. I've never eaten an apple in my life. Raw steak, rare.

[D]

So you're asking me why the longevity is Bailey's in my coffee every morning and no men in my bed?

[C]

No, it's a laid.

[H]

They can't hear that.

[C]

Congratulations.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

Thank you.

[C]

This is the Bird Show.

[F]

Happy birthday America.

[C]

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[H]

When I scraped my car in that parking garage, I was worried that it

[A]

could be a long process to take care of it.

[H]

Like a landscaper's first day trimming a hedge.

[I]

Me, I have definitely already been here. Now, was it left, right or right left?

[A]

Well, maybe I'll cut a path out and find my way back later.

[H]

But it wasn't like that. I filed a claim in under two minutes on the Geico app and they handled it from there. It was taken care of almost as quickly as it happened. It feels good to get help quick. It feels good to Geico.