Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, June 9 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show

Episode: Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, June 9 [Vault]

Date: June 9, 2026

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Brief Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show balances hilarious trending moments, listener drama, and playful cast banter. The show kicks off with a deep dive into the viral "Pants on the Ground" sensation, segues into a tense in-workplace rivalry over a raise, tackles a marriage-ruffling misunderstanding about a co-worker's photo, and wraps with a lighthearted investigation into the Farmville craze. The conversation is unscripted, honest, and full of both laughs and relatable awkwardness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Pants on the Ground" Viral Moment

Timestamps: 01:30 – 09:25

• American Idol Auditions in Atlanta:
  The crew recaps General Larry Platt's unforgettable "Pants on the Ground" performance that stole the spotlight at age 62.
  • "Pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground" — General Larry Platt (02:04)
  • Platt's song becomes a top trending topic overnight on Twitter.
  • Origin Story: Inspired by Platt’s real-life encounter with a youth sagging his pants in Atlanta.
  • Civil Rights Of Note: Platt isn’t just a viral star—he’s recognized for decades of activism, even honored in Atlanta with “Larry Platt Day”.
  • The team plays several remixes (Auto-Tune, street, crunk, and even Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young).
    • “He was the only thing that people were talking about when it came to American Idol on Thursday morning.” — Burt (03:15)

Memorable Quotes

• "He was beaten really badly during the Bloody Sunday march from Selma, Alabama, to Montgomery." — Burt (04:56)
• "This is what I’m known for." — Burt (09:25), joking about Platt's unexpected celebrity.

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2. The Office Raise Showdown

Timestamps: 10:30 – 23:06

• Background:
  Two coworkers, Sally and Jenny, tried to negotiate a raise together only to be pitted against each other by their boss, who eventually suggests the listeners should vote for the winner.
• Jenny’s Pitch:
  Jenny discusses her reliability and accuses Sally of being less productive, while fielding tough questions about loyalty and professionalism.
  • "I just think I’m a more agreeable, more helpful co-worker than she is ...even if I do take calls from my kids, I get my work done." — Jenny (16:09)
  • Both women criticized for focusing on weaknesses in each other instead of making a positive argument.
• Listener React:
  Multiple callers complain that both women are unprepared and overly negative—many advocate firing both. They also question the professionalism of the boss for involving a radio show in workplace business.
  • "There are so many unemployed people right now that would go to work... get real. Shut up." — Caller Maria (19:12)
  • _"Neither one of them deserved the job." — Caller (20:38)
• Show Reflection:
  The hosts debate biases in workplace competition; some stereotypes about women’s workplace dynamics are thrown around, prompting playful rebuttals.
  • "Women are each other’s worst..." — Burt (interrupted by Jeff, 23:46)
  • "Women, stay at home, take care of the kids, get out of the workplace." — (sarcastically) Melissa imitates outdated logic (23:54)

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3. Awkward Relationship Drama: The Co-Worker Photo

Timestamps: 25:06 – 36:17

• Daniel’s Dilemma:
  Daniel calls in using a voice changer for advice. His wife is convinced he's having an affair because he placed a photo of a female coworker (who gave him a frame as a Secret Santa gift) on his desk. The photo was chosen simply to fill up the picture frame, but now his wife is suspicious.
  • "I need someone in my office that I work with to call my wife and tell her that there’s absolutely nothing going on." — Daniel (25:36)
  • The show questions why Daniel put that specific picture up, suggesting some choices are just ill-advised.
  • Listeners call in with advice, suspicion, and some light roasting—one caller even calls Daniel "full of it" (32:18).
  • Daniel tries to defend himself against accusations of stupidity and infidelity.
  • "You need to man up and tell your wife that if she has an issue, she needs to go hire a lawyer..." — Caller Kevin (35:34)
  • The hosts close the segment resignedly: "That is not gonna end well." — Burt (36:20)

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4. Farmville Investigation: "Farmville Gate"

Timestamps: 37:27 – 42:35

• Cast Call-Out:
  The team teases Melissa Carter for secretly playing Farmville on Facebook while previously claiming ignorance. They dig up evidence of her online achievements and piece together when she started playing.
  • "She’s got no problem coming on the radio and telling all of Atlanta she’s gay, but telling them that she’s playing Farmville? She’ll have nothing to do with that." — Burt (39:18)
  • Turns out Melissa started playing Farmville on January 5th after denying knowledge that morning; her “farm” died after a few days due to neglect.
  • "She got in for 24 hours." — Melissa Carter (42:25)
  • The segment is capped with laughter: "I thought we had a controversy on our hands, but it looks like we’re past it." — Burt (42:31)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Moment | |-----------|--------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:04 | General Larry Platt | "Pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground..." | | 04:56 | Burt (Host) | "He was beaten really badly during the Bloody Sunday march from Selma..." | | 09:25 | Burt (Host, joking)| "This is what I’m known for." | | 16:09 | Jenny | "I just think I'm a more agreeable, more helpful co-worker than she is..." | | 19:12 | Caller Maria | "Get real. Shut up." | | 23:46 | Burt (Host) | "Wasn’t it you, Jen, that say that women are each other’s worst..." | | 25:36 | Daniel (Listener) | "I need someone in my office that I work with to call my wife and tell her that there’s absolutely nothing going on."| | 32:18 | Paula (Caller) | "This guy is so full of it." | | 35:34 | Kevin (Caller) | "You need to man up and tell your wife that if she has an issue, she needs to go hire a lawyer."| | 39:18 | Burt (Host) | "She’s got no problem coming on the radio and telling all of Atlanta she’s gay, but telling them that she’s playing Farmville? She’ll have nothing to do with that."| | 42:25 | Melissa Carter | "She got in for 24 hours." |

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Segment Timestamps (MM:SS)

• Pants on the Ground Recap & Remixes: 01:30–09:25
• Sally vs. Jenny Raise Drama: 10:30–23:06
• Daniel’s Photo Dilemma: 25:06–36:17
• Farmville Gate: 37:27–42:35

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Tone & Style

The tone is punchy, irreverent, and playful, mixing heartfelt moments (Larry Platt’s activism history) with banter, sarcasm, and self-aware teasing among friends. The show’s authenticity shines through frank discussions of awkward office politics, relationships, and pop culture obsessions.

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Summary

This episode showcases The Bert Show at its blend of humor, real-life drama, and group therapy for both listeners and cast. From viral sensations and workplace showdowns to relationship misunderstandings and Facebook games, the stories are relatable, hilarious, and occasionally poignant. Whether you’re here for the laughs, the cringe, or the “did-they-really-say-that” moments, this installment is a shining sample of the show’s addictive appeal.

Transcript

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[Burt (Host)]

The Bird Show. All right, so let's back to American Idol on Wednesday night. And there they are. They're in Atlanta and they're doing their auditions at the W, Midtown. And this dude here steals the show. 62 years old. General Larry Platt.

[General Larry Platt]

Name is Larry Platt. My name. General Larry Platt.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes, General Larry Platt.

[Kevin]

Oh, you're a general.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[General Larry Platt]

I want to sing my song called Pants on the ground.

[Melissa Carter]

Pants on the ground, Pants on the

[General Larry Platt]

ground need putting our pants up.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay, ready when you are.

[General Larry Platt]

Okay, ready?

[Daniel]

One, two, three.

[General Larry Platt]

Pants on the ground Pants on the ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground with the gold in your mouth Head turn sideways Pants hit the ground Call yourself a cool cat Looking like a fool Walking downtown with your pants on the ground Giddy up. Hey, get your pants off the ground Looking like a fool walking, talking with your pants on the ground hey, get your pants off the ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground Go in the mouth.

[Daniel]

Thank you.

[General Larry Platt]

Talking with your pants on the ground

[Jeff]

That's Mary J. Blige, losing it. Laughing so hard. Larry.

[Burt (Host)]

Call yourself a cool kid. Thank you, Larry. All right, so dude steals the show, right? He was the most tweeted item all day yesterday. Right.

[Melissa Carter]

It was the night that it. The night that aired Wednesday night. He Within a couple of hours, Pants on the Ground was the number one item on the trending topics on Twitter. And it's I saw it up there a couple times yesterday in the top 10. Like, that's impressive.

[Daniel]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

I mean, he was the only thing that people were talking about when it came to American Idol on Thursday morning. But watching it on Wednesday night, you're like, who is this? This guy's crazy. He's a clown. 62 years old, trying out for American Idol, too.

[General Larry Platt]

It's crazy.

[Burt (Host)]

So what we found out yesterday, if you read the ajc, Rodney Ho tracked him down and the song came about. He was just walking down the street in Atlanta and in downtown Atlanta with a baby in his arm, sees a guy, and this guy's got his pants slipping down past his hips and his underwear is showing. And Larry got the inspiration to write the song right there. You know, he actually confronted the kid and said, you know, pick up your pants, man. Daddy, now do something about it. So that's where it all starts.

[Jeff]

A rap song with a message.

[Burt (Host)]

And here's what we know about Larry Pratt. If you go to the Civil Rights Veterans Movement website, there is a picture there, and on the left side is Larry Platt at age 16. So he has been active with civil rights for a very, very, very long time.

[Melissa Carter]

Pants are new. Civil rights. He's been doing for years pants activism. Within the past year or so, he

[Burt (Host)]

says to I think this was to Rodney Ho. We had come by bus in 1963 to a church in Savannah, Georgia, to plan a march to desegregate the city. Platt writes Reverend Hosea Williams and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Were our leaders. That particular planned march was canceled, and we were singing to raise our spirits before returning home. And that's what you see the picture of the this guy worked with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in Georgia organizing sit ins in the South.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Burt (Host)]

He was beaten really badly during the Bloody Sunday march from Selma, Alabama, to Montgomery.

[Jeff]

Oh, my gosh.

[Burt (Host)]

And get this, y'.

[Daniel]

All.

[Burt (Host)]

The Georgia General assembly proclaimed September 4, 2001 Larry Platt Day in Atlanta because of his great energy and commitment to equality and the protection of the innocent and for his outstanding service to the Atlanta community and the citizens of Georgia.

[Kevin]

That's Larry Platt.

[General Larry Platt]

He's got a day.

[Jeff]

He's already a hero. Yes.

[Melissa Carter]

That's awesome.

[Burt (Host)]

So that song comes out and we called this yesterday. We knew everybody would get their hands on it and all these remixes would come out. All right, so here's remix number one, the Auto Tune version.

[General Larry Platt]

Pants on the ground, pants on the ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground with your gold cat turn sideways Pants hit the ground Call yourself a cool cat Looking like a fool Walking downtown with your pants on the ground Giddy up, hey, get your pants off the ground Looking like a fool Talking with your pants on the ground.

[Burt (Host)]

That's the Auto Tune version. Here's another version.

[Jeff]

I like this one. This is awesome.

[Burt (Host)]

Kind of street, right?

[Jeff]

I know.

[Burt (Host)]

All right, remix number three.

[General Larry Platt]

Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground with some gold in your mouth Call yourself a cool.

[Burt (Host)]

It's like the funky version right here. I think Jimmy Fallon took a shot at it last night also. He comes on stage as Neil Young, this dude from, like, the 60s and 70s.

[General Larry Platt]

Pants on the ground.

[Burt (Host)]

No way.

[Jeff]

That's awesome.

[General Larry Platt]

With the gold in your mouth.

[Burt (Host)]

Oh, my God. All right, so that's Jimmy Fallon doing Neil Young there. This is the Legion of Doom version.

[Jeff]

All right.

[Burt (Host)]

Nothing real special there. The crunk version.

[Jeff]

This has. This could have a dance to it.

[Daniel]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa Carter]

Simon Caldi said it'd be a hit.

[Caller]

Pants on the ground, pants on the

[General Larry Platt]

ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground with the gold in your mouth.

[Jeff]

This is going to be a coordinated dance for sure. He's been doing all this amazing civil rights work for, like, decades, and he's like, this is the thing that gets me, right?

[Burt (Host)]

This is what I'm known for. The bird show.

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[Burt (Host)]

hey, the Birch Show. All right, this has been a long storyline in the making here. We started to talk to Sally last week again. She goes into the boss's office. She has a plan with her co worker Jenny that they're both gonna go into that boss's office and they're gonna demand a raise. Either you give us both the raise or we're getting out of here. Boss doesn't buy it, says, look, I've got some cash, but it's just for one of you. So one of you gets to actually keep your job and get a raise. The other one, bye, bye. So they have their pitches to the boss. Jenny goes in first, she comes out. Then Sally, who we've been talking to for a week now, goes in and the boss just says to her, I, um, have you been on the Burke show talking about this whole thing? Jenny says, yeah, I have. And the boss immediately says, okay, thanks a lot. And this is. This interview is over. So she leaves the office and they don't even talk about her job. The boss calls us up and says, look, if Sally wants to have some fun, let's have some fun. They can both make their pitch on the Burt show and then the listeners can vote on who gets the raise. Sally comes on here yesterday, makes her pitch, and she just hacks it.

[Jenny]

In the two years that I've worked there, I've never been late. I have testimonials from three people that I work with directly. I don't have kids, unlike my other co worker who has kids, which I think makes me a better employee because I don't have to be making personal phone calls once an hour to go check up on my kids.

[Melissa Carter]

Do you think she has missed days when she's been perfectly healthy, but she's had a child under the weather?

[Jenny]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Burt (Host)]

She was very passionate about that. She offended smokers. Smokers yesterday also. Right. And she just didn't really talk about how she deserved the job. She was ripping on so many other people that she really sort of got off message.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah. If she was on the air with this, if she was pitching for 10 minutes, the first two were talking about what makes her good, and the second eight was talking about what makes the other. And that's never. I mean, you can certainly address what makes you more worthy of the raise than the person you're up against, if you know that person. But I don't think you spend the bulk of your time explaining why they're bad.

[Burt (Host)]

Right. And, yeah, I think she's rubbed people the wrong way. I think at one point last week, she called Jenny here like a. Didn't she call her like a. Or something?

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, she did.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. When she found out that Jenny went in and sold her out on the whole radio thing.

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[Burt (Host)]

Remember, she's like, if she did that, she's a.

[Jeff]

But, you know, you guys don't realize. Sally is realized. Sally is a realized employee, whatever that means. Fully realized employee. What does that mean? It's a whole bunch of fluff.

[Burt (Host)]

So here is Jenny now, and it's her turn to make her pitch for her job. Hey, Jenny.

[Jenny]

Hey.

[Burt (Host)]

How are you today?

[Jenny]

Hi. I'm fine. Yeah, let's.

[Burt (Host)]

Let's back up a couple of steps here. So Sally comes to you with this idea to go into the boss's office together. Why did you even consider doing that? I mean, we sort of told that's a bad idea.

[Jenny]

Yeah. Well, now, like, I feel like it was really stupid, but when we did it, I don't know, it felt like the right decision. Just, I felt like we were in, you know, like, solidarity together. Like, I felt like this was somebody I could really trust, like one of my co workers. And I just really thought it would have, like, a positive outcome. And it, like, really ended up just really complicating things a lot more. So.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, it depends on your definition of positive.

[Jenny]

Right?

[Melissa Carter]

Positive. You mean messy.

[Jenny]

Yeah, exactly.

[Melissa Carter]

Well done.

[Jenny]

Quite a mess.

[Burt (Host)]

So when you go into the boss's office for the. The interview is one of the first things you do is you Tell the boss that Sally's been on the radio talking about this.

[Jenny]

Well, you know, I started. I was going to, like, you know, start giving my presentation, but I thought that he should know, like, I thought just to.

[Caller]

Just to get.

[Jenny]

Get it all out there, that he should probably know, you know, what. What was going on, what. What Sally was up to, and, you know, because she might have thought it was, like, a good idea to come on the radio, but I think in retrospect, it was kind of, like, superficial and silly, so, I don't know, I thought it was a good idea to just get it all on the table.

[Burt (Host)]

I mean. I mean, let him know, essentially. You really kind of screwed her over, to be honest with you. I mean, you guys both went in there in solidarity, then as soon as you had the chance, you sorta. You stabbed her in the back.

[Jenny]

Well, you know, I was put in a really, really strange position with kind of competing against her as it was. So I kind of. I mean, I guess maybe you're right, but I think that I did what I had to do, and I think

[Jeff]

Sally would have done the same thing to her.

[Burt (Host)]

You think so?

[Jeff]

I think she would have sold her down the river.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. I don't think she's smart enough to figure that one out.

[Jeff]

I think she is, though. I think she is.

[Burt (Host)]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

And all's fair in love and war. I mean, you're trying to get the job just as much as she was trying to get the job, so.

[Jenny]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

I kind of get that.

[Burt (Host)]

Do you want to address anything that she said yesterday, or would you just rather focus on yourself today and you making the pitch?

[Jenny]

Well, I could adjust some things. I. Honestly, I. When I heard her yesterday, she hadn't prepared much at all, so I just. I really haven't prepared much. I figured you guys to be asking me some questions, but I could address anything, you know, that she said. I was listening, so.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay, question. Okay. All right. So I'll make sure I phrase it right. Okay. Okay. Got it. Why do you deserve a raise over Sally?

[Jenny]

Well, I would say, you know, she had all these things that she was talking yesterday about, you know, being late, not never being late and all of those things. I just. I feel. I feel like around the office, I'm just kind of respected a little bit more. It's not that I have more responsibilities than she has, but it's that I actually do everything that's set out for me to do and more. I think I'm more productive than she is. I think that people around the Office would definitely attest to that, that they can rely on me for more things or do. You know, I've been around a little bit longer than Sally has, and I just think I'm a more agreeable, more helpful co worker than she is. And that would be my main argument, actually. You know, regardless of the fact that she wanted to go on this big tirade about how I have kids and how I'm split focused because of that. And, yeah, obviously my priority is my family. You know, I have two kids and they're my world. And so obviously, you know, that comes first. But that does not by any means mean that I am. That I still don't do my job better than Sally does. You know, I might take calls about my kids at work, but I'm not going to take calls from my girlfriends, which I have seen her do numerous times. You know, I'm not online chatting or anything like that all day as she is. I really get my work done, and I just think anybody in the office would agree with me on that.

[Melissa Carter]

I'd like to go on record right now, by the way, saying that my favorite thing on the bird show is women in competition. Like, that is such a beautiful thing to watch. I'm not gonna address the fact, and I'm not. You know what? I'm not even gonna bring up the fact that she said that stuff about my kids and how they call me at work, because I do get a call. I don't get a call from any girlfriends like someone else does, but I do get a call from my kid every now and again, and I'm not going to talk about it. Or even I'm not going to talk about the fact how she chats on the Internet all the time. I'm not even going to talk.

[Burt (Host)]

But if I did, it would sound like this.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm not.

[Jenny]

Well, you know, it's true. That's just true. I wouldn't, you know, make something like that.

[Burt (Host)]

If I'm a bottom line numbers guy, which one of you contributes to the bottom line more? Who's more productive money wise?

[Jenny]

I don't know if I could officially say that. I would think, you know, I was hired before Sally was, so I would think that the answer would be me, that I'm more productive money wise, more than she is. I mean, I might have to get somebody to back that up, But I'm

[Burt (Host)]

like, 80% sure there's a common theme going on on the phones. Good morning, Maria. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning, Burt. I think they Both should be fired. I mean, it's supposed to be a job interview. And they come on the radio. I didn't prepare. There are so many unemployed people right now that would go to work, that wouldn't get on their social networking sites, that would do their job, that would fight like tooth and nail. I want the money. I need, you know, I need this work right now. And they're like, oh, I didn't even prepare. Like, get real. Shut up.

[Jeff]

Well, this is kind of their boss's idea, though.

[Burt (Host)]

Do we gotta get all mean about it? Hey, Chrissy, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Jenny]

Hey.

[Daniel]

Hi.

[Caller]

How are y' all doing?

[Burt (Host)]

Doing good, thank you.

[Caller]

But I think this is what I think. Like the caller just said before, it's kind of like a job interview. So when you go into a job interview, you never say anything negative about your past employers or your past employees. Never. Because that's automatically a no.

[Daniel]

No.

[Caller]

And then the number two thing, I think. I don't think the boss deserves his job. I mean, how unprofessional it is to do this.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. The only thing I could think over the last couple of days is that this isn't a high level position or the boss wouldn't put it up to Burt show listeners to decide who gets the gig. It's the only thing I could think the last couple of days.

[Jeff]

But it is a lot of money that they're vying for a substantial amount of a raise.

[Melissa Carter]

What's that work out to be? Like 400 bucks a month? It's a big deal.

[Kevin]

Mm.

[Burt (Host)]

Good morning, Q100. Hello.

[Melissa Carter]

Hello.

[Jenny]

Hi.

[Burt (Host)]

Hi.

[Caller]

I just wanted to comment about all this. Like, basically what the other college is saying. This is absolutely ridiculous. This basically sounds like a huge cat fight between these two women. Neither one of them deserved the job.

[Jenny]

Again, they should have prepared something. And you never bash the other person.

[Caller]

Neither one of them are professional.

[Jenny]

They're coming in unprepared. And, you know, they're just talking about

[Caller]

how, you know, I mean, it's just.

[Jenny]

It really is absolutely ridiculous.

[Burt (Host)]

Let me ask you this. Hey, Jenny, would you feel of the two scenarios, which would you feel better about Sally getting the raise or both of you being fired?

[Jenny]

Oh, my God. Well, obviously I would feel better about Sally getting the raise. I mean, like, I have a family just before. I'm not in, you know, any kind of position where I would want to lose a job. But, yeah, I hope that that's not the outcome. I really hope that's not what happens either of those Things. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's kind of crazy that people are so on the offensive about, you know, being unprofessional. Like, it's an unprofessional venue to have chosen to come on the radio in the first place.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, I think. I think that has some merit there because this was not your idea. This was your boss's idea. So I don't think that you can. You can be penalized for that. Penalized.

[Daniel]

Penalized.

[Burt (Host)]

Sorry, hit delay. Is there anything else that you want to say?

[Jenny]

I don't know. I just hope that, you know, I don't know. I hope that listeners would really hear. Have heard me out, what I had to say today, even if I was mostly on the defensive, you know, defending what somebody said, kind of. Kind of against my character. I don't know. I would just hope that they can decide with, you know, the most information that I gave.

[Jeff]

I think you'll get votes just because you're a mom.

[Burt (Host)]

I think you'll just get. I think you'll get votes just because you're not Sally.

[Jeff]

That's true. Yeah, that's very true. Very true.

[Melissa Carter]

You could have come on and just hum, right?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, so what we will do, Jenny, is we will put both of these on air interviews up online, and Birchal listeners will vote over the next couple of days and early next week, we'll get the boss on and we'll tell him what the results were. Okay.

[Jenny]

Okay. Well, thanks.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay. Thank you very much. Appreciate it.

[Jenny]

Bye bye.

[Burt (Host)]

It doesn't feel like to me at least looking at what's on the phone, let anybody's really happy with either one of them.

[Jeff]

Oh, no.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. It's just like, get rid of both of them. Good morning, Christopher. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Daniel]

Hi.

[Kevin]

Good morning, Bird Show. Love you guys.

[Burt (Host)]

Thank you, sir.

[Kevin]

I just want to expand on what Jeff said about women over competition. I mean, a man will come on, just list the accomplishments. I've done this. I've done this. You know, I always meet my goals, put two women in competition, they immediately just start attacking each other. It's like those old dating shows.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah.

[Kevin]

You have two women, you get to be fighting over the ugliest guy ever seen. But just because the other girl wants it, immediately start tagging each other like cats and dogs.

[Burt (Host)]

Wasn't it you, Jen, that say that women are each other's worst.

[Jeff]

Stop it. I never say that.

[Burt (Host)]

I think you say that quite a lot.

[Jeff]

I didn't. I have never said that makes Me mad.

[Melissa Carter]

Bert, you said before, like, women, stay at home, take care of the kids, get out of the workplace.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God. Where's Melissa?

[Burt (Host)]

The bird show.

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then, even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O r h e r-s.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightlift by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go use the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhearst.com get it the bird show.

[Burt (Host)]

All right. Daniel wants to be on the voice disguiser. What's going on?

[Daniel]

Hey, I need some advice from you guys.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay. It sounds to me, and at least what Tracy instant messaged to me, that your wife has sort of put you in a weird place.

[Daniel]

Yeah, it's just, you know, from nothing has blown up to some huge thing, and I'm really in a bind. So I need some advice in trying to convince someone to do something awkward. Okay.

[Jeff]

Okay. What's going on?

[Daniel]

Okay, basically, I need someone in my office that I work with to call my wife and tell her that there's absolutely nothing going on. Because there's not.

[Jeff]

Why would she believe that person?

[Daniel]

I would hope because it's really the last hope I have.

[Burt (Host)]

Why does she believe there's something going on now?

[Daniel]

The total misunderstanding.

[Melissa Carter]

Ooh, this will be fun.

[Daniel]

It's all about misunderstanding, about pictures. I've had two pictures at my desk on this little bulletin board. You know, no frame or anything for years. One's A family photo. You know, me, the wife, the kids at the beach, you know, great looking family thing. The other one, me finishing a marathon, I thought a pretty good accomplishment, you know.

[Jeff]

Mm.

[Daniel]

That's all I got. So Secret Santa is here. One of my co workers, she gave me, you know, one of the three frame sort of things that you put on the desk. So an actual frame for these pictures. Okay. So great. I popped in the two, and I thought that was good to go. And I didn't really care about the third, you know, empty slot, but she has been commenting on it for, like, the last month now. And I'm like, oh, my God. All right, all right. So innocently I go on my computer and I just. I find any random picture, one of my co workers, like, from a company event, you know, email us all pictures. Okay. So it happened to be one of those pictures that's like, you know, up and down, like the vertical kind, you know.

[Jeff]

Mm.

[Jenny]

I just.

[Daniel]

I innocently printed up one of these pictures. It happened to be the co worker that gave me, you know, the frame. I figured this will kind of shut

[Burt (Host)]

her up, you know, Just to fill the vomit.

[Daniel]

Yeah, basically. And I put it in there. I didn't think anything of it. And she stopped bugging me about the frame thing.

[Melissa Carter]

Is it a picture of just your coworker? Is it like you and your coworker or a group of people with that coworker?

[Daniel]

It was just the two of us at this company event.

[Melissa Carter]

So it's you and your co worker at a company function. Vertical picture, plugging in the frame. All is good.

[Daniel]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And is your co worker good looking?

[Daniel]

I guess you could say that, yeah. But I mean, I don't even, like, know much about this woman. Like, there's nothing absolutely going on. She works in a different department than me, you know.

[Burt (Host)]

So just based on that one picture, your wife is assuming that you're having an affair with her.

[Daniel]

So she came in two days ago to drop off some stuff. She saw the frame and she flipped out on me. And now she wanted to talk to me. She, you know, is certain there's something going on. She thinks it's, like, totally disrespectful, all this stuff. And. And I don't know what to do. The only thing I thought is, like, oh, my God, have this co worker of mine call my wife and just tell her there's nothing going on. Maybe she'll believe her, I hope. I don't know.

[Burt (Host)]

That is an odd spot.

[Melissa Carter]

I just think it's funny because you've got. There's so much. First of all, you're dealing with your wife, which sucks, so that's a bummer. Second of all, the conversation you're gonna have to have with your co worker is gonna be awkward. That's fun for the radio, but that's gonna be like, hey, can you do me a favor? And so that's gonna be weird. And then the conversation that the coworker is gonna. And then what's that Conversation's not gonna help because of course. What if you were having an affair with her?

[Kevin]

What would.

[Melissa Carter]

She wouldn't call up and confess to it. Like, it would be the same thing. You know what I'm saying? So, like, if, if he was having a relationship with her, which I'm not,

[Jeff]

he would never put a picture on his desk.

[Burt (Host)]

Right? Because everybody in the office knows that you're married also, Right?

[Daniel]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

How come that logic doesn't work on your wife?

[Daniel]

I don't know. I mean, it was the craziest thing. She, she was like, you know, why would you put a picture of her specifically in that? You know, three series. And you know, obviously she's important to you. I'm like, try to explain as I just did to you guys. And you know, she just doesn't believe me. I don't know, she's kind of. Something snapped in her head and I mean, I've, I've never, you know, I've never even attended cheating. I don't look at other women, you

[Burt (Host)]

know, please feel insecure about something. Hey, Marissa. Marissa, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. Thanks. My comment or question is that. Okay. And I don't believe that he's having an affair. I believe that, you know, he's telling the truth on that point. But out of all of the random thousands of pictures that are online available for anyone to print off, why did he go after this picture with this girl? He could have gotten a picture of a dog, a cat, any animal, you know, a football team that he likes, an athlete that he likes anything else. But he went and took the time and effort to go find a picture of this girl.

[Burt (Host)]

I think he addressed that. That's because she's the one that ended up giving you the frame, right?

[Daniel]

Yeah. I mean, honestly, I didn't have any pictures like that would fit in that slot. And I went on my computer and there were 10 pictures that this buddy of ours from the office emailed us from this event. And yeah, it seemed like a no brainer. It was a win, win.

[Burt (Host)]

You know it's gonna be an odd conversation.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

With the co worker. Yeah.

[Jeff]

It's really weird. And I don't know that it's gonna do any good.

[Melissa Carter]

It won't be because from the wife's perspective. But that's what the mistress would say.

[Kevin]

Right.

[Melissa Carter]

You know what I mean? That's what I was trying to say earlier. Like.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Melissa Carter]

So, yeah, I think.

[Jeff]

You think you just gotta try to get to your. To talk to your wife again and be like, it doesn't make any sense that I would put a picture on the desk.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey, Amanda.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey. You got Daniel here, who filled up one of his frames with a small picture of a female co worker. And his wife is flipped out, thinking he's having an affair.

[Caller]

Right. I was saying maybe she doesn't think he's having an affair. Maybe she's just mad that he thought enough of this woman to put a picture of her on his desk. I mean, I'd be pretty furious if my husband had a picture of another woman on his desk.

[Burt (Host)]

I've got one of those right now of Joanna. The desk on my desk in my office right now. She gave all of us a frame. In true Joanna theme. She gave us all a frame, and it had her picture in it. And I put it on my desk in my office at home, and it's sitting there to my left, and she's staring at me all day long. And Stacy hasn't said a word about it.

[Melissa Carter]

Really?

[Daniel]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

Which I'm upset about. Like, you should be jealous about that.

[Melissa Carter]

Maybe she heard us talking about it or something.

[Jeff]

I think she laughs about it. She's like, oh, yeah, right. I can't get enough with her.

[Burt (Host)]

That would be a slight on herself then, wouldn't it? I don't know.

[General Larry Platt]

I don't know.

[Burt (Host)]

Good morning. Paula's not buying the story. Hey, Paula.

[Caller]

This guy is so full of it.

[General Larry Platt]

Oh, no.

[Caller]

Oh, my God. Why do men do this? They come up with a story and they think, I just have to stick with this story. This is my story. This is it. This is what I'm gonna tell her.

[Burt (Host)]

Why are you so sure that he's lying?

[Caller]

He's not that stupid. I'm sorry. And if he is, heaven help us all. He can't be that stupid.

[Melissa Carter]

Why?

[Burt (Host)]

Let's ask him. Daniel, are you that stupid?

[Daniel]

He's completely innocent. Give me a break. I'm not doing anything.

[Burt (Host)]

No, the question is, are you stupid? Are you that stupid?

[Caller]

He's either stupid to frame it or stupid to think we're dumb enough to believe that he's that dumb.

[Burt (Host)]

Which one is it, Daniel? You're stupid either way.

[Daniel]

Thank God this woman's not my wife.

[Burt (Host)]

So, Paul, I just don't understand, like, what he said that makes you think that you're so sure that he's. He's full of it.

[Caller]

Well, it's ridiculous. First off, if you have, you've got a public picture sitting out there for all of your co workers to see. Has no one ever made a joke that might have clued him in? If this is true, okay, if he's saying, I am just this dumb, that I framed up this picture and it

[Melissa Carter]

meant nothing, it's only been a week or two. Like, he gets a secret cubicle.

[Daniel]

Excuse me.

[Caller]

Which is public, which people see into. Wouldn't you have a picture of your wife in there?

[Melissa Carter]

He does.

[Caller]

A darn frame away.

[Burt (Host)]

He does have a picture of his wife.

[Melissa Carter]

He has a picture of his whole family and him running a race and him and his office girlfriend.

[Burt (Host)]

Dude, too soon. I don't know what to tell you, man. I mean, it's not gonna do you any good if that's the way you decide to go. Getting a call from the co worker to say, hey, your husband's really not having an affair is Gonna do you0 Good.

[Jeff]

It actually might fuel the fire a little bit more.

[Daniel]

Well, then I don't know what to do. I mean, I hope my wife doesn't continue to react like that. Last caller.

[Burt (Host)]

I don't know. Does anybody have any.

[Jeff]

You can't. I mean, it is messed up that you'd have a picture of another woman on your desk, regardless if it was Anderson or not.

[Burt (Host)]

Well, stupid and having an affair are two different things.

[Jeff]

Definitely. But I don't totally disagree with the call who said that he might actually like her, because who does go through all the pictures in the world that you could pick out, and you pick her out to put it in. I think you got probably a little crush on her, and I think that your wife's probably suspecting that.

[Daniel]

Oh, my God. Okay. You know, the thing is, I just thought is that my co worker actually thought enough to buy the frame for me. My wife never did, but that's it. She was just.

[Jeff]

So maybe the co worker has a crush on you, too.

[Daniel]

Okay, then maybe that. Maybe that's a mistake, all right? Because I don't have any feelings for this woman. I don't know her.

[Burt (Host)]

But just that statement that you just made sort of had some animosity built into it that she bought me a frame and my wife never did you.

[Daniel]

It's like my wife never did. And this is the most innocent thing.

[Melissa Carter]

Have you used that line in the presence of your wife in the past week? Have you said, she bought me a frame and you never did?

[Daniel]

No, I only just thought about it now because I didn't defend myself, kind of to you guys.

[Melissa Carter]

Just so you know, if you want your testicles to remain attached to your body, never say that sentence around your wife.

[Burt (Host)]

Kevin, go ahead. You have some advice here for Daniel.

[Kevin]

Yeah. Daniel, you need to man up and tell your wife that if she has an issue, she needs to go hire a lawyer. If she doesn't believe you. My ex wife. And the key word in this key word in this phrase is X. Told the same things on me. First it was a co worker, then it was a female college friend, and then suddenly, you know any woman within 20 mile radius I was having an affair with. You need to tell her, hire a lawyer and prove it.

[Jeff]

I was afraid where that was going.

[Burt (Host)]

All right, Daniel, we gotta take off, man. But I would like to talk to you on early next week and find out exactly how it all panned out.

[Daniel]

All right, I'll let you know. Thanks, guys.

[Burt (Host)]

You sound defeated, dude. Good luck.

[Daniel]

Thanks. All right, bye.

[Burt (Host)]

Bye.

[Jeff]

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Burt (Host)]

That is not gonna end well. You're on the Birch show.

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects to you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.comb for hers.comb weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states, but Go Bey is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A slash S. Get started and learn more, including important safety information, but Gobi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhearst.com Listen, it's the bird show.

[Burt (Host)]

Spent a goodly amount of time talking about farmville over the last couple of weeks, which to me, I mean, it seems like the most ridiculous waste of time ever. And if you have any kind of life or kids or anything like that, I don't know how you have the time to pull the weed and

[Jeff]

harvest

[Burt (Host)]

the crops and all that stuff. Right.

[Jeff]

But people are into plants or whatever it is to do hours on this website.

[Burt (Host)]

So for weeks we've been talking about it here and we made this suggestion. I made the suggestion this morning. Look, all of us are coming from a place of ignorance. None of us have played this farmville. And here we are ripping on it, but we have no real life experience with it. So we volunteered Melissa Carter, who's sick at home. Anyway. She's not doing anything.

[Jeff]

She's laying on the couch recovering. She hasn't been feeling well, but we figured she can make a couple double clicks and. And feed some crops.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

So.

[Jeff]

Or whatever. Animals. I don't know what you do.

[Burt (Host)]

So somebody called a Birch old listener called us up and said, it's too late, you guys. Melissa's on farmville. And we said, we don't think so. I mean, we've talked about it with Melissa in here. She's never said anything about it. And then we thought maybe she was out the day we were talking about farmville. Oh, no.

[Jeff]

Oh, really?

[Burt (Host)]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

She's here.

[Burt (Host)]

Josh found this. This is when Melissa's voice just started to go. So it doesn't sound like Melissa Carter, but this is Melissa confirming she knows nothing about farmville.

[General Larry Platt]

Nuh.

[Jeff]

There's gotta be something addictive about it.

[Burt (Host)]

Do you know anything about it? No, I don't know anything about it.

[Jeff]

That's not my grandma. That's Melissa

[Burt (Host)]

divorce Melissa Carter saying she knows nothing about Farm Bill.

[Jeff]

This is last week.

[Burt (Host)]

1:5, January 5th is when that audio came out.

[Jeff]

She said that they have played in the last couple of weeks. So it could have been just after that conversation. Maybe she went on to explore it. Or maybe she's been a Farmville addict and she didn't want to admit it.

[Burt (Host)]

So she's got no problem coming on the radio and telling all of Atlanta she's gay, but telling them that she's playing farmville. She'll have nothing to do with that. No, no, no, no.

[Jeff]

No, she can't do that.

[Brandon]

I just looked on there and I didn't see see her in the farmville friends. Which is why I'm confused.

[Burt (Host)]

What you got, Brandon? Come on over here. Oh, I have Melissa Carter playing Farmville on January 5th at 6:09pm oh, Carter, Carter, wait a second.

[Jeff]

The audio is from that morning.

[Burt (Host)]

It was from the fifth. So does that mean she signed up that afternoon?

[Jeff]

Maybe it would have been that afternoon.

[Burt (Host)]

No. Cause what it says is that Melissa is moving up on farmville. So Melissa attained the level of kinder farmer. So she.

[Melissa Carter]

She signed up recently.

[General Larry Platt]

Melissa's in the farmville closet.

[Caller]

She's in the farmville closet.

[Burt (Host)]

Come put your headphones on. Dude, we got audio of her saying she knows nothing about it, but she's playing farmville man.

[Melissa Carter]

Now wait a minute. What's the timing though? How long ago did she say she knows nothing about it?

[Burt (Host)]

Well, this audio is from January 5th. It doesn't sound like Melissa, but it is.

[Jeff]

There's got to be something addictive about it.

[Caller]

No, I don't know anything about it.

[Jeff]

That's not my grandma. That's Melissa.

[Burt (Host)]

Melissa's lost her voice. Okay, so that's January 5th.

[Jeff]

In the morning.

[Burt (Host)]

In the morning.

[Jeff]

And then Brandon has her moving up on Farmville. He found it online at 6:09pm that same day. Moving up.

[Burt (Host)]

Unless she said, can you move up in the same day that you sign on? So if she signed on like let's say at 11 o', clock, could she have moved up a level and clicked her mouse or pulled her weed or whatever?

[Melissa Carter]

I don't think she was clicking her mouse during this. She signed of a ton potentially.

[Burt (Host)]

But I have this off through her Facebook. People giving her Farmville cash gifts dating back to December 21st. Now does that mean that you're part of Farmville if you're getting gifts? Well, you have to accept the gifts. So. I don't know. I don't play farmville.

[General Larry Platt]

I don't.

[Melissa Carter]

You know, we need it.

[Burt (Host)]

Talking about it.

[Brandon]

No, because you can get gifts. Like, you know how some people invite you to things? It's one of those things where it's an app so people will send you a gift. So that's like an invitation. So technically she could have not been on it, but the December 5th could have been the day she signed up. That's a possibility because like the very minute, like you start signing up, every time you get like a ribbon, they'll

[Jeff]

award you so you can move up on the first day you sign up.

[Brandon]

Yeah, probably.

[Melissa Carter]

If she was playing enough now, if

[Burt (Host)]

she was playing a lot that day.

[Melissa Carter]

She cut out early that day, though, right? Because, I mean, her voice. Because that was. I wasn't here. But you guys said that she did. Kicked her out of here. She was so sick.

[Burt (Host)]

And was that the last day she was in? Because she came in one more day, right? Or no, no, no. After she was out of here. That was the last day she's been in.

[Melissa Carter]

She's free and clear.

[Jeff]

Why she was halfway Tuesday.

[Melissa Carter]

She updated her Facebook status after we talked about it in the air, saying she had just started a farm and was gonna try it.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay.

[Melissa Carter]

And then somebody who became her farm neighbor, farm friend, farmer, farmer in the dell, whatever followed her and her farm died three days later.

[Burt (Host)]

Aw, Melissa.

[Melissa Carter]

So she got in for water, the crops.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay.

[Melissa Carter]

She got in for 24 hours.

[Jeff]

That is so funny that you called it Farmville Gate.

[Burt (Host)]

I thought we had a controversy on our hands, but it looks like we're past it.

[Jeff]

We're good.

[Burt (Host)]

You're welcome back, Melissa. This is the bird show.